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Count Alex's Losses
12-02-2007, 11:10 PM
http://www.kansascity.com/sports/chiefs/story/387163.html

Chiefs game hardly worth waking up for

When the wake-up call rang at 5 a.m. in Texas — jolting me out of a fitful 1 hour and 57 minutes of sleep — there was only one thought echoing through my mind.

“Go back to sleep. No way it’s worth waking up at this hour for this Chiefs game.”

No way. We all knew what would happen Sunday when the Chiefs and Chargers played, didn’t we? The Chiefs’ offense would stumble around, the Chiefs’ defense would give up a couple of big plays, the game would be as exciting as watching Rice Krispies go soggy. The Chiefs are hard enough to watch on a full night’s rest. There was no way in the world it could be worth getting up on two hours sleep, rushing to the airport, taking two flights back to Kansas City, all to watch the going-nowhere Chiefs lose to San Diego in the latest episode of “Wow the AFC West Is Bad.”

“Go back to sleep,” the soothing voice in my head said.

Smart voice. I went back to sleep. Conked right out. I slept soundly for 10 minutes. And then I woke up again. A different voice sounded in my head.

“Get up,” it said. “What are you doing? You might miss something good.”

This is what keeps us going, isn’t it? That second voice. There is nothing appealing about the Chiefs right now. Nothing. The Chiefs lost their fifth game in a row Sunday, their fourth in a row at Arrowhead. They did not score in the fourth quarter for the fourth straight game. They guaranteed themselves a non-winning record for the sixth time in 10 seasons. Their franchise running back is injured and won’t tell us how badly. The quarterback situation is in shambles. The cornerbacks are old enough to get into movies for half price. The kick returners are like New York taxi drivers — they can’t break the 20.

But even beyond the obvious struggles, the real problem here is that these Chiefs play the most lifeless, aggravating, conservative, dreary kind of football imaginable. The Chiefs coaches decided some time ago — with good reason, I admit — that the only chance they have of keeping games close is to turn football games into quagmires. Hey, Herm Edwards has to do what he has to do to compete. But who wants to watch a quagmire?

“Go back to sleep,” the voice of reason said. I closed my eyes.

“Get up,” that annoying other voice said. “Something cool might happen.”

Yep, that’s the thing about sports, the two words that keep people coming back: Who knows? You might see something great, something unique, something hilarious. So yeah, I got up. Returned the rental car to someone who looked like she may have worked there. Beeped as I went through airport security. Talked bowl possibilities with groggy Missouri fans on the flights. Landed in Kansas City. Raced across town to get to Arrowhead Stadium. The traffic, not surprisingly, was light.

“What the heck are you doing here?” I was asked while entering the place.

I had no answer. The first quarter went exactly as you might imagine. The Chiefs “new” kicker John Carney — new, yeah, hard to call a guy a new kicker when he’s been around since the American Football League days — made a field goal. San Diego’s Nate Kaeding made a field goal, too. Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers threw an interception. Kansas City’s Damon Huard followed with an interception of his own.

It was every bit as unwatchable as my “Go back to sleep” voice had suggested. It was so bad that the loudest cheer of the first 20 minutes or so happened after Kaeding missed a field goal. The cheer wasn’t that loud. There had to be 15,000 empty seats. By the second half, the empty seats had doubled. Then tripled.

The Chiefs went on a little drive in the second quarter. Quarterback du jour Damon Huard threw the ball high over the middle to Tony Gonzalez for 11 yards and threw it even higher to Gonzalez for 31. The Chiefs moved the ball to the San Diego 2, third down, and that’s when defensive end and Chiefs sack leader Jared Allen entered the game as an eligible receiver.

“Is that Jared Allen?” I asked, because I’m pretty sure I had nodded off.

It was him. The ball was snapped. Allen blocked for a second, and then he ran as fast as he could toward the back left corner of the end zone. Huard threw it to him, but he threw it too far. Allen kept racing after it, and he somehow caught it, and he got his knee inbounds. Touchdown.

“I guess we thought it was time to have a little fun around here,” Allen said afterward.

And, for a moment, it really was fun. Allen celebrated. He had apparently been telling teammates all week how he planned to celebrate his touchdown (“Some of those ideas would have definitely gotten him fined,” teammate Tony Gonzalez said). He went to spike the ball over the goalpost. He hugged everybody. He had the biggest smile. Everyone on the field did. Pretty much everyone in the stands did, too.

“Jared’s a great guy,” offensive lineman Brian Waters says, and that’s true. Allen’s a man who has quit drinking and still tries to make up for the mistakes he has made. He’s a late-round draft pick who has made himself one of the best pass rushers in the NFL. He’s been the team’s best player despite the misery that’s surrounding him. He’s what the Chiefs should be about as they rebuild. And it was fun to watch him score a touchdown.

The fun didn’t last long, of course. The Chiefs defense immediately allowed San Diego to score the tying touchdown, and they went in the tank in the second half. The Chiefs offense wasn’t heard from again. “It’s embarrassing,” Gonzalez said. “All of it.”

