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View Full Version : Happy Birthday Zachary... I miss you


Chiefs_Mike_Topeka
01-03-2008, 11:20 PM
It was one year ago today that you brightened my life and brought boundless joy to me, your mother and sister.

I would give anything to be able to celebrate your birthday with you here; to have you taken from me just over 6mos. ago still is as raw as the first day. You have been gone from us longer than you were alive, just thinking about that makes my stomach turn and my heart ache more. I miss you more than words can describe.

Happy Birthday Zachary; I am sorry I failed you and did not protect you.

Please look out for your mother and sister, they need it.

I Love You Little Man.

Silock
01-03-2008, 11:24 PM
R.I.P.

Buck
01-03-2008, 11:25 PM
Happy Birthday buddy.

Chiefs_Mike_Topeka
01-03-2008, 11:25 PM
My beautiful boy.......

Phobia
01-03-2008, 11:26 PM
Hang in there, bud. Happy Birthday Zachary.

I'll bet if he could voice his birthday wish he'd want nothing more than his father to be relieved of his guilt. I'm sure his father is the only person on earth who feels he's responsible. Be well, Mike. I hope you find some peace. Have you discovered any support groups for surviving parents? I can sympathize with you but I'm incapable of empathy because I've not had that experience, thank God. We'll throw some prayers up for your family.

Mr. Flopnuts
01-03-2008, 11:31 PM
I really don't know what to say Mike. It's unfathomable to me. I heard the story though, dude, it wasn't your fault. RIP Zach.

smittysbar
01-03-2008, 11:32 PM
Happy Birthday Zachary


Hang in there Mike

cdcox
01-03-2008, 11:39 PM
Hang in there, Mike. I pray that someday you will be able to remember to good times with your son without feeling the anger, pain, and guilt. God bless you and your family.

Dave Lane
01-03-2008, 11:50 PM
Damn thats just sad. We all have our time he just got a headstart. Remember the love and let the rest go...

Dave

Ari Chi3fs
01-04-2008, 12:34 AM
Mike, God bless you and your family, bro. Remember the gleam in his eyes, and keep your heart full of the love for the little guy. You will be joined again, someday.

MadMax
01-04-2008, 12:47 AM
It was one year ago today that you brightened my life and brought boundless joy to me, your mother and sister.

I would give anything to be able to celebrate your birthday with you here; to have you taken from me just over 6mos. ago still is as raw as the first day. You have been gone from us longer than you were alive, just thinking about that makes my stomach turn and my heart ache more. I miss you more than words can describe.

Happy Birthday Zachary; I am sorry I failed you and did not protect you.

Please look out for your mother and sister, they need it.

I Love You Little Man.



God Bless little Zach and you and your family.. :'( He is looking down on all of you and is in a better place. I can't even imagine the pain bro.

Chiefs_Mike_Topeka
01-04-2008, 08:07 AM
Hang in there, bud. Happy Birthday Zachary.

I'll bet if he could voice his birthday wish he'd want nothing more than his father to be relieved of his guilt. I'm sure his father is the only person on earth who feels he's responsible. Be well, Mike. I hope you find some peace. Have you discovered any support groups for surviving parents? I can sympathize with you but I'm incapable of empathy because I've not had that experience, thank God. We'll throw some prayers up for your family.


There are a couple of groups that we attend meetings; does it help? Yes and no, just like anything else.

Thank you and everyone else for your sympathy; and I hope and wish no one ever has to go through this.

stevieray
01-04-2008, 08:21 AM
Thank you for posting that wonderful picture...

Here's to you Zachman...HBD....

Brianfo
01-04-2008, 08:21 AM
My thoughts and prayers to you and yours. I can't imagine your pain.

Pushead2
01-04-2008, 08:22 AM
Happy Birthday Zach, hang in there Mike....Peace and Love.

scott free
01-04-2008, 08:25 AM
Hang in there Mike, i hope you & your wife lean heavily on one another.

Please dont let your anguish get the best of you.

Chiefnj2
01-04-2008, 08:26 AM
Happy Birthday little guy.

Now I've got to wipe the tears from my eyes.

Mike, I doubt that you failed your son in any way.

mikeyis4dcats.
01-04-2008, 08:27 AM
Keep your head helld high Mike, Zach would want it that way. There was nothing you could have known to do differently, so don't burden yourself with that guilt....nothing positive can come of it. Love your family and wife and know that you were the best Dad you could be.

ROYC75
01-04-2008, 08:30 AM
Happy Birthday Lil Zachary........

Mike,May God Bless each and everyone of you that got to share lil Zachary life. We feel your pain, you have our thoughts and prayers today, same as 6 months ago. I pray that you find peace in months to come.Above all, don't beat yourself up for something that wasn't your fault, God's plan isn't for us all to understand during these trials when we are faced with at that time.

You are always welcome to PM me anytime and if needed, I can supply you with a phone # if you need a friend to talk to.

Take care my friend.

DBO82
01-04-2008, 09:20 AM
Happy birthday little man.

Keep on keeping on Mike.

crazycoffey
01-04-2008, 09:48 AM
HBD Zachary, peace and prayers to you Mike....

NewChief
01-04-2008, 09:53 AM
Thoughts and prayers your way, man.

If I remember correctly, you son died of SIDS. I know that it's no comfort to you, but you bear no guilt in your son's death. I pray that burden will be lifted from you one day, even though I know it's a cross a father will probably always bear.

Mr. Kotter
01-04-2008, 10:00 AM
Thoughts and prayers sent your way.

kepp
01-04-2008, 10:06 AM
Happy Birthday Zachary.

