PDA

View Full Version : Life Poll: Dud of a Bombshell or Plain Jane Nympho


Amnorix
12-19-2008, 02:23 PM
I sometimes think about stupid polls like these, but usually never pull the trigger on posting them. But it's a boring Friday afternoon, and it's snowing like heck out there, so screw it.

You have two choices for a mate for life.

Choice A is a complete bombshell. If not for the fact that her front two teeth are very slightly spaced apart (a fact barely noticeable to people outside of Hollywood) and that her left earlobe hangs 0.4 centimeters lower than the right, she would be picture perfect in every way, and an obvious top model or movie star. If you need a reference, then she can be Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston or anyone else Brad Pitt has nailed, or whomever else you most desire.

Your friends fawn over her, and can't understand how you landed her. Other women stare at her in jealousy and at you with new-found respect and curiousity about the size of your package since it's obvious that no other physical features you have could have attracted such a stunning knockout.

She is great in nearly every way, and an obvious soul mate for you, with one exception. She's boring in bed. Very boring. She'll give it up when you like, but she's just not that interested in the whole thing. Ask, and ye shall receive, but usually with a small sigh and the known fact that she does it out of love for you rather than any real interest in the whole tedious affair.



Choice B is the plain jane librarian girl next door, but not quite. She could also definitely stand to lose a few pounds, there's no doubt about it. And what's a mediocre complexion when she's fun and frolicksome and great in nearly every way, and an obvious soul mate for you? On a looks scale, she's might have made average, but the gap between HER teeth is unfortunately very noticeable, whether you live in Hollywood or not.

She's also a complete animal in bed. Anything you want to do, she's happy to accomodate, and she'll improvise to move the plot along. She arranges the bedroom furniture with an eye towards enriching the diversity of positions and the games you like to play. She angles mirrors for more than just figuring out if every hair is in place. She'll take you downtown when you ARE downtown, or in a mall for that matter, if you ask. Always ready for you, she was a virgin before you hooked up, and you know she's utterly devoted to you and your love machine.

And, oh yes, either of the girls in question has a brother who is 6'4" and 300 lbs of MMA kickboxing muscle, and a sister who is known across the county as the meanest divorce attorney there ever was. Her father is a minister. Cheating might be an option, but it will mean your life or every dime you have (or both) plus your reputation as you have no doubt that your soon-to-be ex-father-in-law will call holy damnation on your soul from the pulpit every Sunday for a month of Sundays in front of the entire congregation.


So which will it be?

MIAdragon
12-19-2008, 02:24 PM
Choice B

Fat Elvis
12-19-2008, 02:26 PM
B; you're like 15, right?

edit: Just saw your user name; guess not, but you should know better on this poll.

Frazod
12-19-2008, 02:26 PM
As long as Choice B has a decent rack, I'm there. :thumb:

Amnorix
12-19-2008, 02:27 PM
B; you're like 15, right?

Do boys ever really grow up?

Like I said, I'm bored stupid, and I thought it might be amusing. Sorry if you're unamused.

Phobia
12-19-2008, 02:28 PM
I'm afraid I'll have to abstain and settle for what I got.

Baby Lee
12-19-2008, 02:28 PM
'Plain Jane' Pam from The Office, or 'Plain Jane' the McPoyle sister?

seclark
12-19-2008, 02:30 PM
i'll keep what i've got, thank you. 28 years and she's never once asked to smell my junk.
sec

Frazod
12-19-2008, 02:31 PM
I'm afraid I'll have to abstain and settle for what I got.

You suck. You're wife's hot as hell.

Demonpenz
12-19-2008, 02:32 PM
A gets old after awhile. I've dated a girl like A. I was seriously more excited to buy like somekind of new hot lube and watch some crazy porn and just jack off a couple times sad thing is I would ususally just imagine the girl who was boring being a straight up faaareak in bed

bogey
12-19-2008, 02:33 PM
A. I don't need her to make my fun for me. Just provide me with a hole and I'm fine.

OnTheWarpath58
12-19-2008, 02:40 PM
No thanks.

Very happy with who I have.

Amnorix
12-19-2008, 02:41 PM
No thanks.

Very happy with who I have.

ROFL

It's a hypoethetical for God's sake.

CoMoChief
12-19-2008, 02:42 PM
A. Hike that ass up in the air and I will go to town.

