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luv
05-06-2009, 08:34 PM
http://blogs.sfweekly.com/shookdown/2008/05/happy_masturbation_month.php


http://blogs.sfweekly.com/shookdown/optimus-prime-masturbation.thumbnail.jpg

So May is "Masturbation Month" which means business as usual for most of our fine readers (and writers), but for those of you who truly want to celebrate, here are a few dates to mark on your calendars:

Saturday, May 3, 7Ė10pm - Opening reception for "I Touch Myself," a collection of erotic photos, steamy paintings and illustration at Femina Potens. Details here.

Thursday, May 8, 6:30pm - Ask The Doctors - Dr. Carol Queen and Dr. Robert Lawrence discuss the ins and outs of masturbation. Details here.

Sunday, May 25, 3pm - The 7th Annual Masturbate-A-Thon - Make some money for the Center For Sex & Culture by pledging your support for your favorite wanker. OR, sign up to masturbate on camera for the cause. Details here.


Anytime of the month - Post a Twittergasm and shame all your prudish friends.

Weekly Clubs Editor John Graham is surprised that Kleenex, Jergens, Johnson & Johnson, and/or any number of lubricant or shower massage-nozzle companies haven't seized the obvious marketing opportunities. Maybe they'll wise up while the month is young? That'll be the day. But then again this is San Francisco. --Janine Kahn



http://sexuality.about.com/b/2006/05/01/may-is-national-masturbation-month.htm


Masturbation has had a colorful history . By far the most commonly practiced sexual behavior around the world, masturbation has gone from being ignored to being vilified, from a mental illness to a tool of womenís empowerment, celebrated with its very own month of the year.

Yet there remains a great deal of ignorance and misinformation regarding masturbation. Take a first step towards a happy masturbation month by clearing your mind of any myths about masturbation you may still be holding on to.

Sexual health educators often refer to masturbation as the cornerstone of sexual health. Throughout the month of May I'll be featuring information, reviews, and tips and techniques honoring the art and science of self love.

88TG88
05-06-2009, 08:38 PM
WTF is a twittergasm ?

FAX
05-06-2009, 08:39 PM
Beware the Masturbation Month of May, peeps.

A lot of folks will be driving blind.

FAX

luv
05-06-2009, 08:39 PM
WTF is a twittergasm ?

Gives a new meaning to "tweeting".

Marcellus
05-06-2009, 08:44 PM
Eh, I already got a 4 month head start. I thought 2009 was "Beat It Like It Owes You Money" year. :shrug:

Hog Farmer
05-06-2009, 08:44 PM
Oh great , I guess this means my work load will increase.

Dinny Blues
05-06-2009, 08:50 PM
Just wondering.

If male masturbation can be called jacking off, is female masturbation jilling off?

The killer bees on saturday night live accused Billy of buzzing off, but I'm not sure if he was using a vibrator.

Dinny

JOhn
05-06-2009, 08:52 PM
Cool, I have a reason now :whackit:

Crush
05-06-2009, 08:53 PM
That is going to be a shitload of jizz.

luv
05-06-2009, 08:53 PM
I think my favorite part of either little blog was the picture of Optimus Prime...lol.

Simply Red
05-06-2009, 09:05 PM
fucking awesome, IM IN LUCK!!!!!!!!!


BRB

MahiMike
05-06-2009, 09:19 PM
Hang on, I'll be right back...

StcChief
05-06-2009, 10:06 PM
Oh great , I guess this means my work load will increase.Horny Hogs...that doesn't sound good.

Pioli Zombie
05-06-2009, 10:10 PM
My record is 5 in 90. I was 19. But it involved a chick. Does that count?
Posted via Mobile Device

luv
05-06-2009, 10:13 PM
My record is 5 in 90. I was 19. But it involved a chick. Does that count?
Posted via Mobile Device

Masturbation = Self Love

Pioli Zombie
05-06-2009, 10:15 PM
Masturbation = Self Love
So if you get "help" its "third base"

I need a ruling please.
Posted via Mobile Device

luv
05-06-2009, 10:17 PM
So if you get "help" its "third base"

I need a ruling please.
Posted via Mobile Device

Getting a hand/blow job does not count.

