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Douche Baggins
06-07-2008, 10:11 PM
So I was at the gym the other day, getting buff, and I'm pulling down on the bar over my head. I look at the HUGE stack of weights in front of me as I pull them up with a herculean feat of strength. And I notice this ant.

It was one of those winged beasties. But it didn't fly away. I sit there and do 12 reps and this ****ing ant just sits around on the top weight as the stack moves up and down, up and down with great speed (I'm so strong, srsly).

I finish the set and the ant starts moving around on the weight. It goes all over the thing like it's looking for an earring it lost or something (what do you think ants fashion jewelry from? salt?). So I begin the next set, and it just stays put. It stands there, oblivious, as this huge stack of weights goes up and down with mind-boggling speed.

The ant sits there for 4 sets, 48 reps. I turn around to do my back, and when I'm done, I look at the weights - THE ANT IS STILL THERE.

So what's the deal? Do ants treat gyms as giant insect disneylands? Do they ride the moving parts as we pump them with our gigantic, rippling, sexy muscles? Are there ants sitting by the door charging admission?

Do other insects join in on the fun, or is it just ants? Are ants the "daredevils" of the insect world? Or am I completely out of my ****ing mind?

http://images.google.com/url?q=http://bour3.com/Photoshop/Antpopupcard/ant-gym.jpg&usg=AFQjCNH-EpxoNhlxW9W_L-TjEmARl41OIw

Joie
06-07-2008, 10:15 PM
So I was at the gym the other day, getting buff, and I'm pulling down on the bar over my head. I look at the HUGE stack of weights in front of me as I pull them up with a herculean feat of strength. And I notice this ant.

It was one of those winged beasties. But it didn't fly away. I sit there and do 12 reps and this ****ing ant just sits around on the top weight as the stack moves up and down, up and down with great speed (I'm so strong, srsly).

I finish the set and the ant starts moving around on the weight. It goes all over the thing like it's looking for an earring it lost or something (what do you think ants fashion jewelry from? salt?). So I begin the next set, and it just stays put. It stands there, oblivious, as this huge stack of weights goes up and down with mind-boggling speed.

The ant sits there for 4 sets, 48 reps. I turn around to do my back, and when I'm done, I look at the weights - THE ANT IS STILL THERE.

So what's the deal? Do ants treat gyms as giant insect disneylands? Do they ride the moving parts as we pump them with our gigantic, rippling, sexy muscles? Are there ants sitting by the door charging admission?

Do other insects join in on the fun, or is it just ants? Are ants the "daredevils" of the insect world? Or am I completely out of my ****ing mind?

http://images.google.com/url?q=http://bour3.com/Photoshop/Antpopupcard/ant-gym.jpg&usg=AFQjCNH-EpxoNhlxW9W_L-TjEmARl41OIw
Bingo.

Skip Towne
06-07-2008, 10:19 PM
Who pays for the gym trips, fatso?

Bugeater
06-07-2008, 10:23 PM
One time one of my friends drove about 20 miles with a grasshopper hanging on to his hood ornament for dear life. It never crossed my mind that it may have been an adrenaline junkie grasshopper.

QuikSsurfer
06-07-2008, 10:24 PM
I'm glad you could create a thread while assuring everyone that you can throw up some weight. Congrats.

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f86/quikssurfer/ArnoldTrance.gif

Douche Baggins
06-07-2008, 10:24 PM
Who pays for the gym trips, fatso?

I bet I could smash my fist right through your face.

Douche Baggins
06-07-2008, 10:25 PM
One time one of my friends drove about 20 miles with a grasshopper hanging on to his hood ornament for dear life. It never crossed my mind that it may have been an adrenaline junkie grasshopper.

It was probably a dare. ****ing grasshoppers.

FAX
06-07-2008, 10:25 PM
An ant brain has approximately 1/40000 the thinking capacity of the human brain, Mr. GoChiefs. Therefore, ants would not have the cognizance to even consider going on gym-rides. Instead, they'd probably be sitting on a bench eating the double deep fried dung on a stick.

FAX

Douche Baggins
06-07-2008, 10:27 PM
An ant brain has approximately 1/40000 the thinking capacity of the human brain, Mr. GoChiefs. Therefore, ants would not have the cognizance to even consider going on gym-rides. Instead, they'd probably be sitting on a bench eating the double deep fried dung on a stick.

FAX

But how do you know for sure? Ants can lift like one million times their body weight, or some shit. Who's to say they can't think one million times their brain weight? Eh? Eh?

mikey23545
06-07-2008, 10:27 PM
I bet I could smash my fist right through your face.

The Fighting Fisted F#ggot roars!

ROFL

Fish
06-07-2008, 10:28 PM
Blah blah blah gym blah blah, blah buff. Blah blah HUGE stack of weights blah blah blah blah strength. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah 12 reps blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah blah blah huge stack of weights goes up and down with mind-boggling speed.

Blah blah blah 4 sets, 48 reps.Blah blah blabby blah weights - blah.

Blah blah blah blahba blah gigantic, rippling, sexy muscles?Blah blahba blah.

Blah blah blahblah blah blah? Blah?

[img|blah|/img]


Good for you for working out.

Douche Baggins
06-07-2008, 10:30 PM
Good for you for working out.

Actually I was quite serious. I just put the working out stuff in for yuks. That ant had glue on it's feet or something.

Joie
06-07-2008, 10:32 PM
One time one of my friends drove about 20 miles with a grasshopper hanging on to his hood ornament for dear life. It never crossed my mind that it may have been an adrenaline junkie grasshopper.

