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sedated
08-06-2008, 12:45 PM
How did you lose your virginity?

Bang your 8th grade teacher? Hire a hooker? Drug the prom queen?

Inquiring minds want to know. Give gochiefs something to look forward to.

DaKCMan AP
08-06-2008, 12:46 PM
Ask your mother.

Pestilence
08-06-2008, 12:49 PM
With a chick who I would probably rate a 4. I was 18 at the time and just wanted it over with....so I settled.

Buehler445
08-06-2008, 12:51 PM
Ask your mother.

I'm glad you got in first with this response.

Posted via Mobile Device

booyaf2
08-06-2008, 12:51 PM
With a chick who I would probably rate a 1 or 2, although to this day one of the nicest women i know. I was 16 or 17 and just had to see what all the fuss was about.

DaFace
08-06-2008, 12:52 PM
We appear to be a very sexually repressed bunch lately.

SCTrojan
08-06-2008, 12:55 PM
Drive in movie. Back of a VW Bug.

Mr. Plow
08-06-2008, 12:59 PM
After a high school bball game.....in my truck.....down at the park.

blueballs
08-06-2008, 01:02 PM
I shot a load on the way out of the womb
and my tongue hung out and got rug burnt

BucEyedPea
08-06-2008, 01:08 PM
It was aweful. Just aweful. Couldn't understand what all the excitement was about. :shake::(

tooge
08-06-2008, 01:11 PM
In my basement on the weight bench in 9th grade. I was 15, so was she. Red hairded gal with nice bod (most are at 15). Very awkward. She had to say "I think you are supposed to move around a little". So, Gochiefs, if you are ever "there", makes sure to move around a little so as not to cause you 26 years of wondering if the girl ( or guy in your case perhaps) thinks you were a bad lover.

SPATCH
08-06-2008, 01:26 PM
this sounds like it's straight from a movie but...

sophomore year of high school, i had sex with a norwegian foreign exchange student, who was a junior, in the back of my mom's mini-van

Hog Farmer
08-06-2008, 01:26 PM
It was aweful. Just aweful. Couldn't understand what all the excitement was about. :shake::(


Thanks. Thanks a lot!

sedated
08-06-2008, 01:27 PM
gal with nice bod (most are at 15)

so very true.

RustShack
08-06-2008, 01:31 PM
Jewish Rabbies sister in his bed when I was 14.

Demonpenz
08-06-2008, 01:31 PM
I remember it like it was yesterday. The year was 2008 august 5th or so

Dunit35
08-06-2008, 01:33 PM
16 years old, she was 15. We were together for about eight months at that time, so it wasn't a random.

I asked if she wanted to have sex and she asked me if I had a rubber. I was just kidding when I asked her. My mouth dropped and two minutes later I was asking her if she wanted to do it again.

booyaf2
08-06-2008, 01:36 PM
With a chick who I would probably rate a 1 or 2, although to this day one of the nicest women i know. I was 16 or 17 and just had to see what all the fuss was about.

I'd also like to add that I did NOT own a motorcycle at the time. Which explains the reason she was a 1 or a 2.

Carry on.

siberian khatru
08-06-2008, 01:37 PM
Duct tape, ball gag, rope, chocolate syrup ... you know, the usual.

knowmo3
08-06-2008, 01:39 PM
17 with a good lookin girl with big tits.... Ugly veiny tits though:Lin:

Stewie
08-06-2008, 01:39 PM
17. She was a coworker at my summer job and had a smokin' body. Face? Ah, not so much, but she was feisty to say the least.

SPATCH
08-06-2008, 01:41 PM
oh, and this thread is total midnight_rapist bait... things could get interesting when he shows up

kepp
08-06-2008, 01:41 PM
I think "quick" would be the best description.

kepp
08-06-2008, 01:43 PM
oh, and this thread is total midnight_rapist bait... things could get interesting when he shows up

I bet he started taxing neighborhood babes at six-and-a-half.

Donger
08-06-2008, 01:44 PM
14 with a 16 year old goddess in my bedroom with Duran Duran playing in the background.

I was... not very good.

Buehler445
08-06-2008, 01:44 PM
oh, and this thread is total midnight_rapist bait... things could get interesting when he shows up

Oh come on! We all know noontime_parakeet is such a P-I-M-P that he never even had a first time. He came out of the womb phat pimpin'!


