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View Full Version : Life First day at new job.


big nasty kcnut
05-21-2009, 02:39 PM
I'm a little nervous. I suck bad these people don't know me. I hope i do well in this.
Posted via Mobile Device

Redrum_69
05-21-2009, 02:41 PM
and yet you post on this forum on the first day.....

at work...

Scorp
05-21-2009, 02:41 PM
I'm a little nervous. I suck bad these people don't know me. I hope i do well in this.
Posted via Mobile Device

Relax and just pat the pretty girls on the ass. They love that! ;)

Posted via Prison

MoreLemonPledge
05-21-2009, 02:41 PM
You'll be fine, don't worry.

Pestilence
05-21-2009, 02:42 PM
and yet you post on this forum on the first day.....

at work...

He's probably in the shitter.....give him a break. Plus he's fucking management now....so who cares.

Kyle DeLexus
05-21-2009, 02:43 PM
He's probably in the shitter.....give him a break. Plus he's ****ing management now....so who cares.

Thats the truth, once your management (or an Administrative Assistant) you can do whatever you want.

Mr. Krab
05-21-2009, 02:44 PM
Just stayed focused and work hard. You'll be fine.

Jenson71
05-21-2009, 02:44 PM
Work hard and be kind.

DeezNutz
05-21-2009, 02:45 PM
Good luck, nut. You wouldn't have gotten the job if the powers that be thought you couldn't handle it.

seclark
05-21-2009, 02:45 PM
give 'em hell, nut!
sec

Scorp
05-21-2009, 02:45 PM
P.S.

Your employees might be a little freaked out that Donnie Edwards is their new boss.

Redrum_69
05-21-2009, 02:46 PM
tell the first bitch you see that you like your coffee black and thick...kind of like how claythan likes his men...

Jenson71
05-21-2009, 02:46 PM
If an employee steals a taco, don't call the cops. It's not worth it.

Scorp
05-21-2009, 02:47 PM
tell the first bitch you see that you like your coffee black and thick...kind of like how claythan likes his men...


Haha rep! :D

Buck
05-21-2009, 02:48 PM
Also, a $2 Bill is in fact legal U.S. Tender

Kyle DeLexus
05-21-2009, 02:49 PM
Change the menu so you only serve Ortega tacos, because Ortega makes Shawn Johnson's Taco pop

DeepSouth
05-21-2009, 02:50 PM
I'm a little nervous. I suck bad these people don't know me. I hope i do well in this.
Posted via Mobile Device

You were only hired because you're black. They won't fire you because they fear a descrimination law suit.

Redrum_69
05-21-2009, 02:52 PM
You should post pictures of Barry Sanders wearing Oklahoma and Wichita jersies all over your new office.

When people ask about the new memorabilia...tell them you went to school with him....

You'll get instant street cred for sure.

Iowanian
05-21-2009, 02:59 PM
They're Tacos, Nut.

Just fold the tortilla differently if someone complains....NOW its a TOSTADA, Ma'am!

Iowanian
05-21-2009, 03:00 PM
Beat the shit out of the first employee that back talks, stuff the hand of the first slacker into the fry grease the first day.....then no one will eff with your career at Taco villa.

seclark
05-21-2009, 03:05 PM
hey nut...mail me a case of these bad-boys. they're the only thing i can eat from tb that doesn't give me the bloody shits.
nails!
sec

crazycoffey
05-21-2009, 03:07 PM
good luck!

tooge
05-21-2009, 03:07 PM
just ask the obligatory paper or plastic. Otherwise keep your mouth shut and smile.

Simply Red
05-21-2009, 03:13 PM
ask the folks if they'd like to hear about the specials, then smile.

done.

That'll be 99.95 please.

Redrum_69
05-21-2009, 03:21 PM
With all this talk about tacos...you must be working at a gynecologist office..


