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View Full Version : Life My brother just hit me with a baseball bat


Jenson71
06-11-2008, 03:05 PM
Twice on the leg, where there are two prominent blue/purple marks, and across the back. I grabbed the bat away from him and now he's hiding in his bedroom.

What are my next proper moves?

chubychecker
06-11-2008, 03:06 PM
wait until he goes to sleep then tbag him.

keg in kc
06-11-2008, 03:06 PM
Antifreeze.

Or ambush him with a transvestite prostitute.

little jacob
06-11-2008, 03:07 PM
get a lawyer. he's going to sue you for collusion

Rooster
06-11-2008, 03:10 PM
wait until he goes to sleep then tbag him.

ROFLROFL That will learn em...

bishop_74
06-11-2008, 03:13 PM
wait until he goes to sleep then tbag him.

Agreed...

Joie
06-11-2008, 03:17 PM
1. How old is he?

2. How old are you?

3.. What did you do to provoke him? (if anything)

I can't answer your question until I know more about the situation. In the meantime, get an ice pack on your leg and take an anti-inflammatory (Advil, Aleve). This will help with pain, swelling, and bruising.

blueballs
06-11-2008, 03:19 PM
how about the prequel

Bowser
06-11-2008, 03:19 PM
Shit in a bag, set it outside his door, then light it on fire.

blueballs
06-11-2008, 03:20 PM
Post pics of him on Chiefsplanet
let some of know of Slayer II

Phobia
06-11-2008, 03:23 PM
Uh - the only thing to do is hurt him twice as much.

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 03:23 PM
He's 17

I'm 20

He was on Playstation and was getting angry with the game. I grabbed the remote and shut it off. He started yelling and came over, I took a swipe at him. Then he jumped me, we wrestled around a bit, then I had him pinned. I told him to relax and let go and go to his room. Then I let him up. Then he went downstairs and came back with a bat, and started taking swings at me. He got me twice in the leg, and once in the back, but that one's not too bad. I was down, and he shoved the barrel of the bat into my teeth. Then I grabbed it and kinda shoved him to the hallway, where he ran to his room.

Then I hit his door a few times with the bat.

We're actually pretty normal other than this. We've always gotten into little scuffles, but this is the first time he's ever gotten a weapon out. That totally breaks rules.

rambleonthruthefog
06-11-2008, 03:23 PM
giv him a man sized azz whoopin' or take your azz whoopin' like a man, if you deserved it.

KcKing
06-11-2008, 03:24 PM
Tell him you both won free trips to Hawaii...

Then... when you get down to the travel agency...

A policeman will jump out and claim it's a sting to catch your brother who has outstanding warrants...

After the cop slaps the cuffs on your brother...

It's revealed...

(It's a male stripper in a cops uni.)

Then all you have to do is leave whist your brother enjoys multiple lap-dances by Copper C*ckring...


Simple.

Joie
06-11-2008, 03:27 PM
Has he been violent before? If so, call 911.

If not, talk to your parents about it. You are both too old to be acting like this. Meantime, stay away from him. Let him cool down. Do not, under any circumstances, retaliate.

Bowser
06-11-2008, 03:27 PM
He's 17

I'm 20

He was on Playstation and was getting angry with the game. I grabbed the remote and shut it off. He started yelling and came over, I took a swipe at him. Then he jumped me, we wrestled around a bit, then I had him pinned. I told him to relax and let go and go to his room. Then I let him up. Then he went downstairs and came back with a bat, and started taking swings at me. He got me twice in the leg, and once in the back, but that one's not too bad. I was down, and he shoved the barrel of the bat into my teeth. Then I grabbed it and kinda shoved him to the hallway, where he ran to his room.

Then I hit his door a few times with the bat.

We're actually pretty normal other than this. We've always gotten into little scuffles, but this is the first time he's ever gotten a weapon out. That totally breaks rules.

