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Simply Red
12-03-2008, 01:42 PM
So me and this girl the next suite over (she also sells computer stuff) have talked business and a little personal over the last few mos. Is this fairly smooth finessing?



simplyred (2:58:48 PM): Hi there.
hottie (2:59:07 PM): hey Ryan,
hottie (2:59:16 PM): whats happening
simplyred (2:59:19 PM): hey Crystal.
simplyred (2:59:23 PM): nothing.
hottie (3:00:25 PM): sad
hottie (3:00:30 PM): slow at work?
simplyred (3:01:01 PM): Um, the deal volumes have decreased, but, believe it or not I had a kick a$$ Nov.
simplyred (3:01:29 PM): The average deal amount seems to be higher, as of late.
simplyred (3:01:46 PM): So was that you that I glanced over at around 1ish
simplyred (3:01:50 PM): or Maggie?
simplyred (3:01:52 PM): lol
simplyred (3:02:24 PM): I think it was Maggie, I've never seen this person before.
hottie (3:02:27 PM): oh yah
simplyred (3:02:28 PM): Whatever,
simplyred (3:02:30 PM): Yeah
hottie (3:02:31 PM): it was not me
hottie (3:02:42 PM): dont knwo who it was but i havent left yet today
simplyred (3:02:52 PM): we are having our company holiday deal on Friday
simplyred (3:03:00 PM): Party/dinner err... whatever...
simplyred (3:03:12 PM): @ Garrisons off 141
simplyred (3:03:19 PM): So I was thinking...
hottie (3:04:01 PM): oh yah Garrisons, havent been there in a long time
simplyred (3:06:44 PM): You should show up (covertly) Observe and if you like what you see, bust a FREAKING move. I'm breaking out the cuff-links for this one, girl.. This may be a once in a lifetime opportunity, I even got a fresh haircut @ John Pauls, especially fro you, girl. feel proud.
hottie (3:10:42 PM): hahah
hottie (3:10:51 PM): you are a character
simplyred (3:30:28 PM): What an opportunity it'd be, You could bring Maggie it'd be perfect, Steven (who's also avail.) will be there too. We both are above average looking to fairly hot and are self-sufficient w/ no children (no baggage) and both have our own places, stylish cars. It's a scenario you could only hope for in Buckhead.

tyton75
12-03-2008, 01:46 PM
you freaking talk alot.

Phobia
12-03-2008, 01:49 PM
Not smooth. You know how I know?

She stopped responding after the 3:30:28 entry. You creeped her out.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 01:51 PM
Well, in all fairness, she hasn't seen me, really. Maybe driving by, or something. So yeah, I guess I could've.

Iowanian
12-03-2008, 01:52 PM
too much.

not smooth, slippery, as in leisure suit larry's hair.

Don't try quite so hard.

Thig Lyfe
12-03-2008, 01:52 PM
She definitely wants your schlong, brah.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 01:53 PM
No, it didn't stop, she's a bit hesitent though (no question).

Chiefly, because she's not seen me. Perhaps I look like Carrot-top, she's thinking.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 01:53 PM
She definitely wants your schlong, brah.

ROFL

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 01:54 PM
too much.

not smooth, slippery, as in leisure suit larry's hair.

Don't try quite so hard.

Wait, that is the appeal (or so I think). Trying so hard that it is humerous. I don't know..... *shrug*

Gonzo
12-03-2008, 01:56 PM
http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/5388/haiguysze2.jpg

Phobia
12-03-2008, 01:56 PM
The haircut bit was dumb. You're a little fixated on that. Let that go.

Plus you just asked her on a date and asked her to ask her friend Maggie on behalf of Steven. I'm confused.

You worry about it to much. Put yourself out there and if it works great. If not then move onto the next one.

You don't need us to tell you if it's smooth. You'll know by her reaction.

Planetman
12-03-2008, 01:57 PM
simplyred (3:06:44 PM): You should show up (covertly) Observe and if you like what you see, bust a FREAKING move. I'm breaking out the cuff-links for this one, girl.. This may be a once in a lifetime opportunity, I even got a fresh haircut @ John Pauls, especially fro you, girl. feel proud.

