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Jilly
06-15-2009, 12:35 PM
Doing a celebration of Men service on Sunday...... I'm obviously not a man.... what makes men, men? What should we be celebrating?

What's one thing you like, besides YOUR PENIS, about being a man?

keg in kc
06-15-2009, 12:36 PM
This should be good.

Deberg_1990
06-15-2009, 12:36 PM
No periods, pregnancies or giving birth.

MoreLemonPledge
06-15-2009, 12:37 PM
My penis.

BigMeatballDave
06-15-2009, 12:38 PM
I like standing up to pee. I suppose women could do the same, but its way less messy for us...

Buehler445
06-15-2009, 12:40 PM
Being able to remove emotion from analysis.
Posted via Mobile Device

Frazod
06-15-2009, 12:40 PM
Go bake something.

















:p

Gonzo
06-15-2009, 12:41 PM
My penis.

This..

Oh, and the older we get, the more distinguished we look.

When chicks get old, they look like Betty White.


(I would totally pork Betty White BTW)

Kyle DeLexus
06-15-2009, 12:41 PM
Wolf T-shirts

Pestilence
06-15-2009, 12:42 PM
No periods, pregnancies or giving birth.

I like standing up to pee. I suppose women could do the same, but its way less messy for us...

Being able to remove emotion from analysis.
Posted via Mobile Device

These

Tiger's Fan
06-15-2009, 12:42 PM
The ability to seperate sex from love.

Count Zarth
06-15-2009, 12:42 PM
Logic.

MoreLemonPledge
06-15-2009, 12:45 PM
The ability to vote.

Basileus777
06-15-2009, 12:46 PM
Leaving the kitchen.

Pestilence
06-15-2009, 12:47 PM
The ability to vote.

Leaving the kitchen.

ROFL

Slainte
06-15-2009, 12:48 PM
Men don't start threads like this. That's a plus.

SPchief
06-15-2009, 12:48 PM
Knowing that you can give someone a gag reflex

Demonpenz
06-15-2009, 12:49 PM
takes us less longer to get ready

RJ
06-15-2009, 12:49 PM
Being on the receiving end of a blow job makes all the burdens of manhood worthwhile.

keg in kc
06-15-2009, 12:50 PM
The ability to vote.

Leaving the kitchen.Don't forget shoes.

Frazod
06-15-2009, 12:50 PM
My ass does look big in these pants.

But I don't really care.

PhillyChiefFan
06-15-2009, 12:53 PM
No drama, if my friend and I get into a fight, we are drinking a beer and laughing about it 10 mins later.

FAX
06-15-2009, 12:53 PM
I would say that it's the ability to think logically under duress or the specific and particular aspects of life that naturally appeal and interest men - competitiveness, for example.

But, I think it's the mystery of women. I think that's what I like best.

If I were a woman, I would understand women. But, since I am a man, they are perfectly, remarkably, and wonderfully foreign and strange. It's for that reason that I dedicated my life to the understanding of the fairer sex. What makes them tick, what pleases them, how they can walk in those funny, little shoes, etc.

My laboratory has now been taken over by only one of my experiments, though.

FAX

Lumpy
06-15-2009, 12:55 PM
No drama, if my friend and I get into a fight, we are drinking a beer and laughing about it 10 mins later.

This is why I WISH I was a guy. :(

Hog Farmer
06-15-2009, 12:55 PM
I like being able to fart out loud.

I like being able to kill my food and make someone else cook it.

I like being able to drink a 12 pack and not get raped.

I like being able to kick someones ass just because I'm in a bad mood.

Gonzo
06-15-2009, 12:55 PM
Awe... C'mon!

Nobody else here would plow Betty White?

Imagine the stories you could tell.

Gonzo
06-15-2009, 12:56 PM
I like being able to fart out loud.

I like being able to kill my food and make someone else cook it.

I like being able to drink a 12 pack and not get raped.
I like being able to kick someones ass just because I'm in a bad mood.

Come over to my house and drink a twelver. We'll see about this.

Radar Chief
06-15-2009, 12:57 PM
Short phone conversations. I rarely have a conversation with one of my friends that lasts longer than a minute or so. Who, what, why, where, when, done.

Hog Farmer
06-15-2009, 12:57 PM
Awe... C'mon!

Nobody else here would plow Betty White?

Imagine the stories you could tell.


Swap her out for Pamela Anderson and I'm game.

Katipan
06-15-2009, 12:57 PM
Not having to wash my hands after I go to the bathroom.
The way balls cling to a thigh.
Ear hair.

seclark
06-15-2009, 12:58 PM
the ability to say "piss on the directions", and when everything gets hosed blame it on the directions.
sec

Gonzo
06-15-2009, 12:58 PM
Not having to wash my hands after I go to the bathroom.
The way balls cling to a thigh.
Ear hair.

I always wash my hands.

And the other two options suck ass.

Hog Farmer
06-15-2009, 12:58 PM
Come over to my house and drink a twelver. We'll see about this.


Ummm. I think I'll pass !

Jilly
06-15-2009, 12:59 PM
wow, men really have no capacity to be deep, huh? I was just curious because I know the stereotypes...I'm wondering if there's something else to being a man that maybe I don't see as an outsider.

FYI....the first thing I would do, if I were suddenly a man is pee standing up. That's got to be so easy.

Gonzo
06-15-2009, 12:59 PM
Ummm. I think I'll pass !

I figured that'd get a chuckle outta ya.

Otter
06-15-2009, 12:59 PM
Roll out of bed, brush my teeth, throw on a baseball cap and be able to go just about anywhere that doesn't require a tie.

"Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever. ....." - that's what is cool about being a guy.

Jilly
06-15-2009, 01:00 PM
Men don't start threads like this. That's a plus.

we'll see, because I bet this will be great thread.....in spite of your not contributing to it

MoreLemonPledge
06-15-2009, 01:01 PM
The way balls cling to a thigh.

One of the few negatives, actually.

Being able to pick said balls off of thigh in public without anybody thinking twice is the positive.

Katipan
06-15-2009, 01:01 PM
FYI....the first thing I would do, if I were suddenly a man is pee standing up. That's got to be so easy.

omg. I would plunge my penis into the nearest vagina.

Just to know.

Jilly
06-15-2009, 01:02 PM
omg. I would plunge my penis into the nearest vagina.

Just to know.

that's next....but....first I want to see how far I can aim my pee....if I can write things with it.....etc.

Then I want to know what it's like to ram things with it

Radar Chief
06-15-2009, 01:03 PM
wow, men really have no capacity to be deep, huh? I was just curious because I know the stereotypes...I'm wondering if there's something else to being a man that maybe I don't see as an outsider.

Depends on what you’re calling “deep”. If by that you mean emotionally attached, we’re less likely than women but when we do get attached it typically lasts a while.

FYI....the first thing I would do, if I were suddenly a man is pee standing up. That's got to be so easy.

That is actually a big plus, particularly for an outdoorsy kind of guy.

Slainte
06-15-2009, 01:04 PM
we'll see, because I bet this will be great thread.....in spite of your not contributing to it

Oh Gosh, I almost forgot!--being able to spot contributions for what they are.

Hog Farmer
06-15-2009, 01:04 PM
omg. I would plunge my penis into the nearest vagina.

Just to know.


Just to know what ?

DeezNutz
06-15-2009, 01:05 PM
If my junk smells like fish, it's because I wanted it to.

burt
06-15-2009, 01:05 PM
After reading my responses in another thread....I am NOT qualified to answer!

DeezNutz
06-15-2009, 01:06 PM
Every man I see isn't trying to fuck me.

Radar Chief
06-15-2009, 01:07 PM
Not having to wash my hands after I go to the bathroom.
Ear hair.

Ew, you nasty.

The way balls cling to a thigh.

Heh, when I was in the Army I went “commando” for the morning PT run once. Once.
It’s one of the more painful mistakes I’ve ever made.

keg in kc
06-15-2009, 01:08 PM
After reading my responses in another thread....I am NOT qualified to answer!I don't fit well in this thread at all, but I've always had my own views on the ridiculous way gender is treated in society.

So I guess one thing I like about being a man is being able to be my own man, and not having to be like everybody else.

But women get to do that, too, so maybe it's no answer either.

Otter
06-15-2009, 01:09 PM
Not having to wash my hands after I go to the bathroom.
The way balls cling to a thigh.
Ear hair.

My buddy Chris is a big mofo, about 6' 3" 320. If he wears shorts without something keep things in place such as spandex or tighty whiteys he sits on his scrotum when getting in his truck, eating dinner...all the above.

Wrap your mind around that one. Not pretty.

