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Tribal Warfare
04-26-2009, 01:45 AM
Jackson first draft of K.C. masterpiece? (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/draft09/columns/story?columnist=chadiha_jeffri&id=4100778)
By Jeffri Chadiha
ESPN.com

KANSAS CITY -- There was no mistaking what Scott Pioli wanted to do with his first pick as general manager of the Kansas City Chiefs.

He wasn't looking for a player who would be a sexy pick. He also claims he wasn't looking to enhance his reputation as a master trader on draft day. Instead, Pioli only cared about finding a player who fit the image he has for this team. On Saturday afternoon, Pioli tried convincing everybody that LSU defensive end Tyson Jackson was that guy.

Of course, time will tell whether Jackson was worthy of being the third overall selection in the 2009 NFL draft. His stock clearly rose over the past few weeks, as he went from a mid- to late-first-round prospect to one with top-five potential. Pioli and new head coach Todd Haley obviously saw him as the most established defensive end in this year's cop. And given the recent history of highly drafted defensive linemen who became busts in Kansas City, they had better be right with this guy.

Chiefs fans know all about disappointments like Ryan Sims, Junior Siavii and Eddie Freeman. They also are trying to be patient with defensive tackle Glenn Dorsey, who was taken fifth overall in the 2008 draft and produced a lackluster rookie campaign. Now they'll put their faith in Jackson, a former college teammate of both Dorsey and Chiefs wide receiver Dwayne Bowe at LSU.

"This was difficult only in the sense that there were a number of great players there [at the third pick]," Pioli said. "We spent the past several days evaluating all these guys, but after all that, we felt [Jackson] was the one player we wanted most."

Pioli said need really was the deciding factor in the Chiefs' decision to select Jackson instead of a player like Wake Forest linebacker Aaron Curry, who many analysts called the safest pick in this draft. The Chiefs want to transition to a 3-4 defense this season after years of playing a 4-3 scheme. They've already started amassing linebackers through free agency. The next step was fortifying a defensive line that didn't have many prototypical 3-4 players in the fold when Pioli succeeded former general manager Carl Peterson.

The obvious benefit of the 6-foot-4, 295-pound Jackson is his versatility. He played defensive end in a 4-3 system at LSU, but the Chiefs think he'll be equally comfortable playing over an offensive tackle in their 3-4 look. They also like Jackson's ability to contribute on all three downs, especially since he can move to defensive tackle on passing downs.

"He's a big, long, strong player who plays sideline to sideline," Haley said. "Those guys don't grow on trees."

That comment ultimately sums up the key to the first draft pick of the Pioli era in Kansas City: The Chiefs selected a player who offers them rare opportunities on the field. The important thing at this stage is tempering the expectations that surely will be foisted upon Jackson once he hits town. After all, a player selected that high is supposed to make an immediate impact on the field. You're talking about a player who likely will receive $30 million in guaranteed money once he signs.

Jackson obviously is anticipating big things, primarily because he's being reunited with Dorsey.

"We won a national championship together and now our goal will be to win a Super Bowl together," he said. But the fact remains that defensive linemen also need some time to adjust to life in the NFL. Most can dominate in college because they're facing inferior athletes. Many learn that such advantages do not exist in the league.

In fact, Pioli pointed out that his former team, the New England Patriots, watched all three of their current star defensive linemen go through their own growing pains as rookies.

It happened to Pro Bowl end Richard Seymour. The same was true for fellow end Ty Warren and nose tackle Vince Wilfork. Those players didn't really blossom in New England's defense until their second and third years, and Pioli anticipates a similar career trajectory for Jackson.

Pioli also mentioned a recent conversation he had with former Dallas Cowboys head coach Jimmy Johnson, who traded up to select defensive tackle Russell Maryland first overall in the 1991 draft. Johnson explained how essential Maryland was to the Cowboys' defensive dominance during their dynasty years in the 1990s. Pioli obviously hopes Jackson can have the same effect on the Chiefs' defensive play in years to come.

"Getting the right guy to play our scheme is what we're after," Pioli said.

Still, the fact is that Jackson might never live up to the price tag that he'll carry into the NFL. People will see all that guaranteed money and expect plenty of bang for that buck. They'll want to see double-digit sack numbers, a bevy of tackles for losses. This is how the league works these days. What fans can see often matters far more than what players actually do.