You got an afro? Man, ... you are smooooooooooooth!

Deberg_1990
12-03-2008, 01:57 PM
It was alright....

Niner? Or an Eighter?

MagicHef
12-03-2008, 01:58 PM
She's never seen you before, and she works in the next suite over? How did you start talking to her? Also, at one point, you wrote 3 responses in 6 seconds.

Donger
12-03-2008, 01:59 PM
Why did you greet her twice?

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 02:00 PM
It was alright....

Niner? Or an Eighter?

Have you ever seen Brooke Hogan?

Deberg_1990
12-03-2008, 02:00 PM
Have you ever seen Brooke Hogan?


Get out....

No way shes even that hot.. :)

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 02:01 PM
She's never seen you before, and she works in the next suite over? How did you start talking to her? Also, at one point, you wrote 3 responses in 6 seconds.

Yes

Same business/industry/brokering, whatever...

that is how I-M is... (rapid fire)

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 02:01 PM
You got an afro? Man, ... you are smooooooooooooth!

ROFL:clap:

tyton75
12-03-2008, 02:03 PM
But do you have a sweet bike..

chicks dig bikes

:)

InChiefsHell
12-03-2008, 02:06 PM
I think you went a bit over the top...fine line between clever and stupid...you were walking it until the last entry...

...but don't listen to me, I've been married for 20 years and I can't get laid no matter what I say...

Donger
12-03-2008, 02:07 PM
The last entry was egregiously bad.

ClevelandBronco
12-03-2008, 02:08 PM
Dude.

MagicHef
12-03-2008, 02:08 PM
you freaking talk alot.

Yes.

In case you were wondering, because I'm sure you are, you wrote 82% of that conversation.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 02:12 PM
The last entry was egregiously bad.

It was totally sarcastic.

Bearcat
12-03-2008, 02:13 PM
The two times you said 'whatever' seem awkward and IMO shows you're nervous and/or trying too hard to sound easy-going. The line about showing up, cuff-links, etc; is okay, but the second one at 3:30 is over the top and sort of reeks of desperation to get a serious response from her. And it took you 3 and a half minutes between 'so I was thinking' and what you were thinking, which either means you were interrupted or you were spending way too much time perfecting what you were going to say (which kind of goes against the 'whatever' attitude).

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 02:14 PM
The two times you said 'whatever' seem awkward and IMO shows you're nervous and/or trying too hard to sound easy-going. The line about showing up, cuff-links, etc; is okay, but the second one at 3:30 is over the top and sort of reeks of desperation to get a serious response from her. And it took you 3 and a half minutes between 'so I was thinking' and what you were thinking, which either means you were interrupted or you were spending way too much time perfecting what you were going to say (which kind of goes against the 'whatever' attitude).

okay, noted.

Donger
12-03-2008, 02:14 PM
It was totally sarcastic.

Did/does she know that?

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 02:15 PM
Did/does she know that?

yeah, I'd metioned, I was joking later on.

Donger
12-03-2008, 02:16 PM
yeah, I'd metioned, I was joking later on.

I'm sure she found it hilarious.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 02:18 PM
I'm sure she found it hilarious.

Yep, she did actually. How'd you know that, CREEP?!!

ChiTown
12-03-2008, 02:19 PM
Yeah................no comment.

tyton75
12-03-2008, 02:20 PM
Next time you see her, trying pulling out the "Naked Man" and see if it actually works

Bearcat
12-03-2008, 02:23 PM
okay, noted.

Whatever.




see what I did there?

Otter
12-03-2008, 02:26 PM
4 out 5 stars

You oversold yourself a little on the last entry. I think something along the lines of "If you want to bring friend so you know someone else we can make it a foursome. I'm even breaking out clean socks and deodorant for this one".

I always like to size up their sense of humor early.

Hindsight is 20/20 however. Not bad.

PS - Donger, stop using words I have to look up.

Donger
12-03-2008, 02:28 PM
Yep, she did actually. How'd you know that, CREEP?!!

Because women are excellent salespeople.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 02:36 PM
Because women are excellent salespeople.

:)

Katipan
12-03-2008, 02:49 PM
Buckhead in Atlanta?

