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a1na2
03-20-2008, 08:29 PM
Three Things to Ponder:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

C O W S

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq . Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we are not using it anymore.

T H E 1 0 C O M M A N D M E N T S

The real reason that we cannot have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery," and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians..It creates a hostile work environment

Halfcan
03-20-2008, 08:34 PM
Cars and Cel phones-Do people really think that traffic and other drivers that are actually paying attention to what they are supposed to be doing-will magically get out of their way because they are busy texting LOL good1 to some other idiot.

a1na2
03-20-2008, 08:50 PM
Cars and Cel phones-Do people really think that traffic and other drivers that are actually paying attention to what they are supposed to be doing-will magically get out of their way because they are busy texting LOL good1 to some other idiot.

You have no ability to see humor.
If you don't like it just let it go.
Everything with you needs to be a pissing contest.
On this one you just pissed your pants and made your momma mad.

Braincase
03-20-2008, 09:09 PM
I laughed.

Halfcan
03-20-2008, 09:32 PM
You have no ability to see humor.
If you don't like it just let it go.
Everything with you needs to be a pissing contest.
On this one you just pissed your pants and made your momma mad.

I was just saying-after I saw a lady run a red light today and almost get smashed by semi trucks coming from oposite directions-and she was really oblivious to what was going on. She just smiled and kept texting-must of thought the 50 cars were honking at someone else. :rolleyes:

Halfcan
03-20-2008, 09:34 PM
Where oh where are the cops when you need them??

Seems there are plenty on the news every night- "Continueing their Investigation" on some petty nothing crime. But when some dumb bitch runs a light and almost causes serious injury to others because she is on her cel phone-None to be found.

Demonpenz
03-20-2008, 09:35 PM
I can spit at my chew without hitting a mexican anymore, and those god damn commies think they are going to take away my gun I don't think so. I drink coors and I ain't going changed for you or no one. GOT IT BUB!

Sully
03-20-2008, 09:35 PM
I was just saying-after I saw a lady run a red light today and almost get smashed by semi trucks coming from oposite directions-and she was really oblivious to what was going on. She just smiled and kept texting-must of thought the 50 cars were honking at someone else. :rolleyes:

You know what pisses me off?
When you are pulling up to a 4-way stop, and there is a car going the other way (to your left or right) and they feel they have to wait for you to stop before they can go. They completed their stop 10 seconds ago, but for some reason they think the rule is that they can't go until you stop. Ponder that, as well.

Demonpenz
03-20-2008, 09:41 PM
You know what pisses me off?
When you are pulling up to a 4-way stop, and there is a car going the other way (to your left or right) and they feel they have to wait for you to stop before they can go. They completed their stop 10 seconds ago, but for some reason they think the rule is that they can't go until you stop. Ponder that, as well.



Why pull out. I guess working in claims does this too me, but I never assume the other person knows they have a stop sign, i have seen to many people slow down because they are entering an intersection, but they don't realize they have a stop sign.

Demonpenz
03-20-2008, 09:41 PM
Why pull out. I guess working in claims does this too me, but I never assume the other person knows they have a stop sign, i have seen to many people slow down because they are entering an intersection, but they don't realize they have a stop sign.



you said pull out

Halfcan
03-20-2008, 09:44 PM
Today I pondered- why this 350 pound gorilla decided not to wash his hands after cramming a monster shit down the plumbing at the Home Depot today?

I mean-at least run a bit of water over those mits-even IF you can't get the damm automatic faucets to give you any water. Don't even think about getting your hands dry under the "new" enviromentally helpful dryers that run for 5 seconds.

Halfcan
03-20-2008, 09:45 PM
Why pull out. I guess working in claims does this too me, but I never assume the other person knows they have a stop sign, i have seen to many people slow down because they are entering an intersection, but they don't realize they have a stop sign.

Why because they are on their Fuggin cel phone??? :cuss:

Sully
03-20-2008, 09:48 PM
My wife and I finished redoing our bathroom today. She went and bought a new towel rack. The packaging for that thing was ridiculous. I mean, why did it need that many zip lines? Why did they need to be so tight that you couldn't fit a knife under them, thereby forcing you to scratch the finish as you scraped it?
It's not like it's a bottle of arsenic, it's a fuggin towel holder.

