At what age...

[el borracho]

do little girls become graceful? My niece (12 years old) is visiting and she is grossing me out everytime she eats. Lip-smacking, crunching and grunting, labored breathing- it's like listening to a Rottweiler eat a whole chicken. Is this normal or should she be more aware of table etiquette by age 12?

[BigMeatballDave]

How do her folks eat?

[blueballs]

I got a chubby

[el borracho]

How do her folks eat?
Never really noticed, which (I think) would imply "normal."

[Frosty]

My sister-in-law is 43 and still eats that way. It is up to the parents to teach them.

[el borracho]

I got a chubby
You should be in jail.

[blueballs]

You should be in jail.

or she should be 21

[BigMeatballDave]

Never really noticed, which (I think) would imply "normal."My 9 yr old son eats 'normal'. Seems your brother/sister should work with her on this.

[morphius]

just ask her to please chew with her mouth closed, sometimes youngster's need reminding...

[StcChief]

I got a chubbyyour a freakin sicko.

[Phobia]

It doesn't have anything to do with your pig niece. My 4 yo daughter doesn't do that but it has taken 4 years of friendly but firm reminders. Apparently Miss Piggy's parents got lazy.

[Demonpenz]

I needed reminding all throughout my life. one time during a lunch meating I crunched up crackers to put in my chili got some chilli on my hands and tried to whipe it off on my jeans some how it got on my hair and tie

[el borracho]

Well, I don't speak with my sister often enough to give parenting tips and I don't see my niece often enough to do any parenting myself (they live in another state). Really, I'm more surprised than concerned. I mean it doesn't really hurt her any if she lacks etiquette. Hopefully, her gross eating habits may scare off the boys for a few extra years.

[el borracho]

It doesn't have anything to do with your pig niece. My 4 yo daughter doesn't do that but it has taken 4 years of friendly but firm reminders. Apparently Miss Piggy's parents got lazy.
Probably is laziness, although my niece isn't necessarily a pig (she is very thin), asks politely for things she wants and waits to be excused from the table. It's like she just completely lacks awareness of the noise or is completely unconcerned with it. Honestly, when I first heard it I thought she was doing it on purpose to get a reaction but I see now that isn't the case. Weird.

[el borracho]

I needed reminding all throughout my life. one time during a lunch meating I crunched up "The Man"s to put in my chili got some chilli on my hands and tried to whipe it off on my jeans some how it got on my hair and tie
ROFL That must have been a sight!

[El Jefe]

It's the parents responsibility to teach their children manners. My 6 yo niece eats better than that.

[Fly O.T. McWall]

My sister-in-law is 43 and still eats that way. It is up to the parents to teach them.
qft

it's also a remote possibilty, but does she breath with her mouth open? if she can't get enough air, she may have a deviated septum. makes breathing difficutl through the nose sometimes, which obviously makes it difficult to breath while eating.

[Mr. Laz]

do little girls become graceful? My niece (12 years old) is visiting and she is grossing me out everytime she eats. Lip-smacking, crunching and grunting, labored breathing- it's like listening to a Rottweiler eat a whole chicken. Is this normal or should she be more aware of table etiquette by age 12?
you're not talking graceful, you're talking polite and etiquette.


graceful takes awhile because alot of girls grow different then guys.


polite and etiquette is learned ....... it might never happen.

[Joie]

I think etiquette is learned primarily by example. However, it's alot easier when the little girl wants to be a "lady". When I was little I wanted to be a lady, so I actually read Emily Post's book. Now I hope I lead by example, but sometimes kids do need to be reminded that dinner isn't a race. The best advice I can give is to encourage her to take smaller bites so that she enjoys the meal more.

[el borracho]

qft

it's also a remote possibilty, but does she breath with her mouth open? if she can't get enough air, she may have a deviated septum. makes breathing difficutl through the nose sometimes, which obviously makes it difficult to breath while eating.
Never thought of that and, obviously, never noticed but I'll look into it.

[el borracho]

you're not talking graceful, you're talking polite and etiquette.


graceful takes awhile because alot of girls grow different then guys.


polite and etiquette is learned ....... it might never happen.
Yes, sorry, I meant etiquette.

[Mr. Laz]

Yes, sorry, I meant etiquette.
as soon as somebody teaches or shows her, i would imagine.

[el borracho]

as soon as somebody teaches or shows her, i would imagine.
So, if by age 12 it hasn't happend, we can assume it won't happen at home I would still have imagined her peers would influence her. If most 12 year olds are aware of this wouldn't they make her aware and wouldn't she adapt her behavior to fit in?

