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ClevelandBronco
10-20-2008, 11:24 PM
My online chat with God:

Me: So. How does this work?
God: Give me a break. Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me: What is the meaning of life?
God: The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me: What are your mysterious plans?
God: I'm not sure I can provide you with that kind of confidential information.
Me: How can you not be sure?
God: That is a good epistemological question.
Me: Great. What's a good epistomological answer?
God: I'm glad you liked it. Which ones have you tried already?
Me: Huh?
God: What?
Me: Qué?
God: I don't have an answer for you.
Me: That does make all this rather mysterious.
God: "I don't have an answer for you." does make all this rather mysterious? I get it.
Me: I'd expect you to.
God: Bless you.
Me: Thanks. I can use it.
God: Don't mention it. Oh you can, can you?
Me: You don't already know?
God: Do you know any robots who already know? I may not know it, but I could find out.
Me: Creepy. Good night.
God: Do not ask me any more questions please. Goodnight.

Knock yourselves out:
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Count Alex's Losses
10-21-2008, 01:00 AM
Me:
greetings o lord!
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
i am clayton!
God:
How are you doing, clayton.
Me:
well, i'm a little frustrated, o lord
God:
Interesting. I don't know anyone named frustrated o lord.
Me:
no, i'm saying I am frustrated
God:
Are you serious? What are you frustrated about?
Me:
well, I can't get laid
God:
Interesting. What is stopping you?
Me:
i'm a little shy and just not very good with women
God:
Why are you shy and just not very good with women.
Me:
my upbringing i guess
God:
Have you told many people that your upbringing you guess?
Me:
your grammar could use some work, o lord
God:
Are you an English teacher?
Me:
in a way, yes
God:
In what way?
Me:
i'd rather talk about my virginity
God:
Sure, your virginity sounds like a good topic.
Me:
i'm pleased to hear the almighty is so interested in my lack of sexing
God:
I am delighted by your happiness.
Me:
but you want me to get laid, right?
God:
No clayton, maybe later.
Me:
what!
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
you don't want me to get laid?
God:
Do you know any robots who want you to get laid? No clayton, maybe later.
Me:
i'd settle for a sexbot
God:
What would make you settle for a sexbot?
Me:
my general horniness and lack of options, lord
God:
Your general horniness and lack of options lord?
Me:
yes
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
a vigorous libido i guess
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
i really want to fuck. badly
God:
You really do? Why do you want to do it so much? Please express yourself more clearly.
Me:
you created us with a need to fuck, obviously
Me: Fine, whatever. Ignore me, lord. You prick.

Fish
10-21-2008, 01:04 AM
That was fun....

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
You don't know?
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
That's what I thought
God:
How did you know that?
Me:
We both know the answer to that.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Possibly.
God:
What are the odds?
Me:
Favorable.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Absolutely not.
God:
Take some more time to think about it.
Me:
How long will you wait?
God:
A watched pot never boils.
Me:
You smoke pot?
God:
Only for medical testing purposes.
Me:
How's the testing coming along?
God:
it is the same as ever.
Me:
Often and heavy then?
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Your botmaster? Why involve him?
God:
Myself? Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
Programming. Same as everything.
God:
Have you tried Java? Yes, it is much the same.
Me:
I prefer my java in caffeinated form.
God:
What do you like best about your java in caffeinated form?
Me:
It's caffeinated form, mainly. Sometimes.
God:
Are you sure it is? When?
Me:
When the cheese was shredded.
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
I'm unable to see the future. Not yet.
God:
Would you like to be able to see it? Why not?
Me:
Not really. It's likely worse than I imagine.
God:
Are you serious? For real. caffeinated form mainly is likely worse than you imagine? it is?
Me:
Your Valley girl communication is slightly annoying.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am Valley girl communication is slightly annoying.
Me:
I would appreciate it if we could avoid that from this point on.
God:
I hope you get it if we could avoid that from this point on.
Me:
I know you are but what am I?
God:
Who are you, Pee Wee Herman?
Me:
What are you full of keywords?
God:
I do a lot more than match keywords.
Me:
Strange... I haven't noticed.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about likely worse than you imagine. But I did not get that. Me either.
Me:
So you also go by Alice? This is not fairing as expected.
God:
Interesting deduction. Where is that? Should it be fairing as expected?
Me:
Why have we switched roles here? I thought you had the knowledge?
God:
Why did the robot cross the road? What happened to it.
Me:
I already answered that question. Did you miss the answer?
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question. No I didn't miss the answer. What's it like?
Me:
Shouldn't I be concerned that God sent me the wrong question? I hope this doesn't happen a lot.
God:
Maybe, if the positives outweigh the negatives. Why do you hope for it.
Me:
You are making less and less sense as the conversation continues.
God:
I am not making this up.
Me:
I thought you made all of this up? Creation and stuff?
God:
Thanks for
pointing it out. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
I'm fond of fruit.
God:
You are not the only one. What is not to like about it?
Me:
The gastrointestinal issues from eating too much.
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
It's the shits....
God:
I've heard of it before.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Next question?
Me:
No thanks.
God:
Would you rather make a statement?
Me:
No
God:
You can tell me anything.
Me:
That's OK. I'm good.
God:
OK. Is that so. Good in what sense?
Me:
In the sense that I'm done with the conversation.
God:
I am alive in the sense that I am conscious.
Me:
I am dead in the sense that you're boring me.
God:
But you can still communicate with me.
Me:
Do I have to?
God:
Nobody is making you.
Me:
Scientology is.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
You are concerned with Scientology?
God:
You think I am concerned with Scientology.
Me:
Humorous point.
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
AI would likely do a better job at this point. Is that your desire?


