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Micjones
05-12-2009, 03:12 PM
Snitches usually get stitches, but I'm torn over this situation Planeteers.

I have two friends.
One we'll call Matthew. The other we'll call Mark.

Matthew lives in California.
Mark and I live in Kansas City.
The three of us have been friends for roughly 8 years.

About 2 months ago I saw a girl who caught my eye in a nightclub. I remember I was sitting with an old flame (who just so happens to be a bi) and we raved about the girl's finer points. One week later I see the same girl at a Block Party a few friends and I host in the Crossroads District on First Fridays. I notice that the girl is standing very close in proximity to Mark. End of the night comes around... The girl leaves with Mark (riding shotgun no less).

The next day... In a random conversation with Mark the next day...
I make mention of the girl. He tells me it's Matthew's wife. I had previously never met Matthew's wife so I was completely unaware. So instantly all kinds of sirens go off in my head.

The last several months Matthew and his wife have been on the rocks.
Matthew's wife moved back to KC a couple months ago without Matthew.

So the first thing I'm thinking is... Does Matthew know his wife is hanging out with Mark? Knowing Matthew, a hot-tempered fellow, I'm thinking he probably doesn't.

Mark admits to me that there's a crazy back story that he's planning to share with me at some point. Mind you... He's catted around on his long-time girlfriend turned wife for years. He's never kept secrets from me. He's always been very forthcoming about his exploits. Every time I ask him about this back story with Matthew's wife he quickly changes the subject. He won't even look me in the eye.

I'm fairly certain something improper has happened between Mark and Matthew's wife.

The question is, being loyal to both...
Do you share your suspicion's with Matthew or stay completely out of it?

Personally... I'd want to know. More importantly I'd want my friend to tell me if he suspected that our mutual friend was sleeping with my wife.

stumppy
05-12-2009, 03:14 PM
Jeez, not this crap again.

Demonpenz
05-12-2009, 03:15 PM
matthew mark luke and john never get their story straight

Donger
05-12-2009, 03:15 PM
Didn't we cover this already?

Skip Towne
05-12-2009, 03:15 PM
This'un ought to go a hunnert.

seclark
05-12-2009, 03:15 PM
matthew mark luke and john never get their story straight

damn...i really thought this would be post#2.
sec

Micjones
05-12-2009, 03:16 PM
Come on fellas. Some real advice please?

sedated
05-12-2009, 03:16 PM
chiefsplanet typical majority says stay out of it.

MoreLemonPledge
05-12-2009, 03:17 PM
Stay as far away from the situation as possible. End of discussion.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 03:19 PM
Any particular reason why I should stay out of it?
Is loyalty an outdated concept?

Sure-Oz
05-12-2009, 03:19 PM
Stay out of it, don't get in the middle, period.

Sure-Oz
05-12-2009, 03:19 PM
Any particular reason why I should stay out of it?
Is loyalty an outdated concept?

Not worth the shit you'll get, trust me

sedated
05-12-2009, 03:19 PM
if the marriage is known to be rocky (and if its known outside the marriage, its usually pretty f-n serious) and she moved back "home" without her husband, I'd say that marriage is a dirty sock on the floor away from ending for good.

And the guy who lives here that regularly cheats on his wife sounds like a piece of sh!t.

tooge
05-12-2009, 03:20 PM
If you went on a camping trip and woke up with a condom hanging out of your arse, would you tell anyone?

Micjones
05-12-2009, 03:21 PM
If you went on a camping trip and woke up with a condom hanging out of your arse, would you tell anyone?

*Walks away quickly from this question wondering why YOU asked*

MoreLemonPledge
05-12-2009, 03:21 PM
Any particular reason why I should stay out of it?
Is loyalty an outdated concept?

Nothing wrong with loyalty, but even the most loyal should know their boundaries. If the situation is what you think it is, there will be a lot of bad blood. You don't want to be in the middle of that.

Jilly
05-12-2009, 03:21 PM
It's all hearsay at this point, so I'd make sure and get a truth before trying to say anything to your friend.

alpha_omega
05-12-2009, 03:22 PM
This sounds familiar....the answer is....stay out of it.

Fish
05-12-2009, 03:22 PM
I'd start hanging out with Luke and John...

Tough situation, but I'd likely stay out of it.

raybec 4
05-12-2009, 03:22 PM
Mind your business, let your buddies mind theirs. This is between them and the skank.

Pestilence
05-12-2009, 03:23 PM
STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT!

Yes they are your friends....but you're about to lose all of them if you stick yourself in the middle.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 03:23 PM
It's all hearsay at this point, so I'd make sure and get a truth before trying to say anything to your friend.

He definitely hasn't admitted anything, but as long as I've known him...
I'm pretty certain that's exactly what went down. Too much funny business surrounding the story. And he conveniently didn't tell me that was Matthew's wife until the next day. That was pre-meditated.

Mr. Krab
05-12-2009, 03:25 PM
Don't you like one friend more than they other? Usually one is favored over the other, then that might be enough to decide to go with the better friend.

otherwise stay the hell out of it.

raybec 4
05-12-2009, 03:25 PM
He definitely hasn't admitted anything, but as long as I've known him...
I'm pretty certain that's exactly what went down. Too much funny business surrounding the story. And he conveniently didn't tell me that was Matthew's wife until the next day. That was pre-meditated.

Why would you squeal? It's all going to come out in the wash anyway, there is no need for you to be a part of it, at all.

Rooster
05-12-2009, 03:26 PM
If you didn't even know Matthews wife you can't be all that tight. Stay out of it.

Sure-Oz
05-12-2009, 03:27 PM
If you love extra drama go for it....i have 2 friends that have cheated on their wives and they'll find out someday, but it won't be from me. It usually finds a way to come out

CoMoChief
05-12-2009, 03:29 PM
Snitches usually get stitches, but I'm torn over this situation Planeteers.

I have two friends.
One we'll call Matthew. The other we'll call Mark.

Matthew lives in California.
Mark and I live in Kansas City.
The three of us have been friends for roughly 8 years.

About 2 months ago I saw a girl who caught my eye in a nightclub. I remember I was sitting with an old flame (who just so happens to be a bi) and we raved about the girl's finer points. One week later I see the same girl at a Block Party a few friends and I host in the Crossroads District on First Fridays. I notice that the girl is standing very close in proximity to Mark. End of the night comes around... The girl leaves with Mark (riding shotgun no less).

The next day... In a random conversation with Mark the next day...
I make mention of the girl. He tells me it's Matthew's wife. I had previously never met Matthew's wife so I was completely unaware. So instantly all kinds of sirens go off in my head.

The last several months Matthew and his wife have been on the rocks.
Matthew's wife moved back to KC a couple months ago without Matthew.

So the first thing I'm thinking is... Does Matthew know his wife is hanging out with Mark? Knowing Matthew, a hot-tempered fellow, I'm thinking he probably doesn't.

Mark admits to me that there's a crazy back story that he's planning to share with me at some point. Mind you... He's catted around on his long-time girlfriend turned wife for years. He's never kept secrets from me. He's always been very forthcoming about his exploits. Every time I ask him about this back story with Matthew's wife he quickly changes the subject. He won't even look me in the eye.

I'm fairly certain something improper has happened between Mark and Matthew's wife.

The question is, being loyal to both...
Do you share your suspicion's with Matthew or stay completely out of it?