At his best, Jackson will be a player who makes life easier for everybody around him. He'll occupy blockers, control his gaps and do all the little things that rarely get noticed by the average fans.

"He has some pass rush skills, too," Haley said. "He'll be able to take advantage of some mismatches."

So it should be interesting to see how Jackson develops in Kansas City. It also will be intriguing to learn how fans view this choice three years from now. At first glance, Pioli's first draft pick in Kansas City couldn't have inspired less buzz. What he has to hope now is that fans have the patience to see just where Jackson fits into the Chiefs' master plan.

Mecca
04-26-2009, 02:56 AM
See that...transitioning into the 3-4...we are going to be a 3-4 team it's painfully obvious no more hybrid talk.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:05 AM
See that...transitioning into the 3-4...we are going to be a 3-4 team it's painfully obvious no more hybrid talk.

I've heard that monkeys throw poop. Is this true?

Mecca
04-26-2009, 03:06 AM
I've heard that monkeys throw poop. Is this true.

In that article Scott Pioli says they are transitioning to being a 3-4 team....

What is with people around here lately?

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:07 AM
I've heard that monkeys throw poop. Is this true.


Then you just shoot and kill the monkeys. They made really shitty music anyway.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:08 AM
In that article Scott Pioli says they are transitioning to being a 3-4 team....

What is with people around here lately?


Sir, I respectfully request that you answer my question.

Mecca
04-26-2009, 03:08 AM
Well I think you should get a pet monkey and find out.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:08 AM
Then you just shoot and kill the monkeys. They made really shitty music anyway.


Lol, I was just playing "I'm a believer" on my guitar.

Your words are hurtful. Just hurtful.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:09 AM
See that...transitioning into the 3-4...we are going to be a 3-4 team it's painfully obvious no more hybrid talk.

What I want to know is why this media-hack named his piece "KC Masterpiece"?

No one with one quarter of a barbecuing brain speaks that name without a pre or post spit on the ground to emphasize it's mediocre suckiness and the name of great tradition that Rich Davis mauled like an ass-raping grizzly bear.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:09 AM
Well I think you should get a pet monkey and find out.


But, but, but you know everything else. Please enlighten me on monkey feces tossing..

Mecca
04-26-2009, 03:10 AM
I'm pretty sure he works for NFL network.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:10 AM
What I want to know is why this media-hack named his piece "KC Masterpiece"?

No one with one quarter of a barbecuing brain speaks that name without a pre or post spit on the ground to emphasize it's mediocre suckiness and the name of great tradition that Rich Davis mauled like an ass-raping grizzly bear.


maybe he was hungry

Mecca
04-26-2009, 03:10 AM
But, but, but you know everything else. Please enlighten me on monkey feces tossing..

Oh chill out I don't know everything I'm just going on what that article said.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:10 AM
Then you just shoot and kill the monkeys. They made really shitty music anyway.

Cheer up sleepy Jean.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:11 AM
I'm pretty sure he works for NFL network.

Does he know anything about monkeys throwing poop?

MoreLemonPledge
04-26-2009, 03:11 AM
maybe he was hungry

...for incredibly mediocre ribs.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:12 AM
Oh chill out I don't know everything I'm just going on what that article said.

Wha????

I'm so cold my penis is an inny.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:12 AM
...for incredibly mediocre ribs.


I never said he was tasteful, just hungry.

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:12 AM
Well I think you should get a pet monkey and find out.


http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/5552/281386021cfb062cb3d.jpg

.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:12 AM
maybe he was hungry

Whitlock hijacked the media-fatty table.

Mecca
04-26-2009, 03:13 AM
Ok, people are acting bizarre.

MoreLemonPledge
04-26-2009, 03:13 AM
http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/5552/281386021cfb062cb3d.jpg

.

$18.95! I have to change my tag...

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:13 AM
Lol, I was just playing "I'm a believer" on my guitar.

Your words are hurtful. Just hurtful.


LMAO

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:15 AM
Well I think you should get a pet monkey and find out.

I hear Smed is available.

"Just inject him with our patented 'Monkey Crank', and WATCH HIM GO"!

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:15 AM
$18.95! I have to change my tag...


