How to get rid of a telemarketer

[Demonpenz]

I got a telemarketer on the phone yesterday and I thought this was funny. You ask them if you can have their number so you can call them back at their house and bother them.

:ROFL:

[Gonzo]

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[Demonpenz]

I don't know what that is but I bet its a rip off of my idea :clap:

[bishop_74]

I don't know what that is but I bet its a rip off of my idea :clap:

You really crack yourself up don't you? :)

[Skip Towne]

Stab them in the face?

[Mr. Plow]

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I love Bob & Tom.

"If gay is your way, that's OK."

[Gonzo]

I love Bob & Tom.

"If gay is your way, that's OK."

They have their moments...I never really cared for their "canned laughter" all that much though.

[Mr. Plow]

They have their moments...I never really cared for their "canned laughter" all that much though.

I just like the different comedians they have on. Plus, gives me something to listen to at work.

[Iowanian]

Why would you bother these people? I mean, they're just starving artists, trying to make enough macaroni cash to be able to afford new guitar strings.

You making fun of these poor, working folks does nothing but remind them that their life sucks.

[alpha_omega]

Or....you could just hang up, but i guess there would be no fun in that.

[jynni]

I got a telemarketer on the phone yesterday and I thought this was funny. You ask them if you can have their number so you can call them back at their house and bother them.

:ROFL:

Years ago, I worked as a telemarketer. It cracked me up when someone would use that line as if it were so clever no one had ever thought of it before. I probably heard it at least twenty times a day. My response "Oh yes, our number is 1-800-XXXXXX, please call us anytime! We're open twenty four hours a day, seven days a week!".

The easiest way to get rid of a telemarketer?

Hang up the phone.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Easiest way: Put your number on the No Call list. It's not that hard.

["Bob" Dobbs]

I don't know what that is but I bet its a rip off of my idea :clap:Sorry dude, but it's not even your idea. I saw the episode of Seinfeld the other day where HE did it.

[Demonpenz]

Sorry dude, but it's not even your idea. I saw the episode of Seinfeld the other day where HE did it.

I doubt it was as funny as when I did it :clap:

[Demonpenz]

The funniest thing was the guy on the other end didn't know what to do, he was like sorry guy I can't give out my home phone and I was like well now you know what it feels like to be bothered LOL looks like he will think twice about calling me again

[Fire Me Boy!]

The funniest thing was the guy on the other end didn't know what to do, he was like sorry guy I can't give out my home phone and I was like well now you know what it feels like to be bothered LOL looks like he will think twice about calling me again

I'm sure his life ambition is to be a telemarketer. I'm really sure he'll think twice before the auto-dialer calls you again. :shake:

[The Franchise]

The funniest thing was the guy on the other end didn't know what to do, he was like sorry guy I can't give out my home phone and I was like well now you know what it feels like to be bothered LOL looks like he will think twice about calling me again

Or he could just repeatedly call you back at different times. That's what I used to do when I was a telemarketer.

If a person was an asshole to me then I would set it so the dialer would call them back another time instead of taking them out of the list.

[Demonpenz]

I'm sure his life ambition is to be a telemarketer. I'm really sure he'll think twice before the auto-dialer calls you again. :shake:

???? :clap: I am sure he talked to his manager or something to see if what they are doing is ethical because he sounded scared

[Demonpenz]

I wrote it out and I am going to email it to some comedy stations to see if they will take the idea and run with it :clap:

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

I had one call me 2 nights ago to try and sell me repair coverage on my minivan that has 87,000 miles. They said I could have coverage for 10 more years and 100,000 miles.
I said man, this sounds great, How Much ?

They said $2000 something.

I said well, I cant pay that much and right now I don't have a job.

They said , Do you have a credit card. YES. Well you can pay $350 now and make monthly payments and by then surely yuo'll be employed.

I said GREAT, lets do it. But first of all what does it cover? They proceeded to read me a list pistons,piston rings, rocker arm, blah, blah. It took him three minutes. When he got done I told him I had the phone to the ear I can't hear from very good because I shoot firearms all day long , so I need to swich sides and please repeat.

