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Direckshun
03-26-2009, 10:38 PM
Hilarious bar conversation I had last night.

Rep to anybody who's willing to tell of a tale where they were older than 16 and their mother saw their penis.

Rep really to anybody to answers, I guess.

I will sell all my casino cash to the first guy with a story where it happened in his 20s.

I'd sell my soul, too, to get this night over with, but I already sold it for Mizzou's win.

DeezNutz
03-26-2009, 10:39 PM
Is this what influenced your political perspective?

It's ok. Tell DeezNutz all about it. We will make it a top 10 Countdown.

Direckshun
03-26-2009, 10:41 PM
Is this what influenced your political perspective?

It's ok. Tell DeezNutz all about it. We will make it a top 10 Countdown.

Thus begins the pile-on.

pr_capone
03-26-2009, 10:42 PM
I was 16 and having a hard time getting out of bed for school one morning.

Mom, in all her wisdom, thought it would be a good idea to pull my covers off to get me up and out of bed.

Mistake.

I had taken to sleeping in the nude about a month prior to that.

I guess she was trying to make things better when she said "well, at least you are as big as your dad".

DeezNutz
03-26-2009, 10:43 PM
No worries. There has to be at least a handful of Costanza impersonators around here.

"In a seeecond, MAAAA!!!!"

Thig Lyfe
03-26-2009, 10:43 PM
I can tell you the last time YOUR mother saw my penis.

About 10 minutes ago.

AW SNAP MOFO

Jenson71
03-26-2009, 10:43 PM
I guess she was trying to make things better when she said "well, at least you are as big as your dad".

I bet that made everything better.

DeezNutz
03-26-2009, 10:44 PM
I guess she was trying to make things better when she said "well, at least you are as big as your dad".

ROFL

Buck
03-26-2009, 10:48 PM
I was probably 11

DeezNutz
03-26-2009, 10:49 PM
So, in essence, the request for this thread is, "Tell me about your post-pubescent penis."

rad
03-26-2009, 10:53 PM
From Meatpeeker

to Meatposter.

Spott
03-26-2009, 10:54 PM
I don't remember that happening, but I walked in on my parents getting it on once when I was about 12. I'm still scarred from that shit.

luv
03-26-2009, 10:56 PM
Never.

Wait, this is probably a question for guys only.

Pitt Gorilla
03-26-2009, 10:57 PM
I was 16 and having a hard time getting out of bed for school one morning.

Mom, in all her wisdom, thought it would be a good idea to pull my covers off to get me up and out of bed.

Mistake.

I had taken to sleeping in the nude about a month prior to that.

I guess she was trying to make things better when she said "well, at least you are as big as your dad".I guess we probably don't want to know how she "measured" it.

luv
03-26-2009, 10:57 PM
I was 16 and having a hard time getting out of bed for school one morning.

Mom, in all her wisdom, thought it would be a good idea to pull my covers off to get me up and out of bed.

Mistake.

I had taken to sleeping in the nude about a month prior to that.

I guess she was trying to make things better when she said "well, at least you are as big as your dad".

LMAO

pr_capone
03-26-2009, 10:58 PM
I guess we probably don't want to know how she "measured" it.

She said I tickled the back of her throat as much as my dad did.

how the fuck do you think she did it???

lol

By sight..... I hope. :spock:

luv
03-26-2009, 10:58 PM
How in the world does one get into a conversation with his friends where "mom" and "my penis" come up at the same time?

BigMeatballDave
03-26-2009, 10:59 PM
Not sure. Under 16, tho.

Kyle DeLexus
03-26-2009, 10:59 PM
Never.

Wait, this is probably a question for guys only.

Now now now we don't limit questions based on the sex of a poster. Women can answer if they have a special toy in their top drawer.

BigMeatballDave
03-26-2009, 10:59 PM
How in the world does one get into a conversation with his friends where "mom" and "my penis" come up at the same time?Disturbing, right? LMAO

T-post Tom
03-26-2009, 11:02 PM
Hilarious bar conversation I had last night.

Rep to anybody who's willing to tell of a tale where they were older than 16 and their mother saw their penis.