Boon
03-20-2008, 09:51 PM
Guys drink much?

Halfcan
03-20-2008, 09:58 PM
Guys drink much?

Not nearly enough or often enough.

2 days without a smoke though. :eek:

Rain Man
03-20-2008, 09:59 PM
Is it just a coincidence that there are ten commandments? What did the original draft look like? Were there 15 or 20? Did they cut it down to 11, and God thought, y'know, this is a whole lot more marketable with a round number, and so he cut out the one that said, "Thou Shalt Not Play Music Loud Enough To Annoy Thy Neighbors"?

Boon
03-20-2008, 10:15 PM
Not nearly enough or often enough.

2 days without a smoke though. :eek:

I've been there. It's a bitch. A year and a half for me.
Still want one every day. Drink way to much coffee now.
Worth it though.....Hang tough Mr Halfcan

a1na2
03-21-2008, 04:14 AM
Guys drink much?

I'm sure they only do when their keeper will take the safety lids off their beer.

Guru
03-21-2008, 04:20 AM
Why do we create threads to make CP members think? Haven't you learned that is BAD idea?

tmax63
03-21-2008, 05:49 AM
If I understood all this rep crap I would give you some.

DenverChief
03-21-2008, 06:16 AM
Wal-Martinez

Phobia
03-21-2008, 06:42 AM
You know what pisses me off?
When you are pulling up to a 4-way stop, and there is a car going the other way (to your left or right) and they feel they have to wait for you to stop before they can go. They completed their stop 10 seconds ago, but for some reason they think the rule is that they can't go until you stop. Ponder that, as well.

People will never, ever figure out a four-way stop. The general public is just not smart enough. I've been flipped off by people because I was doing a 4-way stop the legal way.

Ultra Peanut
03-21-2008, 07:04 AM
Thanks for your thoughts, Mr. Carlinmillernugent.

a1na2
03-21-2008, 07:19 AM
Why do we create threads to make CP members think? Haven't you learned that is BAD idea?

I copied this from another website. It seems the membership here is more critical of the poster than they are of the post.

Too bad, the original was deemed to be funny. It's also listed on another football website and the general consensus is that it's funny.

I guess reputation is just something that most here cannot or will not get over.

a1na2
03-21-2008, 07:21 AM
People will never, ever figure out a four-way stop. The general public is just not smart enough. I've been flipped off by people because I was doing a 4-way stop the legal way.

From what I see you are correct. The people that understand the law have no problems using 4-ways correctly. I see a few that feel their shit doesn't stink and have every right to go first because they are important in the world.

Ultra Peanut
03-21-2008, 07:44 AM
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/images/reputation/reputation_neg.gif Three Things to Ponder 03-21-2008 08:20 AM a1na2 Try seeing the humor asshole.

It's not funny, asshole.

I copied this from another website. Oh gee, no shit? I thought you made it up yourself.

a1na2
03-21-2008, 09:17 AM
It's not funny, *******.

Oh gee, no ***? I thought you made it up yourself.

What did you expect? Good job @$$hole?

Other people have found this very amusing, that fact does not speak very highly of your ability to intrepet humor on that level.

Ultra Peanut
03-21-2008, 09:22 AM
Other people have found this very amusing, that fact does not speak very highly of your ability to intrepet humor on that level.Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahaha

Groves
03-21-2008, 10:22 AM
I thought he was going to quote Proverbs 30:

There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand:

the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a maiden.

BigChiefFan
03-21-2008, 10:24 AM
Great thread. I like humor with my politics.

Sully
03-21-2008, 11:15 AM
What the hell happened to Jennifer Love Hewitt?

She's a solid 7 right now, but back in Party of Five days, she was working hard toward a 9.5-10.

I ponder that, sometimes.

acesn8s
03-21-2008, 12:34 PM
Where oh where are the cops when you need them??