Love that place.

But that girl either doesn't know how to flirt or has as much passion for you as Donger does.

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 02:50 PM
You're trying too hard.

Thig Lyfe
12-03-2008, 02:51 PM
You're trying too hard.

Damn.

Iowanian
12-03-2008, 02:53 PM
You should just cut to the chase and tell her that you've got a mushroom big enough for a family of Smurfs to live under.

ChiTown
12-03-2008, 02:54 PM
I agree with Claythan, you are trying too hard. Just be yourself, ya know?

I'd start off like this.....

SR "What's up?"

Trixie "Nothing"

SR "Would you fancy a f uck?"

Trixie "WTF?"

SR "My cock is the size of an anaconda"

Trixie "Later.............."

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 02:54 PM
Damn.

As mystery would say it's time to "roll off."

Mile High Mania
12-03-2008, 02:55 PM
Claythan probably thinks it's killer material...

Donger
12-03-2008, 03:01 PM
Buckhead in Atlanta?

Love that place.

But that girl either doesn't know how to flirt or has as much passion for you as Donger does.

The best material is not utilizing material.

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 03:05 PM
The best material is not utilizing material.

No, there's definitely material that works.

Red, I took the liberty of posting your chat log on the online-game subforum over at theattractionforums.

http://www.theattractionforums.com/forum/online-game/84062-help-my-friend-out-heres-his-chat-log.html#post523251

Highly useful site.

MOhillbilly
12-03-2008, 03:05 PM
hottie (3:10:51 PM): you are a character



watch me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2Fo2xnhdLs

Donger
12-03-2008, 03:07 PM
No, there's definitely material that works.

Red, I took the liberty of posting your chat log on the online-game subforum over at theattractionforums.

http://www.theattractionforums.com/forum/online-game/84062-help-my-friend-out-heres-his-chat-log.html#post523251

Highly useful site.

Define "works."

Dave Lane
12-03-2008, 03:14 PM
Really really weak...

Seriously no skills at all.

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 03:18 PM
Define "works."

Helps you pick up chicks!

Donger
12-03-2008, 03:20 PM
Helps you pick up chicks!

Pick up chicks virtually or in that real world thing?

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 03:23 PM
Pick up chicks virtually or in that real world thing?

There's different game for almost any type of situation imaginable.

Deberg_1990
12-03-2008, 03:24 PM
Whatever Claythan thinks or says,


Just do the opposite. Should work like a champ!

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 03:28 PM
Whatever Claythan thinks or says,


Just do the opposite. Should work like a champ!

The last girl I asked out online accepted.

MOhillbilly
12-03-2008, 03:29 PM
The last girl I asked out online accepted.

was she blind?

Sure-Oz
12-03-2008, 03:34 PM
You sounded like claythan minus calling her sweetie, sugar pie, etc...

You talked too much as well and tried to be "too cool"...next time find her and ask her, if there is a next time...I assume you've never physically met her?

Donger
12-03-2008, 03:35 PM
The last girl I asked out online accepted.

Did you actually meet her in person?

Sure-Oz
12-03-2008, 03:35 PM
There's different game for almost any type of situation imaginable.

Have you gotten past the 1st date or even had a 1st date?

Phobia
12-03-2008, 03:40 PM
Have you gotten past the 1st date or even had a 1st date?

Of course not. You know how to tell when he finally starts getting some regular action? When he stops talking about it all the time.

NewChief
12-03-2008, 03:41 PM
This reminds me of that show The Pickup Artist? Has anyone ever seen it? I've watched an episode, and it's the biggest bunch of douchebags in the world trying to pick up women... and the douchebags I'm talking about are the supposed "experts" that are tutoring the apprentices, who are even bigger douchebags and getting transformed into full blown enemas by their supposed sensei of smooth

The way they talk about picking up people is just way too earnest and scientific. It's like a freaking manual or something.

That being said, I like your style SR. Self-deprecating, sarcastic, but somewhat charming. Maybe a little over the top, but it always allows you the "I was just fucking around" out if things don't work out.