So was it worth waking up? I don’t know. Maybe. I got to see Jared Allen’s touchdown catch and see him act like a little boy at recess after he scored. That really was pretty cool. Also, a little later in the game, Chiefs punter Dustin Colquitt bashed an 81-yard wind-aided punt. That’s the longest punt in Chiefs history. Yeah, I probably could have slept in and felt OK missing that.

Thig Lyfe
12-02-2007, 11:14 PM
Wow, that's pretty much exactly my angle. I was tired as hell and couldn't motivate myself to get out of bed until 12:30 because, hey, this team's not worth missing out on an extra half hour of sleep.

Luckily, I managed to get to the TV in time to see Jared Allen's awesome catch. And awesome it was. Definitely more memorable than the rest of the game.

cjp27
12-02-2007, 11:17 PM
Pretty much hits the nail on the head. This team is mediocore to absolutely piss poor in every aspect of the game. At least when the offense was garbage in the '90s (and it was infinitely better than it is now) we had a defense to get excited about. Here's an idea, Herm... if you want to play conservative, ball control offense, and run the ball 80% of the time, why don't you bring in some f&&&### talent on the offensive line!!!

Ari ümlaüt
12-02-2007, 11:21 PM
Jared's touchdown was RIGHT in front of me. It kicked ass.

siberian khatru
12-02-2007, 11:34 PM
The kick returners are like New York taxi drivers — they can’t break the 20.

That's a great line. I don't care if he stole it or created it. That's quality stuff.

KCChiefsFan88
12-03-2007, 12:00 AM
Watching Herm's Chiefs will put you to sleep

Mr Luzcious
12-03-2007, 12:34 AM
I made a compromise, I watched about 15 minutes of the game, during which JA scored. Then I stopped. Best of both worlds.

philfree
12-03-2007, 12:38 AM
I really can't read this JoPo but this is the first time in a couple of decades that the Chiefs truely sucked. if he can't bare one real season of rebuilding then to bad for him. He has lost heart and perspective as a writer.

PhilFree:arrow:

Tribal Warfare
12-03-2007, 12:45 AM
I really can't read this JoPo but this is the first time in a couple of decades that the Chiefs truely sucked. if he can't bare one real season of rebuilding then to bad for him. He has lost heart and perspective as a writer.

PhilFree:arrow:


I think he's like this because he knows that the architects of this rebuilding phase won't construct the Empire State building, but an outhouse instead

philfree
12-03-2007, 12:51 AM
I think he's like this because he knows that the architects of this rebuilding phase won't construct the Empire State building, but an outhouse instead

I disagree. I see alot of good things, I see the bad too but i don't see the bad as to hard to fix and i think the good will still get better. We sucK this year and as much as it makes me wanna puke it's prolly for the best.

PhilFree:arrow:
~who are the achitects?~

blueballs
12-03-2007, 01:07 AM
Carl must go

HypnotizedMonkey
12-03-2007, 01:34 AM
[url]The cornerbacks are old enough to get into movies for half price.

nice.

I had a great time at the game! The weather turned out much nicer than I anticipated... I stretched out in some empty seats and took a nap in the 4th. Eddie Drummond brought me Iced Tea... 2 lemon slices, just how I like it, and I got to know the cheerleaders a bit! Kari & Lexi are my favs. You girls rock! We gotta hit the mall sometime! VY's comin to town... double date??

Tribal Warfare
12-03-2007, 02:13 AM
I disagree. I see alot of good things, I see the bad too but i don't see the bad as to hard to fix and i think the good will still get better. We sucK this year and as much as it makes me wanna puke it's prolly for the best.

PhilFree:arrow:
~who are the achitects?~

Herm has an eye for talent, but poor gameday coach

Short Leash Hootie
12-03-2007, 05:30 AM
this is truly a great article...after the game I didn't bore my non Chiefs friends with 'I can't believe the Chiefs did this or didn't do that or blew the game blah blah blah', instead I was like 'did you guys see the Jared Allen TD?!'

That's what this season has boiled down to...I'll still watch every game but I don't spend 90% of it yelling at the TV...I just kind of laughed.

I was watching the game with a friend (no interest in the Chiefs) and it was 3rd and 23 and I guaranteed him the next pass was going to be an INT...because it was the 4th quarter and they had to go for the chains..and boom, interception.

And everyone wonders why Huard/Croyle throw 5 yard dump passes on 3rd and loooong...

TEX
12-03-2007, 07:52 AM
But even beyond the obvious struggles, the real problem here is that these Chiefs play the most lifeless, aggravating, conservative, dreary kind of football imaginable. The Chiefs coaches decided some time ago — with good reason, I admit — that the only chance they have of keeping games close is to turn football games into quagmires. Hey, Herm Edwards has to do what he has to do to compete. But who wants to watch a quagmire?

___________________________________________________________

Well we also tried that approach against the Colts last year in the playoffs and it got us nowhere even with our franchise RB and HOF Guard, so...

Chief Chief
12-03-2007, 08:02 AM
Yes, it is sad when the Chiefs' best offensive play of the game occurs when their DE catches a pass.