Nah. It's just the grasshopper version of taking public transportation instead of walking (hopping? jumping?).

FAX
06-07-2008, 10:34 PM
But how do you know for sure? Ants can lift like one million times their body weight, or some shit. Who's to say they can't think one million times their brain weight? Eh? Eh?

You make an excellent point, Mr. GoChiefs.

Who knows? Perhaps that's why very few ants start threads like these.

FAX

Douche Baggins
06-07-2008, 10:36 PM
You make an excellent point, Mr. GoChiefs.

Who knows? Perhaps that's why very few ants start threads like these.

FAX

I don't think the ants post on the internet, Mr. FAX. They would need an army of ants just to make one post. Several to move the mouse, a few to click the mouse, a couple dozen to press the keys, and that's assuming the computer is turned on.

Of course they could have tiny ant keyboards.

Fish
06-07-2008, 10:36 PM
Actually I was quite serious. I just put the working out stuff in for yuks. That ant had glue on it's feet or something.

I'm just giving you shit.

But seriously, keep working out. Great for stress, looks, confidence, health, etc.

Joie
06-07-2008, 10:40 PM
I don't think the ants post on the internet, Mr. FAX. They would need an army of ants just to make one post. Several to move the mouse, a few to click the mouse, a couple dozen to press the keys, and that's assuming the computer is turned on.

Of course they could have tiny ant keyboards.

Have you seen the Bee Movie? If bees can be so advanced, why not ants?

Douche Baggins
06-07-2008, 10:42 PM
Have you seen the Bee Movie? If bees can be so advanced, why not ants?

I don't consider the bee movie insect kingdom canon. Everyone knows bees can't talk anyway, and they die if they sting someone. That bee movie was fraudulent flimflammery.

Joie
06-07-2008, 10:46 PM
I don't consider the bee movie insect kingdom canon. Everyone knows bees can't talk anyway, and they die if they sting someone. That bee movie was fraudulent flimflammery.

True...Hollywood at its best.

It is reassuring that the bee that stung me on the bottom of the foot years ago did not live to tell the story. That hurt. :mad:

Douche Baggins
06-07-2008, 10:47 PM
True...Hollywood at its best.

It is reassuring that the bee that stung me on the bottom of the foot years ago did not live to tell the story. That hurt. :mad:

Do you know how bees die, Joie?

THEY GET THEIR ASS RIPPED OUT

Joie
06-07-2008, 10:48 PM
Do you know how bees die, Joie?

THEY GET THEIR ASS RIPPED OUT

Well, they shouldn't go around stinging people, should they?

Pablo
06-07-2008, 10:55 PM
It's really too bad this Ant wasn't in the gym with you, so you could have smashed his f*cking head in with a weight.

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/2755071.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF1934A2752006EF5F0ED0532F069CF503A675A5397277B4DC33E

Adept Havelock
06-07-2008, 11:55 PM
I think this is the Ant GOATSE would prefer to sauna with after his workout. :Lin:
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Y3g5G0PFuXQ&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Y3g5G0PFuXQ&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Douche Baggins
06-08-2008, 01:03 PM
OOPS I BUMPED THIS THREAD

Pablo
06-08-2008, 01:17 PM
OOPS I BUMPED THIS THREADYou didn't mean to though, your massive, bulging mountainous manly muscles must have contracted involuntarily causing your phalanges of pain to type this message through irryhtmic spurts of rage and anguish...

Right?

damaticous
06-08-2008, 01:27 PM
steroids are bad.

j/k. Cool that you work out. I THINK the ant is just being lazy, letin you do all the work so he can go back to his colony and tell all the hot ant chicks that he worked out with a bunch of weight.

blueballs
06-08-2008, 01:32 PM
it was exoskeleton envy
the wings just threw you off

Douche Baggins
06-08-2008, 01:40 PM
You didn't mean to though, your massive, bulging mountainous manly muscles must have contracted involuntarily causing your phalanges of pain to type this message through irryhtmic spurts of rage and anguish...

Right?

That's it. It's just muscle memory. Now that my muscles are so HUGE, STUDLY and TESTOSTERRIFIC, they have a mind of their own. It's like Doc Ock's tentacles.

Skip Towne
06-08-2008, 02:48 PM
That's it. It's just muscle memory. Now that my muscles are so HUGE, STUDLY and TESTOSTERRIFIC, they have a mind of their own. It's like Doc Ock's tentacles.

All you do is jack off your jaws. You couldn't whip Blueballs.

blueballs
06-08-2008, 03:13 PM
You two flip a coin for top or bottom
and leave me out of it

blueballs Jr
06-08-2008, 03:28 PM
All you do is jack off your jaws. You couldn't whip Blueballs.
That's right, Gramps. nobody can defeat my father.
You two flip a coin for top or bottom
and leave me out of it


Dad, I thought we only flipped a coin for the crack pipe? is this a different game?

Skip Towne
06-08-2008, 03:29 PM
That's right, Gramps. nobody can defeat my father.



Dad, I thought we only flipped a coin for the crack pipe? is this a different game?

Shut up, n00b.

Ultra Peanut
06-08-2008, 08:09 PM
I'm glad you could create a thread while assuring everyone that you can throw up some weight. Congrats.

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f86/quikssurfer/ArnoldTrance.gifWelp, that does it. I'm going to have to go order Age of Conan now.

Phobia
06-08-2008, 08:31 PM
You sure did go to a whole lot of trouble for an incredibly stupid thread.

Simply Red
06-08-2008, 08:41 PM
ROFLShut up, n00b.

ROFLROFL