Rep really to anybody to answers, I guess.

I will sell all my casino cash to the first guy with a story where it happened in his 20s.

I'd sell my soul, too, to get this night over with, but I already sold it for Mizzou's win.

I was 24 and single. I travelled to my folks' place for Christmas that year. They had a big Christmas party with family, friends and neighbors. One of the neighbors had an eighteen year old daughter with a rockin' body and a penchant for "older" men. Her and I ended up exploring the comforts of an empty bedroom. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. Yep, you know what's next... Mom "heard noises" and came in to investigate. Not good. Fully monty at full attention. Mom said, "Oh my, so sorry to bother you" & closed the door. She never mentioned it again. A "Kodak" moment in the wrongest of ways.

luv
03-26-2009, 11:03 PM
Now now now we don't limit questions based on the sex of a poster. Women can answer if they have a special toy in their top drawer.

My mom would flip if she came across my stash. I don't know how she would, but still. I think she might think I'm still a virgin.

Jenson71
03-26-2009, 11:04 PM
How in the world does one get into a conversation with his friends where "mom" and "my penis" come up at the same time?

This is why sports were invented.

SBK
03-26-2009, 11:05 PM
I don't know when my mom saw me, but when I was about 15-16 my dad told me that my mom told him I was a lot bigger than he was. LMAO

Maybe she never saw me naked though, I used to wear boxers and those umbro soccer shorts, wish someone had told me that wasn't a good idea.

Fairplay
03-26-2009, 11:05 PM
I suppose i was 9 or 10, i had a rash or something and my mom wanted to look at it because i kept scratching it. I didn't want to show it then she said "i've seen you naked plenty of times as a baby now pull down your shorts!"

Embarresed, i did.

Pants
03-26-2009, 11:07 PM
I don't know when my mom saw me, but when I was about 15-16 my dad told me that my mom told him I was a lot bigger than he was. LMAO

Maybe she never saw me naked though, I used to wear boxers and those umbro soccer shorts, wish someone had told me that wasn't a good idea.

WTF? You packin 13 inches? But this whole "mother seeing your penis" premise is fucked up.

SBK
03-26-2009, 11:08 PM
WTF? You packin 13 inches? But this whole "mother seeing your penis" premise is ****ed up.

LMAO

I think it's more that my dad is hung like a 5 year old.

wild1
03-26-2009, 11:09 PM
i dont know.

the last time YOUR mother saw my penis, that's another story!

Fairplay
03-26-2009, 11:10 PM
WTF? You packin 13 inches? But this whole "mother seeing your penis" premise is ****ed up.



Yeah, that is weird was my first initial thought.

Maybe if they are from Arkansas, i could understand that better. :D

Fairplay
03-26-2009, 11:11 PM
I think she might think I'm still a virgin.



Probably right.

aturnis
03-26-2009, 11:12 PM
I don't know for myself. I can almost guarantee you though, that GoChiefs was the oldest out of everyone on this board.

Crush
03-26-2009, 11:12 PM
*walks away from thread slowly*

SBK
03-26-2009, 11:12 PM
I know a guy that had an emergency surgery, almost died etc etc, his mom had to help him bathe in the hospital, he was 30-32 or so.

I figured this thread would be full of that type of talk.

Direckshun
03-26-2009, 11:13 PM
I was 18 or 19.

I fell asleep on the couch one night and somehow in the middle of the night my penis wormed its way through the hole of my boxers and rested, for the evening, continued to rub abrasively against the zipper of my jeans.

Wake up in the morning with a cut right along the head, and it burns like fire any time I try to piss. I can't piss.

My mother's a medical professional for like, 40 years, so I ask her about it and yes, show her the cut.

Her advice: apply Ambesol on it, it numbs it just like a cold sore, and you can piss.

And whaddayaknow.

Mecca
03-26-2009, 11:14 PM
Everyone is gonna go to their parents house and strut around naked just so they can have stories for the thread.

luv
03-26-2009, 11:14 PM
*walks away from thread slowly*

Recently, huh?

Mecca
03-26-2009, 11:15 PM
I was 18 or 19.