Jenson - don't hold back. You can do it.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/AYGvR8tWOBY&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AYGvR8tWOBY&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Redrum_69
06-11-2008, 03:29 PM
If you are Gochiefs/Claythan then obviously your next move is to smear peanut butter on your tallywhacker and have your dog lick it off

Joie
06-11-2008, 03:30 PM
Then I hit his door a few times with the bat.

We're actually pretty normal other than this. We've always gotten into little scuffles, but this is the first time he's ever gotten a weapon out. That totally breaks rules.

Try to leave him alone for awhile. Let him cool down, and you do the same. No more violence...that includes hitting his door.

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 03:31 PM
He's just a bad kid. He's really growing up to be a bad person.

CoMoChief
06-11-2008, 03:32 PM
Stop being a pussy and beat his ass.

kepp
06-11-2008, 03:33 PM
You two don't make me pull this car over!!

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 03:35 PM
I don't want to grow up and have a brother in prison or us hating each other. I guess the sooner I move out the better.

Bill Lundberg
06-11-2008, 03:35 PM
Screw 911, this is a "brothers thing" as the older brother it is your duty to kick the ever living shit out of him. You don't have to cause physical damage, but you damned sure better establish your dominance. It's necessary to restore the natural order of things. If you don't he'll try this shit again. It's for his own good and he'll thank you for it someday.

BIG_DADDY
06-11-2008, 03:36 PM
He's 17

I'm 20

.

Tell him when he is 21 dinner and drinks are on me.

StcChief
06-11-2008, 03:37 PM
Atomic Wedgie

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 03:38 PM
Tell him when he is 21 dinner and drinks are on me.

Sure, he loves being lazy and getting things free.

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 03:40 PM
Screw 911, this is a "brothers thing" as the older brother it is your duty to kick the ever living shit out of him. You don't have to cause physical damage, but you damned sure better establish your dominance. It's necessary to restore the natural order of things. If you don't he'll try this shit again. It's for his own good and he'll thank you for it someday.

Yes, I agree. The fact that he's hiding in his room while I'm doing whatever and I pinned him twice seems to suggest I won this battle.

Joie
06-11-2008, 03:41 PM
I don't want to grow up and have a brother in prison or us hating each other. I guess the sooner I move out the better.

Probably. My relationship with my brother improved after I moved out. Of course we're a brother/sister so things may be a little different. We did get violent from time to time (when I was 14 and he was 12 I punched him so hard I gave him a black eye and knocked him to the ground), but we never used weapons.

I only brought up 911 in case he had a history of serious violence. It's time both of you grew up, though. You're an adult and he's damn near. If someone witnesses you two beating the crap out of each other, you could both end up in jail.

sedated
06-11-2008, 03:46 PM
Has he been violent before? If so, call 911.

If not, talk to your parents about it. You are both too old to be acting like this. Meantime, stay away from him. Let him cool down. Do not, under any circumstances, retaliate.

you are such a chick

Frazod
06-11-2008, 03:46 PM
I don't have any brothers, but anybody who hits me with a f#cking baseball bat had damn well better kill me with it.

Kick the shit out of him.

:$2500:

Phobia
06-11-2008, 03:46 PM
Yes, I agree. The fact that he's hiding in his room while I'm doing whatever and I pinned him twice seems to suggest I won this battle.

Who is marked up more?

If the little jackass used a ball bat on you over a video game, it's on. He would pay dearly - often. I wouldn't turn the bat on him but I'd hurt him several times.

chagrin
06-11-2008, 03:46 PM
don't listen to the chick, don't be ghey and stick your balls in his mouth simply beat his fuggin ass, now.
Good lord, why are you debating this here?

Joie
06-11-2008, 03:47 PM
you are such a chick

Thanks

ChiefsFire
06-11-2008, 03:48 PM
Wet willy/purple nurple

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 03:48 PM
Who is marked up more?

