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Ari Chi3fs
05-06-2009, 09:21 AM
IDIOT SIGHTING:

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter..
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said,
'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at MacD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2
horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING :

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already got that side..'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE

KCChiefsMan
05-06-2009, 09:25 AM
these are the people reproducing at least 5x more often than intelligent people.

Skip Towne
05-06-2009, 09:27 AM
ROFL

L.A. Chieffan
05-06-2009, 09:28 AM
If somebody asked me for 'minimal lettuce' I'd give her a fucked up answer too.

Dartgod
05-06-2009, 09:30 AM
these are the people reproducing at least 5x more often than intelligent people.
They're reproducing 5 year old chain emails too.

KcFanInGA
05-06-2009, 09:37 AM
They're reproducing 5 year old chain emails too.

Ouch! :)

Ari Chi3fs
05-06-2009, 09:38 AM
They're reproducing 5 year old chain emails too.

heh.

Redrum_69
05-06-2009, 09:46 AM
IDIOT SIGHTING:

Someone over at Wapaint Illustrated made an idiotic statement to ESPN a few months back, and said person was blasted by the local and national sports channels. We wont say who that persons name was..but it rhymes with Dick Naythan

milkman
05-06-2009, 09:50 AM
these are the people reproducing at least 5x more often than intelligent people.

Stupid people need love too.

It's just a damn shame that rubbers are too complex for them to use.

Demonpenz
05-06-2009, 10:39 AM
I asked for a delicious apples at hi vee and the person was like sir they are all delicious

PhillyChiefFan
05-06-2009, 10:49 AM
My cousin got a flat tire, when AAA showed up, she asked the guy if it was flat on the bottom, does that mean it's flat the whole way around.

True story.

T-post Tom
05-06-2009, 11:04 AM
A coworker told me a funny story:

Coworker (at deli counter): "I'd like 8 ounces of the honey baked ham."
Deli Clerk: "Sorry sir, we only sell 1/2 pounds and pounds."

EyePod
05-06-2009, 11:57 AM
IDIOT SIGHTING:

Someone over at Wapaint Illustrated made an idiotic statement to ESPN a few months back, and said person was blasted by the local and national sports channels. We wont say who that persons name was..but it rhymes with Dick Naythan

Wasn't that made to someone over at NFL, not ESPN?

EyePod
05-06-2009, 11:58 AM
Stupid people need love too.

It's just a damn shame that rubbers are too complex for them to use.

That's not the problem. The problem is that they're Catholic and would go to hell if they used them!

Crush
05-06-2009, 12:10 PM
http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn49/axl000111/Motivational%20Posters/vagina_its_not_a_clown_car.jpg

Simplex3
05-06-2009, 12:13 PM
IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

When I was fresh on a new client's site I went to lunch with of the employees who offered to drive since he had a handicapped plate. I couldn't see anything particularly wrong with the guy, but agreed. After getting back from one of the scariest rides of my life both to and from the restaurant I asked someone else if they knew why he had a handicapped plate. "Oh, he's nearly legally blind."

Arsonist
05-06-2009, 12:16 PM
ROFL

ArrowheadHawk
05-06-2009, 12:29 PM
Good stuff.

bevischief
05-06-2009, 12:44 PM
ROFL

bobbymitch
05-06-2009, 12:56 PM
I'll tell one on me.

Back in the day, I had to investigate the collapse of a half-dozen or so chicken houses from a recent ice storm. I arrive in below freezing temps and the chicken carcasses are still everywhere. Thankfully, it was cold enough to minimize any decomp smell. As I looked at all the dead birds, I mentioned that I was glad that it wasn't the middle of August as the smell would have been terrible. The farmer looked at me and "Son, we hardly get any ice storms in August."

Simply Red
05-06-2009, 01:06 PM
is this something you created? if so; nice thread.

excessive
05-06-2009, 02:32 PM
One of my students submitted a plagiarized paper. When confronted with the evidence (it took about 30 seconds to find online), she swore that it was okay because she had purchased it. When I tried to explain to her why that wasn't allowed, she replied, "But I have the receipt!"

Chief Faithful
05-06-2009, 03:19 PM
I called Avis to find out if I could rent a car in Atlanta, drive it to New Mexico, then drop it off in Phoenix? The response was I could drive it to Phoenix, but I could not take the car to New Mexico because the car must remain in the country.

After several unsuccessful tries to convince the Avis rep. that New Mexico was part of the US I asked to speak to the supervisor. The supervisor got on the phone and immediately informed me that I could not drive the car through New Mexico because I was not allow to take the car out of the US.

I also enjoy all the signs I've seen lately that say something costs $.01c.

sedated
05-06-2009, 03:39 PM
Idiot sightings = Here's your sign

Inspector
05-06-2009, 03:59 PM
I was once asked if Mt. Rushmore was carved.

I replied, "No, that's wind erosion".

She bought that answer.....and wasn't even blonde.

jidar
05-06-2009, 04:04 PM
Hold on.. wait a minute I think I need to check the meter on this one..

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3133/2902643161_b32c32b070.jpg


Ohhhhh yeah.. yep, there it is. That's just what I thought.

SNR
05-06-2009, 04:04 PM
Guess who said all the things in that e-mail?

Robin Williams

ForeverChiefs58
05-06-2009, 04:19 PM
I thought it was George Carlin who emailed these to a friend the night before he died.

Fritz88
05-06-2009, 04:43 PM
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been
locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic
working
feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered
that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its
open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already got that side..'

ROFL

AndChiefs
05-06-2009, 04:44 PM
My family and I were taking a tour of a navy cruiser down in San Diego. When the sailor showed us the harpoon she asked why they were hunting whales when she thought it was illegal.

Jenson71
05-06-2009, 04:44 PM
One time I took my dog to the vet, and I put him up there on the bench, the vet put the collar thing on that makes him stay up, and I kept saying "Lay down, boy, lay down" and pushed his head down a little and the vet said "He's saying 'I can't cause of the collar!'" Yeah I felt like a moron. :)

SNR
05-06-2009, 06:52 PM
I thought it was George Carlin who emailed these to a friend the night before he died.That too