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Alphaman
09-29-2008, 08:24 AM
Over the course of the years I've been on this board I have seen various discussions on marriage and marriage issues. I'd like to offer a suggestion for all marriages (newly married or have been married for a while, struggling marriage or strong, vibrant marriage).

Go see the movie FIREPROOF. It is a wonderful movie about marriage.

Phobia
09-29-2008, 08:33 AM
I've heard that movie talked about all weekend. We'll definitely see it, whether it's at the theater or at home on DVD, it's in our queue.

seclark
09-29-2008, 08:49 AM
i hate to sound like gochiefs, but will it get me laid?
sec

The Rick
09-29-2008, 08:53 AM
My wife and I saw it last night and loved it. The message definitely resonated with both of us and we've already started to try to change certain things.

I liked the little twist at the end...didn't see that one coming. :)

Simply Red
09-29-2008, 08:55 AM
But, that woman left ME!

Alphaman
09-29-2008, 08:55 AM
i hate to sound like gochiefs, but will it get me laid?
sec


The movie itself won't, but if you work the message of the movie it most definitely will.

phisherman
09-29-2008, 03:12 PM
christian low-budget cheesy movie - check
kirk cameron in a starring role - check

no thanks.

L.A. Chieffan
09-29-2008, 03:14 PM
THE RAPTURE IS COMING. MAKE SURE YOUR WIFE OBEYS YOU.

Brock
09-29-2008, 03:15 PM
I read a review where it says the Kirk Cameron character smashed his computer with a baseball bat so he'd finally stop whacking to milfhunter or whatever.

L.A. Chieffan
09-29-2008, 03:16 PM
I read a review where it says the Kirk Cameron character smashed his computer with a baseball bat so he'd finally stop whacking to milfhunter or whatever.

That's just being wasteful. Poor people can't wack off to milfhunter

Spott
09-29-2008, 03:17 PM
Any good movies out about divorce?

luv
09-29-2008, 03:27 PM
Any good movies out about divorce?

War of the Roses

MOhillbilly
09-29-2008, 03:29 PM
christian low-budget cheesy movie - check
kirk cameron in a starring role - check

no thanks.

lord when we were at the lake some dude who was related to kirk was pimping his sermon dvds. :spock:
then bill maas showed up.LMAO

phisherman
09-29-2008, 03:31 PM
movies like this are the reason why kids raised in sheltered christian homes get a little jaded when they finally are exposed to secular entertainment.

they find out how cheap and formulaic christian media is on the whole. though i should say that a lot of secular media is just as bad.

Pestilence
09-29-2008, 03:39 PM
Funny......I just proposed to my girlfriend on Saturday.

luv
09-29-2008, 03:40 PM
Funny......I just proposed to my girlfriend on Saturday.

I'm gonna take a stab and say she said yes. Although, if she did, you should be a little more enthusiastic.

L.A. Chieffan
09-29-2008, 03:41 PM
Funny......I just proposed to my girlfriend on Saturday.

Condolences..ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I mean Congratulations.

Sure-Oz
09-29-2008, 03:42 PM
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/10010214-fireproof/

57%

I bet my gf will want to see this, must keep this hush hush
Although her and I aren't in a rush to get married.

Pestilence
09-29-2008, 03:45 PM
I'm gonna take a stab and say she said yes. Although, if she did, you should be a little more enthusiastic.

I'm happy.....how enthusiastic am I supposed to be? lol

OH MY GOD!!!11!1!1!!! She said yes!!11!1!!ONE!!!111!1!


I knew she would say yes.

luv
09-29-2008, 03:46 PM
I'm happy.....how enthusiastic am I supposed to be? lol

OH MY GOD!!!11!1!1!!! She said yes!!11!1!!ONE!!!111!1!


I knew she would say yes.

Something like that, yes. But I can see why you'd want to play it cool on here. Congrats, man.

sedated
09-29-2008, 03:47 PM
I knew she would say yes.

then why did you ask?

