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Mr. Plow
04-24-2008, 01:09 PM
I know some of you out there are bullies (please stop picking on me), but I've got kind of a issue I'm looking for some advice on.

My oldest son - 9 years / 3rd grade - is having an issue with a bully at school. Like most bullies, the kid is a little bit bigger and just seems to pick on him. Luckily, they are both 3rd graders but in separate classes, so they only see each other at recess.

I've told my son that he needs to stand up for himself and avoid the situation if at all possible. Which he does. He plays with a few other kids at recess - typically basketball - but this bully, even playing other games, comes over to the basketball courts and starts picking on him. They don't play the same games, they don't hang out - it seems to be more of a this kid is seeking out my son.

Here is where the problem comes in. I know the parents of this kid. In fact, we hang out pretty regularly. I would call us all friends.....to an extent.

I know the first piece of advice someone will give is that since we are friends, talk to the parents. The problem, the parents don't care. We've attempted to have a conversation about it.....it goes in one ear and out the other. Their explanation - our son whines and it's not their kids fault.

I'm not the worlds best parent, I know that. But these parents are purely sports driven living vicariously through their children. Their kids, and themselves, have to be the best at everything - which in itself is mildly ironic. I like to call these type of people "1 Uppers".

My son got a 98% on his English Assessment test.....their son got a 100%. My son got a 84% on his Math Assessment....their son got a 87%. My son scored 8 points in the basketball game.....their son score 10.

Personally, I never had to deal with bullies growing up, so my advice is limited. I can tell him what I think, but it may not be correct.....or the best advice.

So, what advice would you give to your son/daughter dealing with a bully?

Redrum_69
04-24-2008, 01:10 PM
Guns solve all problems

keg in kc
04-24-2008, 01:11 PM
A basketball to the nuts.

Redrum_69
04-24-2008, 01:12 PM
Tell your son to call FOX 4 news...this sounds like the perfect "Crime Stoppers"

JBucc
04-24-2008, 01:14 PM
Those parents seem like scum, so dump them as friends. Then give your give a knife and tell him go for the juggler.

Frazod
04-24-2008, 01:14 PM
Your son has to KICK HIS ASS. PERIOD. The sooner the better, too, because the older they get the messier the results can be. Third graders typically can't do all that much damage to each other.

Until your kid stands up for himself and gets this monkey off his back, he'll be miserable. Whining/tattling does no good.

Redrum_69
04-24-2008, 01:15 PM
Next time this bully starts something, tell your son to hit him right between the eyes.


If thats not an option, grab a bat and aim for the temple.

el borracho
04-24-2008, 01:16 PM
Antifreeze!

DeezNutz
04-24-2008, 01:17 PM
I'm not saying to start a confrontation, but, especially with little kids, calling the bully's bluff might work. If this kid is intimidating your son, sparking a reaction, if he stands his ground and makes the bully either A.) throw a punch (which I doubt the bully wants to do) or B.) walk away, I believe the situation might soon be forgotten. The bully won't get the reaction he wants and soon will find a new target, after all, they're 9.

Redrum_69
04-24-2008, 01:17 PM
Or...you can google "how to deal with bullies"

http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/bullies.html

Bullying is a big problem. It can make kids feel hurt, scared, sick, lonely, embarrassed and sad. Bullies might hit, kick, or push to hurt people, or use words to call names, threaten, tease, or scare them. A bully might say mean things about someone, grab a kid's stuff, make fun of someone, or leave a kid out of the group on purpose. Some bullies threaten people or try to make them do things they don't want to do.

Bullying Is a Big Deal
Bullying is a big problem that affects lots of kids. Three-quarters of all kids say they have been bullied or teased. Being bullied can make kids feel really bad. The stress of dealing with bullies can make kids feel sick.

Bullying can make kids not want to play outside or go to school. It's hard to keep your mind on schoolwork when you're worried about how you're going to deal with the bully near your locker. Bullying bothers everyone — and not just the kids who are getting picked on. Bullying can make school a place of fear and can lead to more violence and more stress for everyone.

Why Do Bullies Act That Way?
Some bullies are looking for attention. They might think bullying is a way to be popular or to get what they want. Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important. When they pick on someone else, it can make them feel big and powerful.

Some bullies come from families where everyone is angry and shouting all the time. They may think that being angry, calling names, and pushing people around is a normal way to act. Some bullies are copying what they've seen someone else do. Some have been bullied themselves.

Sometimes bullies know that what they are doing or saying hurts other people. But other bullies may not really know how hurtful their actions can be. Most bullies don't understand or care about the feelings of others.

Bullies often pick on someone they think they can have power over. They might pick on kids who get upset easily or who have trouble sticking up for themselves. Getting a big reaction out of someone can make bullies feel like they have the power they want. Sometimes bullies pick on someone who is smarter than they are or different from them in some way. Sometimes bullies just pick on a kid for no reason at all.

Gemma told her mom that this one kid was picking on her for having red hair and freckles. She wanted to be like the other kids but she couldn’t change those things about herself. Finally Gemma made friends at her local swimming pool with a girl who wished she had red hair like Gemma's. The two girls became great friends and she learned to ignore the mean girl's taunts at school.

Bullying: How to Handle It
So now you know that bullying is a big problem that affects a lot of kids, but what do you do if someone is bullying you? Our advice falls into two categories: preventing a run-in with the bully, and what to do if you end up face-to-face with the bully.

Preventing a run-in with a bully:

Don't give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid the bully. You can't go into hiding or skip class, of course. But if you can take a different route and avoid him or her, do so.

Stand tall and be brave. When you're scared of another person, you're probably not feeling your bravest. But sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully. How does a brave person look and act? Stand tall and you'll send the message: "Don't mess with me." It's easier to feel brave when you feel good about yourself. See the next tip!

Feel good about you. Nobody's perfect, but what can you do to look and feel your best? Maybe you'd like to be more fit. If so, maybe you'll decide to get more exercise, watch less TV, and eat healthier snacks. Or maybe you feel you look best when you shower in the morning before school. If so, you could decide to get up a little earlier so you can be clean and refreshed for the school day.

Get a buddy (and be a buddy). Two is better than one if you're trying to avoid being bullied. Make a plan to walk with a friend or two on the way to school or recess or lunch or wherever you think you might meet the bully. Offer to do the same if a friend is having bully trouble. Get involved if you see bullying going on in your school — tell an adult, stick up for the kid being bullied, and tell the bully to stop.

If the bully says or does something to you:

Ignore the bully. If you can, try your best to ignore the bully's threats. Pretend you don't hear them and walk away quickly to a place of safety. Bullies want a big reaction to their teasing and meanness. Acting as if you don't notice and don't care is like giving no reaction at all, and this just might stop a bully's behavior.

Stand up for yourself. Pretend to feel really brave and confident. Tell the bully "No! Stop it!" in a loud voice. Then walk away, or run if you have to. Kids also can stand up for each other by telling a bully to stop teasing or scaring someone else, and then walk away together. If a bully wants you to do something that you don't want to do — say "no!" and walk away. If you do what a bully says to do, they will likely keep bullying you. Bullies tend to bully kids who don't stick up for themselves.

Don't bully back. Don't hit, kick, or push back to deal with someone bullying you or your friends. Fighting back just satisfies a bully and it's dangerous, too, because someone could get hurt. You're also likely to get in trouble. It's best to stay with others, stay safe, and get help from an adult.

Don't show your feelings. Plan ahead. How can you stop yourself from getting angry or showing you're upset? Try distracting yourself (counting backwards from 100, spelling the word 'turtle' backwards, etc.) to keep your mind occupied until you are out of the situation and somewhere safe where you can show your feelings.

Tell an adult. If you are being bullied, it's very important to tell an adult. Find someone you trust and go and tell them what is happening to you. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom helpers at school can all help to stop bullying. Sometimes bullies stop as soon as a teacher finds out because they're afraid that they will be punished by parents. This is not tattling on someone who has done something small — bullying is wrong and it helps if everyone who gets bullied or sees someone being bullied speaks up.

What Happens to Bullies?
In the end, most bullies wind up in trouble. If they keep acting mean and hurtful, sooner or later they may have only a few friends left — usually other kids who are just like them. The power they wanted slips away fast. Other kids move on and leave bullies behind.

Luis lived in fear of Brian — every day he would give his lunch money to Brian but he still beat him up. He said that if Luis ever told anyone he would beat him up in front of all the other kids in his class. Luis even cried one day and another girl told everyone that he was a baby and had been crying. Luis was embarrassed and felt so bad about himself and about school. Finally, Brian got caught threatening Luis and they were both sent to the school counselor. Brian got in a lot of trouble at home. Over time, Brian learned how to make friends and ask his parents for lunch money. Luis never wanted to be friends with Brian but he did learn to act strong and more confident around him.

Some kids who bully blame others. But every kid has a choice about how to act. Some kids who bully realize that they don't get the respect they want by threatening others. They may have thought that bullying would make them popular, but they soon find out that other kids just think of them as trouble-making losers.

The good news is that kids who are bullies can learn to change their behavior. Teachers, counselors, and parents can help. So can watching kids who treat others fairly and with respect. Bullies can change if they learn to use their power in positive ways. In the end, whether bullies decide to change their ways is up to them. Some bullies turn into great kids. Some bullies never learn.

But no one needs to put up with a bully's behavior. If you or someone you know is bothered by a bully, talk to someone you trust. Everyone has the right to feel safe, and being bullied makes people feel unsafe. Tell someone about it and keep telling until something is done.

MIAdragon
04-24-2008, 01:17 PM
Any "friend" that doesn’t give a shit about how his child is intentionally bothers yours is a douche. First Id end the friendship with him, then tell your kid to give the bully an antifreeze slushy.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

RedNeckRaider
04-24-2008, 01:20 PM
IMO you need to teach him how to fight, when to fight and when to walk away. He is better off to stand his ground and take a whuppin once than take several later.

Most guys won't mess with a guy who is willing to fight even if they think they can whip him. Best of luck to you and your kid, sometimes life aint fair and he needs to learn how to deal with it.

kregger
04-24-2008, 01:21 PM
Seems like most elementary schools have a no tolerance policy for these situations. If your son defends himself, he might be the one on suspension as it's usually the second guy that gets busted.
Delicately let the school counselor know what is going on and have them intercede if it truly is a bully situation. If that doesn't work, have your son bust his chops and that should end it.

Sure-Oz
04-24-2008, 01:23 PM
take him to karate or teach him some self defense and then have him woop his ass gholston style

el borracho
04-24-2008, 01:24 PM
Actual advice: End the friendship with the parents of the bully immediately and enroll your son in some form of martial arts. Also, you (not your son) should go to the school and notify them of the problem. If the bullying persists, at some point your son needs to punch the other kid in the nose. Win or lose the fight, the bully will probably move on to some other target.

markk
04-24-2008, 01:25 PM
tell your kid to punch him in the face. bullies are cowards. they want easy targets to assert authority over. they don't want resistance.

this is a teachable experience. stand up for yourself or not. it will propagate to other life experiences.

Sure-Oz
04-24-2008, 01:27 PM
Watch rocky V or atleast skip to the part where rocky teaches his son to box and beat up the bully later

Mr. Plow
04-24-2008, 01:28 PM
take him to karate or teach him some self defense and then have him woop his ass gholston style


He is in karate now. Started about 3 weeks ago. Honestly, I've never understood why my son allows this kid to do it. They are roughly the same size.

Sure-Oz
04-24-2008, 01:30 PM
He is in karate now. Started about 3 weeks ago. Honestly, I've never understood why my son allows this kid to do it. They are roughly the same size.

Tell him to kick his ass and then give him a high five

ChiefsCountry
04-24-2008, 01:30 PM
The natural way for males to end an argument or not to get picked on is the fighting method. Probally get in deep shit though at schools these days. After girls, this is really the only thing guys normally get in fights about.

NewChief
04-24-2008, 01:31 PM
Actual advice: End the friendship with the parents of the bully immediately and enroll your son in some form of martial arts. Also, you (not your son) should go to the school and notify them of the problem. If the bullying persists, at some point your son needs to punch the other kid in the nose. Win or lose the fight, the bully will probably move on to some other target.

Pretty much my advice. I'd also find out about the exact nature of the bullying. You don't want to come in to the school and tell them the kid is "mean" to your son. You want to say, "He took the ball from my son, pushed him to the ground, and told him he couldn't play with them any more."

You might compile 3 or 4 specific instances of the bullying with the exact behaviors demonstrated, then bring that to the school.

Chief Wiggum
04-24-2008, 01:31 PM
If he can, teach you son some game so he can steal the bully's girl. (Kidding...somewhat) I agree with what most said in this thread. Bullies don't want people to stand up to them - if your kid can find the courage to do it, he'll be a better person because of it. He doesn't necessarily even have to hit the kid - resistance to his tactics may be enough.

Tell you son, it's his first step into manhood - that may help him get through it. Seriously, I wish you both the best of luck.

Sure-Oz
04-24-2008, 01:32 PM
Tell your son to ask the kid if he's gay and likes guys, if the bully responds no, then tell him if he picks on him that he'll tell all the kids he's a homo

stlchiefs
04-24-2008, 01:33 PM
If you tell him to stand up for himself in a physical manner, it would be better if he decided to do this at basketball, baseball practice, etc. where they are not at school so as to avoid any problems with the school.