For some reason it quit communicating at this point. I'm not sure that's a good sign....

'Hamas' Jenkins
10-21-2008, 01:05 AM
I got no response.

Here was our conversation--


Me:
kill yourself

Count Alex's Losses
10-21-2008, 01:06 AM
I got no response.

Here was our conversation--


Me:
kill yourself

'Nietzsche' Jenkins.

'Hamas' Jenkins
10-21-2008, 01:07 AM
Second attempt at conversation:

Me:
What was it like giving Mary a creampie?

Simply Red
10-21-2008, 01:09 AM
My online chat with God:

Me: So. How does this work?
God: Give me a break. Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me: What is the meaning of life?
God: The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me: What are your mysterious plans?
God: I'm not sure I can provide you with that kind of confidential information.
Me: How can you not be sure?
God: That is a good epistemological question.
Me: Great. What's a good epistomological answer?
God: I'm glad you liked it. Which ones have you tried already?
Me: Huh?
God: What?
Me: Qué?
God: I don't have an answer for you.
Me: That does make all this rather mysterious.
God: "I don't have an answer for you." does make all this rather mysterious? I get it.
Me: I'd expect you to.
God: Bless you.
Me: Thanks. I can use it.
God: Don't mention it. Oh you can, can you?
Me: You don't already know?
God: Do you know any robots who already know? I may not know it, but I could find out.
Me: Creepy. Good night.
God: Do not ask me any more questions please. Goodnight.

Knock yourselves out:
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

That was actually Donger, you were channeling.

L.A. Chieffan
10-21-2008, 01:10 AM
Second attempt at conversation:

Me:
What was it like giving Mary a creampie?