Pestilence
09-29-2008, 03:49 PM
then why did you ask?

Apparently chicks like to be asked....with a ring to go along with it.

luv
09-29-2008, 03:49 PM
then why did you ask?

Tax breaks, cheaper insurance, to give her half his stuff....

Baby Lee
09-29-2008, 03:49 PM
I read a review where it says the Kirk Cameron character smashed his computer with a baseball bat so he'd finally stop whacking to milfhunter or whatever.

I went to a church service [out of friendship] with one of those sects. Dude talked for like an hour about how he used to whack it with abandon before he found Jesus.
It's all about how, until they found Jesus they were; philanderers, dope fiends, thieves, raging alcoholics, degenerate gamblers, . . you name it. Now they have something more edifying to which to place their attentions.
Seems like sects of this nature are largely composed of weak willed people in need of structure more than a spiritual communion with the devine.
Fine for them, completely non-resonant for me. Kind of like the military mindset.

Pestilence
09-29-2008, 03:50 PM
Tax breaks, cheaper insurance, to give her half his stuff....

As long as it's not my 47" TV, Xbox 360, PS3 and my Onkyo surround sound system.

Sure-Oz
09-29-2008, 03:51 PM
Tax breaks, cheaper insurance, to give her half his stuff....

Prenup

phisherman
09-29-2008, 03:52 PM
I went to a church service [out of friendship] with one of those sects. Dude talked for like an hour about how he used to whack it with abandon before he found Jesus.
It's all about how, until they found Jesus they were; philanderers, dope fiends, thieves, raging alcoholics, degenerate gamblers, . . you name it. Now they have something more edifying to which to place their attentions.
Seems like sects of this nature are largely composed of weak willed people in need of structure more than a spiritual communion with the devine.
Fine for them, completely non-resonant for me. Kind of like the military mindset.

kcjohnny arrival in 3.....2.....1

Pestilence
09-29-2008, 03:52 PM
I went to a church service [out of friendship] with one of those sects. Dude talked for like an hour about how he used to whack it with abandon before he found Jesus.
It's all about how, until they found Jesus they were; philanderers, dope fiends, thieves, raging alcoholics, degenerate gamblers, . . you name it. Now they have something more edifying to which to place their attentions.
Seems like sects of this nature are largely composed of weak willed people in need of structure more than a spiritual communion with the devine.
Fine for them, completely non-resonant for me. Kind of like the military mindset.

The military mindset is weak willed?

Baby Lee
09-29-2008, 03:53 PM
Also, on the creep-meter, Cameron is so 'commited' to fidelity [weak willed], that he made his wife stand in silouhette so he could kiss her in the film's one kissing scene, rather than blaspheme to kiss his actual co-star.

luv
09-29-2008, 03:54 PM
The military mindset is weak willed?

I can see it. You give up your will for the mindset.

Pestilence
09-29-2008, 03:55 PM
I can see it. You give up your will for the mindset.

Or you wanted to follow in your Dad and Grandpa's footsteps. I didn't join because I wanted the structure or I was weak willed.

sedated
09-29-2008, 03:55 PM
Dude talked for like an hour about how he used to whack it with abandon before he found Jesus.

then I hope I never find jesus

Sure-Oz
09-29-2008, 03:55 PM
Also, on the creep-meter, Cameron is so 'commited' to fidelity [weak willed], that he made his wife stand in silouhette so he could kiss her in the film's one kissing scene, rather than blaspheme to kiss his actual co-star.
He was such a man whore on growing pains too, such a shame.

I know one of my friends husbands used to be an asshole to her all the time, drink alot etc till he found jesus and now they do everything church related together. Crazy how that happens, the change. Why couldn't they have done it on their own, you make your own choices.

Baby Lee
09-29-2008, 03:56 PM
The military mindset is weak willed?