Posted via Mobile Device

"Bob" Dobbs
08-06-2008, 01:47 PM
I was 18. She wasn't bad (a 5 or 6 or so), but she gave me the clap. I remember thinking that sex wasn't worth it. LOL

SPATCH
08-06-2008, 01:51 PM
i'm just a n00b... but claythan isn't actually a virgin, is he?

Gonzo
08-06-2008, 01:54 PM
i'm just a n00b... but claythan isn't actually a virgin, is he?

He can't decide wether or not skull f**ing a road-killed deer counts. Once he does, you will have your answer.

Gonzo
08-06-2008, 01:55 PM
Jewish Rabbies sister in his bed when I was 14.

I heard Jewish Rabbies are the worst. A lot worse than regular rabbies. (More shots I presume) ROFL

88TG88
08-06-2008, 01:58 PM
I was 18. She wasn't bad (a 5 or 6 or so), but she gave me the clap. I remember thinking that sex wasn't worth it. LOL

ROFLROFL

rambleonthruthefog
08-06-2008, 02:05 PM
it was me, my penis, one lucky vagina, and 5 seconds of heaven. well at least purgatory.

Phobia
08-06-2008, 02:09 PM
I was probably 15 - red-headed cousin of my best friend who was 18 or 19. She had some experience, heh. She had a rockin body and a face that wasn't as good but she was at the upper end of the red-head echelon. It was pretty awesome. She wore me out many, many times. Then my best friend's mother came in the next morning cussing, saying, I KNEW IT. I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN. Heh. That was the beginning of a long, sexcessful career for me. Sadly, I don't even remember her name.

sedated
08-06-2008, 02:11 PM
my best friend's mother came in the next morning cussing, saying, I KNEW IT. I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN.

even your best friend's mom knew she was a slut.

Beerfund
08-06-2008, 02:12 PM
How did you lose your virginity?

Bang your 8th grade teacher? Hire a hooker? Drug the prom queen?

Inquiring minds want to know. Give gochiefs something to look forward to.

I know for a fact Sedated roofied some bitch

Phobia
08-06-2008, 02:13 PM
even your best friend's mom knew she was a slut.

Heh. I should give her credit for allowing it then, no?

Donger
08-06-2008, 02:15 PM
Did anyone else have the frequent misfortune of being caught in the act by the female's parents when they were young? It happened to me dozens of times, although mostly with the same girl. I think she had some kind of "I want my parents to catch me doing it!" kick, though.

I didn't care at the time, but now it is kind of icky to ponder.

Beerfund
08-06-2008, 02:19 PM
Did anyone else have the frequent misfortune of being caught in the act by the female's parents when they were young? It happened to me dozens of times, although mostly with the same girl. I think she had some kind of "I want my parents to catch me doing it!" kick, though.

I didn't care at the time, but now it is kind of icky to ponder.

Only time i ever got caught was when we were in the car and the police showed up.

seclark
08-06-2008, 02:22 PM
well...i think i've told this story before, but:
i was 18. she was 17. we'd gone together for 3years. always talked about it and had decided to wait til she graduated high school.

the deed was done on the 4th of july. we found out she was pregnant on the 2nd of august. were married on the 13th of september. had twin sons on the 5th of february(two months premature).

sec

Donger
08-06-2008, 02:24 PM
Only time i ever got caught was when we were in teh car and th police showed up.

Yes. That is unpleasant. My girlfriend in high school got hammered at a football game one night and said that she wanted to blow me. We went to her car and got in the back seat, and she proceeded to get to work. A few minutes later, there was a tap on the window. A cop was standing there shining his light on her. I tried to stop her but she kept going until the end.

Redrum_69
08-06-2008, 02:24 PM
I know for a fact Sedated roofied some bitch



grape gatorade wasnt available?

siberian khatru
08-06-2008, 02:24 PM
Did anyone else have the frequent misfortune of being caught in the act by the female's parents when they were young?

Once, only it was MY parents.

Donger
08-06-2008, 02:26 PM
Once, only it was MY parents.

:eek:

My mother used to come downstairs with loads of laundry: "Donger! I'm coming down!!"

