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View Full Version : Food and Drink Why do I do it to myself?


Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 07:31 AM
I went to the movies last night...bought a large tub of popcorn...extra extra butter...lots of salt...(I was a little drunk) and proceeded to max out on the thing and eat 80% of it (way too much)...

Right now I am so uncomfortable...I can't move. This has happened before. One time in high school I had mono, and it was the worst month long feeling I've ever had.

I compare this feeling to what, at that time, felt like my deathbed. I can't quite describe it...my stomach feels awful...if I move I feel like I'm going to vomit...and all I can taste is that disgusting butter taste and it makes me think of that popcorn which in turn makes me want to vomit even more.

And then I look around at my apartment that apparently went through a mini tornado last night and my roommates dirty dishes which again, make me want to vomit and off myself.

I hate life right now.

htismaqe
04-10-2009, 07:32 AM
Because the sense of satisfaction you get by doing it yourself...oh wait, maybe I should read more than just the title...

King_Chief_Fan
04-10-2009, 07:33 AM
I went to the movies last night...bought a large tub of popcorn...extra extra butter...lots of salt...(I was a little drunk) and proceeded to max out on the thing and eat 80% of it (way too much)...

Right now I am so uncomfortable...I can't move. This has happened before. One time in high school I had mono, and it was the worst month long feeling I've ever had.

I compare this feeling to what, at that time, felt like my deathbed. I can't quite describe it...my stomach feels awful...if I move I feel like I'm going to vomit...and all I can taste is that disgusting butter taste and it makes me think of that popcorn which in turn makes me want to vomit even more.

And then I look around at my apartment that apparently went through a mini tornado last night and my roommates dirty dishes which again, make me want to vomit and off myself.

I hate life right now.

Vomit, take 2 asprins and call us in the morning.

Mr. Plow
04-10-2009, 07:33 AM
Antifreeze.

ChiTown
04-10-2009, 07:34 AM
Vomit, take 2 asprins and shoot yourself in the morning.

fyp

stlchiefs
04-10-2009, 07:36 AM
Here: http://www.fmylife.com/

Goapics1
04-10-2009, 07:37 AM
Call your mom. She will take care of it.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 07:37 AM
Raunchy pussy smells alot like buttered popcorn.

bishop_74
04-10-2009, 07:38 AM
How about a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 07:42 AM
Raunchy pussy smells alot like buttered popcorn.

Come on.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 07:44 AM
I am going home for Easter today as well...

Terrible.

This is going to be a nightmare of a weekend. I make terrible life decisions.

Iowanian
04-10-2009, 07:46 AM
You're going to likely learn the meaning of what old farmers in my area say: "Hotter than a popcorn fart"

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 07:46 AM
My roommate just walked in from his morning workout...I asked him not to talk to me because I was about ready to hang myself...he obliges. He sits next to me, asks me about the movie to which I replied...then I looked over at what he was eating...and I kid you not...he's eating sushi. Sushi. I've never seen this kid eat anything other than a baconator from Wendy's...and he's eating god damn sushi.

Seriously...could this morning get any worse?

Iowanian
04-10-2009, 07:47 AM
Yes.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 07:49 AM
If I had the choice between cake or death right now...

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 07:56 AM
I once felt like this after chugging a bottle of syrup for 7 dollars.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:01 AM
Come on.

I'm not saying it smells like Em-Dawg, dork.

It truly does. Period pussy? Buttered Popcorn.
I may not have touched all the nasty boxes you've touched, but I've smelled them.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:02 AM
When I was 19 my friend Darren got booted from his house for wrecking his dad's car...so naturally he moved in on my couch and was the guy.

Well the guy didn't have a job so I basically had to support him financially...

Good friend, right? Well my other friend and I used to make him "earn" this support. $10 for eating a can of salmon flavored catfood, the wet kind, with no chaser until the catfood was gone (including the juices).

The best was the milk challenge. Darren is a big guy. We told him no way he could drink a gallon of milk in an hour. Like the champion he is, he gets 90% of it down in 10 minutes. And then he sits there. And sits there. If anyone talked to him, he would put his fists up and you don't want to mess with Darren. Needless to say, he finally got up, waddled to the toilet, and threw up cottage cheese all over the place.

Oh Darren.

His bank supported overdraft...so one time we put $2000 on party poker (he had maybe $15 in his account) with the idea of, if we busted, we'd cancel the check in the morning (party poker gave you those ridiculous credit lines because they made so much money)...well we gave someone the most ridiculous beat at a high limit table and doubled up...called party poker...they cancelled the $2000 bank request and we basically had $2000 to fuck around with (good idea at the time, looking back, JFC we were dumbasses)...

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:03 AM
I'm not saying it smells like Em-Dawg, dork.

It truly does. Period pussy? Buttered Popcorn.
I may not have touched all the nasty boxes you've touched, but I've smelled them.

I know.

I feel so terrible that the mere thought of any sexual activity with any vagina sounds awful.

Jessica Biel could walk in my front door naked and I would just roll over and cry.

chasedude
04-10-2009, 08:05 AM
I once felt like this after chugging a bottle of syrup for 7 dollars.

I ate 4 cans of whole jalapenos and drank the juice out of each can after that in 20 mins time for $100 bucks.

I thoroughly cleaned myself out that night with the worst stomach cramps I've ever had in my life. Some of that cash I got then went to a couple of bottles of Pepto later.

ChiTown
04-10-2009, 08:05 AM
(good idea at the time, looking back, JFC we were dumbasses)...

The thing is, you're still a dumbass.

You know dude, at some point, you might consider not running into the same parked car over and over and over.................

Iowanian
04-10-2009, 08:05 AM
I once felt like this after chugging a bottle of syrup for 7 dollars.


I saw a HS Sr do this not too long ago. When he blew chunks, he had syrup coming out of his nose.....it looked like Mrs Butterworth gave him an Angry Dragon.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:06 AM
The thing is, you're still a dumbass.

You know dude, at some point, you might consider not running into the same parked car over and over and over.................

I'll write that down.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:06 AM
I'm sure she'd be going for the guy that works out and eats sushi anyways. That's an L.A. thing. No offense to your obvious charms and popcorn hangover.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:07 AM
I ate 4 cans of whole jalapenos and drank the juice out of each can after that in 20 mins time for $100 bucks.

I'd do that.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:07 AM
Another note from last night.

We weren't planning on going out, but we had 90 minutes to kill so we hit the bar anyways...I decided I was going to drink as much liquor as I could in 90 minutes...about 6 drinks and a few shots in, I started having TERRIBLE neck pains. I used to get these same pains when I was younger and would drink captain and coke (so I stopped drinking captain and coke)...what the fuck causes that shit?

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:08 AM
You're supposed to SWALLOW, numbnuts.

ChiTown
04-10-2009, 08:09 AM
It truly does. Period pussy? Buttered Popcorn.
I may not have touched all the nasty boxes you've touched, but I've smelled them.

:eek:
Buttered Popcorn? All this time, I thought my wife was up late watching movies once a month. Huh...............

chasedude
04-10-2009, 08:09 AM
I'd do that.

You'll wish you hadn't afterwords... :grr:

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:09 AM
:eek:
Buttered Popcorn? All this time, I thought my wife was up late watching movies once a month. Huh...............

You'll have to tell us if it tastes the same.

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 08:09 AM
I saw a HS Sr do this not too long ago. When he blew chunks, he had syrup coming out of his nose.....it looked like Mrs Butterworth gave him an Angry Dragon.

I didn't barf, but once I got home, I went down to my knees on the front yard and didn't move for about 10 minutes. It was like the Y.A. Tittle Picture, subbing syrup for blood.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:10 AM
I'm sure she'd be going for the guy that works out and eats sushi anyways. That's an L.A. thing. No offense to your obvious charms and popcorn hangover.
He started working out last week. He bought this protein and the serving size is '1 Heaping Scoop'...needless to say all I've been hearing all week is him yelling '1 Heaping Scoot' at me every morning.

And as for the sushi thing, that is just straight from left field and makes no sense to me...this kid last week ate 4.5 italian beefs on a bet in 30 minutes...and now he's waking up early and eating sushi? What in the hell is going on?

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:10 AM
You'll wish you hadn't afterwords... :grr:

You know how at ghetto taco stands you can buy the bags of carrots marinating in jalapenos and jalapeno juice?

I could duck swallow the whole thing.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:10 AM
You're supposed to SWALLOW, numbnuts.
What does that mean? Am I drinking too fast? I've always wondered about these neck pains...

ChiTown
04-10-2009, 08:11 AM
You'll have to tell us if it tastes the same.

I earned my red wings as a young man. Unlike Hootie, I don't feel the need to poke a needle in my left eye, just to see if it hurts worse than the one in my right eye.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:12 AM
And as for the sushi thing, that is just straight from left field and makes no sense to me...this kid last week ate 4.5 italian beefs on a bet in 30 minutes...and now he's waking up early and eating sushi? What in the hell is going on?