If the little jackass used a ball bat on you over a video game, it's on. He would pay dearly - often. I wouldn't turn the bat on him but I'd hurt him several times.

I'm marked up. I doubt he has a single mark on him, which is good. I don't want that. I'm clean and effective.

kepp
06-11-2008, 03:49 PM
I only brought up 911 in case he had a history of violence

I wouldn't try anything if that's the case.
http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl0/15/158821/05_2008/History_of_violence.jpg

BIG_DADDY
06-11-2008, 03:49 PM
Sure, he loves being lazy and getting things free.

So you're both Democrats.

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 03:50 PM
I don't have any brothers, but anybody who hits me with a f#cking baseball bat had damn well better kill me with it.


Exactly. If this was anyone other than my own and only brother, I think killing them would have been a legitimate case of self-defense.

Frazod
06-11-2008, 03:53 PM
Exactly. If this was anyone other than my own and only brother, I think killing them would have been a legitimate case of self-defense.

I think you are morally obligated to put his ass in the hurt locker. Him where he'll feel it for awhile.

One day, perhaps, you'll look back on it over beers and laugh. But that day won't come any time soon.

Go get him.

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 03:56 PM
I think you are morally obligated to put his ass in the hurt locker. Him where he'll feel it for awhile.

One day, perhaps, you'll look back on it over beers and laugh. But that day won't come any time soon.

Go get him.

I think you're right. I think this kid needs help and maybe that would do something. But physically, I can't. I just my leg bashed with a baseball bat. And I'd have to kick his door down and stuff then take him down again with one leg.

dj56dt58
06-11-2008, 03:57 PM
Try to leave him alone for awhile. Let him cool down, and you do the same. No more violence...that includes hitting his door.

your advice sucks

Frazod
06-11-2008, 03:58 PM
I think you're right. I think this kid needs help and maybe that would do something. But physically, I can't. I just my leg bashed with a baseball bat. And I'd have to kick his door down and stuff then take him down again with one leg.

Good luck. Be sure to let us know how it turned out. You're the official Planet entertainment source for the evening. :evil:

cookster50
06-11-2008, 03:59 PM
Yes, I agree. The fact that he's hiding in his room while I'm doing whatever and I pinned him twice seems to suggest I won this battle.

I'd say the fact you have 2 huge bruises on the leg and got hit in the back means he won.

cookster50
06-11-2008, 04:00 PM
Sell all video games and video game equipment at a pawn shop.

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 04:01 PM
I'd say the fact you have 2 huge bruises on the leg and got hit in the back means he won.

Not necessarily. Are you familiar with the Purple Heart decoration?

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 04:02 PM
Sell all video games and video game equipment at a pawn shop.

That's good advice. He's done with this Playstation, as far as I'm concerned. I don't make those rules around here, but I think I'm a powerful voice in lobbying.

Bearcat
06-11-2008, 04:03 PM
He was on Playstation and was getting angry with the game. I grabbed the remote and shut it off.


What was he playing? A bat is a bit much, but you were the asshole that kept him from beating USC for the NC, damnit!


;)



I don't want to grow up and have a brother in prison or us hating each other. I guess the sooner I move out the better.

It's amazing what a little growing up and space does, given the amount of sh*t siblings dish out to each other while growing up in the same house.

Hydrae
06-11-2008, 04:04 PM
That's good advice. He's done with this Playstation, as far as I'm concerned. I don't make those rules around here, but I think I'm a powerful voice in lobbying.

I am thinking using the bat on the Playstation could be in order. Or at least the game he was so caught up in.

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 04:05 PM
I'm taking the controllers and putting them away in a safe and secure spot that he won't get to.

Bearcat
06-11-2008, 04:07 PM
This reminds me.... I actually swung a bat at my older brother when I was about 10 and he was 12, but we were actually outside playing baseball at the time. Well, for a little while anyway...

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 04:10 PM
Thanks

I've had the ice pack on for about an hour. Should I walk on it? Keep it raised? Go ice on, ice off?

