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View Full Version : Elections He ventured forth to bring light to the world


bkkcoh
07-25-2008, 06:30 AM
Link (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/gerard_baker/article4392846.ece)

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.

He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the

Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.

And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the

Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.

From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.

And lo, in Mesopotamia, a miracle occurred. Even though the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources and doomed to end in disaster, the Child's very presence suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the light.

And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares.

From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem, and entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered “Hosanna” and waved great palm fronds and strewed them at his feet.

In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine, the Child spake to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold. And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived for ever after in peace.

As word spread throughout the land about the Child's wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.

And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child's journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over.

The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.

And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again.

Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it.

And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times.

Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length.

But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all the hours they had waited for him.

And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters. So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets.

Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not.

On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.

And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”



How in the wolrd can McCain even be on the same stage as him.

memyselfI
07-25-2008, 07:00 AM
Berlin is turning into a joke sooner than I thought it would. CNN is showing a clip of a man saying he will never wash his hand after shaking hands with HIM. ROFL

BigCatDaddy
07-25-2008, 07:16 AM
They worshiped the beast, saying, 'Who is like the beast? Who is able to make war with him?'"

Baby Lee
07-25-2008, 08:05 AM
http://www.236.com/blog/w/greg_gutfeld/what_obama_can_teach_jesus_7854.php
While Senator and presidential hopeful Barack Obama tours the Middle East, he brings to mind another inspirational leader who made waves in that neck of the woods not too long ago.

That's right, Jesus Christ.

While many people see Obama as someone who draws inspiration from Christ, I view it the other way around.

I mean, what could Jesus learn from Obama?

I remember a time when Jesus was plagued with doubt, and wondered if he was up to the task his Father had given him. This is something, I sense, that just doesn't happen with Obama. Some call it arrogance, but I call it "spiritual confidence." Seriously, would Obama have told God, "Sorry Dad, I can't die for every one's sins. I want to build canoes." Not on your life, people. Obama would take on such challenges with a hearty laugh, and a "bring it on" attitude. Jesus could learn from this, if he wasn't busy whining.

Jesus also took a lot of grief for hanging with the wrong crowd -- paupers, thieves -- even a "scorned" woman. Well, all one needs to do is look at Obama, and marvel at the way he stuck by a life partner with controversial beliefs -- as well as his unusual friend in the Weather Underground. I think Jesus could learn a thing or two about loyalty, here. And yet, Obama also knew exactly when it was time to move on from a destructive relationship, as he did with Reverend Wright. If only Jesus had seen that coming with Judas.

When Jesus died for our sins, he was in his early thirties - far too inexperienced for such an undertaking. Aside from carpentry, what experience did he really have in making the world a better place? Did he ever run a corporation, hold public office for many years, or enlist in the military? No, no, and no. A holy Trinity of no's ... like Obama. But Obama has roughly 15 years on Jesus, so you could argue he is more qualified to save the world. Plus, he traveled more extensively, went to better schools, can probably speak more languages and experimented with narcotics. He's truly a man of all people.

Many critics say Jesus flip flopped on issues -- on the one hand he preaches forgiveness, on the other he mentions an eternity of Hell for those who do wrong against God. But just by looking at the way Obama shifts beliefs based on how it helps him politically, you see that all great leaders become great through a willingness to change. I mean, if you keep falling down -- maybe it's time to find a better cross.

And sure, Jesus Christ had a funny name. Well, friend, here are a few other "funny" names: Ghandhi, Confucius, Zoroaster, Obama, Pitt. Meanwhile, here are some names that are very common: Koresh, Manson, Bush. You get the picture.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler. And probably racist, too.

markk
07-25-2008, 08:22 AM
hilarious

the Brits at least can see what a big joke Big Media has become.

memyselfI
07-25-2008, 08:49 AM
This is exactly what I meant about the wisdom of McCain's juxtaposition in visiting a German restaurant while NObama's giving a sermon on the mount. To the Obots it looked like a pathetic and small gesture compared to the grandeur of Nobama's word to the masses.

But to mere mortals the contrast and symbolism is not lost. McCain's camp brilliantly figured out a way to play NObama's use of symbolism against itself. Making the scene man vs. Messiah, mortal vs. immortal.