Gee, thanks Mum.

Phobia
08-06-2008, 02:34 PM
Did anyone else have the frequent misfortune of being caught in the act by the female's parents when they were young? It happened to me dozens of times, although mostly with the same girl. I think she had some kind of "I want my parents to catch me doing it!" kick, though.

I didn't care at the time, but now it is kind of icky to ponder.

Never their parents but I got caught with one girl quite a bit. I believe she liked it. Her aunt caught me once, the police caught us once, and she was quite bold about getting naked at her parents house when they were home. They never walked in or anything but they had to have known. Right?

tooge
08-06-2008, 02:42 PM
I got caught alot with a gal I dated for 4 years prior to my wife. She was 19 and I was 21. Once at her house she was babysitting and while the baby was asleep she was riding me on the couch. In comes the baby's mom and I have my shorts around my ankles and she is sitting on me with her skirt up. Mom simply says "gotcha. You better go home". Never another word. I feel bad for laying the pipe in front of a sleeping baby, but I had very few scrupples at that point in life. Also got caught by cops with the same gal in the car. They just wanted to see ID and make sure she wanted to be there.

sedated
08-06-2008, 02:51 PM
I know for a fact Sedated roofied some bitch

that wasn't just "some bitch". It was the first time for us both, and we will remember it forever. I will anyway.

Pennywise
08-06-2008, 02:51 PM
well...i think i've told this story before, but:
i was 18. she was 17. we'd gone together for 3years. always talked about it and had decided to wait til she graduated high school.

the deed was done on the 4th of july. we found out she was pregnant on the 2nd of august. were married on the 13th of september. had twin sons on the 5th of february(two months premature).

sec


You should have waited 2 more days for the shotgun wedding.

Demonpenz
08-06-2008, 02:52 PM
You should have waited 2 more days for the shotgun wedding.

to the temple or in the mouth

Chief Henry
08-06-2008, 02:53 PM
18, parking lot of the bar called the "American Tap" in Ft. Dodge , Iowa. She was blonde that was about a 7. Average body but did she get very very wet.

Pennywise
08-06-2008, 02:53 PM
to the temple or in the mouth


No, for the 15th.

Chief Henry
08-06-2008, 02:54 PM
Where are the gay threads and stories ?

seclark
08-06-2008, 02:55 PM
You should have waited 2 more days for the shotgun wedding.

at least i didn't get the clapp. so i had that going for me.
sec

Beerfund
08-06-2008, 02:55 PM
that wasn't just 'some bitch'

not like the chick at the bar.

Redrum_69
08-06-2008, 02:57 PM
Where are the gay threads and stories ?



midnight douchebag hasnt posted yet

seclark
08-06-2008, 02:57 PM
Where are the gay threads and stories ?

???wtf, henry?
sec

Redrum_69
08-06-2008, 02:58 PM
Chicks dig virgins with motorcycles

Fish
08-06-2008, 03:01 PM
Vacation bible school..... the priest was gentle.....

Redrum_69
08-06-2008, 03:03 PM
18, parking lot of the bar called the "American Tap" in Ft. Dodge , Iowa. She was blonde that was about a 7. Average body but did she get very very wet.


Katie Horner is calling for Flash Floods all over Southest Kansas

WERE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

blueballs
08-06-2008, 03:22 PM
Where are the gay threads and stories ?

Your dad was brave and didn't cry at all
until his wife shooed them off the porch with a broom

"Bob" Dobbs
08-06-2008, 03:30 PM
Once, only it was MY parents.Yeah. Me too. It was pretty funny, though; my GF & I put it on tape... an early VHS camera. 3 years later, my mom calls me, LAUGHING HER ASS OFF, saying, "Guess what videotape I just found"? Ugh.

Redrum_69
08-06-2008, 03:32 PM
blueballs to sex
is what barack obama is to democrats
a train derailment waiting for a crowd to watch

Midnight_Vulture
08-06-2008, 03:36 PM
Lost it when I was 16. To a girl that was freakin obsessed with me. Ended up dating her for awhile too because she did whatever I wanted and was okay with it haha

Too bad Claythan wont be responding to this thread hahahaha.

blueballs
08-06-2008, 03:37 PM
your mother is like bo
liberal
popular
and for sale

JohnnyV13
08-06-2008, 03:39 PM
My first time occurred during a family picnic. I got hammered and had to go to the port a potty. My mom starts knocking on the door outside and said, "Jerry, are you ok?"