Jenson71
06-11-2008, 04:12 PM
I will say this - as we were in the second round of wrestling, I did tell him to watch out for my laptop, and he respected those wishes. So there is some hope...

Simply Red
06-11-2008, 04:16 PM
So you're both Democrats.

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

Simply Red
06-11-2008, 04:17 PM
stab him in the face. duh...

Bill Lundberg
06-11-2008, 04:17 PM
My brother and I used to get into some knockdown dragouts. He never wooped me, but the little focker wouldn't ever quit either. He can probably take a punch as good or better than anyone I've ever met.

The worst thing was when my dad would catch us in a fight. He would force us to hold each others hands and look into each others eyes until he saw fit to stop. Man it sucked, but it usually ended in us laughing...

bogey
06-11-2008, 04:22 PM
Can you put the fear of God in him? Does he know you can beat the shit out of him? If so, you cool down, and let him cool down. Then grab him by the back of his neck, set him down and let him know that if this happens again, you're going to sharpen his head and drive him straight into the ground.

bogey
06-11-2008, 04:24 PM
My brother and I used to get into some knockdown dragouts. He never wooped me, but the little focker wouldn't ever quit either. He can probably take a punch as good or better than anyone I've ever met.

The worst thing was when my dad would catch us in a fight. He would force us to hold each others hands and look into each others eyes until he saw fit to stop. Man it sucked, but it usually ended in us laughing...

That's gonna get lots of negative comments from the macho crowd on here. But I think that's awesome.

Joie
06-11-2008, 04:27 PM
I'm taking the controllers and putting them away in a safe and secure spot that he won't get to.

Whats your plan for when he flips out because he can't find them?

Chief Chief
06-11-2008, 04:28 PM
Now just hold on a sec...

Ya say your bro got 2 hits with the baseball bat?

Dang! If he's any good at defense (which he appears to be, by evading you), he could at least get a dugout bench seat with our Royals.

Joie
06-11-2008, 04:28 PM
I've had the ice pack on for about an hour. Should I walk on it? Keep it raised? Go ice on, ice off?

Ice on/ice off at 20 minute intervals. Walk on it as much as you can tolerate (don't baby it). Keep it raised when you have the ice on.

JBucc
06-11-2008, 04:30 PM
Sounds like a good time for a duel.

POND_OF_RED
06-11-2008, 04:35 PM
Knock on the door when he's cooled down and say you just want to talk it out. When he comes out have the shotgun pointed right at his face and yell at him for awhile until he starts to cry. Don't budge until you can actually smell the shit in his pants then you can let him go knowing you have established your dominant role in the family.

PGM
06-11-2008, 04:38 PM
Now just hold on a sec...

Ya say your bro got 2 hits with the baseball bat?

Dang! If he's any good at defense (which he appears to be, by evading you), he could at least get a dugout bench seat with our Royals.

Bring him in for a look. what can it hurt .

Tribal Warfare
06-11-2008, 04:42 PM
Twice on the leg, where there are two prominent blue/purple marks, and across the back. I grabbed the bat away from him and now he's hiding in his bedroom.

What are my next proper moves?



wait for a few days, and when he's sleeping mangle his hair( shave his head) then write obscenities on his face then take pics to show to his friends.

Thig Lyfe
06-11-2008, 04:48 PM
Do not, under any circumstances, retaliate.

I read this as "Do not, under any circumstances, fellate."

And I was like "Was that ever an option1?!?! :eek:"

MTG#10
06-11-2008, 04:54 PM
So you're both Democrats.
End of thread. ROFL

chiefs1111
06-11-2008, 04:59 PM
put lots of laxatives in his iced cream,that will show him

Thig Lyfe
06-11-2008, 05:00 PM
Oh, and here's how you deal with him:

<object width="510" height="295"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/A5FY88XLjivc1P-2h2DEuw/59/134"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/A5FY88XLjivc1P-2h2DEuw/59/134" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="510" height="295"></embed></object>

wutamess
06-11-2008, 05:41 PM
That fugger has to go down.
He basically disrepected the hell outta you and you're going to turn the other cheek.
Family or not... That fugger has to pay. The fact that it's family means he needs to pay more.