Any Sushi he's eating this early can't be good.
Unless you live in New York.
And you don't strike me as a New Yorker.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:13 AM
I earned my red wings as a young man. Unlike Hootie, I don't feel the need to poke a needle in my left eye, just to see if it hurts worse than the one in my right eye.

I'd have to really hate a dude to let him eat me while I was bleeding. Or he'd have to be Hootie.

Amnorix
04-10-2009, 08:13 AM
finger meet back of throat, rinse out your mouth. drink a bunch of water, take 3 or so tylenols/advils, and go back to bed. You'll wake up a new man.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:13 AM
What does that mean? Am I drinking too fast? I've always wondered about these neck pains...

It was funny cuz see I was implying that you weren't swallowing.
Oh never mind.

Want some popcorn?

Nzoner
04-10-2009, 08:14 AM
You'll have to tell us if it tastes the same.

I just happened to be taking a drink of hot tea when I read that and it sure as hell didn't taste the same.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:14 AM
finger meet back of throat, rinse out your mouth. drink a bunch of water, take 3 or so tylenols/advils, and go back to bed. You'll wake up a new man.

This isn't the CP Weight Loss thread.

ChiTown
04-10-2009, 08:14 AM
I'd have to really hate a dude to let him eat me while I was bleeding. Or he'd have to be Hootie.

Yeah, well, when you are young, stupid and drunk, everything sounds like a good idea.

/Hootie

Rain Man
04-10-2009, 08:17 AM
This isn't the CP Weight Loss thread.


No, but it doesn't mean I can't learn new ideas here.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:17 AM
I earned my red wings as a young man. Unlike Hootie, I don't feel the need to poke a needle in my left eye, just to see if it hurts worse than the one in my right eye.

You want to hear something really disturbing?

When I was in high school, I used to drink a LOT of pop. Like, 12 a day...I'm not kidding. I used to play basketball and baseball, so I could eat/drink/do whatever I wanted and it never really mattered...either way, I'd spend a lot of time on the computer or playing video games or doing both because I had the luxury of having all of that shit in my room.

Anyways, being the lazy mother fucker I am, I used to pee in empty mountain dew bottles because I didn't feel like walking across the hall and using the toilet.

Also, I used to have a lot of sex with my ex in my room with my girlfriend at the time...even though I knew my mom knew and didn't care, it was still something that I didn't want to broadcast to her...so for the week or so we used condoms I'd just kind of store them in this cupboard along with these pee bottles...one time when we were in the act she started her period (gross) and I had to wipe it up with a rag.

So the contents of this mystery cupboard were about 5 gross, used condoms...20 20 oz. bottles of urine, a bloody rag, and a few empty bottles of booze.

So one day I take a piss in one of these bottles, take it to my storage lair, and sure enough...SPOTLESS! That's right, mother did a little spring cleaning when I was away for the day.

Never said a word to me about it...I knew she wouldn't, but I can only imagine what was going through her head when she opened up that cupboard.

Of course she also found and washed my jerk off rag when I was in 8th grade so...

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:17 AM
Any Sushi he's eating this early can't be good.
Unless you live in New York.
And you don't strike me as a New Yorker.

dude he bought it at a grocery store, I already knew it wasn't any good.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:18 AM
No, but it doesn't mean I can't learn new ideas here.

Oh lordy. Rain Man is craving popcorn without the calories.

ChiTown
04-10-2009, 08:18 AM
No, but it doesn't mean I can't learn new ideas here.

ROFL

I'm not sure this is the right forum for new ideas, unless it's ideas you are trying to avoid......

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:20 AM
I'd have to really hate a dude to let him eat me while I was bleeding. Or he'd have to be Hootie.
Period blood doesn't phase me.

One time at my party apartment when I was 20 I had this "friend" who was a total slut...her gross tampon definitely had a resting spot on my floor for over a month. I didn't want to touch it, and no one else did either. So it just stayed there.

Of course my first apartment one of my friends drank a whole bunch of everclear...he was passed out in my bed when I was trying to get my groove on with my girlfriend...only he kept violently puking off the side of my bed.

Or the one time I woke up at 5 AM to my roommate sleep-pissing in the corner of my room like it was a toilet...that was fun.

chasedude
04-10-2009, 08:20 AM
You want to hear something really disturbing?

When I was in high school, I used to drink a LOT of pop. Like, 12 a day...I'm not kidding. I used to play basketball and baseball, so I could eat/drink/do whatever I wanted and it never really mattered...either way, I'd spend a lot of time on the computer or playing video games or doing both because I had the luxury of having all of that shit in my room.

Anyways, being the lazy mother fucker I am, I used to pee in empty mountain dew bottles because I didn't feel like walking across the hall and using the toilet.

Also, I used to have a lot of sex with my ex in my room with my girlfriend at the time...even though I knew my mom knew and didn't care, it was still something that I didn't want to broadcast to her...so for the week or so we used condoms I'd just kind of store them in this cupboard along with these pee bottles...one time when we were in the act she started her period (gross) and I had to wipe it up with a rag.

So the contents of this mystery cupboard were about 5 gross, used condoms...20 20 oz. bottles of urine, a bloody rag, and a few empty bottles of booze.

So one day I take a piss in one of these bottles, take it to my storage lair, and sure enough...SPOTLESS! That's right, mother did a little spring cleaning when I was away for the day.

Never said a word to me about it...I knew she wouldn't, but I can only imagine what was going through her head when she opened up that cupboard.

Of course she also found and washed my jerk off rag when I was in 8th grade so...

:Lin: That's just plain sick!!! I've done some crazy shit when I was younger but nothing takes this.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:21 AM
finger meet back of throat, rinse out your mouth. drink a bunch of water, take 3 or so tylenols/advils, and go back to bed. You'll wake up a new man.
I can't do the finger/throat thing...I've tried. I just can't do it. I've thrown up ONE time in the morning after drinking...I envy my friends who can rid themselves of this feeling with this method in the A.M.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:23 AM
:Lin: That's just plain sick!!! I've done some crazy shit when I was younger but nothing takes this.

ROFL

Gonzo
04-10-2009, 08:23 AM
You want to hear something really disturbing?

When I was in high school, I used to drink a LOT of pop. Like, 12 a day...I'm not kidding. I used to play basketball and baseball, so I could eat/drink/do whatever I wanted and it never really mattered...either way, I'd spend a lot of time on the computer or playing video games or doing both because I had the luxury of having all of that shit in my room.

Anyways, being the lazy mother fucker I am, I used to pee in empty mountain dew bottles because I didn't feel like walking across the hall and using the toilet.

Also, I used to have a lot of sex with my ex in my room with my girlfriend at the time...even though I knew my mom knew and didn't care, it was still something that I didn't want to broadcast to her...so for the week or so we used condoms I'd just kind of store them in this cupboard along with these pee bottles...one time when we were in the act she started her period (gross) and I had to wipe it up with a rag.

So the contents of this mystery cupboard were about 5 gross, used condoms...20 20 oz. bottles of urine, a bloody rag, and a few empty bottles of booze.

So one day I take a piss in one of these bottles, take it to my storage lair, and sure enough...SPOTLESS! That's right, mother did a little spring cleaning when I was away for the day.

Never said a word to me about it...I knew she wouldn't, but I can only imagine what was going through her head when she opened up that cupboard.

Of course she also found and washed my jerk off rag when I was in 8th grade so...



I was letting this whole thing go....

I said to myself, "Self, don't get involved in this one."

However, this is by far one of the more vile threads ever started.

Hottie, please don't feel as though you have to share everything.

chasedude
04-10-2009, 08:24 AM
I can't do the finger/throat thing...I've tried. I just can't do it. I've thrown up ONE time in the morning after drinking...I envy my friends who can rid themselves of this feeling with this method in the A.M.

Grab yourself some Ipacac, you'll be hurling in no time.

Gonzo
04-10-2009, 08:25 AM
Period blood doesn't phase me.

One time at my party apartment when I was 20 I had this "friend" who was a total slut...her gross tampon definitely had a resting spot on my floor for over a month. I didn't want to touch it, and no one else did either. So it just stayed there.

Of course my first apartment one of my friends drank a whole bunch of everclear...he was passed out in my bed when I was trying to get my groove on with my girlfriend...only he kept violently puking off the side of my bed.

Or the one time I woke up at 5 AM to my roommate sleep-pissing in the corner of my room like it was a toilet...that was fun.


JFC

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:25 AM
You don't want to hear the story about the time a girl peed on me in my shower? After that experience, if I ever have a choice between a guy pissing on me, or a girl pissing on me, I'm taking guy 100 times out of 100.

Gonzo
04-10-2009, 08:26 AM
You don't want to hear the story about the time a girl peed on me in my shower? After that experience, if I ever have a choice between a guy pissing on me, or a girl pissing on me, I'm taking guy 100 times out of 100.

ROFL

Dare I ask why....

chasedude
04-10-2009, 08:27 AM
ROFL

Dare I ask why....