I fell asleep on the couch one night and somehow in the middle of the night my penis wormed its way through the hole of my boxers and rested, for the evening, continued to rub abrasively against the zipper of my jeans.

Wake up in the morning with a cut right along the head, and it burns like fire any time I try to piss. I can't piss.

My mother's a medical professional for like, 40 years, so I ask her about it and yes, show her the cut.

Her advice: apply Ambesol on it, it numbs it just like a cold sore, and you can piss.

And whaddayaknow.

Do you think you could last longer during sex if you dipped your penis in ambesol first to numb it?

luv
03-26-2009, 11:16 PM
Do you think you could last longer during sex if you dipped your penis in ambesol first to numb it?

How would you know if it felt good. No stimulus.

T-post Tom
03-26-2009, 11:17 PM
Do you think you could last longer during sex if you dipped your penis in ambesol first to numb it?

Try altoids and ice cubes next time you're getting a hummer.

Direckshun
03-26-2009, 11:17 PM
Do you think you could last longer during sex if you dipped your penis in ambesol first to numb it?

hahahahahahahahahhaahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahaha

NOOOOOOOOOOO fuggin clue.

Mecca
03-26-2009, 11:19 PM
Try altoids and ice cubes next time you're getting a hummer.

I've never once in my life thought ice would be a good sensation on my wang.

Fairplay
03-26-2009, 11:20 PM
I don't know for myself. I can almost guarantee you though, that GoChiefs was the oldest out of everyone on this board.



Heh, I thought about that also. Thing is, that dumbf**k is proud about it.

T-post Tom
03-26-2009, 11:21 PM
I've never once in my life thought ice would be a good sensation on my wang.

Oh dude, you need to "explore the space".

Fairplay
03-26-2009, 11:23 PM
Someone should start a spin-off thread about when was the last time your dad seen your wanger.

Claynus
03-26-2009, 11:27 PM
I am 27 years old, and I have been lying to you people for a year. I have not been losing weight. I have been gaining at an astronomical rate as my metabolism slows down and my depression increases. My new passion for drinking doesn't help. I am horribly fat, almost 400 pounds now. As such, I have trouble washing myself.

I let it go, for awhile, not washing my privates, but eventually it started to get a bit...gamy...down there. One day, as my great bulk rested at the breakfast table and mommy served me my third helping of fried biscuits with lard gravy (with bacon-stuffed sausage!), she wrinkled her nose. She asked me, what was that repulsive smell, overpowering my disgusting body odor? She had grown used to my pungent, sweat-trapped-in-fatty-folds aroma, but this was something new. Something more horrible. As if a strange creature from the Marinara (mmmm, Marinara sauce) trench had crawled into my taint and died, and lay rotting for many months.

I attempted to stuff my face with lard gravy and fried biscuits, but my mother just slapped the back of my flabby head, and my weak jaws spilled my mouth's half-eaten contents back onto my plate. Angrily she wagged her finger at me and told me to fess up. Sadly, I looked down at my delicious plate, wishing only for the rest of the world to die so I could feed my fat, veiny cheeks in peace and joy. Alas, I told her of my plight, of my ever-unreachable private area and how it had not been washed for many moons.

At first she merely gasped, but then her anger rose to a level I had never before witnessed. Though a small woman, she ripped my ponderous bulk out of my chair and dragged my gargantuan carcass across the room. We entered the bathroom and she dumped me on the floor, gasping. Then she yelled, furiously, for me get into the shower. Already humiliated, and praying only for the ordeal to be over as quickly as possible, I sucked in a great breath of air and hurled my gigantic body into the shower.

I cracked my head on the tile, and felt something warm bubble up from the top of my cranium. Dearest mother hopped in alongside me and shoved me against the wall as I lay on my back. She turned the water on full blast, and it began to soak my clothes, as if I was the disgusting star of some macabre wet T-shirt contest. She skinned my zubaz pants from my elephantine legs and ripped my hanes (6XL) from my swelling FUPA.

Mother was taken aback as the stench hit her full on in the face, but furrowed her matronly brow and dove back in as the water hit my pubic region. My mother grabbed my tiny penis, shrunken from years of inactivity and high-fat infection, and scrubbed furiously as my genitals began to swell with blood, excited from first contact with another human's hands in the history of my life.

