PDA

View Full Version : Football Emmitt Smith: Wordsmith


OnTheWarpath58
09-14-2008, 09:57 AM
Probably a repost, but I had to post this after just watching Emmitt call Matt Cassel "Matt Hassel" FIVE TIMES on SportsCenter this morning.

Emmitt Smiff makes Merrill Hoge look like a GD Rhodes Scholar.

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/jkl-emmitt-smith-wordsmith/4037468589

Goddammit. ABC pulled the video...

Gotta settle for this, from Walter Football:





The Simple Emmitts

The following Emmitt quotes are comprised of one or two small grammatical errors. Emmitt made so many of these, I considered it a miracle every time he went 10 words without a blunder.

"Wade [Phillips] inherit this success." (Commentary: That may be true, but it also looks like someone will be inheriting Emmitt's seat on Sunday NFL Countdown sometime soon.)

"My game-breaker go to Brett Favre." (Commentary: And my dictionary go to Emmitt. Please, Emmitt, start reading.)

"And when defense felt my will, it was a total different game then." (Commentary: Scoring touchdowns? Easy. Using adverbs? Impossible.)

"The Packers don't has a running game." (Commentary: And if this keeps up, ESPN will not has good ratings.)

"This team have not played confident football in three weeks." (Commentary: I love it how Emmitt refuses to use contractions. Emmitt doesn't cut corners!)

"He gets the ball over to their third read than most quarterback can." (Commentary: I think Emmitt forgot a word here, but at least he didn't say "He get the ball over...")

"Mike Martz have this offense rollin'" (Commentary: And Emmitt have this grammar thing rollin'... NOT.)

"The Pittsburgh Steelers are not as good as everyone think they are." (Commentary: What is Emmitt talking about? I thinks the Steelers is good!")

"He deserve to be coach of the year." (Commentary: I wasn't sure who should be coach of the year, but Emmitt really swayed me with that argument.")

"He's gonna be the guy Tom Brady look for on third downs." (Commentary: And I don't think Emmitt's gonna be the guy Webster look for when he updates his dictionary.)

"It takes a coach who know how to communicate." (Commentary: And it takes an analyst who "know" how to communicate too - unless you're working for ESPN.)

"He turn around and go deep on Dre' Bly" (Commentary: Career touchdowns, 175. Career rushing yards, 18,355. Career verbs conjugated, 0.)

"Brett Favre went into Dallas nine times and have a big goose egg." (Commentary: And I bet Emmitt had tons of big goose eggs on his grammar tests when he was in high school.)

"I love those style of play that the Tennessee Titans bring to the game." (Commentary: What a coincidence! I love those grammatical error that Emmitt bring to the Sunday NFL Countdown!)

"Let's see if he step up big today and play great for the Chargers." (Commentary: I tried to look up if the word "he" can be used as plural. Instead of giving me an answer, Dictionary.com called me an idiot and crashed my computer.)

"All your base are belong to us." (Commentary: OK, maybe Emmitt didn't really say that, but I guarantee he was hired to translate for CATS. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, Check this out. Someone really needs to make a mix video of CATS and Emmitt talking to each other.)

"That offense does... do look good." (Commentary: He was actually about to say "That offense does look good," but changed what he said mid-sentence to "That offense do look good." I'm speechless. How can someone be so poor at grammar? Did CATS really say, "All of your bases belong... All your base are belong to us?")

"He just need a runnin game to help him." (Commentary: And Emmitt need Hooked on Phonics to help him.)

"Giants has too many guys in the secondary banged up." (Commentary: Ahhh, the tricky has-have dilemma. When do you use "has?" When do you use "have?" This has puzzled writers for years.)

"All those things messes with the mentality of your ball club." (Commentary: And all of these Emmitt quotes messes with the mentality of my brain.)

"I'm concerned about a guy who fall down before get hits." (Commentary: And I'm concerned about a guy who speak before he conjugate his verb and puts the "s" in the wrong place, but you don't see me making a big fuss over it.)

Nightfyre
09-14-2008, 10:12 AM
A) R E P O S T!
B) Emmitt Smiff: Wordsmiff.

milkman
09-14-2008, 10:13 AM
I vote we send TommyCat to ESPN to help him improve his language skills.

OnTheWarpath58
09-14-2008, 10:14 AM
A) R E P O S T!
B) Emmitt Smiff: Wordsmiff.

Yeah, I know.

I don't post during the game, so I had to get my "Hootieness" out of my system this morning.

Hootieness: Starting a thread for any random ****ing thought in your head about the game, instead of just posting it in the game thread.

Nightfyre
09-14-2008, 10:30 AM
Yeah, I know.

I don't post during the game, so I had to get my "Hootieness" out of my system this morning.

Hootieness: Starting a thread for any random ****ing thought in your head about the game, instead of just posting it in the game thread.
I'm just giving you a hard time. Really, I just wanted to post the second part. If I had to be completely honest.

milkman
09-14-2008, 10:31 AM
I'm just giving you a hard time. Really, I just wanted to post the second part. If I had to be completely honest.

Liar!

Lonewolf Ed
09-14-2008, 11:37 AM
I likes watchin' Emmitt do what he do. :shake:

Friendo
09-14-2008, 11:54 AM
dude provides major (unintentional) comic relief--he's the updated version of Yogi.

Hydrae
09-14-2008, 11:57 AM
This man was given a free college education???

stumppy
09-14-2008, 12:03 PM
This man was given a free college education???

Sound like he got what he pay for.

jjjayb
09-14-2008, 01:32 PM
Sound like he got what he pay for.

:D