MoreLemonPledge
05-06-2009, 10:18 PM
Getting a hand/blow job does not count.

What about a vagina job?

Baconeater
05-06-2009, 10:19 PM
Cool, I have a reason now :whackit:
Pffft...like I've ever needed one...:rolleyes:

luv
05-06-2009, 10:23 PM
Pffft...like I've ever needed one...:rolleyes:

I've always used necessity as a reason.

whoman69
05-06-2009, 10:42 PM
Cool, I have a reason now :whackit:

Like that was necessary.

Pioli Zombie
05-06-2009, 10:48 PM
Who's the strangest "object of affection" you've masturbated about?

Mine was probably Kitty Dukakis
Posted via Mobile Device

Mr. Krab
05-06-2009, 10:51 PM
Every month is masturbation month.

Pioli Zombie
05-06-2009, 10:54 PM
Oh my God, George!!! What are you doing?????????????
Posted via Mobile Device

Pioli Zombie
05-06-2009, 11:09 PM
I have a date with "Sarah Palin" tonight I think.
Posted via Mobile Device

T-post Tom
05-06-2009, 11:43 PM
Does posting in this thread qualify as masturbation? JIMP !!!

EyePod
05-07-2009, 08:06 AM
I think my favorite part of either little blog was the picture of Optimus Prime...lol.

That picture is amazing.

luv
05-07-2009, 08:10 AM
That picture is amazing.

Amazing? :spock:

Katipan
05-07-2009, 08:19 AM
Every month is masturbation month.

I haven't had to masturbate in months!
I love the honeymoon period.

luv
05-07-2009, 08:26 AM
I haven't had to masturbate in months!
I love the honeymoon period.

:grr:

Katipan
05-07-2009, 08:40 AM
:grr:

It'll fade I'm sure. :D

Hog Farmer
05-07-2009, 04:37 PM
Every month is masturbation month.


What a sicko !

Donger
05-07-2009, 04:38 PM
I guess I picked the wrong month to stop jerking off.

bogey
05-07-2009, 04:40 PM
Oh great , I guess this means my work load will increase.

ROFL

big nasty kcnut
05-07-2009, 04:50 PM
It's tough cause i have a vivid imagination.
Posted via Mobile Device

Mr. Plow
05-07-2009, 04:52 PM
I'm masturbating while reading this thread.































PS.......Happy Masturbation Month from the Bahamas!!!!

gblowfish
05-07-2009, 04:57 PM
Remind me not to shake hands with anybody for a few weeks....

DA_T_84
05-07-2009, 05:57 PM
Finally..... I wait every year for May!

It's been 11 months!!!!

listopencil
05-07-2009, 06:06 PM
:grr:


Need a hand, love?

listopencil
05-07-2009, 06:09 PM
So if you get "help" its "third base"

I need a ruling please.
Posted via Mobile Device


Definitions of Mutual Masturbation on the Web:


Non-penetrative sex (also known as outercourse and dry sex) is sexual activity without vaginal, anal, and oral penetration, as opposed to ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutual_Masturbation (http://www.google.com/url?sa=X&start=0&oi=define&q=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutual_Masturbation&usg=AFQjCNE0noiKLsFeKDwG8G658U_2hmq-xw)
A sexual activity in which two or more persons simultaneously masturbate themselves, usually while observing or otherwise communicating with one another; A sexual activity in which two or more persons simultaneously masturbate one another
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mutual_masturbation (http://www.google.com/url?sa=X&start=1&oi=define&q=http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mutual_masturbation&usg=AFQjCNFRgUTS-EB9Js-rPoxIgjc3pHlU9Q)
Attributive form of mutual masturbation, noun
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mutual-masturbation (http://www.google.com/url?sa=X&start=2&oi=define&q=http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mutual-masturbation&usg=AFQjCNEtOnCH0O3Gy8BW7nmgMzkNoAjFiw)
sexual activity in which partners stimulate each otherís genitals with hands or sex toys.
www.seximus.ro/dictionary/sex_dictionary_letter_m.php (http://www.google.com/url?sa=X&start=3&oi=define&q=http://www.seximus.ro/dictionary/sex_dictionary_letter_m.php&usg=AFQjCNHRpLxGPBgHMX5TqLAAFNBHrzUMTA)

burt
05-07-2009, 06:29 PM
Hang on, I'll be right back...