Holy shit, you HAD to ask.

Gonzo
04-10-2009, 08:27 AM
You don't want to hear the story about the time a girl peed on me in my shower? After that experience, if I ever have a choice between a guy pissing on me, or a girl pissing on me, I'm taking guy 100 times out of 100.

Was the whole piss on you thing voulantary?
Or did she just knock you to the floor and say, "Surprise! I'm pissing on you!

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:27 AM
You don't want to hear the story about the time a girl peed on me in my shower? After that experience, if I ever have a choice between a guy pissing on me, or a girl pissing on me, I'm taking guy 100 times out of 100.
For the record, my mom went out of town for 10 days so my friends and I took over my house.

I was showering at 8 AM getting ready for work..felt something warm and weird going down my back that didn't make any sense...turned around...my friend had snuck in the shower behind me, and was definitely peeing on me while giggling like a 12 year old girl.

So I've experienced both.

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 08:28 AM
Why do I have a feeling this thread is going to end with Hootie telling us all a story of a lemonparty he attended?

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:29 AM
Was the whole piss on you thing voulantary?
Or did she just knock you to the floor and say, "Surprise! I'm pissing on you!
Every time I shower I pee in the shower...I've done it all my life. I dated this girl FOREVER, and every time I showered with her I pee'd on her...I told her if she didn't like it she didn't have to get in with me.

So she said fine I'm going to pee on you and see how you like it. (I said fine, I don't care...)

Dude...a girl pissing standing up...it comes out all thick streamed and UGHH!! OMG I begged her to stop. I wanted to cry.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:30 AM
Why do I have a feeling this thread is going to end with Hootie telling us all a story of a lemonparty he attended?

Well I'm not gay, but I've seen and been a part of a lot of things that have been pretty fucking gay.

Our high school and the locker room scene...ROFL

I've seen a lot of dick in my day.

ChiTown
04-10-2009, 08:32 AM
Well I'm not gay, but I've seen and been a part of a lot of things that have been pretty ****ing gay.

Our high school and the locker room scene...ROFL

I've seen a lot of dick in my day.

You and Claythan should become BFF'ers

Gonzo
04-10-2009, 08:32 AM
Well I'm not gay, but I've seen and been a part of a lot of things that have been pretty fucking gay.

Our high school and the locker room scene...ROFL

I've seen a lot of dick in my day.

:clap:

Iowanian
04-10-2009, 08:34 AM
Hootie has the kind of issues that cable shows talk about after their case comes up for parole.

The fact that you kept a cabinet like that...in your own room is Dahmeresque.

Your room and everything in it had to have smelled like a sack full of assholes. the fact that your mother cleaned it, never said a word or had your ass at a psych doc is very telling.

Pants
04-10-2009, 08:34 AM
You and Claythan should become BFF'ers

They should form the meatpeaker club.

El Jefe
04-10-2009, 08:35 AM
This whole thread is great. Good entertainment.

OnTheWarpath58
04-10-2009, 08:36 AM
I make terrible life decisions.

So did your parents.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:36 AM
Dude...a girl pissing standing up...it comes out all thick streamed and UGHH!! OMG I begged her to stop. I wanted to cry.

I have peed standing up a lot. And it never came out thick streamed or UGH.

The girl jizzed on you.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:37 AM
Hootie has the kind of issues that cable shows talk about after their case comes up for parole.

The fact that you kept a cabinet like that...in your own room is Dahmeresque.

Your room and everything in it had to have smelled like a sack full of assholes. the fact that your mother cleaned it, never said a word or had your ass at a psych doc is very telling.

ROFL

I'm not sure I see the correlation...but shit, you should have seen our first apartment...Steve and I had bottles of pee lying all over the place...playing online poker and video games leaves you no time for getting up and using a bathroom...that's just fucking crazy talk.

ChiTown
04-10-2009, 08:39 AM
I have to exit this thread now, before my intellect takes over and strangles me.......

Iowanian
04-10-2009, 08:39 AM
The girls' piss was thickened to gravy by the untreated clamydia.


Darwin is going to win with your entire crew someday.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:40 AM
I have peed standing up a lot. And it never came out thick streamed or UGH.

The girl jizzed on you.
I don't even know...she must have been dehydrated, too. Something I'd rather not experience again.

My friend Steve used to stand in the shower when one of us would take a piss...open the curtain and block our stream with his hand and look at us with a big smile on his face.

I love that these stories are so out there for the majority of you...it's the social norm for my friends and me...which I guess is quite disturbing.

Demonpenz
04-10-2009, 08:40 AM
you got ugh'd dude.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:40 AM
The girls' piss was thickened to gravy by the untreated clamydia.


Darwin is going to win with your entire crew someday.

Well considering I was 16, and she was 15, I somehow don't see as if that was the case...

Consistent1
04-10-2009, 08:40 AM
ROFL

I'm not sure I see the correlation...but shit, you should have seen our first apartment...Steve and I had bottles of pee lying all over the place...playing online poker and video games leaves you no time for getting up and using a bathroom...that's just ****ing crazy talk.


You ever see the movie Things to Do in Denver when You're Dead?

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:41 AM
I can't stop with you guys! It's too hilarious. I have stories that are way better than these...lots of stuff that paints a pretty gay picture.

chasedude
04-10-2009, 08:42 AM
I don't even know...she must have been dehydrated, too. Something I'd rather not experience again.

My friend Steve used to stand in the shower when one of us would take a piss...open the curtain and block our stream with his hand and look at us with a big smile on his face.

I love that these stories are so out there for the majority of you...it's the social norm for my friends and me...which I guess is quite disturbing.


This whole thread is....

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 08:46 AM
I don't even know...she must have been dehydrated, too. Something I'd rather not experience again.

My friend Steve used to stand in the shower when one of us would take a piss...open the curtain and block our stream with his hand and look at us with a big smile on his face.

I love that these stories are so out there for the majority of you...it's the social norm for my friends and me...which I guess is quite disturbing.

Jesus Fucking Christ

Iowanian
04-10-2009, 08:48 AM
You and your friends need to pile into an old station wagon, drive along some cliffs shouting "O'Doyle RULES!" over and over until you drive over a banana peel.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:49 AM
Jesus ****ing Christ

Is pee that disgusting?

I swear that I, for absolutely nothing, would let anyone pee on my hand. It's pee. You can wash your hands.

Pee, that isn't from a girl, just doesn't gross me out. My friend Brian used to tuck his penis and pee on people behind him when we showered after baseball games...that's comic gold.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 08:49 AM
lots of stuff that paints a pretty gay picture.That comes as a surprise to everyone here, I'm sure. I know I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 08:50 AM
Well considering I was 16, and she was 15, I somehow don't see as if that was the case...

15- to 19-year-olds represents 46% of infections

http://4collegewomen.org/fact-sheets/chlamydia.html#_ftn4

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:51 AM
You and your friends need to pile into an old station wagon, drive along some cliffs shouting "O'Doyle RULES!" over and over until you drive over a banana peel.

Oh come on.

You really think the O'doyle's piss all over each other?

The funny thing is...when new people meet us...they find us totally weird and borderline gay...and before you know it, they are laughing and emulating everything we do...

That dude in the plate video that was showing his weiner off...that kid would never have looked at a dude penis two months ago.

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 08:51 AM
For the record, my mom went out of town for 10 days so my friends and I took over my house.

I was showering at 8 AM getting ready for work..felt something warm and weird going down my back that didn't make any sense...turned around...my friend had snuck in the shower behind me, and was definitely peeing on me while giggling like a 12 year old girl.

So I've experienced both.

My college experience also had shades of Animal House, but I can say with all certainty that I've never had another man "sneak" into the shower with me. Frankly, I'm not sure such "sneakery" is possible...

LOCOChief
04-10-2009, 08:53 AM
take the cake, go back to bed.

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 08:54 AM
Is pee that disgusting?

I swear that I, for absolutely nothing, would let anyone pee on my hand. It's pee. You can wash your hands.

Pee, that isn't from a girl, just doesn't gross me out. My friend Brian used to tuck his penis and pee on people behind him when we showered after baseball games...that's comic gold.

That's some fucked up repugnant shit.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:54 AM
15- to 19-year-olds represents 46% of infections

http://4collegewomen.org/fact-sheets/chlamydia.html#_ftn4

I'm sure the 15 year old end of that spectrum is the biggest piece of that pie.

Besides, she was my first, I was her first (which I wasn't even going to say because here comes the witty planet crowd to pass along all of their funny jokes about 'mwa mwa mwa you believed her mwa mwa mwa' you're an idiot blah blah...

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 08:56 AM
Is pee that disgusting?Yes. Yes it is.

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 08:58 AM
I have a very close group of friends I've known since I was 7 or 8 years old. We played sports together, drank together, we've passed out in the same bed together.

I've never seen any one of them piss or shit, I've never touched their piss or shit, and I've never seen, nor attempted to see, their dicks.

