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View Full Version : Media Crappy Clown Cars You Have Owned


Comanche
05-26-2009, 08:34 AM
I regret to say I once purchased a Chevy Citation.

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i188/dburdyshaw/Vehicles%202/ChevroletCitation.jpg

My brother once owned a Ford Pinto.

http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t195/4_SELL_OR_TRADE_PAGE/pintoside.jpg

Both cars were crap. The pictures are samples and are not the actual cars we had. I certainly do not look forward to the Obama administration's agenda to downsize America's automobile fleet. During his political campaigns, Obama promised to locate alternative fuel sources. Instead, Obama is imposing higher fuel efficiency standards that will further burden a stressed automotive industry and will result in tiny cars.

HonestChieffan
05-26-2009, 08:36 AM
Chevy Vega...alumininum block and all. Paint peeled off inside of a year and the 4 speed linkage had to be adjusted every week or two.

Comanche
05-26-2009, 08:52 AM
Chevy Vega...alumininum block and all. Paint peeled off inside of a year and the 4 speed linkage had to be adjusted every week or two.

Wow! Props to you for stepping up and acknowledging you owned a Vega! :clap:

HC_Chief
05-26-2009, 08:54 AM
Pinto station wagon. Powder effing blue! I used to power brake the hell outta that POS; trying to kill it.

Plymouth Duster. The front wheels used to lean dangerously inwards on a turn. It was also a bit of a rust bucket. Still, it was my first car... and free too. At 15, you really don't care what it is, as long as you have a car!

Ford LTD. It was like driving a yacht. Effing thing could run over a school bus and you'd maybe feel a slight shimmie. Smooth driving mofo but at 30 feet long, a bit much.

1969 Volvo station wagon; christened the "Hate Tank". It was missing third gear. I STG, the gear just vanished one day. No grinding, no nothing; it was just a dead spot in the linkage. Whatever; loved that car all the same. I would still be driving it today if I hadn't cracked the front axle in a crash.
The Volvo was odd in several ways: one, the stereo was on the passenger side, two, the guages were all horizontal bars, and the spring was bad on the speedometer, so that when I hit a bump the guage would bounce to the top, then bottom, then top, then eventually spring back to the correct speed, and three, was missing third gear. The craziest thing was the car could carry about a dozen people, but it got tremendous mileage, which is great for a poor teenager! ;)

HC_Chief
05-26-2009, 08:56 AM
Wow! Props to you for stepping up and acknowledging you owned a Vega! :clap:

Vegas are sleepers. Seriously, I knew a kid who put a 400 + tranny in one. Looked like a joke but the f*cker would pull the front tires off the ground, and shred in the .25 mile.

HonestChieffan
05-26-2009, 08:56 AM
Wow! Props to you for stepping up and acknowledging you owned a Vega! :clap:

Not just a Vega...a Vega GT!

Radar Chief
05-26-2009, 09:09 AM
Vegas are sleepers. Seriously, I knew a kid who put a 400 + tranny in one. Looked like a joke but the f*cker would pull the front tires off the ground, and shred in the .25 mile.

Oh yea, I know a local drag racer that put a fuel injected 454 BBC in one.
To fit the motor he had to cut the firewall and put it in the front seat floor pans. The drivers and passenger seats where mounted in the back seat floor pans. The rear seat had been removed along with the rear inner fenders, trunk, yada yada, so he could fit a narrowed Dana 60 with drag slicks and four-link suspension.
It would tickle the back bumper launching and it seems he was getting mid to high 4’s in the 1/8th.

HonestChieffan
05-26-2009, 09:12 AM
The only thing to rust out faster than a Vega was a 68 road runner.

Comanche
05-26-2009, 09:25 AM
Not just a Vega...a Vega GT!

Out next door neighbor was kind of a nerdy sort of guy but a good fellow nevertheless. He used to wear racing gloves while driving his vega! ROFL

HonestChieffan
05-26-2009, 09:28 AM
Out next door neighbor was kind of a nerdy sort of guy but a good fellow nevertheless. He used to wear racing gloves while driving his vega! ROFL

Like a friend of mine who lived in Overland Park who always wore a cowboy hat when he drove his pickup...

Just aint right.