KCChiefsMan
06-15-2009, 01:10 PM
I like being able to save my money and not spend it all on blouses and shoes.

RJ
06-15-2009, 01:11 PM
[QUOTE=Jilly;5840679]wow, men really have no capacity to be deep, huh?QUOTE]



You women really don't understand just how shallow we usually are. I go through this a lot with my wife. If she notices I'm in a quiet mood, maybe looking deep in thought, we'll have a conversation like this....

"You're very quiet. Is something wrong?"

"No honey, everything's fine."

"Then why are you so quiet?"

"I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

And she thinks I'm going to respond with something heavy, some real worry that I have, and instead she'll get something like....

"Well, if you really want to know, I'm trying to decide whether I want to trade Vernon Wells for AJ Burnett in one of my baseball leagues."


And yet, after all these years, she continues to ask, despite always receiving a similar answer. She just doesn't get the depth of my shallowness.

tooge
06-15-2009, 01:11 PM
1. writing my name in pee in the snow, sand, concrete, etc. all the while standing up.
2. not feeling obligated to leave 4 minute phone messages
3. being able to hang out with 10 friends and not have it be a bitch session about the one that isn't there.

HemiEd
06-15-2009, 01:12 PM
Short phone conversations. I rarely have a conversation with one of my friends that lasts longer than a minute or so. Who, what, why, where, when, done.

Yeah, that is a huge item.


Another couple things I like, is being able to pinch the secretaries on the ass when they aren't looking. Getting sexual favors, for promotions, is another good perk.

gblowfish
06-15-2009, 01:12 PM
Higher pay for doing the same job a woman might also do.

Did I say that out loud?

MOhillbilly
06-15-2009, 01:13 PM
not having to hear my own voice to know i am still alive.

Gonzo
06-15-2009, 01:14 PM
If my junk smells like fish, it's because I wanted it to.

ROFL ROFL ROFL

Every man I see isn't trying to **** me.

As far as you know... :thailor:


Shit... That's two ghey posts in the same thread by me.

I wonder if I can get a handicapped sticker?

tooge
06-15-2009, 01:15 PM
Not having to wash my hands after I go to the bathroom.
The way balls cling to a thigh.
Ear hair.

problem solved. There is this stuff called anti-mokey butt at Orshleins farm and home. Keeps said nuts off said leg.

tooge
06-15-2009, 01:18 PM
Being able to cut my hair super short in the summer and not have everyone think I am a bull dyke. emo, or sinead o'connor wannabe.

Jilly
06-15-2009, 01:20 PM
I'm curious if there are men here who ever get frustrated with the whole, I'm a man and I grunt and am powerful stereotypical type stuff? Are there men on here who feel that being a man encompasses more than just things attached to your penis?

What'd it feel like when you held your child for the first time?
What was the first time you really felt like you were a man instead of a boy?
What's your biggest fear as a father or as a person in general?


I KNOW......I KNOW...but now you all have me so curious!

Katipan
06-15-2009, 01:21 PM
Just to know what ?

I apologize for not being clear.

I meant in the nearest human vagina.

Just Passin' By
06-15-2009, 01:21 PM
Not having absurd hormonal swings and issues for 50 years of your life. For men, it's a more even keel.

RaiderH8r
06-15-2009, 01:22 PM
Swap her out for Pamela Anderson and I'm game.

Dude, their vaginas look the same and with Betty White you won't get hepatitis.
















For clarity both vaginas look like a used catcher's mit. You're gonna need to spit on it first.

RaiderH8r
06-15-2009, 01:22 PM
Being able to drive is nice.

shitgoose
06-15-2009, 01:25 PM
We don't have to shave near as much as women

Not having to have a bunch of shit in my house. When i was single I had a recliner, a couch, a ping pong table, a shitload of plastic silverware and paper towels/plates, fridge, tv, stereo, bong, grill/smoker, comb, tootbrush, toothpaste, TP, shampoo, body wash, face wash, and 3 towels. Thats about it. Now I have so much crap I come across things that have been in my house for months and ask my wife if they are brand new.

CoMoChief
06-15-2009, 01:26 PM
- Not having to give birth
- Not having a vagina and all the bullshit that comes with it
- having a penis and being able to use it well and effectively
- Peeing standing up - along with just being able to do the wiggle shake and tuck away after every piss instead of wasting TP.
- Having better motor skills
- Being able to drive without injuring others or putting others at risk, this also goes the same for any other kind of vehicle or any kind of machinery.
- The microwave and dinners that can be cooked in them.
- Being stronger than the opposite sex.....unless your name is Chyna or Nicole Bass
- having your vote actually count in an election
- Being able to drink large mass quantities of Beer
- Being able to seperate emotion from real life decisions
- Nintendo and any gaming system after that
- Farting, burping, spitting, cussing
- Being able to sometimes wear the same outfit on consecutive days
- BBQ
- We ****.......women like to make love
- No drama and gossip
- Being able to wear whatever and not give a shit
- Dogs......cats are for women and queers
- Only need a few things in a bathroom for men, shaving gel and razor, toothpaste and brush, soap, shampoo, bodywash (maybe) and washcloth or something else to wipe yourself down with, we could go on for months on shit women need in a bathroom.
- Just like the previous post, just not having to have so much shit in your house period.

Jilly
06-15-2009, 01:28 PM
- Not having to give birth
- Not having a vagina and all the bullshit that comes with it
- having a penis and being able to use it well and effectively
- Peeing standing up - along with just being able to do the wiggle shake and tuck away after every piss instead of wasting TP.
- Having better motor skills
- Being stronger than the opposite sex.....unless your name is Chyna or Nicole Bass
- having your vote actually count in an election
- Being able to drink large mass quantities of Beer
- Being able to seperate emotion from real life decisions
- Nintendo and any gaming system after that
- Farting, burping, spitting, cussing
- Being able to sometimes wear the same outfit on consecutive days
- BBQ
- We ****.......women like to make love
- No drama and gossip
- Being able to wear whatever and not give a shit
- Dogs......cats are for women and queers
- Only need a few things in a bathroom for men, shaving gel and razor, toothpaste and brush, soap, shampoo, bodywash (maybe) and washcloth or something else to wipe yourself down with, we could go on for months on shit women need in a bathroom.
- Just like the previous post, just not having to have so much shit in your house period.

I must be a man.

ChiTown
06-15-2009, 01:30 PM
The ability to make decisions without being emotional.

FAX
06-15-2009, 01:31 PM
I'm curious if there are men here who ever get frustrated with the whole, I'm a man and I grunt and am powerful stereotypical type stuff? Are there men on here who feel that being a man encompasses more than just things attached to your penis?

What'd it feel like when you held your child for the first time?
What was the first time you really felt like you were a man instead of a boy?
What's your biggest fear as a father or as a person in general?

I KNOW......I KNOW...but now you all have me so curious!

Hmmm. Okay.

Being a man ... a real man, that is, Ms. Jilly, is fraught with internal conflict.

You are expected to be strong when you feel weak.
You are expected to be courageous when you feel fear.
You are expected to succeed when you feel like a failure.
You are expected to provide when you have nothing and even fewer opportunities.

Peeps are like onions. The "boy" resides in the "man". Our lives are a series of decisions as to which one makes the next move. Most men I know live in some state of fear, but they will not admit it - nor should they. Admitting it doesn't contribute to a solution and men are expected to solve things.

Being a man ... a real man ... is sacrifice.

FAX

DeezNutz
06-15-2009, 01:31 PM
I'm curious if there are men here who ever get frustrated with the whole, I'm a man and I grunt and am powerful stereotypical type stuff? Are there men on here who feel that being a man encompasses more than just things attached to your penis?

What'd it feel like when you held your child for the first time?
What was the first time you really felt like you were a man instead of a boy?
What's your biggest fear as a father or as a person in general?


I KNOW......I KNOW...but now you all have me so curious!

Huh?

Hmm mmm. :shake:

(Post #69! llolalrazz)

Bowser
06-15-2009, 01:31 PM
I'm curious if there are men here who ever get frustrated with the whole, I'm a man and I grunt and am powerful stereotypical type stuff? Are there men on here who feel that being a man encompasses more than just things attached to your penis?

What'd it feel like when you held your child for the first time?
What was the first time you really felt like you were a man instead of a boy?
What's your biggest fear as a father or as a person in general?


I KNOW......I KNOW...but now you all have me so curious!

The sensitive man, feelgood shit died in 1998, irrc. But just to humor -

1) Words can't explain.
2) A toss up between the first time I made a girl cum really, really hard and when my parents came and visited me in basic training
3) As a father - seeing my daughter harmed in any way. As a person, probably dying alone. That, or spiders. I fucking hate spiders.