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 08:58 AM
I have to take a piss.

Hootie, please put your face next to your monitor.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 08:58 AM
My college experience also had shades of Animal House, but I can say with all certainty that I've never had another man "sneak" into the shower with me. Frankly, I'm not sure such "sneakery" is possible...

I've showered in a small shower with 4 different guys at the same time...butt to butt 10 seconds under the shower head...not peen to peen...butt to butt...that's some funny stuff. Butt to peen is also a major no-no...

Dude I've showered probably 10 times with Steve (my roommate for 5 years) using that butt to butt approach to save time.

I'm REALLY not afraid of anyone on this site thinking I'm gay. And I'll tell these stories to anyone, girls included...and in all honesty, they do a lot more good than damage. Girls tend to find stories like these hilarious.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 08:59 AM
I have a very close group of friends I've known since I was 7 or 8 years old. We played sports together, drank together, we've passed out in the same bed together.

I've never seen any one of them piss or shit, I've never touched their piss or shit, and I've never seen, nor attempted to see, their dicks.And that's why we call you 'Hamas' instead of Frootie.

notorious
04-10-2009, 08:59 AM
I have a very close group of friends I've known since I was 7 or 8 years old. We played sports together, drank together, we've passed out in the same bed together.

I've never seen any one of them piss or shit, I've never touched their piss or shit, and I've never seen, nor attempted to see, their dicks.

x2

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:01 AM
I have a very close group of friends I've known since I was 7 or 8 years old. We played sports together, drank together, we've passed out in the same bed together.

I've never seen any one of them piss or shit, I've never touched their piss or shit, and I've never seen, nor attempted to see, their dicks.

ROFL

I can't remember the last time any of my roommates closed the door to shit...shit, half the time one of us is showering while another one is shitting...makes for great conversation.

The funny thing is...a guy from downstairs will come up and he absolutely refuses to look at any of our dicks when we're walking around...and we all call him gay ROFL

I've seen Steve jam a toothpick in his peehole for shock value.

and I've had these same friends since I moved to Illinois when I was 12...

Katipan
04-10-2009, 09:03 AM
I have a very close group of friends I've known since I was 7 or 8 years old. We played sports together, drank together, we've passed out in the same bed together.

I've never seen any one of them piss or shit, I've never touched their piss or shit, and I've never seen, nor attempted to see, their dicks.

Apparently you don't know what you're missing

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 09:03 AM
ROFL

I can't remember the last time any of my roommates closed the door to shit...shit, half the time one of us is showering while another one is shitting...makes for great conversation.

The funny thing is...a guy from downstairs will come up and he absolutely refuses to look at any of our dicks when we're walking around...and we all call him gay ROFL

I've seen Steve jam a toothpick in his peehole for shock value.

and I've had these same friends since I moved to Illinois when I was 12...

http://brettyboy01.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/what-is-seen1.jpg

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 09:04 AM
Way too high of comfort level at the Hootie home.

Red Beans
04-10-2009, 09:04 AM
When I was in college I would wait for my roommate to shower before I went and took a shit. I did that to him every time I could. I'd have to plead with him. "Dude c'mon I've really got to shit. No I didnt do this on purpose." etc. There's a lot of satisfaction to be gleaned from shitting a foot from where someone's trying to clean themselves... I'd always ask him after I was done if he wanted me to flush and scald him or leave the mess. He chose the scalding every time...

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 09:05 AM
Next he's going tell us how he's passed-out with a dick in his mouth and a dick in his ass, and one in either hand, but that's not nearly as bad as seeing a girl pee.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:06 AM
Man, when Steve and I tell these stories to co-workers (we've worked together in Champaign/Normal and Chicago)...girls find them ridiculously funny. I don't know what it is...the whole bromance thing? But NONE of them ever think we're gay...or even question it...and I've learned when you hang out with the same people on a daily basis...girls are going to go for the guys they find funny and personable...so if these stories make me funny and personable to them and get me laid...awesome.

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 09:06 AM
Next he's going tell us how he's passed-out with a dick in his mouth and a dick in his ass, and one in either hand, but that's not nearly as bad as seeing a girl pee.

What's the big deal? There's mouth wash. /Hootie/

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 09:06 AM
Anyone here ever study Abnormal Psych?

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 09:07 AM
Anyone here ever study Abnormal Psych?

WTF am I doing on this board?

ChiTown
04-10-2009, 09:08 AM
Anyone here ever study Abnormal Psych?

Yes

Starting with the original post.........

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 09:08 AM
Man, when Steve and I tell these stories to co-workers (we've worked together in Champaign/Normal and Chicago)...girls find them ridiculously funny. I don't know what it is...the whole bromance thing? But NONE of them ever think we're gay...or even question it...and I've learned when you hang out with the same people on a daily basis...girls are going to go for the guys they find funny and personable...so if these stories make me funny and personable to them and get me laid...awesome.

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I don't recall ever meeting a girl that I'd want to spend more than two seconds with who would be intrigued by the story of a guy shoving a toothpick up his piss hole, nor would any of them find the idea of guys pissing on each other while sharing a shower to be anything other than disturbing.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:10 AM
Next he's going tell us how he's passed-out with a dick in his mouth and a dick in his ass, and one in either hand, but that's not nearly as bad as seeing a girl pee.
I think you'd really have to know us to get it...

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

I realize a lot of people are REALLY homophobic. I don't know what it is...penis doesn't gross any of us out...

I guess we're starting to see that with all the flaccid penis being shown in those Appatow movies.

Our high school was ridiculous...I remember Darren doing his beat box and Steve dancing to it with a sock over his penis when grown adults or teachers would walk in and shake their heads and say, "didn't really feel like seeing that today Steve!"

Memories.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:11 AM
What's the big deal? There's mouth wash. /Hootie/
I did get into a BIG argument with my friend Sean...

I told him sucking a dick would be cleaner than sucking a finger...and he got really mad about it.

ChiTown
04-10-2009, 09:12 AM
I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I don't recall ever meeting a girl that I'd want to spend more than two seconds with who would be intrigued by the story of a guy shoving a toothpick up his piss hole, nor would any of them find the idea of guys pissing on each other while sharing a shower to be anything other than disturbing.

She does.........

http://lh4.ggpht.com/fisherwy/R0RyOOQj_PI/AAAAAAAALZg/wpNS2QiHnGg/Amy+Winehouse+With+The+Suspicious+White+Powder+In+Her+Nostril%5B3%5D.jpg

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 09:13 AM
I'm not homophobic either, but I'm also not a window shopper at the meat market.

That's just weird, dude.

Next you'll be telling us you love visiting men's rooms in public parks because of the sausages that dangle out of the little holes in the side of the stalls.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 09:13 AM
I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I don't recall ever meeting a girl that I'd want to spend more than two seconds with who would be intrigued by the story of a guy shoving a toothpick up his piss hole, nor would any of them find the idea of guys pissing on each other while sharing a shower to be anything other than disturbing.

I have a mild fascination with the idea that someone could be so proud of his disturbia. But I'd be happy watching from the opposite end of the bar.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:14 AM
I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I don't recall ever meeting a girl that I'd want to spend more than two seconds with who would be intrigued by the story of a guy shoving a toothpick up his piss hole, nor would any of them find the idea of guys pissing on each other while sharing a shower to be anything other than disturbing.
Well I just referenced three different locations with three different groups of people...and without trying to sound like a total douche bag...Steve and I were always among the more popular crowd with the people we worked with.

Perhaps it's delivery? I'm not sure. I think it helps when these people realize that we're totally heterosexual...I don't know? All I know is, the majority of girls I've hooked up with since high school have been co-workers, or girls introduced to me by co-workers...

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 09:14 AM
WTF high school did you go to?

My HS had a lot of male teachers. Most former athletes and big guys, all coaches, too. If they witnessed me pulling a "sock dance," they would have literally shoved my head up my ass.

This kind of bullshit didn't fly when I went to school. We were expected to do crazy shit, like listen and be respectful. If I didn't, I paid a price.

Iowanian
04-10-2009, 09:15 AM
I ran with some wild bastards over the years and none of the shit frootie is describing is either funny, normal, or heterosexual. You live in a roman bathhouse for morAns.

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 09:15 AM
I did get into a BIG argument with my friend Sean...

I told him sucking a dick would be cleaner than sucking a finger...and he got really mad about it.

Technically, without the pop this might be true, but I'd still take my chances with the finger.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:16 AM
I'm not homophobic either, but I'm also not a window shopper at the meat market.

That's just weird, dude.

Next you'll be telling us you love visiting men's rooms in public parks because of the sausages that dangle out of the little holes in the side of the stalls.

Dude I was playing Halo in my roommates room a month ago...and before my Xbox broke, my friend and other roommate were playing split screen in the living room...

Between games...I thought to myself...what is the absolute GAYEST thing I could do right now to shock them...

So I took off all of my clothes and crawled into the living room on all fours.

True story.

Steve always used to like to say to me..."you're 23 years old."

