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View Full Version : KC film critic named "Whore of the Year"


Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 10:09 AM
http://www.efilmcritic.com/feature.php?feature=2346

http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/images/users/198/ShawnEdwards.JPG

For years people who know and have worked with Shawn personally have been asking me when he was going to finally get his just dessert and win this award. Well, your prayers have been answered because Shawn truly earned this award in 2007. He’s been a top five whore for the last four years (The “Sloppy Seconds” winner in ’05) and Top Ten since Criticwatch’s inception. Proudly equating himself to Roger Ebert simply because his name appears (sometimes) in the same ads may be the most egregious of all of Shawn’s shameless quotes; some 30 or more in four of the last five years. He may work for a Fox affiliate, but only two of his quotes were good enough for them in 2007 (on I Think I Love My Wife & Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium.) No, the studio that loved him up the most was Sony and their various branches. Nearly a third of his quotes (10) went to Sony, including two for films that weren’t even screened for critics (Ghost Rider & Resident Evil: Extinction). He also gave it up for such screen gems like Stomp the Yard, Are We Done Yet? and P2. Warner Bros. was second on his list getting 6 quotes. Both Universal and The Weinstein Company got five each. Paramount/Dreamworks received 3 and New Line got one for Hairspray that’s arguably one of the 11 or 12 good films he got quoted for. Listing stats like that almost make it sound like we’re counting up Oscar nominations, which each quote must feel like to this preening, self-promoting egotistical hack. We know we aren’t done with this guy. He’ll be up for another 30 quotes in 2008 if the studios seek out his counsel. But with the news coming down about Pete Hammond, there is some proof that we shouldn’t give up hope. Revel in Shawn’s whoredom from 2007.

Scarlett Johansson is exceptional! (The Nanny Diaries)
Jane Fonda is exceptional. Lindsay Lohan’s performance is phenomenal. Felicity Huffman continues to prove her brilliance as one of today’s best actresses. (Georgia Rule)

Totally entertaining. (Surf’s Up)
Totally awesome! So much fun you’ll want to see it twice. (TMNT)
A delightful & totally fun fantasy! Smart, funny and imaginative! (Arthur and the Invisibles)
Steve Carell is hilarious, touching and completely engaging. (Evan Almighty)
A heartfelt, moving and touching film. (Georgia Rule)
It’s a soulful and heartwarming crowd-pleaser that will have you laughing, crying and cheering. (This Christmas)

Outrageously funny! (I Think I Love My Wife)
Hilarious! (Hairspray)
Hilarious. Brilliant. (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story)
**** Brilliant! (The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford) -
A must-see movie ****. (Freedom Writers)
An intelligent and intense thriller. (1408)
****. Stylish, sexy and riveting!...More intense and entertaining than The Departed! (We Own the Night)

An electrifying cinematic achievement! (American Gangster)
Terrifying and shocking! (Vacancy)
Razor-sharp! It will jolt you with its edginess & originality. (The Hunting Party)
Engaging and exhilarating. Brilliant! It’s a movie you won’t soon forget nor can you easily ignore. (The Kingdom)
Dynamic. Exhilarating. Exciting. Entertaining (I Am Legend)
A high-energy thrill ride! (Ghost Rider)

A modern-day masterpiece. (American Gangster)
An undeniable masterpiece! (Grindhouse)
One of the best movies of the year! (Hairspray)
One of the best films of the year! (American Gangster)
P2 does to parking garages what Psycho did to taking a shower and what Jaws did to swimming in the ocean. One of the scariest movies of the year! (P2)

Vacancy is one of the most suspenseful and truly frightening movies of the year. (Vacancy)
One of the funniest comedies of the year. (Fred Claus)
The funniest, craziest, wildest comedy of the year. (Are We Done Yet?)
- (2006) The wildest, funniest, most hilarious movie of the year. (Little Man)
- (2005) Outrageously funny! The craziest comedy of the year! (Waiting)
The most original film of the year. (Transformers)
The most delightful movie of the year! (No Reservations)
The most magical movie of the year! (Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium)
- (2006) The most magical film of the year. **** An instant classic. (Charlotte’s Web)
****…The most exciting movie of the year! (Resident Evil: Extinction)
The best movie of the year! (I Am Legend)