What they don't tell you, though, is the fact that the poor little guy is shipped via 3-5 day UPS delivery. He is going to be dead upon arrival.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:16 AM
http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/5552/281386021cfb062cb3d.jpg

.

dude that's just f-ing sweet. Sweet I tell you.

MoreLemonPledge
04-26-2009, 03:17 AM
What they don't tell you, though, is the fact that the poor little guy is shipped via 3-5 day UPS delivery. He is going to be dead upon arrival.

$18.95 for a dead hand monkey is better than having no hand monkey.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:17 AM
whomever came up with $18.95 hand monkey it's genius.


Pure genius

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:17 AM
Oh chill out I don't know everything I'm just going on what that article said.

LMAOLMAOLMAO It's hard at the top, ain't it?

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:18 AM
$18.95 for a dead hand monkey is better than having no hand monkey.


More wisdom than I've heard all day.

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:19 AM
$18.95 for a dead hand monkey is better than having no hand monkey.


Truer words have never been written.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:19 AM
"Even likes lollipops"!!!

ROFL

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:22 AM
The real question is how much will the taxidermist charge to stuff the $18.95 dead hand monkey to make it worth your while to get him?

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:23 AM
The real question is how much will the taxidermist charge to stuff the $18.95 dead hand monkey to make it worth your while to get him?


I don't know, but I'm really tempted to find out.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:23 AM
The real question is how much will the taxidermist charge to stuff the $18.95 dead hand monkey to make it worth your while to get him?

Hand Monkey Puppet!

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 03:24 AM
I was gonna make a football comment, but this seems to have become a monkey thread. Time to rename?

MoreLemonPledge
04-26-2009, 03:24 AM
The real question is how much will the taxidermist charge to stuff the $18.95 dead hand monkey to make it worth your while to get him?

Stuff him? No. Better idea:

http://thegarv.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/witchdoctor1.jpg

Witch Doctor. $18.95 Zombie Hand Monkey.

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:24 AM
I was gonna make a football comment, but this seems to have become a monkey thread. Time to rename?

Can it not be both?

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:26 AM
Stuff him? No. Better idea:

http://thegarv.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/witchdoctor1.jpg

Witch Doctor. $18.95 Zombie Hand Monkey.



Yeah, but then you will turn into zombie after the little guy inevitably bites you.

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 03:26 AM
Can it not be both?

NO. Choose now.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:27 AM
Stuff him? No. Better idea:

http://thegarv.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/witchdoctor1.jpg

Witch Doctor. $18.95 Zombie Hand Monkey.

Practical AND decorative!

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 03:27 AM
NO. Choose now.

J/K.... What kind of choice is that??

















Monkey Time!!!!!!!!!

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:27 AM
I was gonna make a football comment, but this seems to have become a monkey thread. Time to rename?


Don't hate on monkeys Llama lover.

It's all some of us have left.

MoreLemonPledge
04-26-2009, 03:28 AM
Yeah, but then you will turn into zombie after the little guy inevitably bites you.

And that's a risk I'm willing to take.

On a completely related note, if you type hand monkey into google image search, you get this (WARNING: MAY GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES):

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/189/455043770_594d013105.jpg?v=0

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:28 AM
NO. Choose now.

DCS votes for Hand Monkey!

Wait,
What?

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 03:28 AM
Don't hate on monkeys Llama lover.

It's all some of us have left.

LMAO I love your sig.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:28 AM
Stuff him? No. Better idea:

http://thegarv.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/witchdoctor1.jpg

Witch Doctor. $18.95 Zombie Hand Monkey.

Who is that? Tamba Hali?

Mecca
04-26-2009, 03:29 AM
You guys know the draft restarts in about 4 and a half hours right?

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:30 AM
And that's a risk I'm willing to take.

On a completely related note, if you type hand monkey into google image search, you get this (WARNING: MAY GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES):

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/189/455043770_594d013105.jpg?v=0

KoalapandaFerritgerbel!!!!

MoreLemonPledge
04-26-2009, 03:30 AM
You guys know the draft restarts in about 4 and a half hours right?

Yeah, I need to go to sleep.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:30 AM
And that's a risk I'm willing to take.