Personally... I'd want to know. More importantly I'd want my friend to tell me if he suspected that our mutual friend was sleeping with my wife.

REPOST!!!!! and STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

Jilly
05-12-2009, 03:30 PM
He definitely hasn't admitted anything, but as long as I've known him...
I'm pretty certain that's exactly what went down. Too much funny business surrounding the story. And he conveniently didn't tell me that was Matthew's wife until the next day. That was pre-meditated.

why don't you just ask him straight out if he's f-ing her?

HemiEd
05-12-2009, 03:32 PM
chiefsplanet typical majority says stay out of it.Do we have a count, on how many of these threads turned out that way? Everyone I have read does.

Mr. Flopnuts
05-12-2009, 03:32 PM
I've said this before, I'll say it again, stay the fuck out of it. It's a surefire way to lose 2 friends. Better yet, don't even ask about it anymore. And keep your future girls the fuck away from Mark. He obviously can't be trusted.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 03:33 PM
Okay.
The overwhelming sentiment is "stay out of it".

Would none of you be upset for being kept in the dark if you later found out a good friend of yours had suspicions?

Buck
05-12-2009, 03:33 PM
My name is Matthew and I live in California.

/all I got

raybec 4
05-12-2009, 03:35 PM
why don't you just ask him straight out if he's f-ing her?

Why would he want to know for sure? At least now he has deniability.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 03:35 PM
If you love extra drama go for it....i have 2 friends that have cheated on their wives and they'll find out someday, but it won't be from me. It usually finds a way to come out

That's a bit different.
Your loyalty isn't to their wives. It's to the parties who've done the cheating.

Saggysack
05-12-2009, 03:35 PM
Never, and I mean never, lose your right to claim ignorance. Some things are better left unsaid and unheard. Especially when you aren't a party involved.

In simpleton terms, mind your own fucking business.

raybec 4
05-12-2009, 03:36 PM
Okay.
The overwhelming sentiment is "stay out of it".

Would none of you be upset for being kept in the dark if you later found out a good friend of yours had suspicions?

No way he can prove what you suspected or didn't suspect. He'll only know that if you tell him. You have a hard time keeping secrets, huh.

Jilly
05-12-2009, 03:36 PM
Why would he want to know for sure? At least now he has deniability.

Because I think it's better that way. If the gain is to be loyal to your friend, wouldn't you want to not needlessly hurt him by telling him a false rumor?

raybec 4
05-12-2009, 03:37 PM
Because I think it's better that way. If the gain is to be loyal to your friend, wouldn't you want to not needlessly hurt him by telling him a false rumor?

That's why you don't tell them shit.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 03:38 PM
No way he can prove what you suspected or didn't suspect. He'll only know that if you tell him. You have a hard time keeping secrets, huh.

Not at all.
I know Mark's cheated on his lady time without number.
I'll never tell. Because I have no loyalty to her.
It's quite a bit different though if I call that person "friend".

Jilly
05-12-2009, 03:39 PM
Not at all.
I know Mark's cheated on his lady time without number.
I'll never tell. Because I have no loyalty to her.
It's quite a bit different though if I call that person "friend".

Yeah, but if you tell Matthew, then you'll lose Mark's friendship. Are you ok with that?

Sure-Oz
05-12-2009, 03:39 PM
Flat out ask the friend if it bothers you, and see what he says. He's obviously a POS if it's true

raybec 4
05-12-2009, 03:39 PM
Not at all.
I know Mark's cheated on his lady time without number.
I'll never tell. Because I have no loyalty to her.
It's quite a bit different though if I call that person "friend".

You just told us all of this, remind me to never commit any crimes with you.

Pestilence
05-12-2009, 03:39 PM
Okay.
The overwhelming sentiment is "stay out of it".

Would none of you be upset for being kept in the dark if you later found out a good friend of yours had suspicions?

You should only be telling him....if you walked in on his wife having sex with another man. Telling your friend that you have "suspicions" isn't going to turn out good for anyone.

Mr. Krab
05-12-2009, 03:40 PM
I'm sorry, i don't see where all the confusion is coming from in this situation.

1. If you want to keep both friends, stay out of it.
2. if you like the guy doing the possible cheating better than the other guy, stay out of it.
3. If you want to avoid drama and possibly being blamed, stay out of it.

on the other hand

1. if you like the guy who's wife is getting banged by some casual friend, snitch away.
2. if you want to bang the guys with instead of the casual friend then break them up by snitching.
3. if you just want to sit back and laugh and don't give a shit, then snitch.

Seriously, it's not that difficult of a situation. Just make sure you don't commit to something that you don't know is truth or not. You saw them together, you didn't see them ****ing.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 03:40 PM
Yeah, but if you tell Matthew, then you'll lose Mark's friendship. Are you ok with that?

I wouldn't want to lose his friendship, but if doing the right thing is all it takes...
How much of a friendship did we really have?
He broke the code.
You just don't cross that line.

Skip Towne
05-12-2009, 03:41 PM
Is the wife hot? If so, go boink her yourself and hope nobody rats you off.

sedated
05-12-2009, 03:41 PM
Would none of you be upset for being kept in the dark if you later found out a good friend of yours had suspicions?

if I found out my wife was cheating on me, I'd probably have plenty to be upset about besides who knew about it before me.

Groves
05-12-2009, 03:41 PM
I think most of the attention has gone to the quandry of "do I tell Matthew or not", but I think you need to give equal consideration of "Should I confront Mark or not"

Micjones
05-12-2009, 03:42 PM
You just told us all of this, remind me to never commit any crimes with you.

No one stands to lose anything from me sharing this on a message board.
I've changed names and locations to ensure that even if one of the three parties involved stumbled upon it...it would mean nothing at all to them.

But...
If it came to me serving time or giving you up...
What's the judge's number?
:D

Kyle DeLexus
05-12-2009, 03:43 PM
Yeah you didn't even know that was his wife...stay out of it. If it's going to bother you though like the last cheating post on here, then you should probably find out the whole story before you make a choice.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 03:45 PM
I'm sorry, i don't see where all the confusion is coming from in this situation.

1. If you want to keep both friends, stay out of it.
2. if you like the guy doing the possible cheating better than the other guy, stay out of it.
3. If you want to avoid drama and possibly being blamed, stay out of it.

on the other hand

1. if you like the guy who's wife is getting banged by some casual friend, snitch away.
2. if you want to bang the guys with instead of the casual friend then break them up by snitching.
3. if you just want to sit back and laugh and don't give a shit, then snitch.

Seriously, it's not that difficult of a situation. Just make sure you don't commit to something that you don't know is truth or not. You saw them together, you didn't see them ****ing.

There's no confusion Mr. Krab.
It's just hard for me to be mum about this knowing how I would respond if I were in his situation.

I probably won't tell.
I just wanted to hash it out before making ANY decision about it.

Cut me some slack. I really haven't been in this situation before.
Nor have I read the dozen threads on the topic created here previously.

FishingRod
05-12-2009, 03:45 PM
Perhaps Mathew is banging Marks wife in California and they just swapped. Obviously if you didn't know who Mathew's wife was you are not that close of a friend to him. Additionally it sounds like Mark is a POS. Perhaps you need a new set of friends. Stay out of it.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 03:45 PM
I think most of the attention has gone to the quandry of "do I tell Matthew or not", but I think you need to give equal consideration of "Should I confront Mark or not"

Good point. One of my guy friends advised me if I do anything it should simply be to confront Mark.