When I didn't answer, she opened the door, saw my pants down and said, "Hey, big boy, do you need any help?"

Anyway, one thing led to another and I got to know my mom in a way I never imagined. Jesus forgave me, though.

Jewish Rabbi
08-06-2008, 03:40 PM
Jewish Rabbies sister in his bed when I was 14.

You bastard!

El Jefe
08-06-2008, 03:41 PM
My first time occurred during a family picnic. I got hammared and had to go to the port a potty. My mom starts knocking on the door outside and said, "Jerry, are you ok?"

When I didn't answer, she opened the door, saw my pants down and said, "Hey, big boy, do you need any help?"

Anyway, one thing led to another and I got to know my mom in a way I never imagined. Jesus forgave me, though.

WTF :Lin:

dirk digler
08-06-2008, 03:43 PM
I was 16 and I did it in the bed of a Chevy s-10 truck with a porker co-worker. It didn't last long after I found the hole.

Jewish Rabbi
08-06-2008, 03:47 PM
Lost it when I was 16. To a guy that I was freakin obsessed with. Ended up dating him for awhile too because I did whatever he wanted and was okay with it haha. I've never sucked such a nice, big dick.

Too bad Claythan wont be responding to this thread hahahaha.

Fixed it for ya :thumb:

Pestilence
08-06-2008, 03:48 PM
My first time occurred during a family picnic. I got hammared and had to go to the port a potty. My mom starts knocking on the door outside and said, "Jerry, are you ok?"

When I didn't answer, she opened the door, saw my pants down and said, "Hey, big boy, do you need any help?"

Anyway, one thing led to another and I got to know my mom in a way I never imagined. Jesus forgave me, though.

ROFL:shake:

blueballs
08-06-2008, 03:53 PM
tags could have made this thread great

JohnnyV13
08-06-2008, 04:29 PM
WTF :Lin:

Its a joke. Jerry Falwell famously sued Larry Flynt (founder of Hustler) for publishing a liquor ad about "Jerry Falwell's first time" which included him getting drunk, and doing it in an outhouse with his mother.

The libel case went to the supreme court, and found in Flynt's favor. (U night have seen the movie, People vs. Larry Flynt).

LocoChiefsFan
08-06-2008, 04:43 PM
Does it count as your first if you were drunk as f**k and can't hardly remember it much? I was 17. I was at a party, got wasted, and decided to wonder downtown to the arcade. Seeing the shape I was in she decided to take advantage of me. I'd rate her as a 8 1/2. She is still pretty hot to this day. I can remember her telling me I had to pull out because I didn't have a rubber. Seemed like it lasted a few minutes, but she said she didn't think I was ever going to cum. I dunno, I count the 2nd time I had sex as my 1st. I was sober and it was with my future ex wife.

QuikSsurfer
08-06-2008, 04:48 PM
My first time occurred during a family picnic. I got hammered and had to go to the port a potty. My mom starts knocking on the door outside and said, "Jerry, are you ok?"

When I didn't answer, she opened the door, saw my pants down and said, "Hey, big boy, do you need any help?"

Anyway, one thing led to another and I got to know my mom in a way I never imagined. Jesus forgave me, though.

Holy shit

QuikSsurfer
08-06-2008, 04:57 PM
We were both 14 and had been dating for 6 months... We had done everything else and figured we might as well give it a shot.
It was amazing and it lasted about 5 seconds. That was the first time that I had ever ejaculated... I had sex before I ever masturbated. Strange?

We were the first couple in our grade to have sex -- I was a pimp to the boys and she was labeled a slut by the girls... Isn't high school great? :rollseyes:

To this day, we are great friends.

Nzoner
08-06-2008, 10:24 PM
I was 18. She wasn't bad (a 5 or 6 or so), but she gave me the clap. I remember thinking that sex wasn't worth it. LOL

Holy shit almost my story to a tee only she was a 7 and I was 16 and it was all good until I had to go to the clinic and stick a focking long metal swab into the head of my d!ck and then she was a #$%@#$% bitch

Nzoner
08-06-2008, 10:27 PM
Only time i ever got caught was when we were in the car and the police showed up.

