I need a name for a new sex position.

[Direckshun]

I don't think it's new to the universe, and I haven't consulted the Karma Sutra on this matter. But the girlfriend and I ended up in a fairly unique position by our standards and I haven't been able to locate it on any sex position websites, which will now start spamming my inbox and will probably give my computer a virus.

The closest I came to a position was what this website called the "lawn chair," but there are differences.

How Do You Get Into This Position?

Missionary. Very basic. Then you sit up, mostly on your own heels, and bring her up towards you. She does not sit all the way up, instead she holds herself up by putting both of her arms on the mattress (or surface of choice) behind her.

At this juncture, you should be sitting back on your own heels, she's facing you, her legs should be on either side of you, her hips should be against your hips, and she should be leaning back, holding herself up off the mattress with her own arms.

But How Does It Work?

At this point you'll lean on top of her. About half your body weight is being supported by her (helps if she's strong), and half is supported by putting your hands down on the mattress on either side of her.

At this point you can start gyrating and pumping your hips and it gives you an upward trajectory against her body, and at least in my situation, it feels great for me and it slams into her G-spot.

What I Need You To Do

I'm going to start a wildfire and ask for your help. I don't know what to call this name, and I'm looking for the typical sex name: short, sweet, and hilarious.

Do your best to visualize whatever the hell I just described and help me out.

[penguinz]

The Ninja Turtle!

[Nzoner]

For an older focker like me I'd call that a back spasm

[Direckshun]

The Ninja Turtle!
COWABUNGA!!!!!!!!!!

[Mecca]

You have to post a picture of your g/f first.

[ChiefsOne]

This thread is worthless ...... well you know the routine.

[ChiefsOne]

The Grasshopper

[Redrum_69]

The Bob Dole

[Direckshun]

You have to post a picture of your g/f first.
You asked for it, Clarence.

Keep in mind: she's mine.

[rad]

Seems like simple elevated missionary to me. Good job, I saw the whole thing. Might wanna consider painting those walls.

[tyton75]

Dude.. she has a green discharge coming from her crotch.... RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Direckshun]

Seems like simple elevated missionary to me.

That name isn't tasty enough.

I want something with a proper name. The Bob Dole sounds promising. Something along those lines.

[Nzoner]

Seriously,I'd call it The Clockwork Orange,based on the tables in the film

http://www.moviecritic.com.au/images/a-clockwork-orange-alex-at-the-korova-milk-bar.jpg

[rad]

Seriously,I'd call it The Clockwork Orange,based on the tables in the film

http://www.moviecritic.com.au/images/a-clockwork-orange-alex-at-the-korova-milk-bar.jpg

That's pretty good...

[rad]

That name isn't tasty enough.

I want something with a proper name. The Bob Dole sounds promising. Something along those lines.

Whoa! What did Dole have to do with it? You holding out pertinent info?

Name it after yourself or her, or a mixture of both.

[Direckshun]

That is damn good. I need more pictures of those tables.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

The Springfield C*nt Augur.

[Direckshun]

Name it after yourself or her, or a mixture of both.
WTF do we look like? Bradgelina?

[Direckshun]

The Springfield C*nt Augur.
LMAO

[Stryker]

It's a position in sex that's done by the masses
It's not the 69 or what you learned in classes
It increases the intensity of the f@cK
Legs thrown up high known as...

THE BUCK!

:D

[TinyEvel]

The coffee table.
The levitating woman
The Pottery Barn
the hammer and the anvil

[Hog Farmer]

Call it "The Antifreeze"

[FAX]

Hmmm. It sounds as though this position might be potentially painful for the female partner, Mr. Direckshun. One slip and she transitions from being adrift in the seas of intense pleasure to sunk amidst the razor sharp reefs of physical agony.

Ergo; The Dreadnaught.

FAX

[ChiefsOne]

Why not call it the Direckshun?

[BucEyedPea]

Rocking Chair

[Redrum_69]

Fierce Grape Gatorade

[StcChief]

Rocking Chairyep.
nice to think kids found something new (let 'em dream)

[Mr. Plow]

"The Tits McGee"

[InChiefsHell]

You asked for it, Clarence.

Keep in mind: she's mine.

Wow, look at the guns on her! Congrats bro!!:D

[acesn8s]

The Bob Dole Direckshun

[RJ]

I don't have an answer but I do want to say that it's nice to see a thread with an FAQ section. I like that.

[FAX]

Not bad nemesis. But, maybe some kind of variation would work better like, for example; "The Bobbin' Doley Pole"?