Comanche
05-26-2009, 09:28 AM
Vegas are sleepers. Seriously, I knew a kid who put a 400 + tranny in one. Looked like a joke but the f*cker would pull the front tires off the ground, and shred in the .25 mile.

He put a 400 pound tranny in the front seat?!!! Hell, no wonder the front end came off the ground!
http://i351.photobucket.com/albums/q447/jeffedwardson/ugly-man-transvestite-fat-bitch-men.jpg

(joke :D)

patteeu
05-26-2009, 09:30 AM
My dad had a no frills Ford Fiesta (no AC, no power anything, only an AM radio) and at one point we were driving it with worn out shock absorbers. I can remember riding home one night from a junior high event at another school and some people from my school drove by and started bouncing up and down in their seats making fun of the way our car was bouncing down the road. The car was so light that I could stand behind it and dribble the rear end like a basketball. My friends and I were able to move the rear end to the side by bouncing it and pushing during the upswing. It was a real clown car.

Comanche
05-26-2009, 09:34 AM
Pinto station wagon. Powder effing blue!

My brother's Pinto started out navy blue but ended up with huge parts of it being "powder blue" after the paint faded. He used to call his car the "Pintara" to make it sound a little more classy. The floor boards under the driver's feet rusted out so you could watch the road go by while you were driving!

Comanche
05-26-2009, 09:36 AM
Like a friend of mine who lived in Overland Park who always wore a cowboy hat when he drove his pickup...

Just aint right.

All hat and no cattle?

HonestChieffan
05-26-2009, 09:39 AM
All hat and no cattle?

hat...and penny loafers. He was from JoCo, so penny loafers or tassel loafers are pretty much required.

Comanche
05-26-2009, 09:43 AM
My dad had a no frills Ford Fiesta (no AC, no power anything, only an AM radio) and at one point we were driving it with worn out shock absorbers. I can remember riding home one night from a junior high event at another school and some people from my school drove by and started bouncing up and down in their seats making fun of the way our car was bouncing down the road. The car was so light that I could stand behind it and dribble the rear end like a basketball. My friends and I were able to move the rear end to the side by bouncing it and pushing during the upswing. It was a real clown car.

Great story. My dad had a early American small car, a Buick "Special". It leaked water during heavy rains and held the water on the passengers side floor. Passengers had to straddle a huge pool of water on the floor. Also, it had a cracked block, patched with glass, when he bought it. The patch didn't hold very long, of course. The pics below are just samples and not my dad's actual cars.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d154/beerchamp/PhotoImpression4.jpg

In fairness, my Dad also had a Mercury Comet that was hell on wheels for the size engine it had in it. It was boxy shaped and certainly no "babe" magnet but it was fun to drive. The block eventually cracked on it, however.

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k161/jdandd/ab64202a.jpg

Radar Chief
05-26-2009, 09:43 AM
He put a 400 pound tranny in the front seat?!!! Hell, no wonder the front end came off the ground! Oh, you meant a TRANSMISSION! (joke :D)

Actually he’s talking about a 400 Small Block Chevy. It shares many of the same components with the ubiquitous 350 SBC but has a longer stroke (3.75” vs. 3.48”) and bigger bore (4.125” vs. 4.00”) and more than likely came with a TH (Turbo Hydromatic) 350 automatic transmission.

Baby Lee
05-26-2009, 09:47 AM
My gramps', now my dad's, Citation was a hoot to drive. Gramps bought it as a 'ready to retire, so buy one last no frills drive to work car before the salad days' car. AM radio, no AC, crank windows, the works. But it had an Iron Duke 4 cylinder that wasn't a powerhouse, but took abuse like Tina Turner. Plus it was a stick. I long daydreamed of turning it into a 'merkin ricer, inspired by my buddy with a Omni he tweaked into the 11s in the 1/4 mile. But then I settled into my Grand Prix and it's been wedded bliss ever since.
Crappiest car I owned was a still halfway decent Escort station wagon. Drove it until the engine died, left it on the side of the road and told the dealership where to pick it up in trade in.

Comanche
05-26-2009, 09:56 AM
My gramps', now my dad's, Citation was a hoot to drive. AM radio, no AC, crank windows, the works. But it had an Iron Duke 4 cylinder that wasn't a powerhouse, but took abuse like Tina Turner. Plus it was a stick.

