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View Full Version : What Is The Worst Thing You've Ever Done


Donger
12-26-2007, 10:55 AM
to your mother-in-law? I have plans for later this evening. Should be epic. The harpy is terrified of mice, so I bought six of the little f*ckers and I intend to release them in "her suite" later on while she takes her two hour post-dinner "shower."

How about you? Please do share.

Thanks.

Skip Towne
12-26-2007, 10:57 AM
I can't top that one.

Donger
12-26-2007, 10:58 AM
I can't top that one.

It's actually rather benign, but she claims to have a "bad heart," so I'll have my fingers crossed.

Bob Dole
12-26-2007, 11:02 AM
Explained to her that Bob Dole played by her rules when he was in HER home, so she could stay in a ****ing hotel if she didn't feel compelled to return the courtesy.

So she stayed in a hotel.

Bowser
12-26-2007, 11:02 AM
Donger, do you rent your services out for harpy M-I-L's?

Donger
12-26-2007, 11:04 AM
Explained to her that Bob Dole played by her rules when he was in HER home, so she could stay in a ****ing hotel if she didn't feel compelled to return the courtesy.

So she stayed in a hotel.

Where's the fun in that?

Donger
12-26-2007, 11:04 AM
Donger, do you rent your services out for harpy M-I-L's?

No.

Ari ümlaüt
12-26-2007, 11:06 AM
Is your Mother in Law a Bronco fan?

Bob Dole
12-26-2007, 11:07 AM
Where's the fun in that?

The fun was in being able to get home from work at 1am and not be awakened by some rude bitch who crawled out of bed at 5am on Saturday morning and sang at the top of her ****ing lungs for 2 hours.

Phobia
12-26-2007, 11:08 AM
You'd probably have to ask her. I've always been pretty respectful, I believe.

I despised my last MIL but still treated her with respect.

Donger
12-26-2007, 11:08 AM
The fun was in being able to get home from work at 1am and not be awakened by some rude bitch who crawled out of bed at 5am on Saturday morning and sang at the top of her ****ing lungs for 2 hours.

What (and why) did she sing?

a1na2
12-26-2007, 11:08 AM
I must have had the only M-I-L that would be considered the best M-I-L that anyone could have.

I've heard quite a few of the horror stories of other M-I-L's and some of them sound pretty bad.

Hope you get the inheritance that you want from the harpy one.

Iowanian
12-26-2007, 11:09 AM
I married her daughter.


I'm lucky, my inlaws are good folks.

Bob Dole
12-26-2007, 11:11 AM
What (and why) did she sing?

Bob Dole doesn't remember any specific tunes. She was just one of those annoyingly cheerful morning people who arose at 5am and thought anyone who didn't was a lazy piece of shit. Which completely ignored tha fact that the lazy piece of shit paid for the house she was invading and was working well after she was drooling on the guest pillows.

Nzoner
12-26-2007, 11:13 AM
the worst thing I ever done was just being alive,woman hated me and most every other man in this world as well.

Simply Red
12-26-2007, 11:13 AM
No.
ROFL ohh, the dryness...

Donger
12-26-2007, 11:14 AM
Bob Dole doesn't remember any specific tunes. She was just one of those annoyingly cheerful morning people who arose at 5am and thought anyone who didn't was a lazy piece of shit. Which completely ignored tha fact that the lazy piece of shit paid for the house she was invading and was working well after she was drooling on the guest pillows.

That is rather bad. My MiL is the same way, in fact. Except she hums. I'm an early riser myself, so we have been sharing the mornings together. I've learned that she absolutely abhors silence.

Dave Lane
12-26-2007, 11:56 AM
So did you do it?

D

StcChief
12-26-2007, 12:22 PM
x-MIL....my best move. got outta that F'Up family

DenverDanChiefsFan
12-26-2007, 12:28 PM
I just keep mine full of gin - then we get along fine.

Donger
12-26-2007, 12:35 PM
So did you do it?