Bill Lundberg
04-24-2008, 01:33 PM
This reminds me of the time I got beat up by a girl in the fourth grade..

Let me start off by stating that my curiosity of the opposite sex began at a very early age. The whole, girls are gross thing never really applied to me. As early as the 2nd grade myself and a couple of buddies would take over the tire forts at recess and two of us would “guard” the fort while the third was inside playing “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”, which usually meant punching around in the girls panties. I don’t know what’s scarier, the fact that we did this as 8 year olds or the fact that we always found willing girls. As I assume most kids do, I always had a “girlfriend”.

In the 4th grade that girlfriend was Misty. Misty was the cute, popular girl with blond hair and blue eyes. Apparently 4th grade was a good year for me because all the girls would send me the “Will you go out with me? Yes/No Circle One” notes. One glorious day I received one of those notes from Jenny. Jenny was a fiery little red headed tom boy. She refused to play little league softball with the girls because she wanted to play baseball with the boys. Looking back on this I’m surprised she didn’t grow up to be a lesbian, but I digress. Apparently Jenny didn’t know I was “going out” with Misty so I checked yes and fired the note back to her. I now officially had two girlfriends and was on top of the world. This lasted all of roughly 2 hours.

Afternoon recess rolls around and Jenny and Misty confront me. I guess it didn’t take long for word to get out that I had two girlfriends. They demanded that I chose one on the spot. Naturally, I chose Misty (I’ve always been a sucker for Blonds). Before I finished speaking Misty’s name Jenny punched me twice in the face, it was a mean 1-2 combination. A crowd gathered all my buddies are urging me to kick her ass; it was your typical playground fight scene. One problem, my dad always told me if I ever hit a girl I might as well not bother coming home due to the amount of damage he would do to me with “the belt” once I got home. Knowing this I just stood there and took it, then it happened, Jenny wound up her right leg and, with the force of an Adam Vinatieri field goal attempt, drilled me right in the nuts. I dropped to my knees in tears and the teacher came to break up the crowd. I was devastated physically and emotionally. I just got my ass kicked by a girl.

School resumed and I told the teacher I was sick and needed to see the nurse. I convinced her to let me call my mother (a teacher at the same school) and let me go home for the day. Upon arriving home my mom tells dad the story and without hesitation he says, “If anyone boy or girl ever does that to you, you have every right to defend yourself. You can’t let them get away with that.”

Would have been great information the day before…

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 01:33 PM
tell your kid to punch him in the face. bullies are cowards. they want easy targets to assert authority over. they don't want resistance.

this is a teachable experience. stand up for yourself or not. it will propagate to other life experiences.

I will start my kid in martial arts somewhere between 4 - 6. Teach him how to attack effectively. Even if he gets his ass whooped it will make him feel much better about himself and stop the bullying. I know all the Denise:Peace:TinkyWinky types will disagree with me but if you take matters into your own hands it will effect your son in a negative way for a very long time. Really lower his self-esteem.

Count Alex's Losses
04-24-2008, 01:34 PM
I always just whined to the teacher.

Mr. Plow
04-24-2008, 01:34 PM
I'm really trying to stay out of this as much as possible because, like most of you have said, he has to stand up for himself. Honestly, I want him to stand up to this kid. I don't condone him fighting, but this kids has needed his ass kicked for several years.

I explained to him this morning that while I don't want to hear him getting into any fights, if he gets into a fight defending himself, he won't be punished by me.

Radar Chief
04-24-2008, 01:36 PM
He is in karate now. Started about 3 weeks ago. Honestly, I've never understood why my son allows this kid to do it. They are roughly the same size.

Maybe he’s afraid he’ll get in trouble with you. The other kid is the son of a supposed “friend”. :shrug:

xbarretx
04-24-2008, 01:36 PM
If you tell him to stand up for himself in a physical manner, it would be better if he decided to do this at basketball, baseball practice, etc. where they are not at school so as to avoid any problems with the school.

QFT, schools would rather do that then actually take ownership and solve a problem!

MIAdragon
04-24-2008, 01:36 PM
I'm really trying to stay out of this as much as possible because, like most of you have said, he has to stand up for himself. Honestly, I want him to stand up to this kid. I don't condone him fighting, but this kids has needed his ass kicked for several years.

I explained to him this morning that while I don't want to hear him getting into any fights, if he gets into a fight defending himself, he won't be punished by me.


hire some 4th graders to pound him after school.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 01:37 PM
You might compile 3 or 4 specific instances of the bullying with the exact behaviors demonstrated, then bring that to the school.

Then you're not only a pussy your'e a snitch. I don't think so.

NewChief
04-24-2008, 01:37 PM
I will start my kid in martial arts somewhere between 4 - 6. Teach him how to attack effectively. Even if he gets his ass whooped it will make him feel much better about himself and stop the bullying. I know all the Denise:Peace:TinkyWinky types will disagree with me but if you take matters into your own hands it will effect your son in a negative way for a very long time. Really lower his self-esteem.

I think that MA serves as a preventative as much as anything. It changes the victim mentality of the kid so that he doesn't even have to get into fights. I'm not trying to say that all bullying victims are weak or have a victim mentality, but I do think that someone who has confidence in his ability to defend himself is less of a target.

Mr. Plow
04-24-2008, 01:39 PM
Maybe he’s afraid he’ll get in trouble with you. The other kid is the son of a supposed “friend”. :shrug:

I hadn't thought of that, but that is a distinct possibility. I'll put that one to rest when he comes home this afternoon.

NewChief
04-24-2008, 01:40 PM
Then you're not only a pussy your'e a snitch. I don't think so.

I'm aware of your feelings on this matter. I'm also aware of school policy on this matter. I'm trying to give him advice that will avoid he and his son getting in potential trouble. Seeing as my school just dealt with a nationally publicized bullying case, I'm pretty familiar with the law and what you should do from a legal standpoint to cover your ass.

Sure-Oz
04-24-2008, 01:41 PM
Your "friend" should've ended this bs a long time ago honestly...i am one for where the kids stands on his own, but at the same time if you told me, id tell my little shit son to knock it off

Mr. Plow
04-24-2008, 01:41 PM
I think that MA serves as a preventative as much as anything. It changes the victim mentality of the kid so that he doesn't even have to get into fights. I'm not trying to say that all bullying victims are weak or have a victim mentality, but I do think that someone who has confidence in his ability to defend himself is less of a target.

That is part of the reason we enrolled him in karate. He seems to lack some confidence and the wife & I felt karate would help him with that. It has in only 3 weeks. His teacher does not put up with whining, crying, or back talk. Even at home. If any of the above happen, he does 20 pushups.

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 01:43 PM
I'm aware of your feelings on this matter. I'm also aware of school policy on this matter. I'm trying to give him advice that will avoid he and his son getting in potential trouble. Seeing as my school just dealt with a nationally publicized bullying case, I'm pretty familiar with the law and what you should do from a legal standpoint to cover your ass.

Yea run and snitch, the new America. I am aware of new policy.

Count Alex's Losses
04-24-2008, 01:43 PM
I remember one time, in 5th grade, we were on a restroom break, and some dudes tried to give me a swirly. They were pushing me into the stall, like three of them, and I really didn't want a swirly. So I braced my arms against the sides of the stall, and held on with all my might. They could not move me. I was Hercules. And then the bell rang.

markk
04-24-2008, 01:45 PM
I will start my kid in martial arts somewhere between 4 - 6. Teach him how to attack effectively. Even if he gets his ass whooped it will make him feel much better about himself and stop the bullying. I know all the Denise:Peace:TinkyWinky types will disagree with me but if you take matters into your own hands it will effect your son in a negative way for a very long time. Really lower his self-esteem.

i agree. DONT be one of those parents who shields your kid from everything and solves all their problems for them by running to teachers or whatever. encourage the kid to stand up for himself and don't solve his problems for him.

too many people had parents like that and then get in the real world and dont have any clue how to deal with any of their own problems

Brock
04-24-2008, 01:45 PM
I will start my kid in martial arts somewhere between 4 - 6. Teach him how to attack effectively. Even if he gets his ass whooped it will make him feel much better about himself and stop the bullying. I know all the Denise:Peace:TinkyWinky types will disagree with me but if you take matters into your own hands it will effect your son in a negative way for a very long time. Really lower his self-esteem.

You're going to have a lot of problems with your kid. Good luck.

xbarretx
04-24-2008, 01:45 PM
I'm really trying to stay out of this as much as possible because, like most of you have said, he has to stand up for himself. Honestly, I want him to stand up to this kid. I don't condone him fighting, but this kids has needed his ass kicked for several years.

I explained to him this morning that while I don't want to hear him getting into any fights, if he gets into a fight defending himself, he won't be punished by me.


try this

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markk
04-24-2008, 01:46 PM
Yea run and snitch, the new America. I am aware of new policy.

snitches get stitches

Frazod
04-24-2008, 01:47 PM
I would also image that kids who never get over being bullied grow up to be internet trolls.

You don't want your kid to be the next spectre, do you?

Demonpenz
04-24-2008, 01:50 PM
You have to punch a person in the face so be it, but somewhere along the lines he will have to walk away or he will be that guy who gets into a fight about EVERYTHING. Either that or just give him some hockey skates. Then he will only get 5 for fighting

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 01:51 PM
You're going to have a lot of problems with your kid. Good luck.

Really, do you have a crystal ball or is it that you have a problem with boys being raised without skirts on?

markk
04-24-2008, 01:53 PM
You have to punch a person in the face so be it, but somewhere along the lines he will have to walk away or he will be that guy who gets into a fight about EVERYTHING. Either that or just give him some hockey skates. Then he will only get 5 for fighting

yeah... you dont want him to be that guy who throws in a bar just because someone bumped into him. but he should know to pick his battles and issue some reprisal if its justified

Brock
04-24-2008, 01:53 PM
Really, do you have a crystal ball or is it that you have a problem with boys being raised without skirts on?

Speaking from experience, be sure your liability insurance is paid up.

AZORChiefFan
04-24-2008, 01:54 PM
Have your son make like Chris Makepeace and hire himself Adam Baldwin as a bodyguard to fight Matt Dillon.

OK Seriously I'd say your son is going to have to stand up to this bully at some point. Don't know if it has to be physical but most likely that's what will happen. If on school property both kids or would get suspended. I guess this goes without saying.

If your kid goes to an 'authority figure' at the school he'll be labeled a p*ssy and that could be worse than any suspension.

I remember some kids in my hometown were going at each other (don't think it was bullying they just couldn't stand each other) Well they fought off school property and one of the kids dad watched the fight to make sure it was 'fair' and no one got terribly hurt.

KCChiefsMan
04-24-2008, 01:55 PM
I was bullied in school, I usually tried to avoid them and when I couldn't I stood up and got into a fight with them. I think in this day in age it's probably a bad idea to get into a fight in school. It seems that they are a lot more strict about that now.

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 01:55 PM
Speaking from experience, be sure your liability insurance is paid up.

OK. Small price to pay if I end up losing a legal battle because my kid defended himself. One more reason to move money offshore, attorneys.

Dicky McElephant
04-24-2008, 01:56 PM
When you're in 3rd grade.....you bounce back from a fight and no one remembers. Better to do it now then wait years to do it.

Demonpenz
04-24-2008, 01:58 PM
Sometimes I worry too about it being a daily thing. I remember popping a guy then having to worry about alright where will I be when his friends jump me, then you have to worry about those dudes having knives or guns. Is it really worth it? I was lucky one of the dudes I fought just waited for me after school and busted book shelf over my ass. I know you can't walk away from everything but jeez in joetown where I grew up nothing ever gets dropped. Beat a dude up get ready to get jumped at the game, mall, anywhere.

MIAdragon
04-24-2008, 01:59 PM
I would also image that kids who never get over being bullied grow up to be internet trolls.

You don't want your kid to be the next spectre, do you?


Or cops.

Demonpenz
04-24-2008, 02:00 PM
these kids are young enough where it probably doesn't matter about college, but got to be real careful about being suspended. If you get suspended you might get all Zero's and drop that GPA which could make the difference in schools and money later on in life.

xbarretx
04-24-2008, 02:01 PM
am i the only one who loves that family guy episode? i tried to find a regular video of Peter doing that... but i could only find that one that shows it in many different ways... i think it still gets my point across.

*serious note* talk with your kid first about fighting and when to walk away. then talk to the parents and if they dont care STILL tell them your bringing the matter to the schools attention. seriously, standing up doesnt mean a football to the groin. however, it does mean not taking crap when you dont have too.

while id say that talking to the school is the last thing you want (b/c your son should learn from this situation and how to deal with future ones) you dont want the bullying to escalate into abuse. if the bully just taunts him then try to coach you son on how to let stuff go and stand his ground. teaching that its ok to take a punch while being the better man can be the right thing to do. im not saying if he hits him that your son shoudlnt do anythng im just saying if he pushes, dont always push back... fight back mentally thats how the battles won!.. or tonya harding him!

Molitoth
04-24-2008, 02:02 PM
Here is the way I have delt with people messing with me.