The next time you have one in the stirrups ask her if she comes here often....or maybe you can check her history, find out what her zodiac sign is, then during her check up tell her she looks like a (sagitarrius, leo, scopio, etc)...that will blow her mind...

CoMoChief
05-21-2009, 03:25 PM
I'm a little nervous. I suck bad these people don't know me. I hope i do well in this.
Posted via Mobile Device

posted on mobile device.......JFC do you have a life?

big nasty kcnut
05-21-2009, 03:26 PM
No i haven't started yet. I go in at 5.
Posted via Mobile Device

big nasty kcnut
05-21-2009, 03:27 PM
Como i don't have a computer. Yes i have a life.
Posted via Mobile Device

Redrum_69
05-21-2009, 03:28 PM
No i haven't started yet. I go in at 5.
Posted via Mobile Device


You should show up an hour late and then make up some petty excuse...

Then on the second day of work...you should ask them when the drug test will be...

Both of these actions should show them you are being proactive.

Hell, you may even get a raise...

Halfcan
05-21-2009, 03:29 PM
drink a 5th of Jack before you go in every day-that should Calm your nerves and let you be yourself

Redrum_69
05-21-2009, 03:30 PM
Tell the secretary you'll tip her well if she swallows.

That will make a great impression.

Pestilence
05-21-2009, 03:32 PM
posted on mobile device.......JFC do you have a life?

12000 posts......do you have a life?

Mr. Flopnuts
05-21-2009, 03:35 PM
12000 posts......do you have a life?

Hey!!! :cuss:

Redrum_69
05-21-2009, 03:37 PM
On the next day your manager is there...bring a briefcase loaded with Playmate pictorials and plant it in the guys bathroom and make sure not close the latches...then tell your coworker its his day to clean the bathroom...then tell your manager that the coworker has been in the bathroom for awhile and you are too busy to go check on him...hilarity will ensue when the manager opens the door and catches your coworker trying to stuff all the pron into the briefcase...

Skip Towne
05-21-2009, 03:46 PM
Hey, 'Nut, you do realize that what you're selling is shit, right? Well, it may not be when you sell it but it will be in an hour or two. Make sure your employees are aware of that.

Mr. Flopnuts
05-21-2009, 03:50 PM
On the next day your manager is there...bring a briefcase loaded with Playmate pictorials and plant it in the guys bathroom and make sure not close the latches...then tell your coworker its his day to clean the bathroom...then tell your manager that the coworker has been in the bathroom for awhile and you are too busy to go check on him...hilarity will ensue when the manager opens the door and catches your coworker trying to stuff all the pron into the briefcase...

LMAO How the fuck do you come up with this shit. Let me tell you this, you're not someone I'd want to fuck over IRL.

luv
05-21-2009, 03:53 PM
Good luck. You'll be fine.

Rain Man
05-21-2009, 09:32 PM
Right now, I bet kcnut is wowing them with his innovative 'cheese on the bottom, lettuce on the top' formula.

Raised On Riots
05-21-2009, 10:03 PM
Right now, I bet kcnut is wowing them with his innovative 'cheese on the bottom, lettuce on the top' formula.

Piss on Taco Bell and their illogical methods; cheese DOES belong on the bottom because it gets nice and melty.

Kyle DeLexus
05-21-2009, 10:05 PM
How did it go nut?

Redrum_69
05-22-2009, 02:26 AM
LMAO How the **** do you come up with this shit. Let me tell you this, you're not someone I'd want to **** over IRL.


well, its like this. During the day I get hyped up on Full Throttle and AMP Lemonade. That caffeine boost provides my mind with the ability to be rhetoric occasionally. Either that or I'm just demented and have seen some shit go down that I put in the back of my mind that eventually triggers a response.

Or maybe I'm clinically insane after being out of work for the last nine months and I'm starting to think that I'll never find a job again and should probaly go back to school.

by the way...I have an xbox console with two controllers and 40 something games for sale. Shoot me a PM if any of you are interested.