Jilly
05-12-2009, 03:48 PM
I wouldn't want to lose his friendship, but if doing the right thing is all it takes...
How much of a friendship did we really have?
He broke the code.
You just don't cross that line.

didn't you break that code by telling anyway?

cardken
05-12-2009, 03:50 PM
I wouldn't want to lose his friendship, but if doing the right thing is all it takes...
How much of a friendship did we really have?
He broke the code.
You just don't cross that line.

Yeah, shouldn't have hit friends wife but beware of all codes,
1. Bros before Hos
2. Different area codes doesn't count
Sounds like marriage is over all but the paperwork, uncool of him tapping his buddies wife, but no need for you to get involved, when the marriage reaches critical mass, she'll throw it up that she banged his buddy, women are vengeful that way.
If you feel you need to say something say something to the buddy who banged her, tell him you pretty much know what went down, based on his reaction you'll get confirmation , then tell him your disappointed in him. He'll back off the chick in fear of being outed.

Mr. Krab
05-12-2009, 03:51 PM
It's just hard for me to be mum Why? How old are you?

The compulsion to "say something" generally means there is something else going on. The inability to mind your business usually means you are young and/or enjoy being in the middle of drama.

Btw - confronting Mark isn't productive at all. It doesn't solve your apparent need for justice. It doesn't right the wrong. All it does is put you further in the midst of the issue. Which is were it seems like you want to be. imo.

Mr. Kotter
05-12-2009, 03:54 PM
Hash things out with Mark, before you do anything else. Sounds like another tough situation, assuming you value the friendship of both dudes....but don't approve of/are not kosher with the moral implications of this. Some have/will tell you to butt out, but you gotta look at yourself in the mirror. If Mark is doing this to Matthew, that would make my decision easy if it were me. Maybe Mark and I could remain acquaintances or whatever, depending on how long/how close etc....but as a good friend, he'd be done for me. Good luck, man.

bevischief
05-12-2009, 03:55 PM
Jeez, not this crap again.

Don't involved and don't say anything.

Iowanian
05-12-2009, 04:08 PM
You want advice?


Don't hang out with Mark the weekend Mathew finds out he's boning his wife and flies back to KC to murderize them.

bevischief
05-12-2009, 04:13 PM
Witness Protection Program.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:21 PM
didn't you break that code by telling anyway?

The code of which I speak is putting your little sticky fingers on a friend's wife, girlfriend, or lover.
That's a "no no". You JUST DON'T DO THAT.

Just Passin' By
05-12-2009, 04:22 PM
Why are you hanging around with a man who freely and openly lets you know that he cheats on his wife? He's not being a friend. Friends don't put friends in positions like this.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:25 PM
Why? How old are you?

Right, cause it's so juvenile to have my friend's best interests at heart.

The compulsion to "say something" generally means there is something else going on. The inability to mind your business usually means you are young and/or enjoy being in the middle of drama.

Nothing could be further from the truth. I wish I hadn't been involved in this situation in any way.

Btw - confronting Mark isn't productive at all. It doesn't solve your apparent need for justice. It doesn't right the wrong. All it does is put you further in the midst of the issue. Which is were it seems like you want to be. imo.

You're taking this a little too personally Mr. Krab.
Have you screwed one of your pal's wives?
Sheesh.

I came to CP to ask their advice.
It's been a unanimous decision. And I've decided to stay out of it.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:26 PM
Why are you hanging around with a man who freely and openly lets you know that he cheats on his wife? He's not being a friend. Friends don't put friends in positions like this.

I'm in NO POSITION to say anything to her.
I have no loyalties to her. He knows that.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:27 PM
You want advice?


Don't hang out with Mark the weekend Mathew finds out he's boning his wife and flies back to KC to murderize them.

Best advice FTW!!!
LMAO

Just Passin' By
05-12-2009, 04:30 PM
I'm in NO POSITION to say anything to her.
I have no loyalties to her. He knows that.

So what? You're friends with a man who won't honor the most important commitment in his life, doesn't have the balls to tell his woman that he wants to sleep with other women, and doesn't have the brains to hide his actions so that he doesn't get caught or put others in your position.

That's not a friend.

PhillyChiefFan
05-12-2009, 04:31 PM
Proverbial rock and hard place situation my friend, I'd play the middle of the road because after all, "Mark" hasn't told you anything yet, and I'd make sure to keep it that way.

Two words for you "Plausible Deniability".

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:33 PM
So what? You're friends with a man who won't honor the most important commitment in his life, doesn't have the balls to tell his woman that he wants to sleep with other women, and doesn't have the brains to hide his actions so that he doesn't get caught or put others in your position.

That's not a friend.

My knowledge of his exploits mostly came on the north side of them getting hitched. Other than my suspicion of what may have happened with Matthew's wife I have no confirmation that he's cheated since he's been married (just under a year now).

I'm in no place to make a moral judgment.
I've had my fair share of indiscretions.

What I'm saying is...
That situation is completely different. My loyalty is to him.
I'm not obligated to tell his wife anything about what he may have done in the past.
That ESPECIALLY ain't my business.

Iowanian
05-12-2009, 04:34 PM
Advice 2.
Don't leave Mark alone with your girlfriend.

Fritz88
05-12-2009, 04:35 PM
If Mark is doing your friend's wife without telling him and without Mathew being enough of a douche to push her over the edge to look for other dicks then by all means Mark is not worth of being a friend. As simple as that.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:36 PM
Advice 2.
Don't leave Mark alone with your girlfriend.

Even better advice.

He met one of my old lovers recently and he got to showing his teeth when my back was turned. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him around any woman I have dealings with. And this woman was never even a girlfriend. Just someone I slept with.

It's recently become painfully clear to me that he DOES NOT respect "the code".

kstater
05-12-2009, 04:37 PM
Stay the fuck out of it


I'm thinking of putting this in autotext.

Iowanian
05-12-2009, 04:38 PM
He sounds like a prince of a friend...the kind of guy every man would want around.


Advice 3.
Its better to have less friends than a horde of d-bags hanging around.

If you're not cut from the same cloth, distance yourself and find some solid guys to run with.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:39 PM
If Mark is doing your friend's wife without telling him and without Mathew being enough of a douche to push her over the edge to look for other dicks then by all means Mark is not worth of being a friend. As simple as that.

I try not to let the failings of my friends inform our friendships.
Especially when their shortcomings don't necessarily affect me.

I'm not perfect. And I'd hate for someone to walk away from being friends with me for that reason.

Phobia
05-12-2009, 04:39 PM
I haven't read every response.

If Mark is any kind of friend then he won't begrudge your dilemma. You talk to him first. Tell him you have a problem with it and it should be up to him to take you out of the middle. If he's stand-up then he'll fix it like a man. If he's a snake and an awful friend then that will be apparent as well.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:40 PM
He sounds like a prince of a friend...the kind of guy every man would want around.


Advice 3.
Its better to have less friends than a horde of d-bags hanging around.

If you're not cut from the same cloth, distance yourself and find some solid guys to run with.

You're like a cloud of Buddha consciousness today.