MOhillbilly
06-15-2009, 01:31 PM
being able to see a rodent and not have a breakdown is also choice.

seclark
06-15-2009, 01:33 PM
What'd it feel like when you held your child for the first time?
What was the first time you really felt like you were a man instead of a boy?
What's your biggest fear as a father or as a person in general?


1. pretty crazy, because i'd just found out she had 2 instead of 1.
2. the day my family moved out of town and left me on my own at 16 years old.
3. losing a child, grandchild or my wife.

sec

Otter
06-15-2009, 01:33 PM
Dude, their vaginas look the same and with Betty White you won't get hepatitis.

I would like to introduce a by-law to the Chiefsplanet rules which state "Betty White" and "Vagina" are no longer allowed to be used in the same sentence.

Bowser
06-15-2009, 01:34 PM
being able to see a rodent and not have a breakdown is also choice.

Oh, fuck yes. And not doing that panicked hopping dance when you see a bug.

Katipan
06-15-2009, 01:34 PM
The sensitive man, feelgood shit died in 1998, irrc. But just to humor -

1) Words can't explain.
2) A toss up between the first time I made a girl cum really, really hard and when my parents came and visited me in basic training
3) As a father - seeing my daughter harmed in any way. As a person, probably dying alone. That, or spiders. I ****ing hate spiders.

LMAO

Bad. Ass.

FAX
06-15-2009, 01:34 PM
I would like to introduce a by-law to the Chiefsplanet rules which state "Betty White" and "Vagina" are no longer allowed to be used in the same sentence.

Seconded.

FAX

Katipan
06-15-2009, 01:35 PM
Oh, **** yes. And not doing that panicked hopping dance when you see a bug.

Hey now. Some of them have really long hairy legs.

DeezNutz
06-15-2009, 01:35 PM
The sensitive man, feelgood shit died in 1998, irrc. But just to humor -

1) Words can't explain.
2) A toss up between the first time I made a girl cum really, really hard and when my parents came and visited me in basic training
3) As a father - seeing my daughter harmed in any way. As a person, probably dying alone. That, or spiders. I ****ing hate spiders.

Whoa. And then they visited? You're a good son.

keg in kc
06-15-2009, 01:35 PM
I'm curious if there are men here who ever get frustrated with the whole, I'm a man and I grunt and am powerful stereotypical type stuff? Are there men on here who feel that being a man encompasses more than just things attached to your penis? I think it does encompass more. A lot more. And I think most of the whole "we don't feel emotions" stuff is a combination of fear and social conditioning. But does the stereotype frustrate me? No. Not at all. I am who I am, and couldn't give two shits how anybody else wants to act. You be you and be happy with it.

DeezNutz
06-15-2009, 01:35 PM
Hey now. Some of them have really long hairy legs.

I hate bitches like that.

Shave.

Hog Farmer
06-15-2009, 01:35 PM
I'm curious if there are men here who ever get frustrated with the whole, I'm a man and I grunt and am powerful stereotypical type stuff? Are there men on here who feel that being a man encompasses more than just things attached to your penis?

What'd it feel like when you held your child for the first time? It gave me a boner
What was the first time you really felt like you were a man instead of a boy? When I lost my virginity.
What's your biggest fear as a father or as a person in general? Getting hit in the nuts


I KNOW......I KNOW...but now you all have me so curious!


You asked !

Katipan
06-15-2009, 01:36 PM
Peeps are like onions.

I thought Ogres were like onions.

FAX
06-15-2009, 01:36 PM
Ogres are like cantaloupe. Peeps are like onions.

FAX

CoMoChief
06-15-2009, 01:37 PM
The sensitive man, feelgood shit died in 1998, irrc. But just to humor -

1) Words can't explain.
2) A toss up between the first time I made a girl cum really, really hard and when my parents came and visited me in basic training
3) As a father - seeing my daughter harmed in any way. As a person, probably dying alone. That, or spiders. I ****ing hate spiders.

I fucking HATE spiders.

My friends and I, on my friends grandparents land had a huge pine tree farm, well one day we decided to make a log cabin. It was pretty big too, probably comfortably fit/sleep 15 people in it.

Anyways there was a spider that we all tried killing.....we called it Big Bob, he was a huge Wolf spider that was about as big as a catchers mit and looked like it was a Tarantula from hell. Every now and then it would pop out to say hello. Scare the shit out of all of us. The cabin has now been bulldozed away......but Bob still lives out there, probably eating something 30x his size.

crazycoffey
06-15-2009, 01:37 PM
that's next....but....first I want to see how far I can aim my pee....if I can write things with it.....etc.

Then I want to know what it's like to ram things with it


Yes, these are the basic joys to being a man, writing your name in the snow (who hasn't done it?) and seeing how far away from the toliet you can get while not spilling too much (the apathy if it does spill alot). Also getting pleasure from ramming your penis into vaginas, the back of a girls throat, the vacuum cleaner (oops, did I say that outloud?)

MOhillbilly
06-15-2009, 01:38 PM
being able to show up to a function on time(everytime). being able to make a decision in a timely manner.

FAX
06-15-2009, 01:39 PM
I think I've met Big Bob.

FAX

BigMeatballDave
06-15-2009, 01:39 PM
If my junk smells like fish, it's because I wanted it to.

ROFL

tooge
06-15-2009, 01:39 PM
I'm curious if there are men here who ever get frustrated with the whole, I'm a man and I grunt and am powerful stereotypical type stuff? Are there men on here who feel that being a man encompasses more than just things attached to your penis?

What'd it feel like when you held your child for the first time?
What was the first time you really felt like you were a man instead of a boy?
What's your biggest fear as a father or as a person in general?


I KNOW......I KNOW...but now you all have me so curious!

1. incredible. I said "hey little buddy" and I thought someday I would be sittin in a boat in
canada getting outfished by this little purple alien manchild
2. same time as above. Actually had to be responsible for someone else.
3. Anything happening to my wife or children that is tragic

Jilly
06-15-2009, 01:39 PM
Hmmm. Okay.

Being a man ... a real man, that is, Ms. Jilly, is fraught with internal conflict.

You are expected to be strong when you feel weak.
You are expected to be courageous when you feel fear.
You are expected to succeed when you feel like a failure.
You are expected to provide when you have nothing and even fewer opportunities.

Peeps are like onions. The "boy" resides in the "man". Our lives are a series of decisions as to which one makes the next move. Most men I know live in some state of fear, but they will not admit it - nor should they. Admitting it doesn't contribute to a solution and men are expected to solve things.

Being a man ... a real man ... is sacrifice.

FAX

Some honesty.....thanks for sharing this with me. Us, I guess! I bet a lot of other men feel this way as well...

Jilly
06-15-2009, 01:41 PM
The sensitive man, feelgood shit died in 1998, irrc. But just to humor -

1) Words can't explain.
2) A toss up between the first time I made a girl cum really, really hard and when my parents came and visited me in basic training
3) As a father - seeing my daughter harmed in any way. As a person, probably dying alone. That, or spiders. I ****ing hate spiders.

That second one is when I felt like a real man as well.

But thanks for overcoming your "cool" self to humor me!

crazycoffey
06-15-2009, 01:42 PM
Some honesty.....thanks for sharing this with me. Us, I guess! I bet a lot of other men feel this way as well...


maybe, but we don't want to waste this opportunity to look manly, it's the fear of appearing weak and like a failure stops us....

DJJasonp
06-15-2009, 01:44 PM
Not sure if mentioned....but (many) women spend a ton of dough on makeup, hair products, nails, etc. etc.

I'm no slob by any means...and I spend more dough on a haircut than most dudes (supercuts will F up your hair).....but it's nice not to have to spend a buttload of money to look/feel good.

tooge
06-15-2009, 01:44 PM
That second one is when I felt like a real man as well.

But thanks for overcoming your "cool" self to humor me!

You made a girl cum real hard?

keg in kc
06-15-2009, 01:45 PM
Not sure if mentioned....but (many) women spend a ton of dough on makeup, hair products, nails, etc. etc.

I'm no slob by any means...and I spend more dough on a haircut than most dudes (supercuts will F up your hair).....but it's nice not to have to spend a buttload of money to look/feel good.That's a good one. I shave every three days and my haircut can best be described as 'short, no maintenance'. I look the same whether I'm out of the shower or just out of bed. And I live in t-shirts and shorts.

MOhillbilly
06-15-2009, 01:46 PM
That second one is when I felt like a real man as well.

But thanks for overcoming your "cool" self to humor me!

not having to 'guilt trip' people into doing what i want.

RJ
06-15-2009, 01:50 PM
What'd it feel like when you held your child for the first time?
What was the first time you really felt like you were a man instead of a boy?
What's your biggest fear as a father or as a person in general?