Sure-Oz
12-03-2008, 03:43 PM
This reminds me of that show The Pickup Artist? Has anyone ever seen it? I've watched an episode, and it's the biggest bunch of douchebags in the world trying to pick up women... and the douchebags I'm talking about are the supposed "experts" that are tutoring the apprentices, who are even bigger douchebags and getting transformed into full blown enemas by their supposed sensei of smooth

The way they talk about picking up people is just way too earnest and scientific. It's like a freaking manual or something.

That being said, I like your style SR. Self-deprecating, sarcastic, but somewhat charming. Maybe a little over the top, but it always allows you the "I was just ****ing around" out if things don't work out.

Ignoring them worked for me:D Never put the pussy on the pedestal, be yourself, it's just a damn woman

Sure-Oz
12-03-2008, 03:44 PM
Of course not. You know how to tell when he finally starts getting some regular action? When he stops talking about it all the time.

That is true

NewChief
12-03-2008, 03:45 PM
As I often do, I had to google the pickup artist and the d-bag host of it out of morbid curiosity. Evidently he's some guy named "Mystery," and he has an entire method for getting women in the sack:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Method

It all reads pretty good, until you realize the guy looks like this:
http://blog.vh1.com/files/gallery/the-pick-up-artist-mystery-and-crew/mystery_292x438.jpg

Phobia
12-03-2008, 03:47 PM
Any chick sleeps with that d-bag isn't good enough for me, it's just that simple. Of course, there's really only one woman who is that good.

Thig Lyfe
12-03-2008, 03:47 PM
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tgsHV9FEJdU&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tgsHV9FEJdU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

NewChief
12-03-2008, 03:50 PM
Any chick sleeps with that d-bag isn't good enough for me, it's just that simple. Of course, there's really only one woman who is that good.

That's sort of my take as well. If a chick is attracted to that douchebag, she's probably a slut anyway.

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 03:51 PM
Did you actually meet her in person?

Yes. It was terrible. I think she was actually into me because she tried to initiate contact afterwards but I wasn't interested.

Delano
12-03-2008, 03:53 PM
Why don't you ask her out for lunch first? If you are in the next office suite, that would be easy. Drop the holiday party bomb at lunch.

You came off like Michael Scott a little bit.

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 03:53 PM
As I often do, I had to google the pickup artist and the d-bag host of it out of morbid curiosity. Evidently he's some guy named "Mystery," and he has an entire method for getting women in the sack:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Method

It all reads pretty good, until you realize the guy looks like this:
http://blog.vh1.com/files/gallery/the-pick-up-artist-mystery-and-crew/mystery_292x438.jpg

That's called peacocking.

It works.

He looks ridiculous. But it works.

Delano
12-03-2008, 03:53 PM
Yes. It was terrible. I think she was actually into me because she tried to initiate contact afterwards but I wasn't interested.

Dude, spill the beans. What happened? Did she have an odd odor? Dress poorly? Act retarted?

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 03:54 PM
Really really weak...

Seriously no skills at all.

It was designed to be funny, as was this thread. If I'm seriously shooting game fucking believe me it'll be in person.

wise up, dumbasses

TIA

-SR

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 03:55 PM
Dude, spill the beans. What happened? Did she have an odd odor? Dress poorly? Act retarted?

It was all chronicled in the "I have a date" thread.

Long story short, the photos she presented online were not an indicator of her true self.

NewChief
12-03-2008, 03:56 PM
That's called peacocking.

It works.

He looks ridiculous. But it works.

I will admit that I got tons and tons of play back in college when I had long hair and dressed like a dirtbag hippy, and I didn't just get play from hippy chicks. I always felt it was because I looked authentic and genuine, but maybe it was because I just looked different than the other people.

On second thought, it was probably just because I'm a damned hot male, and I would get play even if I went out dressed as Erkle.

ChiefsCountry
12-03-2008, 03:56 PM
Hey Clayton have you read the Game by Neil Strauss?

Sure-Oz
12-03-2008, 03:57 PM
Any chick sleeps with that d-bag isn't good enough for me, it's just that simple. Of course, there's really only one woman who is that good.

Agreed....

One time i got a ride from this chick and she was kindve easy and asked if i wanted to make out....

I said nah i'd rather eat my taco bell....

