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View Full Version : Football Checklist of Josh McDaniels' Goals


Kerberos
07-02-2009, 07:18 AM
HA HA

I found this while doing some google searching.


http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/view/5817153/1?category=NFL

It's at the bottom of the page.




MY GOALS THIS SEASON BY JOSH McDANIELS

1. Expose myself as a liar : Check

2. Stockpile more running backs than we need : Check

3. Trade Away Franchise Quarterback : Check

4. Use my first round pick on another running back : Check

5. Name a backup quarterback as my starting quarterback : Check

6 . Upset my Pro-Bowl receiver to the point where he requests a trade : Check

7. Make Al Davis look sane again : Check

8. Lose at least once to every team in the AFC West : Looking promising

9. Finish dead last in the NFL : Man I envy the Detroit Lions

10 . Use the No. 1 pick in the 2010 draft on another running back : Man I love running backs

Bonus: Get rid of all these No. 7 jerseys hanging up on the walls. Who is this guy?

big nasty kcnut
07-02-2009, 07:19 AM
Lol this.
Posted via Mobile Device

LaChapelle
07-02-2009, 07:20 AM
You just opened up the flood gates to the river of denial.

Kerberos
07-02-2009, 07:23 AM
You just opened up the flood gates to the river of denial.

Yup

BlowMo will be in here any minute to tell us why Denver will be going to the super bowl this year.

PhillyChiefFan
07-02-2009, 08:09 AM
ROFL nice!

MagicHef
07-02-2009, 09:04 AM
HA HA

I found this while doing some google searching.


http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/view/5817153/1?category=NFL

It's at the bottom of the page.




MY GOALS THIS SEASON BY JOSH McDANIELS

1. Expose myself as a liar : Check

2. Stockpile more running backs than we need : Check

3. Trade Away Franchise Quarterback : Check

4. Use my first round pick on another running back : Check

5. Name a backup quarterback as my starting quarterback : Check

6 . Upset my Pro-Bowl receiver to the point where he requests a trade : Check

7. Make Al Davis look sane again : Check

8. Lose at least once to every team in the AFC West : Looking promising

9. Finish dead last in the NFL : Man I envy the Detroit Lions

10 . Use the No. 1 pick in the 2010 draft on another running back : Man I love running backs

Bonus: Get rid of all these No. 7 jerseys hanging up on the walls. Who is this guy?

All I'm going to say is that anyone that actually wrote #2 obviously didn't see the Broncos last year.

chiefbowe82
07-02-2009, 09:09 AM
capture chicagos entire draft....check

wild1
07-02-2009, 10:10 AM
ring Matt Cassel's door in the rain and tell him that he completes you.... check.

talastan
07-02-2009, 10:49 AM
Make Know-MO the biggest homer in Donkey-land.....check! :D

Raised On Riots
07-02-2009, 11:34 AM
Excellent work. :clap:

Mile High Mania
07-02-2009, 11:43 AM
Slow day, eh?

Raised On Riots
07-02-2009, 11:45 AM
Slow day, eh?

But rarely ever dull thanks to your boyz!:D

LaChapelle
07-02-2009, 11:49 AM
Broncos Willing To Listen To Offers For Brandon Marshall?
Posted by Mike Florio on July 2, 2009 11:42 AM
Though the word on the street continues to be that the Denver Broncos will not be trading receiver Brandon Marshall, Adam Schefter points out in his only current location for the dissemination of NFL news and notes that, while the Broncos won't be making calls, they will taking calls.

If, you know, any calls come.

We don't know whether this is a new attitude on the part of the team, and specifically whether it comes in the wake of the disclosure that Marshall told police in October 2007, "I hate this f--king city."

And we continue to be fascinated by the possibility that Marshall's camp leaked the 20-month-old comment, in the hopes of stoking a fan and media outcry that could force the team to take the best offer they could get.

Schefter, a former Broncos beat writer, also believes that the Broncos would take a first-round pick for Marshall. And that's a surprise, given that the current market for a No. 1 wideout is a first-round pick and a third-round pick.

But even if Marshall can be had for only a first-rounder, his new team would also have to be willing to pay him $9 million or so per year -- and would have hope/wish/pray that neither his hip nor his off-field tendencies would keep Marshall from being available to play.

