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Dunit35
01-14-2009, 10:41 PM
My girlfriend has a family issue. I would love to jump in it and tell her mom off but I know better then to involve myself in this. She was quiet the partier a couple months before she met me and has cleaned her act up in large part because she knows I don't want to be with a drinker. She hasn't been drunk since September. Her adopted father likes me but her mom doesn't because "he was to shy and didn't move much at our x-mas" I started a thread a day earlier stating I hurt my back and each step I took cause severe pain.

My girlfriend was adopted at a young age (keep that in mind). She doesn't make much money and really doesn't make enough to pay all her bills. She works two jobs and is a full time student (she graduates in May with a Psychology major and a substance abuse minor). She is supposed to get $547a month in scholorship money from the adoption agency for her schooling. Her adopted mother has been taking that money and putting it into her savings for when she is done with school. So, my gf works two jobs and doesn't want help from her adopted mother because if she does her mom will hold that against her if she does something wrong. Her adopted mother will offer her money until she asks for it then will tell her no and that she can't manage her money and I'm distracting her.

Well, her adoption agency called today because they noticed her grades have been going down and wanted to know why. She told them she's been stressing for awhile because of her financial problems. The agency asked her what she is doing with the money they give her parents for her schooling. She told them her mother wouldnt give it to her until she was done with school. They got extremely pissed and told her to tell her parents if they didn't give them a bank withdrawl slip showing that she is getting her money they would cancel her scholorship (she is supposed to be getting it while she is in school). My gf then called her mother and told her and her mom went crazy on her and told her she wasn't going to do that and tomorrow is going to tell them my girlfriend has been spending all that money on alcohol. Which is a huge lie and really pisses me off. Her mom even accuses her of lying saying she isn't going to graduate in May and is making that up.

If my parents acted like that I would have no problem standing up for myself and telling them off. Of course my parents would never do that to me.

What say you on this situation?

Dunit35

allen_kcCard
01-14-2009, 10:45 PM
Um....isn't she over 18? Why is the mom controlling the cash?

blueballs
01-14-2009, 11:03 PM
well
bye

Buehler445
01-14-2009, 11:06 PM
How the fuck did the mom even get an adoption? Those adoption police are crazy.

Baconeater
01-14-2009, 11:09 PM
Find a new girlfriend. Well, unless she's really hot, in which case we need pics.

alanm
01-14-2009, 11:10 PM
I can tell you what happened. Natural Mom doesn't have your GF's money. She spent it.

blueballs
01-14-2009, 11:10 PM
Psychology major
and a substance abuse minor
and has a drinking problem

alanm
01-14-2009, 11:14 PM
Psychology major
and a substance abuse minor
and has a drinking problemNot exactly a good resume for a substance abuse counselor.

blueballs
01-14-2009, 11:15 PM
of course we've never been inside her
-you knew it could get crude

DeezNutz
01-14-2009, 11:17 PM
Why is this money going through the mother? Couldn't your girlfriend be putting it in the bank herself?

This sounds very screwy.

In short, parents are people. Sounds simple, but it is very tough for some to recognize that mom and dad are also Bob and Sue. And Bob and Sue might be assholes, and one might not want to be around assholes.

This can be a hard lesson, and one many people are never able to learn.

Fish
01-14-2009, 11:18 PM
Run away.

Dunit35
01-14-2009, 11:20 PM
Find a new girlfriend. Well, unless she's really hot, in which case we need pics.

She is very attractive and as soon as I get a pic of her I'll put it up here. She's 5'1 around 115 brown hair brown eyes, very nice and sized boobs.

Ari Chi3fs
01-14-2009, 11:21 PM
Put on your Nikes and RUN FORREST!!!

Dunit35
01-14-2009, 11:27 PM
Why is this money going through the mother? Couldn't your girlfriend be putting it in the bank herself?

This sounds very screwy.

In short, parents are people. Sounds simple, but it is very tough for some to recognize that mom and dad are also Bob and Sue. And Bob and Sue might be assholes, and one might not want to be around assholes.

This can be a hard lesson, and one many people are never able to learn.

I'd imagine her parents put it into their savings because they didn't believe she was ready to handle that much money since she was fresh out of high school.

I couldn't agree more with the parents are people paragraph. She really loves her adopted father and I guess she's afraid to tell her mom off because she thinks her adopted father will stop talking to her. I guess her parents don't even sleep in the same room together because he's really unhappy but doesn't want to go through another divorce or something. I guess one of his sons didn't want anything to do with said mother because of how crazy she was.

alanm
01-14-2009, 11:27 PM
She is very attractive and as soon as I get a pic of her I'll put it up here. She's 5'1 around 115 brown hair brown eyes, very nice and sized boobs.Suddenly it all becomes clear to me. ;)

Baconeater
01-14-2009, 11:30 PM
She sounds like a good candidate for the "4F" plan. But it you want a long term relationship with her, go into it knowing these issues will probably never go away.

