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View Full Version : Who has crazy family members?


Duck Dog
03-05-2008, 12:48 PM
By crazy, I mean full blown bat shit crazy. Pure disconnect from reality.

I learned some things about my wifes aunt this past week in Mexico that were funny stories to hear while drinking beer, but a little disturbing to think my kids could inherit the wayward gene. Or worse, my wife may already posses it and we just don't know it yet.

Anyway, picture this. 500 business owners and tech professionals at a yearly convention are chatting, eating and drinking next to the pool area at a hotel in Hawaii. When from no where a naked woman riding a broom like a horse starts galloping through the crowd. Sounds bad, right? I later learn that she has done it on cruise ships, downtown Minneapolis and even at the main office of the family business. And no. This thread is not worthless without pics. :shake:

When she was pregnant she thought she was pregnant with John Lennon's child through immaculate conception. :eek:

Sure-Oz
03-05-2008, 12:48 PM
I think my dad is bipolar sometimes

DBO82
03-05-2008, 12:50 PM
I have an aunt who used to be my uncle.

Sully
03-05-2008, 01:02 PM
My Mom (haven't talked to her in 4+ years)
While I was in grade school, she divorced my dad, and married a guy from outside the country to keep him in the US. She allowed him to move in his whole family into our 3 bedroom/ 1 bathroom house, and he moved in his 2 girlfriends, as well. My mom, I have always thought, tried to start her own relationship with the girlfriends in order to win his heart... didn't work.

When I was in Junior High, she attempted to kill herself when i didn't spend Christmas with her. The next day, when I went home, she told me about it all in graphic detail, and blamed me for it (I WAS IN JUNIOR HIGH!!!).

I disconnected from her during high school, and for several years after. When we finally began to have a relationship again, she attempted suicide 2 more times, blaming me ach time for it... at one point, after I took her to the hospital, she made the doctor come out and promise to spend the next few days with her for her well-being.


So...yeah... I've got a little bit of the crazy in my fam...

chagrin
03-05-2008, 01:04 PM
who doesn't?

ChiefsFire
03-05-2008, 01:04 PM
My Mom (haven't talked to her in 4+ years)
While I was in grade school, she divorced my dad, and married a guy from outside the country to keep him in the US. She allowed him to move in his whole family into our 3 bedroom/ 1 bathroom house, and he moved in his 2 girlfriends, as well. My mom, I have always thought, tried to start her own relationship with the girlfriends in order to win his heart... didn't work.

When I was in Junior High, she attempted to kill herself when i didn't spend Christmas with her. The next day, when I went home, she told me about it all in graphic detail, and blamed me for it (I WAS IN JUNIOR HIGH!!!).

I disconnected from her during high school, and for several years after. When we finally began to have a relationship again, she attempted suicide 2 more times, blaming me ach time for it... at one point, after I took her to the hospital, she made the doctor come out and promise to spend the next few days with her for her well-being.


So...yeah... I've got a little bit of the crazy in my fam...



Geez.....

Not exactly a Christmas Story holiday.

Sully
03-05-2008, 01:06 PM
Geez.....

Not exactly a Christmas Story holiday.

LOL

There's tons more. That's just a taste of the crazy.

ChiefsFire
03-05-2008, 01:10 PM
LOL

There's tons more. That's just a taste of the crazy.

That explains why you're a tiger fan.

Sorry...couldn't help it.:p

Adept Havelock
03-05-2008, 01:12 PM
Yes, but I'm even nuttier than they are, so it's OK.

Pestilence
03-05-2008, 01:21 PM
If you don't have any....does that mean that you are?

ChiefsFire
03-05-2008, 01:25 PM
If you don't have any....does that mean that you are?

Yes.

Nzoner
03-05-2008, 01:27 PM
Talk about crazy,in a way this is so wrong but then again I come from a family that would find this X-box joke hilarious.

<object height="392" width="464">
<embed src="http://embed.break.com/NDYxNjgw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="392" width="464"></object>
The Worst Parents In The World (http://www.break.com/index/the-meanest-parents-in-the-world.html?ref=track7) - Watch more free videos (http://www.break.com/)

BigMeatballDave
03-05-2008, 01:39 PM
I have a niece thats bi-polar. I think she may be a bit Schizophrenic.

StcChief
03-05-2008, 01:41 PM
All in-laws are crazy by default. :)

POND_OF_RED
03-05-2008, 01:51 PM
My Grandma sleeps in her bathtub for 3 days every time there is a tornado watch.

ROYC75
03-05-2008, 01:54 PM
I don't talk about them, it's safer not too.........