Wonderful! The surprise of the summer. (Georgia Rule)
The coolest movie of the summer. **** (Surf’s Up)
- (2006) Sexy. The coolest movie of the summer is one of the best of the year! (Miami Vice)
- (2005) The coolest movie of the year! (Be Cool)
- (2004) Refreshingly funny, super hip and the coolest flick you’ll see all year! DYN-O-MITE! (Starsky & Hutch)
One of the coolest movies you’ll ever see! (Stomp the Yard)
One of the most entertaining, exciting and intense movies ever made. (I Am Legend)

A perfect 10. (Surf’s Up)
- (2006) A family film that's perfect for everyone. It will have you laughing from beginning to end. (Are We There Yet?)
Perfect family entertainment. (Are We Done Yet?)
- (2006) Perfect family entertainment! (Nanny McPhee)
A heavenly comedy that’s perfect for the entire family! (Evan Almighty)
- (2005) This comedy is perfect for the entire family! (Kicking and Screaming)
An irresistibly charming comedy for the whole family! (Mr. Bean’s Holiday)

Those last four titles were all for Universal.
(2006) The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift - The best action movie of the year.
(2005) The Skeleton Key - Unlock the secret of the best thriller of the year. Totally creepy and intense.

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 10:10 AM
Nobody deserves it more.

:shake:

Bump
01-10-2008, 10:12 AM
well she doesn't seem hard to please

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 10:13 AM
well she doesn't seem hard to please
As someone who's worked with Shawn before... the guy's a joke. No one respects him. His partner of Fox 4 actually looks like he's embarrassed half the time.

'Hamas' Jenkins
01-10-2008, 10:14 AM
Is that skank on the left a Chiefs cheerleader?

Cochise
01-10-2008, 10:30 AM
the fast and the furious sequel, best action movie of the year. LMAO

Sure-Oz
01-10-2008, 10:32 AM
So the guy really is a WHORE or his reviews/quotes are super shitty?

btw-how the **** did this guy get to be a critic?? wonder how much it pays, i could do a better job drunk!

Wow re-reading these crack my ass up

Sure-Oz
01-10-2008, 10:41 AM
The most original film of the year. (Transformers)

lmfao

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 10:41 AM
So the guy really is a WHORE or his reviews/quotes are super shitty?

btw-how the **** did this guy get to be a critic?? wonder how much it pays, i could do a better job drunk!

Wow re-reading these crack my ass up
Basically, he will say anything to get his name on the ads.

For instance... I wrote a review for Underworld. My quote to the studio was, "It's like Blade meets The Matrix, but not as good as either."

They called me and said, "We want to use your quote." I said, "Wait... really? What do you have me saying?"

The ad rep said, "We want to use, 'Blade meets The Matrix'." I said, "No. If you want to use the entire quote, feel free, but you're obviously taking my comment out context and I'll not allow that."

They never called me again.

Shawn Edwards purposefully makes up quotes that will get him on national ad campaigns, even if the movie sucks.

Sure-Oz
01-10-2008, 10:50 AM
Basically, he will say anything to get his name on the ads.

For instance... I wrote a review for Underworld. My quote to the studio was, "It's like Blade meets The Matrix, but not as good as either."

They called me and said, "We want to use your quote." I said, "Wait... really? What do you have me saying?"

The ad rep said, "We want to use, 'Blade meets The Matrix'." I said, "No. If you want to use the entire quote, feel free, but you're obviously taking my comment out context and I'll not allow that."

They never called me again.

Shawn Edwards purposefully makes up quotes that will get him on national ad campaigns, even if the movie sucks.
Ridiculous, how much do they pay you for a quote anyway or do they?

That listing above was ridiculous, so i assume all those quotes on dvd boxes from peter hammond etc are just BS, and they whore themselves out just on the best quote even if the movie sucks baows.

