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rambleonthruthefog
05-21-2009, 10:12 AM
the alabama cop thread got me thinkin' of my last fist fight.

It was with my baby mama boyfriend bout 18 mnths ago. i had just won a short custody battle, and both of them were very angry with me. the mom asked me for something, and i told her to piss off. this f'n guy thought he needed to defend her honor. he approached me in a very public place, starts calling me son, and boy. i dont respond to him at all, tell her to call her dog off, and walk out of this place of business(i just won the custody case and really wanted nothing to do with this douche) upon leaving he follows me across a dark parking lot bout 50 yard to my truck all the while cussing me, my lawyer, telling me i don't love my kids, etc. etc. etc. I've already had a very bad day, and am fuming mad at this point. i really don't want any trouble so i continue to ignore him. i open my car door and he says i knew you were a p*ssy, i ought to whoop your azz. i finally spoke to him. i told him to do it. he clinches his fist and starts toward me. my back is against my truck and he comes in and bumps chests with me.(he is bigger than me, and a lot of talk) upon touching my chest i head butt him right in the nose, he stumbles backwards and i headbutt him again. this time his glasses go flying along with the blood from his nose as he hits the ground. i let him up. he gets up rushes me, and gets thrown to the ground again. now i procede to whoop the dogsh*t out of him. some dude bust in and says i'm callin the cops, so i fled the scene. he wound up with over a dozen stitches in various places, a fat ems bill, and a couple of black eyes.

how did yours go down?

Scorp
05-21-2009, 10:17 AM
I ate my 4 year old's eyes out. Fatality!

BigCatDaddy
05-21-2009, 10:18 AM
She caught a solid left and it was lights out.

Pestilence
05-21-2009, 10:18 AM
the alabama cop thread got me thinkin' of my last fist fight.

It was with my baby mama boyfriend bout 18 mnths ago. i had just won a short custody battle, and both of them were very angry with me. the mom asked me for something, and i told her to piss off. this f'n guy thought he needed to defend her honor. he approached me in a very public place, starts calling me son, and boy. i dont respond to him at all, tell her to call her dog off, and walk out of this place of business(i just won the custody case and really wanted nothing to do with this douche) upon leaving he follows me across a dark parking lot bout 50 yard to my truck all the while cussing me, my lawyer, telling me i don't love my kids, etc. etc. etc. I've already had a very bad day, and am fuming mad at this point. i really don't want any trouble so i continue to ignore him. i open my car door and he says i knew you were a p*ssy, i ought to whoop your azz. i finally spoke to him. i told him to do it. he clinches his fist and starts toward me. my back is against my truck and he comes in and bumps chests with me.(he is bigger than me, and a lot of talk) upon touching my chest i head butt him right in the nose, he stumbles backwards and i headbutt him again. this time his glasses go flying along with the blood from his nose as he hits the ground. i let him up. he gets up rushes me, and gets thrown to the ground again. now i procede to whoop the dogsh*t out of him. some dude bust in and says i'm callin the cops, so i fled the scene. he wound up with over a dozen stitches in various places, a fat ems bill, and a couple of black eyes.

how did yours go down?

Pussy.

Deberg_1990
05-21-2009, 10:20 AM
I put the beatdown on some skinny white chump in the kids section of the "K" the other day................

seclark
05-21-2009, 10:21 AM
How did your last fist fight go down?

i got cracked upside the head with a table lamp. when i went down, after i hit the floor, i was kicked mercilessly in the ribs and spat upon. finally i was able to crawl out of the room, get to my feet and stumble out the back door.

grandma then picked up the remote, turned the channel back to golden girls and sat down to drink what was left of my beer.

sec

Katipan
05-21-2009, 10:21 AM
I got back up every time he knocked me down.

Jilly
05-21-2009, 10:21 AM
How did your last fist fight go down?

i got cracked upside the head with a table lamp. when i went down, after i hit the floor, i was kicked mercilessly in the ribs and spat upon. finally i was able to crawl out of the room, get to my feet and stumble out the back door.

grandma then picked up the remote, turned the channel back to golden girls and sat down to drink what was left of my beer.

sec

RIP Bea

CoMoChief
05-21-2009, 10:21 AM
Told the bitch to make me a sandwich and she didn't. 2 black eyes later, I am here eating a grilled cheese dipping it in tomato soup. I hate back talkers.

wild1
05-21-2009, 10:22 AM
was watching the sox, and this mouthy old bastard down on the field kept looking at us wrong. so we hopped the rail and showed him how we roll on the south side.

DeezNutz
05-21-2009, 10:22 AM
I put the beatdown on some skinny white chump in the kids section of the "K" the other day................

Thanks for that, by the way.

I was only trying to take a picture.

This other time, I was at the Cell in CHI watching the Royals play, and the first base coach starts mouthing off between innings, calling me a bitch and what not. Eventually, I had to go show him what's up.

Edit: Wild1 was rolling shotgun.

Stewie
05-21-2009, 10:22 AM
I was in 3rd grade and got in a fist fight with my best friend. We traded Ali/Foreman type blows that barely left a mark.

keg in kc
05-21-2009, 10:23 AM
Been in one fight, when I was 18. Didn't get touched, but one of my friends ended up in the emergency room, beaten and kicked by 4 or 5 guys who were after me over some girl I barely even knew. I apparently went apeshit after that, jumped all of them by myself, but I don't remember any of it.

Haven't been in a fight since, and doubt I ever will again.

beach tribe
05-21-2009, 10:26 AM
I knocked a guy cold in the bar where i bartend a couple weeks ago. He threw a drink in one of the girl bartenders face, so I threw some knuckles into his, and he folded like a lawn chair.

Jilly
05-21-2009, 10:26 AM
I got in one fight, when I was 13ish? At the skating rink. It was my neighbor down the street, she was annoying as hell, and my bff and I were putting our skates on and she got mouthy with me and I punched her...she fell, called her parents and left. That was it. BUT.....fast forward 15 years and my current husband and I were at a bar playing poker, as we were leaving this girl starts bitching him out about how he threw a beer at her once.... (he swears he never did that to any girl, let alone her)

BUT, it was the same girl.

beach tribe
05-21-2009, 10:27 AM
I used to be a fighting MoFo. Ran with a rowdy crowd. I try to keep my fists, and face clean these days.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 10:29 AM
threw one punch.;) dont start shit with my friends.

Buck
05-21-2009, 10:30 AM
Last fist fight I had was when I was 19 (23 now).

My friends and I were all cheefin' at a buddies house, and my friend Trevor had firecrackers.

He threw one at me and it sploded right in my face. I told him if you do that again, i'm going to beat your ass. Well a couple hours later he did it again.

I got out of my chair and walked over to him and he cowered into the fetal position and I punched him in the face a good 5 or 6 times.

I guess it wasn't really a fight if he didn't fight back.

Anyways, now he is in the Army and he could probably kick the shit out of me, but yeah, thats my story.

On a side note, I may be the first person to ever punch anybody while on the influence of pot.

Gonzo
05-21-2009, 10:31 AM
I was on my way to the gas station in my truck, these little douchebags cut me off in a little rice burner. (You know the type of kid I'm talking about? White boys wanting to act all hard, in a dodge neon-esq vehicle with that loud muffler. He was wearing a Labron James jersey with his hat cocked to the side, etc.)
I honked at him and he flipped me off.
I pull up to the station, he follows me and parks right next to me. I just got done deer hunting so I'm in hunting clothes. I get out of my pick up and could tell that the kid thought he may have bit off a little more than he could chew. He sized me up and got out of his car anyway, (to save face with his buddy). He starts walking up to me and asked, "What's your fucking problem?" To which I replyed, "You don't want any of this little man."

Now then, I'm a bigger guy, 6 ft. 225 lbs. of corn-fed beer muscle. He was an intimidating 5'8 160 lbs of douchebag.

I was always taught to never let someone get the upper hand in a fight. Get your shots in early and often. However, leagally I knew he needed to start the rucus.
Of course, after my comment he ran at me, and bumped into me. He then tried pushing me against my truck. Next thing the kid knew he was on the ground, bleeding profusely, looking for teeth. One shot, one kill... FATALITY!
His buddy was laughing his ass off. I then walked into the station and bought two packs of smokes. The guy behind the counter was laughing his ass off too. I asked him if he got it on video in case the kid wants me to pay his dental bill. He did and said he would keep it for posterity.

I walked out, helped the kid up and told him he'd better go to the doc. I'm fairly sure he was crying while his buddy (who was probably high) was still laughing his ass off, sitting in the car.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 10:31 AM
Been in one fight, when I was 18. Didn't get touched, but one of my friends ended up in the emergency room, beaten and kicked by 4 or 5 guys who were after me over some girl I barely even knew. I apparently went apeshit after that, jumped all of them by myself, but don't remember any of it.

Haven't been in a fight since, and doubt I ever will again.

pcp?

rockymtnchief
05-21-2009, 10:34 AM
A 58 year old guy, his son, and I whooped four college guys at Bucking Horse Sale since they insisted on calling every cowboy in the bar "pussies". The three of us knocked the four of them out in less than 30 seconds. (58 year old was an ex-boxer). We all got arrested, cowboys had bail money, college guys no bail money, we laughed and taunted them, then went to the bar where everyone proceeded to buy our beers.

Gonzo
05-21-2009, 10:36 AM
Me and a buddy were at a white sox game when they were playing the Royals. This guy on the field down the 1st base line was really pissing us off so we beat his ass...http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/baseball/news/2002/09/19/royals_whitesox_ap/lg_spectators_ap.jpg

Demonpenz
05-21-2009, 10:37 AM
I got in a fight in an arcade at a bowling alley and got thrown into the UZI on Operation wolf

BigCatDaddy
05-21-2009, 10:40 AM
It's good to know everybody on CP is a badass that kicked someone's ass in their last fight :)

Scorp
05-21-2009, 10:43 AM
It's good to know everybody on CP is a badass that kicked someone's ass in their last fight :)

I didn't kick anyone's ass................................. I ate a 4 year old's eyes out. Can't you f*cking read? :rolleyes:

shitgoose
05-21-2009, 10:45 AM
This kid whose girlfriend I was trying to bang back in high school threw his burger and fries basket at me in Dairy Queen and said "lets go outside bitch"

It was after a football game and the place was full of kids from school.