As the blood from my cranial fissure poured into my eyes, it mixed with salty sweat and tears, and flowed into my mouth. Mmmmmmm. Salty. The world faded to black and I passed out. When I woke up I was in a grave. But my balls were clean.

Crush
03-26-2009, 11:28 PM
Recently, huh?


You know the drill. A 14 year-old Crush and his mistake of not locking the damn door. Along with a copy of a pornographic movie. LMAO


Edit: This thread has Hall of Classics potential.

Direckshun
03-26-2009, 11:29 PM
I am 27 years old, and I have been lying to you people for a year. I have not been losing weight. I have been gaining at an astronomical rate as my metabolism slows down and my depression increases. My new passion for drinking doesn't help. I am horribly fat, almost 400 pounds now. As such, I have trouble washing myself.

I let it go, for awhile, not washing my privates, but eventually it started to get a bit...gamy...down there. One day, as my great bulk rested at the breakfast table and mommy served me my third helping of fried biscuits with lard gravy (with bacon-stuffed sausage!), she wrinkled her nose. She asked me, what was that repulsive smell, overpowering my disgusting body odor? She had grown used to my pungent, sweat-trapped-in-fatty-folds aroma, but this was something new. Something more horrible. As if a strange creature from the Marinara (mmmm, Marinara sauce) trench had crawled into my taint and died, and lay rotting for many months.

I attempted to stuff my face with lard gravy and fried biscuits, but my mother just slapped the back of my flabby head, and my weak jaws spilled my mouth's half-eaten contents back onto my plate. Angrily she wagged her finger at me and told me to fess up. Sadly, I looked down at my delicious plate, wishing only for the rest of the world to die so I could feed my fat, veiny cheeks in peace and joy. Alas, I told her of my plight, of my ever-unreachable private area and how it had not been washed for many moons.

At first she merely gasped, but then her anger rose to a level I had never before witnessed. Though a small woman, she ripped my ponderous bulk out of my chair and dragged my gargantuan carcass across the room. We entered the bathroom and she dumped me on the floor, gasping. Then she yelled, furiously, for me get into the shower. Already humiliated, and praying only for the ordeal to be over as quickly as possible, I sucked in a great breath of air and hurled my gigantic body into the shower.

I cracked my head on the tile, and felt something warm bubble up from the top of my cranium. Dearest mother hopped in alongside me and shoved me against the wall as I lay on my back. She turned the water on full blast, and it began to soak my clothes, as if I was the disgusting star of some macabre wet T-shirt contest. She skinned my zubaz pants from my elephantine legs and ripped my hanes (6XL) from my swelling FUPA.

Mother was taken aback as the stench hit her full on in the face, but furrowed her matronly brow and dove back in as the water hit my pubic region. My mother grabbed my tiny penis, shrunken from years of inactivity and high-fat infection, and scrubbed furiously as my genitals began to swell with blood, excited from first contact with another human's hands in the history of my life.

As the blood from my cranial fissure poured into my eyes, it mixed with salty sweat and tears, and flowed into my mouth. Mmmmmmm. Salty. The world faded to black and I passed out. When I woke up I was in a grave. But my balls were clean.

Thread over, potentially.

Pants
03-26-2009, 11:30 PM
Someone should start a spin-off thread about when was the last time your dad seen your wanger.

I got no probs being naked around pops. We used to go to the gym together when I was around 15-16, so I guess my soldier entered his peripheral vision at some point during that time.

Direckshun
03-26-2009, 11:31 PM
Someone should start a spin-off thread about when was the last time your dad seen your wanger.

Dude, my dad sees my wanger all the time. Several times a month we go to the gym before we work in the morning, and we have to completely shower and change.

Direckshun
03-26-2009, 11:31 PM
Great minds.

Edit: And penises.

Claynus
03-26-2009, 11:32 PM
I don't know for myself. I can almost guarantee you though, that GoChiefs was the oldest out of everyone on this board.

Nope. I can't recall the last time my mom saw my johnson, but it was before I was a teenager.