D

Did I release the vermin? If so, no, not yet. It isn't its bathing time yet.

Donger
12-26-2007, 12:36 PM
I just keep mine full of gin - then we get along fine.

She actually gets worse if she has anything to drink.

SPchief
12-26-2007, 12:45 PM
Anybody think it's weird that Donger knows his MIL's bathing schedule?

Bwana
12-26-2007, 12:54 PM
My MIL live in Barbados. I never see her, so am not forced to resort to advanced Bwana abuse. It works out well.

xbarretx
12-26-2007, 01:00 PM
It's actually rather benign, but she claims to have a "bad heart," so I'll have my fingers crossed.

instead of crossing your fingers, just think "boom"

chagrin
12-26-2007, 01:02 PM
The Harpy, LMAO

Donger
12-26-2007, 01:07 PM
Anybody think it's weird that Donger knows his MIL's bathing schedule?

Everyone in the house knows it. She announces it like its some kind of f*cking momentous event. Then, after she's done, she comes downstairs and says, "You need a larger hot water heater. It got lukewarm towards the end." After explaining that most normal people don't shower for two f*cking hours that the house has two 40 gallon hot water heaters, she replies with "Well! There must be something wrong with them then!"

At that point, I usually go outside and shovel snow for a while. I actually shoveled my street last night.

HonestChieffan
12-26-2007, 01:11 PM
I just avoid all contact

xbarretx
12-26-2007, 01:11 PM
Everyone in the house knows it. She announces it like its some kind of f*cking momentous event. Then, after she's done, she comes downstairs and says, "You need a larger hot water heater. It got lukewarm towards the end." After explaining that most normal people don't shower for two f*cking hours that the house has two 40 gallon hot water heaters, she replies with "Well! There must be something wrong with them then!"

At that point, I usually go outside and shovel snow for a while. I actually shoveled my street last night.

Donger, if you have spare time feel free to come on out to Gardner and do my driveway :thumb:

Fruit Ninja
12-26-2007, 01:40 PM
to your mother-in-law? I have plans for later this evening. Should be epic. The harpy is terrified of mice, so I bought six of the little f*ckers and I intend to release them in "her suite" later on while she takes her two hour post-dinner "shower."

How about you? Please do share.

Thanks.
Thats not bad at all. Thats just funny. :)

stevieray
12-26-2007, 01:45 PM
Anybody think it's weird that Donger knows his MIL's bathing schedule?

I think he's got the hots for her and is easing his guilt for watching her shower..

MILK, my azz.

Frazod
12-26-2007, 01:55 PM
I married her daughter.

I'm lucky, my inlaws are good folks.
Same here. And it's a good thing I get along with my MIL, because I have no doubt she'll live FOREVER. Her mother is in her mid-90s, is completely self-reliant and in perfect health, and only recently stopped bowling and driving. Hell, she might outlive me.

The person who would have had the MIL from hell is my wife, but she gets a pass because my mom's been dead for 25 years. My mom would have tormented the crap out of her.

Braincase
12-26-2007, 01:57 PM
Never really got to know either of my in-laws. MIL was older, had been in a severe car accident in her 50's (one other family member killed in the accident) and it crippled her up, and advanced her mental health problems (dementia). FIL had multiple strokes by the time I met my wife, and he couldn't speak. The only real thing they conveyed was their blessing, when my MIL had about 15 minutes of clarity after we got engaged. To be honest, those 15 minutes were an absolute miracle - I'm talkin' Twilight Zone type stuff.

Donger
12-26-2007, 02:12 PM
I think he's got the hots for her and is easing his guilt for watching her shower..

MILK, my azz.

That is an emotion that I unfortunately do not possess. Although, she is pretty hot for a 60+ year old.

Frazod
12-26-2007, 02:22 PM
That is an emotion that I unfortunately do not possess. Although, she is pretty hot for a 60+ year old.

:spock:

Donger
12-26-2007, 02:24 PM
:spock:

What? She is. She looks a lot like Sophia Loren.