Heh,happened to me once too,we were in 69,faces buried in each other's crotches and kept hearing this tap tap tap and thinking wtf,imagine my surprise when I saw the beam from the flashlight.

CosmicPal
08-06-2008, 10:34 PM
Just like LocoChiefsfan, mine may have been when I was so inebriated at a party I have no recollection of it.

I only know I did because half of my school hammered me about it for the next couple of weeks.

Oddly enough, the first time I do recall was in a caboose- a real train caboose that was turned into a little recreational bar by this girl's dad. He had it sitting in the backyard. It was pretty cool. She took me out there during her party and well, one thing led to another.

My second experience occurred on a boat during Spring Break my senior year.

I didn't actually have sex in an actual bed until I was in college. Well, except for the first night that everyone in high school seems to know about but me.

"Bob" Dobbs
08-06-2008, 11:00 PM
Holy shit almost my story to a tee only she was a 7 and I was 16 and it was all good until I had to go to the clinic and stick a focking long metal swab into the head of my d!ck and then she was a #$%@#$% bitchOh yeah. NOW I remember the Q-tip of Steel. Thanks for reminding me. :cuss:

KcMizzou
08-06-2008, 11:10 PM
It was in the back of my GF's '86 Mustang hatchback. Behind a tobacco barn.

Accompanied by the smooth sounds of Motley Crue, and helped by some pretty warm beer.

I was 16... she was 17.

It was magic... magic, I tell ya.

DaneMcCloud
08-07-2008, 02:16 AM
It was aweful. Just aweful. Couldn't understand what all the excitement was about. :shake::(

I hope you understand now...


If not, you're doing it wrong. :D

DaneMcCloud
08-07-2008, 02:16 AM
Where are the gay threads and stories ?

Looking for a pick-me-up or are you just horny?

BigRock
08-07-2008, 02:37 AM
I had been going to the same summer camp for 3 years. I'd always heard the rumors... the camp director's wife, this busty blonde goddess, had a reputation for sleeping with virile young campers because her husband didn't pay attention to her anymore.

Of course, it just seemed like a made-up campfire story. Everyone knew someone who knew someone who's friend had boffed her. Anyway, long story short, I learned first-hand that the rumor was true.

Well, at least half of it. I never found out if she slept with the campers, but her husband definitely didn't pay attention to her anymore. He certainly paid attention to me, though, promising all the ice cream and canoe rides I wanted, just as long as I never said anything to my parents.

SUMMER FLING
DON'T ME A THING
BUT OH OH
THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS

WELL-UH WELL-UH WELL-UH

Count Zarth
08-09-2008, 01:28 AM
Did anyone else have the frequent misfortune of being caught in the act by the female's parents when they were young? It happened to me dozens of times, although mostly with the same girl. I think she had some kind of "I want my parents to catch me doing it!" kick, though.
.

That's hot.

Discuss Thrower
08-09-2008, 01:34 AM
End of October. 2007. Girl with issues pursues my ass. I give in... First time was... Unsatisfactory due to... Technical issues. Second time, in the morning, I was a fool and well, you know the limerick. The third time I almost was late to fraternity stuff. Since then, nine months of absolute chastity... And I'm going to Mexico in a week.

luv
08-09-2008, 01:36 AM
In the front seat of a mitsubishu something-or-other. I was drunk off my ass. I remember consenting, but I don't remember his name. I was 27.

Count Zarth
08-09-2008, 01:38 AM
I'll tell all of you for sure. Every nitty, gritty detail.

J Diddy
08-09-2008, 06:54 AM
In the front seat of a mitsubishu something-or-other. I was drunk off my ass. I remember consenting, but I don't remember his name. I was 27.

27, wow

you held on that somabitch like a family heirloom.

Chiefs_Mike_Topeka
08-09-2008, 07:48 AM
13; with my older sister's best friend. She was 16; I was sitting on the living room couch on a Sat. morning watching Bugs Bunny; eating a bowl of cereal. I was the only one home, she came over to hang out with my sister, sat down beside me asked if I ever had sex, asked if I wanted to, the rest is history. The horrible part of it is that it took just over 2 years before I had sex again.