Donger
12-19-2008, 02:44 PM
A. No question about it.

OnTheWarpath58
12-19-2008, 02:46 PM
ROFL

It's a hypoethetical for God's sake.

Just stating the facts.

Since you want me to play your game, then B - but I'm spending a few bucks to get her teeth fixed. That's one thing that I cannot tolerate is a woman with fucked-up teeth.

:D

Adept Havelock
12-19-2008, 02:51 PM
B, with no hesitation.

Sure-Oz
12-19-2008, 02:55 PM
Just stating the facts.

Since you want me to play your game, then B - but I'm spending a few bucks to get her teeth fixed. That's one thing that I cannot tolerate is a woman with ****ed-up teeth.

:D
Speaking of teef don't you have a root canal coming your way:D

OnTheWarpath58
12-19-2008, 03:09 PM
Speaking of teef don't you have a root canal coming your way:D

Was scheduled for Monday, I've since canceled it.

Picking up the x-rays on Monday, and getting a 2nd opinion.

Sure-Oz
12-19-2008, 03:11 PM
Was scheduled for Monday, I've since canceled it.

Picking up the x-rays on Monday, and getting a 2nd opinion.

Good idea....goodluck with that, do you have pain?

OnTheWarpath58
12-19-2008, 03:11 PM
Good idea....goodluck with that, do you have pain?

None.

DeezNutz
12-19-2008, 03:15 PM
Just stating the facts.

Since you want me to play your game, then B - but I'm spending a few bucks to get her teeth fixed. That's one thing that I cannot tolerate is a woman with ****ed-up teeth.

:D

LJ that bitch. No teeth. No problem.

healthpellets
12-19-2008, 03:16 PM
A all day. And twice on Sundays.

Fairplay
12-19-2008, 03:20 PM
Plain Jane like that chick in Ugly Betty?

Give us a pic of what you mean as in 'B'.

Rausch
12-19-2008, 03:30 PM
Stay single and nail them both...

jidar
12-19-2008, 03:40 PM
A and B both at once son.

Why settle? Bunch of slack jawed f**g*ts around here. Nailin both at once will make you god damned sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me.

http://fuxoft.cz/tmp/blog/predator_ventura.jpg

Mr. Laz
12-19-2008, 03:47 PM
without a doubt "B"

you might as well not have sex if your doing it will a dead fish.

the poll could of been

A: marry a hot chick, but no sex EVAH!!

B: marry an average looking chick with tons of hot sex


B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 03:50 PM
Would B arrange threesomes and lesbian orgies, or is she adventurous only in a two-person situation? This greatly affects my answer.

alpha_omega
12-19-2008, 03:59 PM
B

DJ's left nut
12-19-2008, 04:01 PM
The question wasn't 'what would you like to bang on a Saturday' it was "what would you marry" and that's A without question.

It's not a sex question, it's a pride question and a straight up 'what i'd want to look at every day' question.

So with B you'd get some dynamite sex. You'd also have a pretty mediocre person to look at when you're just eating dinner or on the couch. All day, every day, you're looking at the same blah. Then there is absolutely a pride factor when you know your wife is gorgeous and she's yours. You don't get that with B, but get it in spades with A.

You're soul mates with both, both are fun, both are people you want to hang out with a lot...so wouldn't you want that person to be hot? If you get along that well, sex is a side benefit, so why should it be the determining factor in choosing the mate.

I just don't even see this as a close discussion.

jidar
12-19-2008, 04:06 PM
The question wasn't 'what would you like to bang on a Saturday' it was "what would you marry" and that's A without question.

It's not a sex question, it's a pride question and a straight up 'what i'd want to look at every day' question.

So with B you'd get some dynamite sex. You'd also have a pretty mediocre person to look at when you're just eating dinner or on the couch. All day, every day, you're looking at the same blah. Then there is absolutely a pride factor when you know your wife is gorgeous and she's yours. You don't get that with B, but get it in spades with A.

You're soul mates with both, both are fun, both are people you want to hang out with a lot...so wouldn't you want that person to be hot? If you get along that well, sex is a side benefit, so why should it be the determining factor in choosing the mate.

I just don't even see this as a close discussion.

This answer strikes me as very shallow.

