PDA

View Full Version : Life Damn bug scared the piss outta me


pr_capone
07-03-2008, 11:00 PM
I just came inside from my back yard where a deadly Variegated June Beetle nearly killed me.

http://bugguide.net/images/cache/FR7QORIQWRW0CQI0Z0U0K020H0N0YQRQ1RIQ1RJKVRFKCRXQQ0XQORKQYRZQURYK1RG0BRXQ3RN0ORYK3QYK9RYKUR.jpg

So, I go outside to let my dog do her do in the back yard. All of a sudden I hear several loud hisses that sound like a damn snake warning of an impending strike.

I'm freaking out looking around for the source of this and it suddenly stops. I calm down a bit until I take a step and all of a sudden the hissing starts all over again. I feel a pinch on my toe and look down to find that bug hanging on for dear life as I flail my leg back and forth trying to shake this pinching hiss of doom creature off my toe.

Now... I realize at this point that its just a bug and probably harmless but my brain refused to rationalize that I am perfectly safe. I finally shake the thing off and immediately came inside to find out why in the hell I never knew that June Bugs f*cking hiss when pissed off.



Damn... learn something new every day.

blueballs
07-03-2008, 11:02 PM
I want one

DeezNutz
07-03-2008, 11:02 PM
The photo is actual size, I assume? If so, I'd say you were in real danger.

SPATCH
07-03-2008, 11:05 PM
how's your pooper???

pr_capone
07-03-2008, 11:06 PM
how's your pooper???

Thankfully everything seems to be back to normal. Odd really, never shat that much in such a short amount of time in my life... even with the runs.

I'll tell you what tho, this June Bug bout made me have an unscheduled evacuation in the back yard. lol

FAX
07-03-2008, 11:07 PM
That's pretty amazing. I don't believe I've ever seen one of those. I hope they don't come in swarms and you merely encountered one of the scouts.

Nevertheless, in cases like these, Mr. pr_capone, the main thing to remember is not to attempt to wear one as a hat.

FAX

Adept Havelock
07-03-2008, 11:12 PM
It may have implanted eggs in your toes. They might hatch, tunnel their way upwards through your legs, and feast on your family jewels. It may be like the podiatry version of the thing from Alien.

Better amputate that toe immediately just to be safe. Stick it in ice, take it to the doctor in the morning, and if it checks out they should be able to reattach it for you.

kcfanintitanhell
07-03-2008, 11:13 PM
That's pretty amazing. I don't believe I've ever seen one of those. I hope they don't come in swarms and you merely encountered one of the scouts.

Nevertheless, in cases like these, Mr. pr_capone, the main thing to remember is not to attempt to wear one as a hat.

FAX
Actually, Mr FAX, looking again at the photo, I think that would make a great hat, and depending on the size of the creature, an awesome James Brown-esque cape.

morphius
07-03-2008, 11:16 PM
get back to me when you don't look in your glass and take a drink only to realize there is something alive in your drink, and it doesn't want to go down your throat and you can't cough it out as it is freaking out and you are laying a line of cuss words out as to embarrass a sailor, then chugging everything you can find to get it down, as it keeps crawling back up...

and inside of your throat is raw for a few days.

Smed1065
07-03-2008, 11:18 PM
Wow a beetle.

Sell the house and move south then.

LOL.

Thats a baby and you are lucky you only have to worry about 4 poisonous critters in the USA. Total, counting snakes, spiders and all.

pr_capone
07-03-2008, 11:24 PM
Wow a beetle.

Sell the house and move south then.

LOL.

Thats a baby and you are lucky you only have to worry about 4 poisonous critters in the USA. Total, counting snakes, spiders and all.

LMFAO

In my defense... I realized that I was in no danger, it just took me a second to get out of SURVIVAL OF IMPENDING DOOM mode. :D

Smed1065
07-03-2008, 11:27 PM
LMFAO

In my defense... I realized that I was in no danger, it just took me a second to get out of SURVIVAL OF IMPENDING DOOM mode. :D

It is no fun to give monkey throws to those that realize it. LOL

Bet he came from the TP you have used in the last 3 days.

:p

Groves
07-03-2008, 11:32 PM
ok, out with the 4

Here's my guess: brown recluse, black widow, rattlesnake, and water moccasin?

Did gila monster get the 5-spot?

pr_capone
07-03-2008, 11:40 PM
Wow a beetle.

Sell the house and move south then.

LOL.

Thats a baby and you are lucky you only have to worry about 4 poisonous critters in the USA. Total, counting snakes, spiders and all.

An venomous critters native to Kansas.

Stripebacked Scorpion
Rattle Snake
Water Moccasin
Copperhead
Desert Massasauga
Western Massasauga
Brown Recluse
Black Widow

BUT... yeah. 4

Snakes
Lizards
Scorpions
Spiders

Bowser
07-03-2008, 11:42 PM
OHNO!! GODZEEERAH!!!!

kcfanintitanhell
07-03-2008, 11:45 PM
What are Massasaugas? And what distinguishes a Western one from a Desert one?

KCrockaholic
07-04-2008, 12:30 AM
An venomous critters native to Kansas.

Stripebacked Scorpion
Rattle Snake
Water Moccasin
Copperhead
Desert Massasauga
Western Massasauga
Brown Recluse
Black Widow

BUT... yeah. 4

Snakes
Lizards
Scorpions
Spiders

do you find many rattle snakes out there? in Pueblo Colorado rattle snakes are a daily occurance. and they are tough as nails, they dont die easily.

Smed1065
07-04-2008, 12:31 AM
An venomous critters native to Kansas.

Stripebacked Scorpion
Rattle Snake
Water Moccasin
Copperhead
Desert Massasauga
Western Massasauga
Brown Recluse
Black Widow

BUT... yeah. 4

Snakes
Lizards
Scorpions
Spiders

Venomous is different from deadly.

I meant deadly. Run for your life.

My bad.

pr_capone
07-04-2008, 12:38 AM
do you find many rattle snakes out there? in Pueblo Colorado rattle snakes are a daily occurance. and they are tough as nails, they dont die easily.

I see them out in the country on occasion but have only seen a few in the city itself.

I've never tried to kill one tho so I'll have to take your word for it. :D

Venomous is different from deadly.

I meant deadly. Run for your life.

My bad.

Ah.... I can understand the confusion.

To me though, as much as I would avoid the deadly type... I would just as much like to avoid the not so deadly but cause you mind numbing pain variety.

:D

Rausch
07-04-2008, 01:03 AM
I don't know about that kind but the average brown one's taste like popcorn...

pr_capone
07-04-2008, 01:12 AM
I don't know about that kind but the average brown one's taste like popcorn...

:Lin:

Smed1065
07-04-2008, 01:53 AM
I see them out in the country on occasion but have only seen a few in the city itself.

I've never tried to kill one tho so I'll have to take your word for it.



ROFL



Ah.... I can understand the confusion.

To me though, as much as I would avoid the deadly type... I would just as much like to avoid the not so deadly but cause you mind numbing pain variety.

:D

Free high?

ROFL