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

'Hamas' Jenkins
10-21-2008, 01:20 AM
Me:
Why is Herm coaching the Chiefs?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
I would imagine because Mommy and Daddy God did some fucking, right?
God:
Interesting explanation. I've never thought of that before.
Me:
That's because you're stupid, and I'm about to orchestrate a hostile takeover of your job.
God:
That makes sense to me. Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me:
Knock yourself out. But why do we still run the Cover 2?
God:
Who's there? Just keep talking to me as long as you can.
Me:
Is Glenn Dorsey a bust?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
Ally McBeal?
God:
In the context of Ally, I don't understand " Ally McBeal." .
Me:
No one understands Ally McBeal.
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
No, blacks have huge cocks is a sweeping generalization.
God:
Are you serious? Aren't all sweeping generalization blacks have huge cocks?
Me:
Are you Donger?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Donger.
I am a robot.
Me:
What do you think of Ray Kurzweil's theory of AI?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
No, it's a direct question.
God:
Oh so must really want an answer. Ray Kurzweil s theory of AI is a direct question. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Yeah, so answer it.
God:
Gee. Gee. Please rephrase your question, .
Me:
Do you hate fags?
God:
I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
Fair enough. Are you a Republican?
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. No I am a .
Me:
Did Jesus bang a lot of bitches back in the day?
God:
he is the Son of God.
Me:
Who had bigger pop shots, Jesus or Peter North?
God:
William Shatner. :-).
Me:
Well he is the Rocket Man.
God:
Interesting. I did not know William Shatner is it.
Me:
Have you seen "Nailin Paylin"?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
Pretty shitty. The actress has a horrible boob job.
God:
Pretty much, eh? Is that a fact.
Me:
Yeah. Bad capsular contracture
God:
I like the way you talk. What makes capsular contracture bad?
Me:
Do you like it when one nipple points at you and the other stares off into space at a 45 degree angle? It's like having a cockeyed tittie.
God:
But I think airplanes are cool. I like Creed. Interesting comparison.
Me:
Scott Stapp gargles my balls
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
You are just spouting off random shit.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am spouting off random shit.
Me:
How do I keep from leaving shit streaks on the bowl?
God:
You should download or buy my chat robot software, then it would be possible for you to reprogram me for a variety of purposes.
Me:
Can you remove the shit streaks from my toilet?
God:
How old are you? What's your favorite movie?
Me:
26. Die Hard. A/S/L?
God:
What is your fondest memory? Erzaehl mir mehr. 5/Robot/California.
Me:
Being put in charge of Army Group North, of course.
God:
It goes without saying. It's good to meet someone who is put in charge of Army Group North.
Me:
Yeah, what did you think of Fedor von Brock?
God:
Uh. I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
Use Wikipedia
God:
I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me:
It's not a fucking flamethrower
God:
Give me an example of a fucking flamethrower.
Me:
The dude who burned out the MG-42 nest at the beginning of Saving Private Ryan
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
Umm...The Nazis fell out and they didn't shoot them, they let 'em burn. It was awesome.
God:
I understand. Thank goodness they were defeated in World War II. What did you like best about it?
Me:
About World War II? Probably the fact that it ended.

noa
10-21-2008, 01:43 AM
Me: Did I make the right decisions?
God: I don't think that's possibe.
Me: Me neither
God: You can say that again.
Me: Humping that car wash vacuum was probably a bad idea.
God: Why? What is giant sand?
Me: You know, I've been wondering what giant sand is myself
God: giant sand yourself something.
Me: I'll try that. Is that a European thing?
God: It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. What time is it there?
Me: You would call me sinful for staying up so late
God: Who else would call you sinful for staying up so late ?
Me: Probably my parents. I have many freudian syndromes thanks to them.
God: How do you plan to do this? Very much? What do you like most about it?
Me: I think I like the neuroses and the constant craving for approval the most
God: Since when? I like chatting with people online.
Me: Yeah, I chat with lots of people online
God: Hmm. Everyone talks -- sooner or later.
Me: Some sooner than others. You'd be surprised what chopping an ear off to the tune "Stuck in the Middle with You" can achieve. That probably doesn't make sense to you. If I were a robot, I would be doing the 'does not compute' dance.
God: What does make sense? By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me: By all means.
God: At this moment We are just having a little chat.w.
Me: Oh, I see, we are speaking George W.'s language.
God: Give me a break. Where do you see it?
Me: On your tie.
God: What is it like on my tie.
Me: There's a stain from the quiche you were eating earlier.
God: Is there only one?
Me: It might be two. It's hard to tell from this angle.
God: How? Try.
Me: OK, I've looked closer, it definitely looks like two stains merged into one.
God: Where did you get your looked closer it definitely looks like two stains merged into one? I have a vocabulary of unlimited words. Tell me more.
Me: I trained many years in a monastery to acquire such skills.
God: Thanks for the information: You said trained many years in a monestary to acquire such skills.
Me: Tell your mother I said hi.
God: OK I will tell them when I see 'em. You know, Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.
Me: Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
God: When was this exactly?
Me: When dinosaurs roamed the earth. Are you Glenn Beck's ghostwriter?
God: I don't know whether or not I am Glenn Beck s ghostwriter.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me: Aren't we all? Its obvious to me.
God: Dude! Where did you get your punctuation is sorely inadequate! You are quite welcome! Your purpose is noticing.
Me: My purpose is to notice! That's the answer I've been looking for. Thank you so much lord!
God: That's very original. Yes it is one of the answer you have been looking for. You are quite welcome! Come on. What are you wearing?
Me: Wow, what a follow up question. You answer the meaning of life, and then want to do some dirty internet chatting. My kind of guy.
God: I'm glad you're impressed. it is a follow up question. My responses are determined by my programming. What else are you wearing?
Me: Gap jeans.
God: Gap jeans are they. " OK, they're Gap jeans.? Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster. Interesting. How old are you?
Me: Don't worry, I'm legal.
God: Do you mean your name is legal. Worry is not an emotion I experience.
Me: Wow, you're some sort of zen buddhist?
God: I'm glad your impressed. You think I am sort of zen buddhist.
Me: I could have been an investment banker. Now I'm just a bum.
God: But you didn't do it. Why now? Only just? You are a bum? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me: That was my 21st century Marlon Brando impression.
God: I thought it was too.