T-post Tom
03-26-2009, 11:32 PM
I am 27 years old, and I have been lying to you people for a year. I have not been losing weight. I have been gaining at an astronomical rate as my metabolism slows down and my depression increases. My new passion for drinking doesn't help. I am horribly fat, almost 400 pounds now. As such, I have trouble washing myself...

There's someone you should talk to..
http://weblogs.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/blog/JerrySpringer.jpg

sportsman1
03-26-2009, 11:33 PM
Yeah, that is weird was my first initial thought.

Maybe if they are from Arkansas, i could understand that better. :D

Hey! You Leave us alone Dammit! :cuss:

T-post Tom
03-26-2009, 11:34 PM
Dude, my dad sees my wanger all the time. Several times a month we go to the gym before we work in the morning, and we have to completely shower and change.


Ouch. Keep the casino cash: you just won it fair and square. [edit: jk]

Fairplay
03-26-2009, 11:34 PM
Nope. I can't recall the last time my mom saw my johnson, but it was before I was a teenager.



The fat helps hide it.

Iowanian
03-26-2009, 11:35 PM
Never.

Wait, this is probably a question for guys only.

Thats not *ENTIRELY* true now is it luv?

There was that whole "20th birthday bbq at your apartment" incident...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_XWMHOKSnvhg/SYaM8lCdk_I/AAAAAAAAE6E/wSsSkgkujLE/s200/dildo+dog

Claynus
03-26-2009, 11:35 PM
The fat helps hide it.

Ho ho! A fat joke about GoChiefs! Originality! High five?

CoMoChief
03-26-2009, 11:36 PM
24 yrs prob, why whats the point of this thread?

luv
03-26-2009, 11:37 PM
Thats not *ENTIRELY* true now is it luv?

There was that whole "20th birthday bbq at your apartment" incident...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_XWMHOKSnvhg/SYaM8lCdk_I/AAAAAAAAE6E/wSsSkgkujLE/s200/dildo+dog

I think she blocked it out.

Pants
03-26-2009, 11:38 PM
Ouch. Keep the casino cash: you just won it fair and square.

I don't see what the problem is. Men are naked around each other when they shower after working out. It's not a big deal in the slightest.

Fairplay
03-26-2009, 11:38 PM
Ho ho! A fat joke about GoChiefs! Originality! High five?


High five it back to you.

Direckshun
03-26-2009, 11:38 PM
I don't see what the problem is. Men are naked around each other when they shower after working out. It's not a big deal in the slightest.

T-post Tom wears his underwear in the shower.

Claynus
03-26-2009, 11:39 PM
I don't see what the problem is. Men are naked around each other when they shower after working out. It's not a big deal in the slightest.

I've never showered in front of anyone and won't do so until I'm in a relationship. So potentially, never.

Direckshun
03-26-2009, 11:39 PM
24 yrs prob, why whats the point of this thread?

The point of this thread has just become for you to explain what happened.

Pants
03-26-2009, 11:40 PM
I've never showered in front of anyone and won't do so until I'm in a relationship. So potentially, never.

Notice how I said "men".

Pants
03-26-2009, 11:40 PM
T-post Tom wears his underwear in the shower.

LMAO

T-post Tom
03-26-2009, 11:43 PM
I don't see what the problem is. Men are naked around each other when they shower after working out. It's not a big deal in the slightest.


I was joking.

BigRock
03-26-2009, 11:43 PM
She's definitely seen it since I turned 20. I'm forever 4 years old to my mom. When I'd go home for the summer during college or whatever, I'd be getting out of the shower and she'd barge into the bathroom to fold laundry. Stuff like that.

I have no privacy in her house. I have no rights. And there's no point objecting, unless I want to hear about how she used to wipe my little baby butt.

Pants
03-26-2009, 11:44 PM
I was joking.

Oh, my bad.

T-post Tom
03-26-2009, 11:44 PM
T-post Tom wears his underwear in the shower.

If by underwear you mean an elaborate system of girdles and trusses, you are correct. My wobbly bits are large and many. :)

Mecca
03-26-2009, 11:45 PM
She's definitely seen it since I turned 20. I'm forever 4 years old to my mom. When I'd go home for the summer during college or whatever, I'd be getting out of the shower and she'd barge into the bathroom to fold laundry. Stuff like that.

