View Full Version : Legal US District Judge Quotes Carl Spackler in Legal Decision

05-22-2009, 10:47 AM
Perhaps the first time this great legal mind of Bushwood Country Club fame has been quoted in the US District Court.

Judge cites legal eagle Carl Spackler to critique Giuliani claim
By Jay Busbee

With enough shoehorned golf metaphors to make even Rick Reilly gag, a U.S. District Judge in Raleigh, N.C. has sharply criticized whiner par excellence Andrew Giuliani's claims that he was unfairly booted off Duke's golf team in 2009.

Giuliani, son of former New York mayor/presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani, claimed that Duke's golf coach manufactured a rationale for kicking him off the team. Charges, according to an AP report of Duke's response, included Giuliani "throwing an apple in the face of another player, breaking a golf club during a tournament, injuring a teammate and becoming verbally abusive with a coach." Giuliani also apparently didn't think the fact that he ranked 12th of 14 Blue Devil golfers in the 2007-08 season should have an impact on his future with the team. Yes, because standards of behavior and performance are for the little people.

Anyway, the judge in the case apparently disagreed with Giuliani's complaint, and did so in a manner both artful and kind of ridiculous. In reference to Giuliani trying to change arguments, U.S. Magistrate Judge Wallace Dixon compared it to "trying to change clubs after hitting the golf ball." And a reference to "good faith" provisions of the law were dismissed in the following fashion: "Plaintiff attempts to take a mulligan with this argument; however, this shot also lands in the drink." And so on, and so on.

Dixon closed his ruling with a bravura performance: what must be the first-ever reference to Caddyshack's Carl Spackler in a legal proceeding. Referring to Giuliani's belief that he is entitled to damages because of an implied contract, Dixon wrote that the claim "brings to mind Carl Spackler's analysis from the movie 'Caddyshack' (Orion Pictures 1980): 'He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2-iron, I think." In other words, get real, kid.

The case now moves to a higher judge, but if Dixon's findings are any indication, it's going to be a Duke slam-dunk, only without all the usual flopping and griping to the refs afterward. (Sorry, I know I was supposed to use a golf metaphor there. My bad.)


05-22-2009, 11:19 AM
Could have used better ones:

"Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga". I would love to see this phrase in the annuals of US Districk Court.

Or he could of used Judge Smails quote "I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them. "

Or after his decision is read the judge should have walked up to Andrew and tussled his hair and said "How about a Fresca?"