You've heard it 1000s of times, I know...but hang in there Mike. My prayers go out to you guys.

Chiefs_Mike_Topeka
01-04-2008, 12:16 PM
Thoughts and prayers your way, man.

If I remember correctly, you son died of SIDS. I know that it's no comfort to you, but you bear no guilt in your son's death. I pray that burden will be lifted from you one day, even though I know it's a cross a father will probably always bear.


My son did not die of SIDS; he died due to the negligence of his daycare provider. She left him on an adult bed unattended for several hours in which time he became wedged between the mattress and footboard and suffocated.

My guilt and failure stems from the fact that as his father I chose this woman to care to for my son and it obviously cost him his precious life. My number one responsibilty as his father was to protect him and always keep him safe; I failed him in the worse way in that regard.

Phobia
01-04-2008, 12:17 PM
Thoughts and prayers your way, man.

If I remember correctly, you son died of SIDS. I know that it's no comfort to you, but you bear no guilt in your son's death. I pray that burden will be lifted from you one day, even though I know it's a cross a father will probably always bear.

Initially thought to be SIDS and then discovered it was likely through sitter neglect. The child was left alone on a bed and fell into a crease then suffocated.

doomy3
01-04-2008, 12:20 PM
Hang in there Mike, and Happy Birthday Zachary

NewChief
01-04-2008, 12:30 PM
My son did not die of SIDS; he died due to the negligence of his daycare provider. She left him on an adult bed unattended for several hours in which time he became wedged between the mattress and footboard and suffocated.

My guilt and failure stems from the fact that as his father I chose this woman to care to for my son and it obviously cost him his precious life. My number one responsibilty as his father was to protect him and always keep him safe; I failed him in the worse way in that regard.

I'm so sorry, man. I know you've heard it a thousand times, and you probably get tired of hearing it, but try not to beat yourself up over it. You have enough to get through coping with the grief without carrying guilt around as well. The only person responsible is the provider. I'm on my second child right now (he's 3 months old), and there's not a night that goes by that I don't have momentary anxiety about SIDS or something bad happening to him while we're sleeping. I can only imagine the pain if that paranoia became reality.

cdcox
01-04-2008, 12:33 PM
My son did not die of SIDS; he died due to the negligence of his daycare provider. She left him on an adult bed unattended for several hours in which time he became wedged between the mattress and footboard and suffocated.

My guilt and failure stems from the fact that as his father I chose this woman to care to for my son and it obviously cost him his precious life. My number one responsibilty as his father was to protect him and always keep him safe; I failed him in the worse way in that regard.

Mike, clearly you are willing to accept responsibility for your part in this tragedy. I hope you someday will be able to accept forgiveness. You didn't act with malice or neglect. You made a decision with the best information you had at the time. Every parent makes thousands of those decisions during the course of raising your child. Many of those decisions have the potential to end the childs life. Most of us are so very fortunate to escape the tragedy that struck your family.

If my wife accidently served me contaminated food that ended my life, I would forgive her. If my daughter has a wreck while I am teaching her to drive, and it killed me, I would forgive her. Your son forgives you. Of that I am sure. And God forgives you, too.

Again praying for you, and still very sorry about your loss.

Chiefnj2
01-04-2008, 12:42 PM
Mike,
I can't imagine the pain you and your family has suffered. However, instead of beating yourself up focus on loving Zach's sister and mom. Wishing you the best.

Mr. Plow
01-04-2008, 12:48 PM
Mike,

Zachary knows how much you love and miss him. I'm sure he feels the same about you and the rest of your family.

Each time I think of your son, I start to cry. I can't imagine what you all have and still go through each day. To lose someone so young under the circumstances you did is a terrible tragedy. My wish is for you and your family to find peace in what has happened. I keep your family and little Zachary in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to do so.

Happy Birthday Zachary! You are missed greatly!

Kclee
01-04-2008, 12:50 PM
Happy Birthday little man.

FAX
01-04-2008, 12:58 PM
Mr. Chiefs_Mike_Topeka, I have no words that can adequately express my sympathy for you and your family. I am sincerely and authentically sorry for your loss.

I've hesitated to post this. Mainly because I'm unsure if you would listen to some anonymous person on a football board, but I'm going to give it a shot.

If you are not yet in counseling or therapy, you should consider it. Clearly, you are in a great deal of pain and you're taking responsibility for something over which you had no control or the ability to foresee. This is not healthy ... for you or your family. I urge you strongly to find a professional and get some help to work through your thoughts and feelings about the loss of your son. Believe me, were I in your situation, I would do so. There's no shame in it and it's critically important for you and for your family that you find a way to move on. If you wish, I would be more than happy to research some resources for you, but either way, you can and need to find a form of closure and it will happen sooner and with more positive results if you're working with a professional.

I have lost very dear and very close family members and I know how difficult it is. And, sometimes time alone doesn't provide sufficient healing. I wish you the best and my offer is sincere.

FAX

Nzoner
01-04-2008, 06:53 PM
HBD Zach and Mike I know we don't each other well but if you need anything just send me a smoke.I can say one thing for sure of the people I do know personally here it's like one big family so think of us as such and if you need anything just say.

God Bless

Joie
01-04-2008, 07:12 PM
Happy Birthday, Zachary


Mike,
I'm so sorry for the pain and loss your family has been through. I can understand feeling guilty, but you couldn't forsee the future. God and your son know that if you could have prevented Zachary's death you would have done everything you could.

My prayers to you, your wife and your daughter.

BigOlChiefsfan
01-04-2008, 07:54 PM
May God give you peace. I am so sorry for your loss.