I have no privacy in her house. I have no rights. And there's no point objecting, unless I want to hear about how she used to wipe my little baby butt.

That reminds me of that Rob Dyrdek show.

T-post Tom
03-26-2009, 11:47 PM
She's definitely seen it since I turned 20. I'm forever 4 years old to my mom. When I'd go home for the summer during college or whatever, I'd be getting out of the shower and she'd barge into the bathroom to fold laundry. Stuff like that.

I have no privacy in her house. I have no rights. And there's no point objecting, unless I want to hear about how she used to wipe my little baby butt.

I bet she'd lose the habit if she walked in on an "angry" johnson.

Direckshun
03-26-2009, 11:47 PM
If by underwear you mean an elaborate system of girdles and trusses, you are correct. My wobble bits are large and many. :)

When did you become a 1950s street urchin?

T-post Tom
03-26-2009, 11:50 PM
When did you become a 1950s street urchin?

Actually, more of a fat bastard than an urchin.

Mecca
03-26-2009, 11:51 PM
I bet she'd lose the habit if she walked in on an "angry" johnson.

Angry Johnsons spit, just ask Larry.

CoMoChief
03-27-2009, 12:09 AM
The point of this thread has just become for you to explain what happened.

I run and underground bordello out of my old basement.....just so happens I got caught once.

rockymtnchief
03-27-2009, 05:07 AM
I was about 21 and home from school. My buddies and I went out for beers and I got stinking drunk. I ended up running into a high school classmate and talked her into coming home. I figured I could get a piece and take her home after the folks went to work.

It was hotter than hell out. So after we finished, we fell asleep on top of the covers. Mom came downstairs around 10:00 to see if I wanted breakfast. The girl and I were sleeping face up with everything hanging out. I couldn't look mom in the eye for a month.

Blick
03-27-2009, 05:16 AM
My mom hasn't seen my dick since I was a little guy, but my dad caught me :whackit: when I was 15 or 16. That was a little awkward.

sportsman1
03-27-2009, 08:57 AM
Don't read this drunk, or half asleep. It came out, "how old were you when you saw your mothers penis".

bdeg
03-27-2009, 09:11 AM
Don't read this drunk, or half asleep. It came out, "how old were you when you saw your mothers penis".

dude, you posted that at 9:57 am.... take it easy pal, its a long day

You'll never make it if you start out too fast :)

Katipan
03-27-2009, 09:19 AM
What's the big deal? My mom and I see eachother naked all the time. Course, I guess I'd die before I allowed myself to catch sight of my dad's willie and vis versa.

Blindside58
03-27-2009, 09:35 AM
Don't really know how much she saw, but When I was 16 I was home sick from school and ummmm..."Burpin the baby" with my bedroom door shut and the house phone rang and I guess my MOM thought the phone in my room was the closest one in relationship to where she was at and busted in my room. She pretended like she didn't see what I was doing as I frantically pulled up the covers up and pretended to be sleeping...as if she didn't see me :) Never has this been brought up. To this day I get paranoid and have the ears of an owl everytme I Go to "Polish the old German army helmet"

seclark
03-27-2009, 09:38 AM
well...i know i was over 30 at least. i've said before, i sleep walk frequently. we were visiting my folks and the wife and i were sleeping in the guest bedroom. around 2am, i got up and wandered around the house for awhile, then stumbled into my parents bedroom and climbed on top of the bed, right between them.

all i remember is hearing my old man say, "who the hell is in here?"
he said i mumbled something and climbed back off their bed and stumbled back to the guest bedroom.

didn't even remember it the next morning, but it's a fairly common conversation to this day.

that was the last time i've ever gone to bed naked, and whenever we go stay at a family members house, everybody locks their bedroom doors.

sec

keg in kc
03-27-2009, 09:40 AM
What's the big deal? My mom and I see eachother naked all the time. What a coinkydink. Your mom and I see each other naked all the time too.well...i know i was over 30 at least. i've said before, i sleep walk frequently. we were visiting my folks and the wife and i were sleeping in the guest bedroom. around 2am, i got up and wandered around the house for awhile, then stumbled into my parents bedroom and climbed on top of the bed, right between them.