He goes outside and the whole place empties into the parking lot. He is one of those douche bags who takes off his sea shell and hemp necklace and his Hollister shirt and starts jumping up and down. He came at me with a flurry of haymakers and I ducked most of them before I punched him in the stomach and then landed an uppercut and a couple rights. Then I started choking him on the hood of somebody's car before it got broken up. He was such a pussy that he didn't show up at school on Monday.

Buck
05-21-2009, 10:46 AM
It's good to know everybody on CP is a badass that kicked someone's ass in their last fight :)

Pussies post at Chiefs Coalition, so that pretty much explains it.

El Jefe
05-21-2009, 10:46 AM
threw one punch.;) dont start shit with my friends.

Ohh come on, I know you have some good stories, don't tease us.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 10:48 AM
It's good to know everybody on CP is a badass that kicked someone's ass in their last fight :)

i got beat up so bad once broke my nose in two places and blacked my eyes shut. never talk shit about someones mama.

Kyle DeLexus
05-21-2009, 10:49 AM
It's good to know everybody on CP is a badass that kicked someone's ass in their last fight :)

I was thinking the same thing....then figured only the ones who won their last fight are gonna share the story, no one wants to talk about getting knocked out.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 10:51 AM
Ohh come on, I know you have some good stories, don't tease us.

my buddy called me the next day and said he had never seen someone bleed outta that many headholes from one punch.

Some hobo was pissin in the parking lot yesterday when my woman and kids were up here. Made me mad and i told him so. he mouths back so i told him keep it up and ill kick your ****in ass.
I look in the truck and both kids had big ol' smiles on there faces.

El Jefe
05-21-2009, 10:52 AM
It's good to know everybody on CP is a badass that kicked someone's ass in their last fight :)

I can honestly say I've never been in a real throwdown/test your salt type of fight. Maybe because of my size. I'm about 6'5 1/2 and about 270lbs and lift weights a good bit, so maybe my size deters a lot of them. I really don't talk much to anybody and don't go to parties or bars so im not in a lot of high intensity situations. I did get in a fight in high school, when a punk in shop class threw a nail off the table I was sitting at, and it hit me in the face, and I stood up, and he squared off with me. It was on like Donkey Kong, I think he tagged me once in the face and I got him a good 3-4 times.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 10:52 AM
I was thinking the same thing....then figured only the ones who won their last fight are gonna share the story, no one wants to talk about getting knocked out.

onlytime i was ever KO'd i woke up with blacktop on what was left of my teeth.

keg in kc
05-21-2009, 10:52 AM
pcp?Back in those days I had a bit of a temper.

Age has mellowed me. That or apathy.

CoMoChief
05-21-2009, 10:56 AM
Well,.....back in 7th grade I used to ride the bus home, previously me and my friends used to get into scuffles with these losers down the street, they thought they were in a gang, stupid shit like that, but they are the whitest trash kids possible. My friends would get off at the previous bus stop, then I would get off at the same stop as these losers because they lived 5-6 houses down from me.

Well this was an ongoing occurance where I could here them talk shit on me. Keep in mind there were about 4-5 of them, one was VERY little and a yr younger than I was, the other 3 or 4 of them were older than me in 8th grade.

One day I just turned around (we're in front of my house out in the street) and said, you got a ****in problem, every day its the same shit. One of the guys comes at me like hes gonna do something and i kick him in the nuts harder than anything I've ever kicked. Direct shot too. He went down and was down crying. He prob can't ever have kids again. I would bet his dick doesn't work anymore. But then I get jumped by the other guys, they get a few shots in and so do I surprisingly. But then they got me tied up and the little bastard thats shorter weaker and younger than me busts me right in the mouth. At the time I had braces and the brace went thr my upper lip. At that time a neighbor came out and broke it up, the guy with the busted nuts was still down. I went over and kicked him right in the face when he was down. Cheap shot if you will but it was 1 on 4 pretty much so I didn't care and fighting morale didn't even come mind at that point.

So I got and get my lip stitched up, ****in hurt too pulling the braces away from my upper lip. Anyways, my mom was worried and wanted to inform the principal of this situation, me and dad told her no as we thought it would work out the way its intended to. The next day my friends were gonna go swimming at my house after school and so they rode the bus to my stop so they could get off at my stop, funny thing was the losers didn't want to get off the bus, they wanted the bus driver to go another route. They told the bus driver that I was threatening them, so then it got word to the principal as the bus driver didn't allow them to get off at my stop since my friends were with me. We're all pretty big guys too, we would have kicked the shit out of all of them and they knew it.

So the principal told the driver to re-route her stops and they no longer had to get off at the same stop I did.

However a couple weeks later I got a hall pass to go to the bathroom during the middle of class. No one was in the bathroom at the time except guess who comes out of the stall? That little ****ass that busted me in the mouth. I just said hello Sunshine, shut the door in the bathroom and just beat the ****ing hell out of him. And I mean really bad, his dad ended up coming over to our house later that day because he had to go to the hospital that day and he was threatening to call the cops. They wanted us to pay the hospital bill, My dad just laughed at him, told him to get a lawyer because he isn't doing shit, told him what has been going on and shut the door in his face. No cops were ever called, those ****ers still to this day have never looked me in the eye since. I've seen them at bars n shit when I got back home and most of them will just leave shortly after......I've 20x bigger than all of them now. I really think they're all scared of me. They still hang out in the same pussy ass group, I dont think they have other friends either, Buch of fuckin losers.

seclark
05-21-2009, 10:57 AM
never talk shit about someones mama.

or their sister...damn people take shit seriously.
sec

blaise
05-21-2009, 10:58 AM
I was on a subway car. The transit cop was throwing some kid off the train because he didn't have a ticket and they were standing right next to me at the door waiting for the next stop. The train was packed, and I was standing. I said something like, "Is he kicking you off the train?" I wasn't trying to be a dick, I was trying to sympathize, like "That sucks". For some reason he got all mad. He had a subway token (you're supposed to trade your token for a ticket) and he holds it in my face and starts going, "I got my token! I got my token." So I said sure, whatever. Then he kept saying, "What? What did you say?" and I kept saying, "I said whatever." until I finally said, 'What are you fucking deaf?" He turns to his buddy and says, "When this train stops I'm punching this kid in the face." So we stand there waiting for the stop and he keeps saying it. If I could have walked away I would have, but we were packed like sardines. Then the doors open and he turns to me, and I'm thinking "I'm not waiting to get punched". So I punched him in the face. Then my friends and his friends started pushing and shoving. It was quite a scene for the other passengers. There happened to be two cops at the platform and they threw us all off. I was pretty glad the cops were there actually. The kid probably would have whipped my ass. I had to go to the police station and got a ticket.
The cops were cool to me, they were clowning this other dude. He kept saying dumb stuff like it was on a TV show. "You got no probable cause to say I was drinking. I'm a criminal justice major."
I told them my side of the story and they were laughing about it. The cop was like, "I would have done the same thing."
I try not to get in fights though. I've seen too many guys in bars get their faces beat in. Hit with bottles, kicked in the face. No thanks.

Kyle DeLexus
05-21-2009, 10:59 AM
I can honestly say I've never been in a real throwdown/test your salt type of fight. Maybe because of my size. I'm about 6'5 1/2 and about 270lbs and lift weights a good bit, so maybe my size deters a lot of them. I really don't talk much to anybody and don't go to parties or bars so im not in a lot of high intensity situations. I did get in a fight in high school, when a punk in shop class threw a nail off the table I was sitting at, and it hit me in the face, and I stood up, and he squared off with me. It was on like Donkey Kong, I think he tagged me once in the face and I got him a good 3-4 times.

Yeah I hang out with a guy thats 6'6" and 280-300lbs, lifts everyday. You can talk a lot of shit when you have a guy like that backing you up. Of course, I'm not a little guy by any means at 6' 230. My brother takes advange of it big time though, he's 5'6 150ish and will talk more trash than anyone I know.

Radar Chief
05-21-2009, 11:01 AM
Not my last one but itís memorable because it drives home the point that no one ďwinsĒ a fight.
The fight itself was uneventful, Iím bigger than the dipshit that started it with me and he punched like a girl so I really shouldíve whooped him like a rented mule. No the story is when the cops showed up the two skanks that were with the guy dumb enough to start shit were hopping up and down claiming the two friends that were with me beat them. Now, these are two full grown men, if theyíd have beat on these girls there would be blood, yet these skanks didnít have a mark on them.
My friends got arrested for assault anyway; dude didnít want to press charges on me. ;)
But my friends spent the next year and around $10K for a lawyer fighting what everyone had to know was false charges. They won in court, got out of it, but $10K is a heavy price for watching someone else get in a fight.

Buck
05-21-2009, 11:02 AM
Well,.....back in 7th grade I used to ride the bus home, previously me and my friends used to get into scuffles with these losers down the street, they thought they were in a gang, stupid shit like that, but they are the whitest trash kids possible. My friends would get off at the previous bus stop, then I would get off at the same stop as these losers because they lived 5-6 houses down from me.

Well this was an ongoing occurance where I could here them talk shit on me. Keep in mind there were about 4-5 of them, one was VERY little and a yr younger than I was, the other 3 or 4 of them were older than me in 8th grade.

