PDA

View Full Version : RANT: Christmas Tree Lights


cdcox
12-01-2007, 01:16 PM
The people who make these should be boiled in oil. Once their skin blisters off to expose the raw flesh underneath, they should be salted like the slugs that they are.

I don't understand why after all these years, someone hasn't made a better string of lights that will last more than a year or two. You put them away the year before and they work fine. But get them out the next year and inevitably one or two strands are dead. These are more fragile than Kedrell Bell's shoulders. What is so strenuous about the storage process that kills them?

I would easily pay $10 for a string of lights that would last, rather than $2 to $4 for a string that is unreliable. I hate throwing these suckers away every year. What a waste. Not to mention the hassle of driving out to buy new ones. Every stinking year.

Any one have one of those artificial trees with the pre-strung lights? How long have you had it and how reliable have the lights been?

DaFace
12-01-2007, 01:18 PM
Any one have one of those artificial trees with the pre-strung lights? How long have you had it and how reliable have the lights been?

We bought one this year, though ours was pretty cheap. The lights are indeed "pre-strung" in our case, but it's nothing but the same crap you're ranting about wrapped around the branches and attached a little tighter. I doubt it'll be any more reliable than the strings of lights.

blueballs
12-01-2007, 01:20 PM
candles

NewChief
12-01-2007, 01:21 PM
I think those tube/rope lights ,where all the lights are contained in a clear tube, are supposed to be the new and improved lights. Unfortunately, they don't really look the same to me (no offense to anyone who has them in their house).

Rain Man
12-01-2007, 01:21 PM
Christmas lights are the fifth-leading cause of Judaism.

blueballs
12-01-2007, 01:23 PM
10 year old Chinese kids need to eat too

cdcox
12-01-2007, 01:26 PM
$550 to make this problem go away forever. Hmmmmmm.

http://www.hammacher.com/publish/treePrelit.asp?promo=73188

Jilly
12-01-2007, 01:26 PM
whatever, listen to this shit...last week, put the tree up, it's gorgeous, with red lights...all the ornaments on...this past week, on Wednesday, the top part of the lights went out and oddly enough, it's not it's own separate strand, the frickers just stopped working mid strand... what the hell???

Rain Man
12-01-2007, 01:26 PM
The more I think about this, the more I suspect Big Oil. They buy the Christmas light companies, sell really cheap products at low prices that will break, and then guess what? You have to get in the car to go buy new lights. Sinister, really sinister.

And wait - it's all coming together now. Big Oil also owns the Chiefs.

cdcox
12-01-2007, 01:29 PM
Off to WalGreens.

cdcox
12-01-2007, 01:29 PM
The more I think about this, the more I suspect Big Oil. They buy the Christmas light companies, sell really cheap products at low prices that will break, and then guess what? You have to get in the car to go buy new lights. Sinister, really sinister.

And wait - it's all coming together now. Big Oil also owns the Chiefs.

I'll bet big oil stole your bike, too.

Rain Man
12-01-2007, 01:31 PM
I'll bet big oil stole your bike, too.


[Stunned look of sudden comprehension.] Oh, wow.

morphius
12-01-2007, 01:32 PM
whatever, listen to this shit...last week, put the tree up, it's gorgeous, with red lights...all the ornaments on...this past week, on Wednesday, the top part of the lights went out and oddly enough, it's not it's own separate strand, the frickers just stopped working mid strand... what the hell???
Sometimes instead of the entire strand going out they make them so that if you lose some bulbs it only takes out part of it. I have one where the first 1/3 and the last 1/3 are out with the middle working. Piece of crap.

kstater
12-01-2007, 01:34 PM
Uhh, look for the burnt out bulb? :shrug:

NewChief
12-01-2007, 01:36 PM
This brings back a Christmas memory of my father. When it came time to get out all of our Christmas crap, he'd spend an entire night sitting in his recliner, patiently going through all of the stands of lights and finding and replacing the messed up bulbs.

cdcox
12-01-2007, 01:50 PM
Uhh, look for the burnt out bulb? :shrug:

"When one goes out, the rest stay on"

I haven't seen lights like you describe in 15 years.

It is probably a broken wire.

Rain Man
12-01-2007, 01:50 PM
Uhh, look for the burnt out bulb? :shrug:

This is America. We don't do that kind of stuff any more.

Jilly
12-01-2007, 01:52 PM
This is America. We don't do that kind of stuff any more.

I'm not sure how to look for the burned out bulb when they all are dark and it stops working mid strand?

Rain Man
12-01-2007, 02:01 PM
$550 to make this problem go away forever. Hmmmmmm.

http://www.hammacher.com/publish/treePrelit.asp?promo=73188

Or $1,799 to really make a statement.

StcChief
12-01-2007, 02:06 PM
there's a reason they are $1-$3 a box.

Bacon Cheeseburger
12-01-2007, 02:35 PM
You think the ones you put on a tree are a pain, try those exterior icicle lights sometime. Just a complete pain in the ass, not only do sections of them go out, no matter how carefully you wind them up the year before they're still a tangled-up clusterf*ck the next year. Luckily this year I'm suffering from neck problems so I won't be expected to put the damn things up.

JBucc
12-01-2007, 02:42 PM
I have a smaller tree that used those optical fibers and a light at the base that spins and changes colors. It's pretty cool. Surprised I haven't seen any full sized versions.

RJ
12-01-2007, 02:44 PM
I am offended by decorative holiday lighting.

siberian khatru
12-01-2007, 03:00 PM
Is this thread for religious or non-religious people?

Sully
12-01-2007, 03:15 PM
Your little lights aren't twinkling, Clark.

RJ
12-01-2007, 03:16 PM
Is this thread for religious or non-religious people?



This is the thread for non-religious people born on Thursday who are having trouble with non-demoninational colored lighting. But all are welcome here.

DaneMcCloud
12-01-2007, 03:32 PM
Huh.

I bought indoor-outdoor colored lights at Sears four years ago and they've worked fine each year.

In 2004, I bought a pre-lit 8' foot tree and it's worked perfectly each year. The pre-lit is expensive but worth it, especially in our dry climate.

Gravedigger
12-01-2007, 05:50 PM
We just put up our icesickle lights and single strand white lights on our front porch, side porch and garage. The funniest thing is that now my girlfriend is like "The top of the house looks totally neglected." Working outside in 30 degree windy weather all day and thats what she said.

Halfcan
12-01-2007, 05:53 PM
My Christmas lights have been working for five years now-of coarse they have never been out of the box yet.

I hope to get them hung up this year.

Donger
12-01-2007, 05:54 PM
Heh. Xcel Energy just called me and asked the reason for my sudden and dramatic demand increase.

Skip Towne
12-01-2007, 06:02 PM
Are you talking about "series" Christmas lights?. When one bulb burns out they all go off. I didn't think they made those any more.

Donger
12-01-2007, 06:15 PM
Are you talking about "series" Christmas lights?. When one bulb burns out they all go off. I didn't think they made those any more.

Virtually all new Christmas lights are wired in series, with a third wire parallel to the line. Most mini-lights also have a shunt that is before the filament, so if the filament burns out, the circuit can still be closed (with no light, of course).