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View Full Version : Poop Oxymorons... post your favorites


JOhn
04-29-2009, 10:47 PM
I was talking to a friend today and we got to talking about strange stuff, oxymorons and just wierd life questions...

Why does hawai have an interstate system?

Why is there Brail lettering on the drive up ATM?

or my favorite oxymorons.....

Pygmy Mammoth
Intricate Simplicity
Empty Load
Mandatory Option

or Oxymoronic Quotes.......

I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again.
Change is the only Constant.

crazycoffey
04-29-2009, 10:52 PM
military intelligence

KcKing
04-29-2009, 10:53 PM
Dammit Scott

ForeverChiefs58
04-29-2009, 10:54 PM
you park on a driveway, and drive on a parkway

Simply Red
04-29-2009, 10:56 PM
fresh-frozen

Simply Red
04-29-2009, 10:57 PM
great taste, less filling

KcKing
04-29-2009, 10:57 PM
Evaporated Milk...

JOhn
04-29-2009, 11:00 PM
WHY DO THEY STERILIZE THE NEEDLES FOR LETHAL INJECTION?

rad
04-29-2009, 11:01 PM
Organized chaos

ForeverChiefs58
04-29-2009, 11:01 PM
In springfield I once saw a street crossing sign that said crossing for the blind. I always pictured a blind guy walking by going "oh, here is where they put that f@#$ crossing at! I've been looking everywhere for it!"
Here in florida they have a sign for bear crossing, but I have never seen any that use it.

"Bob" Dobbs
04-29-2009, 11:02 PM
How does a blind person know when they're done wiping their ass?

JOhn
04-29-2009, 11:09 PM
Click the 'Start' button to Shut Down the computer.

KCChiefsMan
04-29-2009, 11:10 PM
How does a blind person know when they're done wiping their ass?

smell. taste. touch.

"Bob" Dobbs
04-29-2009, 11:12 PM
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

Reaper16
04-29-2009, 11:13 PM
military intelligence
"Two words combined that can't make sense. Possibly, I see too much. Hangar 18, I know too much." :rockon:

ForeverChiefs58
04-29-2009, 11:14 PM
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?


better yet, what would your ass look like?

ForeverChiefs58
04-29-2009, 11:18 PM
a woman who wants to be your best friend, yet hates it when you refer to her as a female dog when everybody knows a dog is a man's best friend....just doesn't make sense.

stlchiefs
04-29-2009, 11:23 PM
Caffeine Free Mountain Dew

JOhn
04-29-2009, 11:23 PM
Wireless Cable :shrug:

"Bob" Dobbs
04-29-2009, 11:25 PM
jumbo shrimp

JOhn
04-29-2009, 11:56 PM
Always be on the lookout for the obvious.


Always remember you're unique .. just like everyone else!

Crush
04-30-2009, 01:25 AM
This prescription medication will help you control your (insert the name of any disorder).

Possible side effects include diarrhea, smelly taint, loss of hair, runny nose, bloody nose, unsafe drop in blood pressure, an erection lasting for more than four hours, nausea, excessive vomiting, weak and/or inconsistent urination, blood in urine, blood in feces, blurred vision, severe muscle pain, itchy eyes...

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2009, 03:12 AM
skinny broad
pretty ugly
damaged goods
christian scientists
rap music

Pioli Zombie
04-30-2009, 05:34 AM
I always loved those road signs that say SLOW CHILD.
When I was little I thought it was pretty mean to humiliate the poor kid like that.
Posted via Mobile Device

Pioli Zombie
04-30-2009, 05:36 AM
This prescription medication will help you control your (insert the name of any disorder).

Possible side effects include diarrhea, smelly taint, loss of hair, runny nose, bloody nose, unsafe drop in blood pressure, an erection lasting for more than four hours, nausea, excessive vomiting, weak and/or inconsistent urination, blood in urine, blood in feces, blurred vision, severe muscle pain, itchy eyes...

You know I never heard those types of commercials until after SNL did Happy Funball. I swear they are a joke.
Posted via Mobile Device

beach tribe
04-30-2009, 05:37 AM
I'd give my left hand to be ambidextrous.

The_Doctor10
04-30-2009, 05:42 AM
Jets Pro Bowl QB Brett Favre

ILChief
04-30-2009, 05:46 AM
Sweet Tarts

badgirl
04-30-2009, 06:22 AM
I always question why they have books that have advertisements about where to go learn to read. I mean how are you gonna read their advertisement if you can't read!!

ping2000
04-30-2009, 07:08 AM
Restaurants that post signs (non-talking) that state "Braille menus available". How does a blind person read that sign? Also, braille on DRIVE THROUGH ATM machines.

ForeverChiefs58
04-30-2009, 07:16 AM
Last week my computer went down with no service, I called customer service and she said next time I should use the customer service help online. How could I do that if I have no service?

ForeverChiefs58
04-30-2009, 07:22 AM
I bought a bottle of superglue, on the back it says "Do not eat glue". Sucks cause I was a little hungry too.

bevischief
04-30-2009, 07:52 AM
Online tech support for your computer...

Mr. Plow
04-30-2009, 07:52 AM
Last week my computer went down with no service, I called customer service and she said next time I should use the customer service help online. How could I do that if I have no service?


Along the same lines.....