One day I just turned around (we're in front of my house out in the street) and said, you got a ****in problem, every day its the same shit. One of the guys comes at me like hes gonna do something and i kick him in the nuts harder than anything I've ever kicked. Direct shot too. He went down and was down crying. He prob can't ever have kids again. I would bet his dick doesn't work anymore. But then I get jumped by the other guys, they get a few shots in and so do I surprisingly. But then they got me tied up and the little bastard thats shorter weaker and younger than me busts me right in the mouth. At the time I had braces and the brace went thr my upper lip. At that time a neighbor came out and broke it up, the guy with the busted nuts was still down. I went over and kicked him right in the face when he was down. Cheap shot if you will but it was 1 on 4 pretty much so I didn't care and fighting morale didn't even come mind at that point.

So I got and get my lip stitched up, ****in hurt too pulling the braces away from my upper lip. Anyways, my mom was worried and wanted to inform the principal of this situation, me and dad told her no as we thought it would work out the way its intended to. The next day my friends were gonna go swimming at my house after school and so they rode the bus to my stop so they could get off at my stop, funny thing was the losers didn't want to get off the bus, they wanted the bus driver to go another route. They told the bus driver that I was threatening them, so then it got word to the principal as the bus driver didn't allow them to get off at my stop since my friends were with me. We're all pretty big guys too, we would have kicked the shit out of all of them and they knew it.

So the principal told the driver to re-route her stops and they no longer had to get off at the same stop I did.

However a couple weeks later I got a hall pass to go to the bathroom during the middle of class. No one was in the bathroom at the time except guess who comes out of the stall? That little ****ass that busted me in the mouth. I just said hello Sunshine, shut the door in the bathroom and just beat the ****ing hell out of him. And I mean really bad, his dad ended up coming over to our house later that day because he had to go to the hospital that day and he was threatening to call the cops. My dad just laughed at him, told him what has been going on and shut the door in his face. No cops were ever called, those ****ers still to this day have never looked me in the eye since.

If you don't mind my asking, how long ago was this?

I just find it interesting that you still see these kids.

FishingRod
05-21-2009, 11:03 AM
I probably should have been in a dozen since the last one but, I have grown up and just walked away from a number of them. Now I have broken up a couple of bar fights because I didn't think it fair of the female bartender to have to try and do so but punching another person in the head, it has been a long time.. Last time I punched anyone was with a big-ol douche that used to try and give me shit back in school. I was a better smartass then him so it took a while to get to the point punches were thrown. One day he walked by and said something stupid as an insult and I responded something to the affect of I wondered if he could tastes his sister when he was sucking off his brother and he shoved me up against a brick wall. I shoved him back and he came at me in a threatening manner at which point I hit him about 20 times. Bloodied his nose and busied his ribs up pretty good. Spent the rest of the day enjoying in school suspension. I honestly felt kind of bad about it in that after the first punch he quit being all tough and just tried to cover his face that I kept hitting. When I was younger I was in plenty of fights that I didn't win. I had an older brother and was the youngest kid on the block. So I have certainly been on the loosing side of a scrape or two. Now I did kick the crap out of a wall by throwing a huge footrest through it one time but that was induced by my x-wife and a different story.

rambleonthruthefog
05-21-2009, 11:04 AM
It's good to know everybody on CP is a badass that kicked someone's ass in their last fight :)

my last fight i won. my first fight i got knocked the F out.

keg in kc
05-21-2009, 11:07 AM
onlytime i was ever KO'd i woke up with blacktop on what was left of my teeth.The only thing close to a fight that I lost was when I was in junior high. It's not really a fight, so I don't count it as one. There were a couple of bullies that followed me home, it was about a half-mile walk. One of them had a baseball bat, both of them were older and a lot bigger than me. I (literally) just ignored them, and kept walking. It's a funny scene in retrospect. They were trying so hard. Pushing me from behind, calling me a pussy. And I just kept walking. Same speed I always walked home. Didn't speed up, didn't run, just kept going, and eventually got home. I think I'd have fought if they pushed it any further, but they never actually tried to stop me. They never got in front of me, always pushed from behind.

I don't know why, but they never bothered me again. Didn't become buddies like some afterschool special, but they never did.

Buck
05-21-2009, 11:09 AM
FWIW, I'm 2-2 all time in fist fights.

I'm also on a 2 fight winning streak.

2nd to last fight was my Senior year of High School. Some Nigerian kid kept whipping me with a towel in gym class and I whipped him back right in the eye and he challenged me to a fight after school. I beat the shit out of him. Keep in mind he was 6'3" 100 at most, and I was at the time 6'1" 250. LOL

The one before that I was in 7th grade and playing tackle football in the park after school and everyone was egging me and another kid on to fight and we agreed then he punched me right in the nose and broke it with his first punch. Fight over.

The one before that was in 5th grade and its pretty much the same as the 7th grade fight except my nose didn't break.

rockymtnchief
05-21-2009, 11:14 AM
It's good to know everybody on CP is a badass that kicked someone's ass in their last fight :)

I've been sucker punched at least 6 times, head butted by bulls, thrown head first into a chute by a bull, suffered a left front temporal hemotoma, and never been knocked out. But, as my friends know, wrestle me and I'm done in 15 seconds. I can't do that crap to save my life.:#

CoMoChief
05-21-2009, 11:16 AM
If you don't mind my asking, how long ago was this?

I just find it interesting that you still see these kids.

This happened around 1997 I think, Well my parents still lived in the same house and neighborhood up until about a year ago when they moved.

I just happen to see them about a year ago at a bar. I'm sure they still live with mom and dad because they're fuck ups in life. covered in tats and earings. Still look like complete douchebags.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 11:16 AM
to be clear about the blacktop/teeth/ko thing i lost that fight with gravity due to my own dumbassry.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 11:19 AM
Well,.....back in 7th grade I used to ride the bus home, previously me and my friends used to get into scuffles with these losers down the street, they thought they were in a gang, stupid shit like that, but they are the whitest trash kids possible. My friends would get off at the previous bus stop, then I would get off at the same stop as these losers because they lived 5-6 houses down from me.

Well this was an ongoing occurance where I could here them talk shit on me. Keep in mind there were about 4-5 of them, one was VERY little and a yr younger than I was, the other 3 or 4 of them were older than me in 8th grade.

One day I just turned around (we're in front of my house out in the street) and said, you got a ****in problem, every day its the same shit. One of the guys comes at me like hes gonna do something and i kick him in the nuts harder than anything I've ever kicked. Direct shot too. He went down and was down crying. He prob can't ever have kids again. I would bet his dick doesn't work anymore. But then I get jumped by the other guys, they get a few shots in and so do I surprisingly. But then they got me tied up and the little bastard thats shorter weaker and younger than me busts me right in the mouth. At the time I had braces and the brace went thr my upper lip. At that time a neighbor came out and broke it up, the guy with the busted nuts was still down. I went over and kicked him right in the face when he was down. Cheap shot if you will but it was 1 on 4 pretty much so I didn't care and fighting morale didn't even come mind at that point.

So I got and get my lip stitched up, ****in hurt too pulling the braces away from my upper lip. Anyways, my mom was worried and wanted to inform the principal of this situation, me and dad told her no as we thought it would work out the way its intended to. The next day my friends were gonna go swimming at my house after school and so they rode the bus to my stop so they could get off at my stop, funny thing was the losers didn't want to get off the bus, they wanted the bus driver to go another route. They told the bus driver that I was threatening them, so then it got word to the principal as the bus driver didn't allow them to get off at my stop since my friends were with me. We're all pretty big guys too, we would have kicked the shit out of all of them and they knew it.

So the principal told the driver to re-route her stops and they no longer had to get off at the same stop I did.

However a couple weeks later I got a hall pass to go to the bathroom during the middle of class. No one was in the bathroom at the time except guess who comes out of the stall? That little ****ass that busted me in the mouth. I just said hello Sunshine, shut the door in the bathroom and just beat the ****ing hell out of him. And I mean really bad, his dad ended up coming over to our house later that day because he had to go to the hospital that day and he was threatening to call the cops. They wanted us to pay the hospital bill, My dad just laughed at him, told him to get a lawyer because he isn't doing shit, told him what has been going on and shut the door in his face. No cops were ever called, those ****ers still to this day have never looked me in the eye since. I've seen them at bars n shit when I got back home and most of them will just leave shortly after......I've 20x bigger than all of them now. I really think they're all scared of me. They still hang out in the same pussy ass group, I dont think they have other friends either, Buch of ****in losers.

When i was in 7th grade i stuck a kid in the face with his own knife.

keg in kc
05-21-2009, 11:25 AM
to be clear about the blacktop/teeth/ko thing i lost that fight with gravity due to my own dumbassry.Shit, if we're counting gravity as an opponent, I'm losing a fight to that fucker every goddamn day *watches his belly flop over his belt*

blaise
05-21-2009, 11:30 AM
David Allan Coe's won every fight he's ever fought.

Bwana
05-21-2009, 11:32 AM
I spent enough time fighting in the dojo and have always tried to leave it in there. At this point in time, the only way I'll fight is if I'm backed into a corner or someone threatens a family member.

KCChiefsMan
05-21-2009, 11:33 AM
about 7 years ago or so, beat up a guy who beats his girlfriend (his girlfriend and I were friends). Well known that he beats her up all the time, but for some reason she stayed with him. Well I went over to his house after he "invited me" over and we faught, he never got a punch in on me but he did bite the shit out of my bicep, still have the scar.

CoMoChief
05-21-2009, 11:39 AM
David Allan Coe's won every fight he's ever fought.

Dinosaurs are now extinct because a T-rex tried to eat Chuck Norris.

Dartgod
05-21-2009, 11:39 AM
When i was in 7th grade i stuck a kid in the face with his own knife.
Wow. So someone from the Planet did actually stab someone in the face.

raybec 4
05-21-2009, 11:39 AM
Ok, I'll bite. Not the last fight but certainly the funniest. 15 years ago I was stationed at Ft. Bragg in North Carolina. The town it's in is kinda rough. I was drunk as shit and going through Taco Bell drive through at about 2am. I see a white kid I recognized from my Batallion getting his ass kicked by about 10 black dudes behind a strip mall.