"Lindsay Lohan’s performance is phenomenal." that disturbs me alot

Sure-Oz
01-10-2008, 10:55 AM
I love this shawn edwards quote regarding crossroads "Crossroads is a perfect teen dream. It has everything that makes a movie totally cool: laughs, adventure, spirit, hot music, drama and of course BRITNEY! Britney rocks! She is like a comet. A talent of her magnitude only comes around once in a lifetime and you can't take your eyes off her when she is on screen in this totally cool and delightfully hip movie."

lmfao what a ****ing tool

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 11:06 AM
Ridiculous, how much do they pay you for a quote anyway or do they?

That listing above was ridiculous, so i assume all those quotes on dvd boxes from peter hammond etc are just BS, and they whore themselves out just on the best quote even if the movie sucks baows.

"Lindsay Lohan’s performance is phenomenal." that disturbs me alot
I don't think they pay. I only got on one or two regional campaigns... I can't even remember for what. But I never saw a check.

Sure-Oz
01-10-2008, 11:14 AM
I don't think they pay. I only got on one or two regional campaigns... I can't even remember for what. But I never saw a check.
Pretty lame, id tell them to **** off too.

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 11:16 AM
Pretty lame, id tell them to **** off too.
Nah, I only got upset when they tried to take my comments out of context. The whole point of my comment was that Underworld was a rip-off of two superior movies. They obviously missed the point.

Sure-Oz
01-10-2008, 11:17 AM
Nah, I only got upset when they tried to take my comments out of context. The whole point of my comment was that Underworld was a rip-off of two superior movies. They obviously missed the point.
Gotcha, how do you get into reviewing or "good quoting" and doing stuff like that, sounds fun.

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 11:21 AM
Gotcha, how do you get into reviewing or "good quoting" and doing stuff like that, sounds fun.
I did it because I was employed as a writer/reporter/editor at a daily newspaper and have a degree in film production. I became the film and theater critic -- it was a first for the local paper (and the last, they couldn't find anyone they liked after me :D). Hell, I even had a few fans!

mikeyis4dcats.
01-10-2008, 11:25 AM
so am i to understand that they get paid for using the quotes?

ah, nevermind, you responded while I was reading another thread.

FAX
01-10-2008, 11:36 AM
No wonder the quotes are bad. They don't pay. If they want some decent quotes, they should shell out. I'll bet Mr. Phobia would give them a quote for say .... $4300.

FAX

kc rush
01-10-2008, 11:36 AM
My wife tries to change the channel when he comes on because she knows that he will set me off. One of my favorites is when he said that the Matrix films are the greatest movies in the history of film. I know that a lot of people like those movies, but the greatest in the history of film? Give me a break.

Even worse was when that Wayans Brothers movie Little Man came out he claimed that Shawn or Marlon (I don’t remember which one) gave an Oscar worthy performance in that movie. His partner gave him a WTF look and Shawn Edwards went on about how magical the acting was.

Frazod
01-10-2008, 11:37 AM
I don't think they pay. I only got on one or two regional campaigns... I can't even remember for what. But I never saw a check.

I assume they must pay the big name critics (Ebert, Reed, etc.). I actually recognize this guy's name from movie ads, although I never made the connection between him and KC. Maybe he does get his beak wet a bit at this point.

kc rush
01-10-2008, 11:37 AM
No wonder the quotes are bad. They don't pay. If they want some decent quotes, they should shell out. I'll bet Mr. Phobia would give them a quote for say .... $4300.

FAX

I thought that his going rate was $500

Sure-Oz
01-10-2008, 11:39 AM
I did it because I was employed as a writer/reporter/editor at a daily newspaper and have a degree in film production. I became the film and theater critic -- it was a first for the local paper (and the last, they couldn't find anyone they liked after me :D). Hell, I even had a few fans!
Very cool, i'll just stick to my scene it movie games cause i suck at writing haha.

