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View Full Version : Poop Son-Of-A-F***ing-Bitch


Kerberos
06-10-2009, 11:26 PM
You know how they say when life hands you lemons you are supposed to make lemonade?

I F***ing HATE lemonade.

Let me start out that I am in Reno Nevada (drove up from Vegas ) as my wife is in the national womans bowling tournament here. We went to Vegas to visit my parental units and used one of their vehicles to drive 450+ miles to get here.

We get here yesterday in Reno at the Eldorado and first thing we do when we get checked into our hotel room is go downstairs to hit the casino.

I win $350 on the BIG wheel of fortune so I think GREAT I will try my luck on the .25cent Wheel of Fortune that is at $216,000+change and it is one of my favorite things to play.

I sit there for about 30 minutes and spent very little. We get a phone call to meet some of her bowling cronies for dinner. We go get dinner and 40 minutes later we go back down to the casino and SON OF A BITCH if someone didn't hit the GAWDAMED progressive on the same Fuggin machine I was playing on. :banghead:

ALL THREE REELS are flashing with the Wheel of Fortune on the payline. Dude is there running diagnostics on the machine so I had to ask. Sure enough someone won. :cuss:

My wife was bummed all night because she knows I would have sit there for a good hour had we NOT been disturbed.

This is the first chance I've had to get on-line since we got here but I had to just post and say GAWDAMMIT why couldn't that have been ME?


Either way I am still having a good time but I can only think of how MUCH better of a GOOD TIME I could be having with $216K. :sulk:

88TG88
06-10-2009, 11:28 PM
I wouldn't be mad, that is just so random nobody could've known.

Mr. Flopnuts
06-10-2009, 11:29 PM
Oww. I had a buddy that hit 5 out of 6 on the WA lottery a few years ago. He won $500. With that last number he wins 18 million. Talk about the most miserable $500 anyone could ever win.

Scorp
06-10-2009, 11:31 PM
Congratulations on being average the rest of your life.

Kerberos
06-10-2009, 11:31 PM
I wouldn't be mad, that is just so random nobody could've known.

What bugs me the most is we left to go eat with a bunch of bitches I really don't like.

Irony at it's finest.

KCwolf
06-10-2009, 11:34 PM
Maybe try the Pink lemonade??

Mr. Flopnuts
06-10-2009, 11:35 PM
What bugs me the most is we left to go eat with a bunch of bitches I really don't like.

Irony at it's finest.

LMAO There is no hope you will ever gain any level of appreciation for those people ever again. They will always be nothing more than the cunts that cost you 200 grand.

Frazod
06-10-2009, 11:38 PM
Boy, how's that for ironic - I'm in Reno and I won $216,000 on the Wheel of Fortune machine after the guy that had been playing left with a bunch of women wearing bowling shirts!

KCFalcon59
06-10-2009, 11:41 PM
You know how they say when life hands you lemons you are supposed to make lemonade?

I F***ing HATE lemonade.

Let me start out that I am in Reno Nevada (drove up from Vegas ) as my wife is in the national womans bowling tournament here. We went to Vegas to visit my parental units and used one of their vehicles to drive 450+ miles to get here.

We get here yesterday in Reno at the Eldorado and first thing we do when we get checked into our hotel room is go downstairs to hit the casino.

I win $350 on the BIG wheel of fortune so I think GREAT I will try my luck on the .25cent Wheel of Fortune that is at $216,000+change and it is one of my favorite things to play.

I sit there for about 30 minutes and spent very little. We get a phone call to meet some of her bowling cronies for dinner. We go get dinner and 40 minutes later we go back down to the casino and SON OF A BITCH if someone didn't hit the GAWDAMED progressive on the same Fuggin machine I was playing on. :banghead:

ALL THREE REELS are flashing with the Wheel of Fortune on the payline. Dude is there running diagnostics on the machine so I had to ask. Sure enough someone won. :cuss:

My wife was bummed all night because she knows I would have sit there for a good hour had we NOT been disturbed.

This is the first chance I've had to get on-line since we got here but I had to just post and say GAWDAMMIT why couldn't that have been ME?


Either way I am still having a good time but I can only think of how MUCH better of a GOOD TIME I could be having with $216K. :sulk:

God damnit, man. There goes the BD present you were going to buy me.

KCFalcon59
06-10-2009, 11:42 PM
Boy, how's that for ironic - I'm in Reno and I won $216,000 on the Wheel of Fortune machine after the guy that had been playing left with a bunch of women wearing bowling shirts!

LMAOLMAO

Phobia
06-10-2009, 11:45 PM
What's to say it hits if you continued playing?

Psyko Tek
06-10-2009, 11:52 PM
Maybe try the Pink lemonade??

Lynchburg lemonade

doomy3
06-11-2009, 12:39 AM
Damn, that is rough.

BigRock
06-11-2009, 01:11 AM
The guy who won could be an unstable former mental patient who would have knifed you if he'd caught you sitting at his favorite machine.

Instead of being mad that you didn't win, be happy you aren't dead.

cdcox
06-11-2009, 01:28 AM
What's to say it hits if you continued playing?

This.

It's not like you pull it x times it is going to pay off. It depends on how the lever is pulled.

If you pulled the handle exactly like the winner did EVERY time, yeah you would have won. Good luck with that.