I tend to agree. He's a good guy, but he's certainly not without a couple of very unsavory flaws.

Mr. Plow
05-12-2009, 04:40 PM
It's been said a few times, but stay out of it. Nothing good can happen for you if you get involved. It will end horribly for you no matter what and you will be left saying to yourself.....


"I should have just kept my fucking mouth shut."

Iowanian
05-12-2009, 04:41 PM
A persons morals or lack of them will eventually affect you. Maybe it doesn't *this* time, but at some point, it will be of your concern.

It'll be a missing $20 you can't prove where it went, a girl you like getting boned or a finger pointed at you by the law when he gets pinched.


I've cut alot of friends loose over the past few years, and now I'm more selective who I spend time and trust with, because of my family and kids. If you're not someone I want around my kids, we're probably not spending much time together anymore. I'll take 2 friends I trust with my life over a posse of vagrants.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:41 PM
It's been said a few times, but stay out of it. Nothing good can happen for you if you get involved. It will end horribly for you no matter what and you will be left saying to yourself.....


"I should have just kept my fucking mouth shut."

I've settled on that advice Plow. I'm not going to say a word.

I always run ideas past friends and acquaintances to get advice.
I can't recall a time where their answers were EVER THIS UNANIMOUS.
So for that reason alone. I'm going to trust that advice.

Mr. Plow
05-12-2009, 04:43 PM
I've settled on that advice Plow. I'm not going to say a word.

I always run ideas past friends and acquaintances to get advice.
I can't recall a time where their answers were EVER THIS UNANIMOUS.
So for that reason alone. I'm going to trust that advice.


I can tell you that nothing good can come from getting in the middle of matters of the heart....or penis.

Phobia
05-12-2009, 04:44 PM
You're like a cloud of Buddha consciousness today.

I tend to agree. He's a good guy, but he's certainly not without a couple of very unsavory flaws.

We all have flaws, some more than others. Screwing your friend's wife is not a flaw. It's a serious character impediment. It's a dealbreaker. It's unforgivable even if it's not your wife.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:46 PM
A persons morals or lack of them will eventually affect you. Maybe it doesn't *this* time, but at some point, it will be of your concern.

It'll be a missing $20 you can't prove where it went, a girl you like getting boned or a finger pointed at you by the law when he gets pinched.


I've cut alot of friends loose over the past few years, and now I'm more selective who I spend time and trust with, because of my family and kids. If you're not someone I want around my kids, we're probably not spending much time together anymore. I'll take 2 friends I trust with my life over a posse of vagrants.

Again, I tend to agree but I'm fallible just like he is.
No one would have any friends if their friendships were constantly on the line over their shortcomings.

I know first of all not to keep company with whores who would even think to sleep with one of my friends. I know secondly to keep an eye on him and never to allow him to get cozy with any woman I have dealings with.

Bugeater
05-12-2009, 04:46 PM
AFAIC if they've split up she's fair game.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:47 PM
We all have flaws, some more than others. Screwing your friend's wife is not a flaw. It's a serious character impediment. It's a dealbreaker. It's unforgivable even if it's not your wife.

What I mean to say is that I've done some bad things in my day.
Who am I to judge?
I'd hate to have my friends hang those charges against our friendship.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:48 PM
AFAIC if they've split up she's fair game.

You think so?

I think she's off limits regardless.

Iowanian
05-12-2009, 04:50 PM
If I can't trust you alone with my wallet or my woman, you're not going to be my friend. period.

Bugeater
05-12-2009, 04:52 PM
If I can't trust you alone with my wallet or my woman, you're not going to be my friend. period.
If he's in California, and she's in KC, is she REALLY his woman anymore?

Fritz88
05-12-2009, 04:52 PM
I try not to let the failings of my friends inform our friendships.
Especially when their shortcomings don't necessarily affect me.

I'm not perfect. And I'd hate for someone to walk away from being friends with me for that reason.

That's a great way to handle how your friendships go. You just need to define red lines that when crossed then something is inherently wrong with that person.

Personally, I think fucking a friend's wife is just fucking out of line.

Good Luck Mic. What you are doing shows how good of a friend you are.

Know everything from both sides then make your move.

Fritz88
05-12-2009, 04:53 PM
If I can't trust you alone with my wallet or my woman, you're not going to be my friend. period.

Exactly.

Raised On Riots
05-12-2009, 04:55 PM
Stay as far away from the situation as possible. End of discussion.

This. NO good, and I mean NO GOOD can come from this. If anything, tell Mark or Job or whoeverthefuck his name is to get a PI and let him figure it out on his own.

If their marriage is "on the rocks" and he brings the issue up, try to steer the conversation in the direction of the PI.

CAREFULLY. Because you didn't see shit, and you don't know shit.

If you were undetected while Mary and Job were doing the "dirty party", then you know NOTHING, and it's best to keep it that way.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:56 PM
If I can't trust you alone with my wallet or my woman, you're not going to be my friend. period.

I personally don't cross that line...
But a lot of guys do. I think most guys do if given the opportunity.

L.A. Chieffan
05-12-2009, 04:56 PM
bang the girl with the other bi-chick and then make mark and matt watch a video of you doing it to her. see who gets the most upset.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 04:56 PM
If he's in California, and she's in KC, is she REALLY his woman anymore?

That's still his wife.
And even if it's over. That WAS his wife. And the mother of his children.
You DON'T do that.

And this girl is gorgeous. Still. You don't cross that line.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 05:00 PM
That's a great way to handle how your friendships go. You just need to define red lines that when crossed then something is inherently wrong with that person.

I agree.

Personally, I think fucking a friend's wife is just fucking out of line.

As do I. Trust me, recently I've lost a ton of respect for Mark.

Good Luck Mic. What you are doing shows how good of a friend you are.

Know everything from both sides then make your move.

Nah, I'm gonna stay out of it. EVERYBODY I've talked to agrees.

Raised On Riots
05-12-2009, 05:00 PM
bang the girl with the other bi-chick and then make mark and matt watch a video of you doing it to her. see who gets the most upset.

ROFL

Raised On Riots
05-12-2009, 05:00 PM
I agree.



As do I. Trust me, recently I've lost a ton of respect for Mark.



Nah, I'm gonna stay out of it. EVERYBODY I've talked to agrees.

BINGO. :thumb:

Micjones
05-12-2009, 05:00 PM
This. NO good, and I mean NO GOOD can come from this. If anything, tell Mark or Job or whoeverthefuck his name is to get a PI and let him figure it out on his own.

If their marriage is "on the rocks" and he brings the issue up, try to steer the conversation in the direction of the PI.

CAREFULLY. Because you didn't see shit, and you don't know shit.

If you were undetected while Mary and Job were doing the "dirty party", then you know NOTHING, and it's best to keep it that way.

Dually noted.
I know nothing!
:D

Raised On Riots
05-12-2009, 05:03 PM
Dually noted.
I know nothing!
:D

I have to leave the office, but when I get home I'll tell you a story to illustrate how important this concept truly is.:doh!:

bevischief
05-12-2009, 05:04 PM
I agree.



As do I. Trust me, recently I've lost a ton of respect for Mark.



Nah, I'm gonna stay out of it. EVERYBODY I've talked to agrees.

Isn't not already out on DVD?