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 11:41 AM
No wonder the quotes are bad. They don't pay. If they want some decent quotes, they should shell out. I'll bet Mr. Phobia would give them a quote for say .... $4300.

FAX
They didn't pay me... I can't vouch for anyone else. But I wasn't doing it for the money, either. That was the only part of my job at the newspaper I thoroughly enjoyed.

Demonpenz
01-10-2008, 11:45 AM
I worked for blockbuster for many years so i would see the stupid quotes on the boxes. the best was when a movie really stunk and they would have to use aint it cool news or some other places like that. The best was for battlefield earth it had one one quote on it and it was something like

the scene transitions were good.

thats the best quote it could get

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 11:47 AM
I worked for blockbuster for many years so i would see the stupid quotes on the boxes. the best was when a movie really stunk and they would have to use aint it cool news or some other places like that. The best was for battlefield earth it had one one quote on it and it was something like

the scene transitions were good.

thats the best quote it could get
My favorite quote of all time was about Battlefield Earth. "A cinematic vat of cheese."

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 11:48 AM
From a critic's point of view, Battlefield Earth got a lot of undeserved bad press.

Yes the movie was horrible. But some called it the worst movie of all time. I can think off the top of my head of a number of movies that were far worse.

FAX
01-10-2008, 11:49 AM
So, this probably wouldn't be the best place to mention that I liked Battlefield Earth?

FAX

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 11:51 AM
So, this probably wouldn't be the best place to mention that I liked Battlefield Earth?

FAX
Probably not.

But I own it. I watched it once right after Dick Tracy.

Sure-Oz
01-10-2008, 11:54 AM
Someone needs to review Dragon Wars for me haha....

IGN gave it a 9 overall i think cause it was THAT bad but had badass SE's

Bowser
01-10-2008, 11:55 AM
Probably not.

But I own it. I watched it once right after Dick Tracy.

LMAO

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 11:56 AM
LMAO
It's a compulsion.

I could stop any time I wanted.

Demonpenz
01-10-2008, 12:00 PM
I ment the best POSITIVE quote for battlefield earth obvouisly there were better negative quotes but the you know when your movie sucks the only quote on the box is talking about your scene transitions

Demonpenz
01-10-2008, 12:01 PM
Battlefied earth was like 2 hours of cutting my hand off with a circular saw while sipping antifreeze and making my wife fat

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 12:02 PM
I ment the best POSITIVE quote for battlefield earth obvouisly there were better negative quotes but the you know when your movie sucks the only quote on the box is talking about your scene transitions
Having read the book, I thought Barry Pepper was an excellent choice for Jonnie Goodboy Tyler.

Chiefmanwillcatch
01-10-2008, 12:02 PM
The guy looks like a douchebag too.

He works at a news channel and has ear rings.

I bet he got paid for those ass pumper reviews.

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 12:02 PM
Battlefied earth was like 2 hours of cutting my hand off with a circular saw while sipping antifreeze and Phobia making my wife fat
FYP

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 12:07 PM
The guy looks like a douchebag too.

He works at a news channel and has ear rings.

I bet he got paid for those ass pumper reviews.
He's not a "news" guy, though. He's a movie critic. That's all he does.

irishjayhawk
01-10-2008, 12:09 PM
Deserved it. But Ben Lyons for E! had the best line:

One of the greatest movies ever made! - I Am Legend

ROFL Consider that statement. ROFL

Sure-Oz
01-10-2008, 12:18 PM
Virus was a horrible movie, Virus, this is one that you'll wanna catch!!!!!!!!!!!!

L.A. Chieffan
01-10-2008, 12:28 PM
Anybody who listens to critics to determine whether or not to watch a movie is a tool in their own right.

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 12:36 PM
Anybody who listens to critics to determine whether or not to watch a movie is a tool in their own right.
Not true. You just have to find one you like and trust.

L.A. Chieffan
01-10-2008, 12:38 PM
Not true. You just have to find one you like and trust.

That's like saying that about a politician

Fire Me Boy!
01-10-2008, 12:45 PM
That's like saying that about a politician
No, it's not. You don't even have to agree with the critic you read. You just have to know what they like and what you like.

