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View Full Version : Sometimes, I really love Craigslist *language warning*


Silock
03-28-2008, 01:19 PM
Sorry if reaphost. Also, language warning.

http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg121/Silock99/Untitled.jpg

AustinChief
03-28-2008, 01:29 PM
Wow, I didn't think she would notice the missing beer....

P.S. wait until she checks her closet...

Bugeater
03-28-2008, 01:31 PM
ROFL I'm only beginning to learn about the hilarity that can be found at craigslist. I've gone there to buy and sell stuff on occasions but I've never really dug into the site until lately. It's almost the internet equivalent of peoplewatching.

Mr. Plow
03-28-2008, 01:37 PM
You guys will never guess what I did to this chick I met at the bar last weekend after she wouldn't put out.

shyguyms
03-28-2008, 01:41 PM
You guys will never guess what I did to this chick I met at the bar last weekend after she wouldn't put out.

im guessing u tied her up and made her eat a vienna sausage

Pestilence
03-28-2008, 01:43 PM
LMAOROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

Pestilence
03-28-2008, 01:43 PM
If she didn't wake up while it was happening....then she deserved it.

Dartgod
03-28-2008, 01:45 PM
So she took this guy home, got into bed with him and allowed him to engage in foreplay and then cut him off because "she wasn't ready to go all the way"?

I'd say she got off easy. Friggen' cock-tease!

journeyscarab
03-28-2008, 01:48 PM
Mr. Mackey: After having to wake up early, you know? There's NO coffee in the teacher's lounge, and then you walk into the bathroom to just find a big dook laying there in the urinal! Like it's laughing at you!

SOMEONE had to walk into the bathroom…drop their pants…turn around…maybe spread their butt cheeks apart with their hands…and squeeze out a choclate hot dog.

Pestilence
03-28-2008, 01:48 PM
So she took this guy home, got into bed with him and allowed him to engage in foreplay and then cut him off because "she wasn't ready to go all the way"?

I'd say she got off easy. Friggen' cock-tease!

Dude I've got that beat.

My ex-girlfriend spent the night one night......got topless....found out she wasn't wearing any panties. Then when I tried to get some....she told me she was a virgin...and she was waiting till she's married.

She's still a virgin to this day.

beach tribe
03-28-2008, 01:48 PM
Funny, but I call BS.

Mr. Plow
03-28-2008, 01:52 PM
Dude I've got that beat.

My ex-girlfriend spent the night one night......got topless....found out she wasn't wearing any panties. Then when I tried to get some....she told me she was a virgin...and she was waiting till she's married.

She's still a virgin to this day.


Just wait until she falls asleep.

Pestilence
03-28-2008, 02:01 PM
Just wait until she falls asleep.

Yeah but her choice in beer sucks.....

kstater
03-28-2008, 02:01 PM
So she took this guy home, got into bed with him and allowed him to engage in foreplay and then cut him off because "she wasn't ready to go all the way"?

I'd say she got off easy. Friggen' cock-tease!

Don't forget about all the money he dropped on her for cheap watered down drinks.

gblowfish
03-28-2008, 02:03 PM
Guess she's lucky he left the Cleveland Steamer on the bathroom floor....
instead of on her chest.

DenverChief
03-28-2008, 02:04 PM
Mr. Mackey: After having to wake up early, you know? There's NO coffee in the teacher's lounge, and then you walk into the bathroom to just find a big dook laying there in the urinal! Like it's laughing at you!

SOMEONE had to walk into the bathroom…drop their pants…turn around…maybe spread their butt cheeks apart with their hands…and squeeze out a choclate hot dog.

LMAO

stlchiefs
03-28-2008, 02:06 PM
How does someone go about shitting IN a floor? She didn't just mess up one time, she consistently said he shit "in" the floor. hmm?

Pestilence
03-28-2008, 02:07 PM
How does someone go about shitting IN a floor? She didn't just mess up one time, she consistently said he shit "in" the floor. hmm?

Dug a hole?

ClevelandBronco
03-28-2008, 02:09 PM
Darn. I was really hoping that it would be okay to contact that poster with services or other commercial interests.

Uncle_Ted
03-28-2008, 02:10 PM
Funny, but I call BS.

On which part? All of it?

I call BS at least on the part where she says she was going to have sex when him when she woke up the next morning. Let's see, she's not going to do it when she's drunk, horny, and has already let him get in her pants, but the next morning when she's hung over, his breath stinks worse than the carpet in the basement of a frat house, and she realizes what he looks like in the daylight ... yeah right.

Sully
03-28-2008, 02:14 PM
I guess it's better to have the cum on your face and the shit on the floor than the opposite.

ClevelandBronco
03-28-2008, 02:16 PM
I guess it's better to have the cum on your face and the shit on the floor than the opposite.