Awkward silence for a second, got out of the car and went into the party.:)

Iowanian
12-03-2008, 04:01 PM
Feel free to use this if you want sr...tell me how it goes.

I'm going to do a first for me and attempt to channel demonpenz for pickup lines online.

hmmmm mmmmm

"its like one time when me and snugga were chatting online with this hawt chic that looks like that one chic with the feathered hair who looked like a cheap version of Heather Locklear, on that episode of Walker Texas Ranger where Chuck Norris scissor kicks that one guy in the head. Anyway, I told this BJ and the Bearutiful honey that snugga's hangdown part was ribbed for her pleasure. I told her that his genital warts were so overgrown, that his dufloppy had more mushrooms on it than a Southeast Asian Smurf City.

We wuz in there like swimwear after that line."

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 04:02 PM
Feel free to use this if you want sr...tell me how it goes.

I'm going to do a first for me and attempt to channel demonpenz for pickup lines online.

hmmmm mmmmm

"its like one time when me and snugga were chatting online with this hawt chic that looks like that one chic with the feathered hair who looked like a cheap version of Heather Locklear, on that episode of Walker Texas Ranger where Chuck Norris scissor kicks that one guy in the head. Anyway, I told this BJ and the Bearutiful honey that snugga's hangdown part was ribbed for her pleasure. I told her that his genital warts were so overgrown, that his dufloppy had more mushrooms on it than a Southeast Asian Smurf City.

We wuz in there like swimwear after that line."



where'd you pluck that from? because that is ****ing hilarious!!!!!!!!!

Iowanian
12-03-2008, 04:05 PM
Its like DSB. I've been saving up an ubber load for a couple of weeks.


Sorry I had to rub that post out in your black panther party thread.

That original, is just for you.

Pestilence
12-03-2008, 04:06 PM
It was all chronicled in the "I have a date" thread.

Long story short, the photos she presented online were not an indicator of her true self.

I must have missed that shit.

EDIT: I went back and looked in the "I have a date" thread and didn't see it.

Sure-Oz
12-03-2008, 04:07 PM
I must have missed that shit.

EDIT: I went back and looked in the "I have a date" thread and didn't see it.

Yeah he had a date and i guess she was too fat for him, beggers cant be choosers

Pestilence
12-03-2008, 04:13 PM
Yeah he had a date and i guess she was too fat for him, beggers cant be choosers

What's too fat? 160? 180? 200?

He's a virgin....anything less than 200 and he should have been tapping it.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 04:15 PM
No, there's definitely material that works.

Red, I took the liberty of posting your chat log on the online-game subforum over at theattractionforums.

http://www.theattractionforums.com/forum/online-game/84062-help-my-friend-out-heres-his-chat-log.html#post523251

Highly useful site..

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 04:17 PM
Yeah he had a date and i guess she was too fat for him, beggers cant be choosers

Yes, we can.

Pestilence
12-03-2008, 04:21 PM
Yes, we can.

Post the pics of her. I missed that part of the thread.

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 04:23 PM
Post the pics of her. I missed that part of the thread.

Try reading the thread more carefully.

Pestilence
12-03-2008, 04:24 PM
Try reading the thread more carefully.

Fucking hell.....around what page was it on? 40's? 30's?

Deberg_1990
12-03-2008, 04:25 PM
Of course not. You know how to tell when he finally starts getting some regular action? When he stops talking about it all the time.

This

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 04:26 PM
Fucking hell.....around what page was it on? 40's? 30's?

How the fuck should I know?

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 04:26 PM
I think you two are discussing different threads.

Pestilence
12-03-2008, 04:26 PM
How the fuck should I know?

It's your fucking attention whore thread.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 04:27 PM
Oh and by the way, I'll fucking talk about whatever the fuck I want to talk about.

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 04:28 PM
It's your fucking attention whore thread.

So?

If you're so interested in what she looks like go dig in the thread.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 04:28 PM
I LOVE THIS COUNTRY.

Fairplay
12-03-2008, 04:31 PM
SR you are something else dude.

KChiefs1
12-03-2008, 04:32 PM
lame stuff...you should have done the Naked Man on her.

yeti
12-03-2008, 04:34 PM
lame stuff...you should have done the Naked Man on her.