I also have more consoles:
Nintendo Gamecube
Nintendo 64
Sega Genesis
an old NES
Super Nintendo
PLaystation 2

and with each console you buy I'll toss in some games.

I'm cheaper than Vintage Stock.

Coach
05-22-2009, 03:50 AM
Okay, nut. What the hell do you exactly do? Inquiring minds wants to know....

kstater
05-22-2009, 04:02 AM
This seems like the best thread for this. I figured out why I hadn't eaten at taco bell in almost 10 years. Went there yesterday, ordered a taco salad. Figured it's tough to fuck up a taco salad. Shell, lettuce, meat and cheese. Well, I got about two bites in, the shell literally tasted like sweat, the thing had rice in it, the lettuce was soft. Threw it away after 2 bites. Figure I won't go back for another 10 years.

Pioli Zombie
05-22-2009, 04:17 AM
Have sex with the cleaning woman.
Posted via Mobile Device

big nasty kcnut
05-22-2009, 06:58 AM
It went ok just trying to stay low.
Posted via Mobile Device

Coach
05-22-2009, 07:03 AM
Okay, it sounds like you did something really bad that attracted attention.

Stewie
05-22-2009, 07:48 AM
This seems like the best thread for this. I figured out why I hadn't eaten at taco bell in almost 10 years. Went there yesterday, ordered a taco salad. Figured it's tough to **** up a taco salad. Shell, lettuce, meat and cheese. Well, I got about two bites in, the shell literally tasted like sweat, the thing had rice in it, the lettuce was soft. Threw it away after 2 bites. Figure I won't go back for another 10 years.

Rice? WTF? Does Taco Bell sell anything that contains rice? I haven't eaten there in a long time.

kstater
05-22-2009, 08:07 AM
Rice? WTF? Does Taco Bell sell anything that contains rice? I haven't eaten there in a long time.
I think the question is do they sell anything without rice.
I hadn't eaten there in a while. I got the salad specifically because I didn't think it would have rice in it.

Fish
05-22-2009, 08:30 AM
Piss on Taco Bell and their illogical methods; cheese DOES belong on the bottom because it gets nice and melty.

When the cheese gets all nice and melty on the bottom, the shell falls apart and the taco goes to shit. You don't put the cheese on the bottom. It belongs on the top, where it can still get melty and actually hold the rest of the taco contents inside. Think man.....

Raised On Riots
05-22-2009, 09:37 AM
When the cheese gets all nice and melty on the bottom, the shell falls apart and the taco goes to shit. You don't put the cheese on the bottom. It belongs on the top, where it can still get melty and actually hold the rest of the taco contents inside. Think man.....

Well are you gonna' eat the motherfucker, or take it around the block for a walk to do it's business?!

If you're shells are falling apart, you're using some weak-assed shells.:D

keg in kc
05-22-2009, 09:39 AM
Did the rice move?

Cannibal
05-22-2009, 09:40 AM
I'm a little nervous. I suck bad these people don't know me. I hope i do well in this.
Posted via Mobile Device

Good luck Nut. I hope you excel.

Dartgod
05-22-2009, 10:04 AM
Beat the shit out of the first employee that back talks, stuff the hand of the first slacker into the fry grease the first day.....then no one will eff with your career at Taco villa.

hey nut...mail me a case of these bad-boys. they're the only thing i can eat from tb that doesn't give me the bloody shits.
nails!
sec

This seems like the best thread for this. I figured out why I hadn't eaten at taco bell in almost 10 years. Went there yesterday, ordered a taco salad. Figured it's tough to **** up a taco salad. Shell, lettuce, meat and cheese. Well, I got about two bites in, the shell literally tasted like sweat, the thing had rice in it, the lettuce was soft. Threw it away after 2 bites. Figure I won't go back for another 10 years.
I think Nut works at Taco Bueno, not Taco Bell.