I don't want to ruffle feathers, but yes. Not in the sense that all military personnel are weak-willed, often the opposite. In the sense that one is compelled to a code by external force, rather than developing one's own code.
Like the line in 'An Officer and a Gentleman' "I've got no where else to go!!'
A strong willed person knows what he wants from life and what his plan is to achieve it. The military TELLS you what you want from life and how to achieve it. It breaks you down until you have no faith in yourself outside your unit, and replaces your self-esteem with brotherhood and reliance on the military system.

See also, Born in East LA "I was in the Army being all I could be, but [they told me] all I could be was a cook, so I was a cook."

Baby Lee
09-29-2008, 03:59 PM
Or you wanted to follow in your Dad and Grandpa's footsteps. I didn't join because I wanted the structure or I was weak willed.

There's that as well, but I hope you see the line of analysis that I posted in reply.

It's not about 'the mindset of wanting to do military things' it's the 'military mindset' once you get there that you're nothing but they'll make you something.

Pestilence
09-29-2008, 04:00 PM
I don't want to ruffle feathers, but yes. Not in the sense that all military personnel are weak-willed, often the opposite. In the sense that one is compelled to a code by external force, rather than developing one's own code.
Like the line in 'An Officer and a Gentleman' "I've got no where else to go!!'
A strong willed person knows what he wants from life and what his plan is to achieve it. The military TELLS you what you want from life and how to achieve it. It breaks you down until you have no faith in yourself outside your unit, and replaces your self-esteem with brotherhood and reliance on the military system.

See also, Born in East LA "I was in the Army being all I could be, but [they told me] all I could be was a cook, so I was a cook."

It doesn't just break you down until you have no faith in yourself. It's there to break you down so that you CAN have faith in yourself. To show you that you can do something if you put your mind to it.

Baby Lee
09-29-2008, 04:01 PM
He was such a man whore on growing pains too, such a shame.

I know one of my friends husbands used to be an asshole to her all the time, drink alot etc till he found jesus and now they do everything church related together. Crazy how that happens, the change. Why couldn't they have done it on their own, you make your own choices.

Like I said, ir I hope I made clear, I bear no ill-will for those for whom this [whether religion or military] works. It just isn't for me. I prefer to chose my own way in life and come by my relationship with God out of free-will, not fear of bad secular-bound habits.

Thig Lyfe
09-29-2008, 04:02 PM
Go see the movie FIREPROOF. It is a wonderful movie about marriage.

You cannot be serious.

Phobia
09-29-2008, 04:02 PM
I know one of my friends husbands used to be an asshole to her all the time, drink alot etc till he found jesus and now they do everything church related together. Crazy how that happens, the change. Why couldn't they have done it on their own, you make your own choices.
Heh. They couldn't do it on their own because they were trying to do it on their own.

There are plenty of resources at well-connected churches which can help improve your family life without becoming a raging Jesus-freak. It's not always a cult thing.

Saulbadguy
09-29-2008, 04:03 PM
The movie itself won't, but if you work the message of the movie it most definitely will.

I tried that with the movie TRANSFORMERS, didn't work.

Baby Lee
09-29-2008, 04:05 PM
It doesn't just break you down until you have no faith in yourself. It's there to break you down so that you CAN have faith in yourself. To show you that you can do something if you put your mind to it.

And for the person who already believes in himself and knows how to put his mind to things?

I would have loved to go into the military, but I knew if I were tracked for anything short of the top [Top Gun, sniper school, Special Ops], I'd spend my entire career bridling and seething under puffy-faced scowlers subjecting me to endless physical activity to squelch my sense of self. [Think Bill Murray in Stripes]

Sure-Oz
09-29-2008, 04:05 PM
Like I said, ir I hope I made clear, I bear no ill-will for those for whom this [whether religion or military] works. It just isn't for me. I prefer to chose my own way in life and come by my relationship with God out of free-will, not fear of bad secular-bound habits.