Donger
12-19-2008, 04:08 PM
Why not chose A and convert her to B?

Buzz
12-19-2008, 04:14 PM
This answer strikes me as very shallow.

Are you married? I thought he nailed it...

vailpass
12-19-2008, 04:17 PM
Wife can't be ugly, bad for business.
Mistress can be a double-breasted mattress thrasher.

raybec 4
12-19-2008, 04:21 PM
Theres a 70-30 chance that you will end up divorced from which ever one you choose, so you can have a shot at the other one later.

el borracho
12-19-2008, 04:21 PM
Most likely B, depending on your definition of "plain Jane". I need to see some examples before I vote.

Dave Lane
12-19-2008, 04:24 PM
A I'll train her in the dark arts properly and there won't be any further issue on that front

El Jefe
12-19-2008, 04:26 PM
The question wasn't 'what would you like to bang on a Saturday' it was "what would you marry" and that's A without question.

It's not a sex question, it's a pride question and a straight up 'what i'd want to look at every day' question.

So with B you'd get some dynamite sex. You'd also have a pretty mediocre person to look at when you're just eating dinner or on the couch. All day, every day, you're looking at the same blah. Then there is absolutely a pride factor when you know your wife is gorgeous and she's yours. You don't get that with B, but get it in spades with A.

You're soul mates with both, both are fun, both are people you want to hang out with a lot...so wouldn't you want that person to be hot? If you get along that well, sex is a side benefit, so why should it be the determining factor in choosing the mate.

I just don't even see this as a close discussion.



I'm with you on this.

MichaelH
12-19-2008, 04:27 PM
Choice B without a doubt. I married a girl that defines girl B only she's pretty nice to look at as well.

Simply Red
12-19-2008, 04:27 PM
Wife can't be ugly, bad for business.
Mistress can be a double-breasted mattress thrasher.

That, precisely.

Buzz
12-19-2008, 04:31 PM
Choice B without a doubt. I married a girl that defines girl B only she's pretty nice to look at as well.


I married A and can't complain.

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 04:34 PM
This answer strikes me as very shallow.

I agree with DJ's Left Nut (though I feel a little weird writing that sentence). Essentially, both are soul mates and both have great personalities. The only two differences are that A is beautiful and makes you feel proud in public, even if the sex isn't great, while B is great in bed, but makes you feel a little embarrassed in terms of appearance.

Give me A any time. There's a whole lot more to life than sex, and it's kind of cool to look at your spouse when you're driving in the convertible near Big Sur and think, "Wow, how did I snag that babe?"

KCGridironBeast
12-19-2008, 04:36 PM
A

Marrying for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.

Ari Chi3fs
12-19-2008, 04:39 PM
Why not chose A and convert her to B?


yes. my wife wasn't all that adventurous at first, but now... all holes are in play on the golf course.

eazyb81
12-19-2008, 04:41 PM
The description of B sounds much worse than what I envision as a "plain jane."

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 04:43 PM
Why not chose A and convert her to B?

I can see doughnuts as an effective tool for the weight thing, but how would you widen that tooth gap?

Donger
12-19-2008, 04:46 PM
I can see doughnuts as an effective tool for the weight thing, but how would you widen that tooth gap?

Thousands of yards of Glide.

El Jefe
12-19-2008, 04:48 PM
I agree with DJ's Left Nut (though I feel a little weird writing that sentence). Essentially, both are soul mates and both have great personalities. The only two differences are that A is beautiful and makes you feel proud in public, even if the sex isn't great, while B is great in bed, but makes you feel a little embarrassed in terms of appearance.

Give me A any time. There's a whole lot more to life than sex, and it's kind of cool to look at your spouse when you're driving in the convertible near Big Sur and think, "Wow, how did I snag that babe?"


This.

jidar
12-19-2008, 05:09 PM
Are you married? I thought he nailed it...

yes. for over 10 years. Looks fade or get old, whereas most couples need a good sex life to stay together for long.

Dicky McElephant
12-19-2008, 05:12 PM
Can we get examples of a plain jane?

lazepoo
12-19-2008, 05:13 PM
I voted B, but I still think that you could eventually draw A out of her shell in the bedroom. If she had absolutely no interest in sex, though, that would really kill a relationship for me. Physical intimacy is a big deal.

