PDA

View Full Version : Life My wife just slugged me across the face


Silock
07-25-2008, 02:00 AM
... and I totally deserved it.

I was in the other room on the computer and my wife had already gone to bed. All of a sudden, I hear her scream. I jump up and run in the room to see what was going on. The dog was freaking out, the cats had scattered, the covers were completely thrown off the bed and she's standing near the light switch just staring at the bed. Apparently, she'd had some sort of nightmare and thought she saw something. I helped her put the covers back on the bed and she goes back to sleep.

You can probably see where this is going already. I wait for her to fall back asleep and go to the closet and grab a flashlight and a gorilla mask. I sneak back into the room and turn on the flashlight (underneath my face) and yell "AAAAARGH!!!!" She screams once again, freaks out and slugs me right across the face LMAO

She was not amused, but I was laughing my ass off anyway. She eventually started laughing, and has since gone back to sleep. She did lock the bedroom door, though, so I'm sleeping on the couch.

It was totally worth it.

JuicesFlowing
07-25-2008, 02:04 AM
The fact that you have a gorilla mask is pretty great. Next time try the full gorilla suit ... that would really scare the bejeezus out of her.

big nasty kcnut
07-25-2008, 02:13 AM
That messed up. You better protect your manhood.

FAX
07-25-2008, 02:30 AM
Awesome, Mr. Silock.

Next time, try the bloody knife trick. Do the exact same thing, but instead of a gorilla mask and a flashlight, just walk into the room with a large kitchen knife or meat cleaver covered with ketchup. Good times.

FAX

Kraus
07-25-2008, 02:34 AM
Awesome. I'm glad I'm not the only one that tries to scare the hell out of my girl just for laughs.

FAX
07-25-2008, 02:44 AM
I have an idea. Since she's locked you out of the bedroom, you can combine The Bloody Knife Trick with the ol' Door Bust Down! She'll love you for it.

FAX

CrazyPhuD
07-25-2008, 03:11 AM
Next time be naked except for the gorilla mask.

POND_OF_RED
07-25-2008, 03:23 AM
Awesome, Mr. Silock.

Next time, try the bloody knife trick. Do the exact same thing, but instead of a gorilla mask and a flashlight, just walk into the room with a large kitchen knife or meat cleaver covered with ketchup. Good times.

FAX

John Bobbitt would like to take this time to remind us all that kitchen utensils are for kitchen use only.

Programmer
07-25-2008, 03:49 AM
John Bobbitt would like to take this time to remind us all that kitchen utensils are for kitchen use only.

You did hear the story about Lorena's sister? She figured if her sis could do it so could she.

One night after her old man had gone to bed she took the knife and headed for his necessary man parts. At the last minute he saw the knife and moved, but not far enough. She cut his leg badly. He knocked the shit out of her and held her down, dialed the police and attempted to stop the bleeding.

The police arrived along with the ambulance. She went to the police station he went to the emergency room.

After treatment he went to press charges. The police told him that she had been released. They studied the available laws and found that they could only charge her with a "mistaweiner".






I'll be going to stand in the corner now.

gblowfish
07-25-2008, 06:46 AM
Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

Skip Towne
07-25-2008, 06:50 AM
Remove any firearms from the house

PhillyChiefFan
07-25-2008, 07:33 AM
That's f*cked up! But hilarious...you are right, totally worth a night on the couch.

Archie F. Swin
07-25-2008, 07:47 AM
my wife would have waited until I fell asleep...and smothered me with a pillow.

biggunns
07-25-2008, 07:59 AM
Funny as hell!!!ROFLROFL

Lzen
07-25-2008, 08:22 AM
Wow. Some people have a strange idea of foreplay.

StcChief
07-25-2008, 08:57 AM
Wow. Some people have a strange idea of foreplay.and delayed make up :hump:

Der Flöprer
07-25-2008, 09:19 AM
Dude, that is ****ING awesome!!!!! I'm so proud of you today.

Adept Havelock
07-25-2008, 09:19 AM
Not bad, just remember you have to sleep sometime. Be vigilant.

You may end up wanting to put a cot in the middle of a ring of barbed wire as Capt. Pierce did during the "great joke off" with Capt. Hunnicut.