After he did that I said OK, sounds good.

Could you please give me your credit card nmber. Yes. I pulled out my credit card and said its a MC . What is the number sir . So I read him the number backwards. Sir , that number is invalid. Would you read it back to me again. So I read it backwards again but changed one number. Oh, I see ,i had a number wrong. Let me run it.
Sir , that number is invalid. Would you read it again. So I read it again , Backwards and changed one number again.
He said sir , you keep changing the number. I said, I don't have my glasses on.
Sir, would you be able to get your glasses.
I don't know where their at. Lets just try again.
I'm guxzzling a 12 pack during this whole thing!
So I give him a ****ed up number 2 more times and he says , SIR, could you please find your glasses.
I said OK hang on cause I'm not sure where I left them. He siad Ok. I said hang on now I'll be right back.
So I grabbed two more beers and went out back and watered the grass and played with the dog for about 30 minutes. I figured he had long hung up.
Went back in and said HELLO. YES, did you find your glasses.

I sais yes the damn thing were in my kids treehouse and covered with bird shit. Thats what took me so long as I had to run them through the dishwasher.ROFL

so I gave him two more fucked up credit card numbers and he finally gave up.

I had that dipshit on the phone for 1 hour 20 minutes!:D

[Bearcat]

I wrote it out and I am going to email it to some comedy stations to see if they will take the idea and run with it :clap:

Johnny Dare would be all over it.

That is, if he's still on the air. :shrug:

[Bearcat]

I had one call me 2 nights ago to try and sell me repair coverage on my minivan that has 87,000 miles. They said I could have coverage for 10 more years and 100,000 miles.
I said man, this sounds great, How Much ?

They said $2000 something.

I said well, I cant pay that much and right now I don't have a job.

They said , Do you have a credit card. YES. Well you can pay $350 now and make monthly payments and by then surely yuo'll be employed.

I said GREAT, lets do it. But first of all what does it cover? They proceeded to read me a list pistons,piston rings, rocker arm, blah, blah. It took him three minutes. When he got done I told him I had the phone to the ear I can't hear from very good because I shoot firearms all day long , so I need to swich sides and please repeat.

After he did that I said OK, sounds good.

Could you please give me your credit card nmber. Yes. I pulled out my credit card and said its a MC . What is the number sir . So I read him the number backwards. Sir , that number is invalid. Would you read it back to me again. So I read it backwards again but changed one number. Oh, I see ,i had a number wrong. Let me run it.
Sir , that number is invalid. Would you read it again. So I read it again , Backwards and changed one number again.
He said sir , you keep changing the number. I said, I don't have my glasses on.
Sir, would you be able to get your glasses.
I don't know where their at. Lets just try again.
I'm guxzzling a 12 pack during this whole thing!
So I give him a ****ed up number 2 more times and he says , SIR, could you please find your glasses.
I said OK hang on cause I'm not sure where I left them. He siad Ok. I said hang on now I'll be right back.
So I grabbed two more beers and went out back and watered the grass and played with the dog for about 30 minutes. I figured he had long hung up.
Went back in and said HELLO. YES, did you find your glasses.

I sais yes the damn thing were in my kids treehouse and covered with bird shit. Thats what took me so long as I had to run them through the dishwasher.ROFL

so I gave him two more ****ed up credit card numbers and he finally gave up.

I had that dipshit on the phone for 1 hour 20 minutes!:D

I need to get myself a landline.

[Demonpenz]

I had one call me 2 nights ago to try and sell me repair coverage on my minivan that has 87,000 miles. They said I could have coverage for 10 more years and 100,000 miles.
I said man, this sounds great, How Much ?

They said $2000 something.

I said well, I cant pay that much and right now I don't have a job.

They said , Do you have a credit card. YES. Well you can pay $350 now and make monthly payments and by then surely yuo'll be employed.

I said GREAT, lets do it. But first of all what does it cover? They proceeded to read me a list pistons,piston rings, rocker arm, blah, blah. It took him three minutes. When he got done I told him I had the phone to the ear I can't hear from very good because I shoot firearms all day long , so I need to swich sides and please repeat.

