View Full Version : Poop Claythan?

03-17-2009, 12:53 PM

These Might Be The Desk Decorations Youíre Looking For

Oh, Star Wars bobbleheads. I couldnít have made it through all the difficulties of the last year without you.

First, it was losing Jenna in the accident. Iíll always regret that our last conversation was an argument. She told me to get rid of my Star Wars bobblehead collection. She said you guys creeped her out and I should sell you on eBay. Donít hold it against her, but she never wanted me to buy you in the first place Ė especially both sets of six, so Iíd have all 12 of you. Of course, I stuck up for you. We both said things we didnít mean. Jenna stormed out and drove away. Thatís when it happened. She didnít get half a mile before her brakes went out. Your cheerful bobbling alien heads were my only consolation during those dark, dark days.

Then I lost my job. You remember: Iíd been working all those hours getting that presentation ready. If Iíd aced it and landed that account, I probably wouldíve been promoted to head of marketing for the Midwestern division. That job would have left me even less free time to spend with my bobbleheads, but how could I pass up an opportunity like that? Well, you know how. By oversleeping that morning and missing the presentation completely. I still donít get it. Itís almost as if someone had slipped me some kind of sedative the night before. And Iíve never seen an electrical cord spontaneously cut itself in half like the one on my alarm clock. Talk about bad luck. Of course, I got fired and had to move in with my Mom.

Things got even weirder after that. Iíll admit, it annoyed me that Mom was always on my case about how I needed to grow up and get rid of my ďtoysĒ (thatís what she called my Star Wars collectibles). But I never wanted anything so terrible to happen to her. Iíll never forget coming home and finding her on the floor of my room. That faraway stare in her eyes. That look of sheer horror on her face. That froth coming from her nose and mouth. Her hair had turned completely white and she couldnít stop shaking. She hasnít spoken since. The doctors still donít know what happened. Once again, I sought comfort in you, my plastic soul mates.

And now, this latest incident. I just canít fathom what kind of sick mind would break into the house and destroy my Star Trek collection in such disturbing ways. Bad enough that they defaced my Enterprise model with those swastikas and cartoon penises. But the action-figure dismemberment was even worse. And the smell coming from the lunchbox Ė I couldnít bring myself to open it. Whoever it was, at least that psycho had the mercy not to mess with my Star Wars bobbleheads. Iím just thankful that I have you guys to help me through this scary world. There are some real monsters out there, you know?

March 17, 2009 (http://www.woot.com/)

03-17-2009, 01:32 PM
wtf... of all the possible reposts! lol!

03-17-2009, 01:44 PM
If woot comes out at Midnight your time, dont you think somebody has told him by now?

Hammock Parties
03-17-2009, 03:16 PM