I think a door knockdown is in order.

Brock
06-11-2008, 05:42 PM
He needs to be terrified of you for the next several months. Terrified.

DeezNutz
06-11-2008, 05:57 PM
This wouldn't have happened if you kept him on a leash.

Douche Baggins
06-11-2008, 05:58 PM
You need to make his life a living hell for a month.

Pablo
06-11-2008, 06:08 PM
Has he been violent before? If so, call 911.



Are you f*cking serious with that line?

They're brothers for f*cks sake, this kind of shit happens. If my brother ever called the police on me after I beat him down with a bat, he'd get it twice as bad as when they left/I got out.

And you're the older brother. I'm 21 and my younger brother is 19. We don't live together, but this is what I'd do. Kick the sh*t out of him. It doesn't even matter if it's today. Be nice, really nice for like 3 days. Then outta nowhere, you gutcheck him and knee him in the side of the head. While he's down fart in his face and kick him in the spine. He came at you with a bat, that's what he gets. But neither one of you call 911, brothers gotta settle shit proper.

KCChiefsMan
06-11-2008, 06:09 PM
this kind of reminds me of 2 roommates of mine who were brothers a couple of years ago. They were best of friends, but sometimes they would try to beat the crap out of each other. The younger one was an ex college football player and a pretty tough kid and the older one is a lot smaller, but man I saw them go at it on one drunken night. They didn't break out any weapons though, just a man-to-man fight and then they hugged the next day...it was moving.....lol

Joie
06-11-2008, 06:17 PM
Are you f*cking serious with that line?

They're brothers for f*cks sake, this kind of shit happens. If my brother ever called the police on me after I beat him down with a bat, he'd get it twice as bad as when they left/I got out.

And you're the older brother. I'm 21 and my younger brother is 19. We don't live together, but this is what I'd do. Kick the sh*t out of him. It doesn't even matter if it's today. Be nice, really nice for like 3 days. Then outta nowhere, you gutcheck him and knee him in the side of the head. While he's down fart in his face and kick him in the spine. He came at you with a bat, that's what he gets. But neither one of you call 911, brothers gotta settle shit proper.

I'm deadly serious. I wasn't talking brother/brother violence. Hell, anyone with siblings has experienced that. I just meant that if he has a history of violence (ie: killing cats, beating the shit out of people with weapons) that perhaps a higher authority should be involved.

I was assuming nothing, including that this was a simple brotherly fight.

Ari Chi3fs
06-11-2008, 06:44 PM
Now just hold on a sec...

Ya say your bro got 2 hits with the baseball bat?

Dang! If he's any good at defense (which he appears to be, by evading you), he could at least get a dugout bench seat with our Royals.

ROFL :clap:

stlchiefs
06-11-2008, 06:54 PM
Whats your plan for when he flips out because he can't find them?

Who let the voice of reason into the room? Take a hike!

SPATCH
06-11-2008, 06:58 PM
you know his weakness. use it.

my little brother's was ketchup. i would pin him down and spray ketchup in his nose and mouth. he almost always threw up.

Skip Towne
06-11-2008, 07:18 PM
Ice on/ice off at 20 minute intervals. Walk on it as much as you can tolerate (don't baby it). Keep it raised when you have the ice on.

You're still giving medical advice?

Joie
06-11-2008, 07:27 PM
You're still giving medical advice?

Yes, sir. :)


I'm sure this patient is alive. I think. Probably.

ChiefsFire
06-11-2008, 08:14 PM
Yes, sir. :)


I'm sure this patient is alive. I think. Probably.


I hear you are good at relieving swelling.