Baconeater
03-05-2008, 02:01 PM
I have a crazy aunt, she kinda just disappeared quite a few years ago abandoning her four children. Apparently she just drifts around, no one really knows where she is or what she's doing, although she did make an appearance in her hometown a couple years ago, my uncle saw her briefly and said she looked like "a bag lady".

Frosty
03-05-2008, 02:14 PM
My wife has a sister-in-law that could end up filling that role. Right now, she is in the sneaky, under-handed, selfish bitch stage but given time, I have no doubt she will get to the crazy stage.

sparkky
03-05-2008, 02:47 PM
I don't, but the rest of my family thinks THEY do.

sd4chiefs
03-05-2008, 03:04 PM
All in-laws are crazy by default. :)

My Father-in-law thinks Bush is a great President and my Mother-in-law is a vegetarian PETA nut. :(

Stewie
03-05-2008, 03:15 PM
My sister used to be normal but then Oprah and Dr. Phil came along. Now everyone is gay, a child molester, smoking crack, etc....

BigMeatballDave
03-05-2008, 03:22 PM
I have a crazy aunt, she kinda just disappeared quite a few years ago abandoning her four children. Apparently she just drifts around, no one really knows where she is or what she's doing, although she did make an appearance in her hometown a couple years ago, my uncle saw her briefly and said she looked like "a bag lady".Schizophrenia.

'Hamas' Jenkins
03-05-2008, 05:09 PM
My great aunt was a schizophrenic. I guess she had a psychotic break shortly after graduating from nursing school. One day, someone called my grandparents to come down to St. Louis. They found her in her apartment, which was flooded with water....

She had taken out every penny she had from the bank, rolled it up in a red rug, and put it in the bathtub, and then plugged the drain and just let the tub keep going.

She also jumped out of a window and broke her back. I heard that was a good time, too.

Bump
03-05-2008, 05:22 PM
Talk about crazy,in a way this is so wrong but then again I come from a family that would find this X-box joke hilarious.

<object height="392" width="464">
<embed src="http://embed.break.com/NDYxNjgw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="392" width="464"></object>
The Worst Parents In The World (http://www.break.com/index/the-meanest-parents-in-the-world.html?ref=track7) - Watch more free videos (http://www.break.com/)


damn, that's cold!

Pestilence
03-05-2008, 05:37 PM
My Father-in-law thinks Bush is a great President and my Mother-in-law is a vegetarian PETA nut. :(

How the hell are they still married?

damaticous
03-05-2008, 05:57 PM
I have a second cousin that is scizo. He was/is an avid bow and gun hunter. In the 80's during the Rambo times he thought he WAS Rambo and took his bow to the roof of his house and started shooting at cars passing by. Started shooting at the cops when they showed up.

Another time he thought he was JR Ewing (from the show Dallas) and thought his brother (who he thought was JR's brother on Dallas) was trying to kill him. So this cousin went over to his brother's house with a loaded handgun and was going to kill him...the cops caught him first.

My ex-wife's mother is Scizo. My ex had to go "shoo" away "spiders" that were crawling up her bedroom wall one night.

KcMizzou
03-05-2008, 06:02 PM
Talk about crazy,in a way this is so wrong but then again I come from a family that would find this X-box joke hilarious.

<object height="392" width="464">
<embed src="http://embed.break.com/NDYxNjgw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="392" width="464"></object>
The Worst Parents In The World (http://www.break.com/index/the-meanest-parents-in-the-world.html?ref=track7) - Watch more free videos (http://www.break.com/)That's just wrong. Poor kid.

Unless they gave him the 360 shortly after... then it's funny.

Hydrae
03-05-2008, 06:05 PM
Closest to full blown crazy is the story of one of my ancestors about 3 or 4 generations back. The story is that she killed her 2 kids and when they found her, she was cooking them in the oven. :eek:

siberian khatru
03-05-2008, 06:08 PM
Closest to full blown crazy is the story of one of my ancestors about 3 or 4 generations back. The story is that she killed her 2 kids and when they found her, she was cooking them in the oven. :eek:

You're related to a Grimm's fairy tale?

Skip Towne
03-05-2008, 06:23 PM
I am now suspicious of all of you.

Frazod
03-05-2008, 06:36 PM
My mom's side of the family had it all - from batshit raving lunatics to drunks to dimwits, with a few normal people thrown in here and there, or at least those of us who have risen above our genetic madness, at least for the most part. Bickering and bitching was the order of the day for pretty much all family gatherings. The people on my dad's side of the family are sane, but tend to be hateful, selfish, gossipy and generally unpleasant. I only keep in regular touch with three blood relatives at this point - the rest are either dead, or suck, or are people that I just never got close to. My wife has no idea how lucky she is that only has to do deal with those three. And I never cease to be amazed by how nice, normal and supportive her family is. I've kind of gotten used to it after 10 years, but it's a hell of a change from what I grew up with.

