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jidar
04-17-2009, 10:36 AM
10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong


01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Sully
04-17-2009, 10:58 AM
Best DC thread....EVAH!!!!!

MagicHef
04-17-2009, 11:05 AM
Where in my life did I go so wrong to get to this point, thinking that clicking on this thread would be a good idea?

Bowser
04-17-2009, 11:07 AM
LOL

SNR
04-17-2009, 11:36 AM
Where in my life did I go so wrong to get to this point, thinking that clicking on this thread would be a good idea?Homosexual brainwashings?

blaise
04-17-2009, 11:42 AM
What a great bit of satire. It's almost as if Jonathan Swift wrote it, that's how fantastic it is.

Radar Chief
04-17-2009, 11:45 AM
ROFL :popcorn:

petegz28
04-17-2009, 11:53 AM
Point #7 begs the question of where do gay kids REALLY come from? :hmmm:

Baby Lee
04-17-2009, 11:53 AM
Wait!! I thought George Carlin died.

SNR
04-17-2009, 11:54 AM
What a marvelous bit of satire. It's almost as if Jonathan Swift wrote it, that's how fabulous it is.FYP

SNR
04-17-2009, 11:54 AM
Wait!! I thought George Carlin died.This was Robin Williams, not George Carlin

Bowser
04-17-2009, 12:36 PM
Wait!! I thought George Carlin died.

He's hangin' with Tupac on a beach.

Zebedee DuBois
04-17-2009, 12:43 PM
Who did write this?

I would like to use this elsewhere, and properly cite it.
Thanks.

blaise
04-17-2009, 12:47 PM
Who did write this?

I would like to use this elsewhere, and properly cite it.
Thanks.

Tom Cruise wrote it.

patteeu
04-17-2009, 01:30 PM
Point #7 begs the question of where do gay kids REALLY come from? :hmmm:

You got to point #7? Perseverance, thy name is petegz28.

StcChief
04-17-2009, 09:08 PM
He's hangin' with Tupac on a beach.so there are Beaches just North of hell....