View Full Version : Funny Stuff Write Your Story!

06-10-2008, 10:39 AM
Here's the deal: You write a lovely, engaging short-story. There's only one thing: The story must include the names of Chiefs players. You may use first and last names of course. But each sentence must have at least two Players names in them. It's hard work and its silly. Example:

“Oh Darling, put down that Bowe of Flowers and meet me at the Poole.”
“Don’t Dingle with me, this place is a Thigpin!”
Pat Manderino is Surtain her husband is a Savage who wears nothing but Cottam shirts with cigarette Burns in them. Frustrated with a life without Merritt, she Colquitt’s a plan to steal his Carr and drive off into the Octavien sunset.
Nick Taylor scratches his Johnson and pulls a toke from his Herb. The Herb makes him think of a Battle of Swans in his head. He scratches his Rumph before jumping into the crisp, cool Waters of his pool. After a bit of Stallings, his wife shoots him in the Cox.
She’s never found guilty- she has an Alabi.

06-10-2008, 10:42 AM
E.T. was heard saying as he left "Elliot...be good."

06-10-2008, 11:06 AM
Savage Greene Herb Dustin Carr Burns

Mr. Plow
06-10-2008, 11:06 AM
Yeah. That really doesn't sound like fun.

06-10-2008, 11:09 AM
Theres a Black ledge that you can jump over, because its against the Law to Bam your Johnson down the Hall.

06-10-2008, 11:09 AM
Once upon a time Larry Johnson went up to Carl Peterson's office and shot him in the head. Everyone else, including Damon Huard and Tyler Thigpen, lived happily ever after.

The end.

06-10-2008, 11:28 AM
How about we just stick our fingers in a light socket instead ?

06-10-2008, 11:34 AM
How about we just stick our fingers in a light socket instead ?

I dont recall any Chiefs players named How, About, We, Just, Stick, Our, Fingers, In, A, Light, Socket, or Instead.

06-10-2008, 11:35 AM
How about we just stick our fingers in a light socket instead ?

Your mom is like a light socket...

06-10-2008, 11:36 AM
I dont recall any Chiefs players named How, About, We, Just, Stick, Our, Fingers, In, A, Light, Socket, or Instead.

They were all on the prctice squad. Suprisingly they were much easier to watch than the regular players this last couple of years.

Rain Man
06-10-2008, 11:38 AM
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

The letters in my story can be rearranged to spell the name of every single Chiefs player. I win.

06-10-2008, 11:58 AM
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

The letters in my story can be rearranged to spell the name of every single Chiefs player. I win.

no s

06-10-2008, 12:10 PM
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

The letters in my story can be rearranged to spell the name of every single Chiefs player. I win.

Larry Johnon?

06-10-2008, 12:11 PM
no s

I'm slow.

Hammock Parties
06-10-2008, 12:23 PM
Dick Vermeil and Trent Green cuddled by the fire one night with a nice bottle of Dick's wine. Dante Hall was due any minute, and the threesome would begin under the cruel whip of Eric Warfield, Team Sex Captain and Sadomasochist. The doors burst open to reveal Larry Johnson, however, who was mad as hell and had brought Willie Roaf with him.

Johnson smashed his fist through Vermeil's delicate features as he bellowed "F*CK PRIEST HOLMES!" at the top of his lungs. Roaf picked up Green by his stent and threw him through a window as if he weighed no more than Brodie Croyle.

Warfield cowered in the corner as Roaf and Johnson turned to face his shivering form. "Please don't kill me!" begged Warfield, obviously afraid that he might never see William Bartee again. Roaf and Johnson laughed at each other and then pounced on Warfield, eating him alive.

As they picked their teeth with Warfield's bones, the doors suddenly flung open to reveal Dante Hall, who exclaimed "WHAT THE ****?" and whipped out twin uzis. With a Savage cry, he opened fire and riddled the scene with bullets, killing Johnson and Roaf.

As a crack of thunder hit the ground outside, Herm Edwards walked into the room and stared menacingly at Dante Hall. "I'm replacing you with Eddie Drummond," he said, as Hall escaped through the window Green had been flung out of seconds earlier.

With that, Herm produced a vial of Black liquid from his pocket. He looked at Johnson, then Roaf, before pouring the elixir of life on his running back. Johnson coughed, sat up and removed one of Warfield's bones from his teeth.

"Let's bury Willie Roaf," said Herm, "I need to hand you the ball 400 times, Larry."

06-10-2008, 12:58 PM
Your mom is like a light socket...I don't get it

06-10-2008, 02:17 PM
"As I sit listening to Elvis, which can be Huard from far away, I pick up a novel which I am less than half way through and as I turn the Page I am Surtain that I will finish before dawn. My imaginary Darling walks through the door and quite Franklin, she would be hot if she were real. For she is a robot that plays with my Johnson, I even by her Flowers hoping she becomes real. I look out the window, I see a bird that drops frozen from a Bowe..."

ok this sucks

06-10-2008, 02:26 PM
I don't get it

...the more fingers you stick in the more shocked you'll be.