The hatchbacks did come in handy when going to the lumberyard! If I recall correctly, the Citation's had the carbs with the wire adjustments instead of screws? Took guesswork, a steady hand, lots of patience and a good ear to come close to an adequate tune up. I like electric windows but they breakdown easily and are expensive to repair. The old cranks were more reliable.

Radar Chief
05-26-2009, 10:00 AM
I long daydreamed of turning it into a 'merkin ricer, inspired by my buddy with a Omni he tweaked into the 11s in the 1/4 mile.

:eek: How the hell did he do that? Mount a solid fuel rocket to the roof or something?

Baby Lee
05-26-2009, 10:05 AM
:eek: How the hell did he do that? Mount a solid fuel rocket to the roof or something?

Twin Turbo and NO2. Had polyurethane everywhere, massive Brembo brakes, a bank's worth of handling upgrades. That was one badass little car, remind you of a racing Mini Cooper. I was with him when he took it over 150.

Baby Lee
05-26-2009, 10:09 AM
The hatchbacks did come in handy when going to the lumberyard! If I recall correctly, the Citation's had the carbs with the wire adjustments instead of screws? Took guesswork, a steady hand, lots of patience and a good ear to come close to an adequate tune up. I like electric windows but they breakdown easily and are expensive to repair. The old cranks were more reliable.

Oh, that was another nice thing about gramps' citation, it is a sedan. [like his, not his, below]

http://aveo.com.ua/kb_upload/Image/chevrolet_history/chevrolet-citation.jpg

Cannibal
05-26-2009, 10:21 AM
My mom owned an AMC Hornet sedan. It had a straight 6 that took a beating like no other engine I've ever seen. Stock it could get a second gear scratch with a automatic transmission with no modifications.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3264/2679897074_10b99b447a.jpg?v=0

HemiEd
05-26-2009, 11:03 AM
When I got out of the Navy, my second car options were limited. (had a brand new 72 Chevelle the Mrs. drove to work)

My driver was a 62 Corvair, 4 speed! In the winter I pulled the thottle cable off of my lawn mower, to use as a choke cable on the Corvair. (it was way too short, so I had to reach back to use it) Then in the summer, the lawn mower could have it back, since the Corvair didn't need to be choked.:D

jAZ
05-26-2009, 11:46 AM
Worst car:

'74 Ford Mustang

http://www.shnack.com/history/pics/1974FordMustang_large.jpg

Best car:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/Geo-Prizm-hatchback-2.jpg

Comanche
05-26-2009, 02:02 PM
Worst car:

'74 Ford Mustang

http://www.shnack.com/history/pics/1974FordMustang_large.jpg

Best car:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/Geo-Prizm-hatchback-2.jpg

The Mustang was the "worst"? Why? I would have thought that was a decent ride?

HonestChieffan
05-26-2009, 02:05 PM
Mustang 2 has a great front end.

The rest...not so much

Brock
05-26-2009, 02:06 PM
The Mustang was the "worst"? Why? I would have thought that was a decent ride?

It was a pinto with different sheet metal. You could get it with a V8, however.

Comanche
05-26-2009, 02:12 PM
It was a pinto with different sheet metal. You could get it with a V8, however.

'Nuff said!

Comanche
05-26-2009, 03:23 PM
When I got out of the Navy, my second car options were limited. (had a brand new 72 Chevelle the Mrs. drove to work)

My driver was a 62 Corvair, 4 speed! In the winter I pulled the thottle cable off of my lawn mower, to use as a choke cable on the Corvair. (it was way too short, so I had to reach back to use it) Then in the summer, the lawn mower could have it back, since the Corvair didn't need to be choked.:D

Your 62 Corvair helped make Ralph Nader famous!

http://i494.photobucket.com/albums/rr305/quickfeet9/ralph-nader-1.jpg

Unfortunately for the Corvair, 1965 was the year in which Ralph Nader published his book Unsafe At Any Speed. In it he savaged the Corvair for alleged unsafe handling due to the rear swing axles fitted to the 1960-64 models. Ironically, by the time the book appeared, Chevrolet had replaced the swing axles with a fully articulated rear suspension. The damage was done, however, and the Corvair went into a steep sales decline; it was discontinued in 1969.

