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View Full Version : Poop This gangbang is so awkward


Silock
07-11-2008, 04:52 PM
This Gangbang Is So Awkward
(no idea who wrote this, but it's funny as hell)

Oh man. How did I talk myself into this? This was not a good idea.

What am I supposed to be doing right now? Should I be doing something? She looks pretty occupied currently. She's already handling three dudes. I guess I'll just stand here and stroke it some more. Keep your head together Kev. Your time will come. Man this gangbang is awkward!

This seemed like it would be awesome. It always looked so cool in the videos. But all this waiting and watching is really uncomfortable.

I figured I'd just sort of fall into a natural rhythm and find my groove, but I've gotta admit that I am really perplexed as to the proper gangbang protocol here.

Whoa. She just looked at me. Does that mean she wants me to come up there so she can suck me off? Maybe that's what she's indicating. But what if she didn't mean that? What if I go up there and shove my junk in her face and she doesn't want anything to do with it? I'd look like a real horse's ass then. I'd better just wait here.

Man this guy's taking a long time. Come on dude, who are you trying to impress here? There are other guys waiting.

Look at that guy's penis! It's way bigger then mine. Thicker at least. I hope I don't have to follow him. She won't even know I'm in there.

Oh man, he caught me staring at it. Well that's just great. Now he's gonna think I'm queer. I'm not queer man. I'm just a little self conscious. God this is awkward.

It's too hot in here.

These guys are all saying sexy things to her. I'm the only one who's not talking dirty. I should say something so that they don't think I'm lame. Here goes....

"Yeah, you like that bitch!"

Shit. That was stupid. Now everyone's looking at me like I'm some misogynistic asshole.

I am an asshole. Why did I have to say the most cliché, demeaning thing I could think of? Like I need to remind her that she "likes that". Smooth move dumbass.

I wonder why she's doing this. I'll bet she had a bad childhood. She probably lacked a strong paternal figure in her life.

Damn it. Now I'm half mast. Now I look like the guy that can't keep it up. Concentrate Buck... Stop psychoanalyzing and keep your mind on the sex.

Okay here we go, that guy's done. About time. Should I go now? I've waited long enough, I'm going in there.

Damn it. The Italian guy beat me to it. I was here way before the Italian guy. How are we determining who's turn it is here anyways? Was there some sign up sheet I missed or something? Damn it.

Steady Kevin old boy. There's plenty for everyone. Just wait it out. Deep breaths.

I hope no one tries to go anal when I'm taking my turn. I'm not real cool with my stuff touching another guy's stuff. And I think that would be unavoidable. That would be really awkward.

Something in here stinks. Is that me? I hope it's not me. Oh man, I hope it's not her! Wait, no, it's the Italian guy. Thank God.

Okay, time to make your move Kev... I've gotta get in there and mix it up. Other wise I'm that creep at the gangbang who's just watching and beating off. You've gotta be in it to win it. Okay here goes.

Wait, what's going on? Everyone's finishing off on her! We're climaxing already? We just got started! I haven't even gone yet!

Okay stay calm Buck.. No one knows that. Just finish yourself off so that you're not the odd man out.

Well this was great. This was just great. A red letter day in my sad sexual history. And what am I supposed to do now? Do we all hang around for a while and talk about it? Where should I clean up?

God this is awkward.

penguinz
07-11-2008, 05:05 PM
that is ... ummmm ... I don;t know what to say.

Dicky McElephant
07-11-2008, 05:07 PM
ROFL

Silock
07-11-2008, 05:11 PM
that is ... ummmm ... I don;t know what to say.

Awkward, isn't it? :eek:

Baby Lee
07-11-2008, 05:25 PM
Effing lime thieves!!!

MIAdragon
07-11-2008, 05:55 PM
Effing lime thieves!!!

Effing Lime WHORES!!!

ChiefsFire
07-11-2008, 06:02 PM
Ya never wanna touch swords I promise you that.

Donger
07-11-2008, 06:05 PM
I've never understood the gangbang thing. Two or three girls and I sure, but one girl and five other guys? Why?

blueballs
07-11-2008, 06:13 PM
What if you reach out and grab a tit and dude pulls out and shoots
do you offer it up for her to lick off or punch him in the face
no -erect dudes shouldn't fight

Count Alex's Losses
07-11-2008, 06:20 PM
I've never understood the gangbang thing. Two or three girls and I sure, but one girl and five other guys? Why?

Why not? It's all flesh. Just press it together until you climax. **** yeah.

Donger
07-11-2008, 06:25 PM
Why not? It's all flesh. Just press it together until you climax. **** yeah.

Your opinion on this matter is moot.

ChiefsFire
07-11-2008, 06:28 PM
What if you reach out and grab a tit and dude pulls out and shoots
do you offer it up for her to lick off or punch him in the face
no -erect dudes shouldn't fight

Better have a long reach....with your punches.

crazycoffey
07-11-2008, 07:30 PM
Your opinion on this matter is moot.



his opinion would be better if it was mute.....

Count Alex's Losses
07-11-2008, 08:20 PM
Your opinion on this matter is moot.

Why? I don't mind seeing other dudes naked. It'd almost be like watching porn, but live. And participating.

Jilly
07-11-2008, 08:30 PM
hilarious

Donger
07-11-2008, 08:36 PM
Why? I don't mind seeing other dudes naked. It'd almost be like watching porn, but live. And participating.

Get your little carrot wet, and then we'll talk.

Count Alex's Losses
07-11-2008, 08:37 PM
Are you saying I don't necessarily know what I'd like, sexually?

BigRedChief
07-11-2008, 08:41 PM
Are you saying I don't necessarily know what I'd like, sexually?
http://www.forumspile.com/Gay-Nature-Cactus.jpg

Donger
07-11-2008, 08:47 PM
Are you saying I don't necessarily know what I'd like, sexually?