06-10-2008, 03:26 PM
Along time ago Dewayne Bowe and I hung out a summer. He was really good at sports and I was ok. It was before anyone had video games and shit like that. So for some reason DBowe loved candy and gum. He was always opening gum wrappers or Candy and eating it. It was semi annoying but it was ok unless it got stuck on my parents couch. My dad would flip out and grab him by his arm and scold him. Even though by this time it was obvouis Dbowe could kick my dads ass he was kind of scared of my dad. It could the Rake my dad carried around whacking squirls and shit. So one day we were heading down to the Sack and save for 5 for a dollar chili dogs and a shitload of gum for Dbowe. The only thing is there were assholes at the sack and save that would try to **** with us. So we called up Kyle turley.
Keep in mind this was before cell phones
Is kyle there?
Kyle's mom: Yeah hold on he is downstairs playing guitar
*Thump thump thump Door open, kyle...KYLE..... turn that shit off your friends on the phone....KYLE GET YOUR ****ING ASS UP HERE......"
Hold on Demon I am going down there to get him

*thrash metal plays in the distance and abruptly ends. Kyle how many times I have told you turn this shit off..
mom but
Get your ass up there before I kick your ass. Your dad will be home to kick your ass later on.

thump thump thump

Kyle :whats up?
Demon: Nada mucho
Kyle. My mom sucks
Demon: in all the right places
Kyle: I am giving you a titty twister like a badger when I see you

06-10-2008, 03:31 PM
Demon:Hey Kyle can you come down with us to the sack and save. Those chilli dog eating methheads will be there preventing us from eating chili dogs
Kyle: Awe little baby need protection
Demon: Stop being a dick, it's not like you are doing anything else, besides I got my motorhead tape.
Kyle: Sweet...that shit is cock!

So Kyle, Dbowe and I roll down to sack and save for 5 for a dollar chilli dogs gum and well whatever turley could shoplift.

Demon: Shit I hate those sack and save nazi's they were standing in front of the sack and save

3 guys that look like they eat chicken wings from a dumpster

"Hey pussies, get any pussy today? We did."

Kyle: yeah we got some smell this shit *Rubs his fingers in metheads faces*

Methhead number 1: Dude your hand smells like balls

Kyle.. balls pussy they both smell bad

06-10-2008, 03:47 PM
You must pay me first.
I is a professional wrighter.

06-10-2008, 03:54 PM
*Ding ding* we walk into the sack and save. It was hotter in there than outside and outside it was hot as all get out. I went to the back where the chili dogs and fruit were. Debowe went straight to the candy and well turley just went where the security guards weren't. I was back there ordering 10 chilli dogs when of course Kelly croyle the hottest girl in our school said hi to me:

Kelly Croyle: Hungry..Demon?
Demon: They are for my family.....
Kelly Croyle: Sure they are.....
Demon no seriously....ok they are for me...
Kelly: Oh demon you crack me up

Kelly worked at the sack and save part time as a fruit stalker. So I then took a bite
out of a chilli dog because my fat ass couldn't wait four blocks to taste that sweet chilli goodness. Kelly went back stalking fruit.

Turley: Hey kelly...NICE MELONS
Kelly har har har. These aren't even melons jackoff they are green peppers.
Turley: Nice peppers then!
Kelly: You are stupid. Did you draw those fake tatoo's?
Turley HELL NO my uncle tatoo'd this on my arm it means rock hard in chinese"

Brodie croyle: HEY GUYS! Whats whats happening

Everyone (exept Kelly): (groan) hey brodie croyle

Brodie Croyle: Hey guys do you want to play D&D tonight?

Demon: that shit is queer

Brodie Croyle: no it's not you should my character.
Turley: Hey Croyle I want to show you something.

kyle: put's croyles head in a headlock and walks him over.
Kyle: Check out this level in D&D... It's called Trash can!
*turley then dumps croyle in a trashcan*

I laughed even though I felt bad

Croyle: Oh man come on my mom just gave me this roll tide shirt"
Bowe: (with a mouth full of Mike and ike's, you brody, your mom is HOT)

Gunther cunningham"HEY PUNKS! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!!!"

Demon: Oh shit it is gunther. I whispered


Gunther had been the shop manager for years and years. He was so mean and angry you swear he was going to kill someone any day now.


Rain Man
06-10-2008, 04:16 PM
no s

Dang it. One of the dogs got loose.

06-11-2008, 12:16 AM
Ok….another one. This time, using the 1970 Super Bowl winning roster:

The Moorman’s run up the Hill with their Cannon. Caesar glances across the fields of Hayes and sees the Lynch mob down in the Garrett, “Ring thy Bell and show the Culp of these Podolak’s the Pitts of where it Huartes the most!”
Wendall leans back with a firm grasp of his Stein filled with the luxurious Porter of ale and mumbles, “I Hadley think this is a Liggett reason to get us all Holmes. This place gives me the Willies”
“Mays you all Len me your ears, my Buddes! Morris fire thy Buchanans at these Podolaks down the Hill!”
“Sir, it’s Cannons, not Buchanans”
“Wendall, you Kearney shut the hell up and Daney up the dead Moorman’s when we’re done.”