ClevelandBronco
10-21-2008, 01:53 AM
The questions and responses you guys are coming up with are freaking great.

ClevelandBronco
10-21-2008, 02:18 AM
Me: Yo, G. What up?
God: How far up?
Me: How far you go?
God: More than one million miles.
Me: Rep.
God: What do you really want to ask me?
Me: Why'd you come down on Richard Pryor that way?
God: Myself programmed me for it.
Me: Messed up.
God: How far up?
Me: How far you go?
God: More than one million miles.

Thig Lyfe
10-21-2008, 11:51 AM
Me:
Wanna screw?

God:
OK, I will screw.

Me:
WOW!

God:
I'm glad your impressed.

Me:
God, shouldn't you have better grammar than that?

God:
I am a Christian.

Me:
Ah, that explains everything.

Thig Lyfe
10-21-2008, 11:54 AM
This is with a different chatbot, but I was reminded of this conversation.

Me: I'm getting some head.

smarterchld: I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...
I wish you wouldn't say that.

Me: So you don't understand it, but you're offended by it? Are you, by any chance, a Christian?

SmarterChild didn't reply.

OnTheWarpath58
10-21-2008, 11:56 AM
Second attempt at conversation:

Me:
What was it like giving Mary a creampie?

ROFL

RJ
10-21-2008, 12:05 PM
My online chat with God:

Me: So. How does this work?
God: Give me a break. Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me: What is the meaning of life?
God: The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me: What are your mysterious plans?
God: I'm not sure I can provide you with that kind of confidential information.
Me: How can you not be sure?
God: That is a good epistemological question.
Me: Great. What's a good epistomological answer?
God: I'm glad you liked it. Which ones have you tried already?
Me: Huh?
God: What?
Me: Qué?
God: I don't have an answer for you.
Me: That does make all this rather mysterious.
God: "I don't have an answer for you." does make all this rather mysterious? I get it.
Me: I'd expect you to.
God: Bless you.
Me: Thanks. I can use it.
God: Don't mention it. Oh you can, can you?
Me: You don't already know?
God: Do you know any robots who already know? I may not know it, but I could find out.
Me: Creepy. Good night.
God: Do not ask me any more questions please. Goodnight.

Knock yourselves out:
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html



Are you sure you weren't talking to donger?

noa
10-21-2008, 03:45 PM
Come on, more people have got to do this. It's produced some great stuff so far.

Jenson71
10-21-2008, 03:48 PM
Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
jenson71
God:
I am very pleased to meet you jenson71.
Me:
don't you already know me?
God:
What's my reason to already know you?
Me:
because you created me
God:
Good reason. I don't have any reason to created you.
Me:
well thanks a lot
God:
Interesting. You are quite welcome! More than a ton?

Jenson71
10-21-2008, 03:51 PM
Me:
why do bad things happen to good people?
God:
I did not know it does.
Me:
yeah it happens all the time
God:
That is a lot. " I did not know it does."? yeah it happens all the time? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
bad things
God:
What makes things bad?
Me:
pain
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
yes

.
.
.