Fairplay
08-09-2008, 07:49 AM
I'll tell all of you for sure. Every nitty, gritty detail.



All 30 seconds of it.

gblowfish
08-09-2008, 09:13 AM
It was a looong time ago.
I was a senior in high school. Parents out of town. Had a casual go out with some other kids in a big group thing to a movie with a girl who was my first crush in grade school. She was really pretty. We just kind of "bonded" so to speak, later, literally bonded.

I thought she was kinda out of my league. But things took a turn for the very excellent, we ended up back at my house because my parents were gone and my sister was out all night with her boyfriend. Didn't make it out of the living room. For me it was very awkward, then later, fear of pregnancy for about a month. That didn't happen (whew!) We hooked up later that summer, tore it up till I had to go off to college.

She was the one who spent the night with me on a blanket on the 50-yard line of the HS Football field. Last I heard she was married, with three kids in Texas somewhere.

Now she's a smile on my face my wife doesn't understand.

blueballs
08-09-2008, 09:43 AM
those older women do a lot of deflowering

Ebolapox
08-09-2008, 09:43 AM
18, parking lot of the bar called the "American Tap" in Ft. Dodge , Iowa. She was blonde that was 7. Average body but did she get very very wet.

years old?

:spock:

you sick **** :)

KcMizzou
08-09-2008, 09:46 AM
Now she's a smile on my face my wife doesn't understand.Heheh... Every guy needs a couple of those.

luv
08-09-2008, 12:22 PM
27, wow

you held on that somabitch like a family heirloom.

What can I say? I was very insecure. Hence the need for lots of alcohol.

damaticous
08-09-2008, 01:46 PM
I was 16 she was 15. At a mutual friends Halloween party. in between a bunch of bales of hay. Lasted about 5 minutes, just got in and she said to stop cause it hurt...little did I know that that would be the only time in my life that I felt I had a big penis.

J Diddy
08-09-2008, 01:49 PM
What can I say? I was very insecure. Hence the need for lots of alcohol.

a woman needs not security but alas just a mere vagina to engage in sex

especially the teen years

J Diddy
08-09-2008, 01:50 PM
I was 16 she was 15. At a mutual friends Halloween party. in between a bunch of bales of hay. Lasted about 5 minutes, just got in and she said to stop cause it hurt...little did I know that that would be the only time in my life that I felt I had a big penis.


lol

could be worse
could have gotten it stuck in a tylenol bottle

Rain Man
08-09-2008, 02:39 PM
I was 16 years old, and a Chinese restaurant opened up in town. I was intrigued, but it took me a while to work up the courage to go in, since my parents were meat and potatoes people. But one day I went in, and it was a classic Chinese restaurant in retrospect, turqoise leatherette booths and wall hangings with dragons and rice paddies and little Chinese villages on them.

An older Chinese woman motioned that I could sit down, and I sat in one of the booths. The restaurant was more or less empty. Then out from the kitchen came this vision of oriental loveliness. She was probably in her mid-twenties, perfect golden skin, impish little smile, and that hairstyle that's really cute where her hair is straight and then curls in just below her jawline. Her hair was such a dark black that it almost had a bluish tint to it, and her eyes were so dark that you couldn't tell the pupil from the iris.

She brought some water out, and some of those little crunchy wonton thingies, and gave me a big, genuine smile. She was quite petite, but also had some curves - not a lot, but enough to really catch your eye. I remember to this day that outfit - tight jeans and a white lacy top that was just low enough that you could see the swell of her bosom starting, yet not low enough to show anything.

I told her I hadn't been here before, and asked her what was good, and she recommended the mongolian beef. I had no idea what it was, so I said sure. With that, she sashayed back to the kitchen, her small, round derriere drawing my gaze as it langorously swayed back and forth with each step. Ten minutes later, she came out with a plate of mongolian beef.

And that, my friends, was the first time I ever had Chinese food.

NewChief
08-09-2008, 02:44 PM
I was 16 years old, and a Chinese restaurant opened up in town. I was intrigued, but it took me a while to work up the courage to go in, since my parents were meat and potatoes people. But one day I went in, and it was a classic Chinese restaurant in retrospect, turqoise leatherette booths and wall hangings with dragons and rice paddies and little Chinese villages on them.

