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View Full Version : Life OK Guys..... How do you wanna go out????


SPATCH
07-30-2008, 03:54 PM
I think about this from time to time.... what's the way you want to die?

I would like to be sexed to death...

Demonpenz
07-30-2008, 03:55 PM
I want to go out fast. Someway too where I don't want to take up space in a graveyard just burn me soul go to Jesus and ashes back to earth. My worst fear is having like cancer just waiting to die. I would be scared shitless

Bowser
07-30-2008, 03:56 PM
I want to go out fast. Someway too where I don't want to take up space in a graveyard just burn me soul go to Jesus and ashes back to earth. My worst fear is having like cancer just waiting to die. I would be scared shitless

Yep, just make it quick. Cancer took my dad. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

noa
07-30-2008, 03:59 PM
I'm thinking that once my quality of life seriously starts to decline, I should just start doing a lot of risky behavior (not anything that endangers anyone else), like hardcore drugs, base jumping, disguising myself as a deer in the woods during hunting season, etc.

DJJasonp
07-30-2008, 04:04 PM
A walk from the outfield into the cornfield like James Earl Jones....

Donger
07-30-2008, 04:05 PM
Plane crash.

phisherman
07-30-2008, 04:08 PM
getting caught in the gears of a combine, now that's a man's way to go

Fish
07-30-2008, 04:09 PM
I want to go to Mars and take my helmet off to the effect of Total Recall......

Crashride
07-30-2008, 04:10 PM
Saving one (or many) I love.

DJJasonp
07-30-2008, 04:11 PM
I want to go to Mars and take my helmet off to the effect of Total Recall......

And then...when the oxygen flows...your face turns back to normal.

Sorry to go off on a tangent....but that part of the movie nearly ruins the whole film for me. :banghead:

SPATCH
07-30-2008, 04:11 PM
Saving one (or many) I love.

that shit's deep dude

Frazod
07-30-2008, 04:13 PM
Butch & Sundance. :bang:

Hopefully I'll take a couple of them with me.

thurman merman
07-30-2008, 04:15 PM
i would like to die of a heart attack after watching the chiefs win the super bowl

seclark
07-30-2008, 04:17 PM
suffocated between two large titahs
sec

Redrum_69
07-30-2008, 04:18 PM
suffocated between two large titahs
sec



lets keep your mom out of this

blueballs
07-30-2008, 04:18 PM
rapture

Redrum_69
07-30-2008, 04:22 PM
I think about this from time to time.... what's the way you want to die?



in a fireworks display at a chiefsplanet bash....

Warrior5
07-30-2008, 04:31 PM
getting caught in the gears of a combine, now that's a man's way to go
.
"having your nuts bit off by a laplander; that's the way I wanna go."

Hog Farmer
07-30-2008, 04:38 PM
I'm going to Iraq to be a suicide bomber. Pay backs a bitch !

StcChief
07-30-2008, 04:42 PM
I'm going to Iraq to be a suicide bomber. Pay backs a bitch !dropping hog blood.

blueballs
07-30-2008, 04:46 PM
I'm going to Iraq to be a suicide bomber. Pay backs a bitch !

since you deal in swine
the virgins you receive
will look like you

DaKCMan AP
07-30-2008, 05:13 PM
I'm going to live forever.

Fishpicker
07-30-2008, 05:16 PM
zombie apocalypse

I've played enough resident evil to know that I could make a decent run if a zombocalypse ever happened.

Fairplay
07-30-2008, 05:23 PM
Plane crash.



Yeah, even better trying to go out like those passengers of United Airlines Flight 93.

Or trying to save some drowning kids like Delaney. I'd like to think i go out trying to do something good.

Or running into a burning building trying to rescue some poor soul who is in there.

In short.......
I'd like to know i was going to probably die but with an adrenaline rush over taking any time for my thoughts to actual reason out WTF i am doing.

POND_OF_RED
07-30-2008, 05:28 PM
Acid overdose while flying thousands of feet above Tokyo.

Spicy McHaggis
07-30-2008, 05:30 PM
A boating accident that has nothing to do with water or boating.

Like I'm walking underneath a suspended bass boat at a sports show and the cables snap, boat falls killing me instantly.