He has a point.

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 09:17 AM
I think you'd really have to know us to get it...

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

I realize a lot of people are REALLY homophobic. I don't know what it is...penis doesn't gross any of us out...

I guess we're starting to see that with all the flaccid penis being shown in those Appatow movies.

Our high school was ridiculous...I remember Darren doing his beat box and Steve dancing to it with a sock over his penis when grown adults or teachers would walk in and shake their heads and say, "didn't really feel like seeing that today Steve!"

Memories.

I'm about as liberal as they come. I lived with a gay, black cross-dresser for a year and a half.

The behavior that you are displaying suggests a pretty twisted psyche. The reactions have little to do with homophobia, you're basically openly talking about your enjoyment of water sports.

It also seems to be escalating behavior. Say what you will, and I'm not trying to bludgeon you with normative behavior, but taking group showers, pissing on each other, leaving out used dick socks and period rags, and not caring about STDs doesn't bespeak of enlightenment, it's far more indicative of a gross psychological disorder.

Congratulations, though. You've got the attention you so desperately crave.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 09:17 AM
Dude I was playing Halo in my roommates room a month ago...and before my Xbox broke, my friend and other roommate were playing split screen in the living room...

Between games...I thought to myself...what is the absolute GAYEST thing I could do right now to shock them...

So I took off all of my clothes and crawled into the living room on all fours.Well, at least you stopped before the "and sucked them all off before having them jack off onto my face" part.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:18 AM
WTF high school did you go to?

My HS had a lot of male teachers. Most former athletes and big guys, all coaches, too. If they witnessed me pulling a "sock dance," they would have literally shoved my head up my ass.

This kind of bullshit didn't fly when I went to school. We were expected to do crazy shit, like listen and be respectful. If I didn't, I paid a price.

It wasn't just my class, it was every class. The locker room was a zoo...the QB a year older than us, friend of mine who played baseball with us (our class was the baseball class), got a 1 day in-school suspension for pissing on some dude on the shower who told on him ROFL

The ongoing joke every time someone got an actual suspension was..."you're telling me telling a teacher to fuck off warrants a 3 day suspension, but pissing on someone in a shower gets you a 1 day, in-school suspension!?"

ChiTown
04-10-2009, 09:19 AM
Dude I was playing Halo in my roommates room a month ago...and before my Xbox broke, my friend and other roommate were playing split screen in the living room...

Between games...I thought to myself...what is the absolute GAYEST thing I could do right now to shock them...

So I took off all of my clothes and crawled into the living room on all fours.

True story.

Steve always used to like to say to me..."you're 23 years old."

He has a point.

Are you sure you aren't just reciting stories from Letters to Manhole Magazine?

Demonpenz
04-10-2009, 09:19 AM
I think hootie is making shit up, but if not I pray for his soul and skin care

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 09:20 AM
I think hootie is making shit up, but if not I pray for his soul and skin careHis skin should be fine.

I mean, I tell all my girlfriends semen is like proactive on steroids....

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 09:21 AM
Piss is good. What's the problem?

http://www.nyfuturestars.com/profile_pics/moises_alou.jpg

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:22 AM
I'm about as liberal as they come. I lived with a gay, black cross-dresser for a year and a half.

The behavior that you are displaying suggests a pretty twisted psyche. The reactions have little to do with homophobia, you're basically openly talking about your enjoyment of water sports.

It also seems to be escalating behavior. Say what you will, and I'm not trying to bludgeon you with normative behavior, but taking group showers, pissing on each other, leaving out used dick socks and period rags, and not caring about STDs doesn't bespeak of enlightenment, it's far more indicative of a gross psychological disorder.

Congratulations, though. You've got the attention you so desperately crave.

You're probably right, I probably do have some disorder.

But you act as if we enjoy pissing on one another?

I can't remember the last time (high school) someone peed on someone else. Steve does the shower stream thing on a RARE occasion for shock value...but I can't remember the last time that happened, either.

All I'm saying is...if it all boiled down to it, naked dudes and naked dudes peeing doesn't disturb me in the least bit. My used condoms and my girlfriends period blood doesn't phase me.

And I don't want an STD by any means...but shit happens...

I'm a realist when it comes to that stuff...when I was taught about STD's in high school...I was shown those disturbing ABSOLUTE worst case photos...scared the shit out of me.

I have friends with herpes, I've known girls with chlamydia and HPV...I have a friend who was super happy he had chlamydia rather than the clap...

I don't live in a bubble, nor do I want to.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 09:23 AM
At least Hootie will never have athletes foot.

Iowanian
04-10-2009, 09:24 AM
The average man would punch someone in the face for pissing on them.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 09:25 AM
The average man would punch someone in the face for pissing on them.

So would the average woman.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 09:27 AM
So would the average woman.You always claim not to be an average woman. Is this a message of some kind?

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 09:27 AM
I would say that Hootie and his friends demonstrate a pretty textbook case of Histrionic Personality Disorder.

Five or more of the following:



Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention
Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior
Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions
Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self
Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion
Is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances
Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:29 AM
The average man would punch someone in the face for pissing on them.

Well, to the guy who ratted on the QB's defense...the QB would have destroyed him.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 09:29 AM
You always claim not to be an average woman. Is this a message of some kind?

So I go to a party at Hooties house. Some funky smelling chick barfs on me and I need to take a shower. While showering I feel someone else's pee running down my legs?

I'd be more vengeful than Bloody Mary. There would be blood scattered throughout the room. Millions of shards of glass. And a missing toilet plunger.

Iowanian
04-10-2009, 09:30 AM
After the divorce, did a guy your therapist calls "Uncle diddles" live at your house for a couple of years with hootiemom?

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:32 AM
I would say that Hootie and his friends demonstrate a pretty textbook case of Histrionic Personality Disorder.

Five or more of the following:



Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention
Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior
Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions
Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self
Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion
Is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances
Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.


I will be incredibly honest with you...other than #1, none of that other stuff fits. 3 doesn't make sense to me...5 might fit...but what does 'lacking in detail' mean? I don't think I lack detail, but I am very impressionistic...6 doesn't make sense...I'm not easily influenced in most regards...but if a random hot girl says...chug these three shots of Skol (gross) and I'll have sex with you...chances are, I'll do it. Last...I am terrible in relationships. I like a girl one day, and hate her the next...I blame my first girlfriend.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 09:33 AM
So I go to a party at Hooties house. There's your first mistake.

Everything after that's your own damned fault.

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 09:34 AM
I feel like I need to wash my hands after just reading one of Hootie's posts.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:35 AM
So I go to a party at Hooties house. Some funky smelling chick barfs on me and I need to take a shower. While showering I feel someone else's pee running down my legs?

I'd be more vengeful than Bloody Mary. There would be blood scattered throughout the room. Millions of shards of glass. And a missing toilet plunger.

First off, no one would pee on you...or invade your privacy. We're not tools or perverts, and none of us are aggressive or make women feel uncomfortable. I can promise you that. We're not creepy.

Secondly, I wouldn't shower in our shower. I cringe when I walk into our bathroom.

Third, while we often have people over after hours, I can't remember the last time we had anyone puke on themselves. It happened when we were 19...but, despite what I say about 15 year old girls, we usually hang out with girls of drinking age...and usually those girls can handle their liquor (especially if they are still going at 3 AM)...

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 09:36 AM
Crawling across the floor naked to draw attention to yourself satisfies 1, 2, 4, and 6 just by itself. Your other behavior on this board displays 3.

And "intimacy" doesn't just mean sexual intimacy or a dating relationship. Telling people you work with about water sports and tooth picks up the urethra? That's a pretty solid descriptor of 8.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:36 AM
There's your first mistake.

Everything after that's your own damned fault.

Are you kidding me?

I'll openly invite anyone to hang out with me when I'm in KC next...I guarantee you'll change your opinion of me.

I'm a fun person to drink with.

stevieray
04-10-2009, 09:38 AM
were you neglected as a kid?

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:38 AM
Crawling across the floor naked to draw attention to yourself satisfies 1, 2, 4, and 6 just by itself. Your other behavior on this board displays 3.

And "intimacy" doesn't just mean sexual intimacy or a dating relationship. Telling people you work with about water sports and tooth picks up the urethra? That's a pretty solid descriptor of 8.

Well, I guess there are worse things...

If I'm choosing from disorders, I guess this one sounds ok to me.

luv
04-10-2009, 09:41 AM
Are you kidding me?

I'll openly invite anyone to hang out with me when I'm in KC next...I guarantee you'll change your opinion of me.

I'm a fun person to drink with.

Isn't it amazing how much we can misrepresent ourselves on the internet?

Katipan
04-10-2009, 09:43 AM
Isn't it amazing how much we can misrepresent ourselves on the internet?

It's amazing that people would even bother.
Hootie I think is exactly how he claims to be.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 09:44 AM
I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm just as lovable in person as I am on here.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:46 AM
were you neglected as a kid?

What suggests that I was neglected?