I drove over there to help as I thought I needed to help another soldier out. Long story short they were jumping this little pillowbiter into a gang, so he proceeds to help them kick my ass.

I fought my way back to my Jeep, was able to get in and get it started. As I'm trying to drive away, I stick my head out and turn around and yell " Ha Ha Mother****ers!!"

Because I wasn't watching where I was going I drove into the sign in front of Taco Bell. As I'm trying to drive the Jeep off of the stand the sign sits on, they pull me out and beat my monkey ass. I had a lacerated kidney and three broken ribs. I took 10 staples in my head and lost two teeth.

CoMoChief
05-21-2009, 11:40 AM
I spent enough time fighting in the dojo and have always tried to leave it in there. At this point in time, the only way I'll fight is if I'm backed into a corner or someone threatens a family member.

you wanna get backed into a corner? :D

CoMoChief
05-21-2009, 11:41 AM
Ok, I'll bite. Not the last foght but certainly the funniest. 15 years ago I was stationed at Ft. Bragg in North Carolina. The town it's in is kinda rough. I was drunk as shit and going through Taco Bell drive through at about 2am. I see a white kid I recognized from my Batallion getting his ass kicked by about 10 black dudes behind a strip mall.

I drove over there to help as I thought I needed to help another soldier out. Long story short they were jumping this little pillowbiter into a gang, so he proceeds to help them kick my ass.

I fought my way back to my Jeep, was able to get in and get it started. As I'm trying to drive away, I stick my head out and turn around and yell " Ha Ha Mother****ers!!"

Because I wasn't watching where I was going I drove into the sign in front of Taco Bell. As I'm trying to drive the Jeep off of the stand the sign sits on, they pull me out and beat my monkey ass. I had a lacerated kidney and three broken ribs. I took 10 staples in my head and lost two teeth.

Should have called your cousin, Casey. wait................ok bad joke.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 11:41 AM
Wow. So someone from the Planet did actually stab someone in the face.

I came up with 'stab them in the face'.duh.

raybec 4
05-21-2009, 11:43 AM
Should have called your cousin, Casey. wait................ok bad joke.

??

CoMoChief
05-21-2009, 11:45 AM
??

Casey Raybec, though I think its Casey Rybeck in Under Siege (played by Steven Segal)



like I said horrible joke. :shake:

raybec 4
05-21-2009, 11:47 AM
Casey Raybec, though I think its Casey Rybeck in Under Siege (played by Steven Segal)



like I said horrible joke. :shake:

At least I get it now, I'll be honest there was one point in there where I would have called my freakin grandma just to absorb some of the punishment I was taking.

Dartgod
05-21-2009, 11:55 AM
I haven't had many.

The first one I can remember was when we moved into a new neighborhood and there was a kid up the street that me and another friend thought was "weird". I talked my buddy into fighting him one day and my friend got his ass kicked. Sometime later I was on the playground one weekend and threw a basketball in his face for some stupid reason. He kicked my ass pretty bad. We eventually became friends once we got into high school and have been ever since.

Another time was in my freshman year. I had a math class right after lunch and students would usually start showing up 5-10 minutes before the teacher did. There was this one dude who was on the football team and he used to give me crap every day; bullying me and other crap. He was a lot bigger than me. One day I decided I wasn't going to take it any more. He started in with his usual shit and I started to walk away....and then turned back toward him with my fist cocked and caught him square in the jaw with a right hook. Knocked his glasses off and him down. That was the end of it. After class was over he still had my fist print on his jaw and he never bothered me again.

The last one that I remember was when I was just finishing or out of high school. This guy stole some shit out of my car, or at least I thought he did. We argued about it for awhile and then another friend told me that he did see him in my car. I confronted him again and he came towards me and started to take his glasses off. I assumed at that point we were going to fight so I just clocked him right then and there. My mistake was by not continuing to wail on him and we eventually got into a wrestling match in the middle of the street. He got me in a choke hold that I couldn't get out of. I kept crawling away while he was landing blows on the back of my head. I finally got him to let me go because I was bout to pass out. He won the fight, but I had no visible injuries. He, on the other hand, had a red swollen jaw and two bloody knees from me dragging him around on the street while I was in the choke hold.

That was the last one that I can remember other than some minor skirmishes. I try to avoid fights and situations that can lead to them.

Dartgod
05-21-2009, 11:56 AM
I came up with 'stab them in the face'.duh.
I wasn't aware where that came from.

bdeg
05-21-2009, 11:58 AM
this douchebag ex-roommate stole my 360 game, i caught him, confronted him he started swingin(he was drunk)

caught me once very weak onthe jaw and i hit him and knocked him down
while he was getting up i got him in a headlock and choked him out
dragged his ass out the door and locked it
he woke up

keg in kc
05-21-2009, 11:58 AM
I try to avoid fights and situations that can lead to them.Yeah. I'm not big on fights, either, as much as I like watching UFC and boxing.

Bwana
05-21-2009, 12:04 PM
you wanna get backed into a corner? :D

The answer to that question is ALWAYS no.

Pestilence
05-21-2009, 12:07 PM
When i was in 7th grade i stuck a kid in the face with his own knife.

This reminds me of a memory from my Junior High years. There was this new kid that came into our 7th grade class from a different town in South Dakota. Seriously.....the kid is in 7th grade and he's like 6'3" but he's skinny. So you know that means that the class bullies are just going to torment the shit out of him. So we're all in the lunch room eating lunch and these two bullies have this kid in a corner and their pestering the shit out of him. The teachers are no where around and these kids are just going to town on this kid. The new kid grabs one of them by the arm....grabs a pencil out of his pocket and stabs the kid in the forearm. The pencil is about 1/3 of the way in this kids arm. The bully fucking drops to the floor and starts screaming like a little bitch.

The tall kid got out of school suspension for like 2 weeks....but no one fucked with him ever again.

blaise
05-21-2009, 12:08 PM
Does anyone think Machida can beat Rashad Evans this weekend?

Bwana
05-21-2009, 12:10 PM
Does anyone think Machida can beat Rashad Evans this weekend?

If he tags him with a good shot he can, but I would put my money on Evans.

Radar Chief
05-21-2009, 12:14 PM
Wow. So someone from the Planet did actually stab someone in the face.

I caught a dart in the head once, but that was an accident. Iím sure you of all people would understand. ;)

blaise
05-21-2009, 12:15 PM
If he tags him with a good shot he can, but I would put my money on Evans.

That's how I see it. I think Evans is just too strong. It's funny though when you hear Machida talk he sounds like he's sure he's going to win. Usually guys say that stuff and you think it's mostly for show, but he seems convinced he's winning, which is more than I can say for some of Evans other opponents. Most of the guys I've seen him fight looked like they didn't want to be there.

Kerberos
05-21-2009, 12:17 PM
Told the bitch to make me a sandwich and she didn't. 2 black eyes later, I am here eating a grilled cheese dipping it in tomato soup. I hate back talkers.

So.... What do you tell a bitch with two black eyes?????*





















Nothing..... You done told the bitch twice!



*Jokes in this thread may not reflect the beliefs or actions of the actual poster and are intended ONLY for mature audiences with a sense of humor.

kysirsoze
05-21-2009, 12:23 PM
I recently got in my first legitimate (adult) fight at 26. I guess I'm not really the aggressive type. In this case, though, my roomate got drunk and hit his girlfriend so I kind of lost it. There wasn't a ton of damage done. He hit me and tackled me. Then I threw him down and landed a few to his face before my other friends pulled me off and restrained him. We called the cops and had him arrested. Needless to say he is moving out now.

Ultra Peanut
05-21-2009, 12:28 PM
I think that was at a party. In the fifth grade. And it was more of a shoving contest and then I tried a wrestling move and then we got broken up.

Kerberos
05-21-2009, 12:37 PM
This kid whose girlfriend I was trying to bang back in high school threw his burger and fries basket at me in Dairy Queen and said "lets go outside bitch"

It was after a football game and the place was full of kids from school.

He goes outside and the whole place empties into the parking lot. He is one of those douche bags who takes off his sea shell and hemp necklace and his Hollister shirt and starts jumping up and down. He came at me with a flurry of haymakers and I ducked most of them before I punched him in the stomach and then landed an uppercut and a couple rights. Then I started choking him on the hood of somebody's car before it got broken up. He was such a pussy that he didn't show up at school on Monday.

We don't care if the fugtard showed up to school on Monday..... Did you ever bang the douchebags girlfriend? :D

wutamess
05-21-2009, 12:51 PM
Well,.....back in 7th grade I used to ride the bus home, previously me and my friends used to get into scuffles with these losers down the street, they thought they were in a gang, stupid shit like that, but they are the whitest trash kids possible. My friends would get off at the previous bus stop, then I would get off at the same stop as these losers because they lived 5-6 houses down from me.

Well this was an ongoing occurance where I could here them talk shit on me. Keep in mind there were about 4-5 of them, one was VERY little and a yr younger than I was, the other 3 or 4 of them were older than me in 8th grade.

One day I just turned around (we're in front of my house out in the street) and said, you got a ****in problem, every day its the same shit. One of the guys comes at me like hes gonna do something and i kick him in the nuts harder than anything I've ever kicked. Direct shot too. He went down and was down crying. He prob can't ever have kids again. I would bet his dick doesn't work anymore. But then I get jumped by the other guys, they get a few shots in and so do I surprisingly. But then they got me tied up and the little bastard thats shorter weaker and younger than me busts me right in the mouth. At the time I had braces and the brace went thr my upper lip. At that time a neighbor came out and broke it up, the guy with the busted nuts was still down. I went over and kicked him right in the face when he was down. Cheap shot if you will but it was 1 on 4 pretty much so I didn't care and fighting morale didn't even come mind at that point.