Seems there are plenty on the news every night- "Continueing their Investigation" on some petty nothing crime. But when some dumb bitch runs a light and almost causes serious injury to others because she is on her cel phone-None to be found.Where it is safe. Sitting under an overpass.

acesn8s
03-21-2008, 12:36 PM
You know what pisses me off?
When you are pulling up to a 4-way stop, and there is a car going the other way (to your left or right) and they feel they have to wait for you to stop before they can go. They completed their stop 10 seconds ago, but for some reason they think the rule is that they can't go until you stop. Ponder that, as well.
Try stopping your car. I may not trust...er ..I mean..they may not trust that you see them and are afraid to get hit by another car.:shrug:

acesn8s
03-21-2008, 12:43 PM
Is it just a coincidence that there are ten commandments? What did the original draft look like? Were there 15 or 20? Did they cut it down to 11, and God thought, y'know, this is a whole lot more marketable with a round number, and so he cut out the one that said, "Thou Shalt Not Play Music Loud Enough To Annoy Thy Neighbors"?
I hold here the 15 Commandm...(stone tablet falls to ground breaking into many pieces)...the 10 Commandments!

blueballs
03-21-2008, 12:47 PM
the gov regulates the cattle industry that tightly
read slowly "i-l-l-e-g-a-l aliens"

a1na2
03-21-2008, 01:22 PM
Where it is safe. Sitting under an overpass.

Wrong, wrong, wrong... They are at Dunkin' Donuts, the local donut shop, or that new one that serves up hot donuts as you walk in the door and gives all cops all the free they want.

a1na2
03-21-2008, 01:23 PM
Ha .......... haI'm not convinced. You are still lacking in ability, but that's your problem and not mine.

Halfcan
03-21-2008, 04:34 PM
I ponder why: people want to watch no-name stars and washed up jocks-Ballroom dance??

crazycoffey
03-21-2008, 04:46 PM
Where it is safe. Sitting under an overpass.


like a bridge troll just waiting to collect his toll, princess.....

crazycoffey
03-21-2008, 04:47 PM
I hold here the 15 Commandm...(stone tablet falls to ground breaking into many pieces)...the 10 Commandments!


I loved history of the world part one....

Halfcan
03-21-2008, 04:58 PM
like a bridge troll just waiting to collect his toll, princess.....

Usually the cops are too busy shaking down black people in my neighborhood. :)

I just got popped for 5 miles over and the fine was $97.00 :cuss:

but he did give me a break-I was 15 over in a school zone. Good thing I have the gift of Bullshit huh?

Iowanian
03-21-2008, 07:46 PM
I ponder 3 things that I'd never want to purchase used.

As I've pondered this today, my list is:

1. Condoms

2. Toilet Paper

3. Toothbrush

Boon
03-21-2008, 07:51 PM
I ponder 3 things that I'd never want to purchase used.

As I've pondered this today, my list is:

1. Condoms

2. Toilet Paper

3. Toothbrush

And gum

Halfcan
03-21-2008, 09:24 PM
I ponder 3 things that I'd never want to purchase used.

As I've pondered this today, my list is:

1. Condoms

2. Toilet Paper

3. Toothbrush

I didn't think you had a use for any of those things.

ClevelandBronco
03-21-2008, 09:28 PM
I ponder 3 things that I'd never want to purchase used.

As I've pondered this today, my list is:

1. Condoms

2. Toilet Paper

3. Toothbrush

Your list would be longer if you were a woman.

Rausch
03-21-2008, 09:55 PM
Three Things to Ponder:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

C O W S

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.[/FONT]

CJD disease (or the human form of mad cow) has an incubatory period of 15 to 30 years.

If you did happen to eat enough infected meat (and no one knows how much is necessary) you won't even show symptoms for up to 30 years.

I'm guessing the clean up on that $#it wasn't meticulous...

Halfcan
03-21-2008, 10:04 PM
only you could make mad cow disease sound funny

Adept Havelock
03-21-2008, 10:04 PM
I hold here the 15 Commandm...(stone tablet falls to ground breaking into many pieces)...the 10 Commandments!

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Adept Havelock
03-21-2008, 10:08 PM
I loved history of the world part one....

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