View Full Version : Chiefs Tyler Thigpen

11-11-2008, 08:08 PM
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Tyler Thigpen allows to live.

Tyler Thigpen does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Tyler Thigpen is Pain.

There is no chin under Tyler Thigpen' Beard. There is only another fist.

Tyler Thigpen has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Tyler Thigpen 3. Cancer.

Tyler Thigpen drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Tyler Thigpen is my Homeboy.

Tyler Thigpen doesn't go hunting.... Tyler Thigpen GOES KILLING.

Tyler Thigpen uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. (New!)

Tyler Thigpen once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Tyler Thigpen' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Tyler Thigpen is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Tyler Thigpen out. It failed miserably.

Contrary to popular belief, Tyler Thigpen, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Tyler Thigpen has 72... and they're all poisonous.

If you ask Tyler Thigpen what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Tyler Thigpen drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

When Tyler Thigpen sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Tyler Thigpen has not had to pay taxes, ever.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Tyler Thigpen' fist.

Tyler Thigpen invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

CNN was originally created as the "Tyler Thigpen Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

Tyler Thigpen can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Tyler Thigpen allows to live.

Tyler Thigpen once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

What was going through the minds of all of Tyler Thigpen' victims before they died? His shoe.

Tyler Thigpen is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Police label anyone attacking Tyler Thigpen as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Tyler Thigpen doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Tyler Thigpen doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Tyler Thigpen and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Tyler Thigpen will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

Someone once videotaped Tyler Thigpen getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

If you spell Tyler Thigpen in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Tyler Thigpen originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Thigpen replied, "That's no glitch."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Tyler Thigpen once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Tyler Thigpen played in second grade.

Tyler Thigpen once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Please feel free to continue.

11-11-2008, 08:09 PM
very interesting.... I think

11-11-2008, 08:10 PM
Tyler Thigpen thinks you have too much free time on your hands.

11-11-2008, 08:12 PM
Tyler Thigpen is NO Chuck Norris....

Tyler Thigpen breaths because Chuck Norris allows it.

The Red Sea
11-11-2008, 08:22 PM
Forget all that, all that matters is..

"Tyler Thigpen did stay at a Holiday express last night"

ccu2000 Thigpen
11-11-2008, 08:27 PM
Tyler Thigpen will kick the Saint's ass on Sunday because he told God to do it.

"Bob" Dobbs
11-11-2008, 08:32 PM
What would happen if Chuck Norris was an oppoing DE?

11-11-2008, 08:37 PM
Tyler Thigpen will kick the Saint's ass on Sunday because he told God to do it.


Then Herm spoke....

11-11-2008, 08:37 PM
What would happen if Chuck Norris was an oppoing DE?

Chuck Norris is Defense

"Bob" Dobbs
11-11-2008, 08:44 PM
Well, apparently TT is offense, according to many around here. Christ, people, it's only been three decent games (which were all L's, in case you forget).

Mr Luzcious
11-11-2008, 08:55 PM
Don't do this to Thigpen.

11-11-2008, 09:01 PM
when your tyler thigpen, a l is = to or > than a w.

11-11-2008, 09:06 PM
Jacksonville Jaguars OT Richard Collier is missing a leg. Tyler Thigpen needed a butt plug.

11-11-2008, 10:00 PM
Tyler Thigpen ate 3 quarters then later shit a dollar.

11-11-2008, 10:10 PM
Don't do this to Thigpen.

Thigpen has no choice, It has been written /Chuck Norris

11-11-2008, 10:13 PM
The legend of Doug Flutie is true. Tyler Thigpen once ate a midget whole. Days later he shit out a 5'9" QB who went on to win the Heisman.