2 out of 3 times!

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 04:35 PM
lame stuff...you should have done the Naked Man on her.

ORLY?

A) who are you?

B) Please, I'm all ears/eyes eagerly awaiting the game you shoot.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 04:40 PM
I feel really bad about questioning who you are, KChiefs1. Seriously, that is not my style at all. I think I'm Bi Polar. Can you hold me?

yeti
12-03-2008, 04:42 PM
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mOam78-Amkw&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mOam78-Amkw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

this should explain the naked man move

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 04:43 PM
Great movie, seriously...
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5ufN1RxFu-4&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5ufN1RxFu-4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

KChiefs1
12-03-2008, 04:49 PM
I feel really bad about questioning who you are, KChiefs1. Seriously, that is not my style at all. I think I'm Bi Polar. Can you hold me?

No problem...where do you want to meet at Garrison's.
I'll be the guy with the new haircut...:)

CoMoChief
12-03-2008, 04:54 PM
Jesus you have horrible game.

Katipan
12-03-2008, 05:19 PM
He didn't get the chick but he got the dude.

Sounds like great game to me.

Iowanian
12-03-2008, 05:21 PM
Me and Snugga's pure awesomeness is going to get lost in this thread.

rad
12-03-2008, 06:19 PM
"If your ass is a chinese restaurant, I'll have the Pu-Pu Platter"

DeezNutz
12-03-2008, 06:33 PM
My game:

DeezNutz: "Hello. I'm DeezNutz. What's your name?"
(response)
DeezNutz: "Nice to meet you ___. Insert question to get her to talk."

Listen, make witty replies. Rinse, repeat until panties drop.

If you're actually a good looking guy, the next step is to make her laugh. Accomplish this, and you have a great chance of getting your dick wet.

Sure-Oz
12-03-2008, 08:04 PM
My game:

DeezNutz: "Hello. I'm DeezNutz. What's your name?"
(response)
DeezNutz: "Nice to meet you ___. Insert question to get her to talk."

Listen, make witty replies. Rinse, repeat until panties drop.

If you're actually a good looking guy, the next step is to make her laugh. Accomplish this, and you have a great chance of getting your dick wet.

Not so hard is it?!

Katipan
12-03-2008, 08:07 PM
I don't talk about deez nutz until the second date.

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 08:09 PM
I don't talk about deez nutz until the second date.

Women enjoy ballspeak?

Katipan
12-03-2008, 08:19 PM
I doubt it, but I don't think I'm like most women.

I think balls are underrated and underused. Oh sure they're enjoyed for their baby making abilities, and the way they stop you from falling into fat girls but what about the asthetic beauty?

The way they wrinkle and pucker in the cold. The way they droop and sag when they're old. How they make your dick look all that much more impressive. How they stop farts from floating up the front of your pants. How the same balls can look so endearing when perched on your girlfriend's chin, and so hilarious when perched on your best-friend's forehead... How intimate a pain it is when they are crushed beneath a stilleto shoe or beneath a pile of junk in a purse. How the very essence and definition of a man is sandwiched between stink and splendor. And is bolted to the underside of trucks.

How truly fair and noble a body part it is. Just think... No matter how popular the guy is here on CP. No matter how much money, or fame, or good looks he possesses in real life... If you have bigger balls, you win.

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 08:22 PM
I have an undescended testicle. What do you think of that?

Count Zarth
12-03-2008, 08:24 PM
We have our first reply from an online PUA for Simply Red:

its hard to tell from this fragment. But he really shouldnt be qualifying himself like he does. And your right it does sound needy. A better way to go about this is to seed the idea first, then talk off topic for a sec, and then ask if she fancys tagging along.

'its gona be a great party, and me and steven (who's awesome btw), are gona roll up in a limo, so if the three of us get out, everyone will be like who the crap are these guys, it'll be haliarious'.... im just making it up as i go here but that would be better.

Dr. Facebook Fever
12-03-2008, 08:29 PM
So me and this girl the next suite over (she also sells computer stuff) have talked business and a little personal over the last few mos. Is this fairly smooth finessing?