CoMoChief
07-25-2008, 09:30 AM
You have to see the youtube video of the guy dressed up as Darth Vader and does virtually the same thing. hilarious.

BucEyedPea
07-25-2008, 10:08 AM
You deserved it. I slugged a man once for less than that.

Joie
07-25-2008, 10:18 AM
I'm glad you realize you deserved to be hit. Be glad if that and a night on the couch are your only punishments.

StcChief
07-25-2008, 10:19 AM
Men are boys with bigger toys..... get use to it.

Joie
07-25-2008, 10:21 AM
Men are boys with bigger toys..... get use to it.

I'm just saying it's a good thing he's not mad that she slugged him.

penguinz
07-25-2008, 10:30 AM
I have a scream mask and the exact same knife from the movies.

chagrin
07-25-2008, 10:49 AM
LMAO That's fantastic!

SNAFU
07-25-2008, 12:01 PM
<object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/z058hRxR-Qo"> </param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/z058hRxR-Qo" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"> </embed> </object>

DaFace
07-25-2008, 12:08 PM
<object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/z058hRxR-Qo"> </param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/z058hRxR-Qo" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"> </embed> </object>

My wife would kill me if I did that. It does strike me as being a little fake, though. She sure sat there and stared at the gun for a LONG time.

DJJasonp
07-25-2008, 12:11 PM
I have an idea. Since she's locked you out of the bedroom, you can combine The Bloody Knife Trick with the ol' Door Bust Down! She'll love you for it.

FAX

Combine that with a midnight phone call to Al Cowlings and a high-speed chase to the border in a white ford bronco...

Good times!

Silock
07-25-2008, 04:40 PM
I'm glad you realize you deserved to be hit. Be glad if that and a night on the couch are your only punishments.

Oh, I'm sure she'll get me back some time.

Frazod
07-25-2008, 04:52 PM
The next time she's in the shower, dump a big glass of ice water over her head. With or without the ice cubes in it (I'll leave that part up to you).

That'll teach her.

:evil:

JuicesFlowing
07-25-2008, 04:55 PM
I have an idea. Since she's locked you out of the bedroom, you can combine The Bloody Knife Trick with the ol' Door Bust Down! She'll love you for it.

FAX

Make sure there no loaded weapons in the bedroom ...

Silock
07-25-2008, 04:58 PM
The next time she's in the shower, dump a big glass of ice water over her head. With or without the ice cubes in it (I'll leave that part up to you).

That'll teach her.

:evil:

Pssh... I do that all the time.

I dump cold water on her in the shower, and then flush the toilet.

Frazod
07-25-2008, 04:59 PM
Pssh... I do that all the time.

I dump cold water on her in the shower, and then flush the toilet.

Fun, ain't it? :evil:

HemiEd
07-25-2008, 05:06 PM
:)I have heard too much protein in the system, will cause this kind of behavior.

Joie
07-25-2008, 05:13 PM
Pssh... I do that all the time.

I dump cold water on her in the shower, and then flush the toilet.

And this is why bathrooms have locks on the doors. :grr:

CoMoChief
07-25-2008, 05:17 PM
The next time she's in the shower, dump a big glass of ice water over her head. With or without the ice cubes in it (I'll leave that part up to you).

That'll teach her.

:evil:

Me and my dad used to pull that prank on eachother. Fun times.

JBucc
07-25-2008, 05:22 PM
Be glad your wife isn't a black guy.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JXeVxf4c0Rk&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JXeVxf4c0Rk&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FQ-fL2XjCFE&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FQ-fL2XjCFE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Bearcat
07-25-2008, 05:30 PM
LMAO

You should have snuck out of the house, killed a guy that's about your size/build and cut him up real good, lay him on your couch with blankets over his face, and go to a motel for the night.






I watch too much Family Guy.

Extra Point
07-25-2008, 06:22 PM
Pssh... I do that all the time.

I dump cold water on her in the shower, and then flush the toilet.

Genius!

FAX
07-25-2008, 09:17 PM
Pssh... I do that all the time.

I dump cold water on her in the shower, and then flush the toilet.

ROFL

Tough love.

FAX

Ebolapox
07-26-2008, 10:21 AM
ROFL.

brilliant. just brilliant.

Skip Towne
07-26-2008, 10:41 AM
And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high.