My internet went down a week ago. I called to get some help, I got a message that said "Get help from the web at www......"

RippedmyFlesh
04-30-2009, 09:03 AM
Herm edwards Head Coach

htismaqe
04-30-2009, 09:10 AM
Along the same lines.....

My internet went down a week ago. I called to get some help, I got a message that said "Get help from the web at www......"

I used to get about one call a week when I was in tech support from people who had tried to email us about the fact that they couldn't retrieve their email.

htismaqe
04-30-2009, 09:10 AM
I used to snicker every time I saw a certain company's 18-wheeler on the interstate. The name of the company was Collective Distribution.

Kerberos
04-30-2009, 09:19 AM
Oxymorons... post your favorites.

Hootie uses OxyClean?

Dr. Facebook Fever
04-30-2009, 09:31 AM
World Champion Oakland Raiders/Denver Broncos

greg63
04-30-2009, 09:45 AM
Microsoft Works.

Dave Lane
04-30-2009, 09:55 AM
Head Coach Herm Edwards

Dave Lane
04-30-2009, 10:00 AM
Herm edwards Head Coach

Damn it !!

kcfanXIII
04-30-2009, 10:04 AM
actually, i think i more appropriate oxymoron regarding herm is:


herm edwards, football analyst. obviously from his record in kc, he doesn't analyze much.

kaplin42
04-30-2009, 10:08 AM
Sending an email out about the email being down.


Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball ~ Lyrics from Champagne Super Nova by Oasis

Garcia Bronco
04-30-2009, 10:25 AM
Civil War
Jumbo Shrimp
Cheap Date
Good Bad Guy (Think Darth Vader)

greg63
04-30-2009, 10:29 AM
Icy Hot.

Fritz88
04-30-2009, 10:31 AM
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

How would you go down the stairs if your butt cheeks were flipped 90 degrees?

Fritz88
04-30-2009, 10:31 AM
men tities.

RippedmyFlesh
04-30-2009, 11:04 AM
Damn it !!
for $64 which is the oxy and which is the moron?

Stewie
04-30-2009, 11:12 AM
Good Grief

cookster50
04-30-2009, 12:49 PM
intelligent chiefsplanet poster

ClevelandBronco
04-30-2009, 01:00 PM
Restaurants that post signs (non-talking) that state "Braille menus available". How does a blind person read that sign? Also, braille on DRIVE THROUGH ATM machines.

And "ATM machines" when the "M" stands for "machine."

ClevelandBronco
04-30-2009, 01:02 PM
It's like a VIN number. Or a PIN number...

ClevelandBronco
04-30-2009, 01:03 PM
Hot water heater.

Why would you heat hot water?

Hydrae
04-30-2009, 01:29 PM
For those from the Northeast - wicked good

SDChiefs
04-30-2009, 03:07 PM
Country Music

rad
04-30-2009, 03:10 PM
Draft grade

talastan
04-30-2009, 03:15 PM
common sense

Valiant
04-30-2009, 03:15 PM
Lets see..

Rooster
04-30-2009, 03:15 PM
Hot water heater.

Why would you heat hot water?

This one is more of a pet peeve of mine. I just want to slap people who say hot water heater.

ForeverChiefs58
04-30-2009, 03:19 PM
for the guys who have ex's:

a good woman or perfect woman

Rain Man
04-30-2009, 09:59 PM
Cornerback William Bartee.

Nightfyre
04-30-2009, 10:03 PM
fresh-frozen

Shit that was a good episode of Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares.

JOhn
04-30-2009, 11:38 PM
Fuzzy Logic

Growing Smaller

Minor Disaster

Crush
04-30-2009, 11:43 PM
friendly fire

Crush
04-30-2009, 11:44 PM
Defensive Guru Gunther Cunningham

chasedude
05-01-2009, 04:07 AM
Controlled Chaos

rad
05-01-2009, 08:03 AM
Controlled Chaos

Dude.


Post #9....

Coach
05-01-2009, 08:05 AM
Combat Zone.

kepp
05-01-2009, 08:10 AM
KU education

greg63
05-01-2009, 08:02 PM
Quiet Riot

greg63
05-01-2009, 08:04 PM
Random order

JOhn
05-02-2009, 09:23 AM
Advanced BASIC :hmmm:




Amicable Divorce LMAO

StcChief
05-02-2009, 09:32 AM
World Champion Royals.

Mile High Mania
05-02-2009, 09:45 AM
Holy hell... typewriter... climb down... doing nothing... graduate student... junk food.

milkman
05-02-2009, 10:08 AM
Sensible Chief.

CanadaKC
05-02-2009, 11:25 AM
Military intelligence

FAX
05-02-2009, 11:27 AM
Lone Ranger and Tonto

FAX

FAX
05-02-2009, 11:28 AM
Touchdown, Kansas City.

FAX

vailpass
05-02-2009, 12:08 PM
The two manhole covers outside of my children's school are labeled
"sanitary sewer".

unothadeal
05-02-2009, 12:14 PM
"Could care less" pisses me off.

Slainte
05-02-2009, 12:23 PM
Special teams genius Mike Stock.

CoMoChief
05-02-2009, 12:25 PM
Practice makes perfect.

But no one is perfect so why practice?

chasedude
05-03-2009, 01:56 PM
Dude.


Post #9....

I like the "ring" to Controlled Chaos better, sorry.