I KNOW......I KNOW...but now you all have me so curious!



1) I felt like a giant.

2) See #1.

3) To echo the sentiments of others, anything bad happening to my kids. Clowns are a very distant second.

RJ
06-15-2009, 01:51 PM
You made a girl cum real hard?


Masturbation?

KCChiefsMan
06-15-2009, 01:53 PM
also having the ability to jizz in my pants is good

FAX
06-15-2009, 01:53 PM
I don't know why peeps are so afraid of clowns. They can barely run in the big, floppy shoes and they can't take a halfway decent shot to the red, bulbous nose.

In a fight between a clown and a real man, I'm taking the real man every time.

FAX

DJJasonp
06-15-2009, 01:57 PM
I don't know why peeps are so afraid of clowns. They can barely run in the big, floppy shoes and they can't take a halfway decent shot to the red, bulbous nose.

In a fight between a clown and a real man, I'm taking the real man every time.

FAX

but what if they're evil clowns.....in an evil petting zoo???

RJ
06-15-2009, 01:57 PM
Deep down, all clowns are heartless, soulless, bloodthirsty, remorseless beings. That's why they're clowns. Don't let the balloon animals and shadow puppets fool you.

Jilly
06-15-2009, 01:58 PM
1) I felt like a giant.

2) See #1.

3) To echo the sentiments of others, anything bad happening to my kids. Clowns are a very distant second.

I hate clowns.

FAX
06-15-2009, 01:58 PM
If they're evil clowns in an evil petting zoo, the best thing to do is stay away. However, if you must engage, use a flame-thrower. Clowns hate fire.

FAX

wutamess
06-15-2009, 01:59 PM
Being able to knock off as many women as I can and not be labeled a whore.
I love the biased hypocritical benefits we receive because of that.

listopencil
06-15-2009, 02:00 PM
Licking cream off a half-dressed stranger.

Simply Red
06-15-2009, 02:01 PM
http://i43.tinypic.com/243p4yr.jpg

GoHuge
06-15-2009, 02:01 PM
Having the right to be a land owner.

Not having to wear a beekeeper suit if I happened to go to a muslim country.

Not having a permanent wound in my midsection that becomes a huge laibility once a month.

The ability to balance a checkbook.

wutamess
06-15-2009, 02:02 PM
What'd it feel like when you held your child for the first time?
Complete.

What was the first time you really felt like you were a man instead of a boy?
When I moved away for college.

What's your biggest fear as a father or as a person in general?
Receiving a frantic phonecall about something happened to one of my kids.
Not living long enough to be able to see them grow up.

Otter
06-15-2009, 02:02 PM
Clowns freak me out - badlly.

I still remember an early birthday party where right after I blew out the candles while sitting in my Mom's lap my uncle came in dressed as a clown and I started screaming bloody murder. Knocked the chair over we were stting in almost the table.

Irrational? Maybe. But they freak me out.

I don't like the way their eyes have no expression.

Micjones
06-15-2009, 02:03 PM
Crushing another man's hopes and dreams by scoring a game-winning TD on Madden.

Jilly
06-15-2009, 02:03 PM
Clowns freak me out - badlly.

I still remember an early birthday party where right after I blew out the candles while sitting in my Mom's lap my uncle came in dressed as a clown and I started screaming bloody murder. Knocked the chair over we were stting in almost the table.

Irrational? Maybe. But they freak me out.

I don't like the way their eyes have no expression.

they are a distortion of the human figure and it is awful. Why the red around the lips? Why aren't regular lips ok for a clown? why do they have to have big everythings? noses, shoes, clothes.....what the hell? And they're not even funny, in fact they are mean.

Otter
06-15-2009, 02:07 PM
they are a distortion of the human figure and it is awful. Why the red around the lips? Why aren't regular lips ok for a clown? why do they have to have big everythings? noses, shoes, clothes.....what the hell? And they're not even funny, in fact they are mean.

Oh, I agree 100%.

To me a clown is no different than someone wearing a ski mask. An alarm goes off inside but because they're a fucking clown it's supposed to be OK.

SCREW YOU CLOWNS!!!!

Jilly
06-15-2009, 02:08 PM
Oh, I agree 100%.

To me a clown is no different than someone wearing a ski mask. An alarm goes off inside but because they're a ****ing clown it's supposed to be OK.

SCREW YOU CLOWNS!!!!

and they have big everythings, but then a fucking tiny ass car? No...it's not logical nor is it safe.

tooge
06-15-2009, 02:10 PM
they are a distortion of the human figure and it is awful. Why the red around the lips? Why aren't regular lips ok for a clown? why do they have to have big everythings? noses, shoes, clothes.....what the hell? And they're not even funny, in fact they are mean.

The are the animated metaphor for a vagina really. Big saggy red shoes. Red swollen lips in an eerily inviting pose. Giant red nose bulb just asking to be sqeezed and popped. Even the huge afro head. Maybe that is why so many men are intrigued and yet frightened by clowns.

FAX
06-15-2009, 02:12 PM
Clowns freak me out - badlly.

I still remember an early birthday party where right after I blew out the candles while sitting in my Mom's lap my uncle came in dressed as a clown and I started screaming bloody murder. Knocked the chair over we were stting in almost the table.

Irrational? Maybe. But they freak me out.

I don't like the way their eyes have no expression.

I hate to break it to you in a venue of this nature, Mr. Otter. But, I'm afraid your uncle may be a land shark.

FAX

Jilly
06-15-2009, 02:13 PM
The are the animated metaphor for a vagina really. Big saggy red shoes. Red swollen lips in an eerily inviting pose. Giant red nose bulb just asking to be sqeezed and popped. Even the huge afro head. Maybe that is why so many men are intrigued and yet frightened by clowns.

I'm not sure I have ever heard this comparison before. I'm both amused and a little disturbed.

tooge
06-15-2009, 02:14 PM
I'm not sure I have ever heard this comparison before. I'm both amused and a little disturbed.

Go to McDonalds and jam a fry in the fake ronalds mouth. You'll see what I mean.

Otter
06-15-2009, 02:15 PM
The are the animated metaphor for a vagina really. Big saggy red shoes. Red swollen lips in an eerily inviting pose. Giant red nose bulb just asking to be sqeezed and popped. Even the huge afro head. Maybe that is why so many men are intrigued and yet frightened by clowns.

Oh well that's just ****ing great!!!

So help me God Tooge, next time I go for a muff dive if I see a little clown face looking back at me I will hunt you down like a dog.

Katipan
06-15-2009, 02:16 PM
Any dude that pops something on me, I'm popping something on him.

Jilly
06-15-2009, 02:17 PM
Go to McDonalds and jam a fry in the fake ronalds mouth. You'll see what I mean.

fuck that, I'm not getting that close to him

FAX
06-15-2009, 02:19 PM
If clowns were so friggin' dangerous, we would have clown armies ... which we don't. There would be clown spies and clown hitmen and clown prisons ... which there aren't.

The whole clown fear deal is an overblown myth. Clowns are happy peeps who's only desire in life is to bring joy.

But, if you must kill a clown, use fire. Their wigs and noses are made from synthetic material that will quickly fry their entire head into a blackened stump once ignited.

FAX

RJ
06-15-2009, 02:22 PM
and they have big everythings, but then a ****ing tiny ass car? No...it's not logical nor is it safe.


No matter how many clowns you fight off, there's still more coming out of that car. They're like zombies.

irishjayhawk
06-15-2009, 02:23 PM
1. writing my name in pee in the snow, sand, concrete, etc. all the while standing up.
2. not feeling obligated to leave 4 minute phone messages
3. being able to hang out with 10 friends and not have it be a bitch session about the one that isn't there.

I must hang with the wrong crowd.

Bowser
06-15-2009, 02:25 PM
Any dude that pops something on me, I'm popping something on him.

Outstanding.

Jilly
06-15-2009, 02:26 PM
No matter how many clowns you fight off, there's still more coming out of that car. They're like zombies.

They're assholes.

RJ
06-15-2009, 02:27 PM
If clowns were so friggin' dangerous, we would have clown armies ... which we don't. There would be clown spies and clown hitmen and clown prisons ... which there aren't.

The whole clown fear deal is an overblown myth. Clowns are happy peeps who's only desire in life is to bring joy.

But, if you must kill a clown, use fire. Their wigs and noses are made from synthetic material that will quickly fry their entire head into a blackened stump once ignited.

FAX


Actually, the newer wigs and noses are all flame retardant. It was covered under the Child Safety Act after a number of children were injured by burning clowns. It's a shame there has to be a tragedy before laws like this are passed.

