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View Full Version : Funny Stuff Cranky old bastard (Skip?) shoots lawn mower for not starting


Bill Parcells
07-25-2008, 09:57 PM
updated 8:20 p.m. ET, Fri., July. 25, 2008

MILWAUKEE - A Milwaukee man was accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn't start.

Keith Walendowski, 56, was charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed.

According to the criminal complaint, Walendowski said he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn't start Wednesday morning

He told police quote, "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want."

A woman who lives at Walendowski's house reported the incident. She said he was intoxicated.

Walendowski could face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.

http://msnbcmedia2.msn.com/j/ap/0eb4df0e-9571-45d8-b454-519f868ffa16.widec.jpg

link (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25854715)

Baconeater
07-25-2008, 10:07 PM
If it would've been a Craftsman mower he would've been justified.

KcMizzou
07-25-2008, 10:10 PM
He told police quote, "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want."

The man has a point. What's the problem?

Nightfyre
07-25-2008, 10:11 PM
too bad he was too stupid to realize that he was charged with possession of a short barreled shotgun and discharging it in town, not destruction of his shitty lawnmower.

Bill Parcells
07-25-2008, 10:18 PM
too bad he was too stupid to realize that he was charged with possession of a short barreled shotgun and discharging it in town, not destruction of his shitty lawnmower.

You should run for president. :clap:

Smed1065
07-25-2008, 11:19 PM
I bet it refused to fly.

dj56dt58
07-25-2008, 11:37 PM
how is this a free country if you can't even shoot your own ****ing lawn mower in your own ****ing yard?

BWillie
07-26-2008, 12:57 AM
Posted via Mobile Device

skip is the coolest mofugger on cp except myelf. very good I will go back to taking a shit and partyn

Frazod
07-26-2008, 01:43 AM
What kind of a dick shoots a lawnmower?

Man, I'd never do anything like that.

Smed1065
07-26-2008, 01:54 AM
What kind of a dick shoots a lawnmower?

Man, I'd never do anything like that.

Yeah, it had its own engine........

Crashride
07-26-2008, 05:16 AM
Hes getting charged for the GUN not the mower in his yard.

HemiEd
07-26-2008, 07:31 AM
Not Skip. He told us a long time ago, he waters his neighbors yard, not his own. This way they have to mow and he doesn't. LMAO

Warrior5
07-26-2008, 07:55 AM
Sounds like this dude had a frazod moment.

markk
07-26-2008, 07:55 AM
i doubt there are many places where you can legally discharge a firearm in the city limits, even if you are in your own yard.

no to mention it sounds like his gun was illegal.

blueballs
07-26-2008, 10:06 AM
no skip doesn't shoot his lawn mower when it wont work
because he probably rode it to hard the night before
while chained to his back porch

JuicesFlowing
07-26-2008, 10:12 AM
Dude looks just exactly as I'd imagine him.

chefsos
07-26-2008, 11:13 AM
I had a mower several years ago that, if I'd had a weapon handy, would've gotten a cap in the ass. The bitch wouldn't start and it pissed me off so I grabbed the handles, and like an Olympic hammer thrower I spun around and flung that bastard across the yard.

I stood there feeling stupid for a minute, then I walked over, turned it over onto its wheels, pulled the cord, AND IT STARTED RIGHT UP. I don't really have a point.

Skip Towne
07-26-2008, 11:20 AM
I had a mower several years ago that, if I'd had a weapon handy, would've gotten a cap in the ass. The bitch wouldn't start and it pissed me off so I grabbed the handles, and like an Olympic hammer thrower I spun around and flung that bastard across the yard.

I stood there feeling stupid for a minute, then I walked over, turned it over onto its wheels, pulled the cord, AND IT STARTED RIGHT UP. I don't really have a point.

You probably knocked some of the rust off the magneto.

Baconeater
07-26-2008, 11:51 AM
I had a mower several years ago that, if I'd had a weapon handy, would've gotten a cap in the ass. The bitch wouldn't start and it pissed me off so I grabbed the handles, and like an Olympic hammer thrower I spun around and flung that bastard across the yard.

I stood there feeling stupid for a minute, then I walked over, turned it over onto its wheels, pulled the cord, AND IT STARTED RIGHT UP. I don't really have a point.
The point is, the reason men always throw things that don't work is because 50% of the time it fixes the problem. I bet you didn't feel stupid after it started up.

Frazod
07-26-2008, 11:53 AM
That was always the Navy way. Hit it with a hammer until it started working.

alanm
07-26-2008, 12:00 PM
What kind of a dick shoots a lawnmower?

Man, I'd never do anything like that.
For one thing the kill zone on the lawnmower is smaller than a fridge. :)

Coach
07-26-2008, 02:12 PM
For one thing the kill zone on the lawnmower is smaller than a fridge. :)

Damn, beat me to it. ROFL

Bill Parcells
07-27-2008, 07:58 AM
The point is, the reason men always throw things that don't work is because 50% of the time it fixes the problem. I bet you didn't feel stupid after it started up.

About 17 years ago I had an edger that looked like this http://www.cogenesis.biz/wiford/images/em2.jpg

It wouldn't start and it was like 102 degrees out, so I started swinging it around like an olympic hammer thrower, kind of like this. http://osaka2007.iaaf.org/MultimediaFiles/Photo/Competitions/WorldChampionships/40782_W600XH400.jpg

So I twirled around twice ready to throw the ****ing thing, and then proceeded to fall right on my ass. all of the guys I was working with started laughing their asses off. it was funny.

kstater
07-27-2008, 10:12 AM
The point is, the reason men always throw things that don't work is because 50% of the time it fixes the problem. I bet you didn't feel stupid after it started up.

The other 50% you either hit it with a hammer or duct tape it.

chefsos
07-27-2008, 10:13 AM
Evidently, the mower/edger/roto tiller/bush hog throw could be an Olympic sport around here. Shooting 'em? Not so much...

Skip Towne
07-27-2008, 10:37 AM
It was on Headline News this morning. They said he could get 6 years in prison.

Bill Parcells
07-27-2008, 10:40 AM
It was on Headline News this morning. They said he could get 6 years in prison.

Did you get a good lawyer? I hear Baby Lee and Banyon are available.

Skip Towne
07-27-2008, 10:42 AM
Did you get a good lawyer? I hear Baby Lee and Banyon are available.

Banyon would send me up. He's a prosecutor.