Mr. Laz
12-19-2008, 06:02 PM
I voted B, but I still think that you could eventually draw A out of her shell in the bedroom. If she had absolutely no interest in sex, though, that would really kill a relationship for me. Physical intimacy is a big deal.
alright bish .... wazzup with the name, n00b?

btlook1
12-19-2008, 06:08 PM
Good example? I would probably go for B myself....I like sex! Besides maybe you could get her to swing the other way sometimes to and bring home a hot friend once in awhile.

Rain Man
12-19-2008, 06:11 PM
yes. for over 10 years. Looks fade or get old, whereas most couples need a good sex life to stay together for long.

Sex eventually fades too, though, and A will always be better looking than B.

RippedmyFlesh
12-19-2008, 06:16 PM
Why not chose A and convert her to B?
Best answer.
Even if you fail it would be more fun than trying to make B look hotter.

healthpellets
12-19-2008, 06:16 PM
Good example? I would probably go for B myself....I like sex! Besides maybe you could get her to swing the other way sometimes to and bring home a hot friend once in awhile.

this. i'd much rather take my hot ass wife to a work function, let every one gawk at her, then go home and screw her dead-fish-ass than have everyone ask how my wife "got lucky" in getting me. man, and if she really sucks at sex, so be it. i might be jerkin the gerkin while she's sleepin, but all the rest of my officemates are doing the same...while picturing my wife.

winner.

StcChief
12-19-2008, 06:19 PM
B. NFD. it's the only thing that with everything in play. A will always have you guessing about loyality......

RippedmyFlesh
12-19-2008, 06:20 PM
B. NFD. it's the only thing that with everything in play. A will always have you guessing about loyality......
B being a nymph would make me nervous in that regard

healthpellets
12-19-2008, 06:20 PM
B. NFD. it's the only thing that with everything in play. A will always have you guessing about loyality......

screw her. prenup. and you sound insecure.

MIAdragon
12-19-2008, 06:49 PM
Why not chose A and convert her to B?

This never ever happens.

BigChiefFan
12-19-2008, 06:50 PM
i might be jerkin the gerkin
winner.:D

DJ's left nut
12-19-2008, 07:49 PM
This answer strikes me as very shallow.

Why?

Both parties are your 'soul mates'. Both parties are fun to be around, etc...

The absolute sole distinction is that one is better in the sack than the other.

Taking the less attractive one b/c she'll let you go A to M is hardly seeing someone's inner beauty, might want to step off the ol' high horse for a minute.

Iowanian
12-19-2008, 09:14 PM
B is likely going to be double stuffed by the UPS guy and his apprentice while you're at deer camp.


I'll stick with the one I chose, who never has to smell my dick....though I might try to get her to taste it if I ever get my effing work done.

RJ
12-19-2008, 09:29 PM
I'll take A. I'm confident I can cure her of her problem. Give her to me on a Friday night, she'll be acting just like B by Sunday morning.

They all have it in them. :p

Amnorix
12-20-2008, 07:53 AM
Clarifications to what I had in mind after reading some responses, if it helps.

1. As I said, both are soul mates. You get along great. You both like the same things, like the same people. Whatever it is you like to do, she likes to do too.

2. Cheating isn't likely for her unless you become a really miserable partner. She's loyal and loves you truly and deeply, even in the case of A, where nobody quite understands why. Both were virgins before you and are dedicated to you only.

3. Cheating isn't much of an option for you either. See paragraph about the 300 lb. MMA brother and Minister father in the original post. :D

4. Assume A can't really be trained up too well. She's just not wired to be interested in sex. Assume B can't really be prettified too well.

I'm not going to post pictures of what I called Plain Jane, but someone nailed it when they said it's not quite that good, even. She's not a hideous troll, but she isn't quite average (just as the 10 in looks isn't even average in bed).

Simba
12-20-2008, 10:21 AM
Can we get examples of a plain jane?

83856

stevieray
12-20-2008, 11:23 AM
This never ever happens.

disagree..it takes time, patience and extreme dedication, but it is possible.

Molitoth
12-20-2008, 11:32 AM
Option B! You can make a girl better looking by getting her on a diet/exercise program, and get her some braces for that gap.


With option A your stuck with a high maintenance hot chick (you have to watch her all the time and swarm off dudes) and she happens to suck in bed.