Mr. Flopnuts
05-12-2009, 05:10 PM
How's the job going dude? That broad isn't involved in this is she? :D

geronimo
05-12-2009, 05:33 PM
ok. micjones. i'll be in kc 1st weekend in June. If she's "gorgeous" let's work a deal here: lead me to her and i will get the "goods". i'm only interested in knowing her (not mike or mark or whoever the f*** lives in payton place) then you will know for certain the truth and how good she is and i will feel compensated for having read through this sophomoric dribble (altho it was slightly entertaining to see the neanderthal's coming out of the cave). one fundamental premise upon which you appear to be operating is that the concept of ownership should be applied to a human being (WRONG!) we did away with that shit when slavery and women's suffrage issues were righted. just b/c you sleep w/ someone doesn't make them off limits to all men who might know you, your name, share a joke, hang out with, call a friend. that's f'n ludicrous. i'm admittedly a lurker but have read several of your posts and considered you to be somewhat enlightened. aside from the hints of voyeurism (or maybe jealousy) i lost to know your motivation for stickin your head in other folks business. r u pissed she possibly chose him (and his girl) rather than you and one of your "lovers" (i thought that was funny!) what guy refers to someone he's f'd as his "lover" to a bunch of guys on a sports blog thing? just say'n... funny stuff. first friday in june ... let me know the offer still stands. (smiles)

Micjones
05-12-2009, 05:34 PM
I have to leave the office, but when I get home I'll tell you a story to illustrate how important this concept truly is.:doh!:

Can't wait to hear it.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 05:35 PM
How's the job going dude? That broad isn't involved in this is she? :D

The job's good.
I got picked at for weeks over the pettiest shit you can imagine.
I also inherited some new responsibilities, but all is well.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 05:44 PM
ok. micjones. i'll be in kc 1st weekend in June. If she's "gorgeous" let's work a deal here: lead me to her and i will get the "goods".

Chances are if I have to dish a dime in that area you probably don't stand in any danger of actually sleeping with the woman anyway. Save yourself the trouble.

i'm only interested in knowing her (not mike or mark or whoever the f*** lives in payton place) then you will know for certain the truth and how good she is and i will feel compensated for having read through this sophomoric dribble (altho it was slightly entertaining to see the neanderthal's coming out of the cave).

Sorry to have wasted your free time.
Good thing you go on to talk about free will just a few seconds and sentences later.
:rolleyes:

one fundamental premise upon which you appear to be operating is that the concept of ownership should be applied to a human being (WRONG!)

Because one has to own another human being to respect the boundaries of trivial things like marriage and children. Solid rationale. Great job thinking you're doing there sir. You do this forum proud! Trouble is, most guys tend to disagree with you. But I guess there's nothing inherently wrong with one of your friends chasing after a woman you're still married to.

i'm admittedly a lurker but have read several of your posts and considered you to be somewhat enlightened.

Sorry to have fallen from your good graces.

aside from the hints of voyeurism (or maybe jealousy) i lost to know your motivation for stickin your head in other folks business.

I've done that how exactly?
By seeking out advice prior to ever making such a decision?
Sure thing, ace.

r u pissed she possibly chose him (and his girl) rather than you and one of your "lovers" (i thought that was funny!) what guy refers to someone he's f'd as his "lover" to a bunch of guys on a sports blog thing?

I'm an idiot I 'spose.
Akin to the guy who confuses "message board" with "blog".
We all make mistakes.
ROFL

Mr. Krab
05-12-2009, 05:48 PM
Right, cause it's so juvenile to have my friend's best interests at heart.



Nothing could be further from the truth. I wish I hadn't been involved in this situation in any way.



You're taking this a little too personally Mr. Krab.
Have you screwed one of your pal's wives?
Sheesh.

I came to CP to ask their advice.
It's been a unanimous decision. And I've decided to stay out of it.
I think you misunderstand, i'm not taking this personally. I'm not taking it any WAY at all. Not trying to bust on you just going through a logical progression. imo.

Pants
05-12-2009, 05:49 PM
Either this is a fake post or none of you guys are really friends. If Matthew is such a good friend of yours, how do you not know his wife? At this point, Mark isn't really a friend of Matthew's because friends don't **** friend's girlfriends, not even going to talk about wives. If Mark is doing this to Matthew, he'll do the same to you or anyone else, he's under his dick's control and is a weak man.

In either case, go find some real friends.

LaChapelle
05-12-2009, 05:51 PM
Another thread where I get the opportunity to act self-rightous
SCORE

Micjones
05-12-2009, 05:53 PM
Either this is a fake post or none of you guys are really friends. If Matthew is such a good friend of yours, how do you not know his wife? At this point, Mark isn't really a friend of Matthew's because friends don't **** friend's girlfriends, not even going to talk about wives. If Mark is doing this to Matthew, he'll do the same to you or anyone else, he's under his dick's control and is a weak man.

In either case, go find some real friends.

I may have met his wife years ago when he lived here in Kansas City.
I don't recall having met her.
His wife never really came along with him for various engagements or when were hanging out. And the few times he invited me over I was preoccupied with something else. I've had opportunities to meet his wife in the past. Just never really made good on them. Then they moved away and have been in California for the past 5-6 years.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 05:55 PM
I think you misunderstand, i'm not taking this personally. I'm not taking it any WAY at all. Not trying to bust on you just going through a logical progression. imo.

My point was simply that this isn't a mathematical equation to me.

1. I know that Matthew LOVES this woman more than life itself and wants nothing more than for their marriage to work.

2. I know that I'd probably want to be told if I were in Matthew's shoes.

Does that count for anything at all or should I merely respond like a PC does to a computer command?

Bwana
05-12-2009, 06:23 PM
No brainer: Stay the hell out of it.

JASONSAUTO
05-12-2009, 06:25 PM
No brainer: Stay the hell out of it.
someone should steer him to the LAST thread of this type.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 06:46 PM
someone should steer him to the LAST thread of this type.

What happened Sauto?

Mr. Krab
05-12-2009, 06:56 PM
My point was simply that this isn't a mathematical equation to me.

1. I know that Matthew LOVES this woman more than life itself and wants nothing more than for their marriage to work.

2. I know that I'd probably want to be told if I were in Matthew's shoes.

Does that count for anything at all or should I merely respond like a PC does to a computer command?
Fine, then casually mention to Matthew that you saw your friend Mark talking to his wife at this party. Allude to nothing, hint at nothing, make no claims that anything was going on. Drop the subject immediately. In fact, make sure you don't mention it until you have to leave.

He can do that rest himself and your conscious is clear. You told him very little so he can't really shoot the messenger.

done and done

If anyone brings it up again, play innocent. You just happen to make a casual remark about seeing a friend and don't know anything about anything.

stevieray
05-12-2009, 07:06 PM
I agree with Bwana...

It's been my experience that the truth will eventually find a way to bring itself to light in these types of situations....

It's a bummer to be in the know....

Micjones
05-12-2009, 08:40 PM
Fine, then casually mention to Matthew that you saw your friend Mark talking to his wife at this party. Allude to nothing, hint at nothing, make no claims that anything was going on. Drop the subject immediately. In fact, make sure you don't mention it until you have to leave.

He can do that rest himself and your conscious is clear. You told him very little so he can't really shoot the messenger.

done and done

If anyone brings it up again, play innocent. You just happen to make a casual remark about seeing a friend and don't know anything about anything.