HonestChieffan
05-26-2009, 03:29 PM
My brother had a Ford Fiesta. I bale wired the passenger door on when I borroed it and the door fell off the hinges. Takes a good car to be able to fix with bale wire.

mlyonsd
05-26-2009, 03:39 PM
I regret to say I once purchased a Chevy Citation.

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i188/dburdyshaw/Vehicles%202/ChevroletCitation.jpg

My brother once owned a Ford Pinto.

http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t195/4_SELL_OR_TRADE_PAGE/pintoside.jpg

Both cars were crap. The pictures are samples and are not the actual cars we had. I certainly do not look forward to the Obama administration's agenda to downsize America's automobile fleet. During his political campaigns, Obama promised to locate alternative fuel sources. Instead, Obama is imposing higher fuel efficiency standards that will further burden a stressed automotive industry and will result in tiny cars.

Thanks for clarifying....I wasn't sure if that was your front yard or not.

Whoarethechefs
05-26-2009, 03:44 PM
Worst car ever - I bought it just for a Vegas road trip.... It died right in the middle of Hoover dam....Damn.

Whenever I see one of these on the road , I have this mental image of myself doing a Kirk impersonation, KHHHHHAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!! but my version would be AAAAAPOLLLLLLOOOOOOO!!!!!

Comanche
05-26-2009, 04:20 PM
My brother had a Ford Fiesta. I bale wired the passenger door on when I borroed it and the door fell off the hinges. Takes a good car to be able to fix with bale wire.

Was it this one? :D

http://www.speedsportlife.com/photopost/data/1087/thumbs/rusty.JPG

HonestChieffan
05-26-2009, 04:42 PM
No, his wouldnt have made it to a coast.

jAZ
05-26-2009, 05:34 PM
I had a Dodge Dart Swinger between the two above. It was a boat, that quite literally sailed when it got north of 65 MPH. And if you had to swerve to avoid something in traffic, it's was unreal how hard it was to keep control of. Good, reliable car. But pretty dangrous if you were anywhere that wasn't straight as an arrow.

I much prefer the current generation of smaller more nimble cars.

http://www.ourmachine.com/dart/pict/73swing9.jpg

mlyonsd
05-26-2009, 06:23 PM
I had a Dodge Dart Swinger between the two above. It was a boat, that quite literally sailed when it got north of 65 MPH. And if you had to swerve to avoid something in traffic, it's was unreal how hard it was to keep control of. Good, reliable car. But pretty dangrous if you were anywhere that wasn't straight as an arrow.

I much prefer the current generation of smaller more nimble cars.

http://www.ourmachine.com/dart/pict/73swing9.jpg

I'm guessing it constantly sailed to the left? Ba-da-ding!

Comanche
05-27-2009, 08:21 AM
I had a Swinger

Somehow, I'm not surprised. ;)

Comanche
05-27-2009, 08:23 AM
I'm guessing it constantly sailed to the left? Ba-da-ding!

LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

gblowfish
05-27-2009, 09:12 AM
When I was in grade school in the mid 1960s my dad has a Nash Metropolitan. He only kept it for about a year, he was afraid he'd be in a wreck and get killed. It truly IS a clown car. The one he had looked just like this one:

Dave Lane
05-27-2009, 09:38 AM
hat...and penny loafers. He was from JoCo, so penny loafers or tassel loafers are pretty much required.

Why would the idiot wear a cowboy hat? To advertise his ignorance?

HonestChieffan
05-27-2009, 10:53 AM
Why would the idiot wear a cowboy hat? To advertise his ignorance?

Image i guess. I dunno. I worried more about the ones in OP who never set fooot outdoors except in pressed khakis and loafers, a shirt with a hose on it and a cap that had some wine brand on it.

HemiEd
05-27-2009, 01:13 PM
Your 62 Corvair helped make Ralph Nader famous!

http://i494.photobucket.com/albums/rr305/quickfeet9/ralph-nader-1.jpg

Unfortunately for the Corvair, 1965 was the year in which Ralph Nader published his book Unsafe At Any Speed. In it he savaged the Corvair for alleged unsafe handling due to the rear swing axles fitted to the 1960-64 models. Ironically, by the time the book appeared, Chevrolet had replaced the swing axles with a fully articulated rear suspension. The damage was done, however, and the Corvair went into a steep sales decline; it was discontinued in 1969.
Yeah, I remember that, it was a constant tirade of his, for years. He just couldn't get his mind around a rear engined car. I am surprised front wheel drive didn't send him jumping off a bridge somewhere. The Corvair was nothing more than GMs copy of the VW bug, the only real successful foreign import at the time.