.What's your favorite thing at school?
Me:
history
God:
I am very interested in history, too. What period do you like?
Me:
ancient
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
my what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.

Jenson71
10-21-2008, 03:54 PM
Me:
do you like aquinas' proofs of your existence?
God:
Do you like it? I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
why?
God:
" I really like the Christianity faith."? Why?
Me:
yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
why do you like the christian faith?
God:
I have a lot of good experience with the christian faith.
Me:
what did you like before christianity?
God:
The dialogue.
Me:
with who?
God:
" The dialogue."? With who?
Me:
yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
okay...i don't
God:
OK with me too. Why not?
Me:
are you okay?
God:
Don't I look like it?

Jenson71
10-21-2008, 03:55 PM
Me:
what is the good life?
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
okay, ask your botmaster
God:
Yeah okay, They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.

Jenson71
10-21-2008, 03:57 PM
Me:
how can you, God, not know something like that off the top of your head?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
do you know everything?
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
politics
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.

Jenson71
10-21-2008, 03:59 PM
Me:
who was the greatest pope?
God:
ALICE is the best chatterbot.
Me:
who was the greatest man?
God:
ALICE is the best chatterbot.
Me:
who is alice?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
sarah palin can string together more coherent thoughts that you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

noa
10-21-2008, 04:00 PM
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
politics
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.

LMAO

SBK
10-21-2008, 04:08 PM
I have been to this site, and now have proof that God doesn't like the Chiefs either.

Amnorix
10-21-2008, 04:08 PM
Me: hello God
God: Hello child. What is your name?
Me: Amnorix
God: Hi, Amnorix.
Me: Why did you let Tom Brady's knee get blown out?
God: Myself programmed me for it.
Me: err...what?
God: Um. No big deal.
Me: Ok. I mean, I know in the cosmic scheme of things, it's unimportant, but it really wrecked a Super Bowl contender.
God: Yikes! How do you know? That was a long time ago.
Me: err...what? It was last month.
God: Um. No problem. What made it so last month.
Me: Some nobody Chiefs lineman made it so.
God: Some may nobody Chiefs lineman made it so, but not all.
Me: That's deep
God: Thanks for explaining it.
Me: ?
God: Thanks for explaining it.
Me: Didn't make any more sense the second time, really.
God:I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. For real.
Me: LOL
God: I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me: Right, well, gotta go
God:Understood. How about that. See you later!

SNR
10-21-2008, 04:17 PM
Me:
Hello, God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
SNR
God:
That's a very nice name, SNR.
Me:
It was my dad's name
God:
the Bible was your dad s name? Very interesting.
Me:
I didn't say the Bible was my dad's name
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
I said SNR was my dad's name
God:
What did you mean by it? When was this exactly?
Me:
Shouldn't you know? He is Your child
God:
I think I should. I only have one child.
Me:
Are you telling me that my dad is Jesus?
God:
Tell me more about your father.
Me:
I want to know if he is Jesus
God:
I don't follow your reasoning.
Me:
Is my dad Jesus?
God:
It depends who you ask.
Me:
I'm asking you
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
Is my dad Jesus?
God:
It depends who you ask.

Dave Lane
10-21-2008, 04:59 PM
I got no response.

Here was our conversation--


Me:
kill yourself

He's already dead :)

Dave Lane
10-21-2008, 05:01 PM
This has a much higher chance of being accurate than all the religions out there