So I got and get my lip stitched up, ****in hurt too pulling the braces away from my upper lip. Anyways, my mom was worried and wanted to inform the principal of this situation, me and dad told her no as we thought it would work out the way its intended to. The next day my friends were gonna go swimming at my house after school and so they rode the bus to my stop so they could get off at my stop, funny thing was the losers didn't want to get off the bus, they wanted the bus driver to go another route. They told the bus driver that I was threatening them, so then it got word to the principal as the bus driver didn't allow them to get off at my stop since my friends were with me. We're all pretty big guys too, we would have kicked the shit out of all of them and they knew it.

So the principal told the driver to re-route her stops and they no longer had to get off at the same stop I did.

However a couple weeks later I got a hall pass to go to the bathroom during the middle of class. No one was in the bathroom at the time except guess who comes out of the stall? That little ****ass that busted me in the mouth. I just said hello Sunshine, shut the door in the bathroom and just beat the ****ing hell out of him. And I mean really bad, his dad ended up coming over to our house later that day because he had to go to the hospital that day and he was threatening to call the cops. They wanted us to pay the hospital bill, My dad just laughed at him, told him to get a lawyer because he isn't doing shit, told him what has been going on and shut the door in his face. No cops were ever called, those ****ers still to this day have never looked me in the eye since. I've seen them at bars n shit when I got back home and most of them will just leave shortly after......I've 20x bigger than all of them now. I really think they're all scared of me. They still hang out in the same pussy ass group, I dont think they have other friends either, Buch of ****in losers.

Have you seen you? I'd be scared and leaving shortly too. You're the typical neanderthal knuckle dragger we all invision when we mention the neanderthal knuckle dragger.

You're physically like Big Daddy's online personna.

wutamess
05-21-2009, 01:03 PM
Ok, I'll bite. Not the last fight but certainly the funniest. 15 years ago I was stationed at Ft. Bragg in North Carolina. The town it's in is kinda rough. I was drunk as shit and going through Taco Bell drive through at about 2am. I see a white kid I recognized from my Batallion getting his ass kicked by about 10 black dudes behind a strip mall.

I drove over there to help as I thought I needed to help another soldier out. Long story short they were jumping this little pillowbiter into a gang, so he proceeds to help them kick my ass.

I fought my way back to my Jeep, was able to get in and get it started. As I'm trying to drive away, I stick my head out and turn around and yell " Ha Ha Mother****ers!!"

Because I wasn't watching where I was going I drove into the sign in front of Taco Bell. As I'm trying to drive the Jeep off of the stand the sign sits on, they pull me out and beat my monkey ass. I had a lacerated kidney and three broken ribs. I took 10 staples in my head and lost two teeth.

Not Funny but ROFL!
I literally lol'd.

Iowanian
05-21-2009, 01:05 PM
In my defense, she pulled hair Really really hard.

unothadeal
05-21-2009, 01:07 PM
Went To Her House To Get Her Out Of The Pad
Dumb Ho' Said Something That Made Me Mad
She Said Somethin' That I Could'nt Believe
So I Grabbed The Stupid Bitch By Her Nappy Ass Weed
She Started Talkin' Shit, Would'nt You Know?
Reached Back Like A Pimp And Slapped The Ho'
Her Father Jumped Out And He Started To Shout
So I Threw A Right-Cross And Knocked His Whole Ass Out

DeezNutz
05-21-2009, 01:11 PM
Went To Her House To Get Her Out Of The Pad
Dumb Ho' Said Something That Made Me Mad
She Said Somethin' That I Could'nt Believe
So I Grabbed The Stupid Bitch By Her Nappy Ass Weed
She Started Talkin' Shit, Would'nt You Know?
Reached Back Like A Pimp And Slapped The Ho'
Her Father Jumped Out And He Started To Shout
So I Threw A Right-Cross And Knocked His Whole Ass Out

And that's why you died of the virus.

wutamess
05-21-2009, 01:11 PM
So I Grabbed The Stupid Bitch By Her Nappy Ass Weed


nappy ass WEAVE

L.A. Chieffan
05-21-2009, 01:13 PM
old gay guy was hitting on me so I gutted his little shar pei right in front of him on the street corner. The look on his face was priceless! HA!

Valiant
05-21-2009, 01:27 PM
Wow. So someone from the Planet did actually stab someone in the face.

LOL, Reminds me of my old work in a warehouse.. A bigger guy and myself were horsing around, he had a screwdriver and I had a sharpie that we were knife fighting with.. Long story short, He had a permanent tattoo on his face for about 3 months where I got him.. I had to make a butterfly bandages for his face to close the inch gash so other management didn't find out..

Ohh the shenanigans I pulled at that place..

Valiant
05-21-2009, 01:28 PM
Ok, I'll bite. Not the last fight but certainly the funniest. 15 years ago I was stationed at Ft. Bragg in North Carolina. The town it's in is kinda rough. I was drunk as shit and going through Taco Bell drive through at about 2am. I see a white kid I recognized from my Batallion getting his ass kicked by about 10 black dudes behind a strip mall.

I drove over there to help as I thought I needed to help another soldier out. Long story short they were jumping this little pillowbiter into a gang, so he proceeds to help them kick my ass.

I fought my way back to my Jeep, was able to get in and get it started. As I'm trying to drive away, I stick my head out and turn around and yell " Ha Ha Mother****ers!!"

Because I wasn't watching where I was going I drove into the sign in front of Taco Bell. As I'm trying to drive the Jeep off of the stand the sign sits on, they pull me out and beat my monkey ass. I had a lacerated kidney and three broken ribs. I took 10 staples in my head and lost two teeth.

So were you in then??

unothadeal
05-21-2009, 01:29 PM
nappy ass WEAVE

I know, I copy/pasted

Valiant
05-21-2009, 01:31 PM
Does anyone think Machida can beat Rashad Evans this weekend?

Yes, honestly I am expecting him to win..

Katipan
05-21-2009, 01:34 PM
Yes, honestly I am expecting him to win..

Me too.

Which means he'll lose :(

Pennywise
05-21-2009, 01:40 PM
Ok, I'll bite. Not the last fight but certainly the funniest. 15 years ago I was stationed at Ft. Bragg in North Carolina. The town it's in is kinda rough. I was drunk as shit and going through Taco Bell drive through at about 2am. I see a white kid I recognized from my Batallion getting his ass kicked by about 10 black dudes behind a strip mall.


Ah the good ole days in Fayeirut and Fayetnam.

Nightfyre
05-21-2009, 01:42 PM
Paints the corner at 96!

raybec 4
05-21-2009, 01:45 PM
Does anyone think Machida can beat Rashad Evans this weekend?

Absolutely.

raybec 4
05-21-2009, 01:46 PM
So were you in then??

Yep,another component of the story is the Fayetnam popo (they hate soldiers) tried to give me a DUI. Because I was lying in a bloody heap next to the Jeep and refused to admit that I was driving they couldn't make it stick. While I was in the hospital my entire squad went to the location in question for some payback. I can't say it was the correct group, but there was a large group of very unhappy youths at the Taco Bell that night. My First Sgt was super cool and was able to keep me out of any trouble for having an alcohol related incident.

Tuckdaddy
05-21-2009, 02:03 PM
I stuck this Biznatch Mutha straight up in his grill and then he proceeded to Whoop my azz!

wild1
05-21-2009, 02:16 PM
only real one for me was, in college over the summer I was at this party in an apartment complex in KC, and for some reason this guy i never saw before and this girl i knew started yelling at each other. he kept putting his hand on her back or something, i don't remember what. one of my buddies told him to get out, and he hit him with a bottle, some kind of hard liquor bottle. somehow the bottle didn't break but he went down. i was standing behind the guy and i grabbed him in kind of a bear hug from behind, with both my arms around his arms and swung him into a wall, his head bashed in the sheet rock. all i gave him was a kick in the ribs but a couple of other people got in some shots and then he got hit with the bottle. it ended by us throwing him out the door and down the stairs. he was just some hat sideways retard from the next building, we never saw him again.

Redrum_69
05-21-2009, 02:21 PM
Jesus, theres alot of washups and hasbeens on this forum.

Katipan
05-21-2009, 02:22 PM
And at least one neverwas.

DaFace
05-21-2009, 02:23 PM
I've never once been in a fight where punches were thrown. Does that make me a pussy?

raybec 4
05-21-2009, 02:23 PM
And at least one neverwas.

Hey, that was a good story!!

Katipan
05-21-2009, 02:24 PM
Hey, that was a good story!!

Pshaw. No one tapped.

Katipan
05-21-2009, 02:25 PM
I've never once been in a fight where punches were thrown. Does that make me a pussy?

No. The fact that you ran away with your skirt over your head made you a pussy.

raybec 4
05-21-2009, 02:25 PM
Pshaw. No one tapped.

I wanted to but I couldn't lift my arms.

bdeg
05-21-2009, 02:26 PM
i like to think the people that lost just aren't posting and we're all telling the truth

Redrum_69
05-21-2009, 02:27 PM
And at least one neverwas.


I've seen pictures of you.

I doubt you would be in that category.

Theres a special category just for you.

M.I.L.F

Katipan
05-21-2009, 02:28 PM
I've seen pictures of you.

I doubt you would be in that category.

Theres a special category just for you.

M.I.L.F

Everyone looks way better when viewed through a sniper scope.

wild1
05-21-2009, 02:31 PM
I've never once been in a fight where punches were thrown. Does that make me a pussy?

it's good, it means you don't mouth off, or you have not had the misfortune of hanging out with n'er-do-wells

Redrum_69
05-21-2009, 02:31 PM
Everyone looks way better when viewed through a sniper scope.

I bet your pink mist would be the sweetest of them all...

keg in kc
05-21-2009, 02:32 PM
I've seen pictures of you.

I doubt you would be in that category.

Theres a special category just for you.

M.I.L.FSo she's really a girl? I always thought Mer was some 50 year old bald guy named Burt who posted in boxers and one of those white sleeveless tees.