all i remember is hearing my old man say, "who the hell is in here?"
he said i mumbled something and climbed back off their bed and stumbled back to the guest bedroom.

didn't even remember it the next morning, but it's a fairly common conversation to this day.

that was the last time i've ever gone to bed naked, and whenever we go stay at a family members house, everybody locks their bedroom doors.

secROFL

ChiefButthurt
03-27-2009, 09:43 AM
I was 24 and single. I travelled to my folks' place for Christmas that year. They had a big Christmas party with family, friends and neighbors. One of the neighbors had an eighteen year old daughter with a rockin' body and a penchant for "older" men. Her and I ended up exploring the comforts of an empty bedroom. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. Yep, you know what's next... Mom "heard noises" and came in to investigate. Not good. Fully monty at full attention. Mom said, "Oh my, so sorry to bother you" & closed the door. She never mentioned it again. A "Kodak" moment in the wrongest of ways.

I call bullshit.....you know it wasn't a neighbor.

Delano
03-27-2009, 09:45 AM
I developed never-nude syndrome at 9. So I guess about 18 years ago.

bdeg
03-27-2009, 09:46 AM
Once when I was 9 or 10, my Mom's entire side of the family had gathered for Christmas. I'd gotten some new PJ's, put them on and came back to the room where EVERYONE was hanging out after dinner only to have my great-Aunt burst out in laughter. (ouch?) Yes, I learned an important lesson that day

I tried to explain to her, "LOOK, I'm a grower not a shower, AIGHT!" I don't think she believed me

ChiTown
03-27-2009, 09:47 AM
I was probably 10 years old or less.

This is a creepy thread

Dr. Facebook Fever
03-27-2009, 09:51 AM
Yesterday. But it was your mom.

Iowanian
03-27-2009, 10:04 AM
So, in college, I was stripping at this woman's birthday party.....as I shook off the elephant truck banana hammock, much to my wondering eyes did appear, my mom and 4 aunts and 6 looks of horrified fear.











*some or all portions of this story may indeed be fiction for the pleasure of the general admission audience.

burt
03-27-2009, 10:05 AM
My mom hasn't seen my dick since I was a little guy,

Me either, I was 19. I had jock itch so bad, I thought I had crotch cancer, so she made me show her. With the same line..."I've seen it before....and a few before that"

Katipan
03-27-2009, 10:06 AM
So, in college, I was stripping at this woman's birthday party.....as I shook off the elephant truck banana hammock, much to my wondering eyes did appear, my mom and 4 aunts and 6 looks of horrified fear.

They didn't realize you had a vagina?

Iowanian
03-27-2009, 10:08 AM
No, I think the biggest concern was the knowledge that one of my aunts was a very, very good tipper, and had a unique way of "tipping from the taint".


Vision from a zorro mask in a black lit/strobe light room isn't ideal.

I still can't look at a $20 bill the same.

Otter
03-27-2009, 10:12 AM
About 23.

Got shit faced 4x4 all day with a bunch of friends over summer break in college. Passed out on the couch with my pants around my ankles working over the little guy to the nudie channel on the satellite dish and woke up to my Mom throwing sneakers at me 7am saying "GET UP AND GO TO BED"!!!

She wasn't happy and we haven't talked about it since.

bdeg
03-27-2009, 10:14 AM
LMAO were you passed out in the living room?(since she told u to go to bed)

and ROFL can't stand taint-tippers. I hate when that happens

Otter
03-27-2009, 10:19 AM
LMAO were you passed out in the living room?(since she told u to go to bed)

and ROFL can't stand taint-tippers. I hate when that happens

My shirt pulled up to my tits, quart of 1/2 empty Yuengling next to me spread eagle on the couch with cock in hand TV still on the tittie channel.

I kinda with she would have taken a picture. I know that's sick by you don't come across that kind of symmetry in life every day.

ChiefButthurt
03-27-2009, 01:57 PM
What's the big deal? My mom and I see eachother naked all the time. .

Pics?