Step 1) Ignore it
Step 2) Talk your way out of it
Step 3) Throw the first punch, they deserve it. (After getting hit really frikin hard in the nose, thier eyes start to water and they are so shocked that you actually stood up for yourself that they really don't know what to do)

Advice: Teach him how to punch someone in the face. It's sad that it has to be done, but it works.

You could also have the teacher watch them during recess, just so he/she knows that its not your kid who is starting the shit... when the bully gets knocked in the head, hopefully he will get the self defence and not a suspension. Even if he does get suspended, he will get the respect he needs to get through school without problems.

xbarretx
04-24-2008, 02:04 PM
Here is the way I have delt with people messing with me.

Step 1) Ignore it
Step 2) Talk your way out of it
Step 3) Throw the first punch, they deserve it. (After getting hit really frikin hard in the nose, thier eyes start to water and they are so shocked that you actually stood up for yourself that they really don't know what to do)

Advice: Teach him how to punch someone in the face. It's sad that it has to be done, but it works.

You could also have the teacher watch them during recess, just so he/she knows that its not your kid who is starting the shit... when the bully gets knocked in the head, hopefully he will get the self defense and not a suspension. Even if he does get suspended, he will get the respect he needs to get through school without problems.

best advice Moli :clap: well played sir!

/end of thread

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 02:06 PM
I was bullied in school, I usually tried to avoid them and when I couldn't I stood up and got into a fight with them. I think in this day in age it's probably a bad idea to get into a fight in school. It seems that they are a lot more strict about that now.

Run and snitch, the new America.

Lzen
04-24-2008, 02:07 PM
Seems like most elementary schools have a no tolerance policy for these situations. If your son defends himself, he might be the one on suspension as it's usually the second guy that gets busted.
Delicately let the school counselor know what is going on and have them intercede if it truly is a bully situation. If that doesn't work, have your son bust his chops and that should end it.

I have always told my boys that if they defend themselves from a bully and get suspended for it, they won't be in trouble with me. Now don't get me wrong. I have made it very clear that they are not to start something. But if they have to stand up for themselves against a bully, I have no problem with that.

Chiefnj2
04-24-2008, 02:07 PM
1. Contact the school. Let them know of the situation at recess and demand to know who is supposed to be supervising the kids. This is to protect you and your son in the event a fight happens. There will be a record of you saying there are problems and the school perhaps not taking action to break the kids up at recess.

2. Make another run at the kids parents. Perhaps they didn't understand the point you were trying to make the 1st time around. Just come out and say "my son says your son is picking on him at recess, the way schools take things like this so seriously these days I would appreciate it if you spoke to him before anyone gets in trouble or suspended".

3. If 1 and 2 don't work and the bullying continues, then have him throw the basketball (chest pass) at the other kids face from a close distance. It'll be easier and quicker to teach him how to do that then it will for 2 years of karate to kick in. THe proper defense is: (a) a basketball to the face, (b) one quick punch or kick, (c) slap yourself quickly in your own face, (d) step back and yell "he hit me first Mrs. X", while pointing to the kid lying on the floor.

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 02:07 PM
Or cops.

LMAO Exactly!!! LMAO

penchief
04-24-2008, 02:09 PM
The difference between your son and his bully is, respect. Your son has been taught respect but his bully hasn't. Bullies are people who resort to derision, name-calling, and physical abuse because they are less secure of themselves than those who actually respect others.

That's why it is usually most effective to tackle the bully head on. Because, once he starts sobbing like a bitch, everyone watching has a better grasp on how much more integrity it takes to be empathetic and respectful (even towards the bully), AND, how weak and insecure bullies are, in general.

Phobia
04-24-2008, 02:11 PM
If the other kid is bigger, your kid has to outsmart him....

Embarrass him through practical jokes, leaving tacks on his chair, tying his shoes together, etc. Take credit for the strikes. If he makes the other kid cry, the other kid will either stop bullying or find a new target.

Otherwise befriend the bully and include him in other activities. Obviously the other boy feels threatened in some respect. Bullies are insecure. Chances are his parents' competitiveness has left him feeling short for some reason and he's compensating.

If all else fails, you may have to break out a bowl of antifreeze.

Sure-Oz
04-24-2008, 02:12 PM
Tell him to punch the kid in the nose and yell "O'doyle Rules!"

xbarretx
04-24-2008, 02:13 PM
Tell him to punch the kid in the nose and yell "O'doyle Rules!"

haha who rules?

ChiefsCountry
04-24-2008, 02:13 PM
Basketball to the nuts would work fine. Problem would be solved.

Sully
04-24-2008, 02:14 PM
He should start wearing all black, including a full length black trenchcoat. If possible, put makeup under his eyes to make hi look like he hasn't slept in 3 days, and teach him to mumble jibberish (but threatening jibberish) to himself. If none of that works, have him take a gun...


Or...you know... some of the more sensible ideas on this thread will probably be more effective. I like Phobia's idea the best.

Dicky McElephant
04-24-2008, 02:16 PM
I'm going to go out on a limb.

Invite the bully and his parents over for dinner.......and then have your whole family jump them.

Amnorix
04-24-2008, 02:19 PM
Here is where the problem comes in. I know the parents of this kid. In fact, we hang out pretty regularly. I would call us all friends.....to an extent.


I wouldn't...

Phobia
04-24-2008, 02:21 PM
I like Phobia's idea the best.

See - you're learning. You just avoided a major ass-whooping, puss.

Dicky McElephant
04-24-2008, 02:22 PM
See - you're learning. You just avoided a major ass-whooping, puss.

ROFL

stlchiefs
04-24-2008, 02:28 PM
Tell him to punch the kid in the nose and yell "O'doyle Rules!"

You stole my tag. :# O'Doyle RULES

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 02:30 PM
Listening to Chiefplanet advice is asking for trouble.

You have to call their parents and tell them that YOU(father) or the police will take care of the bully if they don't if it escalates.

Father is larger than the bully. Need to grab him by the neck and threaten him.

Seriously. No different than a parent teaching his own kid.

Phobia
04-24-2008, 02:31 PM
Don't ever take advice from the internet, but here - let me help you out with some advice from the internet because I'm a special kind of stupid.

stlchiefs
04-24-2008, 02:33 PM
Listening to Chiefplanet advice is asking for trouble.

You have to call their parents and tell them that YOU(father) or the police will take care of the bully if they don't if it escalates.

Father is larger than the bully. Need to grab him by the neck and threaten him.

Seriously. No different than a parent teaching his own kid.

Good thing you gave the guy a warning before your CP advice. Telling him to personally go after the bully? Yeah an adult going after a 3rd grader and taking him by the neck will go over real well. It's a lot different for another adult to physically "teach" someone else's kid than for a parent to "teach" their own child.

alanm
04-24-2008, 02:33 PM
Your son has to KICK HIS ASS. PERIOD. The sooner the better, too, because the older they get the messier the results can be. Third graders typically can't do all that much damage to each other.

Until your kid stands up for himself and gets this monkey off his back, he'll be miserable. Whining/tattling does no good.
Hate to say it but Tim nailed it.
The kid has to stand up to the other kid. No other way around it.
Next thing you know they'll probably end up being best friends.
It's happened that way for me. :)

Frazod
04-24-2008, 02:34 PM
Listening to Chiefplanet advice is asking for trouble.

You have to call their parents and tell them that YOU(father) or the police will take care of the bully if they don't if it escalates.

Father is larger than the bully. Need to grab him by the neck and threaten him.

Seriously. No different than a parent teaching his own kid.

Have you EVER posted any comment that wasn't completely f#cking stupid?

Welcome to my ignore list, dumbass. I really shouldn't have waited this long to do it, either.

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 02:35 PM
You're worse than stupid.

Your're retarded.

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 02:35 PM
Have you EVER posted any comment that wasn't completely f#cking stupid?

Welcome to my ignore list, dumbass. I really shouldn't have waited this long to do it, either.

SHUTUP PUSS

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-24-2008, 02:36 PM
I will start my kid in martial arts somewhere between 4 - 6. Teach him how to attack effectively. Even if he gets his ass whooped it will make him feel much better about himself and stop the bullying. I know all the Denise:Peace:TinkyWinky types will disagree with me but if you take matters into your own hands it will effect your son in a negative way for a very long time. Really lower his self-esteem.

I agree with this.

I wouldn't quite tell him to make the other kid bite the curb. You gotta know how to defend yourself.

As one of my friends once told me after he put a guy down outside of a bar, "motherf*ckers who start shit get dealt with real quick."

CoMoChief
04-24-2008, 02:36 PM
A basketball to the nose will stun the **** out of any 3rd grader.

Everytime he picks on your kid just tell your kid to do that. Eventually he will quit.

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 02:37 PM
Hate to say it but Tim nailed it.
The kid has to stand up to the other kid. No other way around it.
Next thing you know they'll probably end up being best friends.
It's happened that way for me. :)


Thats only in the movies you dumbshit.

The kid could be really thin and small.

He will just get his ass kicked again and again.

dumbass.

wutamess
04-24-2008, 02:37 PM
IMO you need to teach him how to fight, when to fight and when to walk away. He is better off to stand his ground and take a whuppin once than take several later.

Most guys won't mess with a guy who is willing to fight even if they think they can whip him. Best of luck to you and your kid, sometimes life aint fair and he needs to learn how to deal with it.


Best advice ever.
Thread over. There's nothing to see here people move along.


Anyhow, my parents used to say... First, tell the teacher (to CYA). If that didn't work, kick his ass and kick it good if he messes with you after that. The kid may be bigger but once he knows he's dealing with a little scrapper he'll think twice about approaching junior again.

Fat Elvis
04-24-2008, 02:38 PM
This reminds me of the time I got beat up by a girl in the fourth grade..

Let me start off by stating that my curiosity of the opposite sex began at a very early age. The whole, girls are gross thing never really applied to me. As early as the 2nd grade myself and a couple of buddies would take over the tire forts at recess and two of us would “guard” the fort while the third was inside playing “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”, which usually meant punching around in the girls panties. I don’t know what’s scarier, the fact that we did this as 8 year olds or the fact that we always found willing girls. As I assume most kids do, I always had a “girlfriend”.

In the 4th grade that girlfriend was Misty. Misty was the cute, popular girl with blond hair and blue eyes. Apparently 4th grade was a good year for me because all the girls would send me the “Will you go out with me? Yes/No Circle One” notes. One glorious day I received one of those notes from Jenny. Jenny was a fiery little red headed tom boy. She refused to play little league softball with the girls because she wanted to play baseball with the boys. Looking back on this I’m surprised she didn’t grow up to be a lesbian, but I digress. Apparently Jenny didn’t know I was “going out” with Misty so I checked yes and fired the note back to her. I now officially had two girlfriends and was on top of the world. This lasted all of roughly 2 hours.

Afternoon recess rolls around and Jenny and Misty confront me. I guess it didn’t take long for word to get out that I had two girlfriends. They demanded that I chose one on the spot. Naturally, I chose Misty (I’ve always been a sucker for Blonds). Before I finished speaking Misty’s name Jenny punched me twice in the face, it was a mean 1-2 combination. A crowd gathered all my buddies are urging me to kick her ass; it was your typical playground fight scene. One problem, my dad always told me if I ever hit a girl I might as well not bother coming home due to the amount of damage he would do to me with “the belt” once I got home. Knowing this I just stood there and took it, then it happened, Jenny wound up her right leg and, with the force of an Adam Vinatieri field goal attempt, drilled me right in the nuts. I dropped to my knees in tears and the teacher came to break up the crowd. I was devastated physically and emotionally. I just got my ass kicked by a girl.

School resumed and I told the teacher I was sick and needed to see the nurse. I convinced her to let me call my mother (a teacher at the same school) and let me go home for the day. Upon arriving home my mom tells dad the story and without hesitation he says, “If anyone boy or girl ever does that to you, you have every right to defend yourself. You can’t let them get away with that.”

Would have been great information the day before…

Technically, you got your balls kicked by a girl, not your ass. Big difference.

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 02:38 PM
I agree with this.

I wouldn't quite tell him to make the other kid bite the curb. You gotta know how to defend yourself.

As one of my friends once told me after he put a guy down outside of a bar, "motherf*ckers who start shit get dealt with real quick."

LOL. Do you apply the same theory to a 12 year old smacking around a 6 year old?

Count Alex's Losses
04-24-2008, 02:40 PM
I never got beat up by a girl, but one time one of them made me leave a spot on the playground just by staring at me.

tooge
04-24-2008, 02:40 PM
Your son has to KICK HIS ASS. PERIOD. The sooner the better, too, because the older they get the messier the results can be. Third graders typically can't do all that much damage to each other.

Until your kid stands up for himself and gets this monkey off his back, he'll be miserable. Whining/tattling does no good.

I agree. Bullies do what they do because they are simply pussies that aren't tough so they try to intimidate smaller kids. My kid is small and there was a bigger ked at school (preschool) picking on him. He always came home and told me how luke pushed him down all the time. I told him and showed him how to aim, and punch someone straight in the nose as hard as you can. I told him that he would probably get in trouble at school, and that I would have to talk to him about it, but it is what he needs to do if he wants it to stop. Well, guess what? About 4 months ago my wife calls to tell me she has to go pick him up at school cause he punched another kid and gave him a bloody nose. I was so proud of him, and still had to have "the talk" to him about it and how sometimes it is ok to do something wrong if it makes the situation right. The kid not only quit picking on him, but the teacher had him moved to another class on the kids parents request. Ha!