Buehler445
06-11-2008, 09:03 PM
Homerun Derby with the game system. When he gets pissed, you've got the bat now, and if he wants to roll then roll.

Braincase
06-11-2008, 09:13 PM
You have to ignore him. He needs to become, in your mind, a non-person. Even if he forces you to pay attention to him, smile a slight little smile, then move on as if he doesn't exist. Eventually he will apologize, and then you can resume your relationship, but for now, you must make him as a spectre. Everyone else in the family is cool, but for him, you must treat him as if he doesn't exist. He'll come around, and you'll be better off for it.

chasedude
06-11-2008, 10:26 PM
I used to hold my little brother down and fart in his face. That always killed the mood to fight into flight!

Phobia
06-11-2008, 10:42 PM
So, which hospital is he in?

ClevelandBronco
06-11-2008, 10:44 PM
Twice on the leg, where there are two prominent blue/purple marks, and across the back. I grabbed the bat away from him and now he's hiding in his bedroom.

What are my next proper moves?

Hit him with a backhoe.

Pablo
06-11-2008, 10:45 PM
you know his weakness. use it.

my little brother's was ketchup. i would pin him down and spray ketchup in his nose and mouth. he almost always threw up.That's awesome. One time when my little brother was really sick to his stomach and we were baking cookies in the house, he went outside to get some fresh air. He said the cookie scent made him almost throw up. So I got a cookie, followed him outside and held him down and put it under his nose. Then he threw up promptly thereafter. It was awesome.

One time he got me pretty good though. I had just got through kicking his ass, and he was egging me on again. We had been done fighting for like 15 minutes and he started mouthing off again. So I went towards him, expecting to kick his ass again. He had a bottle of flea and tick spray for dogs in his hand. He told me if I tried to hit him, he'd spray me with it. I suppose I wasn't really concerned at the time, because sure enough I came after him, and he sprayed me...in the f*cking eyes.

If you've ever been sprayed in the eyes with any sort of chemical, you know it f*cking hurts a lot. Then he sprinted out the front door, and I chased him outside into the sun, where I was like instantly blinded. I couldn't catch him or see him, and he ran around the back of the house and locked me out from both doors. So I stood out in the heat and pounded on the window, and he made me swear if he let me in, I wouldn't try anything. My eyes were on fire, and there was a spicket, but I guess I was more worried about kicking his ass than I was preserving my eyesight. So, he let me in after like 15 minutes, and as soon as I got in the door, I took a blind swing at him and missed. He sprayed me in the eyes AGAIN. Direct eye contact, and I was done. I was to the point to where I could almost see, and he blinded me altogether again and lit my eyes on fire again. I gave up after that. I just walked over to the sink and laid my head back and he even turned on the faucet for me. I guess he sort of felt bad for spraying me in the eyes twice.

I guess it was his way of making a truce. I learned a valuable lesson that day, when you're practically blind and you barter a truce, it's probably best you stick to that truce.

Pablo
06-11-2008, 10:50 PM
Come to think of it, your brother's pretty lucky you're as laid back as you are. I know for a fact if either my brother or myself baracaded ourselves in a room after a stunt like that, that door would be kicked, smashed in by now. Then a fistfight would ensue before we realized we'd better fix the door/frame we just f*cked up before my dad got back, or we'd both be in for an ass-kicking on top of the fight we just got in.

My two front teeth are crowns partly in thanks to fights with my brother.

But we love and respect each other now, so everything's puppy dogs and rainbows.

richpjr
06-12-2008, 12:34 AM
You guys are killing me with these stories and advice. My brother moved out of the house when I was 9 and left me with 6 sisters so I never got in any beatdowns or had any of the fun you guys did. I'm jealous.

Logical
06-12-2008, 12:51 AM
Where is the YouTube link this sounds like quality entertainment.

Bowser
06-12-2008, 03:00 PM
Jenson? Still with us?