J Diddy
07-30-2008, 05:45 PM
i would like to die of a heart attack after watching the chiefs win the super bowl

whilest getting a blow job from a super model

SCTrojan
07-30-2008, 05:57 PM
I would like to be sexed to death...

Sounds like the old Richard Pryor bit about his dad:

"If I have to go, which I imagine I do, I want to go like my dad. He died f**king. He came and went at the same time. Didn't noboby cry at his funeral. They all just shook their head and said, 'That lucky mofo.'

JuicesFlowing
07-30-2008, 06:02 PM
I'd like to go in my sleep. But if I do have to die a horrid death, I pray to God it's not by drowning.

Count Alex's Losses
07-30-2008, 06:06 PM
I'd like to drown and burn at the same time while the Chiefs lose the Super Bowl on a missed field goal. The ultimate masochists death.

"Bob" Dobbs
07-30-2008, 06:09 PM
I want to be shot by a jealous husband when I'm 97. I figure if that happens, I must be doing OK.

SPATCH
07-30-2008, 06:34 PM
A boating accident that has nothing to do with water or boating.

Like I'm walking underneath a suspended bass boat at a sports show and the cables snap, boat falls killing me instantly.

or a sky diving accident where you died because you landed next to an angry bear

Spicy McHaggis
07-30-2008, 06:43 PM
Actually, I change mine. I'm going to call Chuck Norris a pussy.

88TG88
07-30-2008, 06:47 PM
hail of gunfire

the LA way to die

FAX
07-30-2008, 06:52 PM
Peach Pie, Mr. the_spatula. If my time comes and the moment at last arrives when I must bid a final farewell to this Vale of Tears and it falls to my hands to release the bow line from Charon's ferry, I would like to find a way to Peach Pie myself to death.

FAX

WARPARTY70
07-30-2008, 06:59 PM
To be eaten by a shark !!!!!

Adept Havelock
07-30-2008, 07:26 PM
1) Quietly, of old age, in my sleep.

2) If I must be aware, surrounded by loved ones, again, quietly and easily.

3) Failing that, at 108 when the boyfriend of the 19 year old golddigger I'm in the sack with breaks down the door, sending me into cardiac arrest and rendering me immediately unconscious and then deceased.

SPATCH
07-30-2008, 07:31 PM
1) Quietly, of old age, in my sleep.

2) If I must be aware, surrounded by loved ones, again, quietly and easily.

3) Failing that, at 108 when the boyfriend of the 19 year old golddigger I'm in the sack with breaks down the door, sending me into cardiac arrest and rendering me immediately unconscious and then deceased.

dying of old age is ghey

Adept Havelock
07-30-2008, 07:40 PM
dying of old age is ghey

You go out your way, I'll go out mine (hopefully).

FAX
07-30-2008, 07:50 PM
Golddigger shock. I like it.

I think I would like it okay if I were sharing a post-coital meal of Peach Pie with three young, blonde, nubile, nude golddiggers when suddenly, out of nowhere, a fourth young, blonde, nubile, nude golddigger enters the room stopping my poor heart.

FAX

SPATCH
07-30-2008, 08:20 PM
here's a pretty sweet scenario:

i get framed for murder. there's a huge man-hunt, all over the news. i'm running from the police while trying prove my innocence (ala the fugitive).

a task force breaks into an abandoned warehouse that i have been hiding out in for weeks. they've been ordered to bring me in dead or alive. i can only make it to the roof before being brought down by helicopter fire.

upon a search of my body, they find a note that contains the name and location of the man i believe to be the actual killer.

two days later police invade the home of the man... and what do they find underneath the floorboards of his bedroom?? that's right. the bloody ax used in the brutal murder, exonerating me completely postmortem.

The Pedestrian
07-30-2008, 11:10 PM
Ascension, because it would be interesting to see how that would turn out...somehow reaching heaven alive, getting frozen at 30000 feet in the air, getting fried at 50000 feet in the air, or getting hit by an aircraft/missile...either way, I think I could have one of the world's most distributed pictures as a UFO.

DaneMcCloud
07-30-2008, 11:31 PM
Whew, heavy question.

The wife and I were at the attorney's today setting up the trust for our daughter.

No fun.

Whatsoever.

chiefs1111
07-30-2008, 11:43 PM
After the chiefs win the Super Bowl,I could die happy. The way things are going though,that's not gonna be for a long time.....