Fish
05-22-2009, 10:06 AM
Well are you gonna' eat the mother****er, or take it around the block for a walk to do it's business?!

If you're shells are falling apart, you're using some weak-assed shells.:D

Well yeah... if you're some weak ass carnivore eating a single taco that might work. But what about those long sit down colon cleansing sessions when you're lookin at 15 tacos or so? Are you gonna down them all before the shells get soggy? Not if they're gettin soggy from melted cheese you're not.... What if you're takin a few with you to the golf course? You layer it right, it'll last a few hours and still be crunchy when you pull it out on the 13th hole. You go all willy nilly putting cheese down first, and you're looking at a cheesy messy golf bag and broken tacos. Nobody wants that....

Raised On Riots
05-22-2009, 10:16 AM
Well yeah... if you're some weak ass carnivore eating a single taco that might work. But what about those long sit down colon cleansing sessions when you're lookin at 15 tacos or so? Are you gonna down them all before the shells get soggy? Not if they're gettin soggy from melted cheese you're not.... What if you're takin a few with you to the golf course? You layer it right, it'll last a few hours and still be crunchy when you pull it out on the 13th hole. You go all willy nilly putting cheese down first, and you're looking at a cheesy messy golf bag and broken tacos. Nobody wants that....


For the sit down, you mash the fuckers up like taco salad, cover that shit in salsa, sour cream, and guac, and commence to eating with gusto.

No Taco Bell taco is going to stay firm for over an hour.

Dartgod
05-22-2009, 10:21 AM
No Taco Bell taco is going to in your gut for over an hour.
FYP...

seclark
05-22-2009, 10:24 AM
I think Nut works at Taco Bueno, not Taco Bell.

my bad...forget my request, nut.
sec

Simply Red
05-22-2009, 10:27 AM
just remember, Nut, while building a soft taco supreme, always use a spatula and remember to put the scrm on FIRST, and then the other ingredients. ;)

Raised On Riots
05-22-2009, 10:34 AM
FYP...

:D Make a ruuuuuuuuuuuuun for the toilet!
(old Taco Bell jingle)

Demonpenz
05-22-2009, 11:05 AM
i ate taco bueno one time and the cup ripped in my lancer and i didn't notice it. it made a small lake of cola in my cup holder :o) sucks

bluehawkdoc
05-22-2009, 11:49 AM
It went ok just trying to stay low.
Posted via Mobile Device

That's right. Do as little as possible but act like you know what the f**k is going on. The less you do, the less they will expect. Then, when the store tailspins, you can blame your boss and take his job and rule that mother.

kc rush
05-22-2009, 01:01 PM
i ate taco bueno one time and the cup ripped in my lancer and i didn't notice it. it made a small lake of cola in my cup holder :o) sucks

I think your wolf shirt scared it. This is the equivalent of the cup pissing itself.

Raised On Riots
05-22-2009, 01:15 PM
I think your wolf shirt scared it. This is the equivalent of the cup pissing itself.

LMAO

CoMoChief
05-22-2009, 02:49 PM
12000 posts......do you have a life?

Soon enough you shall get there young Jedi

big nasty kcnut
05-22-2009, 02:59 PM
Well i'm training. I told my boss that i'm going to stay low and observe. She said she like that i'm a problem solver.
Posted via Mobile Device

burt
05-22-2009, 03:45 PM
I have faith in ya Nut!

Buck
07-13-2009, 01:57 PM
Hows it going Nut?

In other news I just went to the drive thru in Taco Bell w/ a new coworker. He ordered a Volcano Burrito, a chicken burrito and a drink, and I ordered a Potato Burrito combo (comes w/ Supreme Taco) and a drink.

The lady gives us the food, he checks the bag to make sure we got everything then we drive back to work.

Well we get back and my Burrito is not in there.

FUCK.

So I am eating one freaking Taco for lunch.