What, exactly, do you want us to hold on to?

Mr. Plow
05-07-2009, 06:35 PM
Finally..... I wait every year for May!

It's been 11 months!!!!



Beat that cock like it owes you money.

DA_T_84
05-07-2009, 06:40 PM
sometimes I beat my money like it owes me cock.

Not because i need the cock, but just because of the principle.

bevischief
05-07-2009, 08:01 PM
Every month is masturbation month.

They do both start with m...

:D

luv
05-07-2009, 08:15 PM
Need a hand, love?

I've got a hand. What I need is a man. :)

Hog Farmer
05-07-2009, 08:37 PM
I've got a hand. What I need is a man. :)

When I'm done with Badgirl can I come visit ?

chasedude
05-07-2009, 08:45 PM
Definitions of Mutual Masturbation on the Web:


Non-penetrative sex (also known as outercourse and dry sex) is sexual activity without vaginal, anal, and oral penetration, as opposed to ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutual_Masturbation (http://www.google.com/url?sa=X&start=0&oi=define&q=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutual_Masturbation&usg=AFQjCNE0noiKLsFeKDwG8G658U_2hmq-xw)
A sexual activity in which two or more persons simultaneously masturbate themselves, usually while observing or otherwise communicating with one another; A sexual activity in which two or more persons simultaneously masturbate one another
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mutual_masturbation (http://www.google.com/url?sa=X&start=1&oi=define&q=http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mutual_masturbation&usg=AFQjCNFRgUTS-EB9Js-rPoxIgjc3pHlU9Q)
Attributive form of mutual masturbation, noun
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mutual-masturbation (http://www.google.com/url?sa=X&start=2&oi=define&q=http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mutual-masturbation&usg=AFQjCNEtOnCH0O3Gy8BW7nmgMzkNoAjFiw)
sexual activity in which partners stimulate each otherís genitals with hands or sex toys.
www.seximus.ro/dictionary/sex_dictionary_letter_m.php (http://www.google.com/url?sa=X&start=3&oi=define&q=http://www.seximus.ro/dictionary/sex_dictionary_letter_m.php&usg=AFQjCNHRpLxGPBgHMX5TqLAAFNBHrzUMTA)


Would the Double Dutch Rudder fit in there somewhere?

Pioli Zombie
05-07-2009, 09:37 PM
Life is about love. Its about connection. Its not about shit stained balls.
Posted via Mobile Device

luv
05-07-2009, 10:33 PM
When I'm done with Badgirl can I come visit ?

I'm gonna go ahead and say no.

FAX
05-08-2009, 01:47 AM
You know, I never knew until this thread was created that May is Masturbation Month.

But, it sure explains why June is the Pay The Porn Bills Month.

FAX

Comanche
05-08-2009, 07:15 AM
I've got a hand. What I need is a man. :)

Well, you have yourself for starters! ROFL

http://www.johnmariani.com/archive/2007/070204/tootsie.jpg

luv
05-08-2009, 07:18 AM
Well, you have yourself for starters! ROFL

http://www.johnmariani.com/archive/2007/070204/tootsie.jpg

Just because I didn't back up you up in your stupid thread, I'm now a cross dressing man. Whatever you say, fuqtard. Your and idiot.

Comanche
05-09-2009, 07:29 AM
Just because I didn't back up you up in your stupid thread, I'm now a cross dressing man. Whatever you say, fuqtard. Your and idiot.

Don't like being "outed"? It's unlikely a real woman would post on a "May is Wanking Month" thread! Springfield is a conservative town. . .Isn't it hard for a guy to buy a dress that fits there? ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

Baby Lee
05-09-2009, 07:37 AM
Oh my God, George!!! What are you doing?????????????
Posted via Mobile Device

Glamour?