KCUnited
07-30-2008, 11:44 PM
Kevorkian style. My terms, my decision.

PhillyChiefFan
07-31-2008, 06:43 AM
i would like to die of a heart attack after watching the chiefs win the super bowl

You'll live forever! ;)

angelo
07-31-2008, 07:47 AM
My death was planned before my birth.
It will not be pretty.

Ang

DaKCMan AP
07-31-2008, 07:56 AM
haha.. you mere mortals

InChiefsHell
07-31-2008, 08:17 AM
I almost drowned once when I was 15 in a river going over rapids...it actually wasn't so bad. I remember thinking..."hey, this doesn't even hurt" before the river threw me up to the surface and I came to my senses and the water came out of my lungs...then it sucked. But the actual moment of drowning...was less sucky than I thought.

...having said that, I don't WANT to go that way, but since I was almost there once, I can think of worse ways to go.

...I'd like to go down after breaking into the super secret meeting of Al-quaida in the desert and shooting Bin Laden right between the eyes...hail of bullets as I spray the tent and they get me...

Rausch
07-31-2008, 08:29 AM
Fully awake and with as little pain as possible.

Other than that, surprise me!

Detoxing
07-31-2008, 11:32 AM
I'd like to go out in hot pursuit while I drive some exotic sports car with like 20 cops chasing me. Then jump the car off a bridge while several cop cars explode right behind me as i flip them the bird while plummiting (SP) to my death. My death would be a Youtube sensation.

Count Alex's Losses
07-31-2008, 12:03 PM
You forgot the BJ, Jesus.

Pablo
07-31-2008, 12:23 PM
I want to 130 mph on my crotch rocket, ramp off the back of one of those semis with the sweet ramps and smash my bike through the front glass of an oncoming semi carrying some sort of explosive chemical.

He jack-knifes and explodes into a ball of flames. I walk out of the massive ball of flames completely unscathed, only to be drilled by a Vespa doing 35 mph around the wreckage, then I lay in a coma for a week and die a vegetable.

barry_smilez20
07-31-2008, 12:33 PM
I want to blow up a party bus...and die of laughter

Iowanian
07-31-2008, 12:45 PM
The most often recommended ways on the planet are "in a fire" or "of ass cancer" and the timeless "anti-freeze overdose"

blueballs
07-31-2008, 12:48 PM
My death was planned before my birth.
It will not be pretty.

Ang

I'll go out in an automobile accident
somethings you just know

FAX
07-31-2008, 02:02 PM
The most often recommended ways on the planet are "in a fire" or "of ass cancer" and the timeless "anti-freeze overdose"

Hmmm. Can one contract ass cancer from drilling gobs of golddiggers, Mr. Iowanian?

FAX

Iowanian
07-31-2008, 03:12 PM
Fax will hear my story of how
gold diggers can make you sick.
I doubt you'll get ass cancer
from porking them,
but gangreen of your d.....

FAX
07-31-2008, 03:18 PM
Mr. Iowanian's wise
He knows about home wreckers
And how they leave you a surprise
Upon your painful pecker

FAX

JuicesFlowing
07-31-2008, 03:24 PM
I change my mind. I don't want to die in my sleep. I'd rather drink myself to death.

FAX
07-31-2008, 04:21 PM
Sit back, Oh Planeteers and hear
A tale so sad and bitter
Of Mr. Iowanian's year
And of his baby sitter's

The plan had a chance for success
But then, it all got botched
When one day Mister I. got dressed
Up up like a brown Sasquatch

Into the woods that day he went
To howl and frighten neighbors
But then (to Mister I's lament)
Two kids in a LaSabre

Encountered him near the dark woods
"What is that?" One kid screamed.
"It looks like bigfoot!" Then they stood
As if in a bad dream.

"Watch this.", one said, checking around,
"See how my daddy raised me."
Then Mister I. fell to the ground
"My God!", He said, "You've tazed me!"

And roll upon the earth he did
In pain and searing anguish
The kids were laughing, God forbid
As Mister I. did languish

"Leave me alone!", Mister I. calls,
"What the hell'r you doing?
As soon as I can feel my balls
You bet your ass I'm suing!"

Then out of the bleak forest came
Her face ashen and bitter
A young girl .. oh .. what is her name?
You know, the baby sitter.