I hear ya...i know people that go to church all the time and say they are one with jesus or whatever religion it may be, yet they are still assholes, it comes down to personal responsibilities and making the right choices imo. IMO it is weird to see that friends husband at how he is, compared to what he was, because it seems so damn fake. She wasn't real religious either and all the sudden they are involved a ton and act different. I sometimes have to watch what i say, just weird to me. I have no problem with people that do what they want, but knowing how he was and she was a nice girl all the time, and al the sudden he wants to go to church to change himself, its like a 180 and bam they got married after that change and have been that way since. I hardly see them anymore cause they are so involved in church related stuff and groups.

Phobia
09-29-2008, 04:06 PM
I tried that with the movie TRANSFORMERS, didn't work.

Because you failed the "more than meets the eye" part so epically.

Sure-Oz
09-29-2008, 04:07 PM
Heh. They couldn't do it on their own because they were trying to do it on their own.

There are plenty of resources at well-connected churches which can help improve your family life without becoming a raging Jesus-freak. It's not always a cult thing.

I hear what you are saying, and im happy for them, i was just suprised that they ended up together and married after all the BS he put her through. At the same time i guess im not suprised...

Phobia
09-29-2008, 04:07 PM
I hear ya...i know people that go to church all the time and say they are one with jesus or whatever religion it may be, yet they are still assholes, it comes down to personal responsibilities and making the right choices imo. IMO it is weird to see that friends husband at how he is, compared to what he was, because it seems so damn fake. She wasn't real religious either and all the sudden they are involved a ton and act different. I sometimes have to watch what i say, just weird to me. I have no problem with people that do what they want, but knowing how he was and she was a nice girl all the time, and al the sudden he wants to go to church to change himself, its like a 180 and bam they got married after that change and have been that way since. I hardly see them anymore cause they are so involved in church related stuff and groups.

I'm confused - it sounds like you're complaining but they sound happy. What's the deal with this story?

Sure-Oz
09-29-2008, 04:10 PM
I'm confused - it sounds like you're complaining but they sound happy. What's the deal with this story?

No, not at all, i guess i never really liked the guy cause he was a dick to her before, verbal abuse, toying with her etc. Then maybe a month later he was a totally different guy to her and they got married shortly after. I guess i shouldn't complain because he seems like he's gotten himself straight since dedicating himself to church and christ. I just don't see her that often at all thats probably it.

Baby Lee
09-29-2008, 04:12 PM
I'm confused - it sounds like you're complaining but they sound happy. What's the deal with this story?

I think he's getting to the division whether you think religion is something you choose freely, or it's something you must choose or your life will suck.

Some people are drawn to religion because of the precepts of compassion and forgiveness and the way it forms how you choose to comport yourself, without regard to reward or punishment.
Some are drawn to religion out of a sense of quid pro quo, ie, if I follow these secular rules, these secular benefits will follow. But, and this is IMO, this is still a secular relationship to the divine, and not one of free will, but consequence avoidance.

Phobia
09-29-2008, 04:15 PM
No, not at all, i guess i never really liked the guy cause he was a dick to her before, verbal abuse, toying with her etc. Then maybe a month later he was a totally different guy to her and they got married shortly after. I guess i shouldn't complain because he seems like he's gotten himself straight since dedicating himself to church and christ. I just don't see her that often at all thats probably it.

Okay. So it is a positive story but you don't get to see her often any longer. That's not really too uncommon for newly-weds, whether they attend church or otherwise. One day you'll get married and realize you want to spend most of your free time with your wife making a home for your family instead of hanging out with your idiot friends.

Sure-Oz
09-29-2008, 04:18 PM
Okay. So it is a positive story but you don't get to see her often any longer. That's not really too uncommon for newly-weds, whether they attend church or otherwise. One day you'll get married and realize you want to spend most of your free time with your wife making a home for your family instead of hanging out with your idiot friends.