Frazod
12-26-2007, 02:29 PM
What? She is. She looks a lot like Sophia Loren.

Still, to say it.... dude, that's just wrong.

stevieray
12-26-2007, 02:30 PM
That is an emotion that I unfortunately do not possess. Although, she is pretty hot for a 60+ year old.

the guilt?

Donger
12-26-2007, 02:30 PM
Still, to say it.... dude, that's just wrong.

It's just a fact. Don't worry; I'm not going to try and get in her knickers or anything.

Donger
12-26-2007, 02:31 PM
the guilt?

Correct.

El Jefe
12-26-2007, 02:57 PM
It's just a fact. Don't worry; I'm not going to try and get in her knickers or anything.


Knickers, LMAO.

Frazod
12-26-2007, 02:59 PM
It's just a fact. Don't worry; I'm not going to try and get in her knickers or anything.

Heh. Sometimes I forget you're English, then you post something like that.

For the remainder of the day, I'll read all of your posts hearing the GEICO lizard's voice in my head. :D

Donger
12-26-2007, 03:02 PM
Heh. Sometimes I forget you're English, then you post something like that.

For the remainder of the day, I'll read all of your posts hearing the GEICO lizard's voice in my head. :D

Sorry about that. I spent a few hours with my folks yesterday and I tend to revert when I'm around them. My kids think it's hilarious. When my accent is on, however, I don't sound like that gecko.

seclark
12-26-2007, 03:02 PM
i think i get along w/my mil pretty well...the old bat gets under my wifes skin worse than she does mine.
sec

Chief Henry
12-26-2007, 03:17 PM
My parents in law are pretty cool. I get along with them fairly well....(so far)

Count Alex's Losses
12-26-2007, 03:19 PM
You should seriously lay the law down with your mother in law. Tell that there's no reason for her to occupy the goddamn shower for two hours.

OnTheWarpath58
12-26-2007, 03:24 PM
You should seriously lay the law down with your mother in law. Tell that there's no reason for her to occupy the goddamn shower for two hours.

Unless she drowns.

Donger
12-26-2007, 03:29 PM
You should seriously lay the law down with your mother in law. Tell that there's no reason for her to occupy the goddamn shower for two hours.

Meh. I pick my battles with her. I did turn up the water heaters to maximum temperature earlier, so I might be responsible for scalding her later. Or, perhaps she's correct, and they just "have something wrong with them" and they got really hot all by themselves.

Count Alex's Losses
12-26-2007, 03:30 PM
I'd put a ****ing timer on the things. No longer than 45 goddamn minutes.

Donger
12-26-2007, 03:32 PM
I'd put a ****ing timer on the things. No longer than 45 goddamn minutes.

I was joking with my FiL that I thought I could hear a vibrator going last night while she was in there. My wife almost had a coronary.

JohninGpt
12-26-2007, 03:32 PM
I'd put a ****ing timer on the things. No longer than 45 goddamn minutes.
I'd fill the shower head with blue dye, like in "Private Benjamin".

Count Alex's Losses
12-26-2007, 03:38 PM
My wife almost had a coronary.

Where are those pictures of your wife you promised me?

Donger
12-26-2007, 03:39 PM
Where are those pictures of your wife you promised me?

I don't recall making any such promise.

Count Alex's Losses
12-26-2007, 03:43 PM
I don't recall making any such promise.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showpost.php?p=4469708&postcount=21

Donger
12-26-2007, 03:46 PM
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showpost.php?p=4469708&postcount=21

Oh yeah. What do you want to see?

Count Alex's Losses
12-26-2007, 03:47 PM
Oh yeah. What do you want to see?

Your wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife.

Donger
12-26-2007, 03:47 PM
Your wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife.

You've already seen a picture of her.

Count Alex's Losses
12-26-2007, 03:48 PM
You've already seen a picture of her.

http://img177.imageshack.us/img177/2039/morebw3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

Donger
12-26-2007, 03:52 PM
http://img177.imageshack.us/img177/2039/morebw3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

I'll see if I can find an appropriate picture. What do you offer in trade?