Bowser
06-15-2009, 02:35 PM
Burning asshole zombies? Glad I read The Zombie Survival Guide!

BigMeatballDave
06-15-2009, 02:37 PM
I enjoy putting my D in a V.

tooge
06-15-2009, 02:39 PM
If clowns were so friggin' dangerous, we would have clown armies ... which we don't. There would be clown spies and clown hitmen and clown prisons ... which there aren't.

The whole clown fear deal is an overblown myth. Clowns are happy peeps who's only desire in life is to bring joy.

But, if you must kill a clown, use fire. Their wigs and noses are made from synthetic material that will quickly fry their entire head into a blackened stump once ignited.

FAX

What about those midget clowns FAX?

RaiderH8r
06-15-2009, 02:43 PM
What about those midget clowns FAX?

They bide their time, hiding in your luggage.

Otter
06-15-2009, 02:47 PM
What about those midget clowns FAX?

Well played.

How about having these guys over for some fondu tonight Mr. Fax? :hmmm:

http://www.postanotice.org/cc/media/images/dynamic/11050_idge_clown_post.JPG

Ari Chi3fs
06-15-2009, 02:51 PM
I enjoy helping my kids grow into adults... and make good decisions.

I enjoy helping my son become a man... and helping him grow.

I enjoy watching my little girl grow into a woman, and become more eloquent with her words and dance around in complete bliss.

I enjoy getting to coach my son and his team in baseball... and helping them all become solid hitters and feel success in their life.

Helping mold my little ones is a great joy...

Ari Chi3fs
06-15-2009, 02:51 PM
I enjoy being a man, because our salaries are higher.

Bowser
06-15-2009, 02:52 PM
I enjoy being a man, because our salaries are higher.

Quite hogging all the casino cash, dick.

Fritz88
06-15-2009, 03:10 PM
rational. Reason.

FAX
06-15-2009, 04:01 PM
As we all know, there is a difference between a clown and a midget clown. Just as there is a difference between a baker and a midget baker or a swim team coach and a midget swim team coach. Regardless of their profession, if we're ever going to live in a midget-free world, zero tolerance for midgets is the only viable policy. I'm certain that non-midget clowns feel the same way.

FAX

stevieray
06-15-2009, 04:14 PM
the love of a good woman.

kstater
06-15-2009, 04:17 PM
Come over to my house and drink a twelver. We'll see about this.

:spock:

CoMoChief
06-15-2009, 04:18 PM
the love of a good woman.

while that's nice n all, you're totally missing the point of this thread.

Unless your wife is looking over your shoulder or something while you type. :D

keg in kc
06-15-2009, 04:22 PM
Not needing a box full of battery operated apparatii to pleasure myself on a regular basis. Or a towel.

That one'll go over big in church.

stevieray
06-15-2009, 04:25 PM
while that's nice n all, you're totally missing the point of this thread.

Unless your wife is looking over your shoulder or something while you type. :D
example..I'm bulding a bitchin motor for my van..who do you think went and got a water pump today? ..right after she agreed about headers , because well, if you're gonna do it, you might as well do it right....:D


better?

big nasty kcnut
06-15-2009, 04:41 PM
Rena is one cool girl.
Posted via Mobile Device

LaChapelle
06-15-2009, 04:44 PM
Tools. Being a man is all about tools and knowing/learning how to use them.

RippedmyFlesh
06-15-2009, 04:59 PM
One of the best things about being a man..
In less than 15 minutes to be able to go from dirty from yard work or working on the car,,,to showered hair washed shaved teeth brushed dressed keys in hand ready to go out.
No woman can do that..............

stumppy
06-15-2009, 05:07 PM
Diggin, pickin, and scratchin is expected behaviour.

CoMoChief
06-15-2009, 05:09 PM
example..I'm bulding a bitchin motor for my van..who do you think went and got a water pump today? ..right after she agreed about headers , because well, if you're gonna do it, you might as well do it right....:D


better?

Nice.........cool wife you must have.

Norman Einstein
06-15-2009, 05:16 PM
- Not having to give birth
- Not having a vagina and all the bullshit that comes with it
- having a penis and being able to use it well and effectively
- Peeing standing up - along with just being able to do the wiggle shake and tuck away after every piss instead of wasting TP.
- Having better motor skills
- Being able to drive without injuring others or putting others at risk, this also goes the same for any other kind of vehicle or any kind of machinery.
- The microwave and dinners that can be cooked in them.
- Being stronger than the opposite sex.....unless your name is Chyna or Nicole Bass
- having your vote actually count in an election
- Being able to drink large mass quantities of Beer
- Being able to seperate emotion from real life decisions
- Nintendo and any gaming system after that
- Farting, burping, spitting, cussing
- Being able to sometimes wear the same outfit on consecutive days
- BBQ
- We ****.......women like to make love
- No drama and gossip
- Being able to wear whatever and not give a shit
- Dogs......cats are for women and queers
- Only need a few things in a bathroom for men, shaving gel and razor, toothpaste and brush, soap, shampoo, bodywash (maybe) and washcloth or something else to wipe yourself down with, we could go on for months on shit women need in a bathroom.
- Just like the previous post, just not having to have so much shit in your house period.

Sounds like the definition of women in the Army.

Katipan
06-15-2009, 05:20 PM
One of the best things about being a man..
In less than 15 minutes to be able to go from dirty from yard work or working on the car,,,to showered hair washed shaved teeth brushed dressed keys in hand ready to go out.
No woman can do that..............

Bullshit. I'd say that I do that every day except I don't do yard work or work on my car every day.

But I could. And would.

RippedmyFlesh
06-15-2009, 05:30 PM
Bullshit. I'd say that I do that every day except I don't do yard work or work on my car every day.

But I could. And would.
Ok most woman then..............You are an exception in your good prep time.......

BigMeatballDave
06-15-2009, 05:36 PM
- We ****.......women like to make love
Don't kid yourself. Chicks like to bang as much as we do.

FAX
06-15-2009, 05:38 PM
I don't know how you do that, actually.

I've never timed myself, but I'm guessing it takes me at least 10 minutes to shave. That is, when I'm not merely splashing kerosene on my face, setting a match to it, and just burning the stubble off.

FAX

Katipan
06-15-2009, 05:40 PM
I don't know how you do that, actually.

I've never timed myself, but I'm guessing it takes me at least 10 minutes to shave. That is, when I'm not merely splashing kerosene on my face, setting a match to it, and just burning the stubble off.

FAX

I don't have to shave until the full moon.

Katipan
06-15-2009, 05:41 PM
Ok most woman then..............You are an exception in your good prep time.......

But just so we're clear. I'll happily take 4 hours too.

BigMeatballDave
06-15-2009, 05:42 PM
- No drama and gossip
This is BS, too. A month before they started to lay people off where I worked, there were different rumors everyday about what was going to happen. The only female in that plant was the secretary. I've known a lot of guys that gossip like school girls.

FAX
06-15-2009, 05:50 PM
One of your posts got me to thinking, Ms. Katipan ... it's the ear hair deal.

Most guys (and women, I suppose) don't develop significant ear hair until they're more advanced in years. Clearly, there is some genetic reason for this, yet it makes little or no sense. Why would older human beings need ear hair as their age advances? It seems as though, if anything, the opposite would be more logical. Young humans are more active and, therefore, more likely to need protection from poison darts or stone missiles or spears targeted at the ear area, in which case ear hair might provide some minimal amount of protection. Obviously in their later years, human beings often find that the quality of their hearing declines so it's illogical that ear hair comes along just at the time when that sense is minimized.

Frankly, I fail to see why this occurs.

FAX

Skip Towne
06-15-2009, 05:52 PM
One of your posts got me to thinking, Ms. Katipan ... it's the ear hair deal.

Most guys (and women, I suppose) don't develop significant ear hair until they're more advanced in years. Clearly, there is some genetic reason for this, yet it makes little or no sense. Why would older human beings need ear hair as their age advances? It seems as though, if anything, the opposite would be more logical. Young humans are more active and, therefore, more likely to need protection from poison darts or stone missiles or spears targeted at the ear area, in which case ear hair might provide some minimal amount of protection. Obviously in their later years, human beings often find that the quality of their hearing declines so it's illogical that ear hair comes along just at the time when that sense is minimized.

Frankly, I fail to see why this occurs.

FAX

It's because we have poor circulation and need it for warmth. But I really hate it.

Katipan
06-15-2009, 05:53 PM
It just grows really really slow.

RippedmyFlesh
06-15-2009, 05:54 PM
But just so we're clear. I'll happily take 4 hours too.
The whole getting ready to go out thing can be described by this typical conversation....

Me So lets go to the grocery store and get it over with

Her I have to get ready I'll just be a minute...