After he did that I said OK, sounds good.

Could you please give me your credit card nmber. Yes. I pulled out my credit card and said its a MC . What is the number sir . So I read him the number backwards. Sir , that number is invalid. Would you read it back to me again. So I read it backwards again but changed one number. Oh, I see ,i had a number wrong. Let me run it.
Sir , that number is invalid. Would you read it again. So I read it again , Backwards and changed one number again.
He said sir , you keep changing the number. I said, I don't have my glasses on.
Sir, would you be able to get your glasses.
I don't know where their at. Lets just try again.
I'm guxzzling a 12 pack during this whole thing!
So I give him a ****ed up number 2 more times and he says , SIR, could you please find your glasses.
I said OK hang on cause I'm not sure where I left them. He siad Ok. I said hang on now I'll be right back.
So I grabbed two more beers and went out back and watered the grass and played with the dog for about 30 minutes. I figured he had long hung up.
Went back in and said HELLO. YES, did you find your glasses.

I sais yes the damn thing were in my kids treehouse and covered with bird shit. Thats what took me so long as I had to run them through the dishwasher.ROFL

so I gave him two more ****ed up credit card numbers and he finally gave up.

I had that dipshit on the phone for 1 hour 20 minutes!:D

:clap: fugger had it coming! BOOM

[SLAG]

this one is my fav.

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[Deberg_1990]

The funniest thing was the guy on the other end didn't know what to do, he was like sorry guy I can't give out my home phone and I was like well now you know what it feels like to be bothered LOL looks like he will think twice about calling me again


heh, they probably take an 8 hour seminar on how to deal with guys exactly like you. :)

[Demonpenz]

At one point I thought the guy was going to cry, so i felt bad, but then I said he is the one that interupted what I was doing fugg that fugger. I think he was in awe of what I had to say because it was so fast. I have always been able to think on my feet :Clap:

[crazycoffey]

I always say, "hold on let me get him/her for you" and set the phone down, I don't come back until it starts to make the off the hook beeping sounds.....

[Demonpenz]

:clap: showed them!

[byetimmy]

I had one call me 2 nights ago to try and sell me repair coverage on my minivan that has 87,000 miles. They said I could have coverage for 10 more years and 100,000 miles.
I said man, this sounds great, How Much ?

They said $2000 something.

I said well, I cant pay that much and right now I don't have a job.

They said , Do you have a credit card. YES. Well you can pay $350 now and make monthly payments and by then surely yuo'll be employed.

I said GREAT, lets do it. But first of all what does it cover? They proceeded to read me a list pistons,piston rings, rocker arm, blah, blah. It took him three minutes. When he got done I told him I had the phone to the ear I can't hear from very good because I shoot firearms all day long , so I need to swich sides and please repeat.

After he did that I said OK, sounds good.

Could you please give me your credit card nmber. Yes. I pulled out my credit card and said its a MC . What is the number sir . So I read him the number backwards. Sir , that number is invalid. Would you read it back to me again. So I read it backwards again but changed one number. Oh, I see ,i had a number wrong. Let me run it.
Sir , that number is invalid. Would you read it again. So I read it again , Backwards and changed one number again.
He said sir , you keep changing the number. I said, I don't have my glasses on.
Sir, would you be able to get your glasses.
I don't know where their at. Lets just try again.
I'm guxzzling a 12 pack during this whole thing!
So I give him a ****ed up number 2 more times and he says , SIR, could you please find your glasses.
I said OK hang on cause I'm not sure where I left them. He siad Ok. I said hang on now I'll be right back.
So I grabbed two more beers and went out back and watered the grass and played with the dog for about 30 minutes. I figured he had long hung up.
Went back in and said HELLO. YES, did you find your glasses.

I sais yes the damn thing were in my kids treehouse and covered with bird shit. Thats what took me so long as I had to run them through the dishwasher.ROFL

so I gave him two more ****ed up credit card numbers and he finally gave up.