Count Alex's Losses
12-26-2007, 03:53 PM
I'll see if I can find an appropriate picture. What do you offer in trade?

Buckets of sperm.

Donger
12-26-2007, 03:56 PM
Buckets of sperm.

I'm somewhat of a quality over quantity chap, so I'm afraid I must refuse your tender.

jidar
12-26-2007, 03:58 PM
lol.
Awesome thread. A++
would read again

Frazod
12-26-2007, 04:30 PM
Sorry about that. I spent a few hours with my folks yesterday and I tend to revert when I'm around them. My kids think it's hilarious. When my accent is on, however, I don't sound like that gecko.

I'm the same way when I'm around my family; except instead of sounding English, I sound like a redneck. :D

BigVE
12-26-2007, 05:50 PM
My relationship with my MIL is pretty good...I've only had to spend about 15 minutes around her in the past year and a half so things are cool. :) My wifey isn't so happy with the (non)visiting arrangements though. I don't hate my MIL, I just like her more when I don't see her or talk to her.

DBO82
12-26-2007, 05:51 PM
Your mother in law or my mother in law?

Extra Point
12-26-2007, 06:06 PM
The worst thing most of us did to our MIL's is marry their daughters. Somehow, that's worth the Hell we've paid. Just wait, until we become the in-laws that are outlaws.

PatPatriot
12-26-2007, 06:09 PM
You people need to learn the fine art of Fake Sleeping...

BigVE
12-26-2007, 06:14 PM
You people need to learn the fine art of Fake Sleeping...

Generally speaking, whenever I threaten to put my MIL to sleep it's not INTENDED to be "fake" sleep. ;)

Donger
12-26-2007, 10:05 PM
Hahhahaha! "You are an evil, EVIL young man!!!"

Turning up the water temperature = $0.00 (sort of)
Six white, non-blind mice = $3.99
MiL calling me the anti-Christ = well, you know

Dave Lane
12-26-2007, 10:15 PM
Awesome!

Cartman
12-26-2007, 10:53 PM
I once posted pics of homo hippie Jews fudge-packing from "MySpace" accounts on a Neo-Nazi web site, and....alas...I included real names and addresses. Please, forgive me Jesus.

Buck
12-26-2007, 10:57 PM
Ummmmm....Donger, WTF?

BigRedChief
12-26-2007, 10:59 PM
I once posted pics of homo hippie Jews fudge-packing from "MySpace" accounts on a Neo-Nazi web site, and....alas...I included real names and addresses. Please, forgive me Jesus.
KCJohnny is going to hit the roof.

Cartman
12-26-2007, 10:59 PM
Buckets of sperm.


"Oh, gee whiz, I'm not.. uhwatchin' television, Dad, I'm just... layin' around jackin' it."

el borracho
12-26-2007, 11:16 PM
Nothing- moms love me!/ Redrum 69

barry_smilez20
12-27-2007, 12:34 AM
started cheering for the lions

ClevelandBronco
12-27-2007, 02:28 AM
The worst thing I've ever done to my mother-in-law?

I've tried never to do anything to her except to try to treat her as I do my own mother. My MIL is a rare gem and her own family has handed her more meaningless crap to deal with than she ever deserved.

I don't know. Maybe she deserved it because she never found a way to tell them, "That's you're own meaningless crap. It's not mine. Deal with it yourself and quit bothering me with it."

Anyway, we'll be driving the family 700 miles to see her and the rest of the family tomorrow. It'll be good to get there and help her out.

Sorry, Donger. You should have gotten someone like my MIL.

Thig Lyfe
12-27-2007, 03:28 AM
That is an emotion that I unfortunately do not possess. Although, she is pretty hot for a 60+ year old.

So she's a MILILF?

Skip Towne
12-27-2007, 06:17 AM
I hope you thought to get both male and female mice. You can scare her for a looong time.