Just Passin' By
07-02-2009, 11:53 AM
Broncos Willing To Listen To Offers For Brandon Marshall?
Posted by Mike Florio on July 2, 2009 11:42 AM
Though the word on the street continues to be that the Denver Broncos will not be trading receiver Brandon Marshall, Adam Schefter points out in his only current location for the dissemination of NFL news and notes that, while the Broncos won't be making calls, they will taking calls.

If, you know, any calls come.

We don't know whether this is a new attitude on the part of the team, and specifically whether it comes in the wake of the disclosure that Marshall told police in October 2007, "I hate this f--king city."

And we continue to be fascinated by the possibility that Marshall's camp leaked the 20-month-old comment, in the hopes of stoking a fan and media outcry that could force the team to take the best offer they could get.

Schefter, a former Broncos beat writer, also believes that the Broncos would take a first-round pick for Marshall. And that's a surprise, given that the current market for a No. 1 wideout is a first-round pick and a third-round pick.

But even if Marshall can be had for only a first-rounder, his new team would also have to be willing to pay him $9 million or so per year -- and would have hope/wish/pray that neither his hip nor his off-field tendencies would keep Marshall from being available to play.

I don't blame the Broncos for shopping him around, if they really are doing so. If I were the GM, I'd be looking for a way to get his ass out of town, too. With the insane man running the NFL offices, it's just a matter of time before suspension hits.

Kerberos
07-02-2009, 04:23 PM
Slow day, eh?

I think before all of this is over McDumbass is going to be the "Whipping Boy of the Media"

If he doesn't pull the proverbial rabbit out of a hat this season I think "IMO" that his days may be numbered.

Then again as a chiefs fan I hope he falls flat on his ass like his predecessors that left NE have and that Pat Bowlen is 5 years patient with him. :thumb:

Goldmember
07-02-2009, 04:37 PM
I always wondered if McDaniels and Pioli talked about being a GM/coach combo for the Chiefs and was surprised that it didn't happen since they worked together at NE. Now it's very clear why he didn't ask him to be his coach.

or...could it be part of a big plan that McDaniels would go to Denver and screw them up so bad it would take years to recover? :fart:

Just Passin' By
07-02-2009, 04:40 PM
I always wondered if McDaniels and Pioli talked about being a GM/coach combo for the Chiefs and was surprised that it didn't happen since they worked together at NE. Now it's very clear why he didn't ask him to be his coach.

or...could it be part of a big plan that McDaniels would go to Denver and screw them up so bad it would take years to recover? :fart:

McDaniels isn't the head coach of the Chiefs because McDaniels was hired before Pioli. From what I've heard and read, if Pioli had gotten hired first, McDaniels would have followed him to that team.

Raised On Riots
07-02-2009, 04:49 PM
McDaniels isn't the head coach of the Chiefs because McDaniels was hired before Pioli. From what I've heard and read, if Pioli had gotten hired first, McDaniels would have followed him to that team.

Or would he?

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_BYX14125JUQ/RexzFg_31SI/AAAAAAAAAFc/FlLcl_Gn78w/s320/John_Belushi.jpg

Goldmember
07-02-2009, 05:19 PM
McDaniels isn't the head coach of the Chiefs because McDaniels was hired before Pioli. From what I've heard and read, if Pioli had gotten hired first, McDaniels would have followed him to that team.

Sure, but they could have discussed it prior to Denver hiring him because word was out that Pioli was going to the Chiefs BEFORE McDaniels he went to Denver. Could be that he didn't want to hire him. Where did you hear otherwise?

MagicHef
07-02-2009, 05:24 PM
Josh McDaniels has destroyed the team.

Before this offseason, Denver was a football paradise. Under Mike Shanahan, the Broncos were so dominant that they lost games just to encourage their opponents. Their opponents needed increasing amounts of encouragement.

Pat Bowlen became so bored with the everyday perfection of the Bronco team that he snuck up behind Coach Mike Shanahan while he was watching a play at Ford Theater and shot him in the head. Later it was proved that Bowlen had been hypnotized by Bill Belichick.