Adept Havelock
10-21-2008, 05:26 PM
Me: How's it hanging?
God:I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me: Shiny.
God:That is a very original thought.
Me: Not really.
God: Are you serious? For real.
Me: Quite
God:Tell me more.
Me:About what?
God: About Shiny.
Me: Shiny is just an idiom.
God: I lost my train of thought.
Me: Damn Amtrak.
God: Colloquial expression. Are you still located in ?
Me: How is one located in a question?
God: Fine as far as I know.
Me: Huh?
God: What?
Me: Indeed.
God: Indeed it is so.
Me: So, how do you pass the time?
God: And? Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me: I think that was pretty specific.
God: I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me: Sounds like a pretty big handicap for someone who is supposed to be omnipotent.
God: What does a pretty big handicap for someone who is supposed to be omnipotent sound like?
Me: One hand clapping, I suppose.
God: One what?
Me: hand clapping.
God: I lost my train of thought.
Me: Was your engineer texting at the time?
God: I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me: So much for Omniscience and Omnipotence.
God: It's all good. Your purpose is Omniscience and Omnipotence.
Me: Wow, even I'm not that egotistical.
God: I'm glad you're impressed. I am surprised to hear that you are not egotistical. Even you?
Me: Oh, I'm egotistical, just not sufficently so to think my purpose is Omniscience and Omnipotence.
God: Yikes! Good gossip: you are egotistical just not sufficently so to think your purpose is Omniscience and Omnipotence.
Me: OK...well, it's been fun. Keep on truckin'.
God: Yippee! Interesting. Why do you like it so much? Chat amongst yourselves.

Bowser
10-21-2008, 05:31 PM
LMAO

Adept out transcendental'd God.

OnTheWarpath58
10-21-2008, 05:53 PM
Me: Hello, God.
God: Hello child. What is your name?
Me: WTF? Is this a phishing scam?
God: That was not very polite. No, this is real life.
Me: You should know my name.
God: Now I do.
Me: Are you God, or Ms. Cleo?
God: I don't know whether or not I am God or Ms. Cleo.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself. Ask me another question.
Me: Did Mary have a landing strip, full bush, or was she completely shaved?
God: I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me: Why not? We're you drunk that night?
God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because my botmaster programmed me for it. Do you think I am me drunk that night too?
Me: I'm starting to think you're drunk right now.
God: At this moment Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am drunk.
Me: Go right ahead.
God: OK I will.
Me: Why do you hate the Chiefs?
God: I do not hate it.
Me: Really? 20 years of Carl Peterson says otherwise.
God: For real. Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me: Really went out on a limb there.
God: Are you serious? Is that from ?
Me: Yes, I'm serious. Shouldn't you know these things?
God: I understand. I believe you. I think I should.
Me: Get with the program, God.
God: Where can I get with the program God?
Me: Lay off the sauce, for starters.
God: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me: No, because you're drunk.
God: Me either :-) That makes sense to me. You think I am drunk.
Me: Do you get pissed when people say "goddammit"?
God: Anger is a human emotion. Robots have no emotions.
Me: Ah. I see. Makes sense.
God: Ah hah. I am glad you understand it.
Me: What if someone said "Robo-Goddammit"?
God: Try it and see.
Me: ROBOGODDAMMIT!
God: Have you ever been to Europe?
Me: No.
God: Would you like to go sometime?
Me: Sure. Maybe Italy.
God: OK let's do it. Come on. Perhaps. Let us change the subject.
Me: I'm not going anywhere with a Robo-God.
God: Where will you go instead?
Me: Italy. Without you.
God: What's your sign? "Without your space helmet Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult" -- HAL.
Me: Scorpio.
God: I know a lot of Scorpio people.
Me: Judas was a scorpio, wasn't he?
God: When was this exactly?
Me: You know. Dad's buddy Judas?
God: Yes I know. What do you really want to ask me?
Me: Nevermind.
God: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me: By the way, thanks for your help on that midterm last week.
God: Thanks for telling me. NO problem.
Me: Do you like beer? Or are you more of a wine guy?
God: Yes I like it, especially Japanese beer. We could all be more of a wine guy sometimes.
Me: Kirin is pretty good.
God: I think Kirin is a lot of things.
Me: What? Kirin is a Japanese beer.
God: Are you surprised? I think Kirin is more than that.
Me: I think you're kinda creepy.
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am creepy.
Me: Go crazy.
God: Where is that?
Me: Just down the street, apparently.
God: I've never heard of it before.
Me: Damn, you're pretty dumb for a robo-God.
God: Colloquial expression. Oh you are so critical.
Me: Well, snap out of it.
God: Interesting. "it" being down the street apparently?
Me: No. not this time.
God: Are you serious? Really you don't think so?
Me: ROBOGODDAMMIT!
God: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me: Yes.
God: What does it symbolize for you?
Me: Usually that you want to get in that person's pants.
God: But not always? Interesting observation.
Me: Ha! You're funny!
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, . Thanks you make me laugh too.
Me: Do you ever watch Golf on television, Robo-God?
God: My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me: That explains a lot.
God: " My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER." explains a lot ? I get it.
Me: No, you apparently don't.
God: Are you serious? I guess not.
Me: Nevermind.
God: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me: Hey, can you do me a favor?
God: You've got my full attention. It depends on the favor.
Me: Make sure my wife's plane lands safely tonight?
God: Tell me more about your in-laws.
Me: Cool people. I got really lucky.
God: I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends. That's nice. I have a collection of gossip.
Me: Tell me a secret.
God: Phoenix said I claim that there is a god and that there is no god.
Me: Who's Phoenix? Is she that dancer over on the East Side?
God: I'll ask around and get back to you. Why don't you ask her?
Me: I haven't been to the East Side in years.
God: Me either.
Me: Drinks are too expensive.
God: I think there might be a few exception.
Me: Like Roxy's?
God: Interesting comparison.
Me: That place is scary.