Not a problem there, almost all of my friends are married and I hardly get to see them at all. We usuall have to plan things way ahead, agreed. With her and him, it never works out, ever...and we never get invited to any of their gatherings, its usually friends of their's ive never heard of or new friends. I've known her for many years, and im not a lets get drunk etc, usually the type of thing we'd do is go out and have a good time without alcohol as a necessity or throw game nights, very simple stuff and they just never can make it or don't respond really.

Phobia
09-29-2008, 04:18 PM
I think he's getting to the division whether you think religion is something you choose freely, or it's something you must choose or your life will suck.

Some people are drawn to religion because of the precepts of compassion and forgiveness and the way it forms how you choose to comport yourself, without regard to reward or punishment.
Some are drawn to religion out of a sense of quid pro quo, ie, if I follow these secular rules, these secular benefits will follow. But, and this is IMO, this is still a secular relationship to the divine, and not one of free will, but consequence avoidance.

Religion is just a social club, dude. You have your own relationship (or not) with God and that's the important part. You don't need a social club to achieve that but it helps if your peers are seeking a relationship with the Almighty alongside you.

Phobia
09-29-2008, 04:21 PM
Not a problem there, almost all of my friends are married and I hardly get to see them at all. We usuall have to plan things way ahead, agreed. With her and him, it never works out, ever...and we never get invited to any of their gatherings.
Ah - they've gravitated towards hanging out with their new church circle and excluded you because they think you wouldn't enjoy the activities - for instance if they've excluded alcohol or something like that. You should simply acknowledge the change in focus and speak openly about it. They'll be more comfortable and you will as well.

Sure-Oz
09-29-2008, 04:23 PM
Ah - they've gravitated towards hanging out with their new church circle and excluded you because they think you wouldn't enjoy the activities - for instance if they've excluded alcohol or something like that. You should simply acknowledge the change in focus and speak openly about it. They'll be more comfortable and you will as well.

I'll try that...it's not just me but alot of her other "good" friends that haven't really hung out with her except a random lunch or something. appreciate the advice, i will just have to set up something and talk to her about it.

Phobia
09-29-2008, 04:28 PM
The "church" debate aside, if Alphaman tells me that a movie could possibly benefit my marriage, I'm going to accept that advice. He and his wife have a wonderful marriage and good kids as well. Solid family.

Baby Lee
09-29-2008, 04:29 PM
Religion is just a social club, dude. You have your own relationship (or not) with God and that's the important part. You don't need a social club to achieve that but it helps if your peers are seeking a relationship with the Almighty alongside you.

Not all. I'm probably in a fairly unique situation religion-wise, in that my 'church' has diverged wildly from what I was raised with, so I've spent a ton of time examining what I believe and why on my own [because, first I was a member of a congregation growing up that resisted the divergence, and second since I moved to St. Louis, all the congregations have accepted the divergence without compunction [or thought], so I don't feel it's my place to raise these issues with them].
Growing up, my congregation devoted themselves largely to passionate analysis of what the teachings of Jesus revealed about the expectations and compassion of God, not in a secular sense [don't do this, do that], but in a communal sense [love your neighbor as yourself, love God with all your heart, might, mind and strength, judge not, lest ye be judged]. Doing in depth consideration of how the parables demonstrate aspects of God's judgment and his compassion.
We never had sermons about how the preacher used to be a degenerate until God gave him a blueprint for living. Ours was not a social club, but more of a roundtable of critical thinking and inspiration.

StcChief
09-29-2008, 04:49 PM
Tax breaks, cheaper insurance, to give her half his stuff....
she don't want his bachelor stuff.... might as well have yard/apt sale and not move it.

geronimo
10-03-2008, 05:09 PM
i saw fireproof yesterday partly as a result of your suggestion. it was pretty good. i will probably take the wife and recommend to my brother/sister-in-law. ironically, he's a fireman and they are having similar issues. alphaman, thanks for the recommendation. appreciate the heads-up. btw i'm a kappaman.

Deberg_1990
10-03-2008, 06:40 PM
I cant ever get over Kirk Cameron as anything but Mike Seaver.