An older Chinese woman motioned that I could sit down, and I sat in one of the booths. The restaurant was more or less empty. Then out from the kitchen came this vision of oriental loveliness. She was probably in her mid-twenties, perfect golden skin, impish little smile, and that hairstyle that's really cute where her hair is straight and then curls in just below her jawline. Her hair was such a dark black that it almost had a bluish tint to it, and her eyes were so dark that you couldn't tell the pupil from the iris.

She brought some water out, and some of those little crunchy wonton thingies, and gave me a big, genuine smile. She was quite petite, but also had some curves - not a lot, but enough to really catch your eye. I remember to this day that outfit - tight jeans and a white lacy top that was just low enough that you could see the swell of her bosom starting, yet not low enough to show anything.

I told her I hadn't been here before, and asked her what was good, and she recommended the mongolian beef. I had no idea what it was, so I said sure. With that, she sashayed back to the kitchen, her small, round derriere drawing my gaze as it langorously swayed back and forth with each step. Ten minutes later, she came out with a plate of mongolian beef.

And that, my friends, was the first time I ever had Chinese food.


I've avoided this thread, until I saw Rain Man had posted in it. You never disappoint, my friend.

crazycoffey
08-09-2008, 03:08 PM
I'm still a virgin...

Discuss Thrower
08-10-2008, 01:18 AM
I'm still a virgin...

Rep for being a smarter man than I.

Rausch
08-10-2008, 01:24 AM
Some gal with a Motley Crue T and and a friggen OBSCENE poof on her forehead.

Like 90-91. I was in 8th grade.

Big stuff, me. Downed the trowsers on top of some parked car and ScrEEEEEEeeeeech.

* **** me ow it hurts all my ass hair gone please stop don't stop hurts so much can't let her oh hell don't make me push **** ow HURTS HAIR ALL GONE I ****ING HATE YOU WO-................ah....*

KcMizzou
08-10-2008, 01:37 AM
Some gal with a Motley Crue T and and a friggen OBSCENE poof on her forehead.

Like 90-91. I was in 8th grade.

Big stuff, me. Downed the trowsers on top of some parked car and ScrEEEEEEeeeeech.

* **** me ow it hurts all my ass hair gone please stop don't stop hurts so much can't let her oh hell don't make me push **** ow HURTS HAIR ALL GONE I ****ING HATE YOU WO-................ah....*Speaking of teh Crue...

Primal Scream was fun back then.... :evil:

DaneMcCloud
08-10-2008, 02:26 AM
And that, my friends, was the first time I ever had Chinese food.


Did it taste like chicken?


Or fish?

Otter
08-10-2008, 02:28 AM
10:15pm est: ewwww, what are you doing?!?!?

10:15pm est: shhhh, I'm almost done

10:16pm est: got any tissues?

boogblaster
08-10-2008, 08:28 AM
Drunken mother of five took me down and had her way with me littl' penie ... I was 15 years 7 months and 2 days old .....

Al Bundy
08-10-2008, 08:34 AM
1987.... Oran Juice Jones In The Rain was playing in the background.. and I lasted the length of the song, with my wife Stephanie. We split up for 4 years or so before getting back together.

el borracho
08-10-2008, 04:47 PM
I took a co-worker on a date to see one of the "Nightmare on Elm Street" movies. After the movie, we ended alone up back at my place and I thought, "I should make a move", so I kissed her. She kissed back so I kept going, hands on boobs over shirt, hands on boobs under shirt, then sitting on the bed, then off with the clothes (she undid her own bra).

I tried to go "downtown" because I had read in a men's magazine that some women considered that a prerequisite to going all the way but the girl I was with freaked out a bit when my mouth passed her navel so I came back up and spent a few minutes trying to find my way in. Eventually, she reached down and guided me in and a short while later my head was in the clouds and I was wetting her belly.

Of course, her head wasn't in the clouds (she actually made a remark) so we immediately did it again (seriously up and at it again within a minute) and about 20 minutes later I was rewarded with a compliment before she left and I spent the next few hours in euphoria thinking how incredible the whole thing was.