Dude....

:spock:


Just get a hat like mine. You'll be golden.

Brock
12-03-2008, 08:35 PM
Brutal.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 08:43 PM
He didn't get the chick but he got the dude.

Sounds like great game to me.

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Simply Red
12-03-2008, 09:03 PM
My game:

DeezNutz: "Hello. I'm DeezNutz. What's your name?"
(response)
DeezNutz: "Nice to meet you ___. Insert question to get her to talk."

Listen, make witty replies. Rinse, repeat until panties drop.

If you're actually a good looking guy, the next step is to make her laugh. Accomplish this, and you have a great chance of getting your dick wet.

I'm pretty sure I'm not terrible looking. Just sayin'

KChiefsQT
12-03-2008, 09:07 PM
I'm confused... you just on the computer or have you two "officially" met?

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 09:10 PM
I'm confused... you just on the computer or have you two "officially" met?

We're in the same industry, our offices butt-up to one another. I've seen her from a distance, she's seen me from distance.

KChiefsQT
12-03-2008, 09:13 PM
Hmmm... sounds sketchy to me. You should just ask her if she wants to grab a drink after work one day. Inviting her to your holiday party is too much. I'd think you were a lost cause if you didn't have the balls to walk up to me and talk to me in person but you invite me to your holiday bash. I don't think you have much to lose @ this point.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 09:21 PM
Hmmm... sounds sketchy to me. You should just ask her if she wants to grab a drink after work one day. Inviting her to your holiday party is too much. I'd think you were a lost cause if you didn't have the balls to walk up to me and talk to me in person but you invite me to your holiday bash. I don't think you have much to lose @ this point.

I absolutely would, but it's really hard considering our industry and their business set up. They're much more corporately set in their ways, as a result, her becoming free is tough. I actually kind of didn't mean for this thread to be taken so seriously. But, yeah, I have absolutely no fear of asking a girl out. That's how I met that one person I haven't seen since April.

KChiefsQT
12-03-2008, 09:25 PM
I absolutely would, but it's really hard considering our industry and their business set up. They're much more corporately set in their ways, as a result, her becoming free is tough. I actually kind of didn't mean for this thread to be taken so seriously. But, yeah, I have absolutely no fear of asking a girl out. That's how I met that one person I haven't seen since April.

She can't be stuck in the office all day. "Bump" into her on her way out, if the industry's as anal as it sounds, the chick needs a drink... or 5. :)

Ohh and order Long Island Ice Teas for her, most girls can't handle those drinks, you up your chances of getting laid by a large margin!

Get some!!!!

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 09:27 PM
She can't be stuck in the office all day. "Bump" into her on her way out, if the industry's as anal as it sounds, the chick needs a drink... or 5. :)

Ohh and order Long Island Ice Teas for her, most girls can't handle those drinks, you up your chances of getting laid by a large margin!

Get some!!!!

Noted, bless your heart.

DeezNutz
12-03-2008, 09:29 PM
I'm pretty sure I'm not terrible looking. Just sayin'

Then you should follow the above formula.

1. "Hello, my name is SR."

No more dry balls.

DeezNutz
12-03-2008, 09:29 PM
Not so hard is it?!

Word.

Skip Towne
12-03-2008, 09:32 PM
Use Les Nessman's line: Hello, my name is Skip. I'm extremely wealthy.

Fairplay
12-03-2008, 09:37 PM
I'm pretty sure I'm not terrible looking. Just sayin'

Take advice from QT.
Or talk to other women you know. They are more then happy to help you out in a legitimate way. They know what works for most women.

And if the women is not interested she mentions real quickly that she has a boyfriend. It could be a lie, and lets just say it is. Something about what you are saying is turning her off.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 09:40 PM
Take advice from QT.
Or talk to other women you know. They are more then happy to help you out in a legitimate way. They know what works for most women.

And if the women is not interested she mentions real quickly that she has a boyfriend. It could be a lie, and lets just say it is. Something about what you are saying is turning her off.

That's fine, just cool it with the anti-semetic remarks, Fairplay.

stumppy
12-03-2008, 11:32 PM
I have an undescended testicle. What do you think of that?


