God's Social Life

[Rain Man]

Whether you believe in God or not, for the purpose of this discussion please assume that God is a big heterosexual white guy with a flowing beard, white toga, and sandals.


So...do you think God is married? I mean he's got a son, but you never hear about a wife. One could argue that a Supreme being with unlimited power would create a woman who was his perfect match. And of course, statistics show that married men live longer.

Or...do you think he has a different woman every night and lives like Hef with a bigger house? I could also see a Supreme being who likes variety in his social life because, hey, why tie yourself down if you can score at will?

Or alternately, would he have a wife who he then changes to meet his needs? Or is that really having a wife? If you change her at will, is it really a lasting relationship?

Maybe a wife that approves of "open relationships"?

One other option would be that he creates alternate realities such that he has a loving wife and family (with twin sons Jesus and Jesse) on one day, and then is a rovin' bachelor the next. But would such an arrangement be cheating if he's not changing himself each day, too?

Poll forthcoming.

[Branden Albert's Huge Balls]

I'd think a mere orgasm would bore God.

[Jenson71]

Divorced. Reads craigslist and searches internet sites for "that special someone"

[Mr. Flopnuts]

God is a polygamist and stars in HBO's romantic comedy, Big Love.

[KC native]

:spock:Dude, everyone knows that the Flying spaghetti monster is kicking it in heaven with his beer volcano and stripper factory.

[patteeu]

When God's wife isn't at home toiling away in the heaven's kitchen or the holy laundry room, she modestly covers herself in a burka that is so effective that we don't even know she exists, she walks a respectful number of paces behind our Lord, and she only speaks when spoken to which is rare indeed.

[Jilly]

i can see god on
a cloud in the sky
on top of the world
watching the world roll by
with a great big grin
and some good cocaine
jesus by his side
in the pouring rain

cause i can believe
in the in between
what can't be said
and only seen
when you close your eyes
and open your heart
and everything you know
just falls apart

i can see god
in italian shoes
with a beard and a gun
and a case of the blues
smoking a cigarette
drinking coors light
with teeth so white
they light up the night

cause i can believe
in the in between
what can't be said
and only seen
when you close your eyes
and open your heart
and everything you know
just falls apart

i can see god
on a big white bed
too much time on his hands
too much stuff in his head
hanging out doing
whatever come round
hanging out
and getting down

and i can believe
what can't be known for sure
the things that might be
the things that never were
and still not know
a thing in the end
and still believe
that god is my friend