FAX

[stumppy]

The "Stump Hump"

[Braincase]

The Midnight Vulture Mounts His Rice Burner

[FAX]

I still worry about how comfortable the female is in this whole deal.

How about, "The Seizing Cramp That Won't Go Away" position?

FAX

[sedated]

footy pajamas

[acesn8s]

Not bad nemesis. But, maybe some kind of variation would work better like, for example; "The Bobbin' Doley Pole"?

FAXOr the FAX faux pas ****? :shrug:

[tooge]

the IR, or injured reserve. That is what I would be placed on if I tried that chit.

[gblowfish]

The Telescope
The Loose Gutter
The Silly Straw
The Illegal Left Turn
The Futon Breaker

[boogblaster]

Headless Heel

[MVChiefFan]

The "Jim Jones" - missionary with a twist.

[StcChief]

I still worry about how comfortable the female is in this whole deal.

How about, "The Seizing Cramp That Won't Go Away" position?

FAXas long as the cramp/clamp is right.

[Branden Albert's Huge Balls]

Kinky Overdrive

[angelo]

I may be envisioning this wrong ,but I keep seeing a lower with hydraulics bouncing up and down.

So maybe call it the Lowrider.

Ang

[FAX]

The "Jim Jones" - missionary with a twist.

I'm no judge of sex position names, but I think this is excellent, Mr. MVChiefFan. It has it all; illiteration, easy to remember, and accurately describes this modified missionary with the potential to end very badly. Great job.

FAX

[MVChiefFan]

I'm no judge of sex position names, but I think this is excellent, Mr. MVChiefFan. It has it all; illiteration, easy to remember, and accurately describes this modified missionary with the potential to end very badly. Great job.

FAX

ROFL Your "wordsmithery" always astounds me! You nailed it on the head as usual. Coming from you fax, this is a true compliment.

[Adept Havelock]

I'm no judge of sex position names, but I think this is excellent, Mr. MVChiefFan. It has it all; illiteration, easy to remember, and accurately describes this modified missionary with the potential to end very badly. Great job.

FAX

LMAO

A superb assessment of a great name.

[Bowser]

The Ramma Jamma Ding Dong Slamma

[the_spatula]

I'm no judge of sex position names, but I think this is excellent, Mr. MVChiefFan. It has it all; illiteration, easy to remember, and accurately describes this modified missionary with the potential to end very badly. Great job.

FAX

ROFL Your "wordsmithery" always astounds me! You nailed it on the head as usual. Coming from you fax, this is a true compliment.

i agree except...

the word is alliteration. minor mistake in wordsmithery

[BigChiefFan]

Read the Kama Sutra, I'm sure this isn't a new position.

[blueballs]

what ever comes out of your gf's voice box
while in the act

[StcChief]

Read the Kama Sutra, I'm sure this isn't a new position.it isn't.... Rocking Chair or (DotNotFeather equivlent name)
for it.

but an updated (1978?) "Jim Jones" Missionary with a twist is ok too.

[FAX]

i agree except...

the word is alliteration. minor mistake in wordsmithery

Dang.

Sounds like ...

FAX

[booger]

sounds like jenga

one false move and you all fall down.

which reminds me of ring around the rosey.
///////////////////////////////////////////


Ring around the jenga.

Ring around the jenga
i slam my pecker in ya
slippy splashy
we all fall down.

[Rain Man]

The Partial Threesome.

[FAX]

That gives me a pretty fair idea, Mr. Rain Man. If she had a horse and, after sex, Mr. Direckshun ran him off, he could call it the El Guapo!!!

FAX

[Rain Man]

i agree except...

the word is alliteration. minor mistake in wordsmithery



I think there's some really sophisticated humor involved in misspelling a word as illiteration.

[FAX]

I think there's some really sophisticated humor involved in misspelling a word as illiteration.

Thank you, Mr. Rain Man. I am oft misunderstood in the world of normal people. For example, I think Mr. the_spatula considers me to be alliterate.

FAX

[Rain Man]

Thank you, Mr. Rain Man. I am oft misunderstood in the world of normal people. For example, I think Mr. the_spatula considers me to be alliterate.

FAX

I think the world of normal people is a scam filmed on a sound stage in a California warehouse.

[Easy Money]

The Failed Triangle Choke

[Chiefs=Good]

I may be visualizing this entirely wrong, but couldn’t u just do it with pillows or a wall, or even both. May save some pain...?

[JuicesFlowing]

You asked for it, Clarence.

Keep in mind: she's mine.

Isn't that Robert Smith of The Cure?