I'm pretty sure everybody on the planet figured that out long before you did.

stumppy
12-03-2008, 11:47 PM
SR, you need to put forth the effort to meet her in person before you go any further.
And ask her out in person. Shoot for a short get together after work or on the weekend for the first date. The office party is NOT the place you want to have a first date. Especially with a woman you haven't spent one minute with in person. You never know, she might be just great with the chat and e-mails but you'll have no idea what she's really like until you spend some time with her.

Simply Red
12-03-2008, 11:49 PM
SR, you need to put forth the effort to meet her in person before you go any further.
And ask her out in person. Shoot for a short get together after work or on the weekend for the first date. The office party is NOT the place you want to have a first date. Especially with a woman you haven't spent one minute with in person. You never know, she might be just great with the chat and e-mails but you'll have no idea what she's really like until you spend some time with her.

yeah, I guess you're right.

Phobia
12-04-2008, 12:36 AM
SR, you need to put forth the effort to meet her in person before you go any further.
And ask her out in person. Shoot for a short get together after work or on the weekend for the first date. The office party is NOT the place you want to have a first date. Especially with a woman you haven't spent one minute with in person. You never know, she might be just great with the chat and e-mails but you'll have no idea what she's really like until you spend some time with her.

I would definitely take the advice of guy who let badgirl move in.

stumppy
12-04-2008, 12:58 AM
yeah, I guess you're right.

I was thinking about this. I always try to keep an open mind about everything and figured your approach might work just as well as anything. So I decided to borrow your schtick and take it out for a test drive.

I should be hearing back pretty soon from the lucky girl I shmoosed with your hit and miss. I'll let you know how it turns out.:D

stumppy
12-04-2008, 01:13 AM
I would definitely take the advice of guy who let badgirl move in.

You just can't let a guy move on can you? What do you do? Stumble across one of my posts and figure I haven't smacked stumppy down with the ole 'Dumb move stick' lately. Time to remind him.

I do have to say though the hard time you give me is nothing compared to the frustation I felt when trying to correct some of her .....uh........misgivings about things like hurricanes.




Not complaining, being reminded by friends about not so good decisions in the past have saved me from some of the same.:D

Phobia
12-04-2008, 01:21 AM
It's not about smacking you. It's about funny and it's definitely funny.

My first wife was 100,000x worse than badgirl will ever be, so I have very little room to talk.

stumppy
12-04-2008, 02:17 AM
I know what you mean. It is funny. Badgirl was/is a good gal. But man, some of the things she would come up with were, well I'll just say they helped cement the sterotype of Applachan Hillbillies.:D
Hopefully you'll never have to argue with someone who thinks the intensity of an oncoming hurricane is directly related to how deep it is in the ocean.
That was one of those 'you cannot be serious, you're just fugging with me aren't you' moments.

Keep firing all the zingers all you want. I grew up with three older brothers that made their mission to give me a hard time 24/7.:D

Consistent1
12-04-2008, 07:18 AM
I skipped 99% of this. I do want to offer Simply Gay a shot and a beer though. He can even bring his girl Demonpenz, and I will get her one too.

Simply Red
12-04-2008, 10:11 AM
I skipped 99% of this. I do want to offer Simply Gay a shot and a beer though. He can even bring his girl Demonpenz, and I will get her one too.

Come on over and get a hug, I appreciate your support.

Jilly
12-04-2008, 01:41 PM
should've stopped at breakin out the cufflinks, cuz that made me laugh and then after that I had to really read it to figure out if you were being serious or funny

Simply Red
12-04-2008, 02:10 PM
should've stopped at breakin out the cufflinks, cuz that made me laugh and then after that I had to really read it to figure out if you were being serious or funny

That's just the thing, I REALLY WAS JOKING...

Demonpenz
12-04-2008, 02:43 PM
I skipped 99% of this. I do want to offer Simply Gay a shot and a beer though. He can even bring his girl Demonpenz, and I will get her one too.

I don't know what this means, but I will take it that we are buds. IM me sometime

Simply Red
12-04-2008, 02:50 PM
I don't know what this means, but I will take it that we are buds. IM me sometime

.