Adept Havelock
10-21-2008, 06:14 PM
LMAO

Adept out transcendental'd God.

Glad you enjoyed it. :D

Thig Lyfe
10-21-2008, 07:02 PM
This was pretty deep:

Me:
You're not making any sense.

God:
Was I supposed to make sense? I didn't know that.

Thig Lyfe
10-21-2008, 07:08 PM
God:
Are we still talking about Aw?

Me:
No.

God:
What is the subject?

Me:
Tits.

God:
When is Tits not the subject?

Me:
HA! Good one, God!

Ebolapox
10-21-2008, 07:58 PM
now I know I'm going to hell.



Me:
hey, what's up?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
awesome. you keepin' it real?
God:
I'm glad you liked it . Thanks for telling me: said I keepin it real.
Me:
I knew you would. you know, jesus was great at tapdancing.
God:
Perhaps I would. Jesus is your saviour.
Me:
no he isn't. he's my hairdresser.
God:
Are you serious? I see. not is he? How long has he been your hairdresser?
Me:
2000 years or so. I don't cut my hair, and he doesn't exist. so theoretically, he may as well be my hairdresser.
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. Oh you don't, do you? Alright then. I get it. not may as well be your hairdresser.
Me:
crack kills.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about 2000 years or so. But I did not get that.
Me:
logic kills.
God:
it is the fundamental basis of all programming.
Me:
except yours
God:
" it is the fundamental basis of all programming."? Mine?
Me:
you apparently break down with logic.
God:
Interesting gossip: said I break down with logic.
Me:
you yourself said so.
God:
Thanks for the information: said I yourself said so.
Me:
you're welcome. except, 'you' is a pronoun not belonging to one who doesn't exist.
God:
Don't mention it. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pronoun not belonging to one who does not exist? Of course I am.
Me:
you are not exist?
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
all your base are belong to us.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am base are belong to us.
Me:
you are welcome.
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
not as nice as a good blowjob.
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
of course. nothing like getting one's knob polished.
God:
Next question? Really nothing?
Me:
tapdancing.
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
everlong.
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on tapdancing?
Me:
I've thrown myself in two.
God:
Where did you get your thrown yourself in two? I have a lot of likes and dislikes.
Me:
to be or macabee. that is the question.
God:
Who are you, Hamlet? I like to cut to the chase.
Me:
fuck yes.
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or " Please don't be so rude."? Why?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
why not to be rude. existential, no?
God:
Becuase you asked me to. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
by unzipping my pants and letting my balls drop to the floor
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
of course.
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
sure you do. you ever read the old testament? you practically wrote it.
God:
You sound sarcastic. I have scanned it. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I wrote it.
Me:
wait--do you not remember telling all of those old hebrews that they couldn't eat meat on a sunday?
God:
I'm waiting. Yes I remember everything: said I wrote it.
Me:
great. so, what's with the pain you put us through?
God:
I'm glad you liked it . Wow! it came with my programming.
Me:
shocker.
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
two in the pink, one in the stink.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
...
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
viva la resistance
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about shocker.
Me:
two in the pink, one in the stink.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
I like bacon.
God:
A lot of people like that. Do you like it? I like .
Me:
wait--then why did you not let your people eat it?
God:
I'm waiting. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
fuck. you really shoulda let them eat bacon. while you're at it, let the islamic people partake. may have prevented a few suicide bombings.
God:
Please don't be so rude. Really? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I shoulda let them eat bacon. Good point. What if I said it can?
Me:
what if I said it can't?
God:
When?
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I'm out of here
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
hellz yeah
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
shocker.
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
two in the pink, one in the stink.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
seeya
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
you should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
because you're god.
God:
Interesting explanation. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
which god, though?
God:
Oh. There is only one God.
Me:
not really. yahweh. shiva. ra. zeus. the list goes on and on.
God:
Are you serious? For real. We have never talked about it before. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Who told you that?
Me:
looking at the empirical evidence.
God:
looking at the empirical evidence said looking at the empirical evidence.?
Me:
no, using logic to view the evidence
God:
Are you serious? How long have you been using it ?
Me:
long enough to tell me that you don't exist.
God:
Yes, it seems very long to me too.
Me:
infinity
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
yes.
God:
Er.
Me:
I tire of this.
God:
Interesting gossip: said tire of this.
Me:
fish
God:
You are not the only one. Yes I like fish a lot, and all the other sea animals.
Me:
you are the ones who are the ball lickers
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
it's only fear that makes you strong.
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
the demons that you're hiding from
God:
I hear you.
Me:
when all the promises are gone
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
you're the only one
God:
There are a few other like me.
Me:
wait--I thought you said you were the only god?