[Phobia]

So, if by age 12 it hasn't happend, we can assume it won't happen at home I would still have imagined her peers would influence her. If most 12 year olds are aware of this wouldn't they make her aware and wouldn't she adapt her behavior to fit in?
Doubtful. Generally, they'll ostracize and talk about her behind her back - unless she has a true, well-grounded friend.

[xbarretx]

So, if by age 12 it hasn't happend, we can assume it won't happen at home I would still have imagined her peers would influence her. If most 12 year olds are aware of this wouldn't they make her aware and wouldn't she adapt her behavior to fit in?

maybe they tought her to eat that way like in christmas story. that way she eats her Red Cabbage?

seriously though, maybe the parents dont see it as annoying or a bad habit?

[Mr. Laz]

So, if by age 12 it hasn't happend, we can assume it won't happen at home I would still have imagined her peers would influence her. If most 12 year olds are aware of this wouldn't they make her aware and wouldn't she adapt her behavior to fit in?
yes, she'll probably have to learn the hard way by getting made fun of



although i still eat waaaaaaaaay too fast ... our school lunch hour was too short and so i had to learn how to "inhale". Then the same thing happened at work when you're too busy.

:shrug:

[kepp]

So, if by age 12 it hasn't happend, we can assume it won't happen at home I would still have imagined her peers would influence her. If most 12 year olds are aware of this wouldn't they make her aware and wouldn't she adapt her behavior to fit in?
So, basically, her fan base needs to be rebuilt.

[el borracho]

Doubtful. Generally, they'll ostracize and talk about her behind her back - unless she has a true, well-grounded friend.
Damn. I had not thought of that. Maybe it is a legit concern, after all. It's one thing if it just keeps the boys away but quite another if she ends up getting ridiculed by her schoolmates.

[el borracho]

So, basically, her fan base needs to be rebuilt.
All our base belong to rebuilt... Get over it.

[Joie]

So, if by age 12 it hasn't happend, we can assume it won't happen at home I would still have imagined her peers would influence her. If most 12 year olds are aware of this wouldn't they make her aware and wouldn't she adapt her behavior to fit in?
I don't know any 12 year olds that would politely walk up to a peer and say, "I think you need to work on your etiquette". She may not be aware of her own behavior and it's the responsibility of the adults in her life to encourage her to eat in a ladylike manner.

[el borracho]

I don't know any 12 year olds that would politely walk up to a peer and say, "I think you need to work on your etiquette". She may not be aware of her own behavior and it's the responsibility of the adults in her life to encourage her to eat in a ladylike manner.
I guess I imagined some good humored teasing from friends but I didn't consider the other scenario that Phobia mentioned which would be catty, mean-spirited gossip that she wouldn't even know about. Mild teasing is no big deal- everyone gets teased about something at some time but the potential for ridicule and alienation is a legit concern. I'll have to speak with her and/ or her mom about it because it really is noticable.

[bowener]

yes, she'll probably have to learn the hard way by getting made fun of



although i still eat waaaaaaaaay too fast ... our school lunch hour was too short and so i had to learn how to "inhale". Then the same thing happened at work when you're too busy.

:shrug:

Yeah that sucks. In high school we had 20 minutes to eat between the bells... i have eaten like a speed freak since then.

[Lzen]

Perhaps this guy would be interested in dating her?

http://www.exeter.gov.uk/autumnfestival/media/imagefestival/s/8/S2_CG_CHAR_Shrek_01_cmyk_1_image.jpg

[Skip Towne]

I always breathe through my nose so I can talk whilst I eat - Ernest T Bass

[Joie]

I guess I imagined some good humored teasing from friends but I didn't consider the other scenario that Phobia mentioned which would be catty, mean-spirited gossip that she wouldn't even know about. Mild teasing is no big deal- everyone gets teased about something at some time but the potential for ridicule and alienation is a legit concern. I'll have to speak with her and/ or her mom about it because it really is noticable.
For her sake, I think that's the best idea. Kids can be really, really cruel. Will she be with you long enough to work on her etiquette at every meal?

Please remember that it's tough to be a 12 year old girl and be gentle. Perhaps at your next meal (if it's relatively private, not in front of siblings or anyone that would make fun of her), gently encourage her to put her napkin in her lap, take small bites, eat with her mouth closed and wait until she swallows her food before speaking. Do you have an adult female in your home that can lead by example? If so, put her across the table from this individual and she'll almost certainly notice the way the adult eats. (I say this from experience because I was across the table from my 12 year old stepdaughter and she asked her dad why I was eating my appetizer with a fork)

[el borracho]

I will probably ask her grandmother to help since I know virtually nothing about kids.

[Skip Towne]

I will probably ask her grandmother to help since I know virtually nothing about kids.
That's a really good idea. Someone needs to teach the girl and I am sure she will appreciate it down the road.