Yes. Until you actually participate in sexual activity with another human, you don't know.

Count Alex's Losses
07-11-2008, 08:50 PM
I COULD BE GAY

Skip Towne
07-11-2008, 09:32 PM
I COULD BE GAY

A distinct possibility.

Der Flöprer
07-11-2008, 09:45 PM
I've never understood the gangbang thing. Two or three girls and I sure, but one girl and five other guys? Why?

Latent behavior.

crazycoffey
07-11-2008, 09:50 PM
I'm with donger on this one, I don't see the appeal....

KcMizzou
07-11-2008, 09:51 PM
I'm with donger on this one, I don't see the appeal....Agreed. Only one wang per encounter, please. Preferably mine.

OnTheWarpath58
07-11-2008, 09:53 PM
Agreed. Only one wang per encounter, please. Preferably mine.

LMAO

Yep. That sums it up from my POV.

crazycoffey
07-11-2008, 10:08 PM
also to comment on the other aspect of Donger's post, more than one hole, while it sounds appealling, it just may be too much for me to bare. I'm fine with the one woman dance just fine.

But of course if Jessica simpson and Jessica alba wanted me to play with them, I'd have to change my mind... :D

Donger
07-11-2008, 10:12 PM
I COULD BE GAY

Or you could be straight. Or you could be bisexual.

ChiefsPlanet awaits, with great trepidation, the answer.

crazycoffey
07-11-2008, 10:15 PM
Or you could be straight. Or you could be bisexual.

ChiefsPlanet awaits, with great trepidation, the answer.


amen, brother....

BigRock
07-11-2008, 10:18 PM
I've never understood the gangbang thing. Two or three girls and I sure, but one girl and five other guys? Why?

Here's an explaination I saw once.

After spending several years in the adult industry, one of the most common questions I got from friends regarded the art of the gangbang. Oddly, most of the questions came from my male friends, which I take to mean that all the females I know are on board with the idea of handling multiple men at once. Of course, maybe they just didn't care enough about the topic to ask, but that idea isn't as fun to consider.

Basically, the question my guy friends asked was why a bunch of men would spend want to stand around trying to stay hard while one girl's holes get pounded in multiple positions.

Well, in porn, it's because they get paid to. Porn gangbangs exist because there's a market for people who want to see a girl get ****ed by a lot of guys.

But everyone understands that. The questions I got were related more to real-life gangbangs. Everyone sees the appeal of a guy being with more than one woman. But unless a guy was on a porn set getting paid, why would he want to join up with 5 other guys to take on one girl?

The simple answer is that normal guys don't. Not unless he's a shamless man whore, the type who would **** anything with a pulse, the type who goes to family reunions and talks his drunk cousins into following him into the upstairs bathroom for a quick BJ. (Don't laugh, I know at least 2 guys who've done that. And they're just the ones who admitted it. Actually, one was with the guy's aunt, not his cousin.)

The kind of guy who could pull off a threesome with 2 girls isn't the kind of guy who's going to take part in a gangbang. Real-life gangbangs exist for one key reason: because there are girls who are slutty/drunk/high/desperate-for-money enough that they'll participate in one so that a group of 4-5-6 guys who normally would have little to no chance of scoring with a girl can "get lucky".

Remember that 80's movie with Jodie Foster, where she got raped on a pinball machine in a bar? And there were these fat sweaty guys in flannel stepping up to take their turn with her? These are the guys who take part in a real-life gangbang.

A normal guy isn't going to find it appealing to stick it in a girl after 2-3 other guys just came out of the same place. He's not going to find it appealing to bang her while other guys stand around stroking their meat. But your typical gangbang guy, that's really his only shot at getting some tang. So while he probably doesn't find it appealing either, he puts up with it to get him some.

There are less common scenarios, like the one involving actual gangs. The way I've heard it, there have been occasions where the ex-wife or ex-girlfriend of a key gang member will let members of his rival gang run a train on her. The motivation for the guys to take part there is revenge or to humiliate another guy.

But by and large, your normal gangbang is a group of sweaty losers and a poor girl who is hopefully too drunk to remember it later.

Donger
07-11-2008, 10:20 PM
Here's an explaination I saw once.

Ick. I'd rather f*ck the Thanksgiving turkey.

crazycoffey
07-11-2008, 10:25 PM
Ick. I'd rather f*ck the Thanksgiving turkey.


ROFL

KcMizzou
07-11-2008, 10:27 PM
Ick. I'd rather f*ck the Thanksgiving turkey.Be sure to thaw it first.

That explanation sounds pretty spot-on to me.

Jayhawkerman2001
07-12-2008, 01:13 AM
this is hilarious because i think to myself constantly that I could never do a gangbang because i think way too god damn much like this guy. I've tried to imagine myself in one but those exact questions pop up...

Low self-esteem sucks ass...

Jayhawkerman2001
07-12-2008, 01:14 AM
I COULD BE GAY

if you were gay you'd know it by now my friend...

KcMizzou
07-12-2008, 01:17 AM
this is hilarious because i think to myself constantly that I could never do a gangbang because i think we too god damn much like this guy. You kinda lost me there...

We too much like this guy?

Jayhawkerman2001
07-12-2008, 01:20 AM
You kinda lost me there...

We too much like this guy?

yah i just caught that. ill edit it to how it should be

KcMizzou
07-12-2008, 01:26 AM
yah i just caught that. ill edit it to how it should beOk, that makes more sense.

If I'm reading it right, the moral of the story is, "No sausage parties."

Agreed.

eazyb81
07-12-2008, 12:43 PM
Ha, this was f'n hilarious.