While NObama was proclaiming himself as a mere citizen of the world in front of hundreds of thousands, McCain was presenting himself as regular Joe in front of a mom and pop hole in the wall. Knowing full well the contrast is comical and pathetic but also is tangible and real vs. the carefully crafted fantasy that NObama was displaying.

I think it was brilliant and I believe the Berlin speech will be a watershed moment in the campaign...

for McCain.

Fish
07-25-2008, 08:56 AM
This is exactly what I meant about the wisdom of McCain's juxtaposition in visiting a German restaurant while NObama's giving a sermon on the mount. To the Obots it looked like a pathetic and small gesture compared to the grandeur of Nobama's word to the masses.

But to mere mortals the contrast and symbolism is not lost. McCain's camp brilliantly figured out a way to play NObama's use of symbolism against itself. Making the scene man vs. Messiah, mortal vs. immortal.

While NObama was proclaiming himself as a mere citizen of the world in front of hundreds of thousands, McCain was presenting himself as regular Joe in front of a mom and pop hole in the wall. Knowing full well the contrast is comical and pathetic but also is tangible and real vs. the carefully crafted fantasy that NObama was displaying.

I think it was brilliant and I believe the Berlin speech will be a watershed moment in the campaign...

for McCain.

You are a pandora's box of idiocy, hate, and contempt.

***SPRAYER
07-25-2008, 08:57 AM
You are a pandora's box of idiocy, hate, and contempt.

Ad Hominum.

markk
07-25-2008, 09:01 AM
This is exactly what I meant about the wisdom of McCain's juxtaposition in visiting a German restaurant while NObama's giving a sermon on the mount. To the Obots it looked like a pathetic and small gesture compared to the grandeur of Nobama's word to the masses.

But to mere mortals the contrast and symbolism is not lost. McCain's camp brilliantly figured out a way to play NObama's use of symbolism against itself. Making the scene man vs. Messiah, mortal vs. immortal.

While NObama was proclaiming himself as a mere citizen of the world in front of hundreds of thousands, McCain was presenting himself as regular Joe in front of a mom and pop hole in the wall. Knowing full well the contrast is comical and pathetic but also is tangible and real vs. the carefully crafted fantasy that NObama was displaying.

I think it was brilliant and I believe the Berlin speech will be a watershed moment in the campaign...

for McCain.

The German restaurant thing wasn't very competent of them. He didn't do himself any favors there because it looks small-time.

The hubris, with Obama acting like he thinks he's already president on this trip, his forming a transition team, etc., those are the kinds of things that tell average people he's an elitist and walks around with a sense of entitlement to the office. Americans don't like that kind of attitude. They haven't had their say yet and he thinks he's already got it.

When people get overly proud Americans like to see them humbled. We as a culture value humility and respect, not hubris and pride. Pride comes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

I think libs who were already on his side love this trip, but I doubt anyone else does. McCain didn't capitalize on it as he could have. He should have been touring a factory, you know... go to a German restaurant for lunch or whatever, but get some photos on the news (media embargo on mccain notwithstanding) of him with steelworkers or auto workers, or police and fire personnel, teachers... visit with some veterans, etc.

While Obama is courting the Europeean people, show McCain as a man of the American people.

They didn't capitalize on it, in my opinion.

***SPRAYER
07-25-2008, 09:03 AM
McCain didn't capitalize on it as he could have. He should have been touring a factory, you know... go to a German restaurant for lunch or whatever, but get some photos on the news (embargo notwithstanding) of him with steelworkers or auto workers, or police and fire personnel. .


McCain was scheduled to visit an oil rig in the Gulf, but bad weather caused a last minute change of plans.

markk
07-25-2008, 09:09 AM
McCain was scheduled to visit an oil rig in the Gulf, but bad weather caused a last minute change of plans.

That was a stupid idea. I get the point, he is in favor of offshore drilling, but people see him on an oil rig and it's easy for the left to paint him in a caricature.

McCain's campaign is a bunch of nincompoops. Obama is an empty suit, he's made more than enough gaffes, he's prancing around Europe like Elton John and he's already crowned himself King of America. McCain is a well-respected Senator, a veteran, someone who enjoyed widespread public acclaim until the media had to turn on him once he won the primaries.