Huh. Learn something new every day.

Halfcan
05-21-2009, 02:36 PM
I took out 15 guys with one punch...

Chuck Norris

rambleonthruthefog
05-21-2009, 03:05 PM
here is the story of my lone loss. i'll make it quick.

i pop him in the face 2 or 3 times. he swings 2-3 times. i duck them all then go in for the tackle(with poor form). he locks his arms around my neck and falls backward slamming my head into the concrete. i'm knocked the f out. the only part i actually remember is waking up with my shirt all torn. i have no idea how it tore.

seclark
05-21-2009, 03:08 PM
the only part i actually remember is waking up with my shirt all torn. i have no idea how it tore.

same here...every time i've had the crap beat out of me...err...i mean was in a fight, i always wound up w/a torn up shirt. also, in most cases a broken nose.
sec

El Jefe
05-21-2009, 03:32 PM
I've never lost a fight but never been in a fight after high school. I've been in a few confrontations I knew I would loose if it came to blows. One night I was balling at the rec center and a guy who I thought was alright nailed me in the face when I was shooting. I was pissed and confronted him, he started to square off with me, and he shoved me, and I was about to lock and load, but when I saw a few of his buddies getting behind him, I knew it was just trouble. He is a very big dude, played DT at Ohio State, he's about 6'8 320 and pretty dang big. I am much more athletic, but if he got ahold of me or his buddies helped him, and he got a clean shot on me, it would cause some major damage.

Side story, I played a lot of AAU basketball in high school. It was my birthday, and I had a game on a Sunday, which my parents usually wouldn't let me go to because of church. Anyways they let me go, and I wish they hadny. My team was playing this hillbilly team from Kentucky, and it was a physical game, and I was talking a little with this one guy the whole game. I locked his arm back on this rebound, and I was feeling pretty good, when BAM he swung his elbow straight into my eye, and started laughing. He opened a gash under my right eye, I was bleeding like a stuck pig. Long story short, I had to go the the ER, 9 stiches and a huge scar later, thats what I get for skipping church.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 03:37 PM
my bro thats in lima got smashed in the face with a full beer bottle, i wasnt there but they were goin at it with couches,knives & swords.;)

In the end it didnt end well for those people.

Dont fuck with my friends.:)

Redrum_69
05-21-2009, 03:39 PM
my bro thats in lima got smashed in the face with a full beer bottle, i wasnt there but they were goin at it with couches,knives & swords.;)

In the end it didnt end well for those people.

Dont **** with my friends.:)


holy shit, did they work in a furniture factory?

El Jefe
05-21-2009, 03:39 PM
my bro thats in lima got smashed in the face with a full beer bottle, i wasnt there but they were goin at it with couches,knives & swords.;)

In the end it didnt end well for those people.

Dont **** with my friends.:)

I've got one buddy, well he's my dad's buddy, who I honestly don't think many could beat this guy in a real fight. I'm not talking MMA, I'm talking about a street fight, but 1 on 1 and no weapons.

Big Daddy, I bet could kick some major ass, if his shoulder is getting back to normal.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 03:41 PM
One time we ambushed a whole gang of dudes in the woods, they had machetes and shit but we blitzed em so bad they cut and run. the poor bastards. kicked a guy in the ass so hard he went from screaming to dead silence.

El Jefe
05-21-2009, 03:41 PM
holy shit, did they work in a furniture factory?

You mean, you don't wield a couch in your strong hand when you're fighting? Pffft n00b.

El Jefe
05-21-2009, 03:41 PM
One time we ambushed a whole gang of dudes in the woods, they had machetes and shit but we blitzed em so bad they cut and run. the poor bastards. kicked a guy in the ass so hard he went from screaming to dead silence.

Where do you live, Africa?

TrebMaxx
05-21-2009, 03:41 PM
Ha! This takes me back about 26 years ago. Young, dumb and full of myself. All I remember about my last fight was throwing a punch and then waking up. Blood pouring out of my mouth. Got myself a nice shattered jaw. Benefit provided was that my wisdom teeth came out so I never had to pay a dentist for that. I am still to this day reminded every once in awhile about the event when a sliver of jaw bone decides to painfully work its way out through my gums. Not pleasant. I guess that's why it was my last fight.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 03:42 PM
holy shit, did they work in a furniture factory?

just used what was handy.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 03:44 PM
I've got one buddy, well he's my dad's buddy, who I honestly don't think many could beat this guy in a real fight. I'm not talking MMA, I'm talking about a street fight, but 1 on 1 and no weapons.

Big Daddy, I bet could kick some major ass, if his shoulder is getting back to normal.

Like my father told me " Matthew there is always someone tougher".
i would think sure but is there "meaner"? He was a good man told me he had never been in a fight in his life, but like it has been discussed here before them vietnam guys carry big sticks.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 03:45 PM
Where do you live, Africa?

It was 3 on 20. Hand to god. great victory.

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 03:47 PM
same here...every time i've had the crap beat out of me...err...i mean was in a fight, i always wound up w/a torn up shirt. also, in most cases a broken nose.
sec

The black dudes in the hood i hang out in sometimes have taken to calling me 'Tyson'.

El Jefe
05-21-2009, 03:49 PM
The black dudes in the hood i hang out in sometimes have taken to calling me 'Tyson'.

So you talk with a lisp, and hate white people?

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 03:51 PM
So you talk with a lisp, and hate white people?

no, but i bit a guys thumb off in a bar fight.

Katipan
05-21-2009, 03:51 PM
So she's really a girl? I always thought Mer was some 50 year old bald guy named Burt who posted in boxers and one of those white sleeveless tees.

Huh. Learn something new every day.

That's Miss Burt to you.

Saccopoo
05-21-2009, 03:55 PM
Hmmm...it's been awhile.

One time, after we beat OU in football for the first time in a long time (1992 with that great to watch Dana Stubblefield, Gilbert Brown, Dan Eichloft (sp?) team), me and two other buddies were down at Louise's West after we tore down the goal post (yeah, that was my idea, and I was the only one in the stadium who remember that the sucker was supposed to go into Potters Pond - idiots wanted to throw it over the back of the stadium - thank god genius prevailed) drinking those delectable fish bowl schooners getting annihilated (topping off the Jim Beam cocktails we were savoring during the course of the game). Apparently, at some point in the evening, we stumbled outside, a SUV drives by with some OU stuff painted on the side, I yell some derogatory remark about their mothers, their lineage and their school. Six or seven guys jump out and proceed to beat the living crap out of two of us. (The other "buddy" took off running as soon as their car stopped.) I remember lying in the gutter/ditch on the north side of the bar as a couple of them kicked me in the ribs and punched my head and thinking that if I wasn't so completely shit faced to the point of not being able to fight my way out of a wet paper bag that this would be a bit more sporting.

The last time was at Kelly's in Westport. Some kid kept coming up to me and telling me that his friend banged my girlfriend. He was drunk as hell, his friend kept apologizing profusely, and since I wasn't with my girlfriend that night, I kept letting it slide. About the fifth time it happened, I got a little annoyed. Followed him into the bathroom, asked him to stop, he said something derogatory about my mother and I proceeded to pummel his head then insert it into the toilet until my friend dragged me off him.

Not necessarily a fight, but I was in South Beach in 2000, and got dragged back to my hotel room by two security guards after I crashed some party at the hotel. (Same thing happened in 1998 at the ...shit, what's the name of that Blues bar down on Sunset in LA?...anyway, I was in LA for a conference/show and we decided to go see Johnny Lang play there, but the show was over, but there was this raging after party going on that we could hear. Climbed up the fire escape and crawled in through a window and partied for about 20 minutes until we got tossed out on our ear by the bouncers.)

MOhillbilly
05-21-2009, 03:57 PM
I once fought 5 bouncer to a standstill at the regency. i told em if theyd just let me walk out id leave, and they did.

keg in kc
05-21-2009, 04:00 PM
That's Miss Burt to you.That's better than Mistress Burt.

Saccopoo
05-21-2009, 04:02 PM
That's better than Mistress Burt.

No it's not.

keg in kc
05-21-2009, 04:07 PM
No it's not.I guess not, if you're looking for a 50-year old guy in boxers to shove a horsetail dildo up your ass so he can fulfill that petting zoo pony fantasy he's always had, just before he makes you lick his stilettos off.

NTTAWWT

Saccopoo
05-21-2009, 04:08 PM
I guess not, if you're looking for a 50-year old guy in boxers to shove a horsetail dildo up your ass so he can fulfill that petting zoo pony fantasy he's always had, just before he makes you lick his stilettos off.

NTTAWWT

Awesome. Katipan keeps getting hotter and hotter.

SnakeXJones
05-21-2009, 04:10 PM
Never lost a fight but my last one ended up fighting 3 guys at the same time and im on the ground laughing like im the joker. Seriously, I never though grown men hit like a fucking kid i was terribly wrong.

Halfcan
05-21-2009, 04:49 PM
Never lost a fight but my last one ended up fighting 3 guys at the same time and im on the ground laughing like im the joker. Seriously, I never though grown men hit like a ****ing kid i was terribly wrong.

wow 3 guys kicking your ass while you are the ground-and you laugh

amazing

Halfcan
05-21-2009, 05:04 PM
I once fought 12 Ninja's to the death in a bar and never spilled my beer.

Ari Chi3fs
05-21-2009, 05:37 PM
Mine happened at a bar in Peculiar a few weeks back... I was watching a couple of friends since grade school's band... well the bassist is my friend Richards cousin... apparently the bassist and his wife are swingers... and they were swinging with this couple in the audience...

well, the show is over and the bassist and this chicks husband/boyfriend start getting into it... Im standing right there... the dude pushes the bassist into me. I get outta the way, and he starts to swing at the bassist, I grab his arm into a sort of half nelson, and fall backwards to the left... and ram his head into a side bar counter and it knocks him out.

