View Full Version : Misc Why are Transformers so F'ing hard?

04-12-2009, 09:20 AM
So my boy got 4 Transformers for his B'day yesterday and I cant transform any of them. The instructions are useless. Anyone understand these things? I remember playing with them when I was a kid and they werent near this hard. Now my kid is upset because they are all fucked up looking and dad cant fix them.

04-12-2009, 09:25 AM
Turn in your f'n man card over there. -------->

04-12-2009, 09:26 AM
So my boy got 4 Transformers for his B'day yesterday and I cant transform any of them. The instructions are useless. Anyone understand these things? I remember playing with them when I was a kid and they werent near this hard. Now my kid is upset because they are all ****ed up looking and dad cant fix them.

Shouldn't this go on the epic fail thread?

Sorry. Today's TF are nothing of our generations. Damn toymakers.

04-12-2009, 09:34 AM
I swear I feel like Im going to break the damn things every time I try to move something.

04-12-2009, 09:38 AM

The Concept:

Transformers toys are remembered as being awesome, even if the backstory left some unanswered questions (what were the Autobots called before they landed on Earth and chose to be cars? Did they really think people wouldn't notice a bunch of driverless vehicles bombing around town? What if one gets pulled over for speeding?).


The first toys from the 80s were not quite as awesome as you probably remember them. The car usually transformed into a cumbersome and downright awkward-looking robot.

And even though Optimus Prime up there couldn't move around a whole lot in his robot form, he did transform in about four easy steps.


With the 2008 release of the new Transformers movie, Hollywood's godless pedaling of cheap merchandise called on Hasbro to release a newer, updated version of the classic Optimus Prime. We'll let this video do the talking.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ufrvDfor_Sc&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ufrvDfor_Sc&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Now that looks like a freaking robot. And it transforms and walks by itself!

Okay, that is a lie. You still have to do it by hand and it takes like 20 minutes (the new one has more moving parts in his feet than the old one had in his whole body). To make Optimus Prime far more badass they wound up creating the the goddamn Rubik's Cube of toys. You know, like, if the Rubik's Cube weren't already a toy. Shut up.


J Diddy
04-12-2009, 10:13 AM
They have difficulty levels posted on the packages now. I'd recommend going for the easier ones in the future. That's what we did to maintain our sanity when we got some for our son. The first one we got him every 5 minutes it was "dad can you transform him for me"

04-12-2009, 12:09 PM
Maybe you should try some GoBots.

04-12-2009, 02:50 PM
Apparently these toys fall into what we at our house refer to as the "90%" category.

There's a few roads that toys can go down, but some lanes are much much wider than others.

Lane #1 "The actually good toy": toys that are well thought out, stimulate creative thinking, and are non-proprietary enough to stand alone while providing enjoyment and usefulness over the long haul. These might require some R&D, and for sure require the materials and workmanship that will withstand a high frequency of intended uses. Toys in this lane may be obscure or enjoy immense popularity, but it comes from word of mouth. Beware of v2 of this toy falling into Lane 2. Lane width: Very small.

Lane #2 "I've got to have that": Toys that don't really need to work, because after all, once you've purchased it, they've got their money. These toys promise the moon, but the manufacturers have zero expectations for following through. The parent with said expectations find themselves returning it, the other 99% of parents just shrug and say, "dang, they got me." Because no word of mouth can increase the purchasing of these toys, they rely on other means to grow their "I was suckered into buying this" list. They might reflect a popular tv or movie character, or have enjoyed a cameo appearance somewhere. Packaging is key because that's what's getting you to buy it. This is the toy version of a "money grab" movie that has no incentive to be good because you pay on the front end, not the back. Lane width: WIDE

Lane #3 "It seemed like a good idea at the time". These toys have their roots somewhere in the parents childhood where a higher percentage of toys were Lane 1. Something in their subconsciousness says, "Don't you remember how much fun you had?". Unfortunately, to maximize profits (or minimize losses), the toy retains little from it's long-lasting, mind-stimulating heritage and "new" manufacturing techniques produce a toy that's very inexpensive, and not functional, not to mention non-repairable. Warning, this lane merges with lane 2 in 500ft. Lane width: Small

Just my take.

04-12-2009, 03:36 PM
I sometimes buy Transformers for myself since they're so complicated now, it's sort of like a puzzle. I mess around with it while I'm at the computer until I figure the transformation out, and then I throw it in a box somewhere.

Rain Man
04-12-2009, 03:48 PM
Throw the kid a ball and forget about it.