LaChapelle
05-09-2009, 08:02 AM
up

LaChapelle
05-09-2009, 08:04 AM
damit
~that did it, for now.

Bwana
05-09-2009, 08:06 AM
No kidding? What is June, jerk off month?

luv
05-09-2009, 10:18 AM
Don't like being "outed"? It's unlikely a real woman would post on a "May is Wanking Month" thread! Springfield is a conservative town. . .Isn't it hard for a guy to buy a dress that fits there? ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

Well, you got me. I even managed to fool everyone on here I've met in person. Hell, guys I've slept with don't even know. You're really good.

Comanche
05-09-2009, 04:17 PM
Well, you got me. I even managed to fool everyone on here I've met in person. Hell, guys I've slept with don't even know. You're really good.

Don't kid yourself. The "guys" you slept with are just "playing along." None of them like Miss California either! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

KcMizzou
05-09-2009, 04:26 PM
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/1237576337_daffy-jerking.gif

http://www.madmann.com/fark/lemur.gif

luv
05-09-2009, 04:31 PM
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/1237576337_daffy-jerking.gif

http://www.madmann.com/fark/lemur.gif

LMAO

Daffy looks scared.

That second one is awesome. Love the love sticking out and everything.

LMAO

Pioli Zombie
05-09-2009, 04:42 PM
Should I be worried? I was watching the Jonas Brothers with my kids and when Joe came on the screen I think it moved.
Posted via Mobile Device

bevischief
05-09-2009, 07:36 PM
:D

Dave Lane
05-09-2009, 08:13 PM
Just because I didn't back up you up in your stupid thread, I'm now a cross dressing man. Whatever you say, fuqtard. Your and idiot.

Please don't say that to him he's such a soft hearted fine man... :rolleyes:

Pioli Zombie
05-09-2009, 10:35 PM
The Royals lose a frustrating game. I want sex.
I aint goin out. I aint payin for it.

So who will it be tonight.

A celebrity or someone from the office? A memory of a girl in high school or one from 15 years ago?

Tina Fey maybe. Or the sunday school teacher. Or that bitch in accounting. I'll show her.
Posted via Mobile Device

luv
05-09-2009, 10:36 PM
The Royals lose a frustrating game. I want sex.
I aint goin out. I aint payin for it.

So who will it be tonight.

A celebrity or someone from the office? A memory of a girl in high school or one from 15 years ago?

Tina Fey maybe. Or the sunday school teacher. Or that bitch in accounting. I'll show her.
Posted via Mobile Device

I used to be a Sunday school teacher. ;)


LMAO

Pioli Zombie
05-09-2009, 10:39 PM
I used to be a Sunday school teacher. ;)


LMAO

Hmmmmmm.
Posted via Mobile Device

ChiTown
05-09-2009, 10:45 PM
http://chiefsplanet.com/BB/customavatars/avatar45_3.gif

ChiTown
05-09-2009, 10:55 PM
http://forums.f13.net/index.php?PHPSESSID=cgq1mgcssfksnvtr07gphea7s0&action=dlattach;attach=4536;type=avatar

Pioli Zombie
05-10-2009, 06:35 PM
Another frustrating Royals loss.

Don't take it out on the world. You might have an urge to find a needy, depressed girl at an AA meeting and screw her in the hallway. But that will just make you feel bad and will wreck her sobriety.

Just pound it to Desperate Housewives or with the thought of that waitress from IHOP.
Posted via Mobile Device

luv
05-10-2009, 06:42 PM
http://forums.f13.net/index.php?PHPSESSID=cgq1mgcssfksnvtr07gphea7s0&action=dlattach;attach=4536;type=avatar

LMAO Christopher Walken rep!

cabletech94
05-10-2009, 07:01 PM
On a related note, Claythan is back....


....is this my first thread killer?

Pioli Zombie
05-10-2009, 07:04 PM
Claythan, in those 30 days did you get any?
Posted via Mobile Device

Red Beans
05-10-2009, 07:33 PM
Every month is masturbation month