For a minute, I thought I killed the guy as his nose was all bleeding as he was passed out cold. It happened so quick... it was nutso. But, I was the hero once again... all teh chicks swooned.

So, I wouldn't recommend fucking with me. I might ruin your day. heh.

CHENZ A!
05-21-2009, 05:39 PM
Last fight I got into was about 5 or 6 yrs ago. It was me vs like 4 or 5 bouncers. My boy had his cousin in town, and 50 Cent in da club came on LMAO and he started dancing and bumped the chair of some dude. He said sorry, but now this whole table of assholes just kept mugging us hard all night, and for every dirty look they'd give, my smile would get bigger and bigger. I was laughing at them because they were getting so riled up over nothing.

It turns out the table full of assholes were friends with the bouncers so the bouncers came over to kick us out. I was like **** it lets go, but I was running my mouth REAL good on the way out the door. Was about 2 feet from the doorway, and one bouncer grabs me by the shirt in my chest and throws my back against the wall. I broke his face, and the whole group of us spilled outside to the sidewalk. People were coming at me from all angles and I was just punching, kicking, biting, scratching, grabbing, clawing, just trying to protect my face and get in a few shots. Then me and one of the bouncers went to the ground, I got the upper hand and tagged him twice, started to stand up and as soon as I got on my feet got maced directly in my right eye. I put my arms out and was like if anyone sucker punches me I will kill you. Which is when the cops tackled me to the ground.

I got a ticket for fighting in public, of course skipped that court date just like all the other ones at the time, and now had warrants in both states. When I finally went back to court to get my shit straight the case was dropped because the bouncer that I punched originally didn't show up this time. He had shown up to the first court date, and so this was the ONE AND ONLY instance where skipping court actually turned out good. I'm still stupid as hell, but thankfully not as dumb as I was. :shake:

I have never been an angry drunk, and nowadays I am darn right passive if someone starts to talk shit, I just tell them to keep it moving. Fighting just aint sexy. My fists are retired, unless to protect someone. I don't believe anyone could provoke me to fight by just saying something.

Don't fight kids. Let the other dudes fight then snatch their chick. :)


EDIT- just wanted to add that I HAVE had my ass kicked before, and it's not fun getting kicked in the face. I don't consider myself a tough guy, or a good fighter by any means. This was just the most recent time it happened.

Buehler445
05-21-2009, 05:51 PM
I've never been in a real knock down dragout to speak of. Close though.

Coincidentally, I've almost had to back uo my parents a couple times. The first time was during summer league basketball. We beat the shit out of this team from Larned so naturally, they're talking shit after the game. We're in the parking lot loading up our stuff in the car and my mom tells them they need to leave. So they start talking shit on her (WTF?!). Rather than just get disgusted and just walk away, she starts yelling at them. So then they start talking like they're going to fight her. So my buddy and I tell them they should spend some time in the gym, because they're horrible. My buddy takes a crack at their sexual orientation and they leave talking shit the whole way. Seriously who the fuck talks shit on somebody's mom? And seriously, are you going to fight her? Get the fuck out of here. I should have egged them on and turned my mom loose on them. She probably would have smoked them.

Then when I'm in college, I go to a party for my cousin's graduation (she had the nerves in her shoulder separated from her spine in a jet ski accident, so my family has been really supportive of her). Anyway, everyone is there having a good time. I walk by the table where my parents are and my dad stands up and stops me. Then he puts his hand on this guys shoulder (apparently he was mouthing off to one of the ladies, I think it was my aunt) and says, "does someone need their ass kicked? It got him to shut up and everyone played it off as a joke, but my dad was trying to get me in some shit.

Hopefully I never have to get real because people are fucking with my family.
Posted via Mobile Device

Skip Towne
05-21-2009, 05:51 PM
I can whip anybody. I'm 8 feet tall. Oh, wait, that's just on the internet.

Bwana
05-21-2009, 06:13 PM
I can whip anybody. I'm 8 feet tall. Oh, wait, that's just on the internet.

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<SCRIPT language=JavaScript src="../../ringup_song.js"></SCRIPT>
I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I've never been to second base
But there's whole Ďnother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that Iím mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
Iím so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my mac
In real life the only time Iíve ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade

Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that Iím mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
Iím so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online

When you got my kind of stats
Itís hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

Online
Iím out in Hollywood
Iím 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
Iím so much cooler online
Yeah, Iím cooler online
Iím so much cooler online
Yeah, Iím cooler online

Yeah, Iím cooler online

Yeah, Iíll see ya online

Katipan
05-21-2009, 06:17 PM
Yeah, Iíll see ya online

LMAO LMAO

Oh what I'd do for a female version.

GoHuge
05-21-2009, 07:35 PM
Like ten years ago. When I was a senior I had just got a brand new TA. Dude's girl had just broken up with him and she started liking me. He had a TA but was the lil v-6 one. I lived in the next town over and those boys didn't like us one bit. I guess when you lose your girl to a dude that just made your hot rod car look like the lil v-6 one you get pretty pissed. Had heard this guy wanted to beat my ass and he was supposed to be a bad dude. I saw him coming behind me and my heart was about to beat out of my chest. He pulled up at the stoplight and told me to leave town. I just kept on going and then he started to either run me off the road or get me to stop to beat my ass. I was scared of him but the fact he had four buddies between him and the other car trying to block me in really scared me. Called some of my buddies and told them to meet me at a parking lot. I decided I was gonna fight this f**ker but didn't want his buddies jumping in. I'd only been in one other fight and that was when I was 15. He came running right at me and slammed my back into the spoiler on my car. Hurt like hell but broke the nerves a little. I just went at him and we both started swinging like two people that didn't know how to fight (you've seen the YouTube videos). Finally out of pure luck I connected on one....sent him flying on his ass. He got back up and came at me in a bull rush I kind of stepped out of the way and grabbed him. Put him in a headlock and just pounded on his head in the the same spot until he dropped. He got back up with blood spraying out above his eye and he was smiling. I was thinking what the hell is wrong with this guy? He came at me again and I just body slammed him head first into the gravel. He was still smiling and his buddies grabbed him saying "that's enough." I was glad because I didn't want to keep beating his ass. Turns out he was high on crank so I could have beat him till he was damn near dead and he would have kept coming.

An hour later a truck load of his buddies decided to try and beat my ass. Lucky for me my older brothers had gotten into town. When they pulled up and started jumping out they saw my older brothers with some other buddies and then they just kinda lost interest. Never heard from him again. That was a fun night but I'll do anything to avoid actual fighting unless I have no choice. It's just a stupid way to handle things. A simple fist fight can end with someone dying. One of my good friends got in a fight when he was about twenty. He was a badass dude, but the other guy started it and came after him. He just clubbed this dude and knocked him on his ass. Unfortunately when he fell he hit his head on the curb. Died instantly. DA tried to press manslaughter charges against him but didn't have a case because of all the eyewitnesses all claiming it was self defense. There is always a better way to deal with that shit, unless your absolutely cornered. I consider any fight a life threatening situation. You gotta do what you gotta do to protect yourself.

stevieray
05-21-2009, 08:57 PM
Some chick threw a drink on me and it took all my friends holding me back from kicking five guys asses.

Bowser
05-21-2009, 09:08 PM
This thread reads like one big resume for FSU.

KCUnited
05-21-2009, 09:08 PM
Does a pool ball in a sock count?

Reaper16
05-21-2009, 09:30 PM
This thread reads like one big resume for FSU.
I was thinking the same thing, especially w/ MOHillbilly. You just don't fuck with old-school hardcore punk guys.

Mr. Flopnuts
05-21-2009, 10:43 PM
This is one helluva fish story thread.

Skip Towne
05-21-2009, 10:49 PM
This thread has enough BS in it. I'm saving my lies for next time.

Frazod
05-21-2009, 11:02 PM
I beat the hell out of my wife's ex back in '97. Will go into more detail when I'm not posting on an iPhone from outside bumblefuck Branson.

unothadeal
05-22-2009, 10:44 AM
Didn't read most of the thread

Are there any stories where the poster isn't Steven Segal?

Katipan
05-22-2009, 10:46 AM
That reminds me of the time I kicked Steven Segal's ass.

bdeg
05-22-2009, 10:53 AM
Didn't read most of the thread

Are there any stories where the poster isn't Steven Segal?

i got suckerpunched by one of five guys walking by us on the sidewalk.

walking downtown with a buddy of mine around bar close to get some food and talk to some ladies, smokin a cigar, deep in intoxicated conversation, and not even glancing at the group, next thing i knew i was on the pavement.
lost a tooth and had a second nearly parallel to my tongue.
that was a long night

iowa city has gotten kinda rough, i knew a guy that used to walk around with an asp baton about once a week

unothadeal
05-22-2009, 10:53 AM
That reminds me of the time I kicked Steven Segal's ass.

"So I'm jumping from rooftop to rooftop..."

MOhillbilly
05-22-2009, 10:57 AM
I beat the hell out of my wife's ex back in '97. Will go into more detail when I'm not posting on an iPhone from outside bumble**** Branson.

if you roll through springtown and are around the square hit me up. ill buy you a beer and get you a dance across the street.;)

JD10367
05-22-2009, 10:59 AM
I lost. And, damn, that chick made me pay for it... I couldn't walk straight for days.

Oh, wait... Misread the title, thought it said "fisting fight". Sorry.

Iowanian
05-22-2009, 11:02 AM
this week a young cousin of mine and a friend were in a regional city, got jumped by 3 guys and beat to piss and robbed.

I think there is more to the story than they told, but my cousin, who isn't an oz over 125lbs was beaten by 2 men, unconscious, teeth through face...stuff like that. Wrong side of town, doing something stupid I'm guessing. easy targets.

raybec 4
05-22-2009, 11:08 AM
Didn't read most of the thread

Are there any stories where the poster isn't Steven Segal?

Yeah post 55 has me taking quite a beating, (from Karma according to Katipan) it's a funny story though.