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 02:40 PM
Best advice ever.
Thread over. There's nothing to see here people move along.


Anyhow, my parents used to say... First, tell the teacher (to CYA). If that didn't work, kick his ass and kick it good if he messes with you after that. The kid may be bigger but once he knows he's dealing with a little scrapper he'll think twice about approaching junior again.

LOL.

stlchiefs
04-24-2008, 02:42 PM
LOL. Do you apply the same theory to a 12 year old smacking around a 6 year old?

Do you just make up facts? He said the kids are the same age and roughly the same size. Your stupidity shines brighter with every post.

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 02:42 PM
I agree. Bullies do what they do because they are simply pussies that aren't tough so they try to intimidate smaller kids. My kid is small and there was a bigger ked at school (preschool) picking on him. He always came home and told me how luke pushed him down all the time. I told him and showed him how to aim, and punch someone straight in the nose as hard as you can. I told him that he would probably get in trouble at school, and that I would have to talk to him about it, but it is what he needs to do if he wants it to stop. Well, guess what? About 4 months ago my wife calls to tell me she has to go pick him up at school cause he punched another kid and gave him a bloody nose. I was so proud of him, and still had to have "the talk" to him about it and how sometimes it is ok to do something wrong if it makes the situation right. The kid not only quit picking on him, but the teacher had him moved to another class on the kids parents request. Ha!


I guarantee a big kid could **** your kid up bad.

alanm
04-24-2008, 02:43 PM
Thats only in the movies you dumbshit.

The kid could be really thin and small.

He will just get his ass kicked again and again.

dumbass.
Just because it didn't work in your own personal experience don't expect Mr. Plows kid to be the same.
Better yet maybe we should send Plow's kid over to kick your ass instead.
Give the kid someone to break a sweat on before he goes and confronts his bully. ROFL

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 02:43 PM
Best advice ever.
Thread over. There's nothing to see here people move along.


Anyhow, my parents used to say... First, tell the teacher (to CYA). If that didn't work, kick his ass and kick it good if he messes with you after that. The kid may be bigger but once he knows he's dealing with a little scrapper he'll think twice about approaching junior again.


Haha. Don't you think he would kick his ass if he could.

stlchiefs
04-24-2008, 02:44 PM
I've never had to do it before, but how the hell does the ignore feature work? Is this guy for real?

Redrum_69
04-24-2008, 02:44 PM
I always just whined to the teacher.


now you just whine to Nick Athan

Frazod
04-24-2008, 02:46 PM
I've never had to do it before, but how the hell does the ignore feature work? Is this guy for real?

If you click on the retard's name, you'll get the option in the drop down menu.

It will ease your pain.

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 02:46 PM
Just because it didn't work in your own personal experience don't expect Mr. Plows kid to be the same.
Better yet maybe we should send Plow's kid over to kick your ass instead.
Give the kid someone to break a sweat on before he goes and confronts his bully. ROFL


Do you have any children.

Would you like me to kick their ass?

Yeah im bigger. But that shouldn't be a problem since you had your stupid kid take martial arts.

The bigger kid will always win the fight. Watch some boxing. They don't allow heavyweights to fight lighter weights.

Stupid.

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 02:47 PM
I've never had to do it before, but how the hell does the ignore feature work? Is this guy for real?


Getting bullied ??

stlchiefs
04-24-2008, 02:48 PM
If you click on the retard's name, you'll get the option in the drop down menu.

It will ease your pain.

Rep. :clap: The burning sensation in my eyes is beginning to subside.

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 02:48 PM
Do you have any children.

Would you like me to kick their ass?

Yeah im bigger. But that shouldn't be a problem since you had your stupid kid take martial arts.

The bigger kid will always win the fight. Watch some boxing. They don't allow heavyweights to fight lighter weights.

Stupid.


Tell that to the Gracies

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-24-2008, 02:49 PM
Do you have any children.

Would you like me to kick their ass?

Yeah im bigger. But that shouldn't be a problem since you had your stupid kid take martial arts.

The bigger kid will always win the fight. Watch some boxing. They don't allow heavyweights to fight lighter weights.

Stupid.

Watch and learn, jackass:

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lXgspempESU&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lXgspempESU&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

NewChief
04-24-2008, 02:49 PM
Do you have any children.

Would you like me to kick their ass?

Yeah im bigger. But that shouldn't be a problem since you had your stupid kid take martial arts.

The bigger kid will always win the fight. Watch some boxing. They don't allow heavyweights to fight lighter weights.

Stupid.


Dude. He said his son and the bully were the same age and same size.

alanm
04-24-2008, 02:49 PM
If you click on the retard's name, you'll get the option in the drop down menu.

It will ease your pain.
Is this douche nozzle for real?
Did his parents have any children that lived?:eek:

Valiant
04-24-2008, 02:52 PM
I know some of you out there are bullies (please stop picking on me), but I've got kind of a issue I'm looking for some advice on.

My oldest son - 9 years / 3rd grade - is having an issue with a bully at school. Like most bullies, the kid is a little bit bigger and just seems to pick on him. Luckily, they are both 3rd graders but in separate classes, so they only see each other at recess.

I've told my son that he needs to stand up for himself and avoid the situation if at all possible. Which he does. He plays with a few other kids at recess - typically basketball - but this bully, even playing other games, comes over to the basketball courts and starts picking on him. They don't play the same games, they don't hang out - it seems to be more of a this kid is seeking out my son.

Here is where the problem comes in. I know the parents of this kid. In fact, we hang out pretty regularly. I would call us all friends.....to an extent.

I know the first piece of advice someone will give is that since we are friends, talk to the parents. The problem, the parents don't care. We've attempted to have a conversation about it.....it goes in one ear and out the other. Their explanation - our son whines and it's not their kids fault.

I'm not the worlds best parent, I know that. But these parents are purely sports driven living vicariously through their children. Their kids, and themselves, have to be the best at everything - which in itself is mildly ironic. I like to call these type of people "1 Uppers".

My son got a 98% on his English Assessment test.....their son got a 100%. My son got a 84% on his Math Assessment....their son got a 87%. My son scored 8 points in the basketball game.....their son score 10.

Personally, I never had to deal with bullies growing up, so my advice is limited. I can tell him what I think, but it may not be correct.....or the best advice.

So, what advice would you give to your son/daughter dealing with a bully?

Is it bullying or is he getting picked on?? If your son is not getting beat up or coming home crying I would say a little negative reinforcement would help.. Is their a chance that your son is a whiner?? You said it yourself that you are friends(kind of) with they parents.. Do your boys not interact there?? If not maybe you should bring him along and hopefully the two reach a bond outside of class..

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 02:57 PM
Dude. He said his son and the bully were the same age and same size.


My oldest son - 9 years / 3rd grade - is having an issue with a bully at school. Like most bullies, the kid is a little bit bigger and just seems to pick on him.

He's bigger. Who knows really how much bigger.

If he's nearly the same size then he could take him.

My definition of bully is definitely some big ugly ogre that would take two people to take down.

Sure-Oz
04-24-2008, 02:57 PM
haha who rules?

ROFL

tooge
04-24-2008, 02:57 PM
I guarantee a big kid could **** your kid up bad.

I guarantee I could funk you up real bad. How's that. You may come from a 6 inch deep gene pool, but I dont, and therefore niether does my son. Not only would he not try to take on a kid that was huge compared to him, but any kid that would do that would have some splainin to do to me, the school, and their parents would have to convince me not to go midieval on their asses too.

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 03:00 PM
I guarantee I could funk you up real bad. How's that. You may come from a 6 inch deep gene pool, but I dont, and therefore niether does my son. Not only would he not try to take on a kid that was huge compared to him, but any kid that would do that would have some splainin to do to me, the school, and their parents would have to convince me not to go midieval on their asses too.

What?

Redrum_69
04-24-2008, 03:02 PM
I guarantee I could funk you up real bad. How's that. You may come from a 6 inch deep gene pool, but I dont, and therefore niether does my son. Not only would he not try to take on a kid that was huge compared to him, but any kid that would do that would have some splainin to do to me, the school, and their parents would have to convince me not to go midieval on their asses too.



Take it easy there Francis, geez.


Go to your timeout

Mr. Plow
04-24-2008, 03:03 PM
Is it bullying or is he getting picked on?? If your son is not getting beat up or coming home crying I would say a little negative reinforcement would help.. Is their a chance that your son is a whiner?? You said it yourself that you are friends(kind of) with they parents.. Do your boys not interact there?? If not maybe you should bring him along and hopefully the two reach a bond outside of class..

I would say bullying. The other kid walking across the playground to push my son around seems to be bullying to me....I could be wrong though.

I have been friends with the parents for about 4 years, but there - in my view - lack of parenting of their own children has caused me to rethink a lot of our friendship. Not only in this situation, but in others. Simply put, we've confronted them several times about how their kid acts towards our son, and in one case, their response was "Oh come on now, that's pretty funny."

They do bring their children over. My son pretty well just stays out of the way of this kid and plays more with their younger - I believe 7 year old son.

NewChief
04-24-2008, 03:03 PM
My oldest son - 9 years / 3rd grade - is having an issue with a bully at school. Like most bullies, the kid is a little bit bigger and just seems to pick on him.

He's bigger. Who knows really how much bigger.



Then there was this. (http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showpost.php?p=4706070&postcount=18)

He is in karate now. Started about 3 weeks ago. Honestly, I've never understood why my son allows this kid to do it. They are roughly the same size.

Redrum_69
04-24-2008, 03:03 PM
What?



This just in...pitbulls are being banned nationwide not only because they scare people...but bullies at school are using them as motivational tools to get kids milk money.

xbarretx
04-24-2008, 03:07 PM
Take it easy there Francis, geez.


Go to your timeout

hehe nice "Stripes" quote :)

are you our "big toe" sgt REdrum?

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 03:09 PM
This just in...pitbulls are being banned nationwide not only because they scare people...but bullies at school are using them as motivational tools to get kids milk money.

COOL :)

Redrum_69
04-24-2008, 03:09 PM
ROFLROFL


warpaint kills kids, wpi sources in 3rd grade

JohnnyV13
04-24-2008, 03:11 PM
Mr. Plow,

A lot of people on here are blowing sunshine up your butt. "Confront the bully, and he goes away." "Bullies are cowards." Sometimes that might be true. People would like to think it's always true. But, what you end up doing is blaming the victim for not being able to stop it, if the bully is persistant (think about all those mean people we watch on Sundays, who get more brutal if they get banged. Do you really think they were all saints when they were kids on a playground?). Or, if your kid is in a really bad social situation which has made him a perpetual target, by telling him that all he must do is "stand up" you end up making him feel worse about himself.

When the other guy is simply bigger, tougher and determined to push your kid around (and is generally supported by his peers), you end up telling your child that the problem lies in their character. I can't think of anything worse.

Karate is good. Ju Jitsu is better. The absolute BEST martial arts techniques to handle bullies are joint bending attacks. Basically, you take a wrist, elbow or finger and bend it the wrong way. You only do it just enough to hurt, and not enough to break (this takes training). The beauty of these techniques is no one gets hurt (they won't even have a bruise or a scratch). AND, if you do it in front of other people, the bully can often end up his knees begging you to stop.

THAT's how you make a bully stop. You make sure that he's knows you can embarrass him in front of his peers. The last thing the bully wants is to look foolish. No matter if his motivation is anger, desire to raise his status or he is simply mean, he's not going to want to end up publically humiliated.

If the bully is dissing you in public, I then think you're justified humiliating him in public (otherwise your kid is the one that gets beat down). But, preferably you don't do that wrist twist in front of everyone that first time. Public humiliation has its risks, because it can compel the bully to make another attack to "get even". At the 3rd grade level, in a middle class school, its not likely dangerous. But if you're in a gang banging atmosphere or an older setting, you can be playing with fire using the public humiliation route.

The other thing you need to tell your son is that if he's in a no win or potentially violent (as in, weapons can be involved) situation, there is no shame in backing down. If you are forced to retreat from a bully battle, you then need to come up with a plan to stop the bully. The overall mantra is, the bullied kid HAS TO BE SMART (especially if you're dealing with attackers much bigger or numerous than you are).

The final note: the best defense against bullies is friends. While you must make clear to your son that he can't depend on others to bail him out, friends will at least make sure that things don't get too out of hand before they intervene. That's the best defense against anyone ending up really hurt.

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 03:14 PM
Jiu-jitsu/Muay Thai

tooge
04-24-2008, 03:16 PM
What?

sorry guys, but when some punk ass starts talking about how someone is gonna **** up my kid, it gets me a bit testy. Plus, size really doesn't matter much, its heart, determination, technique, balance, all those things you normal folk get, that this cumguzzlin,nokidhavin,shittalkin, loser doesn't. My bad.

Valiant
04-24-2008, 03:27 PM
I would say bullying. The other kid walking across the playground to push my son around seems to be bullying to me....I could be wrong though.