He's still within a few points, but if the campaign is at all competent, they ought to be able to win. The have the candidate voters go for in america... not some bingo organizer who ran for president after 143 days in the senate

memyselfI
07-25-2008, 09:10 AM
The German restaurant thing wasn't very competent of them. He didn't do himself any favors there because it looks small-time.


While Obama is courting the Europeean people, show McCain as a man of the American people.

They didn't capitalize on it, in my opinion.

Your first point is wrong and I disagree. I think the juxtaposition was on point and completely effective. It was not set up to bash you over the head but rather subliminally set a contrast that people will not go :doh!: over rather it will subtly allow people to see a contrast that they can relate to. Which is what makes the bolded point correct and why I feel they handled the Berlin speech masterfully.

BucEyedPea
07-25-2008, 09:10 AM
Why are our candidates touring Europe on their campaign trials?
Wtf? Are they all going to vote? This is America. I can see the ME due to the military action there currently but wtf?

***SPRAYER
07-25-2008, 09:12 AM
That was a stupid idea. I get the point, he is in favor of offshore drilling, but people see him on an oil rig and it's easy for the left to paint him in a caricature.

McCain's campaign is a bunch of nincompoops. Obama is an empty suit, he's made more than enough gaffes, he's prancing around Europe like Elton John and he's already crowned himself King of America. McCain is a well-respected Senator, a veteran, someone who enjoyed widespread public acclaim until the media had to turn on him once he won the primaries.

He's still within a few points, but if the campaign is at all competent, they ought to be able to win. The have the candidate voters go for in america... not some bingo organizer who ran for president after 143 days in the senate

I'm with you. McCain should hire Dick Morris and crew. They would go on the attack and put Obama on defense from now until November. It would be easy, there is so much material to work with.

memyselfI
07-25-2008, 09:13 AM
McCain's campaign is a bunch of nincompoops. Obama is an empty suit, he's made more than enough gaffes, he's prancing around Europe like Elton John and he's already crowned himself King of America. McCain is a well-respected Senator, a veteran, someone who enjoyed widespread public acclaim until the media had to turn on him once he won the primaries.

He's still within a few points, but if the campaign is at all competent, they ought to be able to win. The have the candidate voters go for in america... not some bingo organizer who ran for president after 143 days in the senate

They are nincompoops but inspite of that McCain is within a gaffe distance of catching NObama. The fact that he is so close is a reflection of McCain's ability not his campaign's DISability. NObama is running like he has the thing wrapped up and that will be his campaign's downfall.

I do think if they continue to play up McCain as everyman then they win in the end. If their strategy was to allow NObama to become Golaith while they become David then they will have done a very risky but masterful strategy in beating NObama at his own game.

markk
07-25-2008, 09:15 AM
I'm with you. McCain should hire Dick Morris and crew. They would go on the attack and put Obama on defense from now until November. It would be easy, there is so much material to work with.

Obama is really just John Kerry in more attractive packaging. They only have to help the public figure that out.

Adept Havelock
07-25-2008, 09:16 AM
McCain was scheduled to visit an oil rig in the Gulf, but bad weather caused a last minute change of plans.

It was 89 and sunny there yesterday, according to Accuweather.

This is likely why the trip was canceled:

Those evil liberals on the tug and barge crews probably caused the spill just to spoil Sen. McCain's photo-op. :cuss:

OIL SPILL SHUTS DOWN 80 MILES OF RIVER
Work begins to secure water supplies; tug crew lacked proper licenses
Thursday, July 24, 2008
By Chris Kirkham

Crews continued to work overnight Wednesday to corral a huge oil spill on the Mississippi River that now stretches more than 80 miles below New Orleans and threatens the fragile delta ecosystem. Government officials, meanwhile, are scrambling to bolster water supplies downriver from the spill and some anticipate possibly having to truck in water.

More than 400,000 gallons of thick industrial fuel oil spilled just upriver from the Crescent City Connection in the collision early Wednesday morning between a tanker and a barge being pulled by a tugboat. The oil spill, the largest on the Mississippi River in the New Orleans area in nearly a decade, halted shipping traffic on one of the nation's busiest waterways.

The Coast Guard, which is investigating the incident, has released few details, but confirmed that none of the tugboat's crew had the proper licenses to operate on the river. Neither the tug operator's name nor the name of the river pilot aboard the tanker has been released.