Me Its just the grocery store you look fine..

Her Don't be silly johnny ill be ready in a bit...

We never have to "get ready" to go grocery shopping.
It's just easier being a guy as far as that stuff goes.

Buehler445
06-15-2009, 05:59 PM
I'm curious if there are men here who ever get frustrated with the whole, I'm a man and I grunt and am powerful stereotypical type stuff? Are there men on here who feel that being a man encompasses more than just things attached to your penis?

What'd it feel like when you held your child for the first time?
What was the first time you really felt like you were a man instead of a boy?
What's your biggest fear as a father or as a person in general?


I KNOW......I KNOW...but now you all have me so curious!

1. No kids for the Buehler445-man
2. Eh, I don't know. Probably the first time I watched my checking account go to 0 and figured out what I was going to do until my next paycheck. Contrary to popular belief, there isn't a right of passage or epiphany type thing.
3. Failure.


I think it does encompass more. A lot more. And I think most of the whole "we don't feel emotions" stuff is a combination of fear and social conditioning. But does the stereotype frustrate me? No. Not at all. I am who I am, and couldn't give two shits how anybody else wants to act. You be you and be happy with it.

I feel emotions. Lots of them. I just don't let them control me or feel the need to talk about ALL of them. Particularly in cases where I can't do anything about the situation.

The are the animated metaphor for a vagina really. Big saggy red shoes. Red swollen lips in an eerily inviting pose. Giant red nose bulb just asking to be sqeezed and popped. Even the huge afro head. Maybe that is why so many men are intrigued and yet frightened by clowns.

Wow. That's the first time I've heard that one...

RJ
06-15-2009, 06:04 PM
Ear hair is to keep the insects out. As we become more sedentary, we become an easier target for roaches, flies and other insects that try to lay eggs in the warm confines of our brains. Do NOT allow the barber to trim your ear hair.

stevieray
06-15-2009, 06:35 PM
I play the mission impossible theme when waiting to go has gone too far....

Rain Man
06-15-2009, 07:28 PM
Historically speaking, being a man is what gives me my best shot at having sex with a woman.

stevieray
06-15-2009, 07:31 PM
Historically speaking, being a man is what gives me my best shot at having sex with a woman.

I thought for sure you were going to say Rain...after further enquiry... I suspect, in a way, you did.

RJ
06-15-2009, 07:34 PM
Historically speaking, being a man is what gives me my best shot at having sex with a woman.


That brings up an interesting question.

Say a really good looking, well, built, well dressed young woman and an average looking, not so well built, not so well dressed man walk into the same bar on a Saturday night. It is not a gay bar. They possess similar intellect and financial standing. And they both are hoping to leave with a woman.

Which one has the better chance?

Rain Man
06-15-2009, 07:42 PM
I should perhaps also note that being a man typically means that you can operate without limits. Whether it's biological or cultural or social, a man can do things that women typically can't, won't, or don't. (I don't know which.)

If I want to walk across the U.S., or start a rock band, or start a company that makes granite chewing gum, I pretty much feel like I can do it. I think to some extent women are more likely to perceive a greater risk in such activities, whether real or perceived.

I wonder if it's about media perceptions and/or role models. I feel like a guy can play a wider range of characters in society. He can be eccentric or even downright weird and still be accepted as long as it's within some type of boundary, whereas a woman has a narrower range of characters without getting ostracized. If Forrest Gump had been a female character, would the movie have been successful?

The other good thing about being a guy, which I don't really consciously think about, is the historical role models. Most of history is about the great accomplishments of men, and I think that subtly adds to the confidence of men, even if we had nothing to do with those accomplishments. It's easier to imagine yourself as king when you spent your childhood reading about Caesar and Alexander and Hannibal.

Norman Einstein
06-15-2009, 07:47 PM
What is great about being a man is that with a little common sense and some amount of logic you can figure out any woman within aobut 25 days.

The only problem with the ability to get a handle on the workings of a woman is every 28 days the concrete hard rules change and the cycle starts all over.

stevieray
06-15-2009, 07:48 PM
The other good thing about being a guy, which I don't really consciously think about, is the historical role models. Most of history is about the great accomplishments of men, and I think that subtly adds to the confidence of men, even if we had nothing to do with those accomplishments. It's easier to imagine yourself as king when you spent your childhood reading about Caesar and Alexander and Hannibal.

some say to see the greatness of a man, you look for the woman behind the man.

I'd say you're in pretty good shape.

FAX
06-15-2009, 08:05 PM
Richard Attenborough (sp?), in a Playboy interview, once said that, "A man can go only so far in life. But, with the right woman he can go twice as far."

I believe that. Dang pushy women.

FAX

Bacon Cheeseburger
06-15-2009, 08:25 PM
Being a man means all of the power tools are mine.

Lumpy
06-15-2009, 08:26 PM
Being a man means all of the power tools are mine.

Not if u were my man. :p

Bacon Cheeseburger
06-15-2009, 08:28 PM
Not if u were my man. :p
We'd compromise, you'd be allowed to use the lawn mower. :D

Lumpy
06-15-2009, 08:31 PM
We'd compromise, you'd be allowed to use the lawn mower. :D

Only if I can run u over w/ it. o:-)

Bowser
06-15-2009, 08:37 PM
I also like breaking out the Cartman voice and yelling "OH YEAH? WELL, YOU CAN GET YOUR BITCH ASS IN THE BEDROOM, AND MAKE BABIES!!!"

Women can't do that.

JohnnyV13
06-15-2009, 08:56 PM
The best part I like about being a man, is if I'm pissed off at someone, I can confront them directly instead of making a series of passive aggressive attacks directed at issues entirely unrelated to the real problem.

KcMizzou
06-15-2009, 08:59 PM
The best part I like about being a man, is if I'm pissed off at someone, I can confront them directly instead of making a series of passive aggressive attacks directed at issues entirely unrelated to the real problem.That... plus you can just have it out, and when it's done, it's done. Grudges are for girls.

rockymtnchief
06-15-2009, 09:09 PM
Going to work, then shopping, then to dinner, then to the movie, and finally to the bar...all in the same pair of shoes.

CoMoChief
06-15-2009, 09:13 PM
How many inventions have women created. Can anyone here think of a few off-hand?

luv
06-15-2009, 09:16 PM
Going to work, then shopping, then to dinner, then to the movie, and finally to the bar...all in the same pair of shoes.

I can do that.

luv
06-15-2009, 09:22 PM
The whole getting ready to go out thing can be described by this typical conversation....

Me So lets go to the grocery store and get it over with

Her I have to get ready I'll just be a minute...

Me Its just the grocery store you look fine..

Her Don't be silly johnny ill be ready in a bit...

We never have to "get ready" to go grocery shopping.
It's just easier being a guy as far as that stuff goes.

Put the hair in a ponytail, make sure I have a bra on, and slip on some flip-flops. Let's go!

Buehler445
06-15-2009, 09:28 PM
Put the hair in a ponytail, make sure I have a bra on, and slip on some flip-flops. Let's go!

Not necessary. Didn't you read the thread???

luv
06-15-2009, 09:30 PM
Not necessary. Didn't you read the thread???

Definitely necessary.

FAX
06-15-2009, 10:14 PM
How many inventions have women created. Can anyone here think of a few off-hand?

Katherine Blodgett invented non-reflecting glass ... it's used in frame shops so there's no glare on paintings and prints and things.

Madame Curie discovered radium and some other stuff.

Bette Nesmith invented liquid paper. (A Monkee Mom.)

Ruth Handler invented the Barbie Doll. (She is actually the aunt of one of my business partners.)

... and last but not least ...

Mary Phelps Jacob invented the bra. (Booooo!!!)

FAX

DJay23
06-15-2009, 10:31 PM
On manhood:

When in a small group of family or friends or at a social gathering with cohorts, I find it is completely acceptable for me to say a few words to those gathered, shmooze briefly, and then thumb through a magazine, watch TV, or just kind of wander around on my own. Now I am by no means a social person. I'd rather be in the yard mowing the grass where no one can bother me, so this is a perk I quite enjoy. But I will say a few things at first, just to show I'm not a psycho. The thing is, if the fiance does this, she'll be cast out of society and people she doesn't know will make her cry in the street with all of the mean mean things they'd say to her. I do it, no one notices!

On clowns:
They are creepy because they could have the foulest most wretched expression on their face, but it's covered by a painted on smile. It's disengenuous.