I have been friends with the parents for about 4 years, but there - in my view - lack of parenting of their own children has caused me to rethink a lot of our friendship. Not only in this situation, but in others. Simply put, we've confronted them several times about how their kid acts towards our son, and in one case, their response was "Oh come on now, that's pretty funny."

They do bring their children over. My son pretty well just stays out of the way of this kid and plays more with their younger - I believe 7 year old son.

Ok, just trying to get an outside viewpoint..

If the kid is actually stalking your son and attacking him in any physical way then I agree with everyone else... Was just trying to make sure it was not some sort of brotherly or friendly attack(ie brothers fighting or friends making fun of each other)..

If you son truly does not like the boy or his tactics I think the best thing would be to distant your relationship with them also like everybody else said..

What is the age range of said parents to your own?? Are they still young parents like mid to late twenties??

------------

I think you are going down the correct path, but if only one person is picking on him I would not think a form of defense would be needed.. Having friends is a way more powerful tool..

Good luck in getting this resolved..

Adept Havelock
04-24-2008, 03:48 PM
As for bullies, in my experience the only way to deal with them is stand up to them, win or lose. If it's going to happen at school, I'd cover my kids ass legally first by making sure the school was aware...preferably a few seconds before the fight started. Otherwise, bring him along the next time you get together with your "friends".

JMO.

Is this douche nozzle for real?
Did his parents have any children that lived?:eek:

It's just marlboro chief, judging from syntax and posting style.

So the answer to your question is quite likely "no".

sorry guys, but when some punk ass starts talking about how someone is gonna **** up my kid, it gets me a bit testy. Plus, size really doesn't matter much, its heart, determination, technique, balance, all those things you normal folk get, that this cumguzzlin,nokidhavin,shittalkin, loser doesn't. My bad.

Eh, don't waste the time or emotion on a chest thumping idiot that apparently never heard of Judo.

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 03:49 PM
It's just marlboro chief, judging from syntax and posting style.

stfu STFU

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 03:51 PM
Mr. Plow,

A lot of people on here are blowing sunshine up your butt. "Confront the bully, and he goes away." "Bullies are cowards." Sometimes that might be true. People would like to think it's always true. But, what you end up doing is blaming the victim for not being able to stop it, if the bully is persistant (think about all those mean people we watch on Sundays, who get more brutal if they get banged. Do you really think they were all saints when they were kids on a playground?). Or, if your kid is in a really bad social situation which has made him a perpetual target, by telling him that all he must do is "stand up" you end up making him feel worse about himself.

When the other guy is simply bigger, tougher and determined to push your kid around (and is generally supported by his peers), you end up telling your child that the problem lies in their character. I can't think of anything worse.

Karate is good. Ju Jitsu is better. The absolute BEST martial arts techniques to handle bullies are joint bending attacks. Basically, you take a wrist, elbow or finger and bend it the wrong way. You only do it just enough to hurt, and not enough to break (this takes training). The beauty of these techniques is no one gets hurt (they won't even have a bruise or a scratch). AND, if you do it in front of other people, the bully can often end up his knees begging you to stop.

THAT's how you make a bully stop. You make sure that he's knows you can embarrass him in front of his peers. The last thing the bully wants is to look foolish. No matter if his motivation is anger, desire to raise his status or he is simply mean, he's not going to want to end up publically humiliated.

If the bully is dissing you in public, I then think you're justified humiliating him in public (otherwise your kid is the one that gets beat down). But, preferably you don't do that wrist twist in front of everyone that first time. Public humiliation has its risks, because it can compel the bully to make another attack to "get even". At the 3rd grade level, in a middle class school, its not likely dangerous. But if you're in a gang banging atmosphere or an older setting, you can be playing with fire using the public humiation route.

The other thing you need to tell your son is that if he's in a no win or potentially violent (as in, weapons can be involved) situation, there is no shame in backing down. If you are forced to retreat from a bully battle, you then need to come up with a plan to stop the bully. The overall mantra is, the bullied kid HAS TO BE SMART (especially if you're dealing with attacker much bigger or numerous than you are).

The final note: the best defense against bullies is friends. While you must make clear to your son that he can't depend on others to bail him out, friends will at least make sure that things don't get too out of hand before they intervene. That's the best defense against anyone ending up really hurt.


Asian shit don't work. You have never been in a real fight.

Adept Havelock
04-24-2008, 03:56 PM
stfu STFU

ROFL

Yet another brilliant riposte from marlboro chief/Chiefmanwillgetyou.

Thanks for the laughs. You're quite amusing for a clown.

marlboro chief/Chiefmanwillgetyou:

MOhillbilly
04-24-2008, 04:02 PM
mr. plow you need to assert youself for the sake of your sons well being. he may just be picking on him now but that could easly turn into a real problem down the road. if that means pissing off the parents of the other child or gettin into the administrations ass at school you need to do it.
no excuses.
but you already knew this.

if nothing else if you know some older kids pay them for protection.:)

JohnnyV13
04-24-2008, 04:07 PM
Asian shit don't work. You have never been in a real fight.

ROFL. I hope this is sarcasm. Otherwise, you REALLY need to watch some MMA. That stuff makes boxing look like a pansy sport.

stlchiefs
04-24-2008, 04:09 PM
Have the other family over for dinner. Sock the dad in the face and show your kid how it's done, then hit his kid while you're at it.

- Chiefmanwgy

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 04:11 PM
ROFL

Yet another brilliant riposte from marlboro chief/Chiefmanwillgetyou.

Thanks for the laughs. You're quite amusing for a clown.

marlboro chief/Chiefmanwillgetyou:


STFU you stupid sack of sh**.

If I'm this marlboro guy then you're my stool going down the drain.

Calling me a clown and names?

I bet you are pencil necked geek who likes to insult people over the net.

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 04:13 PM
ROFL. I hope this is sarcasm. Otherwise, you REALLY need to watch some MMA. That stuff makes boxing look like a pansy sport.


Asian shi* will only get your ass kicked. Get real.

I don't see anyone with asian shit like KUng fu or Karate in a real fight.

You will just get your ass kicked. No one uses asian shi* in street fighting.

Adept Havelock
04-24-2008, 04:14 PM
STFU you stupid sack of sh**.

If I'm this marlboro guy then you're my stool going down the drain.

Calling me a clown and names?

I bet you are pencil necked geek who likes to insult people over the net.

LMAO LMAO LMAO

Keep it up. I haven't had this good a laugh in a few days. Actually, calling you a clown was probably an overly-generous assessment, but by all means keep trying if it makes you feel better about yourself. :)

ROFL. I hope this is sarcasm. Otherwise, you REALLY need to watch some MMA. That stuff makes boxing look like a pansy sport.

Boxing is the "sweet science" and a damn intense sport, but MMA is just brutal.

As for the big kid always winning, ever watch someone who seriously knows Judo dealing with a "streetfighter"? It's hilarious. The streetfighter usually gets up in a bit of a daze wondering how they ended up all the way over there.

MOhillbilly
04-24-2008, 04:20 PM
ROFL. I hope this is sarcasm. Otherwise, you REALLY need to watch some MMA. That stuff makes boxing look like a pansy sport.
bullshit, nothing is more brutal than two guys toe 2 toe beating each other in the face for 12 rounds.

JohnnyV13
04-24-2008, 04:24 PM
LMAO Keep it up. Haven't had this good a laugh in a few days. Actually, calling you a clown was probably an overly-generous assessment, but by all means keep trying. :)



No kidding. As for the big kid always winning, ever watch someone who seriously knows Judo dealing with a "streetfighter"? It's hilarious. The streetfighter usually gets up in a daze wondering how they ended up all the way over there.


Actually, Adept I've never watched someone who seriously knows Judo dealing with a "streetfighter". I WAS the kid that seriously knew Judo that has dealt with a streetfighter. Of course, I actually think Ju Jitsu is better for a street fight. I trained in Judo because when I was coming up, Judo was the only martial art that was also an olympic sport.

Its funny how one little chokehold will panic someone who doesn't know how to handle it. I very well know the big kid doesn't always win. I also know there are people who are so big, strong and athletic I really don't want to fight them. That's coming from a guy that has fought in multiple national level judo tournaments.

Adept Havelock
04-24-2008, 04:26 PM
Actually, Adept I've never watched someone who seriously knows Judo dealing with a "streetfighter". I WAS the kid that seriously knew Judo that has dealt with a streetfighter. Of course, I actually think Ju Jitsu is better for a street fight. I trained in Judo because when I was coming up, Judo was the only martial art that was also an olympic sport.

Its funny how one little chokehold will panic someone who doesn't know how to handle it. I very well know the big kid doesn't always win. I also know there are people who are so big, strong and athletic I really don't want to fight them. That's coming from a guy that has fought in multiple national level judo tournaments.

I assure you, it's as entertaining to watch as I gather it is to do. :toast:

I've never had the privilege of watching Ju Jitsu in that situation, but I have no trouble believing it's even more effective.

I completely agree, there are always a few folks you just plain do not want to screw with. IMO, if there is absolutely no other choice that's one of the main reasons we made firearms in the first place.

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 04:30 PM
Ulitimate fighting is mostly wrestling

Molitoth
04-24-2008, 04:31 PM
All of you people preaching ninja training are talking about a 2-3 year plan. A good punch in the nose is instant gratification on stopping the problem.

Adept Havelock
04-24-2008, 04:33 PM
All of you people preaching ninja training are talking about a 2-3 year plan. A good punch in the nose is instant gratification on stopping the problem.

Agreed. Win or lose, standing up to them once or twice will usually take care of the situation.

bogey
04-24-2008, 04:38 PM
Everyone handles these situations differently. Talk to your son. Ask him how he would like it handled. Let him know there are many different ways to handle it and none of them are wrong, just different. It's possible it can be handled by the school administration, it's also possible if he gives one hard shove to the bullies chest knocking him to the ground may handle it. That being said, depending on your personality, I would without a doubt let the parents know that this is not acceptable. If they don't try to parent their child, let them know you will.

JohnnyV13
04-24-2008, 04:58 PM
All of you people preaching ninja training are talking about a 2-3 year plan. A good punch in the nose is instant gratification on stopping the problem.

Not necessarily. Any good self defense instructor can teach you fast and dirty techniques that can be effective even with little practice. In fact, I knew a martial arts guy that was also a cop, and his department had him instruct other cops in dirty fighting tactics. Despite what you might think, most cops aren't martial arts fanatics. Most simply pick up basic techniques in the police academy or in one day seminars taught by their departments.

wutamess
04-24-2008, 05:00 PM
Haha. Don't you think he would kick his ass if he could.


It's not how big they are but how good the first punch is. Unless the kid is just a monster over him I'd tell him that if the bully start shit again. To go for broke on his ass.

We used to get threatened by it... my parent's would say, "If he bothers you again and you don't do anything about it... I'm going to do something about you when you get home." No more bully problems after that.

The key is to tell the teacher though to CYA.
A good first punch and non stop flurry by young'n will go a long ways.

~Even if he gets his ass kicked.

wutamess
04-24-2008, 05:11 PM
Mr. Plow,

A lot of people on here are blowing sunshine up your butt. "Confront the bully, and he goes away." "Bullies are cowards." Sometimes that might be true. People would like to think it's always true. But, what you end up doing is blaming the victim for not being able to stop it, if the bully is persistant (think about all those mean people we watch on Sundays, who get more brutal if they get banged. Do you really think they were all saints when they were kids on a playground?). Or, if your kid is in a really bad social situation which has made him a perpetual target, by telling him that all he must do is "stand up" you end up making him feel worse about himself.

When the other guy is simply bigger, tougher and determined to push your kid around (and is generally supported by his peers), you end up telling your child that the problem lies in their character. I can't think of anything worse.

Karate is good. Ju Jitsu is better. The absolute BEST martial arts techniques to handle bullies are joint bending attacks. Basically, you take a wrist, elbow or finger and bend it the wrong way. You only do it just enough to hurt, and not enough to break (this takes training). The beauty of these techniques is no one gets hurt (they won't even have a bruise or a scratch). AND, if you do it in front of other people, the bully can often end up his knees begging you to stop.

THAT's how you make a bully stop. You make sure that he's knows you can embarrass him in front of his peers. The last thing the bully wants is to look foolish. No matter if his motivation is anger, desire to raise his status or he is simply mean, he's not going to want to end up publically humiliated.

If the bully is dissing you in public, I then think you're justified humiliating him in public (otherwise your kid is the one that gets beat down). But, preferably you don't do that wrist twist in front of everyone that first time. Public humiliation has its risks, because it can compel the bully to make another attack to "get even". At the 3rd grade level, in a middle class school, its not likely dangerous. But if you're in a gang banging atmosphere or an older setting, you can be playing with fire using the public humiliation route.

The other thing you need to tell your son is that if he's in a no win or potentially violent (as in, weapons can be involved) situation, there is no shame in backing down. If you are forced to retreat from a bully battle, you then need to come up with a plan to stop the bully. The overall mantra is, the bullied kid HAS TO BE SMART (especially if you're dealing with attackers much bigger or numerous than you are).