On a completely related note, if you type hand monkey into google image search, you get this (WARNING: MAY GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES):

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/189/455043770_594d013105.jpg?v=0



It's does give me nightmares. I'm all like bitch, I send you my child support. How about you buy my kid some clothes with it instead of you, but I digress.

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 03:30 AM
Tags are on?? I'm excited! I'm such a n00b I've only heard about these babies.

MoreLemonPledge
04-26-2009, 03:30 AM
KoalapandaFerritgerbel!!!!

LMAO My new favorite animal!

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:31 AM
You guys know the draft restarts in about 4 and a half hours right?

I got plenty of sleep after the third pick. Didn't miss nothing.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:31 AM
You guys know the draft restarts in about 4 and a half hours right?

At 7-8-9AM?????

Now that's just weird.

Mecca
04-26-2009, 03:32 AM
It starts at 9...........9-5.

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:32 AM
At 7-8-9AM?????

Now that's just weird.


The NFL is screwing with the time matrix.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:32 AM
LMAO I love your sig.


Why thank you. Previously I had a reference about will franklin (kinda joke about clifford franklin from the replacements)

Pioli screwed me. I want CP back now.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:33 AM
I got plenty of sleep after the third pick. Didn't miss nothing.

Man, you ain't shittin!

This was one weird, WEIRD fucking round one and two.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:33 AM
It starts at 9...........9-5.


Will Dolly Parton be involved?

I hear it's a way to make a living.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:34 AM
It starts at 9...........9-5.

That's a punishment I am willing to sleep through.

Goldmember
04-26-2009, 03:37 AM
http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/5552/281386021cfb062cb3d.jpg

.

LMFAO I always wanted one of those as a kid, then my neighbor's monkey bit me because I teased him and that was the end of it

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 03:37 AM
It starts at 9...........9-5.

That's no way to make a livin!!



http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/3412/dollyp.jpg

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 03:38 AM
Will Dolly Parton be involved?

I hear it's a way to make a living.

Beat me to the Dolly Parton reference! I don't know who wins that one. :hmmm:

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:39 AM
That's no way to make a livin!!



http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/3412/dollyp.jpg


I would still do her, but Lily Tomlin has to videotape it.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:40 AM
Beat me to the Dolly Parton reference! I don't know who wins that one. :hmmm:

And yet she still looks better than Loni Anderson.

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:42 AM
mmmm I also love Loni Anderson. Decisions. Decisions.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:43 AM
mmmm I also love Loni Anderson. Decisions. Decisions.

Circa 79'. No blonde hotter.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:45 AM
Sometimes I just feel like a honky drove the last sky blue Caddy off the lot.

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:46 AM
Circa 79'. No blonde hotter.


Damn straight.

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 03:46 AM
You guys know the draft restarts in about 4 and a half hours right?

By "restarts" do you mean we have another shot to draft Curry?

Crush
04-26-2009, 03:47 AM
By "restarts" do you mean we have another shot to draft Curry?


The Time Displacement Equipment only works once, so you have to get it right.

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:49 AM
Circa 79'. No blonde hotter.


This.

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 03:52 AM
Circa 79'. No blonde hotter.

http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/8131/ianz.jpg

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:53 AM
By "restarts" do you mean we have another shot to draft Curry?

Couldn't I just eat some razor blade-laced apples and call it good for all the Chiefs Nation instead?

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 03:56 AM
Couldn't I just eat some razor blade-laced apples and call it good for all the Chiefs Nation instead?

I think a lot of people on here would call that "good for all the Chiefs Nation." ;)

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 03:58 AM
I think a lot of people on here would call that "good for all the Chiefs Nation." ;)

You might have just earned my place in the lottery with that picture of...that picture of...Willy Ames???

J Diddy
04-26-2009, 03:59 AM
Couldn't I just eat some razor blade-laced apples and call it good for all the Chiefs Nation instead?

That would be some explosive diarrhea.

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 04:01 AM
You might have just earned my place in the lottery with that picture of...that picture of...Willy Ames???

Ian Ziering!!! Of 90210 and "Side Order of Life" Fame!!!

He never gets the credit he deserves!!!:banghead::banghead:

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 04:01 AM
That would be some explosive diarrhea.

That's some Top Secret Ninja Diarrhea if aimed properly.

T-post Tom
04-26-2009, 04:03 AM
You might have just earned my place in the lottery with that picture of...that picture of...Willy Ames???