In addition to the Coast Guard, National Transportation Safety Board Chairman Mark V. Rosenker and a six-person team of safety investigators arrived in New Orleans late Wednesday to investigate the collision.

--- Ships barred from river ---

A wide swath of the river, stretching from Uptown New Orleans to Tiger Pass in Plaquemines Parish, is off limits and likely to remain so for days. Ships are being told not enter the mouth of the river at Southwest Pass unless they have business south of the closed area, the Coast Guard said, and dozens of ships have been stalled upriver.

"I would think in terms of days as far as opening the river, and weeks as far as cleanup," said Coast Guard Capt. Lincoln Stroh of the Port of New Orleans.

As of late Wednesday, barrels inside the barge were still leaking the thick No. 6 fuel into the river.


http://www.nola.com/news/t-p/frontpage/index.ssf?/base/news-11/1216877639216820.xml&coll=1

markk
07-25-2008, 09:20 AM
Obama is really just John Kerry in more attractive packaging. They only have to help the public figure that out.

I will add to this that there are still a lot of disaffected Clinton supporters out there who I think are obtainable for McCain, a Reagan Democrats kind of phenomenon. There's not a broad gulf of distance between the two. McCain specifically needs to reach out to them. If his VP pick was a strong female moderate enough for Clinton backers to respect, that might help.

bkkcoh
07-25-2008, 09:26 AM
Why are our candidates touring Europe on their campaign trials?
Wtf? Are they all going to vote? This is America. I can see the ME due to the military action there currently but wtf?

I guess the dead voting for the Obama isn't enough and they had to go overseas, I would if they had a get out the vote drive at the rally

markk
07-25-2008, 09:29 AM
I guess the dead voting for the Obama isn't enough and they had to go overseas, I would if they had a get out the vote drive at the rally

there are people who can vote in the election in Germany. For example... at Ramstein...

bkkcoh
07-25-2008, 09:32 AM
there are people who can vote in the election in Germany. For example... at Ramstein...

I know that, but just in case they don't think they have the votes, a few Germans couldn't hurt.... Could it?


:D

Chiefnj2
07-25-2008, 09:32 AM
It was 89 and sunny there yesterday, according to Accuweather.

This is likely why the trip was canceled:

Those evil liberals on the tug and barge crews probably caused the spill just to spoil Sen. McCain's photo-op. :cuss:

OIL SPILL SHUTS DOWN 80 MILES OF RIVER
Work begins to secure water supplies; tug crew lacked proper licenses
Thursday, July 24, 2008
By Chris Kirkham

Crews continued to work overnight Wednesday to corral a huge oil spill on the Mississippi River that now stretches more than 80 miles below New Orleans and threatens the fragile delta ecosystem. Government officials, meanwhile, are scrambling to bolster water supplies downriver from the spill and some anticipate possibly having to truck in water.

More than 400,000 gallons of thick industrial fuel oil spilled just upriver from the Crescent City Connection in the collision early Wednesday morning between a tanker and a barge being pulled by a tugboat. The oil spill, the largest on the Mississippi River in the New Orleans area in nearly a decade, halted shipping traffic on one of the nation's busiest waterways.

The Coast Guard, which is investigating the incident, has released few details, but confirmed that none of the tugboat's crew had the proper licenses to operate on the river. Neither the tug operator's name nor the name of the river pilot aboard the tanker has been released.

In addition to the Coast Guard, National Transportation Safety Board Chairman Mark V. Rosenker and a six-person team of safety investigators arrived in New Orleans late Wednesday to investigate the collision.

--- Ships barred from river ---

A wide swath of the river, stretching from Uptown New Orleans to Tiger Pass in Plaquemines Parish, is off limits and likely to remain so for days. Ships are being told not enter the mouth of the river at Southwest Pass unless they have business south of the closed area, the Coast Guard said, and dozens of ships have been stalled upriver.

"I would think in terms of days as far as opening the river, and weeks as far as cleanup," said Coast Guard Capt. Lincoln Stroh of the Port of New Orleans.

As of late Wednesday, barrels inside the barge were still leaking the thick No. 6 fuel into the river.


http://www.nola.com/news/t-p/frontpage/index.ssf?/base/news-11/1216877639216820.xml&coll=1


Standing knee deep in an oil spill while spouting "drill more" doesn't make a great photo op does it?