Valiant
05-24-2009, 06:09 PM
Me too.

Which means he'll lose :(

Cheers Kati:) He won..

BigVE
05-24-2009, 06:30 PM
I spit a nasty green snot-loogy that landed precisely in our paper boy's ear as he rode by on his bike. He was pissed. I was laughing. He hit me, I hit him, I broke my hand and got a black eye. He got a broken nose and two black eyes. I was 13.

Frazod
05-24-2009, 08:40 PM
if you roll through springtown and are around the square hit me up. ill buy you a beer and get you a dance across the street.;)

This must have dropped off the front page before I noticed it (iPhone isn't exactly scrolling friendly, especially with a weak signal). Didn't notice it until now.

Maybe next time.

Just checking - you no longer want to kill me, right? :D

Pablo
05-24-2009, 08:40 PM
The most recent real fist-fight I've been involved in took place a few years back on New Years Eve. I got arrested a couple of weeks ago for disorderly conduct, in connection with trying to break up a fight my buddie's were in; but I didn't actually fight in that one. Still got arrested by the asshole St. Joseph P.D. of course. Fuck them.

Anyhow, we were at a New Years Eve Party, I think we were celebrating 2006. This was at the community center in Maysville, MO. Some group we all were vaguely familiar with had rented it out, and when we got there it was a semi-rave type bullshit. People were on acid and ecstasy, we were just drinking beer.

There was one guy that was rolling his ass off, and he was being a total douche, he took his shirt off, his eyes were the size of half-dollars, and he was being pretty aggressive most of the night. Anyhow, they had a bunch of hot dogs boiling in the kitchen for a snack of some sort, so we all filed in there to get something to eat. My buddy Dave picked up a hotdog bun and threw it at the guy that was all fucked up and hit him in the back of the head. It was funny, so instinctively, I started laughing.

He didn't think it was very funny, and asked if I threw the bun at him. I told him 'no', because I hadn't; and that pissed him off. He said, 'Well, you know who threw it then, who did it?'. I told him I did know who threw it, but I wasn't telling him shit.

He then asked me if I wanted to 'grapple'. I declined and told him to just chill the fuck out, and then he stepped in on me like he was going to wrap me up or something, so I instinctively punched him square in the jaw. His head whipped back and came straight back up, and he reached out and grabbed my chain and ripped it off my neck.

Then I grabbed him by the throat with my left hand, and hit him about 3 or 4 more times in the face while people were breaking the shit up. He said "Hit me again motherfucker, I like it" as I was punching him. He managed to break my chain and he punched me in the neck, but it was obvious I wasn't gonna do shit to the guy. I drilled him with at least 4 solid overhand crosses, and he wasn't feeling shit. He was so fucked up, I don't even think he could even throw effective counters.

I don't know what he was on, but I'd venture to guess he was on ice or a really powerful roll, because I probably could have punched him 30 times and he'd still be ready to go. The only really funny thing that happened during that fight is their 'security' dude tried to break the shit up, and he was every bit of 6'2" and 145 pounds. He was wearing a rainbow wig, and my buddy Colby pushed him over a table and he went head over heals. That was pretty humorous.

So, it wasn't really a fight, just a minor altercation with some guy that was incredibly spun out over a hotdog bun in Maysville, MO.

Skip Towne
05-24-2009, 08:53 PM
The most recent real fist-fight I've been involved in took place a few years back on New Years Eve. I got arrested a couple of weeks ago for disorderly conduct, in connection with trying to break up a fight my buddie's were in; but I didn't actually fight in that one. Still got arrested by the asshole St. Joseph P.D. of course. Fuck them.

Anyhow, we were at a New Years Eve Party, I think we were celebrating 2006. This was at the community center in Maysville, MO. Some group we all were vaguely familiar with had rented it out, and when we got there it was a semi-rave type bullshit. People were on acid and ecstasy, we were just drinking beer.

There was one guy that was rolling his ass off, and he was being a total douche, he took his shirt off, his eyes were the size of half-dollars, and he was being pretty aggressive most of the night. Anyhow, they had a bunch of hot dogs boiling in the kitchen for a snack of some sort, so we all filed in there to get something to eat. My buddy Dave picked up a hotdog bun and threw it at the guy that was all fucked up and hit him in the back of the head. It was funny, so instinctively, I started laughing.

He didn't think it was very funny, and asked if I threw the bun at him. I told him 'no', because I hadn't; and that pissed him off. He said, 'Well, you know who threw it then, who did it?'. I told him I did know who threw it, but I wasn't telling him shit.

He then asked me if I wanted to 'grapple'. I declined and told him to just chill the fuck out, and then he stepped in on me like he was going to wrap me up or something, so I instinctively punched him square in the jaw. His head whipped back and came straight back up, and he reached out and grabbed my chain and ripped it off my neck.

Then I grabbed him by the throat with my left hand, and hit him about 3 or 4 more times in the face while people were breaking the shit up. He said "Hit me again motherfucker, I like it" as I was punching him. He managed to break my chain and he punched me in the neck, but it was obvious I wasn't gonna do shit to the guy. I drilled him with at least 4 solid overhand crosses, and he wasn't feeling shit. He was so fucked up, I don't even think he could even throw effective counters.

I don't know what he was on, but I'd venture to guess he was on ice or a really powerful roll, because I probably could have punched him 30 times and he'd still be ready to go. The only really funny thing that happened during that fight is their 'security' dude tried to break the shit up, and he was every bit of 6'2" and 145 pounds. He was wearing a rainbow wig, and my buddy Colby pushed him over a table and he went head over heals. That was pretty humorous.

So, it wasn't really a fight, just a minor altercation with some guy that was incredibly spun out over a hotdog bun in Maysville, MO.

You must not hit very hard.

Pablo
05-24-2009, 09:07 PM
I'm gonna post the most recent altercation I was 'involved' in, because it's pretty much bullshit.

And it goes to show how deep the border war runs at times.

Here goes, it's a little long:

My friends and I were leaving a bar in downtown St. Joe. It was me, my buddies Justin, Colby, and Dave. Dave is a Mizzou fan, and he's my roommate, he's one of my closest friends. He's short and stocky, and strong as fuck. Colby was back in town from NY, he's in the Navy, and has no college team preference. Justin is far and away the best fighter of any of us, he's a pretty badass dude, and he's in the Army. Just a little set-up here. We're all 22-23 years old.

We're walking out of the bar, and we walk by a car with two guys standing outside, very drunk, whiskey drunk, probably in their early 30's. One dude looks at me as I walk by and says "Fuck your shirt". I'm wearing a KU T-shirt. I say "Hey fuck you man, you pissed because we kicked your ass last year at Arrowhead still?".

I stop to just talk shit with the guy, no ill intentions on my part, just sports banter. My buddies stop about 10 feet away, waiting for me to unlock the car. The guy is quite a bit bigger than I am, he's probably close to 6'4" or so. I say, "We'll see who wins this year man".

Then he responds with, "We'll win right now if I punch you in the face". Keep in mind, I'm reasonably sober, and this guy is most definitely drunk off his ass. I tell him, "I'm not fighting you over a T-Shirt, man". At that moment, all three of my friends move in directly behind me, and Dave says "Hey, I'm an MU fan too man, it's cool". Justin chimes in with "That's my boy, you ain't gonna do shit" at approximately the same time.

No sooner did Justin say that shit, than his buddy(fairly small, 32 year old dude), who had been cool the whole time, just blindsided Justin. I saw the dude start to throw the punch from the corner of my eye, and spun around just as he hit him. Justin wrapped the dude up and threw him to the ground. Dave was on top of that dude instantly, popping him in the back of the head. I went towards that pile and went to grab Dave off the top of the guy when I saw the Cops no more than 10 feet away.

Apparently, as soon as we all went with the crowd; Colby punched the bigger dude in the face, and then they went to ground and fought on the asphalt. I didn't watch that fight, so I don't know what happened, I was focused on the dude that blindsided Justin. I just wanted to break the pile up, but the cops were there fucking instantly. They said they'd been watching us, and they were literally crouched between cars in the parking lot.

Anyhow, as soon as I saw the cops I threw up my hands and backed away from the pile. Dave got tasered instantly, and the cops told me to sit down. Colby was maybe 15 feet away, and he had the police dog sicked on him. Tore a little hole in his side, and bit the shit outta his ass. The sicked the dogs on us, and used the tazer. And apparently, they watched the whole thing go down. I didn't even hit anyone, and I didn't get hit at all, and I complied with the police as soon as I saw them.

I still got arrested and cited for disorderly conduct. When I explained the situation to the officer, and that I hadn't actually done anything violent, and asked why I was being arrested, he told me "Wrong place, wrong time buddy". And we all got arrested, except for the big, drunk asshole who started the whole thing because he told the cops he got jumped by us, and that Colby had blindsided him. The smaller dude that hit Justin ended up with a cut eyebrow, and a bloody mouth. Dave got tasered and pissed bout a silver dollar in his pants, and Colby got his shirt destroyed and his ass mauled by a German Shepherd.

Then the three of us spent 14 hours in Buchanan County lock-up, hoping the assholes would release us in the morning. But they didn't. The whole fight started over some super drunk Mizzou asshole commenting on my t-shirt, and I didn't even physically hit anyone; and I still got arrested.

Sorry for the super-long read.

Pablo
05-24-2009, 09:08 PM
You must not hit very hard.No, I hit plenty hard. I've been in enough fights with people that weren't hopped up on shit to know I can hit hard enough if need be.

This dude was on another level. He was pretty damn spun out.

BCD
05-24-2009, 09:13 PM
I haven't been in a fight since the early 90s. I don't remember what started it, but this guy I knew walked up to me a said some shit I can't remember. He took a swing, I blocked it, he had me up against my door. It was open. I was trapped. So, shoved him in the chest very hard. He fell on his ass, I stood over him and told him he better fucking leave. That was it.