HemiEd
05-27-2009, 01:15 PM
I had a Dodge Dart Swinger between the two above. It was a boat, that quite literally sailed when it got north of 65 MPH. And if you had to swerve to avoid something in traffic, it's was unreal how hard it was to keep control of. Good, reliable car. But pretty dangrous if you were anywhere that wasn't straight as an arrow.

I much prefer the current generation of smaller more nimble cars.



Replacing shock absorbers every 20k is a good idea.

Skip Towne
05-27-2009, 01:35 PM
Replacing shock absorbers every 20k is a good idea.

Who replaces shock absorbers?

MOhillbilly
05-27-2009, 02:06 PM
84 renault alliance big wet sloppy pos. 81 honda civic great car but really small.

Radar Chief
05-27-2009, 02:12 PM
Who replaces shock absorbers?

Really, what a POS. I’ll bet you never change shocks on a Jap car.

BigMeatballDave
05-27-2009, 02:16 PM
I've had a Citation and a Gremlin.

Donger
05-27-2009, 02:50 PM
I got the throw-aways from my older brothers, which included:

Suzuki Samurai
Karman Ghia
Yugo
VW Thing

HemiEd
05-27-2009, 03:15 PM
Who replaces shock absorbers?

Anyone that cares about ride quality and safety. Especially on a torsion bar car like the one he is referring to.

Most people ride around on worn out shit, and wonder why the car handles so poorly, their tires and front end wear out prematurly.

Hardly anyone ever pays attention to McPherson strut wear that I have noticed.

HemiEd
05-27-2009, 03:18 PM
I got the throw-aways from my older brothers, which included:

Suzuki Samurai
Karman Ghia
Yugo
VW Thing
That is a wierd list, two were totally throw away. You really had a Yugo? ROFL

I have always thought Karman Ghias were cool. Friend of mine put a small block Chevy in one, was running high 9s.

Radar Chief
05-27-2009, 03:25 PM
That is a wierd list, two were totally throw away. You really had a Yugo? ROFL

I have always thought Karman Ghias were cool. Friend of mine put a small block Chevy in one, was running high 9s.

Yea, Karman Ghias were a cool rig.
That Sami has a pretty big following now also.

HemiEd
05-28-2009, 11:41 AM
Yea, Karman Ghias were a cool rig.
That Sami has a pretty big following now also.

Really? I had it in the throw away catagory.

Radar Chief
05-28-2009, 11:47 AM
Really? I had it in the throw away catagory.

Oh yea, but any 4X4 that small that can be tagged for the street will have a following. You know what’s happened to Jeep CJ’s with their resale price? That’s what’s happening with Sami’s now. There are still some cheap ones to be found but they’re being gobbled up fast.

Comanche
05-30-2009, 08:21 AM
My dad also once owned an "Opel". While I was driving it one day, the BACK SEAT STARTED SMOKING like it was going to catch fire. There was enough smoke to fill the entire interior of the car! For some reason, the floor boards of the car heated up enough to cause the seat to start smoldering. The seats must have been covered with a fire resistant material since they never actually caught fire.

Man, I DO NOT want to go back to those little crappy cars!

http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss276/gvygvy/aw03-2001GT1.jpg

Comanche
05-30-2009, 08:32 AM
When I was in grade school in the mid 1960s my dad has a Nash Metropolitan. He only kept it for about a year, he was afraid he'd be in a wreck and get killed. It truly IS a clown car. The one he had looked just like this one:

I actually knew a guy who WAS killed in one of those cars. He was a huge overweight guy who filled the interior of the car. He was one of our neighbors and people thought it was a big joke that a guy so big would have such a small car. The guy must have weighed somewhere around 350-400 lbs or more. The side of the car actually dipped when he crawled into the drivers seat. While he was in the north bound lane crossing an east/west intersection, he was hit broadside by another car.