Mr. Flopnuts
07-13-2009, 02:02 PM
Hows it going Nut?

In other news I just went to the drive thru in Taco Bell w/ a new coworker. He ordered a Volcano Burrito, a chicken burrito and a drink, and I ordered a Potato Burrito combo (comes w/ Supreme Taco) and a drink.

The lady gives us the food, he checks the bag to make sure we got everything then we drive back to work.

Well we get back and my Burrito is not in there.

FUCK.

So I am eating one freaking Taco for lunch.

It'll do you some good fatass.

DeezNutz
07-13-2009, 02:02 PM
It'll do you some good fatass.

She clearly called an audible.

Like the time the bartender cut me off. He heard me, but thought it best otherwise.

Buck
07-13-2009, 02:03 PM
It'll do you some good fatass.

Says the man who weighs 50+ more lbs than me.

Boom, Roasted.

Skip Towne
07-13-2009, 02:09 PM
How is that job doing for you "Nut?

DeezNutz
07-13-2009, 02:10 PM
Says the man who weighs 50+ more lbs than me.

Boom, Roasted.

Still hungry?

Buck
07-13-2009, 02:11 PM
Still hungry?

YES

4321nlmPBJ:popcorn:

Mr. Flopnuts
07-13-2009, 02:33 PM
Says the man who weighs 50+ more lbs than me.

Boom, Roasted.

Fuck dude. I'm always hungry.

Otter
07-13-2009, 02:36 PM
"I am Big Nasty KC Nut your new ****ing manager! From now on you will speak only when spoken to! The first and last words out of your filthy taco slopping hands will be "Yes Sir, Nasty KC Nut, Sir!".

"I do not look down on cashiers, fryers, drive in attendants or food handlers. To me you are all equally worthless."

*kc nut walks in shoulders first to the guy grilling meat*

"What's your name scum bad?".
"Sir Nasty Kc Nut Sir, Alfred Sir Nasty Kc Nut Sir".
"Holy SHit! Alfred! Aren't you supposed to be helping ****ing Batman Alfred!"
"Sir Nasty Kc nut Sir, I don't know Batman Sir Nasty Kc Nut Sir"
"Well then you must not be the joker! The Joker would know Batman!"
"ARE YOU THE ****ING PENGUIN!?!?!"
"Sir?"
"I'm asking the ****ing questions here! Can I be in charge for a little while?"
"yes sir"
"From now on you're the ****ing Penguin! I'll be ****ing watching you!"

JD10367
07-13-2009, 02:40 PM
Hows it going Nut?

In other news I just went to the drive thru in Taco Bell w/ a new coworker. He ordered a Volcano Burrito, a chicken burrito and a drink, and I ordered a Potato Burrito combo (comes w/ Supreme Taco) and a drink.

The lady gives us the food, he checks the bag to make sure we got everything then we drive back to work.

Well we get back and my Burrito is not in there.

****.

So I am eating one freaking Taco for lunch.

I no longer use the drive-thru at fast-food places, for a few reasons:

1.) They always f**k up your order. If you order it in person, you can see what's being put into the bag and check it right there before walking out.

2.) The line is always shorter inside because of the lazy fatasses in America. You'll find 8 cars at the drive-thru, but one person in line inside.

3.) I need the exercise.

Dunit35
07-13-2009, 02:53 PM
I no longer use the drive-thru at fast-food places, for a few reasons:

1.) They always f**k up your order. If you order it in person, you can see what's being put into the bag and check it right there before walking out.

2.) The line is always shorter inside because of the lazy fatasses in America. You'll find 8 cars at the drive-thru, but one person in line inside.

3.) I need the exercise.

Right on. It always cracks me up when we have 10 cars in the drive thru and one person inside. A person will get their food a lot faster if they'd get out of their car.

Halfcan
07-13-2009, 03:04 PM
Drink a fifth of jack before work-that will calm your nerves and let you be yourself.