On ear hair:
We grow more as we get older because testosterone levels increase with age. Therefore you get more hair in places that you didn't have when you were younger (and with less testosterone). Not sure about the hair on the head though. Both are determined genetically of course.

bdeg
06-15-2009, 10:34 PM
If Forrest Gump had been a female character, would the movie have been successful?

it's shocking how true that is. i hadn't realized it

Phobia
06-15-2009, 10:50 PM
Besides my penis? My balls. I love my balls and they love me. I will press submit and then scratch them immediately.

Ari Chi3fs
06-16-2009, 12:09 AM
If there is such a thing as reincarnation... I'm pretty sure that I come back as a man most every time. Because being a man is awesome.

JOhn
06-16-2009, 12:13 AM
If there is such a thing as reincarnation... I'm pretty sure that I come back as a man most every time. Because being a man is awesome.

ROFL

This

Katipan
06-16-2009, 06:04 AM
If there is such a thing as reincarnation... I'm pretty sure that I come back as a man most every time. Because being a man is awesome.

Buddhists believe you either come back as a mean ghost, an animal, a demon, a human, or a God.

And you pick man.

lol

I'm so glad I'm woman.

RippedmyFlesh
06-16-2009, 08:23 AM
Buddhists believe you either come back as a mean ghost, an animal, a demon, a human, or a God.

And you pick man.

lol

I'm so glad I'm woman.

Of the 5 you would have to say man is in 2nd to god right?

Katipan
06-16-2009, 08:29 AM
Of the 5 you would have to say man is in 2nd to god right?

Only in his own head babe.

tooge
06-16-2009, 08:29 AM
being able to jack off into a sock. Try that one gals!

MOhillbilly
06-16-2009, 08:32 AM
i like that i can tella woman to stfd and stfu and it still gets the same results the 1000th time as it did the 1st.

Iowanian
06-16-2009, 08:32 AM
I can smell like sweat, motor oil, gun powder, cow shit and beer, be spattered in mud, blood, hair and grease and know I've had a damn good day. I can take off my boots, wash the above mentioned from my hands, have 2 little girls crawl onto my lap and read a Sandra Boyton book and know they feel safer at night because I did.

Iowanian
06-16-2009, 08:38 AM
I like that the smell of my flatulence is an aphrodisiac for most women.

It is my gift, it is my curse.

DMAC
06-16-2009, 08:54 AM
Men have the ability to posess "mojo".

JD10367
06-16-2009, 09:05 AM
I think my views are pretty similar to most.

1.) Peeing standing up. Highly underrated.

2.) The ability to swear, and straight-talk. Men can be a lot blunter and forthright.

3.) Not having to worry about getting pregnant.

4.) Not bleeding every 28 days.

5.) Not having to worry about how I look. Women have to spend so much time and money on primping and accessories. I have a pair of work jeans, and a pair of day-off jeans, and a bunch of T-shirts, and maintenance as taught by my dad was "the three Ses" of "shit, shave, and shower", and then slap on a little deodorant and cologne and run a comb through the hair and you're good to go. Women have high heels, dresses, handbags, earrings, other accessories, all to be coordinated, the hair to be done just right, et cetera.

6.) In a related vein, not having to worry about how I walk, how I sit, etc.,. I can drop onto a chair, legs akimbo. I can shuffle, swagger, lurch, spit, scratch, belch, whatever.

7.) I haven't verified this, but I think peeing feels better for men. You know what I mean, guys? When you REALLY have to go and it's so good to get it out it's like a mini-orgasm? The women I've queried on the subject say all they feel is an intense pressure, for the most part.

8.) Being able to walk around and only worry about getting mugged, not getting raped. (Although this really depends on the city you're in, and what neighborhood.)

9.) Not being underestimated. Passed over for a promotion. Told I drive like shit. Told I can't figure out electrical stuff. Treated like an object. Et cetera.

10.) Not having to feel responsible for housework. I'm not saying a man shouldn't do it, I'm just saying so many women feel they HAVE to do it, know what I mean?

On the other hand... women get multiple orgasms. And they look SO much better than we do. Really, if guys could be women for a day, and we were a good-lookin' woman, we'd probably spend the day locked in the bedroom with a giant mirror and a vibrator, going, "This is so cool!" :D

DMAC
06-16-2009, 09:07 AM
Some men are homosexuals...this is not a good quality of some men.

Katipan
06-16-2009, 09:08 AM
Oh no. It definitely feels wonderful when you've been holding it for a while and you let it all out. Orgasms are way better but they're supposed to be.

Jilly
06-16-2009, 09:19 AM
Oh no. It definitely feels wonderful when you've been holding it for a while and you let it all out. Orgasms are way better but they're supposed to be.

I've been told that you can't pee while you orgasm, but that if you did "pee" while you orgasm'ed it actually isn't pee, just something I learned recently.

Katipan
06-16-2009, 09:21 AM
I've been told that you can't pee while you orgasm, but that if you did "pee" while you orgasm'ed it actually isn't pee, just something I learned recently.

I know guys can't.

oooh my. Total flashback.

I know for a fact I can not pee with a penis inside me. I tried. :p

Jilly
06-16-2009, 09:25 AM
I know guys can't.

oooh my. Total flashback.

I know for a fact I can not pee with a penis inside me. I tried. :p

Did you tell him you were trying or was it just your own little secret you were trying out?

JD10367
06-16-2009, 09:27 AM
This thread just took a magnificent turn. :D

Katipan
06-16-2009, 09:33 AM
Did you tell him you were trying or was it just your own little secret you were trying out?

"baby wait. i have to pee."
"why didn't you think of that before?"
"i didn't have to go before."
"i make you have to pee?"
"too deep"
"i'm not the one on top"
"baby I'm going to pee on you!"
"we all make sacrifices"

Jilly
06-16-2009, 09:36 AM
"baby wait. i have to pee."
"why didn't you think of that before?"
"i didn't have to go before."
"i make you have to pee?"
"too deep"
"i'm not the one on top"
"baby I'm going to pee on you!"
"we all make sacrifices"

I HATE needing to pee whilst having the sex. There is absolutely NO sexy way of excusing yourself to do that. But wow, how awesome of him to be so sacrificial! Must make him a real man.

Katipan
06-16-2009, 09:37 AM
But I couldn't pee. :(

So he only has the potential to be a real man. :p

Jilly
06-16-2009, 09:40 AM
But I couldn't pee. :(

So he only has the potential to be a real man. :p

I couldn't have peed either, that's just too much. I'm just not into that whole pissing on people thing, it's like the one line I don't cross...that and animals.

ChiefButthurt
06-16-2009, 09:40 AM
:thumb:"baby wait. i have to pee."
"why didn't you think of that before?"
"i didn't have to go before."
"i make you have to pee?"
"too deep"
"i'm not the one on top"
"baby I'm going to pee on you!"
"we all make sacrifices"

Your turn......Jilly made her comment and now it's your turn.:clap:

FAX
06-16-2009, 09:43 AM
If we're ever having sex, Ms. Katipan, and you have to pee, please feel free to tell me immediately.

Thank you.

FAX

Katipan
06-16-2009, 09:44 AM
I couldn't have peed either, that's just too much. I'm just not into that whole pissing on people thing, it's like the one line I don't cross...that and animals.

I wasn't excited about it!!!

Katipan
06-16-2009, 09:45 AM
If we're ever having sex, Ms. Katipan, and you have to pee, please feel free to tell me immediately.

Thank you.

FAX

If I didn't tell you it was pee, you wouldn't know. :D

Shag
06-16-2009, 09:47 AM
If clowns were so friggin' dangerous, we would have clown armies ... which we don't. There would be clown spies and clown hitmen and clown prisons ... which there aren't.


That's just what they want you to believe. The greatest trick clowns ever pulled was to make the world think they were good...

FAX
06-16-2009, 09:50 AM
If I didn't tell you it was pee, you wouldn't know. :D

Perhaps, perhaps not. Nevertheless, my request stands as previously stated.

I prefer that my partners provide advance notice that they are about to pee.

FAX

RJ
06-16-2009, 09:51 AM
Two words.

Box scores.

Jilly
06-16-2009, 09:54 AM
I wasn't excited about it!!!

Ok, I was just letting you know my parameters before we meet in RL.

kepp
06-16-2009, 09:54 AM
One of your posts got me to thinking, Ms. Katipan ... it's the ear hair deal.

Most guys (and women, I suppose) don't develop significant ear hair until they're more advanced in years.

On a recent visit with my parents, I came up with a new term for my Dad's (and, in the future, my) condition - the 'earfro'. Scary.

Jilly
06-16-2009, 09:55 AM
On a recent visit with my parents, I came up with a new term for my Dad's (and, in the future, my) condition - the 'earfro'. Scary.
Can't men just trim those things with nose trimmers? My husband's constantly asking, can you pull this one hair? I never can find it, he gets pissed, finds and pulls it himself and then I watch his eyes water for the next 5 minutes.