This makes no sense.

My friends and I have crazy stories that apparently don't fit the social norm. I'm ok with that.

However, I come from a totally normal and supportive family.

I understand a lot of you are considerably older and Steve always jokes and says things like..."god damn my dad would kill me if he saw this etc. etc. etc."

Don't act like we don't get it...it just doesn't bother me.

Dude Steve hates having pants on...we had these friends from U of I (both GENIUSES, smartest dudes ever, engineers, they never partied...we were poker buddies who played the shit out of Smash Bros. and had a basketball team at the rec)...these dudes would never get naked and I would never imagine being naked in front of them...Steve, however, decides in the middle of a poker game he's done with his pants and sits on a paper towel and plays poker the rest of the night with no pants on...naked.

These dudes find it hilarious...

If you realize the context in which we do things, I think you'd realize we are far from 'gay'...I swear to God...Steve is always far more open to this shit when we meet new people...I moved to Chicago and met a new guy who was my roommate (he was friends with the guy we knew who's house we moved into)...he thought steve and his nakedness was weird as shit...and eventually he realized the context and now the dude seriously considers us his best friends...

It just isn't gay or weird to us...and to anyone else who knows any of my friends personally.

I don't know how else I can describe it.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 09:49 AM
I think it would be funny if someone took their pants off in the middle of a poker tournament.

Not so much with the funny once they start peeing on stuff and sticking toothpicks into pee holes. Then it's more of a raised eyebrow maybe I need to leave before the cops or paramedics arrive kind of thing.

luv
04-10-2009, 09:49 AM
It's amazing that people would even bother.
Hootie I think is exactly how he claims to be.

I think it's easy for people to find their niche, or fall into one, and then continue to portray that personality (which may/may not be all inclusive of their actual personality). Hootie tells the drunken stories of him and his friends, he acts like he's a sports genius, etc. We form our opinions of him based solely on what he posts. Who knows? There could be a decent, normal, personable side to him, too.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:50 AM
Isn't it amazing how much we can misrepresent ourselves on the internet?

I guarantee you that...

If this board put me and 'Hamas' together as roommates...and we had to hang out and blah blah blah and if we made it a year, we'd each get $1,000,000...

We'd be best fucking friends at the end of the year.

Steve has always been the insta-likable one. When people meet Steve, they love him...he's super charismatic, and personable...a lot of people either like me or hate me at first (no in between), because I'm always face value...but everyone always ends up liking me and liking me more than Steve...I'm so laid back and easy to get along with it's scary.

I've lived with Steve and some other people for YEARS...and none of us have ever gotten into a fight. Never.

I feel bad for anyone who doesn't have 5 friends like I do...

Steve especially. It's hilarious that we know each other so well, that at any time any place when something happens, we know exactly what the other is thinking...

Katipan
04-10-2009, 09:51 AM
I think it's easy for people to find their niche, or fall into one, and then continue to portray that personality (which may/may not be all inclusive of their actual personality). Hootie tells the drunken stories of him and his friends, he acts like he's a sports genius, etc. We form our opinions of him based solely on what he posts. Who knows? There could be a decent, normal personable side to him, too.

Of course there is. But it's hardly misrepresentation. He's still all the other stuff too.

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 09:52 AM
luv appears willing to plumb the depths of Hootie. Be careful, though. Those toothpicks are sharp.

Bob Dole
04-10-2009, 09:53 AM
I ran with some wild bastards over the years and none of the shit frootie is describing is either funny, normal, or heterosexual. You live in a roman bathhouse for morAns.

Hootie might not suck a dick, but Bob Dole would bet he'd hold one in his mouth until it went soft.

Buck
04-10-2009, 09:53 AM
Pick something that will make your puke taste good when it comes up.

I recommend this.

http://di1.shopping.com/images1/pi/e3/78/fb/46913284-177x150-0-0.jpg

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 09:53 AM
luv appears willing to plumb the depths of Hootie. Be careful, though. Those toothpicks are sharp.You got that mixed-up. luv appears willing to allow hootie to plumb the depths of her.

luv
04-10-2009, 09:53 AM
Of course there is. But it's hardly misrepresentation. He's still all the other stuff too.

True, but maybe it helps balance him out.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:54 AM
I think it would be funny if someone took their pants off in the middle of a poker tournament.

Not so much with the funny once they start peeing on stuff and sticking toothpicks into pee holes. Then it's more of a raised eyebrow maybe I need to leave before the cops or paramedics arrive kind of thing.

Toothpick in peehole happened when we were 16...one time...he claims he pressed it underneath his dick and made it look like it went in his peehole...I know what I saw.

The pee stuff was mostly lockerroom shit...pee will never bother me, that's for sure. It just doesn't. The stream thing is just funny if you think about it.

You're pissing...some dude reaches out of the shower and makes an O with his index finger and thumb around your pee stream...and then slaps your pee stream...

Come on...if that's not somewhat funny then whatever, it is to me.

Either way, if someone decided to piss on me when I was sloppy drunk and passed out...it would take me about 0.5 seconds to get over it.

Just doesn't bother me, don't know what to say.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:55 AM
I think it's easy for people to find their niche, or fall into one, and then continue to portray that personality (which may/may not be all inclusive of their actual personality). Hootie tells the drunken stories of him and his friends, he acts like he's a sports genius, etc. We form our opinions of him based solely on what he posts. Who knows? There could be a decent, normal, personable side to him, too.

What about my drunk stories aren't decent, normal and personable?!

Ok forget decent and normal...I don't care about that stuff.

I guarantee you that I'm personable.

luv
04-10-2009, 09:55 AM
You got that mixed-up. luv appears willing to allow hootie to plumb the depths of her.

Pick something that will make your puke taste good when it comes up.

I recommend this.

http://di1.shopping.com/images1/pi/e3/78/fb/46913284-177x150-0-0.jpg

luv appears willing to plumb the depths of Hootie. Be careful, though. Those toothpicks are sharp.

Alright. On this note, I think I'll lay off the overanalyzing.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 09:57 AM
Alright. On this note, I think I'll lay off the overanalyzing.There's a hidden message in there.Alright. On this note, I think I'll lay off the overanalyzing

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 09:57 AM
Lots of different generations represented on this board.

Steve is the guy who, for $6, ran through his living room (with his parents reading their newspaper) totally naked doing jumping jacks.

His dad says that, if anyone showed him their penis back in the day...or any of his friends...they'd get their ass kicked.

His dad was also our baseball coach during the legion years so he has heard some pretty fucked up stories...

Demonpenz
04-10-2009, 10:01 AM
snugga would kick steves ass

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:04 AM
There's a hidden message in there.

You know Luv likes the double "o"

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 10:06 AM
There's a hidden message in there.

What a beautiful mind you have. Have you located the bomb, yet?

Baby Lee
04-10-2009, 10:07 AM
I once felt like this after chugging a bottle of syrup for 7 dollars.

Did you get all antsy in your pantsy?

Dave Lane
04-10-2009, 10:09 AM
Raunchy pussy smells alot like buttered popcorn.

Now thats just wrong. I mean butter is quite sensitive and is very offended.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:10 AM
Now thats just wrong. I mean butter is quite sensitive and is very offended.

You're right. I'm sorry. :(

Raunchy pussy smells like popcorn jelly bellys.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 10:11 AM
What a beautiful mind you have. Have you located the bomb, yet?The bomb? Is that when Hootie takes a dump on her chest? I thought that was a cleveland steamer.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:12 AM
I think Hootie draws the line at shitting.

He has standards.

notorious
04-10-2009, 10:12 AM
The bomb? Is that when Hootie takes a dump on her chest? I thought that was a cleveland steamer.

It's her chest if there isn't a hamper nearby.

Pants
04-10-2009, 10:12 AM
This thread has lost its burst.

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 10:13 AM
The bomb? Is that when Hootie takes a dump on her chest? I thought that was a cleveland steamer.

No, that's Steve. No pants = easy access.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 10:14 AM
You're right. I'm sorry. :(

Raunchy pussy smells like popcorn jelly bellys.There's deodorant for that.

As you know.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 10:15 AM
No, that's Steve. No pants = easy access.Wait, so is steve taking a dump on luv's chest? Or moootie's chest?

Is it the new double decker, with steve dumping on moootie dumping on luv?

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:15 AM
Just so we're clear if a girl crawled into the living room naked and all fours, it would be a cool party?

DeezNutz
04-10-2009, 10:16 AM
Just so we're clear if a girl crawled into the living room naked and all fours, it would be a cool party?

Tough one. Either really cool or really uncool.

I hate popcorn smell.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 10:16 AM
Just so we're clear if a girl crawled into the living room naked and all fours, it would be a cool party?Not at frootie's house. Boys only.

You're welcome to come try the crawling thing here, though, if you want to see how it works.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:17 AM
There's deodorant for that.

As you know.

Yes... My sweet sweet Dylan. Long blonde hair. Vet technician by day. Dirty dirty dirty girl by night.

