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View Full Version : CRONUS/Simply Red has the ONLY Comprehensive Education Platform


HolyHandgernade
10-06-2008, 10:44 PM
My Fellow Chief's Planet Americans,

As the top advisor to the Cronus/Simply Red ticket for Education, I plan to introduce the highlights of the Education Platform. I do this because highlights are all I really have at this point and details are often fleeting, arbitrary, and get in the way of an effective campaign pitch!

It is well known that our worthy opponents, Bad Girl, Direckshun, and Joey, have long opposed education. These classic tax and spend, bleeding heart liberal Democrats have nothing to offer in this area, just look at some of these direct quotes (any requests for source material for any quote will be available at an arbitrary date of the Cronus/Simply Red choosing):

Education has classically been used as a means of imposing racial and sexual discrimination and will not be tolerated in this campaign!

--Bad Girl

Education is the opiate of the masses, we oppose addictions of all kinds!

--Direckshun


Education should be properly regulated and taxed like any other vice!

--Joey

My fellow Chief's Planet Americans, we simply cannot let the ultra left wing politics of these individuals represent the vast majority whose values more closely align with libertarian Democratic ideals of the Cronus/Simply Red ticket. We will not let this country become the "Idiocracy" these other candidates obviously have in store for us. We deserve better for our children!

Education needs to be reinvented for 21st century America. We must not let valuable resources that give America the competitive edge go undiscovered through lack of resources, revenue, or opportunity. Therefore, the Cronus/Simply Red team will reward those who give their service to America with the best education at the best American colleges in the world!

Individuals who donate 30 months of national service to the United States, such as Americorp, will receive a four year degree tuition. 12 months of national service will award them tuition for a trade school. Further, as the limits of our teachers are continually stretched due to faculty constraints, we will institute the new "Teacher's Corp", allowing high school graduates to work with teachers, providing more one on one help for elementary students. Tuition awarded just as other national service programs.

Of course, military personnel will find expanded benefits to pursue their education dreams after completion of honorable service.

This program offers numerous benefits:

It allows young people to give back to their community, gaining some real world experience.

It allows for a time of maturity between high school and college, producing more focused students.

It increases the sense of community between our fellow Americans.

But this is just one aspect of the Education overhaul! More exciting revisions are on the way focusing on the students in the system. America will regain its preeminence as the leader in the education of our young Americans. Vote Liberty! Vote Cronus/Simply Red!

Simply Red
10-06-2008, 10:49 PM
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cdcox
10-06-2008, 10:52 PM
As the Environmental Cabinet dude, I'd like to add that Three R's of Reading, Riting and R'itmatic are not enough for Cronus - Simply Red. We also educate about Reuse, Reduce, and Recycle. Six R's for us!

Logical
10-07-2008, 12:07 AM
Don't forget that our volunteers will patrol the borders, keeping them safe and sanitary,.... well safe anyway.

CRONUS/Simply Red 08

StcChief
10-07-2008, 06:35 AM
sold. Send 'em down the border.

bringbackmarty
10-07-2008, 07:25 AM
I could give a rats ass...What's your policy on Herm?

HolyHandgernade
10-07-2008, 07:29 AM
I could give a rats ass...What's your policy on Herm?

In a Cronus/Simply Red Education Platform we are strongly for the Math program that teaches Chiefs fans to count by multiples of seven, as opposed to three as our opponents favor!

-HH

Ultra Peanut
10-07-2008, 07:35 AM
I could give a rats ass...What's your policy on Herm?The Ultra Peanut campaign is proud to supervise the Germ Warfare paramilitary organization, which is devoted to eliminating the menaces that are Herm and Carl.

Simply Red
10-16-2008, 12:55 AM
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Logical
10-20-2008, 01:30 AM
The Ultra Peanut campaign is proud to supervise the Germ Warfare paramilitary organization, which is devoted to eliminating the menaces that are Herm and Carl.We at CRONUS/SimplyRed think that we don't need a slick name to know that Carl and Herm must go.