The final note: the best defense against bullies is friends. While you must make clear to your son that he can't depend on others to bail him out, friends will at least make sure that things don't get too out of hand before they intervene. That's the best defense against anyone ending up really hurt.

How much more pussification of the kids do you want?
Next time mister neandertahl bully gets foggy, hit the fuggin bully one good time in the nose and keep the swings coming not giving him a chance to retaliate & I guarandamtee the fugger will think twice about the next time he does it. It'll be over quicker than he thinks once the teachers break it up. And he can be called the winner. How's that for confidence & ego.

For 1: The teachers will stop it and (if he's told the teachers as I suggested) THE PARENT should handle it.

For 2: The one uppers will know that it's serious.

For 3: The bully will no longer do it again because he'll be watched and suspended on the next occurance.

Forget all of this... "you're demeaning your kids" tell him to get a "gang of friends" bull shit. Tell him to go for broke this once and he'll feel better about himself.

Can't believe someone actually told him not to defend himself in fear of failure to himself. So I guess him having to play on the other side of the playground does nothing to his ego either right? Fuggin tree-huggin libbies.

~SHEESH!

88TG88
04-24-2008, 05:31 PM
When I was in elementary I used to get picked on by the older kids on the yard. Then I started associating with the bigger kids in my grade. Everytime they came over we got in a group and they had my back in fights. Worked alot like prison, which is probably where the older dudes are now.

I would try something like that or ,like other people said, start a fight just to get it over with.

bogey
04-24-2008, 05:31 PM
How much more pussification of the kids do you want?
Hit the fuggin bully one good time in the nose and keep the swings coming not giving him a chance to retaliate & I guarandamtee the fugger will think twice about the next time he does it. It'll be over quicker than he thinks once the teachers break it up. And he can be called the winner. How's that for confidence & ego.

For 1: The teachers will stop it and (if he's told the teachers as I suggested) THE PARENT should handle it.

For 2: The one uppers will know that it's serious.

For 3: The bully will no longer do it again because he'll be watched and suspended on the next occurance.

Forget all of this... "you're demeaning your kids" tell him to get a "gang of friends" bull shit. Tell him to go for broke this once and he'll feel better about himself.

Can't believe someone actually told him not to defend himself in fear of failure to himself. So I guess him having to play on the other side of the playground does nothing to his ego either right? Fuggin tree-huggin libbies.

~SHEESH!

20 years ago, I would agree. Not so sure I agree with todays society. There are so many sue happy, expel, incarcerate people out there, I fear the outcome could be negative.

wutamess
04-24-2008, 05:33 PM
20 years ago, I would agree. Not so sure I agree with todays society. There are so many sue happy, expel, incarcerate people out there, I fear the outcome could be negative.


As long as the teacher was told & the bully starts it, to hell with a sue/expel mongers.
Get it over with.
Besides, it wouldn't be too hard to figure out what happened when a little kid is fighting a bigger kid.

bogey
04-24-2008, 05:48 PM
As long as the teacher was told & the bully starts it, to hell with a sue/expel mongers.
Get it over with.
Besides, it wouldn't be too hard to figure out what happened when a little kid is fighting a bigger kid.


I don't disagree. I do think it's easier said than done though. I was a small kid in high school. There was a kid my same size that kept picking on me and I kept taking it because his best friend was the biggest guy in class. One day, at the local pool, he started picking on me but his big friend wasn't around. I had finally had enough. I literally picked the little ****er up, slammed him against the fence and then flung him into the pool. It shocked me how easy it was to manhandle the little ****er. He was totally humiliated. From that day on he left me alone. I vividly remember that moment to this day, and that was over 30 years ago.

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 05:52 PM
How much more pussification of the kids do you want?
Next time mister neandertahl bully gets foggy, hit the fuggin bully one good time in the nose and keep the swings coming not giving him a chance to retaliate & I guarandamtee the fugger will think twice about the next time he does it. It'll be over quicker than he thinks once the teachers break it up. And he can be called the winner. How's that for confidence & ego.

For 1: The teachers will stop it and (if he's told the teachers as I suggested) THE PARENT should handle it.

For 2: The one uppers will know that it's serious.

For 3: The bully will no longer do it again because he'll be watched and suspended on the next occurance.

Forget all of this... "you're demeaning your kids" tell him to get a "gang of friends" bull shit. Tell him to go for broke this once and he'll feel better about himself.

Can't believe someone actually told him not to defend himself in fear of failure to himself. So I guess him having to play on the other side of the playground does nothing to his ego either right? Fuggin tree-huggin libbies.

~SHEESH!

Oh no, somebody get this guy some estrogen quick.

LiL stumppy
04-24-2008, 05:54 PM
Have him and a few friends kick the kids arse. Have them all get tattoos so it looks like their in a gang. No one will mess with them again. Promise.

Brock
04-24-2008, 06:02 PM
Have him and a few friends kick the kids arse. Have them all get tattoos so it looks like their in a gang. No one will mess with them again. Promise.

What if the tattoos are of pink unicorns?

macdawg
04-24-2008, 06:06 PM
Mr. Plow my .02

1. A little bit of bullying won't hurt the kid, probably even good for him to toughen him up a bit & teach him a bit about the world, this won't change as he gets older as even adults get in confrontations they didn't intend to.

2. Just let him know it doesn't matter what this bully thinks of him, you love him no matter what.

3. Get your son in a physical sport, best in the world IMO is wrestling, good sport & guaranteed to toughen you up and will give him skills for school yard brawls. Most importantly, it will toughen him up physical & mentally and teach him something about one on one physical competition. I think a lot of martial arts schools teach kids fluff that won't increase self defense skills and worse of all can give them a false sense of security, which will only lead to them getting their asses kicked.

JohnnyV13
04-24-2008, 06:08 PM
How much more pussification of the kids do you want?
Next time mister neandertahl bully gets foggy, hit the fuggin bully one good time in the nose and keep the swings coming not giving him a chance to retaliate & I guarandamtee the fugger will think twice about the next time he does it. It'll be over quicker than he thinks once the teachers break it up. And he can be called the winner. How's that for confidence & ego.

For 1: The teachers will stop it and (if he's told the teachers as I suggested) THE PARENT should handle it.

For 2: The one uppers will know that it's serious.

For 3: The bully will no longer do it again because he'll be watched and suspended on the next occurance.

Forget all of this... "you're demeaning your kids" tell him to get a "gang of friends" bull shit. Tell him to go for broke this once and he'll feel better about himself.

Can't believe someone actually told him not to defend himself in fear of failure to himself. So I guess him having to play on the other side of the playground does nothing to his ego either right? Fuggin tree-huggin libbies.

~SHEESH!

Hey dumbass, use some common sense.

There are true "no win" scenarios. I understand they aren't going to apply in a normal, middle class school situation, but do you really want to tell some kid the only "acceptable" response is to "stand up" when some other kid, backed up by two friends, pulls a knife? (I'm not trying to say that happened to me).

I once was getting bullied by this guy and his two friends right before school. The guy pushes me so of course I shove him back. The three of them then pick me up and throw me head first into the school dumpster. (Which by the way, didn't have that much trash. I hit bottom pretty damn hard and ended up cutting myself on some broken glass. I ended up lying to the teacher and said I fell down in the grass before the bell). Now, avoiding this situation might have been quite a bit smarter than shoving Mr. Bully back and picking another time to go after this guy. Imagine a situation like this in a rougher school with the children of crack whore mothers. Might backing out of this situation be better than standing up, at least until you're in a better situation?

Mr. Flopnuts
04-24-2008, 06:10 PM
Seems like most elementary schools have a no tolerance policy for these situations. If your son defends himself, he might be the one on suspension as it's usually the second guy that gets busted.
Delicately let the school counselor know what is going on and have them intercede if it truly is a bully situation. If that doesn't work, have your son bust his chops and that should end it.

An elementary school suspension is not the end of the world. Tell your son to find him and punch him in the mouth. If HE instigates it, the bully will likely realize that he pushed the kid too far.

ChiefaRoo
04-24-2008, 06:21 PM
I know some of you out there are bullies (please stop picking on me), but I've got kind of a issue I'm looking for some advice on.

My oldest son - 9 years / 3rd grade - is having an issue with a bully at school. Like most bullies, the kid is a little bit bigger and just seems to pick on him. Luckily, they are both 3rd graders but in separate classes, so they only see each other at recess.

I've told my son that he needs to stand up for himself and avoid the situation if at all possible. Which he does. He plays with a few other kids at recess - typically basketball - but this bully, even playing other games, comes over to the basketball courts and starts picking on him. They don't play the same games, they don't hang out - it seems to be more of a this kid is seeking out my son.

Here is where the problem comes in. I know the parents of this kid. In fact, we hang out pretty regularly. I would call us all friends.....to an extent.

I know the first piece of advice someone will give is that since we are friends, talk to the parents. The problem, the parents don't care. We've attempted to have a conversation about it.....it goes in one ear and out the other. Their explanation - our son whines and it's not their kids fault.

I'm not the worlds best parent, I know that. But these parents are purely sports driven living vicariously through their children. Their kids, and themselves, have to be the best at everything - which in itself is mildly ironic. I like to call these type of people "1 Uppers".

My son got a 98% on his English Assessment test.....their son got a 100%. My son got a 84% on his Math Assessment....their son got a 87%. My son scored 8 points in the basketball game.....their son score 10.

Personally, I never had to deal with bullies growing up, so my advice is limited. I can tell him what I think, but it may not be correct.....or the best advice.

So, what advice would you give to your son/daughter dealing with a bully?

Have your son punch him square in the face the next time he seeks him out at recess to bully him. He shouldn't say a word, he shouldn't try to reason he should simply pop him in the face, hard. 9 out of 10 times the bully will not only back down but your sons class status rating will go through the roof. I'm a big believer in justified and measured physcial force if a bully is actively seeking you out and you can't simply avoid them.

Your kid will get suspended if he blacks the other kids eye but it's worth it and when you get called in you back your kid to the principal 100%.

I had this same scenario in middle school and HS. Both guys never bothered me again because one just figured it wasn't worth it and the other guy had a shiner for 3 weeks.

ChiefaRoo
04-24-2008, 06:24 PM
tell your kid to punch him in the face. bullies are cowards. they want easy targets to assert authority over. they don't want resistance.

this is a teachable experience. stand up for yourself or not. it will propagate to other life experiences.


Yep, if you get bullied in school you'll get bullied in life. Simple as that.

bogey
04-24-2008, 06:24 PM
Have your son punch him square in the face the next time he seeks him out at recess to bully him. He shouldn't say a word, he shouldn't try to reason he should simply pop him in the face, hard. 9 out of 10 times the bully will not only back down but your sons class status rating will go through the roof. I'm a big believer in justified and measured physcial force if a bully is actively seeking you out and you can't simply avoid them.

Your kid will get suspended if he blacks the other kids eye but it's worth it and when you get called in you back your kid to the principal 100%.

I had this same scenario in middle school and HS. Both guys never bothered me again because one just figured it wasn't worth it and the other guy had a shiner for 3 weeks.

In a perfect world this would be the answer. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world.

BIG_DADDY
04-24-2008, 06:28 PM
Now, avoiding this situation might have been quite a bit smarter than shoving Mr. Bully back and picking another time to go after this guy. Imagine a situation like this in a rougher school with the children of crack whore mothers. Might backing out of this situation be better than standing up, at least until you're in a better situation?


No if you had coward it would have gotten worse. As it was it ended. Trying use ridiculous metaphores isn't a good idea either. If you were approached by a gang of Hells Angles armed with automatic weapons it might be best to act like a girl and offer them blowjobs isn't really relevant here. It's one bully slightly bigger than him. IMO if you want to help give him advise for that situation instead of others.

ChiefaRoo
04-24-2008, 06:30 PM
In a perfect world this would be the answer. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world.


It worked in my little school in the middle of KS. If this guys kid is going to some kind of ghetto nightmare school it might not work. IF it's a ghetto school, get the kid the fook out of there and put him in a good school even if you have to eat Mac and Cheese to do it. This is an important life lesson.

ChiefaRoo
04-24-2008, 06:33 PM
In a perfect world this would be the answer. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world.

Now bogey if you tried that shite on me today with all your Cali bull shite I'd simply drive into Hollywood and hire a guy to punk your ass on your way to work for a few Grand. :)

Bwana
04-24-2008, 07:11 PM
Get your kid into martial arts.

Bwana
04-24-2008, 07:22 PM
If you were approached by a gang of Hells Angles armed with automatic weapons it might be best to act like a girl and offer them blowjobs isn't really relevant here.