She still sends me I love yous. I can still remember the smell of her pussy deoderant.

Girls are so gross. Yay men!

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:17 AM
Just so we're clear if a girl crawled into the living room naked and all fours, it would be a cool party?

Seen it.

Andy dated this really hot, really slutty girl (she was the loudest screaming sex haver I've ever heard)...she was drunk as shit and we were all playing Halo in the living room at like 4 AM and she came crawling out of his room, naked, on all fours...

It was pretty awesome.

She also stripped down to her thong at a strip club on stage on Andy's birthday...and pulled down Andy's pants when the strippers were fucking with him on the stage...revealing Andy's little dingy...and Andy didn't pull up his pants...and the announcer guy started getting REALLY weirded out.

That was an epic night.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:17 AM
Not at frootie's house. Boys only.

You're welcome to come try the crawling thing here, though, if you want to see how it works.

You'll have to pick up the tissues. I'm not touching any jizz I wasn't a part of.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 10:18 AM
Dirty dirty dirty girl by night.Only three dirtys?

Amateur.You'll have to pick up the tissues. I'm not touching any jizz I wasn't a part of.Done.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:20 AM
She also stripped down to her thong at a strip club on stage on Andy's birthday...and pulled down Andy's pants when the strippers were ****ing with him on the stage...revealing Andy's little dingy...and Andy didn't pull up his pants...and the announcer guy started getting REALLY weirded out.

That was an epic night.

This is type of normal sick behavior that I can endorse.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:22 AM
This is type of normal sick behavior that I can endorse.

We try to keep a healthy medium.

Baby Lee
04-10-2009, 10:26 AM
She also stripped down to her thong at a strip club on stage on Andy's birthday...and pulled down Andy's pants when the strippers were fucking with him on the stage...revealing Andy's little dingy...and Andy didn't pull up his pants...and the announcer guy started getting REALLY weirded out.

That was an epic night.

Getting the GF to go the strip clubs, and getting her on stage, is the prelude to many an epic night.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:27 AM
We try to keep a healthy medium.

So I'd be cool hanging out with you for like half a night.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:29 AM
So I'd be cool hanging out with you for like half a night.

Depends on whether or not you can hold your booze.

Gonzo
04-10-2009, 10:31 AM
So... In summary Mr. Hootie, your daily life is basically the following:

1. Get up in the morning, (hungover) hop on C.P. and post random shit.
2. Eat breakfast, (leftover stale fast food) and turn on the X-Box.
3. Play Halo for a bit, then hop in the shower. Enter roommate, get pissed on.
4. While in shower, afore mentioned roomie drops a duce and laughs while you both discuss Halo strategy.
5. Both you and roomie do something not gay for a while then off to "work".
6. Get home, turn on Halo, have beer.
7. Go out to bar, try to date rape ex-girlfriend.
8. Go home, continue bender, play Halo.
9. Fart in roomies face and show each other your genitlas.
10. Go to bed, dream of roomies junk, masturbate and keep spooge sock in plain view.


Did I miss anything?

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 10:32 AM
Depends on whether or not you can hold your booze.This is where she says she's great at holding her liquor...by the ears.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:32 AM
So... In summary Mr. Hootie, your daily life is basically the following:

1. Get up in the morning, (hungover) hop on C.P. and post random shit.
2. Eat breakfast, (leftover stale fast food) and turn on the X-Box.
3. Play Halo for a bit, then hop in the shower. Enter roommate, get pissed on.
4. While in shower, afore mentioned roomie drops a duce and laughs while you both discuss Halo strategy.
5. Both you and roomie do something not gay for a while then off to "work".
6. Get home, turn on Halo, have beer.
7. Go out to bar, try to date rape ex-girlfriend.
8. Go home, continue bender, play Halo.
9. Fart in roomies face and show each other your genitlas.
10. Go to bed, dream of roomies junk, masturbate and keep spooge sock in plain view.


Did I miss anything?

That about covers it.

Baby Lee
04-10-2009, 10:33 AM
This is where she says she's great at holding her liquor...by the ears.

Alphabet the bean!!

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:35 AM
if you walked by my apartment when we're playing Halo...

you'd hear a lot of racist comments, a lot of screaming, a lot of random words like "green box", "training", "long hall", "one shot", "andy you're terrible", "meat sticks!", "meat dragon!", "I am going to suck your meat dragon!", "I want to feel you deep inside of me!", "I'm going to stick my meat dragon into your meat dungeon..."

I don't know, every day, normal Halo lingo.

I feel bad for anyone who is black that plays on Live.

It's like a gigantic clan meeting in the pre-game lobby.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:36 AM
we actually had our xbox and a few names banned for a week off of live after one of my roommates normal racist tirades...

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:37 AM
Depends on whether or not you can hold your booze.

Mine, yours, and probably about 3 other people's tolerances too.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:38 AM
Alphabet the bean!!

I have no fucking idea what this means but I can't stop laughing.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:39 AM
Mine, yours, and probably about 3 other people's tolerances too.

Alright but if you trip and get herpes don't blame me.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 10:39 AM
I have no ****ing idea what this meansI'm glad I'm not the only one.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:41 AM
OH OH OH its where you write the alphabet with your tongue!

duh.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 10:42 AM
OH OH OH its where you write the alphabet with your tongue!

duh.Oh oh oh, right. I didn't associate "the bean" with the little man in the canoe.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:42 AM
Alright but if you trip and get herpes don't blame me.

Fine but if I get pregnant you're all paying.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:43 AM
Oh oh oh, right. I didn't associate "the bean" with the little man in the canoe.

Thats the only way I got it.

Cuz I like the phrase "roll the bean"... Even tho really. We won't ROLL it per se...

Bowser
04-10-2009, 10:43 AM
OH OH OH its where you write the alphabet with your tongue!

duh.

n00b

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 10:43 AM
Thats the only way I got it.

Cuz I like the phrase "roll the bean"... Even tho really. We won't ROLL it per se...I have no idea what you're talking about. It's been so long my hymen's grown back.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 10:44 AM
Fine but if I get pregnant you're all paying.This is why they'll only poke you in the butt.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:45 AM
I have no idea what you're talking about. It's been so long my hymen's grown back.

Some middle eastern men would pay 5 goats for something like that...

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:46 AM
Fine but if I get pregnant you're all paying.

I have plenty of metal coat hangers...

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:46 AM
I should probably delete that.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 10:46 AM
Some middle eastern men would pay 5 goats for something like that...If you're not bringing camels, don't even bother coming.

keg in kc
04-10-2009, 10:47 AM
I have plenty of metal coat hangers...My solution was better.

Bowser
04-10-2009, 10:48 AM
I should probably delete that.

The statement or the thread?

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:48 AM
The statement or the thread?

My entire account I'm thinking.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:50 AM
In the last day I've been tagged by homeland security for pedophilia, diagnosed with a personality disorder, been labeled a racist, and now I'm a baby killer.

Maybe I should take a deep breath and collect my thoughts before I hit submit.

Katipan
04-10-2009, 10:50 AM
I have plenty of metal coat hangers...

There's a smell joke in here but it's probably crossing a line.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:51 AM
There's a smell joke in here but it's probably crossing a line.

as long as we keep saccagoo out of here I think we'll be ok

Bowser
04-10-2009, 10:53 AM
In the last day I've been tagged by homeland security for pedophilia, diagnosed with a personality disorder, been labeled a racist, and now I'm a baby killer.

Maybe I should take a deep breath and collect my thoughts before I hit submit.

Nah, I'd keep playin'. I don't think the heavy stuff is coming down for awhile.

stevieray
04-10-2009, 10:54 AM
What suggests that I was neglected?

.

..a thread that reads like a Jerry Springer episode.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:56 AM
..a thread that reads like a Jerry Springer episode.

I see your point.

Pants
04-10-2009, 10:56 AM
In the last day I've been tagged by homeland security for pedophilia, diagnosed with a personality disorder, been labeled a racist, and now I'm a baby killer.

Maybe I should take a deep breath and collect my thoughts before I hit submit.

Your cravings for attention really come out in this post, Hamas is right about you. Nobody labeled you a "racist" or a "baby killer", you wrote your previous posts expecting those reactions.

BTW, you're living the regular college life, except with some gay sprinkled in.

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:57 AM
Your cravings for attention really come out in this post, Hamas is right about you. Nobody labeled you a "racist" or a "baby killer", you wrote your previous posts expecting those reactions.

BTW, you're living the regular college life, except with some gay sprinkled in.

everyone's a little gay

Short Leash Hootie
04-10-2009, 10:57 AM
(that's a Trey Parker quote)

shitgoose
04-10-2009, 11:04 AM
I'm definitely no Hootie but......

I did have a roommate that had a problem pissing in kitchen appliances when he blacked out. He would come stumbling into the kitchen while people were still over getting drunk and walk right up to the oven, open it, piss inside, close the door, and stumble back to his room. Most of the time I would push him into the bathroom and shut the door before he made it into the kitchen but I wasn't always there. He was always really pissed off about it (no pun) the next morning when he would wake up with a bottle of cleaner, a mop, and a roll of paper towels next to him in bed.