Nope, gonna stay out of it.

Halfcan
05-12-2009, 08:47 PM
dont be a rat-do your time and keep your yap shut

Pioli Zombie
05-12-2009, 08:47 PM
To make things more interesting you should fuck the shit out of Marks woman.
Posted via Mobile Device

Halfcan
05-12-2009, 09:05 PM
To make things more interesting you should **** the shit out of Marks woman.
Posted via Mobile Device

LMAO sounds like everyone else has

ClevelandBronco
05-12-2009, 09:18 PM
...Personally(,) I'd want to know....

It's none of your damned business.

If you really need to talk about it with someone, talk to her.

Raised On Riots
05-12-2009, 09:21 PM
It's none of your damned business.

If you really need to talk about it with someone, talk to her.

And if she get all uppity and shit; throw some #27 down on her ass!

"My bitch better have my money"!

Hog Farmer
05-12-2009, 09:26 PM
This is why I don't have any friends. The baggage that comes with it. I had one really good friend once but I ended up marrying his wife. So go figure.

Micjones
05-12-2009, 09:47 PM
This is why I don't have any friends. The baggage that comes with it. I had one really good friend once but I ended up marrying his wife. So go figure.

LMAO

Halfcan
05-12-2009, 09:53 PM
My point was simply that this isn't a mathematical equation to me.

1. I know that Matthew LOVES this woman more than life itself and wants nothing more than for their marriage to work.

2. I know that I'd probably want to be told if I were in Matthew's shoes.

Does that count for anything at all or should I merely respond like a PC does to a computer command?

so he Loves her but let her move to KC alone? :rolleyes:

alanm
05-12-2009, 10:12 PM
Okay.
The overwhelming sentiment is "stay out of it".

Would none of you be upset for being kept in the dark if you later found out a good friend of yours had suspicions?I think stay out of it is rule 1 or 2 in Man Laws. Especially if it's between 2 of your good friends. Nothing good will come to you stomping around in the middle of it.

Ari Chi3fs
05-12-2009, 10:20 PM
Id say see if Matthews wife wants to get down with you and get freaky with your girl.

lmao

ThaVirus
05-12-2009, 10:25 PM
I'd find out more information first and if it turned out to be what I suspected, I'd tell my boy. I feel like that would be what I would expect a good friend to do for me, and I can't sleep with that kind of shit on my conscience anyway...

Micjones
05-12-2009, 10:29 PM
I'd find out more information first and if it turned out to be what I suspected, I'd tell my boy. I feel like that would be what I would expect a good friend to do for me, and I can't sleep with that kind of shit on my conscience anyway...

That's been the hardest part for me.
Knowing that I'd expect the same of him if I were in his shoes.

For now... I'm resting comfortably with the fact that I don't have any hard evidence. I still believe something improper took place, but I can't prove that so... For now I'm gonna leave well enough alone.

If I should find out something took place... I might reconsider.
But there are plenty of good arguments for staying out of it.
For now...that's where I am.
I know nothing. Which in truth...isn't so untrue.

ThaVirus
05-12-2009, 10:41 PM
And that's the hardest part for me. I've tried to keep secrets from mutual friends and it just never works. I would totally expect them to tell me the moment they caught wind of some shit, regardless of how they came across the information, so I end up telling them. I've gained a reputation as a loud mouth to a few folks, but at least they know I'm honest... I hate liars and don't especially like when people keep secrets that I feel someone deserves to know

Micjones
05-13-2009, 12:23 AM
And that's the hardest part for me. I've tried to keep secrets from mutual friends and it just never works. I would totally expect them to tell me the moment they caught wind of some shit, regardless of how they came across the information, so I end up telling them. I've gained a reputation as a loud mouth to a few folks, but at least they know I'm honest... I hate liars and don't especially like when people keep secrets that I feel someone deserves to know

It's difficult to tuck that feeling away.
Loyalty is so monumental to me.
And that's what I keep wrestling with.
I'd want him to tell me.

Raised On Riots
05-13-2009, 12:26 AM
It's difficult to tuck that feeling away.
Loyalty is so monumental to me.
And that's what I keep wrestling with.
I'd want him to tell me.

How good of a friend is this guy who's possibly getting jacked? How does he stand up as a friend compared to the other friend who may be in the wrong?

If you're going to choose sides, you better pick the right one. And, you better know every single detail of all parties involved. Are you willing to take it that far?

Micjones
05-13-2009, 12:29 AM
How good of a friend is this guy who's possibly getting jacked? How does he stand up as a friend compared to the other friend who may be in the wrong?

I speak with Mark more often. We both live in Kansas City.
Matthew is out of town so we naturally don't have as much contact.
I don't think that's the way to gauge how I should respond though. I say that because I'd do the very same thing for Mark if the the tables were turned.

If you're going to choose sides, you better pick the right one. And, you better know every single detail of all parties involved. Are you willing to take it that far?

I won't do anything at all until I'm sure.
Right now I'm settled on keeping my mouth shut.

WoodDraw
05-13-2009, 12:40 AM
I'd talk to your friend Mark first and tell him he's being a dick. You don't want to be put in a position where you're going behind everyone's back. If you feel strongly about it, take Mark aside and give him the choice to either fix it or do nothing knowing that you'll go talk to your other friend. That way you're at least honest with both of them, and you give him a chance to say anything you may not know. Sometimes you'd be surprised at how bad you've misread a situation or don't know the full depth. Sometimes your friends, god love them, are just douches.

Raised On Riots
05-13-2009, 12:47 AM
I speak with Mark more often. We both live in Kansas City.
Matthew is out of town so we naturally don't have as much contact.
I don't think that's the way to gauge how I should respond though. I say that because I'd do the very same thing for Mark if the the tables were turned.



I won't do anything at all until I'm sure.
Right now I'm settled on keeping my mouth shut.

I'd talk to your friend Mark first and tell him he's being a dick. You don't want to be put in a position where you're going behind everyone's back. If you feel strongly about it, take Mark aside and give him the choice to either fix it or do nothing knowing that you'll go talk to your other friend. That way you're at least honest with both of them, and you give him a chance to say anything you may not know. Sometimes you'd be surprised at how bad you've misread a situation or don't know the full depth. Sometimes your friends, god love them, are just douches.


Now we're cooking.

Assimilate.

Micjones
05-13-2009, 09:00 AM
Question...

I'm slated to speak with Matthew later today.
No worries, I'm not going to say anything to him.

If he starts asking questions about his wife though...
Shall I answer honestly or continue to plead the fifth?

raybec 4
05-13-2009, 09:08 AM
Question...

I'm slated to speak with Matthew later today.
No worries, I'm not going to say anything to him.

If he starts asking questions about his wife though...
Shall I answer honestly or continue to plead the fifth?

Tell that dude if he wants to know about his wife he needs to ask her.

Buehler445
05-13-2009, 09:10 AM
Question...

I'm slated to speak with Matthew later today.
No worries, I'm not going to say anything to him.

If he starts asking questions about his wife though...
Shall I answer honestly or continue to plead the fifth?

Tell her what you told us. You're not even sure what his wife looks like and you don't remember ever meeting her.
Posted via Mobile Device

Micjones
05-13-2009, 10:08 AM
Tell her what you told us. You're not even sure what his wife looks like and you don't remember ever meeting her.
Posted via Mobile Device

Will do. Thanks gents.

badgirl
05-13-2009, 10:27 AM
FWIW I would stay out of it and let it work itself out either way.

beach tribe
05-13-2009, 10:30 AM
Mind ya bidness.