She came on quick, she came on fast
With 20 guages firing.
She hit one kid with a huge blast
And while he was expiring

She clubbed the other with the butt
Of her 9 millimeter
Then just for luck she kicked his gut
And stabbed him in the peter

"Oh, thank God!", Mister I. said,
"You got here just in time.
But I'd have taken care of them
When I was in my prime."

"Let's take you home", the sitter said,
"And get you some hot soup.
It's over now, the kids are dead
And it smells like you have pooped."

FAX

SPATCH
07-31-2008, 06:11 PM
I want to blow up a party bus...and die of laughter

your hatred is deep indeed

InChiefsHell
07-31-2008, 06:37 PM
Sit back, Oh Planeteers and hear
A tale so sad and bitter
Of Mr. Iowanian's year
And of his baby sitter's....

etc etc etc...
FAX

Mr FAX,

I don't know if you are a genious (CP spelling) or a person with waaaay too much time on your hands...

...but you are damned entertaining laddy!:clap:

KCChiefsMan
07-31-2008, 06:54 PM
In the 2012 Apocolyspe

HOLY SHITE! that's in 4 years!!

FAX
07-31-2008, 06:57 PM
Mr FAX,

I don't know if you are a genious (CP spelling) or a person with waaaay too much time on your hands...

...but you are damned entertaining laddy!:clap:

Thanks, Mr. InChiefsHell. I appreciate the compliment. However, I'm certainly no genius and, actually, this particular poemism didn't take very long. The angry babysitter/sasquatch outfit/murder muse was on the case in this situation.

Frankly, my main concern at this point is Mr. Iowanian's reaction to this one. I pray he recognizes that it's only poemation.

FAX

FAX
07-31-2008, 07:51 PM
Some other ideas for ending it all ...

1. The Horny Tarzan. Buy some rope, remove your clothing, and swing yourself into a room full of sex-starved lions.

2. The Roast Beef. Stuff yourself into a hot grill along with some onions and carrots. Turn once.

3. The Box Turtle. Cut holes in a large dishwasher carton, put it on and crawl across I-35.

4. The Commissioner. Watch a 10 hour loop of Herm Edwards press conferences. Wait for your head to explode.

5. The Reverse ExLax. Jam quick-set concrete up your ass and eat Mexican.

6. The TV Guide. Run headlong into your television during a reality show. Repeat as necessary. Be sure and tape it.

7. The Taco John. Bribe his wife to send you a photo of his genitals. Use a microscope to view. Laugh yourself to death.

8. The Hog Farmer. Squirt boar semen into both eyes and blindly drive as fast as you can into town.

9. The Cow's Lunch. Bale yourself and serve.

10. The Burger King. Ask for your money back.

11. The Mama Mia. Buy a ticket and bore yourself to death.

FAX

Bwana
07-31-2008, 07:54 PM
Going hand to paw with a large grizzy bear armed with a large knife and then getting hit by a bolt of lightning while in full combat.

Sure, why the hell not?

FAX
07-31-2008, 08:01 PM
12. The Fiery Blastoff. Tape a lightning rod to your head and 764 bottle rockets to your ass. Stand in street during Blue Northerner.

FAX

Iowanian
07-31-2008, 09:11 PM
The preacher stands before us
amongst his weeping flock now congregated
Dearly departed before his time
Fax's life was terminated.

He bellowed to all to listen with haste
as his sermon of fire and brimstone began
He consoled the lovely widow ms fax
of this poetic but sinful, man.

Fax you see has passed to early
not as expected of constipation
It wasn't exactly suicide...
but unfortunate aim with masterbation.

The tubesock he chose that fateful day
for which we now all cry
It had an undarned hole in it
he shot through it, and into his eye.

The force of Bill Braskey's balls,
left an exit wound easy to see
No more of his pirate "aaaaaaarrrrg" calls
A victim of his own seed.

He'd read the warning labels
but obviously failed to listen...
He couldn't avoid sinful vice
as jergens lotiony glisten.

In a reinactment of his 50th birthday
I wish he had recalled that....
You see the last time ole fax had kidney stones
he jerked off and killed his cat.


Rip Friend.

excessive
07-31-2008, 11:08 PM
Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

--Robert Frost

Iowanian
08-01-2008, 04:04 PM
gochiefs love toy
bobba fet
has fax read
his epitaph yet?