He would come into my room and say "Was it the oven again?" I would mumble something and he always said something like "Sorry man I'll make a quiche for you to make it up" ROFL

FYI we never used the oven in that apartment. Not once. He also tried to piss in the fridge but before he could whip it out someone was able to intervene. It was like being a parent living with this guy when he got really drunk. Pissing in appliances, falling asleep with cigarettes or joints, etc. I only lived with him for a year before I figured I was better off on my on my own.

ChiTown
04-10-2009, 11:08 AM
everyone's a little gay

:cuss:

If I could get out of my skirt quick enough, I'd kick your ass for that comment......

Pablo
04-10-2009, 01:06 PM
BTW, you're living the regular college life, except with some gay sprinkled in.A little gay?

Just a little? I mean, fuck. I endorse idiotic actions just as much as the next guy, and being a college student myself, I've seen my fair share of retarded people doing stupid shit the last few years...but if any of my friends pissed on my back in the shower, I'm certain I'd chase them down instantly and pummel their face into a paste. That shit is gross.

Baby Lee
04-10-2009, 01:49 PM
I knew a drunkpisser in college, too. I always felt sorry for his hot GF because he'd piss the bed with her in it. Funniest though was when he went to drive. We talked him out of his keys, but couldn't get him out of the driver's seat, so he eventually pissed that as well.

Count Zarth
04-10-2009, 01:53 PM
I never eat movie popcorn anymore, except maybe 3-4 handfuls. It's pretty nasty past that.

I like a good overpriced box of candy, though.

But really, eating a full tub of buttery, salty popcorn and washing it down with an extra-large cup of watered-down high-fructose corn syrup while watching sex, drugs, violence and rock 'n roll is the American way.

Hell, might as well get you a hot dog full of leftover pig entrails and some stale nachos with fake cheese, too. MMMMMMMMMMMMMM! And throw my a pickle while you're at it. Did I miss anything? Now I'm craving junk food. Maybe in a month I'll go full nelson on a movie theater's food stand just for kicks.

Bwana
04-10-2009, 01:59 PM
:shake:

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 02:12 PM
Did you get all antsy in your pantsy?

I was doing it all wrong. I forgot to relax the throat and cup the balls.

Count Zarth
04-10-2009, 02:15 PM
I once felt like this after chugging a bottle of syrup for 7 dollars.

Did you have a sugar high?

I took 2 HOT-ROX this morning. It makes me feel like Superman.

http://bodybuilding.about.com/od/productreviews/gr/biotesthotrox.htm

Count Zarth
04-10-2009, 02:18 PM
Anyways, being the lazy mother fucker I am, I used to pee in empty mountain dew bottles because I didn't feel like walking across the hall and using the toilet.


ROFL

This seals it. Hootie is my favorite planeteer. Sorry Flopnuts, Delano, Phobia, htimsaqe, Simply Red, and the rest of you. Hootie is an epic Chiefsplanet legend. He will NEVER be replaced. He has the BEST stories EVER.

I once pissed in a large glass because I just wanted to try it. It looked like pale beer. It even had a foamy head.

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-10-2009, 02:21 PM
Did you have a sugar high?

I took 2 HOT-ROX this morning. It makes me feel like Superman.

http://bodybuilding.about.com/od/productreviews/gr/biotesthotrox.htm

No, I think I went into insulin shock. It sucked ass.

Count Zarth
04-10-2009, 02:26 PM
You and Claythan should become BFF'ers

Dude, we would be such good friends. I can tell Rick is a laid back, easygoing motherfucker, who is funny as shit. We both clearly have no qualms about revealing TMI. But we're polar opposites in many ways.

Plus, I fired him once. :D

Count Zarth
04-10-2009, 02:27 PM
No, I think I went into insulin shock. It sucked ass.

So it was like having beetus?

Count Zarth
04-10-2009, 02:30 PM
Is pee that disgusting?

I swear that I, for absolutely nothing, would let anyone pee on my hand. It's pee. You can wash your hands.


Urine is sterile. A baseball player used to pee on his hands to make them tough. It helped his grip/swing. I think it was Moises Alou.

Count Zarth
04-10-2009, 02:40 PM
Piss is good. What's the problem?

http://www.nyfuturestars.com/profile_pics/moises_alou.jpg

Oh man! I'm glad someone else knew what I was talking about.

Fairplay
04-10-2009, 02:46 PM
Hootie, the :reaper: wants to meet you.

Demonpenz
04-10-2009, 03:00 PM
Urine is sterile. A baseball player used to pee on his hands to make them tough. It helped his grip/swing. I think it was Moises Alou.

posada

shitgoose
04-10-2009, 03:03 PM
Did you have a sugar high?

I took 2 HOT-ROX this morning. It makes me feel like Superman.

http://bodybuilding.about.com/od/productreviews/gr/biotesthotrox.htm

I have heard about Hot-Rox. What are the side effects and do you think they are doing anything for you?

Count Zarth
04-10-2009, 03:55 PM
I have heard about Hot-Rox. What are the side effects and do you think they are doing anything for you?

Well, it made me feel a little jittery at first, but I'm getting used to it now. It's not like I have a sugar crash after it wears off.

I know they're doing something for me. The V-Diet is a proven, effective method of rapid fat-loss. It's in it's third iteration with hundreds of success stories. Any supplement on the program is necessary. It's not a scam.

Delano
04-10-2009, 04:10 PM
I just got 2341 grams of whey protein isolates in the mail. OH GOD YES.

I'm tired of eating shredded turkey after workouts.

Skip Towne
04-10-2009, 04:11 PM
So, Hootie, did your parents have any normal children?

Count Zarth
04-10-2009, 04:14 PM
I just got 2341 grams of whey protein isolates in the mail. OH GOD YES.

I'm tired of eating shredded turkey after workouts.

Shitty way to build muscle, brah.

GO HARDCORE!

Delano
04-10-2009, 04:15 PM
Shitty way to build muscle, brah.

GO HARDCORE!

What? What are you suggesting?

Count Zarth
04-10-2009, 04:32 PM
What? What are you suggesting?

Shredded turkey sucks. That's all.

DaneMcCloud
04-10-2009, 05:26 PM
So... In summary Mr. Hootie, your daily life is basically the following:

1. Get up in the morning, (hungover) hop on C.P. and post random shit.
2. Eat breakfast, (leftover stale fast food) and turn on the X-Box.
3. Play Halo for a bit, then hop in the shower. Enter roommate, get pissed on.
4. While in shower, afore mentioned roomie drops a duce and laughs while you both discuss Halo strategy.
5. Both you and roomie do something not gay for a while then off to "work".
6. Get home, turn on Halo, have beer.
7. Go out to bar, try to date rape ex-girlfriend.
8. Go home, continue bender, play Halo.
9. Fart in roomies face and show each other your genitlas.
10. Go to bed, dream of roomies junk, masturbate and keep spooge sock in plain view.


Did I miss anything?

I'm sorry but this is epic! I haven't laughed this hard in a long, long time.

I'd probably be appalled if I raised a child that did all this stuff but if it were a movie, I'd be laughing my ass off for 90 minutes.

Holy shit!

ROFL

shitgoose
04-10-2009, 05:38 PM
Well, it made me feel a little jittery at first, but I'm getting used to it now. It's not like I have a sugar crash after it wears off.

I know they're doing something for me. The V-Diet is a proven, effective method of rapid fat-loss. It's in it's third iteration with hundreds of success stories. Any supplement on the program is necessary. It's not a scam.

WTF is the V-Diet?

Count Zarth
04-10-2009, 05:59 PM
WTF is the V-Diet?

A gateway to sexiness.

Bwana
04-10-2009, 06:03 PM
So... In summary Mr. Hootie, your daily life is basically the following:

1. Get up in the morning, (hungover) hop on C.P. and post random shit.
2. Eat breakfast, (leftover stale fast food) and turn on the X-Box.
3. Play Halo for a bit, then hop in the shower. Enter roommate, get pissed on.
4. While in shower, afore mentioned roomie drops a duce and laughs while you both discuss Halo strategy.
5. Both you and roomie do something not gay for a while then off to "work".
6. Get home, turn on Halo, have beer.
7. Go out to bar, try to date rape ex-girlfriend.
8. Go home, continue bender, play Halo.
9. Fart in roomies face and show each other your genitlas.
10. Go to bed, dream of roomies junk, masturbate and keep spooge sock in plain view.


Did I miss anything?

Nice ROFL

rep

Gracie Dean
04-12-2009, 07:49 PM
sorry dude

badgirl
04-12-2009, 10:48 PM
mmmmm I love buttery, salty popcorn, I can't eat to much, I have never felt full off of it. I wish I had some right now.

sorry you got sick, just off your lazy ass roommate then drink an alka selzer problems solved.;)