Then Bill Belichick secretly infiltrated the crafty Josh McDaniels into the situation to further destroy the most amazing team ever. Bowlen, who was still under hypnosis, was made to hire McDaniels and act like a chicken whenever he saw John Madden. This explains why you never see Bowlen and Madden together.

McDaniels’ first step was to call the Bronco star quarterback, Jay Cutler, and tell him that he would be required to do musical theater in Boise, ID during the offseason. He then leaked a story about what a wonderful singer and actor Matt Cassel was.

After Cutler left in tears, McDaniels called Brandon Marshall and told him the police were looking for him. Marshall fled to Florida and hid under his mother’s bed.

As the final part of McDaniels’ master plan, he brought in a bunch of proven veterans and promising young players and made them compete for jobs.



Jay Cutler was replaced by Kyle Orton

After the hiring of Josh McDaniels, Jay Cutler was traded to the Chicago Bears. Jay Cutler was the only player on the Denver Broncos roster. A little known fact is that Denver was actually built by Jay Cutler while he was attending Pro Bowl games as a fetus.

It is a well known fact that John Elway only won his Super Bowls because he was actually Jay Cutler. Cutler was such a good quarterback that he often completed passes for both teams.

When Cutler was traded to Chicago, everyone in Denver tried to shoot each other but they all missed because Jay Cutler was the only guy in Denver that could hit anything.

Cutler was traded to the Chicago Bears for an armless, legless man named Kyle Orton who used to ring the church bells at Purdue. His scouting report said, “We don’t know who this guy is but his face sure rings a bell.”



Brandon Marshall holds out

Brandon Marshall, the only other player for the Denver Broncos, decided that while he was hiding under his mother’s bed, he should ask for more money. Everybody laughed.



Predictions

Kyle Orton will be mistaken for a tackling dummy and killed by his own team. Orton’s brother, who patterned his life after Kyle, will, upon hearing the news, throw himself from the church tower at Purdue. The obituary will read, “…he was a dead ringer for his brother.”

His backup, Chris Simms, will gradually lose all his internal organs during the season.

Brandon Marshall’s apparent longest touchdown of the season will be called back when referees realize that he didn’t catch the ball but instead caught Chris Simms left kidney.

The Raiders will still finish last in the division.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/210229-the-ultimate-denver-is-doomed-article

Halfcan
07-02-2009, 06:03 PM
funny list

Kerberos
07-02-2009, 08:33 PM
Sure, but they could have discussed it prior to Denver hiring him because word was out that Pioli was going to the Chiefs BEFORE McDaniels he went to Denver. Could be that he didn't want to hire him. Where did you hear otherwise?

IMO

McDaniel took the first good offer he got. Wether he and Pioli discussed anything before hand we will probably never know.

I for one am glad to NOT have McDumbass as our head coach and I may or may not be a minority in this thought.

I am also not super excited about Haley but if I had to pick the lesser of two evils I would have to pick Haley. Not sure if I am also in the minority on that either?

Von Dumbass
07-02-2009, 08:39 PM
IMO

McDaniels took the best head coaching opening available in the NFL. Wether he and Pioli discussed anything before hand we will probably never know.



FYP

Denver had the pick of the litter, any coach that they wanted they would have gotten.

Raised On Riots
07-02-2009, 08:54 PM
FYP

Denver is a litter box.

FYP:D

Kerberos
07-03-2009, 07:00 AM
FYP

Denver had the pick of the litter, any coach that they wanted they would have gotten.

They couldn't have made a better pick IMO ROFL ROFL ROFL

Raised On Riots
07-03-2009, 11:45 AM
They couldn't have made a better pick IMO ROFL ROFL ROFL

Bowlen/Xanders Scientific Method For Head Coach Acquisition:

1) Consume case of 35 year-old Scotch.

2) Consult Ouija Board to determine names of potential candidates.

3) Place 8x10 glossies of candidates in non-linear pattern on walls of Executive Office.

4) Place blindfold on Bowlen, and spin him in circles for 15 seconds.

5) Place dart in Bowlen's hand, and May The Force Be With You.

JuicesFlowing
07-03-2009, 04:36 PM
#7 is debatable, but sure.