RJ
06-16-2009, 09:59 AM
And back to that question of "when did you first feel like a man?", here's a couple.

The first time someone called me "sir". It was on a plane trip, from a stewardess.

The first time a barber asked me if I wanted my nose hairs trimmed.

The first one made me feel very adult. The second made me feel very old.

kepp
06-16-2009, 10:04 AM
Can't men just trim those things with nose trimmers? My husband's constantly asking, can you pull this one hair? I never can find it, he gets pissed, finds and pulls it himself and then I watch his eyes water for the next 5 minutes.

Yes, and, thinking preemptively, my wife bought me one.

Jilly
06-16-2009, 10:09 AM
And what about eyebrows? He's got this one eyebrow hair that I swear is two inches long...I swear I'm going to pull it while he's sleeping, but he's named the damn thing and I'm sure it would make him cry to say goodbye to it.

kepp
06-16-2009, 10:12 AM
Oh man, my wife convinced me once to let her pluck my eyebrows. NEVER. AGAIN. I do trim them though...and my ear/nose hair.

Jilly
06-16-2009, 10:16 AM
Oh man, my wife convinced me once to let her pluck my eyebrows. NEVER. AGAIN. I do trim them though...and my ear/nose hair.

It hurts like hell, yes. Waxing is way better for eyebrows!!! That's when my husband knew he was getting older also, the beautician asked if she could trim his eyebrows. He told her hell no. That fuckin eyebrow.

Katipan
06-16-2009, 10:16 AM
Oh man, my wife convinced me once to let her pluck my eyebrows. NEVER. AGAIN. I do trim them though...and my ear/nose hair.

SO FUGGING BIZARRE.

Most men I've ever really known would take off running if you came at them with tweezers.

Y'all can rub some dirt on a bullet hole and be ready for more hunting. But pluck a damn hair out and it's like we took a nut.

RJ
06-16-2009, 10:18 AM
And what about eyebrows? He's got this one eyebrow hair that I swear is two inches long...I swear I'm going to pull it while he's sleeping, but he's named the damn thing and I'm sure it would make him cry to say goodbye to it.


I used to date a girl who liked to yank my eyebrow hairs.

Used to.

kepp
06-16-2009, 10:19 AM
SO FUGGING BIZARRE.

Most men I've ever really known would take off running if you came at them with tweezers.

Having witnessed my Dad's progression, I realize the need for intervention on her part.

Y'all can rub some dirt on a bullet hole and be ready for more hunting. But pluck a damn hair out and it's like we took a nut.

:shrug: I don't know...it's just a different kind of hurt. Like masochistic in nature.

T-post Tom
06-16-2009, 10:33 AM
The best part of being a man is answering questions about what the best part of being a man is... :)

Jilly
06-16-2009, 11:49 AM
The best part of being a man is answering questions about what the best part of being a man is... :)

Does it make you feel manly?

Bowser
06-16-2009, 11:51 AM
Katipan and Jilly need a FUD.

http://www.go-girl.com/

Jilly
06-16-2009, 11:57 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJlL9qY9XjA

Jilly
06-22-2009, 10:10 AM
Just wanted to say thanks to those that contributed to this thread, I preached a great sermon thanks to your insight!!!! Believe it or not!

seclark
06-22-2009, 10:38 AM
Just wanted to say thanks to those that contributed to this thread, I preached a great sermon thanks to your insight!!!! Believe it or not!
you didn't drop any names, didja? usually when my pastor uses me as a reference, i'm not so sure the Big Guy is too impressed.
sec

Jilly
06-22-2009, 12:05 PM
you didn't drop any names, didja? usually when my pastor uses me as a reference, i'm not so sure the Big Guy is too impressed.
sec

no names at all...not even the name of the message board...you all were referred to as, a bunch of guys I know.....

FAX
06-22-2009, 12:08 PM
If you don't mind, Ms. Jilly ... what was the gist of your sermon?

FAX

Buehler445
06-22-2009, 12:09 PM
If you don't mind, Ms. Jilly ... what was the gist of your sermon?

FAX

This. I'm interested to know how you gleaned a sermon out of this. Other than the kid being born stuff.

Katipan
06-22-2009, 12:11 PM
...you all were referred to as, a bunch of guys I know.....

wtf

Donger
06-22-2009, 12:13 PM
I presume "having a penis and testicles" has been mentioned already?

Jilly
06-22-2009, 12:14 PM
If you don't mind, Ms. Jilly ... what was the gist of your sermon?

FAX

men finding and using their calling from God...that they have unique gifts they should use to further the Kingdom on earth...so I tried to identify those unique gifts that were appropriate for church!!! I quoted you directly, FAX...hope you don't mind!

My assessment, whether I like to admit this or not (and I don't), is that men make people feel safer, have the ability to be passionate but not let it overrun the rational self which sometimes causes more change and more action, men have a quiet authority (that one I hate to admit), and because of these things are in a unique position in the world to effect more change than say a stronger woman.

I realized it was broad strokes and not every man is like this, but as a general rule of thumb, what I gathered from most of you, is this innate desire to be more than you are, but also cherish what you've been so far.

Jilly
06-22-2009, 12:15 PM
wtf

because, the question was specifically geared towards the gentlemen and as much as you think you're a guy, it's not a question you can answer authentically...you'd agree with that right?

Katipan
06-22-2009, 12:17 PM
because, the question was specifically geared towards the gentlemen and as much as you think you're a guy, it's not a question you can answer authentically...you'd agree with that right?

It was a joke. As much as some of your respondents were men.

FAX
06-22-2009, 12:29 PM
That was an interesting approach, Ms. Jilly. I'm sure it went over very well. A Christian audience would be very receptive to those ideas, I imagine. Congratulations.

It raises an interesting concept, though. I think there's something to the notion that men harbor a kind of strength that is unique to their sex. Certainly, men are taught from an early age that it is their "role" to be strong - regardless of how they feel at the time. Still, even the strongest men I personally know take refuge in a woman's arms and love.

What a crazy, mixed-up world we live in.

FAX

Pioli Zombie
06-22-2009, 12:34 PM
Puttin on the fart mask.
Posted via Mobile Device

Jilly
06-22-2009, 12:35 PM
That was an interesting approach, Ms. Jilly. I'm sure it went over very well. A Christian audience would be very receptive to those ideas, I imagine. Congratulations.

It raises an interesting concept, though. I think there's something to the notion that men harbor a kind of strength that is unique to their sex. Certainly, men are taught from an early age that it is their "role" to be strong - regardless of how they feel at the time. Still, even the strongest men I personally know take refuge in a woman's arms and love.

What a crazy, mixed-up world we live in.

FAX

Yeah, and that's what I struggled with. There's a lot of stereotypes and figuring out which of those have some kernel of truth. I can honestly say that I didn't fully 100% believe in what I was saying, which made me feel like it sucked....

What I wanted to really say was, We can celebrate men because we love their cocks. But you know.....I had to temper it down.

burt
06-22-2009, 12:44 PM
What I wanted to really say was, We can celebrate men because we love their cocks. But you know.....I had to temper it down.

Nope....no reason to temper a great statment like that! By the way....each of us men love our own as well......and want to share it!

Iowanian
06-22-2009, 01:10 PM
You should have worked in the ancient chInowanian proverb:
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Broad.

Rain Man
06-22-2009, 01:17 PM
Our superior ability to convert a 3rd and 1 has been completely left out of this discussion so far.

Sully
06-22-2009, 01:20 PM
Our superior ability to convert a 3rd and 1 has been completely left out of this discussion so far.

Yeah...but Greg Hill goes to our church, and she didn't want to just overtly hurt feelings.

FishingRod
06-22-2009, 02:09 PM
Best part would have to be knowing that My X -wife has different chromosomes than me. If I were of her gender, I would probably have to drink the Anti Freeze and throw myself in the woodchipper. Don't get me wrong I consider myself an admirer of women but along with the greatest capacity for kindness and compassion amongst our species, they have the greatest capacity for Evil. My X lies so much she has to have someone else call her dog.

EyePod
06-22-2009, 02:54 PM
Wolf T-shirts

I never stop laughing at this fucking thing.

Pablo
06-22-2009, 04:08 PM
Having a penis, drinking whiskey and listening to Hank Jr.

Oh, and being able to piss on ant mounds and drown them.

BigRedChief
06-22-2009, 04:12 PM
Yeah...but Greg Hill goes to our church, and she didn't want to just overtly hurt feelings.
ROFL okay, so give us the scoop on the Marty..Did Greg Hill schtoop Mrs. Marty? Or was it Marty's girlfriend?