Sully
03-06-2008, 03:53 PM
Talk about crazy,in a way this is so wrong but then again I come from a family that would find this X-box joke hilarious.

<object height="392" width="464">
<embed src="http://embed.break.com/NDYxNjgw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="392" width="464"></object>
The Worst Parents In The World (http://www.break.com/index/the-meanest-parents-in-the-world.html?ref=track7) - Watch more free videos (http://www.break.com/)

I just want to come out way ahead of time and say that when this kid goes on a murdering rampage... it isn't his fault.

Cochise
03-06-2008, 04:06 PM
Not all that 'crazy' but one of my cousins is in federal prison right now for fraud, I think the charge was. What happened was this criminal mastermind was working at a local business as the bookkeeper, and began skimming in the form of simply taking a whole page of checks or taking checks and just writing "void" in the check register - checks which were transported across state lines and made into cash, used to buy electronics, or pay personal bills.

Shockingly, this great criminal enterprise was brought down by intrepid law enforcement officials. Apparently this small, family owned enterprise had noticed that a six-figure amount of money was missing.

I'm not sure sending the perp to prison is going to do anything though. You can't fix stupid.

Extra Point
03-06-2008, 10:50 PM
Closest to full blown crazy is the story of one of my ancestors about 3 or 4 generations back. The story is that she killed her 2 kids and when they found her, she was cooking them in the oven. :eek:


Too much reading Jonathan Swift. 5 gens ago, one of the ancestors bought his own farm. Insanity skips a generation, so I think out of the 3, it's my sis or me.

Valiant
03-06-2008, 11:55 PM
That's just wrong. Poor kid.

Unless they gave him the 360 shortly after... then it's funny.

I guess the story is the kid was peeking in on the presents and he knew he was getting a 360 or thought he was.. So the parents did this to him instead and then later gave him the 360.. Of course that is the story, still waiting on a video to confirm it..

Claynus
03-07-2008, 12:05 AM
Well, let's see.

My parents (2) are Jehovah's Witnesses.

My grandparents (4) are Jehovah's Witnesses.

My uncles (2) and aunts (2) are Jehovah's Witnesses.

My cousins (4) are Jehovah's Witnesses.

My sister just converted to Episcopalian.

I'm fortunate to not be in a mental institution.

BigRock
03-07-2008, 12:24 AM
I just want to come out way ahead of time and say that when this kid goes on a murdering rampage... it isn't his fault.
Neighbor: "He was always such a sweet boy. I have no idea what could have made him hack his mom's fat ass to pieces and stuff her down the garbage disposal."

Bowser
03-07-2008, 12:14 PM
If I didn't have to go to work and had the time, I would absolutely obliterate this thread.

Fruit Ninja
03-07-2008, 12:23 PM
I a Mexican and my family originated out of L.A. Nuff said. lol

Duck Dog
03-07-2008, 12:54 PM
Talk about crazy,in a way this is so wrong but then again I come from a family that would find this X-box joke hilarious.

<object height="392" width="464">
<embed src="http://embed.break.com/NDYxNjgw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="392" width="464"></object>
The Worst Parents In The World (http://www.break.com/index/the-meanest-parents-in-the-world.html?ref=track7) - Watch more free videos (http://www.break.com/)

Good Lord, what's wrong with his mother? Can't afford an XBox, but had money to spend on that camera and food for her fat ass.

Dartgod
03-07-2008, 02:09 PM
My Grandma sleeps in her bathtub for 3 days every time there is a tornado watch.
Are you related to Katie Horner?

DaneMcCloud
03-07-2008, 04:16 PM
Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy... the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical... summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds... pretty standard, really.

At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

ROYC75
03-07-2008, 07:08 PM
Me, but I'm not talking about it, it's safer that way.

MTG#10
03-07-2008, 09:02 PM
My family is fairly normal but my in-laws are all crazy Jehovah's Witnesses.

blueballs
03-08-2008, 12:41 AM
I never get to see may family enough to know
someday I hope to fly to Saturn's second ring and visit
my earth mother is too hot to leave right now

Claynus
03-08-2008, 01:10 AM
My family is fairly normal but my in-laws are all crazy Jehovah's Witnesses.

Awesome, dude. I probably know some of them. My cousin lives in Springfield and attends the local congregation. What's your wife's maiden name?