That's certainly a view into the bright side.

chagrin
03-28-2008, 02:17 PM
First of all, that's got to be fake...secondly, if it isn't, she must be the one whose purse I shit in the week before, whew - you should have seen THAT email

Baby Lee
03-28-2008, 02:18 PM
And to think, if this had happened to Rain Man, we might have been regaled with a couple of blurry photos of the incident.

chagrin
03-28-2008, 02:21 PM
I guess it's not fake (riiight)

http://dallas.craigslist.org/rnr/619012740.html


To the girl I met at the bar sat night.
Reply to: pers-619012740@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-03-26, 2:42AM CDT


I was the tattoed, horny guy with a ripped body. I bought you drinks all night long and you broke my bank. Then at closing, you asked me to come over to your place and gave me a woody. After more beers there you pulled me into your room and started really getting me worked up. You shove my hand into your pants and the whole time pretend to be a little innocent girl saying, "oh no, not on first date", all the while the coating on my finger your mouth on my tongue tells me your body says yes. Then you say you're gonna pass out and I told you, "That's ok, you can just lay here while I fondle and jerkoff on you". You agreed and kissed me again and teased me some more.

So what do you expect? It's not like we met at church. You always said you like "bad boys", right?

Consider the crap as repayment for a shitty night. The beer I took doesn't begin to make up for the drinks I bought you.

Now send me $50 or I'll email the pics of me jacking off on your face to your coworkers and family.

PS: Might wanna check in the tank above the toilet, too. T-1 out! Pirate stooled!




* Location: Denton
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 619012740

Delano
03-28-2008, 02:22 PM
How did the missing 12 pack of Coke turn in to a missing case of beer?

Pestilence
03-28-2008, 02:33 PM
I guess it's not fake (riiight)

http://dallas.craigslist.org/rnr/619012740.html


To the girl I met at the bar sat night.
Reply to: pers-619012740@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-03-26, 2:42AM CDT


I was the tattoed, horny guy with a ripped body. I bought you drinks all night long and you broke my bank. Then at closing, you asked me to come over to your place and gave me a woody. After more beers there you pulled me into your room and started really getting me worked up. You shove my hand into your pants and the whole time pretend to be a little innocent girl saying, "oh no, not on first date", all the while the coating on my finger your mouth on my tongue tells me your body says yes. Then you say you're gonna pass out and I told you, "That's ok, you can just lay here while I fondle and jerkoff on you". You agreed and kissed me again and teased me some more.

So what do you expect? It's not like we met at church. You always said you like "bad boys", right?

Consider the crap as repayment for a shitty night. The beer I took doesn't begin to make up for the drinks I bought you.

Now send me $50 or I'll email the pics of me jacking off on your face to your coworkers and family.

PS: Might wanna check in the tank above the toilet, too. T-1 out! Pirate stooled!




* Location: Denton
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 619012740

I don't care if it's fake or not.....that's hilarious.

ChiTown
03-28-2008, 02:34 PM
I guess it's not fake (riiight)

http://dallas.craigslist.org/rnr/619012740.html


To the girl I met at the bar sat night.
Reply to: pers-619012740@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-03-26, 2:42AM CDT


PS: Might wanna check in the tank above the toilet, too. T-1 out! Pirate stooled!




ROFLROFL He gave her an upper decker ROFL

Rooster
03-28-2008, 03:03 PM
ROFLROFL He gave her an upper decker ROFL

That is awesome. ROFL

Lzen
03-28-2008, 03:19 PM
How did the missing 12 pack of Coke turn in to a missing case of beer?

Nice catch and good question.

sedated
03-28-2008, 03:25 PM
How did the missing 12 pack of Coke turn in to a missing case of beer?

She said she went into the fridge to get a Coke, and noticed a missing 12-pack. She didn't say the 12-pack was Coke, just that A 12-pack was missing.


Like "I went into my basement to get a shovel, and noticed the little girl was missing."

catfish307
03-28-2008, 03:44 PM
Dude I've got that beat.

My ex-girlfriend spent the night one night......got topless....found out she wasn't wearing any panties. Then when I tried to get some....she told me she was a virgin...and she was waiting till she's married.

She's still a virgin to this day.


Not anymore. :hump: :D

Pestilence
03-28-2008, 03:49 PM
Not anymore. :hump: :D

You used roofies. That doesn't count.

CoMoChief
03-28-2008, 03:49 PM
Hey.....that's just how I roll man.

sedated
03-28-2008, 03:58 PM
You used roofies. That doesn't count.

please explain these rules to my judge

Pestilence
03-28-2008, 04:07 PM
please explain these rules to my judge

If you use roofies then she can't tell that you're faking it.

Iowanian
03-28-2008, 04:39 PM
I guess she's got a problem with Hiphop lifestyles?

Watch me crank it, watch me roll....gonna super man that hoe.

DaFace
03-28-2008, 04:47 PM
testing:

repost

Chiefmanwillcatch
03-28-2008, 07:51 PM
sounds like a guy wrote it.

Girls don't talk like that.

Bugeater
03-28-2008, 08:17 PM
sounds like a guy wrote it.

Girls don't talk like that.

Hell hath no fury like a woman splooged.

BCD
03-29-2008, 01:15 AM
LMAO

Saggysack
03-29-2008, 02:10 AM
sounds like a guy wrote it.

Girls don't talk like that.

Yep. You can tell from the first sentence too. No woman refers to her tits as her rack. Only guys do that.

Silock
03-29-2008, 07:46 AM
You're right. I forgot things had to be real to be funny. My bad.