TinyEvel
06-11-2009, 02:06 AM
Chiefs lost 7 games by 7 points or less last year. We could have all been sporting SuperBowl shirts right now.

that sucks.

Johnny Vegas
06-11-2009, 04:37 AM
I read in the tiny words on those W.O.F. machines that they pay you over 20 years or some shit like that. So you wouldn't have it all at once anyways.

JD10367
06-11-2009, 09:01 AM
This.

It's not like you pull it x times it is going to pay off. It depends on how the lever is pulled.

If you pulled the handle exactly like the winner did EVERY time, yeah you would have won. Good luck with that.

Not true. All slot machines are computerized, even the "mechanical reel" ones. As soon as you press "spin" or pull the handle, the computer knows what the outcome will be.

Furthermore, the computer inside continues to "play" even when you don't play it. It's little brain is running the payouts, going "nothing, nothing, a buck, nothing, five bucks, nothing, two bucks, five hundred bucks, nothing, nothing, five bucks..." You simply have to be lucky enough to put the quarter in and press "spin" at the same time. In other words, if you play a machine, and stop, and walk away, and no one plays that machine for an hour, and an hour later someone hits on their first pull, that doesn't mean you would've hit an hour ago. Whether or not you played it for an hour or not, it wouldn't have hit until that moment in time.

However, it also depends on whether or not you were playing Max Bet, which is usually what you need for the huge payoffs. If, indeed, you were playing Max Bet, and if, indeed, you would've sat there for that whole time period, then, yes, you would've been the one to hit that jackpot at that moment in time.

(As you can tell, I spend too much time at casinos.)

Demonpenz
06-11-2009, 09:04 AM
I was playing one time at vegas and my kid puled me away causing the game to be invalid, so I didn't win the prize, I was annoyed at first, but my wife and kids is all the prize I need

mikeyis4dcats.
06-11-2009, 09:08 AM
if I understand them correctly, pregressives pay out randomly, but there's no guarantee you would have hit the jackpot. With even a couple of seconds difference, the network could have triggered a jackpot somewhere else.

Fire Me Boy!
06-11-2009, 09:10 AM
I know it doesn't make up for the total amount, but I just donated $12,600 in casino cash to you. If we can get enough people to donate the remaining $203,400, you'll be set.

You're welcome.

Fairplay
06-11-2009, 09:16 AM
The Grand Canyon could be an option.

Saulbadguy
06-11-2009, 09:17 AM
Were you playing the MAX bet?

Also, mikey is right. There is no guarantee you would have hit the jackpot.

Kerberos
06-11-2009, 09:21 AM
God damnit, man. There goes the BD present you were going to buy me.

Read Quote below.

I read in the tiny words on those W.O.F. machines that they pay you over 20 years or some shit like that. So you wouldn't have it all at once anyways.

You would be correct. But you know what... a few hundred bucks coming in every month would be kewl with me.

That would leave less for the BD present for KCFalcon. :D

Kerberos
06-11-2009, 09:24 AM
ROFL ROFL ROFL

Thanks for all the casino cash donations guys. That made my moring. :thumb:

cdcox
06-11-2009, 09:27 AM
Not true. All slot machines are computerized, even the "mechanical reel" ones. As soon as you press "spin" or pull the handle, the computer knows what the outcome will be.

Furthermore, the computer inside continues to "play" even when you don't play it. It's little brain is running the payouts, going "nothing, nothing, a buck, nothing, five bucks, nothing, two bucks, five hundred bucks, nothing, nothing, five bucks..." You simply have to be lucky enough to put the quarter in and press "spin" at the same time. In other words, if you play a machine, and stop, and walk away, and no one plays that machine for an hour, and an hour later someone hits on their first pull, that doesn't mean you would've hit an hour ago. Whether or not you played it for an hour or not, it wouldn't have hit until that moment in time.

However, it also depends on whether or not you were playing Max Bet, which is usually what you need for the huge payoffs. If, indeed, you were playing Max Bet, and if, indeed, you would've sat there for that whole time period, then, yes, you would've been the one to hit that jackpot at that moment in time.

(As you can tell, I spend too much time at casinos.)

The bolded part is true only if he hit the button at the exact instant (nearest 100th of a second) as the other player had hit the button. This is because the computer is generating 100's of random numbers per second (I bet it is even higher than that with current processors).

http://entertainment.howstuffworks.com/slot-machine3.htm

"Whenever the slot machine is turned on, the random number generator is spitting out whole numbers (typically between 1 and several billion) hundreds of times a second. "

If you set up two identical machines to the same internal electronic state and started them at the same exact instant, and then had two people sit down next to one another and play, their outcomes would be completely uncorrelated. Which was my point in describing the mechanical machines.

Kerberos
06-11-2009, 09:28 AM
Were you playing the MAX bet?

Also, mikey is right. There is no guarantee you would have hit the jackpot.

Yes I always play max bet. I know it is a long shot but it would also be my luck if I was playing the MegaBucks machine and only playing $1 instead of $3 a hit that sure enough I would win $5,000 instead of $20,000,000.

Saulbadguy
06-11-2009, 09:31 AM
So, you really have nothing to be bent out of shape about.

Fish
06-11-2009, 09:33 AM
Robots have trouble with randomness.....