LMAO

rep

banyon
04-24-2008, 07:31 PM
Apparently this (http://www.dodgeboard.com/forums/usd-443/5948-our-school.html)is what counts as bullying in Dodge City:

I was just told by my great niece why they had moved out of Dodge City. My great niece's husband had been deployed to Iraq. So she moved her and the kids back to Dodge, where she has family and she grew up! She put her oldest girl in school here and thought that every thing would be just fine! Little did she know of all the garbage that we have here in Dodge, and in the schools! Opal, (not her real name) attended the 5th and 6th grade center. It did not take long for Chris to see that her daughter kept coming home from school in tears, "EVERYDAY"! Upon asking OPAL what was wrong, she replied that she could not tell. After about another week of this Chris told Opal that they were going to go the the school and talk with the Principal and find out just what was wrong, and what was going on. Opal finally told her mother that since the start of school, she had been constantly harassed because she was the only "CAUCASIAN" in the class and that all the others were "Latinos". These "students" would catch her in the restrooms and would hit her until she ran out. Other times, they would just "hit" her and tell her that this was "THEIR" school and that she had no right even being there! Chris talked with the Principal and the teachers and was told that they would see that this was stopped and find out who was doing this. (RIGHT!) Absolutely NOTHING was done! It finally had gotten to the point that Chris had too move the children and her to another city just to make sure her children would be safe! I have heard BS before but this takes the cake! These little ingrates should have been thrown out of the "FREE" school that is provided to them because of the tax paying "CITIZENS" of this city! This "Minority" crap has gotten just absurd! First, I would think it should be required that the parents should be "CITIZENS" before any schooling be provided to any of them. I don't think that any NON citizen, let alone those who break our laws should have any "RIGHTS" in this country at all! Let alone be allowed to any "HANDOUTS" that are currently being given them and not some of the citizens who need this more than them! And why is to schools allowing this kind of crap to be going on in the first place? And why are gang members that are known, not booted out of school and never allowed to come back? They don't promote one thing other than this gang crap! Now, another school is being built but you can bet your bottom dollar that its not being built because of to many children who are CITIZENS, that also is for certain! What is with all of this crap? And WHY are our elected officials here, not doing one thing to correct this abuse, not to mention all of the other abuse that is going on here? Election time is not far away! It is past time that we "TRY" and elect only those who will actually try and put an end to this b#llshI*t! I would think that "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH" don't you?

I guess consider yourself lucky.:(

bogey
04-24-2008, 07:32 PM
Now bogey if you tried that shite on me today with all your Cali bull shite I'd simply drive into Hollywood and hire a guy to punk your ass on your way to work for a few Grand. :)

:) It could be done for a lot less than a few grand.

bogey
04-24-2008, 07:37 PM
Apparently this (http://www.dodgeboard.com/forums/usd-443/5948-our-school.html)is what counts as bullying in Dodge City:

I was just told by my great niece why they had moved out of Dodge City. My great niece's husband had been deployed to Iraq. So she moved her and the kids back to Dodge, where she has family and she grew up! She put her oldest girl in school here and thought that every thing would be just fine! Little did she know of all the garbage that we have here in Dodge, and in the schools! Opal, (not her real name) attended the 5th and 6th grade center. It did not take long for Chris to see that her daughter kept coming home from school in tears, "EVERYDAY"! Upon asking OPAL what was wrong, she replied that she could not tell. After about another week of this Chris told Opal that they were going to go the the school and talk with the Principal and find out just what was wrong, and what was going on. Opal finally told her mother that since the start of school, she had been constantly harassed because she was the only "CAUCASIAN" in the class and that all the others were "Latinos". These "students" would catch her in the restrooms and would hit her until she ran out. Other times, they would just "hit" her and tell her that this was "THEIR" school and that she had no right even being there! Chris talked with the Principal and the teachers and was told that they would see that this was stopped and find out who was doing this. (RIGHT!) Absolutely NOTHING was done! It finally had gotten to the point that Chris had too move the children and her to another city just to make sure her children would be safe! I have heard BS before but this takes the cake! These little ingrates should have been thrown out of the "FREE" school that is provided to them because of the tax paying "CITIZENS" of this city! This "Minority" crap has gotten just absurd! First, I would think it should be required that the parents should be "CITIZENS" before any schooling be provided to any of them. I don't think that any NON citizen, let alone those who break our laws should have any "RIGHTS" in this country at all! Let alone be allowed to any "HANDOUTS" that are currently being given them and not some of the citizens who need this more than them! And why is to schools allowing this kind of crap to be going on in the first place? And why are gang members that are known, not booted out of school and never allowed to come back? They don't promote one thing other than this gang crap! Now, another school is being built but you can bet your bottom dollar that its not being built because of to many children who are CITIZENS, that also is for certain! What is with all of this crap? And WHY are our elected officials here, not doing one thing to correct this abuse, not to mention all of the other abuse that is going on here? Election time is not far away! It is past time that we "TRY" and elect only those who will actually try and put an end to this b#llshI*t! I would think that "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH" don't you?

I guess consider yourself lucky.:(

That's a shame. No child should have to go through this.

memyselfI
04-24-2008, 07:40 PM
The problem, the parents don't care. We've attempted to have a conversation about it.....it goes in one ear and out the other. Their explanation - our son whines and it's not their kids fault.

I'm not the worlds best parent, I know that. But these parents are purely sports driven living vicariously through their children. Their kids, and themselves, have to be the best at everything - which in itself is mildly ironic. I like to call these type of people "1 Uppers".

My son got a 98% on his English Assessment test.....their son got a 100%. My son got a 84% on his Math Assessment....their son got a 87%. My son scored 8 points in the basketball game.....their son score 10.

I haven't read the responses so I'm sorry if I'm repeating previous advice. Actually, the problem is YOU but so is the solution.

You and your family need to get these people out of your lives. They are toxic people who are not your friends at all. Have your son ignore the kid who's bullying him because to engage him simply encourages and reinforces the bullies behavior.

Don't make a big spectacle about breaking off the friendship. Just start being less available while still being civil. These people are not worth your time and you need to ask yourself if the quality and value of the relationship they give is worth the disrespect they feel towards you and your child.

Also ask yourself, how is your child supposed to learn how to deal with a bully when you yourself are being bullied by the kids parents? Are you sending your son mixed messages by on the one hand saying their kid's behavior is bad but then continuing in a relationship that enables and reinforces that behavior?

ChiefaRoo
04-24-2008, 07:48 PM
:) It could be done for a lot less than a few grand.

;)

Chiefmanwillcatch
04-24-2008, 07:51 PM
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ChiefaRoo
04-24-2008, 08:05 PM
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KO. Karate fag 1, dumbass 0

wutamess
04-24-2008, 08:24 PM
Hey dumbass, use some common sense.

There are true "no win" scenarios. I understand they aren't going to apply in a normal, middle class school situation, but do you really want to tell some kid the only "acceptable" response is to "stand up" when some other kid, backed up by two friends, pulls a knife? (I'm not trying to say that happened to me).

I once was getting bullied by this guy and his two friends right before school. The guy pushes me so of course I shove him back. The three of them then pick me up and throw me head first into the school dumpster. (Which by the way, didn't have that much trash. I hit bottom pretty damn hard and ended up cutting myself on some broken glass. I ended up lying to the teacher and said I fell down in the grass before the bell). Now, avoiding this situation might have been quite a bit smarter than shoving Mr. Bully back and picking another time to go after this guy. Imagine a situation like this in a rougher school with the children of crack whore mothers. Might backing out of this situation be better than standing up, at least until you're in a better situation?


That's what you get for being ignorant you dumb fugg.
Since his issue is only with one bully your scenarios have no relevance.

Simple concept: Advise for the situation given to you.

You're one of them types... Your supervisor comes with a proposal and you think of a million different possibilities as to why something may not be able to get accomplished.

~You're that guy: The ultimate planner.

JohnnyV13
04-24-2008, 08:48 PM
When I was approached by a gang of Hells Angles armed with automatic weapons and I acted like a girl and offered them blowjobs isn't really relevant here.

That's quite interesting. But, I really didn't want to hear about your dating history.

You can believe what you want, but "confronting" the bully doesn't work unless you can do something effective to him. If you try to "stand up" and instead are totally ineffective, bullies feel even more powerful and they get an even bigger kick out of messing with you. That's why fighting the wrong battle can make things worse.

R8RFAN
04-24-2008, 08:59 PM
Your son does not have to win a fight with a bully to stop a bully from messing with him, he does have to knock the shit out of him though...

Once you hit a person hard, regardless if you win or lose the fight, most people won't bother you anymore because even though they kicked your ass it still hurts to get hit hard...

Don't let your kid avoid a bully, that just adds fuel to the bullies confidence...

JohnnyV13
04-24-2008, 09:12 PM
That's what you get for being ignorant you dumb fugg.
Since his issue is only with one bully your scenarios have no relevance.

Simple concept: Advise for the situation given to you.

You're one of them types... Your supervisor comes with a proposal and you think of a million different possibilities as to why something may not be able to get accomplished.

~You're that guy: The ultimate planner.

Sigh. Perhaps that's somewhat true. Then again, I also had to deal with a lot situations where that "stand up to the bully" advice didn't exactly cover the problem.

Mr. Plow
04-24-2008, 09:52 PM
I really appreciate all the advice. I'm surprised this thread went on as long as it has.

I had a nice long talk with my son this evening. You all pretty well backed up what I had been telling him......stand up for yourself.

I explained to him that while I don't condone fighting, if he ever got into a fight because he was defending himself, he wouldn't be punished by myself or my wife.

We talked a little bit about how to punch that we will continue to work on. I've essentially told him that if the need arises, to go for the nose. One good solid punch to the nose gives him the upper hand.

I even hate to admit it, but both Redrum (linking of article) and memyselfI (putting the initial blame on us as parents for having this family in our lives) gave some solid advice.

I really hope this doesn't come to fists, but if it does, so be it. I told my son that while I'll back him 100%, I won't come to his rescue. He'll need to stand up to this kid himself. I said one push, try to talk your way out of it. Two pushes, use the rock back to pop him in the nose.

ChiefaRoo
04-24-2008, 10:00 PM
I really appreciate all the advice. I'm surprised this thread went on as long as it has.

I had a nice long talk with my son this evening. You all pretty well backed up what I had been telling him......stand up for yourself.

I explained to him that while I don't condone fighting, if he ever got into a fight because he was defending himself, he wouldn't be punished by myself or my wife.

We talked a little bit about how to punch that we will continue to work on. I've essentially told him that if the need arises, to go for the nose. One good solid punch to the nose gives him the upper hand.

I even hate to admit it, but both Redrum (linking of article) and memyselfI (putting the initial blame on us as parents for having this family in our lives) gave some solid advice.

I really hope this doesn't come to fists, but if it does, so be it. I told my son that while I'll back him 100%, I won't come to his rescue. He'll need to stand up to this kid himself. I said one push, try to talk your way out of it. Two pushes, use the rock back to pop him in the nose.

I think you gave him some good advice. Try to avoid the situation, then try to stop it verbally and if it persists then dot that kids eye.

Mr. Plow
04-24-2008, 10:04 PM
I'd honestly give everyone some rep if it wouldn't take so long to go through 169 posts. Consider this a "Multi Rep" rep to everyone!











PS....antifreeze

Skip Towne
04-24-2008, 10:26 PM
I remember one time, in 5th grade, we were on a restroom break, and some dudes tried to give me a swirly. They were pushing me into the stall, like three of them, and I really didn't want a swirly. So I braced my arms against the sides of the stall, and held on with all my might. They could not move me. I was Hercules. And then the bell rang.

Finish the story, after school they caught you and butt f*cked you and you found you liked it.

BIG K
04-24-2008, 10:43 PM
I had a bully in 3rd grade. Broke his leg after throwing a cinder block at him one day.....No more bully.

BIG K
04-24-2008, 10:53 PM
Your son does not have to win a fight with a bully to stop a bully from messing with him, he does have to knock the shit out of him though...

Once you hit a person hard, regardless if you win or lose the fight, most people won't bother you anymore because even though they kicked your ass it still hurts to get hit hard...

Don't let your kid avoid a bully, that just adds fuel to the bullies confidence...

As I used to tell the cons' in corrections, I would rather get my ass beat then to walk away....But that is me, I am a grown man. Sorry, can't offer much help to you....

TinyEvel
04-24-2008, 10:59 PM
When I was in 6th grade I got bullied so hard the entire block was in cahoots to beat me up after school. They blocked every exit of the school. I went through the kindergarten area and jumped the fence, then headed down a cul-de-sac and through someone's backyard. I took the long way around the block and got to my street only to find five of them waiting in a line across it.
I took 7/8 open-end wrench out of my backpack and ran at them swinging this thing in 360 degrees helicopter fashion. I got one of them in the forearm, thus breaking through the gauntlet and ran the rest of the way home. My mom then screamed them off our front lawn.

The next day I went to school with a monkey (pipe) wrench and bear trap BMX pedals (to be used as brass knuckles) on them.

The teacher got wind of this and I got suspended.

But word of this got out that I was a crazy mo-fo and nobody messed with me again. I got really good at doing the "crazy eyes" move on potential bullies after that.

I am just lucky my dad never kept guns. This could have been a 5-oclock news story very easily.

Skip Towne
04-24-2008, 11:00 PM
I've found the best defense against bullies is having big arms and chest. Bullies are cowards who don't want to get whipped and will shy away from those who appear capable of doing it.

BIG K
04-24-2008, 11:40 PM
I've found the best defense against bullies is having big arms and chest. Bullies are cowards who don't want to get whipped and will shy away from those who appear capable of doing it.

