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Rain Man
05-26-2009, 10:44 PM
Hypothetical: as you're working away one day, a memo from the main office comes around, causing a great deal of excitement.

The memo says that employees with perfect attendance during the past year will enter a drawing (or if you live in England, a drawring) for a great prize. The lucky winner will draw their current pay, with an annual cost of living adjustment, for the rest of their lives in an immediate early retirement.

Well, you like those odds, and so you decide that you're not going to miss any more work. In February, you show up with a bad cold, sneezing on others with good attendance. In April, you show up despite acute appendicitis that requires the receptionist to operate on you with her staple remover, and you alertly don't let them take the appendix to the dumpster since that would technically lower you to 99.99% attendance. In July, you keep your perfect attendance despite getting your hand caught in one of those industrial deli meat slicers. Twice. Because man oh man, that baloney was to good to wait for. In August, you show up despite the rabies scare after being bitten by a petulant hooker. And in December, you show up despite being in a neck brace after an encounter with a drunken mall Santa who was once a backup guard for the Atlanta Falcons.

On December 31st, they throw all the names of perfect attendees into a bucket, and have the local Miss High-Fructose Corn Syrup pageant winner pull out the winner.

It's Debbie Edmondson!

Okay, that's not you, but after a brief search it turns out that Debbie is out sick today, so they draw again.

Holy cow! They drew your name!

So you sign your retirement papers, go home, and look at your first free paycheck. Ahhh, life is good.

How would you fill your free time from here on out?

Buehler445
05-26-2009, 10:54 PM
Probably go to the doctor. That is some scary shit.

JOhn
05-26-2009, 10:56 PM
Find cleaner hookers

Spott
05-26-2009, 10:59 PM
Find hookers that can clean.

TrebMaxx
05-26-2009, 11:05 PM
Drink more than 22+ beers a week.


Might not be a good thing.

Demonpenz
05-26-2009, 11:09 PM
Swim, play guitar, fish, write comedy, all the shit that I can only squeeze into a couple of hours that I am not completely stressed, tired, or in don't give a fuck mode because the real world bites the big one

Skip Towne
05-26-2009, 11:10 PM
That basically happened to me. I'm drawing my exe's SS. Bless her for being dead. I appreciate it.

Baconeater
05-26-2009, 11:15 PM
I'd not do shit.

DA_T_84
05-26-2009, 11:30 PM
I would pick up drawring.

Kyle DeLexus
05-26-2009, 11:46 PM
I'd tell you what I'd do man......2 chicks at the same time, man.

Phobia
05-26-2009, 11:51 PM
I'd find another job or open another business. I'd definitely golf a bit more often and take a few more vacations but I'll work until the day I die. There's no doubt in my mind.

cdcox
05-27-2009, 12:04 AM
This would be awesome. I'd ...

1. Continue to do some research, but only what I wanted to do.

2. Perfect nfl-forecast.com.

3. Cook something really good 3 times a week.

4. Finish remodeling my house... Then start a small business flipping houses. Yeah, the market is all wrong, but if I'm doing most of the labor myself, I'll still get a small hourly wage doing something I enjoy. It's not like I need the business to succeed to eat. I'd also try to find a buddy that was doing the same, since many jobs go better with an extra set of hands. Build up to a dream house in a great location.

5. Learn to be a really good cabinet/furniture maker.

6. Follow college football. It's interesting enough, just not enough time.

7. Follow college basketball.

8. Learn the guitar.

9. Get a dog.

10. Walk the entire Appalachian Trail.

11. Drink coffee outside every morning that the weather is nice.

12. Travel. I could probably do one or two really cool trips per year.

13. Take up the bicycle again.

14. Play chess.

15. Start up home brewing again.

This would be a good start.

Psyko Tek
05-27-2009, 12:17 AM
get a different motorcycle for every day of the week and pick up the hotbitches!!!

and move to a neighborhood where the chicks get nekked 3 or 4 times a week

Chiefs_Mike_Topeka
05-27-2009, 01:42 AM
I'd find another job or open another business. I'd definitely golf a bit more often and take a few more vacations but I'll work until the day I die. There's no doubt in my mind.



Your not one of those full of shit people who say they would work even if they hit the Powerball are you?

Ebolapox
05-27-2009, 02:43 AM
sadly enough, I'd likely keep working. I'm a bit of a workaholic--I've been busting my ass for a while now, and if I had free time, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

what I'd LIKE to do:

1) read more. I love reading, and I'm so far behind my 'reading list' it's laughable.

2) catch up on all of the shows I've missed over the last umpteen years due to working said ass off.

3) two chicks at the same time. hell, a man can dream, can't he?

4) take up writing as a diversion.

5) travel. love traveling, but don't have the time for it now.

6) maybe a part time job doing something easy enough that I can fit said schedule of things into.

7) sleep in every morning and take a nap every afternoon. I've missed so much sleep the last few years that I'll never catch up without a decent amount of effort.

Ebolapox
05-27-2009, 02:47 AM
Your not one of those full of shit people who say they would work even if they hit the Powerball are you?

eh, I can understand the sentiment--it seems ludicrous that somebody would work even if insanely rich. but if one has worked long enough, it almost becomes a habit having something to occupy one's time. would I travel a lot more and have more leisurely activities? yeah. but I can't imagine not having at LEAST a part-time job, even if it was running my own business. I have to be busy and occupied for some dumb reason.

JuicesFlowing
05-27-2009, 05:37 AM
I'd tell you what I'd do man......2 chicks at the same time, man.

You'll need a million dollars for that.

Hog Farmer
05-27-2009, 06:37 AM
I'd find a new breed of animals to masturbate.

Maybe work at a zoo and see how many species I could do before I got fired.