No dude, that's Jody Foster before the sugery.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 04:03 AM
Ian Ziering!!! Of 90210 and "Side Order of Life" Fame!!!

He never gets the credit he deserves!!!:banghead::banghead:

LMAOLMAOLMAO

Wasn't he the good kid on that show that wasn't fucking anyone hot?

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 04:04 AM
OK.... I'm watching TV and an eXtenZe infomercial just started! I am so excited. The commercials are probably my favorite. Now I just get to kick back and watch that same actor pimp this shit for 30 minutes straight!!!

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 04:04 AM
LMAOLMAOLMAO

Wasn't he the good kid on that show that wasn't ****ing anyone hot?

Don't forget latently gay!!

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 04:05 AM
No dude, that's Jody Foster before the sugery.

ROFL

Hanging out with Keitel and Deniro as a kid? I can't say I'm surprised that ship took a voyage to the Isle of Lesbia.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 04:08 AM
Don't forget latently gay!!

I bet he couldn't even get any tail at Spelling's mansion after-parties.

That is however just speculation.

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 04:08 AM
OK.... I'm watching TV and an eXtenZe infomercial just started! I am so excited. The commercials are probably my favorite. Now I just get to kick back and watch that same actor pimp this shit for 30 minutes straight!!!

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vQAlnb85Op8&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vQAlnb85Op8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 04:12 AM
<object width="425" height="344">


<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vQAlnb85Op8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></object>

"Honey, you're just too schnozzy for porn, and you little man threaten NO MAN's masculinity; I've got just the gig for you two"!!!!

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 04:13 AM
I bet he couldn't even get any tail at Spelling's mansion after-parties.

That is however just speculation.

Thanks for clarifying. I thought you might be speaking from personal experience.

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 04:15 AM
"Honey, you're just too schnozzy for porn, and you little man threaten NO MAN's masculinity; I've got just the gig for you two"!!!!

Makes a "certain part of the male body" larger.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 04:16 AM
Thanks for clarifying. I thought you might be speaking from personal experience.

Hey, there was a point in time with the right drugs and booze that I could have EASILY tapped Tori Spelling's ass!!!

I've seen pictures of that crazy bitch in her heyday!

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 04:18 AM
Hey, there was a point in time with the right drugs and booze that I could have EASILY tapped Tori Spelling's ass!!!

I've seen pictures of that crazy bitch in her heyday!

The time is NOW! Make it happen!!

(Post Pics)

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 04:18 AM
Oh SHIT!!! Dr. Daniel Stein M.D. is about to weigh in on the medical benefits of eXtenZe!!!

(edit: the weird part is that I recognize Dr. Stein from several Sci-Fi channel movies.)

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 04:19 AM
Makes a "certain part of the male body" larger.

That's nothing the right lady, a bottle of good wine, and the proper Isaac Hayes mix couldn't accomplish.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 04:21 AM
Oh SHIT!!! Dr. Daniel Stein M.D. is about to weigh in on the medical benefits of eXtenZe!!!

(edit: the weird part is that I recognize Dr. Stein from several Sci-Fi channel movies.)

LMAOLMAOLMAO "Dr. Schlongensteins Gadget Grower".

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 04:23 AM
LMAOLMAOLMAO "Dr. Schlongensteins Gadget Grower".

He says he gives it to all his patients, in case you were wondering. Take that naysayers!!! I just e-signed a money order for three years worth of penis medicine!!

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 04:27 AM
He says he gives it to all his patients, in case you were wondering. Take that naysayers!!! I just e-signed a money order for three years worth of penis medicine!!

ROFLROFLROFL "Fuck the stocks and bonds, I gots' some Dr. Schlongs"!!!!

Fine investment young man!

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 04:28 AM
ROFLROFLROFL "**** the stocks and bonds, I gots' some Dr. Schlongs"!!!!

Fine investment young man!

I better call Tori Spelling and give it a test drive.

Raised On Riots
04-26-2009, 04:31 AM
I better call Tori Spelling and give it a test drive.

LMAO Alright; I'm out for the night. See ya' next round!

kysirsoze
04-26-2009, 04:32 AM
LMAO Alright; I'm out for the night. See ya' next round!

I guess I am too. Peace.