True in dealing with pussy wanna be bullies, those who intimidate easily. The spirit of the confrontation and your poise will ultimately deter. When there is no fear in your eyes, regardless of size, most will back down. After 12 years in the jail, I can tell you that the size of the dog in the fight matters less then the size of fight in the dog....

banyon
04-24-2008, 11:51 PM
True in dealing with pussy wanna be bullies, those who intimidate easily. The spirit of the confrontation and your poise will ultimately deter. When there is no fear in your eyes, regardless of size, most will back down. After 12 years in the jail, I can tell you that the size of the dog in the fight matters less then the size of fight in the dog....

Dude were you IN the jail or AT the jail?

BIG K
04-25-2008, 12:10 AM
Dude were you IN the jail or AT the jail?

LOL!:)

I was AT the jail for twelve years, NOT in it.....:D

Extra Point
04-25-2008, 12:14 AM
Find a way to call Daddy's ass out, in front of Mama. If they can't play according to the rules, as you ask your kid to play, since you play according to the rules, they aren't your friends, and their kid isn't your kids friend.

stlchiefs
04-25-2008, 12:25 AM
When I was in 6th grade I got bullied so hard the entire block was in cahoots to beat me up after school. They blocked every exit of the school. I went through the kindergarten area and jumped the fence, then headed down a cul-de-sac and through someone's backyard. I took the long way around the block and got to my street only to find five of them waiting in a line across it.
I took 7/8 open-end wrench out of my backpack and ran at them swinging this thing in 360 degrees helicopter fashion. I got one of them in the forearm, thus breaking through the gauntlet and ran the rest of the way home. My mom then screamed them off our front lawn.

The next day I went to school with a monkey (pipe) wrench and bear trap BMX pedals (to be used as brass knuckles) on them.

The teacher got wind of this and I got suspended.

But word of this got out that I was a crazy mo-fo and nobody messed with me again. I got really good at doing the "crazy eyes" move on potential bullies after that.

I am just lucky my dad never kept guns. This could have been a 5-oclock news story very easily.

Who carries a wrench in their backpack in 6th grade? TinyE was part of the trenchcoat mafia before there was a trenchcoat mafia.

Fruit Ninja
04-25-2008, 01:16 AM
My pops used to say just hit them right in the nose. Get the first swing off. They will back off. They usually do, unless the bully is just a animal. Then ya may have problems, but at least he stood up for himself.

PhillyChiefFan
04-25-2008, 07:24 AM
two words...

Krav Maga

It would give your son confidence and if it comes down to it a physical advantage this kid would never see coming.

memyselfI
04-25-2008, 07:26 AM
It sounds like you empowered your son with knowledge about how to fight back in both the physical and psychological ways. Bravo.

One of my favorite sayings in the entire world is this:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your CONSENT."-Eleanor Roosevelt

It's a tough love kind of saying but once you get over the fact that you bear some responsibility in the situation then it also enables you to see how to fix it.

Trust me, the parents of this kid won't get it and never will. Therefore, it's incumbent on you and your family to ditch their sorry asses and find people who value you and your son and want the BEST for you even in friendly competition. Even if it means they 'lose' sometimes they feel joy to see your son win because that is what true friends do.

suds79
04-25-2008, 07:57 AM
I know I'm late in getting in on this so there's probably already better advice but I'll share my 2 cents.

When I was younger I had a dad who was a teacher and based on that (long story), I caught a lot of sh!t from this one bully in particular. I wasn't a big kid and kinda shy so I didn't really stand up for myself. I'm over it now but looking back, I wish I would decked the kid. Sure maybe it would of turned out that I would of gotten an @$$ beating (big deal) but I honestly don't know how he would of reacted if I would of stood up to him. So that's something I wish I would of always done.

BucEyedPea
04-25-2008, 08:36 AM
Mr. Plow,
I've had experience with bullies. It was my neighbor's older boy hitting my little girl at age 2 and 3. The Mom wasn't concerned but was concerned when I told mine to give it back to him. And when she did, the Mom was over here about it too. This is a boy 1.5 years older getting a mild wack from a petite toddler. Luckily she's no longer my neighbor.

I didn't get if the other boy is beating your son up or just tormenting him with words. If he's doing something physical and your boy is smaller he's gonna need martial arts or a gang to help beat the putz up. One time should do it. But I wouldn't do it on school property. If it's just words. He'll have to ignore him. But I'd definitely would dump his parents as friends.

BucEyedPea
04-25-2008, 08:45 AM
I know I'm late in getting in on this so there's probably already better advice but I'll share my 2 cents.

When I was younger I had a dad who was a teacher and based on that (long story), I caught a lot of sh!t from this one bully in particular. I wasn't a big kid and kinda shy so I didn't really stand up for myself. I'm over it now but looking back, I wish I would decked the kid. Sure maybe it would of turned out that I would of gotten an @$$ beating (big deal) but I honestly don't know how he would of reacted if I would of stood up to him. So that's something I wish I would of always done.

There were a couple of boys who were bullies I know of that were really causing trouble for a number of kids....including barring them from passing through an area and threatening kids if they did. One day a bigger boy just a bit older hid behind a fence and jumped them when they came intimidate some kids passing through. They got beaten up badly but not injured. It never happened again.

I know of a girl here,a young teen, who was new at the public HS and very pretty and also very smart. When one of the most sought after popular boys took an interest in her they tormented the hell out of her. One day these so called popular girls cornered her on a sports field with no one around. One girl went at her physically but the new girl had taken Taekwondo for years. All she did was do something like bend the girls fingers back with some Taekwondo move and the girl went running, along with her group, crying her eyes out. But she was left alone after that.

Mr. Plow
04-25-2008, 09:00 AM
I didn't get if the other boy is beating your son up or just tormenting him with words. If he's doing something physical and your boy is smaller he's gonna need martial arts or a gang to help beat the putz up. One time should do it. But I wouldn't do it on school property. If it's just words. He'll have to ignore him. But I'd definitely would dump his parents as friends.

From what my son is telling me, it's a little bit of both. I wouldn't say this kid is beating my son up, but he is pushing him around a bit. There are also put downs and such from this kid. All of this is part of life and he'll deal with it until he is old, which is why I want him to stand up for himself. Like a lot of you have said, if he does it now, it will only help his confidence.

Braincase
04-25-2008, 09:54 AM
From what my son is telling me, it's a little bit of both. I wouldn't say this kid is beating my son up, but he is pushing him around a bit. There are also put downs and such from this kid. All of this is part of life and he'll deal with it until he is old, which is why I want him to stand up for himself. Like a lot of you have said, if he does it now, it will only help his confidence.

Have your boy shout at the top of his lungs so everybody can hear it, "IF YOU DIDN'T WET YOUR BED, YOU WOULDN'T NEED TO PICK ON PEOPLE!".

That'll back him off at least for a moment...

Mr. Plow
04-25-2008, 10:16 AM
Have your boy shout at the top of his lungs so everybody can hear it, "IF YOU DIDN'T WET YOUR BED, YOU WOULDN'T NEED TO PICK ON PEOPLE!".

That'll back him off at least for a moment...

I'm not very proud of it, but I told him last night the next time he pushes him to turn around a loudly say "So you like touching little boys, huh?"

stlchiefs
04-25-2008, 10:24 AM
No I will not make out with you!!! :)

ChiefButthurt
04-25-2008, 10:45 AM
3rd graders don't think for themselves, the parent does the thinking and sets the example. If someone told me that my son was a bully, he'd need to be disciplined and he would be and that's final. Get new friends, they are idiots.

dtebbe
04-25-2008, 10:59 AM
Some parents love to see their kid be a bully, they mistake it for self-confidence. I had a similar problem with a kid when I was in 2nd grade. After complaining to my dad for about 6 months about it, my dad told me the next time he even approaches you, hit him right in the mouth before he can even say a word. I did just like the old man told me, and made the kid cry like a little bitch in front of everyone. He didn't tell the teacher, and he never bullied anyone after that. What's funny is he and I became pretty good friends in high school. I used to joke with him all the time about it....

Of coarse now days, they'd probably figure out a way to give your kid jail time if he did something like this... :shake:

DT

BIG_DADDY
04-25-2008, 12:27 PM
That's what you get for being ignorant you dumb fugg.
Since his issue is only with one bully your scenarios have no relevance.

Simple concept: Advise for the situation given to you.

You're one of them types... Your supervisor comes with a proposal and you think of a million different possibilities as to why something may not be able to get accomplished.

~You're that guy: The ultimate planner.

Who am I? I'm the guy doing my job you must be the other guy. LMAO

BIG_DADDY
04-25-2008, 01:22 PM
"No one can make you feel inferior without your CONSENT."-Eleanor Roosevelt

.

I can see why that is one of your favorite saying. LMAO

wutamess
05-08-2008, 04:24 PM
Any details on if the little booger is still alive or not?

wutamess
05-08-2008, 09:13 PM
well?

wutamess
05-20-2008, 01:32 PM
well?

BIG_DADDY
05-20-2008, 01:37 PM
Any details on if the little booger is still alive or not?

Great thread to pull up again.

Mr. Plow
05-21-2008, 12:20 PM
How have I missed this one being bumped? Oh well.

Things have really started going well for him and the bully. The last encounter they had, my son didn't back down from him. Nothing really came of it. The bully pushed him - from behind mind you - my son got up, turned right back to him. From then, it seems my son just does his own thing and he hasn't had any problems.

I also took a lot of your advice and my wife and I have really stopped hanging out with the parents. Sure, we see them from time to time bumping into them, but no more hanging out together.

Fairplay
05-21-2008, 12:22 PM
Episode #36 of the Andy Griffith show explains how Opie had to deal with a bully.

BIG_DADDY
05-21-2008, 12:24 PM
How have I missed this one being bumped? Oh well.

Things have really started going well for him and the bully. The last encounter they had, my son didn't back down from him. Nothing really came of it. The bully pushed him - from behind mind you - my son got up, turned right back to him. From then, it seems my son just does his own thing and he hasn't had any problems.

I also took a lot of your advice and my wife and I have really stopped hanging out with the parents. Sure, we see them from time to time bumping into them, but no more hanging out together.

Stand up to a bully and they go away. Good job Mr. Plow. A little jiu-jitsu/muay thai may be great for his confidence as well IMO.

Mr. Plow
05-21-2008, 12:27 PM
Stand up to a bully and they go away. Good job Mr. Plow. A little jiu-jitsu/muay thai may be great for his confidence as well IMO.

He's in karate right now. Hasn't been there very long, but he seems to of picked up on it pretty quick.

FAX
05-21-2008, 12:29 PM
I knew a skinny kid in high school who was bullied mercilessly for years until, one day, the kid decided he wasn't going to take it anymore. He started working out, building up his strength, and taking boxing lessons. Then eventually, the day came when the bully started in on him again and the kid finally stood up for himself.

That bully kicked that kid's ass from here to East Jesus for 20 solid minutes.

FAX

Brock
05-21-2008, 12:34 PM
http://cagle.msnbc.com/hogan/features/atlas/Machittingguy.gif

RedNeckRaider
05-21-2008, 12:35 PM
I knew a skinny kid in high school who was bullied mercilessly for years until, one day, the kid decided he wasn't going to take it anymore. He started working out, building up his strength, and taking boxing lessons. Then eventually, the day came when the bully started in on him again and the kid finally stood up for himself.

That bully kicked that kid's ass from here to East Jesus for 20 solid minutes.

FAX

LMAO:clap:

BIG_DADDY
05-21-2008, 12:43 PM
I knew a skinny kid in high school who was bullied mercilessly for years until, one day, the kid decided he wasn't going to take it anymore. He started working out, building up his strength, and taking boxing lessons. Then eventually, the day came when the bully started in on him again and the kid finally stood up for himself.

That bully kicked that kid's ass from here to East Jesus for 20 solid minutes.

FAX

LMAO You're just not right Mr. Fax.

wutamess
05-21-2008, 01:57 PM
I knew a skinny kid in high school who was bullied mercilessly for years until, one day, the kid decided he wasn't going to take it anymore. He started working out, building up his strength, and taking boxing lessons. Then eventually, the day came when the bully started in on him again and the kid finally stood up for himself.

That bully kicked that kid's ass from here to East Jesus for 20 solid minutes.

FAX

LMAO

CanadianChief
05-21-2008, 03:43 PM
Show your son how to paint a fence, wax the floor, sand the deck....and then teach him the crane kick.

bayarealightning
05-21-2008, 03:46 PM
I have had to deal with bullies for most of my life. What you need to teach your son is that the most important thing is to stop the bullying. In other words, it is not important whether he wins the fight or not, but to inflict enough pain that the person will no longer bother him. I think that fear comes in when we think that we cannot win a fight and we do not want to go through the situation. However, it is not about winning or losing, but about stopping the harassment.

Your son will find that bullies only pick on people who they think that they can dominate or get away with something. If your son pops him once or twice, the kid will then begin to think about whether it is worth picking on your son. If he doesn't get in a hit the first time, be ready the next to get in his shot. The bullying is not going to stop until the other kid learns that your son is not an easy prey. Once your son inflicts some of his own pain, the bully may move on to some other "easy" target. The bully has to understand that there will be consequences picking on your son, even if the bully "wins" the fight. You will be very surprised, and if your son takes that attitude, he will be surprised that other kids will not just pick on him. Good luck!