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ROYC75
12-19-2008, 11:13 AM
THE WINTER BLONDE


As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again.All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...

"Hi, my name is Mark, it's winter in Pennsylvania and I'm driving the
SALT TRUCK!"

Gonzo
12-19-2008, 11:14 AM
Badump bump...crash! ROFL

blueballs
12-19-2008, 11:14 AM
how is this funny

MagicHef
12-19-2008, 11:18 AM
Soldier: Well, what did you think of the joke?
Boris: Oh, it was weak. I was never interested. Although the part of the trucker was played with gusto and verve and the girl had a delightful cameo role. A puckish satire of contemporary mores. A droll spoof aimed more at the heart than the head.

ROYC75
12-19-2008, 11:38 AM
how is this funny

ROFL You having a blonde moment ?

Demonpenz
12-19-2008, 11:40 AM
:clap:

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 02:46 PM
Soldier: Well, what did you think of the joke?
Boris: Oh, it was weak. I was never interested. Although the part of the trucker was played with gusto and verve and the girl had a delightful cameo role. A puckish satire of contemporary mores. A droll spoof aimed more at the heart than the head.


If they made this a movie, I would probably cast Heather Graham as the blonde, and probably Ed Harris as the truck driver.

MagicHef
12-19-2008, 03:10 PM
If they made this a movie, I would probably cast Heather Graham as the blonde, and probably Ed Harris as the truck driver.

Well, what are you waiting for?

JuicesFlowing
12-19-2008, 03:27 PM
Zing!

Dave Lane
12-19-2008, 03:31 PM
Thanks for dumping your inbox on the internet for the rest of us. Really old...

penguinz
12-19-2008, 03:33 PM
Thanks for dumping your inbox on the internet for the rest of us. Really old...And stupid.

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 03:41 PM
Well, what are you waiting for?

My people are having lunch with Heather Graham's people next week. Stay tuned.


I'm pondering titles now. I actually like "Winter Blonde", but I'm also pondering, "An Ice Encounter", "The Salt Also Rises", and "Bring Your Date To Look At Heather Graham". I'll probably focus group it.

MagicHef
12-19-2008, 04:16 PM
My people are having lunch with Heather Graham's people next week. Stay tuned.


I'm pondering titles now. I actually like "Winter Blonde", but I'm also pondering, "An Ice Encounter", "The Salt Also Rises", and "Bring Your Date To Look At Heather Graham". I'll probably focus group it.

Can you work up a storyboard by Monday?

Iowanian
12-19-2008, 04:23 PM
The following is a story from an old retired friend of mine: I had ambitions of finding a simple, uncomplicated part time job after retiring from my 'day job'. Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a little less sensitive. So after landing my newjob as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day...... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,unattractive,mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome toWal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?' The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, theyain'ttwins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid? So I replied, I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you forshoppingat Wal-Mart.' My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work

Sully
12-19-2008, 04:32 PM
My people are having lunch with Heather Graham's people next week. Stay tuned.


I'm pondering titles now. I actually like "Winter Blonde", but I'm also pondering, "An Ice Encounter", "The Salt Also Rises", and "Bring Your Date To Look At Heather Graham". I'll probably focus group it.

Can I be one of "your people?"

MagicHef
12-19-2008, 04:33 PM
Can you work up a storyboard by Monday?

Maybe outsource it to Demonpenz.

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 04:41 PM
Can you work up a storyboard by Monday?

I'm working on it.

My initial thinking is that the blonde is driving an AMC Gremlin. Now I know that the traditional thinking has her driving a fancy car, as a pure result of being good-looking. However, I'm taking a different approach. A key plot element is her inherently helpful nature, so I'm thinking of developing her character as a good-hearted blonde who is often taken advantage of. She's damaged by life, but not so damaged that she won't repeatedly try to help a stranger. Life beats her up, but hasn't beaten her down. Hers will be a feel-good character, a woman that the viewer sympathizes with even while fighting the urge to ridicule her like everyone else does.

We're still working on the truck driver.

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 04:43 PM
Maybe outsource it to Demonpenz.

Demonpenz, can you draw this up as I build the story? You're the best in the biz.

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 04:43 PM
Can I be one of "your people?"


Do you know people? You have to know people to be one of my people. And you have to be a people person. My people are people people who know people.

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 04:50 PM
Now, the trucker, the trucker is a different story.

A common movie theme is that he's escaping something. He's out on the road by himself because he's practicing the psychological practice of fugue, trying to physically flee internal troubles. That's overdone.