And I think Alan nailed it, the money is very likely already gone, I hope she wasn't making any big plans for it. She probably might as well let them cancel the scholly since it isn't doing her any good.

DeezNutz
01-14-2009, 11:32 PM
I'd imagine her parents put it into their savings because they didn't believe she was ready to handle that much money since she was fresh out of high school.

I couldn't agree more with the parents are people paragraph. She really loves her adopted father and I guess she's afraid to tell her mom off because she thinks her adopted father will stop talking to her. I guess her parents don't even sleep in the same room together because he's really unhappy but doesn't want to go through another divorce or something. I guess one of his sons didn't want anything to do with said mother because of how crazy she was.

Sounds like a tough situation.

Tell her to get the money, and this will eliminate the amount of stress (i.e: bullshit) she'll have to deal with from her mother.

Sounds like the mom doesn't want to give up her increasingly more limited ability to control her daughter, IMO.

stumppy
01-14-2009, 11:33 PM
Sounds to me like you have a spineless naive gf.

Take a little advice from an old man. If you ever plan on getting married you need to marry this one. Running across a chick who is not only spineless but is spineless and gullible and has an education is the ball and chain trifecta.

Oh yea, what Bug said about the pics too.

DeezNutz
01-14-2009, 11:35 PM
Sounds to me like you have a spineless naive gf.

Take a little advice from an old man. If you ever plan on getting married you need to marry this one. Running across a chick who is not only spineless but is spineless and gullible and has an education is the ball and chain trifecta.

Oh yea, what Bug said about the pics too.

ROFL

You prefer "soft targets" who yet possess income potential, huh?

stumppy
01-14-2009, 11:39 PM
ROFL

You prefer "soft targets" who yet possess income potential, huh?

They gots to have a job.

Dunit35
01-14-2009, 11:43 PM
She sounds like a good candidate for the "4F" plan. But it you want a long term relationship with her, go into it knowing these issues will probably never go away.

And I think Alan nailed it, the money is very likely already gone, I hope she wasn't making any big plans for it. She probably might as well let them cancel the scholly since it isn't doing her any good.

What is the "4f" plan?

I'd think the money is spent but her mom is very rich and well educated.

DeezNutz
01-14-2009, 11:44 PM
They gots to have a job.

I hear you.

Pestilence
01-14-2009, 11:48 PM
Tell her to go talk to her Adoptive father and explain the problem to him. If he doesn't want to do anything then tell her to go talk to the adoption agency and tell them exactly what her adoptive mother said to her.

You also need to either decide to stick it out with her or move on.

Dunit35
01-14-2009, 11:52 PM
Tell her to go talk to her Adoptive father and explain the problem to him. If he doesn't want to do anything then tell her to go talk to the adoption agency and tell them exactly what her adoptive mother said to her.

You also need to either decide to stick it out with her or move on.

I plan on sticking with it. I really enjoy her company and she's a good person. Her mom tells her shes a baby and what not. I honestly never see her upset until her mom calls her on the phone. In the few months we've been together I haven't heard anything positive from her pathetic mothers mouth.

Saggysack
01-15-2009, 01:27 AM
Not exactly a good resume for a substance abuse counselor.

Not true. The best counselors are/or have been drunks and/or fiends.

DaneMcCloud
01-15-2009, 01:53 AM
Put on your shoes and run.

As fast as you can.

You're way too young to be dealing with this type of drama.

Chances are, if you hooked up and stayed with this girl, you'd be looking at 50 more years of this type of BS.

Run.

stumppy
01-15-2009, 02:19 AM
Put on your shoes and run.

As fast as you can.

You're way too young to be dealing with this type of drama.

Chances are, if you hooked up and stayed with this girl, you'd be looking at 50 more years of this type of BS.

Run.


No, no no.
I'm telling you, all it would take is a little 'stern' guidance on his part and adopted mom would pretty much be out of the picture except for the once a year visit during the holidays. And that stern guidance with this kind of chick will get a response of "OKAY honey. I'll get your bags packed for you after I run to the bank" to his statement of " Looks like me and the guys are gonna head back to Neveda for another fishing weekend. Probably gonna need some extra cash. Did you deposit your check yet ?"

:D

Mecca
01-15-2009, 02:21 AM
Dunit can you just not meet any normal people?

Jewish Rabbi
01-15-2009, 02:43 AM
Dude, there are plenty of hot girls out there who aren't fuckin psycho. Just saying.

Fritz88
01-15-2009, 04:24 AM
How about a sit down involving all parties?

ChiefJustice
01-15-2009, 04:49 AM
PIOLI !

Ooops.

I think finding other ways of funding her education might be the best way to solve this.

But,I agree with most on this thread.....run,while you can.

rad
01-15-2009, 05:32 AM
What is the "4f" plan?

I'd think the money is spent but her mom is very rich and well educated.

find
feel
fuck
forget

el borracho
01-15-2009, 09:20 AM
Sounds like the declining GPA directly coincides with being sober. I suggest you get her drunk and see if she'll do any of that dirty stuff you see on the intraweb.