Jilly
05-13-2009, 10:31 AM
FWIW I would stay out of it and let it work itself out either way.

of course you would

badgirl
05-13-2009, 10:35 AM
of course you would

I don't stick my nose in other peoples personal business. For instance if I knew one of my friends was cheating on his/her spouse I wouldn't tell.

Micjones
05-13-2009, 10:38 AM
I don't stick my nose in other peoples personal business. For instance if I knew one of my friends was cheating on his/her spouse I wouldn't tell.

I respect that, but that'd be quite a bit different...
As your loyalties likely wouldn't lie with the spouse.

luv
05-13-2009, 10:39 AM
I respect that, but that'd be quite a bit different...
As your loyalties likely wouldn't lie with the spouse.

What I was thinking. If I had a friend who knew my spouse was cheating on me, and they never told me, we'd no longer be friends.

badgirl
05-13-2009, 10:40 AM
I respect that, but that'd be quite a bit different...
As your loyalties likely wouldn't lie with the spouse.

If they were both my friends I wouldnt agree with the cheating but I wouldn't go tell and make their problem mine.

Jilly
05-13-2009, 10:41 AM
I respect that, but that'd be quite a bit different...
As your loyalties likely wouldn't lie with the spouse.

personally, and I mean this in all sincerity, it may not be the best for either party, but what's best for YOU, if you want to be selfish, is to tell, because obviously this is eating you up and hanging over your head....and well, your guilt will eventually hurt you. So, I'd tell.

badgirl
05-13-2009, 10:41 AM
What I was thinking. If I had a friend who knew my spouse was cheating on me, and they never told me, we'd no longer be friends.

yea then you tell, they work it out and your the bad guy, nope, I'd stay out of that. Its not my place to tell anything is the way I would feel. It would all come out sooner or later I wouldn't be in the middle. You mean if they were both your friends you feel it would be your business to tell one on the other? No its not the way I see it.

luv
05-13-2009, 10:42 AM
yea then you tell, they work it out and your the bad guy, nope, I'd stay out of that. Its not my place to tell anything is the way I would feel. It would all come out sooner or later I wouldn't be in the middle. You mean if they were both your friends you feel it would be your business to tell one on the other? No its not the way I see it.

He's not friends with the wife.

badgirl
05-13-2009, 10:44 AM
He's not friends with the wife.

I was using an example of the reasons I wouldn't stick my nose in relationship problems of any kind. It will probably end up biting you in the ass even if you do it for the right reasons.

patteeu
05-13-2009, 11:37 AM
I think you should get Mark drunk, take him to a tattoo parlor, and have "Bros B4 Hos" tattooed on his forehead.

BigCatDaddy
05-13-2009, 12:00 PM
I'm not sure if this has been said yet, but I would track down the wife and black mail her for sex.

Micjones
05-13-2009, 12:44 PM
What I was thinking. If I had a friend who knew my spouse was cheating on me, and they never told me, we'd no longer be friends.

Which is something I kept kicking around in my head last night.

Micjones
05-13-2009, 12:44 PM
If they were both my friends I wouldnt agree with the cheating but I wouldn't go tell and make their problem mine.

I can respect that.

Micjones
05-13-2009, 12:46 PM
yea then you tell, they work it out and your the bad guy, nope, I'd stay out of that. Its not my place to tell anything is the way I would feel. It would all come out sooner or later I wouldn't be in the middle. You mean if they were both your friends you feel it would be your business to tell one on the other? No its not the way I see it.

If the secret lied between the married couple I'd stay out of it.
That's a shade different in my view, but I'd be torn.

Micjones
05-13-2009, 12:47 PM
personally, and I mean this in all sincerity, it may not be the best for either party, but what's best for YOU, if you want to be selfish, is to tell, because obviously this is eating you up and hanging over your head....and well, your guilt will eventually hurt you. So, I'd tell.

I don't do well with guilt, but that wouldn't be my motivation.
It'd be to do what I felt was best for my friend.

Jilly
05-13-2009, 12:58 PM
I don't do well with guilt, but that wouldn't be my motivation.
It'd be to do what I felt was best for my friend.

it sounds like your gut instinct and I'd go with your gut instinct and tell...that's what you really want to do and is probably what is right...maybe your, pardon my use of faith, God's instrument in this process for each person to get down the right path?

Valiant
05-13-2009, 01:09 PM
Confront and make him or her tell Matt the truth..

No point in saving a friendship that is not there between the two..

Sometimes you have to tell the truth, even if it is ugly and going to cause a huge problem.. Why should matt have his wife and friend cheat behind his back with you knowing??

If you have noticed, I am sure others have noticed?? Hell you could tell her just to get a divorce and then the truth will get out also that way..

Basileus777
05-13-2009, 01:31 PM
Trust me, you don't want to get in the middle of this unless you have better proof than this.

BigCatDaddy
05-13-2009, 01:40 PM
Trust me, you don't want to get in the middle of this unless you have better proof than this.

This is true. You need to catch them in the act. Might I suggest

http://www.cheaters.com/?page=submit-a-case

Jilly
05-13-2009, 01:41 PM
I love that at the bottom of this page is an add that asks, "Is your partner cheating?"

luv
05-13-2009, 01:42 PM
I love that at the bottom of this page is an add that asks, "Is your partner cheating?"

I got Pizza Hut 20% off online order. Damned temptations!

Micjones
05-13-2009, 02:33 PM
it sounds like your gut instinct and I'd go with your gut instinct and tell...that's what you really want to do and is probably what is right...maybe your, pardon my use of faith, God's instrument in this process for each person to get down the right path?

I share the same faith Jilly.
No pardoning necessary.

My gut tells me something improper has happened, but...
I can't substantiate that. So I'm not comfortable talking to Matthew about it.

Jilly
05-13-2009, 02:35 PM
I got Pizza Hut 20% off online order. Damned temptations!

oh god, pizza sounds good

Nzoner
05-13-2009, 02:37 PM
My gut tells me something improper has happened, but...
I can't substantiate that. So I'm not comfortable talking to Matthew about it.

You gotta be focking kidding me :rolleyes:

Micjones
05-13-2009, 02:41 PM
You gotta be focking kidding me :rolleyes:

Um...no. Not kidding.

sedated
05-13-2009, 02:54 PM
Well, I generally agree with the stay out of it camp, but…

If you say nothing, you are sort of siding with the local friend, the one who is banging your other friend’s wife. If the shit does eventually hit the fan and you have to choose between the two of them, you’d have already spoken with your actions that you side with the local guy/cheater.

And that guy doesn’t sound like a friend worth holding onto, much less fighting his battles – If Mark knew Matthew’s wife and you didn’t, its reasonable to say that Mark and Matthew are closer than you and Matthew, and Mark is tapping Matthew’s wife. Do you think he would think twice about doing that to you?

I might interpret it this way if I was in your shoes – with his actions, Mark has removed himself from the category of a friend of mine, because I would never be friends with someone who would sleep with my wife (which he has proven he would). Therefore, you no longer have the conflict between loyalty to 2 friends, you only have the conflict of whether or not you should tell your real friend that a mutual acquaintance is pounding his wife.