I had that dipshit on the phone for 1 hour 20 minutes!:D

Before I got myself on the do-not-call list, if possible I would just keep doing what I was doing while on the phone. If I'm watching TV or reading the paper or surfing the web, so it's no big deal for me to deal with a phone headset. I would allow them to go through their whole pitch in great detail. I was polite and would throw in the occasional "hmmm" and "ok" and "that's interesting". You can keep these people on the line for a while doing that.

Once I got to the point where I need to share information, I just respond "No thanks". Up until this point, they think they've got a live one. They're on easy street and well on their way to making a commission. I've just crushed that with 2 simple words. This is the zen moment of the call. There's usually a 1-2 second pause as I can almost hear the wind fall out of their sails. It's a beautiful thing.

After the uncomfortable pause, they will shift gears into "hard sell" mode trying to get me to change my mind. I would revert back to my original script of "ok" and "no kidding" remarks until we get to the next point where they ask me for my information and I'll again tell them "No thanks". This cycle will go on until they realize that I was NEVER EVER E-V-E-R GOING TO BUY ANYTHING OVER THE PHONE FROM ONE OF THESE PEOPLE EVEN IF IT'S SOMETHING I WOULD LIKE OR USE.

You see, the only way to get back at them is to waste their time MORE than they're wasting my time. I never yell at them or anything. I'm sure they'd prefer if I just hung up so they could move onto their next victi...er... I mean "lead", but I'll be damned if they're going to interrupt MY day without paying a price.

[trndobrd]

I got a telemarketer on the phone yesterday and I thought this was funny. You ask them if you can have their number so you can call them back at their house and bother them.

:ROFL:


You need to learn to keep things topical:

Magazine or newspaper sales:

"Well, I went to work at the mine when I was eleven and never learned to read so good. Too late to start learnin' now."


Fraternal Order of Police:

Me: "The war on drugs is a war of oppression against the American people. I already paid my taxes, why would I want to support our oppressors even more?"

Wife: "I would like to know why the FOP twice issued statements against the passage of concealed carry in Kansas. Don't the police think that I, as a law abiding woman, have the right to defend myself and my family?"


Travel discount plans. Would you be interested in a free trip to Branson?:

"My wife doesn't get out much anymore.......No, we won't be wanting to travel at a later date. They really didn't give her that long."


PrePaid legal. Don't you think legal fees are too high?:

"No they are too low. But your low rent lawyers are fun to smack around in the courtroom."


Credit card offers:

"Usury is a sin and Jesus is going to cast all the money changers into the firey pits of hell when he returns just like he cast them out of the Temple. It's not too late to save yourself from eternal damnation. Lets pray together, right here on the phone, to save your soul from eternal torment."

[Iowanian]

I think Demon just took a job as a telemarketer referred by Mecca, and is have some sport with us.

[Iowanian]

Next time I get one, I'm going to be excited....I'll pretend I'm trying to sell them a ShamWOW.

[Demonpenz]

I would never be a telemarkater they are thieves in sheeps clothing. I am happy at blockbuster being the shiftmanager, free rentals on gamecube games ftw!

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Got another one last night, only kept him on for an hour cause I ran out of beer and had to leave. I told him to hang on I needed to grab a drink. When I came back from the store ,nothing but a busy signal.

[Demonpenz]

:Clap: teach those fuggers a lesson!

[tmax63]

It's always interesting to tell you don't need what they're hawking but if they have something guarranteed to get out blood stains from carpeting and furniture that you'd be real interested right now...

[Demonpenz]

It's always interesting to tell you don't need what they're hawking but if they have something guarranteed to get out blood stains from carpeting and furniture that you'd be real interested right now...

!clap!

[WhitiE]

im amazed some of you cant detect deomnpenz's sarcasm....

[Stewie]

Sorry dude, but it's not even your idea. I saw the episode of Seinfeld the other day where HE did it.

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[bringbackmarty]

I always say, "hey its not a good time right now, we are in the middle of my child's home birth." Then I drop the phone on the floor, and my wife starts moaning and screaming in pretend agony, and I'm saying things like, "it's okay honey, just a little poop, I see the baby's head, and push, push, almost there!"