Skip Towne
01-15-2009, 09:32 AM
Not exactly a good resume for a substance abuse counselor.

You wouldn't think so but even former homeless drug abusers often get hired for that. I guess because they have first hand experience.

tyton75
01-15-2009, 09:38 AM
Coming from someone who was dumb enough to marry an alcoholic...

Continue dating her if you want.. but those problems are HER problems.. not yours... and for gods sake..

DON"T MARRY HER!

good luck

kepp
01-15-2009, 09:43 AM
I can tell you what happened. Natural Mom doesn't have your GF's money. She spent it.

This.

And, even if she has spent it, she can't hide the proof that she has been depositing the $$. The bank will have records of that so any lies that the mom spouts can ultimately be proven wrong.

luv
01-15-2009, 09:45 AM
I'd imagine her parents put it into their savings because they didn't believe she was ready to handle that much money since she was fresh out of high school.

I couldn't agree more with the parents are people paragraph. She really loves her adopted father and I guess she's afraid to tell her mom off because she thinks her adopted father will stop talking to her. I guess her parents don't even sleep in the same room together because he's really unhappy but doesn't want to go through another divorce or something. I guess one of his sons didn't want anything to do with said mother because of how crazy she was.

$547/month is not a lot of money. That's certainly not enough to supplement the second job. Sounds like, even if she did have that money, she'd still need the second job.

About getting that money...you say she's close to graduating, so I'm guessing she's at least 21. The only way her mother should be getting this money, if she over 21 and going to school, is if she's living at home. I fail to see why the money is going to her mom.

Just don't go into this expecting to be able to solve her problems for her. If she can't handle her mother now, she will probably always have that problem. Even after she gets through this, it will likely be something else later. Tread lightly.

tyton75
01-15-2009, 09:45 AM
BTW.. if you are serious about this girl and wanna talk with someone who has been thru something like this before.. hit me on PM

Gonzo
01-15-2009, 09:48 AM
My girlfriend has a family issue. I would love to jump in it and tell her mom off but I know better then to involve myself in this. She was quiet the partier a couple months before she met me and has cleaned her act up in large part because she knows I don't want to be with a drinker. She hasn't been drunk since September. Her adopted father likes me but her mom doesn't because "he was to shy and didn't move much at our x-mas" I started a thread a day earlier stating I hurt my back and each step I took cause severe pain.

My girlfriend was adopted at a young age (keep that in mind). She doesn't make much money and really doesn't make enough to pay all her bills. She works two jobs and is a full time student (she graduates in May with a Psychology major and a substance abuse minor). She is supposed to get $547a month in scholorship money from the adoption agency for her schooling. Her adopted mother has been taking that money and putting it into her savings for when she is done with school. So, my gf works two jobs and doesn't want help from her adopted mother because if she does her mom will hold that against her if she does something wrong. Her adopted mother will offer her money until she asks for it then will tell her no and that she can't manage her money and I'm distracting her.

Well, her adoption agency called today because they noticed her grades have been going down and wanted to know why. She told them she's been stressing for awhile because of her financial problems. The agency asked her what she is doing with the money they give her parents for her schooling. She told them her mother wouldnt give it to her until she was done with school. They got extremely pissed and told her to tell her parents if they didn't give them a bank withdrawl slip showing that she is getting her money they would cancel her scholorship (she is supposed to be getting it while she is in school). My gf then called her mother and told her and her mom went crazy on her and told her she wasn't going to do that and tomorrow is going to tell them my girlfriend has been spending all that money on alcohol. Which is a huge lie and really pisses me off. Her mom even accuses her of lying saying she isn't going to graduate in May and is making that up.

If my parents acted like that I would have no problem standing up for myself and telling them off. Of course my parents would never do that to me.

What say you on this situation?

Dunit35



Wait....What?

Gonzo
01-15-2009, 09:54 AM
Oh, I got it now...


A little difficult to read. Were you on percocet when you wrote this? ROFL

Two quick words of advice here brah.

CP posters are douchebags when it comes to stuff like this so don't expect a real answer.

If you love her, great but don't get in the middle of this until she asks you to. Maybe you could talk to her Dad a bit about it but don't confront "Mommie Dearest." You will get a wire hanger upside the head.

BigRichard
01-15-2009, 10:23 AM
I can not help you without naked pictures of her.

Seriously, if the money is legally hers tell her to hire a lawyer.

Pestilence
01-15-2009, 10:28 AM
I plan on sticking with it. I really enjoy her company and she's a good person. Her mom tells her shes a baby and what not. I honestly never see her upset until her mom calls her on the phone. In the few months we've been together I haven't heard anything positive from her pathetic mothers mouth.

Then she needs to come to a decision about her life. She has two options as I see it.

1. She can fight her mother to try and get the money back.

2. She can say fuck it, forfeit any of the money that's left and move on with her life.


She at least needs to call and find out why her checks have been going to her mom's house if she doesn't live there and get that changed.