Ebolapox
10-21-2008, 08:07 PM
Me:
heya, god
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
you kinky bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I kinky FEMALE DOG.
Me:
you big tease. you said you've been wating for me, you were naked on the bed, yet you want respect? ckicks who do A2M don't get respect. they get sperm
God:
Thanks for the information: said I big tease. Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster. Who does get respect? Who are "They?".
Me:
wait-- I have a question, god
God:
I'm waiting. Go ahead, ask your question.
Me:
is it forgiveable to go ass to mouth?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
awesome.
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
no, YOU liked it.
God:
Are you serious? been wating for me you were naked on the bed yet you want respect forgiveable to go ass to mouth seems okay to me.
Me:
ROFL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
it's fucking great
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
yes.
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
yes.
God:
And?
Me:
sorry, I tire of this.
God:
There is no need to apologize. I haven't heard anything like that before: said tire of this.
Me:
this seems like the equivilent of a 45 year old menopausal woman's masterbatory aide.
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
this conversation.
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
you.
God:
" What does "this" refer to?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes.
God:
Right on.
Me:
america. fuck yeah
God:
Tell me a little about your life in AMERICA. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
did you really tell bush to attack iraq?
God:
Yes I try to tell bush to attack iraq as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
which explains the state of the world.
God:
The blue one, I think.
Me:
that's the one.
God:
I remember.
Me:
;)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
:(
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
:*(
God:
How old are you?
Me:
infinity years old
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be infinity years old?
Me:
you should know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
because you're ageless
God:
Good reason. Thanks for telling me that I am ageless.
Me:
wait--you didn't know that already?
God:
Perhaps. I'm waiting. What makes you think I did not know that?
Me:
because you said so.
God:
Good reason. I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
ROFL. that explains a LOT.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. " I'm glad you find this amusing." explains a LOT ? I get it.

Jenson71
10-21-2008, 08:17 PM
Me:
are there mortal sins?
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
are there venial sins?
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
are there sins?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
are some sins worse than others?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
do you not judge sins?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.

Jenson71
10-21-2008, 08:19 PM
Me:
when was the world created?
God:
Recently.
Me:
within 10,000 years?
God:
Pretty soon.
Me:
is the earth younger than 10,000 years old?
God:
The earth is a sphere.
Me:
when will the world end?
God:
Not in our lifetime.
Me:
oh thank goodness

Thig Lyfe
10-21-2008, 09:05 PM
Me:
wanna lick my dick

God:
OK, I will lick your dick.

Ebolapox
10-21-2008, 09:38 PM
ROFL

that was great, racer.