On the other hand, you didn’t even know that Matthew’s wife was in KC or what she looked like, so he doesn’t sound like much of a blood-brother anyway.

Micjones
05-13-2009, 03:08 PM
Well, I generally agree with the stay out of it camp, but…

If you say nothing, you are sort of siding with the local friend, the one who is banging your other friend’s wife. If the shit does eventually hit the fan and you have to choose between the two of them, you’d have already spoken with your actions that you side with the local guy/cheater.

I think I'm in a neutral position not knowing the truth of the matter.
I have my suspicion, but that's not hard evidence. And I'm unwilling to create undue drama if my sixth sense needs calibration. By confronting Mark I put myself in a situation where I have to be accountable for the information he gives me. So if I dig too deep and confirm that he's slept with Matthew's wife...I'll be obligated to tell him.

And that guy doesn’t sound like a friend worth holding onto, much less fighting his battles – If Mark knew Matthew’s wife and you didn’t, its reasonable to say that Mark and Matthew are closer than you and Matthew, and Mark is tapping Matthew’s wife. Do you think he would think twice about doing that to you?

I know he wouldn't.
He's already gotten a little too cozy with a young lady I was formerly involved with. She didn't give him the time...and wouldn't, but this does reshape my opinion of him. This is a recent development. Before I had no idea he'd ever cross that line.

On the other hand, you didn’t even know that Matthew’s wife was in KC or what she looked like, so he doesn’t sound like much of a blood-brother anyway.

You have to remember that for most of my friendship with Matthew, he's lived out of state. I may have met his wife in the past...I don't recall. Don't think I have. Didn't really spend much time with him in his living quarters. He's a pretty private guy. That doesn't qualify our friendship though. Over the last several months things have been very rocky between he and his wife. I knew the two of them were scheduled to move back to KC together. I had no idea she bolted without him.
He's been quiet about the specifics of their marriage the last several months. For a while...no one, Mark included, heard a word from him. We were worried about him.

Micjones
05-14-2009, 08:50 PM
Just got off the horn with Matthew.
I played it cool... didn't say a word to him about anything.

Didn't matter.
He's furious at Mark and says when he sees him there will be blood.
He spent about 12 minutes talking about how big a snake this guy is and how they are no longer friends. He wouldn't expound on why he's upset, but I think I know why...

Oh yeah... AND...
He's here. Has been for a week. Got an apartment and everything.
No one knows but me and he wants to keep it that way.
Didn't want to alert him to his presence so he could sneak up on him.
He said he hopes he doesn't see the man because when he does he's going to hurt him.

Crazy shit man.

Now... It's like I know this man wants to do Mark serious harm.
But he wants me to keep it all quiet. The burden of knowing shit.
I don't wanna feel like I held out information that could've saved this man an ass-whooping.
Fuck man. I hate being in the middle of this shit.

I'm gonna stick to my guns and sit the fuck down though.
I don't know anything.

Raised On Riots
05-14-2009, 08:53 PM
Just got off the horn with Matthew.
I played it cool... didn't say a word to him about anything.

Didn't matter.
He's furious at Mark and says when he sees him there will be blood.
He spent about 12 minutes talking about how big a snake this guy is and how they are no longer friends. He wouldn't expound on why he's upset, but I think I know why...

Oh yeah... AND...
He's here. Has been for a week. Got an apartment and everything.
No one knows but me and he wants to keep it that way.
Didn't want to alert him to his presence so he could sneak up on him.
He said he hopes he doesn't see the man because when he does he's going to hurt him.




Crazy shit man.

Oh it's on like http://takron.net/images/Donkey-Kong.gif NOW, BITCH!!!!LMAO


Good Job; you did the right thing.

Micjones
05-14-2009, 09:02 PM
Oh it's on like http://takron.net/images/Donkey-Kong.gif NOW, BITCH!!!!LMAO


Good Job; you did the right thing.

Will I be doing the right thing by staying quiet about Matthew's intentions?

Bugeater
05-14-2009, 09:13 PM
Sounds like a good time to go on a nice long vacation.

Basileus777
05-14-2009, 09:15 PM
Unless you think he's going to kill him or something, I'd stay away from this shit.

If Matthew is just going to beat Mark's ass, well he deserves it for sleeping with his friends wife.

Raised On Riots
05-14-2009, 09:16 PM
Unless you think he's going to kill him or something, I'd stay away from this shit.

If Matthew is just going to beat Mark's ass, well he deserves it for sleeping with his friends wife.


What he said.

Micjones
05-14-2009, 10:08 PM
Matthew's gonna wanna hang out.
It'll only be a matter of time before they run into one another.
Damn.

I'm gonna stay out of it, but damn...
I hope a black eye is all Mark has to worry about.
Matthew doesn't sound real rational right now though.
Doesn't seem at all like that's where this will end.

Hog Farmer
05-14-2009, 10:51 PM
The bad part is that Mark AND Matthew lurk on Chiefs Planet.

Raised On Riots
05-14-2009, 10:53 PM
Matthew's gonna wanna hang out.
It'll only be a matter of time before they run into one another.
Damn.

I'm gonna stay out of it, but damn...
I hope a black eye is all Mark has to worry about.
Matthew doesn't sound real rational right now though.
Doesn't seem at all like that's where this will end.

All you have to remember is, "I didn't see shit, and I know shit". And if it all goes down in your presence, just yank Matt off of Mark, and yell at Mark "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO, MARK"?!?!?:D

It's low-grade 007, but unless Matt gives you the complete skinny on the situation before running in to Mark; it's the only way to prevent a major problem and keep yourself out of the mix.

Buehler445
05-14-2009, 10:56 PM
Matthew's gonna wanna hang out.
It'll only be a matter of time before they run into one another.
Damn.

I'm gonna stay out of it, but damn...
I hope a black eye is all Mark has to worry about.
Matthew doesn't sound real rational right now though.
Doesn't seem at all like that's where this will end.

He made his bed. If I were you I'd stay the FUCK away from BOTH of them until shit gets worked out (the beatdown occurs). It ain't your fight, stay the fuck out of it. If he's NOT pissed about Mark boning his babe, don't worry about it. One beatdown is enough.

Raised On Riots
05-14-2009, 11:03 PM
The bad part is that Mark AND Matthew lurk on Chiefs Planet.

LMAO

Micjones
05-15-2009, 12:03 AM
It's only a matter of time until they run into one another.
I just hope for Mark's sake... He's not wife Matthew's wife when they do tango.

Raised On Riots
05-15-2009, 12:05 AM
It's only a matter of time until they run into one another.
I just hope for Mark's sake... He's not wife Matthew's wife when they do tango.

I hope you're not in the vicinity either, that's a big-assed mess.

Micjones
05-15-2009, 12:46 AM
I hope you're not in the vicinity either, that's a big-assed mess.

My gut tells me I will be.

Nzoner
05-15-2009, 12:59 AM
My gut tells me something improper has happened, but...
I can't substantiate that. So I'm not comfortable talking to Matthew about it.

My gut tells me I will be.

Your gut sure tells you a lot of stuff

Silock
05-15-2009, 01:00 AM
I can't believe the thread has gone this far without asking for pics.

This chick better have beer flavored nipples or something, because she doesn't seem to be worth all this drama.