My thinking on this film is that he likes what he does. He's always wanted to be a trucker, and he loves the open road, and he's got an insatiable curiosity that travel satisfies. He has a goal of being the best trucker he can be. However, he lost his commercial license in a goofy encounter in Indianapolis where he got distracted by a pair of dice falling off his rear view mirror, and he flipped a semi off an overpass. He miraculously walked away unhurt and the semi miraculously missed all of the cars on the highway below. While he lost his license for that, the miracles of that day have convinced him more than ever that his destiny is to be a truck driver. So he's on the salt truck now as part of working his way back up.

Uh-oh. I need a continuity person here. Do semis have rear-view mirrors? And can you drive a salt truck without a commercial license? Where's my research team?

MagicHef
12-19-2008, 04:57 PM
Uh-oh. I need a continuity person here. Do semis have rear-view mirrors? And can you drive a salt truck without a commercial license? Where's my research team?

No, you can't.

You live in Denver, right? Do you remember when the truck carrying flour crashed during a rainstorm on one of the overpasses at the mousetrap? There was slimy wet flour all over the road, and it was dripping down onto the highway below it. That always seemed like something out of a movie. This movie should probably have something more ridiculous than that.

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 04:59 PM
No, you can't.

You live in Denver, right? Do you remember when the truck carrying flour crashed during a rainstorm on one of the overpasses at the mousetrap? There was slimy wet flour all over the road, and it was dripping down onto the highway below it. That always seemed like something out of a movie. This movie should probably have something more ridiculous than that.

Heck. I really liked the miracle angle.


Wait. How about this? He falsifies a commercial license to get the salt truck gig. Or maybe - oh, I like this - maybe he actually volunteers to drive the salt truck and takes over from a lazy salt truck driver who goes and drinks all night while this guy is driving the salt truck, because he simply can't live without being behind the wheel of a big rig.

I'll take the flour gig under consideration. I don't remember that wreck in real life, though.

blueballs
12-19-2008, 05:00 PM
getting your rocks salt off
and dumb ass blondes
is older than the model T

Baby Lee
12-19-2008, 05:00 PM
Now, the trucker, the trucker is a different story.

A common movie theme is that he's escaping something. He's out on the road by himself because he's practicing the psychological practice of fugue, trying to physically flee internal troubles. That's overdone.

My thinking on this film is that he likes what he does. He's always wanted to be a trucker, and he loves the open road, and he's got an insatiable curiosity that travel satisfies. He has a goal of being the best trucker he can be. However, he lost his commercial license in a goofy encounter in Indianapolis where he got distracted by a pair of dice falling off his rear view mirror, and he flipped a semi off an overpass. He miraculously walked away unhurt and the semi miraculously missed all of the cars on the highway below. While he lost his license for that, the miracles of that day have convinced him more than ever that his destiny is to be a truck driver. So he's on the salt truck now as part of working his way back up.

Uh-oh. I need a continuity person here. Do semis have rear-view mirrors? And can you drive a salt truck without a commercial license? Where's my research team?

The salt is his childhood sled.

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 05:00 PM
Oh, hey. Maybe the flour thing is what happened to him in Indianapolis. Yeah, that'll work.

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 05:01 PM
The salt is his childhood sled.

I like that. It's original and compelling.

MagicHef
12-19-2008, 05:03 PM
Heck. I really liked the miracle angle.


Wait. How about this? He falsifies a commercial license to get the salt truck gig. Or maybe - oh, I like this - maybe he actually volunteers to drive the salt truck and takes over from a lazy salt truck driver who goes and drinks all night while this guy is driving the salt truck, because he simply can't live without being behind the wheel of a big rig.

I'll take the flour gig under consideration. I don't remember that wreck in real life, though.

Sounds pretty good. It happened this summer, I think. I just remember hearing them describe it on the radio and not really being sure if I should believe it or not, but then seeing it on TV. Also, the whole sinkhole think in I-25. I guess this summer was a pretty ridiculous time for traffic in Denver.

Hydrae
12-19-2008, 05:07 PM
I am thinking the truck driver drives a salt truck because someone close to him died on an icy road and this is his way of helping ensure it doesn't happen to anyone else. This alleviates the problem with the license but still maintains the tragedy aspect. Heck let's marry the flour crash in here as part of what took his loved one (I originally was thinking parents but maybe his twin that was 2 years older?)