It's easy to find a critic you trust. You just have to read more than one newspaper until you find that person.

L.A. Chieffan
01-10-2008, 12:49 PM
No, it's not. You don't even have to agree with the critic you read. You just have to know what they like and what you like.

It's easy to find a critic you trust. You just have to read more than one newspaper until you find that person.

That's different than saying "look (typical schmuck critic), gave this (typical crappy movie) an A+. LET'S GO SEE IT!"

Sure-Oz
01-10-2008, 12:52 PM
Be Cool! The coolest movie of the year, where can i bitch slap this clown

Chiefmanwillcatch
01-10-2008, 01:46 PM
He's not a "news" guy, though. He's a movie critic. That's all he does.

When I first saw that guy during the local news , I was like what the hell.

It's still during the local news. The guy obviously hasn't been told that it doesn't look professional to have big diamond earrings like some dumbass rapper. Some pussy white boy never told him fearing an incident.

'Hamas' Jenkins
01-10-2008, 02:27 PM
When I first saw that guy during the local news , I was like what the hell.

It's still during the local news. The guy obviously hasn't been told that it doesn't look professional to have big diamond earrings like some dumbass rapper. Some pussy white boy never told him fearing an incident.
http://www.tradenote.net/images/users/000/022/571/products_images/Marlboro_Red___Lights.jpg

Chiefmanwillcatch
01-10-2008, 02:45 PM
Look Hamas is calling me a Nazi.

Cochise
01-10-2008, 02:59 PM
Look Hamas is calling me a Nazi.

Those are the Euro Marlboro Lights, with the brown filter.

Chiefmanwillcatch
01-10-2008, 03:00 PM
Ironic since he has a blackman banned on his avatar.

DJJasonp
01-10-2008, 03:11 PM
Be Cool! The coolest movie of the year, where can i bitch slap this clown

One of the worst films I've seen in a long time. That, and "Crank".

Deberg_1990
01-10-2008, 05:36 PM
Not true. You just have to find one you like and trust.

You ever read this guys reviews FMB?

I agree with him about 75% of the time and thats pretty good for me.

http://www.reelviews.net/movies.html

Thig Lyfe
01-10-2008, 05:53 PM
OF COURSE it's Shawn Edwards.

Thig Lyfe
01-10-2008, 05:54 PM
Anybody who listens to critics to determine whether or not to watch a movie is a tool in their own right.

So if a piece of shit like Good Luck Chuck gets 3% on Rotten Tomatoes, you should still waste your ten bucks on it so you're not a tool?

Marco Polo
01-10-2008, 08:28 PM
Is that skank on the left a Chiefs cheerleader?

Good observation Hamas. After four pages of posts on Chiefs Planet, I expected someone to respond to you. Yes, she's a Chiefs cheerleader. Pretty nice girl, actually. Shame she has the Whore of the Year as her company, apparently.

stevieray
01-10-2008, 08:34 PM
Good observation Hamas. After four pages of posts on Chiefs Planet, I expected someone to respond to you. Yes, she's a Chiefs cheerleader. Pretty nice girl, actually. Shame she has the Whore of the Year as her company, apparently.


True, I've sold papers on the Plaza with her..she is a very nice girl.

Chiefmanwillcatch
01-10-2008, 10:10 PM
That chick shouldn't be allowed to be a cheerleader.

BigRock
01-10-2008, 10:18 PM
It's funny reading his reviews and mistaking the star ratings for expletives.

"F*ckin' Brilliant! (The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford)"

"A must-see movie, bitch. (Freedom Writers)"

"SHIT! The most exciting movie of the year! (Resident Evil: Extinction)"

Mecca
01-10-2008, 10:38 PM
One of the worst films I've seen in a long time. That, and "Crank".

Crank has that line "they gave him the Beijing cocktail" which makes me laugh every time.

blaise
01-10-2008, 11:08 PM
I liked Crank. It wasn't the Godfather or anything, but it was pretty entertaining.